


Roar of the Dawn

by Sourcake



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Bullying, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Rivalry, Hogwarts Era, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Purebloods (Harry Potter), Romance, Scars, Slow Burn, angst again, family trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2019-08-17 07:29:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 49
Words: 166,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16511915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourcake/pseuds/Sourcake
Summary: "To Gryffindors I'm a Death Eater, to Slytherins I'm a mudblood."Rosa Dawn; the half blood bastard daughter of a member of the sacred 28 and on top of that, a Gryffindor. In other words, a disgrace.Excited but pessimistic to change her friendless state of being, her expectations for her fifth year drastically change when she is suddenly being taken note of. Wanting to be a part of any community, Rosa looks around her; her mother's World, the Death Eaters and her father's World, the Order. All whilst she finds those familiar Silver eyes wherever she goes. Truthfully, she has no clue as to how she's going to survive through the rest of her education.Follow Rosa as she tries to find her place in the World that has done nothing but reject her.Picks up from Order of the Pheonix and I'm planning on taking it to Post-Hogwarts era.





	1. Sold to a Crabbe

**Author's Note:**

> Just a slight reminder to all that I do not own anything Harry Potter. The only characters that are mine are most likely the ones that you don't recognize. Happy reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello, hello!  
> Welcome to my new Draco/OC fanfiction! I currently have about 7 chapters pre-written, I'll be posting those probably every three or so days!  
> I hope you will enjoy this little story, it's been in my mind for couple months now so I thought it was time to actually put pen to paper - or fingers to keyboard? Couple of these first chapters are quite short, because as a screenwriting student, I tend to go a little over board with the dialogue, but later chapters will be longer and less dialogue heavy.  
> Anyways as always, feel free to leave comments and feedback, and let me know what you think of it!

12:57pm.

 

_ Shit. _

_ Shitshitshitshit. _

_ Ok, I’m good. _

 

Rosa Dawn was running around her room getting ready. Her makeup was hastily done but pretty, her bad hair day was concealed by a quick elegant bun on the top of her head. She grabbed the grey dress her mother had picked out for her on her run in Diagon Alley. How she managed to find such beautiful dresses constantly, Rosa did not know. The dress was tea length, stopping at her ankle. It had a modest v-neckline, and lacy long sleeves. It wrapped her waist and frilled into a beautiful layered skirt. She zipped it up in no time; a perfect fit.

She rushed down, hearing her mother’s shouts from the living room. She was running late. A quick tempus gave her the exact time; 12:59.  _ Shit.  _ She ran, in her high heels, to the living room, where her mother, Madilyn Dawn, was sitting in a beautiful armchair, facing the fireplace. She had her cane elegantly between her fingers. Waiting. She was wearing one of her own dresses, one of the ones from her past. One of the ones that she didn’t wear often. Rosa stood next to her, staring into the fireplace.

“Wearing the dress?” her mother questioned quickly, not moving to look her daughter up and down like her regular habit was.

“Yeah” she answered matching her haste.

“Posture?” Rosa corrected hers instantly.   


“Straight as a pole”

“Manners?”

“Couldn’t care less for them” Rosa commented under her breath.

“Just wear your mask for 15 minutes, Rosa.”   


“I won’t disappoint, mother”

After a moment, the fireplace roared in green flames, and three people stepped into the medium sized living room. Rosa bowed her head in greeting, keeping her mouth shut. No matter how much she hated the custom, she let the men speak up first.

“Mrs. Dawn. Miss Dawn” the man greeted. Rosa’s mother raised her hand waiting for the man to grab it, which he did. He kissed the back of her hand slightly.

“Lord Crabbe at your service. May I present to you my wife, Lady Crabbe and my son Vincent” the old man introduced the rest of the two. The whole family looked very pompous and rich, dressed in probably their 5th best robes. Their attire still was much more beautiful than Rosa could ever dream of. Her gorgeous dress was no competition against Mrs. Crabbe’s bloodred robes.

“Lovely to meet you finally, Vincent. Clarisse, as always it’s lovely to see you. Please, do sit down” Rosa’s mother said with a sweet voice only Rosa knew to be fake.

Rosa poured everyone a cup of tea, asking for everyone’s preferences. (Mr. Crabbe liked his tea plain, Lady Crabbe enjoyed a dash of cream and Vincent wished for two cubes of sugar together with cream) The Crabbe family sat down around the coffee table, the oldest man sitting on a similar armchair as Mrs. Dawn, whilst Lady and Vincent shared the sofa with Rosa. Vincent as feeling uncomfortable with the lack of space, sandwitched between the two women. 

Rosa knew to stay silent through the conversation, she was here out of courtesy; ‘do not open that mouth of yours’ her mother had said to her weeks ago. ‘These are the most important conversations of your life’ she liked to remind her every other day after that.

“Has she been reserved?” Lord Crabbe started the interrogation.

“No, not yet” Mrs. Dawn answered quickly after swallowing her sip of tea. 

“Is there any offers?” the man asked, looking for straight answers, which he didn’t feel that the witch was giving him.

“We’re waiting for a few.”   


“That is a no, then” To Rosa’s surprise, the man turned to her. He looked at her dead in the eye. This was unusual, her eyebrows rose in intrigue. Her mother frowned uglily.

“Blood?” he questioned. Speed round then. Rosa smirked.

“Dirty, sir”

“Children?”

“Pure, sir”

“House?”

“Gryffindor, sir”

“Mudbloods?” Rosa took a breath, making up her mind.

“ _ Muggleborns _ , sir.” she corrected him. He glanced at her mother, who was clearly not liking Rosa’s answer. She didn’t care of her opinion. She would always fight against the predatory prejudice her family was plagued with. She felt a fit of anger in the pit of her stomach which she desperately tried to ignore.

“Career?”

“An Auror” she lied and subsequently dropped her manners.

“Friends?”

“Plenty” Lie.

“Subject?”

“Defence” Lie again.

“Grades?”

“Exceed Expectations” another lie.

“That’s not good enough for an auror”

“Watch me”

“Rosa!” her mother scolded. Lord Crabbe smirked in return.

“Fortune?”   


“More than enough” Rosa said vaguely.

“Specifically?”

“Two fifty.”

“Woah” came the comment from Vincent’s mouth. His mother nudged him in the ribs lightly.

“We’ll reserve her” Defeat.

“What?!” Rosa exclaimed. This was not the outcome she had expected nor wanted.

“Oh, shut it, child.” the man said. Rosa’s mother shifted in her seat, suddenly extremely interested in what the man had to say.

“I see she’s exceedingly fantastic at lying. To the Nott’s she’s a future Healer, with only O’s. To the Malfoy’s she’ll become an Unspeakable with barely passing grades. I believe the Zabini’s got the impression that you are a Hufflepuff. You rebel. You have a brain. No matter how disgusting I find you and your blood Miss Dawn, since the children will be pure I think you’re a perfect fit. Unless we find something better of course”

“You are proposing only a reservation?” Rosa’s mother butted into the conversation, the faked sweetness of her voice was now suddenly. Must’ve forgot it in her excitement.   
“For now.”

“We agree.” Rosa had never seen a more amazing smile gracing her mother’s face.   
“Perfect. Congratulations, Miss Dawn”

+++

“You sold me” Rosa said after the last green flame had left the fireplace signaling the departure of the Crabbe family.

“He’s the best you can do. Do you think someone like Nott would go for you?”

“I’m just having some fun whilst they’re wasting their time here… Dad could find a better half blood” She let the comment out and instantly regretted her lack of filter. Clearly her mask came down crashing.

“Come here, Rosa” her mother demanded, tone suddenly angry.

Rosa knelt next to her mother’s armchair, her face slightly lower than her mothers. The woman looked at her, eyes filled with disgust. She brought her hand back above her own head and then brought her open palm back to Rosa’s cheek with force. Rosa bit her teeth together not to make a sound of pain. A red splot was slowly but confidently forming on her cheek.

“Your mask is slipping, Rosa. Learn your place. You might disgust me and them, but you have to make sure to keep that boy.”

“Will do, mother”

+++

Rosa sat, her Gryffindor colored uniform already on, in a blissfully empty compartment as the Hogwarts Express pressed on its journey. Her mother never came to the platform with her, a fact that she had grown to accept. 

Even today, the fact saddened her. The platform was bustling, even though it was 30 minutes before the train was to depart. Mothers were crying, fathers were giving awkward hugs to their children. The students themselves were feeling bittersweet, first years were looking at the train wide-eyed. On her first year, seeing everyone’s families seeing their children off had broken her heart. The platform was simply filled with unconditional love, which of the receiving end Rosa had not belonged often during her lifetime. 

Rosa averted her gaze, deciding that she had hurt herself by watching the families for long enough now. She stared at the opposing empty seat. The compartment door slid open with a click, Rosa’s head snapped to see the person who dared to disturb her peace. She grimaced. 

“Don’t look so sad to see me again, Rosa Dawn” Draco Malfoy greeted with his trademark smirk. The pair had known each other since they were children, growing up in the same circles. But they were not friends, guite opposite to that really. Rosa’s bloodline was a wall between their friendship.

“Do you have to find me every year, Malfoy?”  she said with a sigh. 

“Of course.” he started, now leaning against the opening of the compartment, “--but I think congratulations are in order this year” Rosa bit the inside of her cheek. Pureblood rumours went around quickly. “Thank you” she answered, not meeting his deviant eyes. 

“You don’t sound very excited, Rosa Dawn. Greengrass was practically jumping when I reserved her” So, that’s why he was here. To brag about his reservation. 

“You sound as if it was your decision” Rosa clapped back, Malfoy’s smirk wavered. He crossed his arms swiftly. He ignored the statement.

“What do you think Vincent will say when he finds out that you’re not that excited?” Malfoy asked in a sing-songy voice. Rosa scoffed. “Oh, really? I don’t think Astoria would be super happy about you fraternizing with another lady on the market either, Malfoy” He rolled his eyes, knowing well that Rosa’s word against his was worth next to none. It was worth a shot.

“Charms homework, until Christmas.” she offered. Malfoy flashed a genuine smile. Rosa was on the top of class in charms, his homework would be perfectly finished. Rosa knew that the best thing she had to offer was her brain, as her name held no power in Malfoy’s eyes.

“Though I would love that, I’d so much rather watch you beg” 

“Excuse me?” for the first time, Rosa let her eyes meet the Slytherin’s dead on. Her look was one of disgust, whilst the boy looked thoroughly amused. “I’d rather have you on your knees, begging me not to break your reservation.”   
“It sounds to me as if you are  _ begging  _ to be hexed right now” Rosa’s glare at that moment could’ve rivaled You-Know-Who’s. “Oh, come on, Rosa Dawn. Have a sense of humour for once in your life.” he growled, not finding the situation as fun anymore (for a good reason; Malfoy was often receiving her skillful hexes, but he also feared her right hook). “--bring my homework to the library on Sunday” Malfoy practically slammed the compartment door shut. 

“Aye, aye, Captain” Rosa mumbled under her breath, as the Hogwarts Express started to move towards its destination.

 


	2. Silence Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter, again some background to Rosa's life.  
> Hope you like it.

“Miss Dawn.” Snape’s demanding voice echoed throughout the silent classroom. Rosa opened her eyes lazily and locked them with the greasy haired teacher. No matter how much everyone hated him and how much he despised her, Snape was Rosa’s favorite teacher in the entire school.

“Hmm?” she asked in a daze, as she straightened her back. Snape had caught her, face leaning against her hand, eyes closed, trying to find some sleep. She didn’t have a partner sitting next to her like the rest of the class did, no one to nudge her awake when she dozed off.

“Would you care to repeat what I just told the whole class?” the teacher had an evil smirk propped on to his mouth as his arms crossed. Challenging. Rosa sighed, she was used to being underestimated even by the teachers who knew her grades.

“‘Bezoar stems from goats stomach, which means it is _not_ a stone. You might want to remember that in your next exam, Longbottom. The mass serves as an antidote to many poisons, so if you find yourself incapable of concocting a proper antidote-- Miss Dawn’. I think you wanted to finish your sentence with ‘just shove some bezoar down your throats’, Professor” she recited, her voice and stare not wavering once. The other students tried to keep their snickers to themselves, Rosa saw many surprised faces and lifted eyebrows.

Of course. It wasn’t like people remembered her looks. How difficult is it to remember jet black wavy curls and the most emerald green eyes you have ever seen? Or, you know, her name? Not that Rosa was bitter.

“5 points from Gryffindor, Miss Dawn. Keep your eyes open, and hold onto that arrogance”  Rosa scoffed. She knew she got off easily, most likely because of her family’s history in Slytherin, but if someone like Potter would’ve done the same, the points reduced would’ve been at least double the amount.  To her dismay, her scoff did not go unnoticed by the teacher. She regretted her sometimes absent filter once more.

“Do you find my ruling funny, Miss Dawn?” he asked, head propped to the side, daring her to defy him. Rosa was in the mood to play. And since there was no proper punishment in sight she thought playing even when she lost, would be worth it.

“Hilarious, Professor” she answered, leaning forward in her table. Her fellow Gryffindors were cringing at her rebellion, whilst the Slytherins situated on the other side of the class were a bit too happy to see the scene unfold.

Sometimes Rosa wondered why she wasn’t a Slytherin. Sure, her father had been a Gryffindor but that had nothing to do with her own house. Her mother was a Slytherin after all. But as the years rolled by, Rosa saw more Slytherin qualities in her than Gryffindor. Yes, she was stupidly brave from time to time, but she was also cunning. Being a Slytherin would’ve also made her life fifteen times easier. And now she was being challenged by the Professor who hated her house.

“When using stones in healing--” the Professor thought he was throwing her a difficult question. Rosa flashed a toothy smile before she cut the question off.

“You add the stone first in healing potions, the minerals need time to actually melt into the potion. Of course you would never want to do that with the Confusing Concoctions, now would you, Professor?” Snape’s jaw opened by a centimeter in surprise. Rosa bit the inside of her cheek before opening her mouth again. “Looks like you forgot who’s the top in this class, Professor. Maybe you should try a Memory Potion, just remember to add the lily flower first” with that, Rosa closed her book and stood up. She already knew that Snape would never not kick her out after publicly shaming him. But she didn’t really care. It didn’t make a difference in anything than House points, she would still stay the top of the class. Just less popular in the teacher’s eyes.

“Miss Dawn--” he tried starting, with fire burning behind his eyes.

“Detention on Friday, after classes. Yeah, I know, Professor.” It wasn’t the first time she received detention from Snape after all. She flinged her bag onto her shoulder and swiftly walked out of the classroom. She could hear students whispering behind her, ‘who the hell is she’ being the most popular question in their lips.

Rosa was not very popular, she didn’t share her company with anyone really. She was on the receiving end of her housemate’s, Hermione Granger’s, jealousy. Rosa was extremely efficient with her schoolwork, but didn’t boast with it; which is why no one knew she was getting better grades than Granger. Granger only beat her in Muggle Studies, which the Gryffindor did not take kindly on. Rosa didn’t study with the same ferocity as Granger did, but kept on getting straight O’s. Other people from her house didn’t give her much attention, most of them didn’t know her name.

Slytherins were a completely different story. They knew her name, by reputation. Before Rosa, the Dawn’s were a powerful family, part of the sacred 28. The Slytherins respected her name, but her purity and thus Rosa herself, they despised. All because she just happened to be a bastard half-blood.

Rosa liked staying out of the limelight, but when called out she would stand her ground. It was the Slytherin in her that came to play from time to time, only to be amplified by her Gryffindor bravery.

In all of her classes she sat in the middle of class, always sitting next to some poor kid who was dumped by their other friends. Normally that was one of the members in the Golden Trio, most likely Granger to the both girls’ dismay. Pansy Parkinson frequented Rosa’s neighbouring seat quite often as well, since Malfoy and Zabini always sat together leaving the girl on her own. Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws used to just leave her alone. From time to time the Ravenclaw Patil twin (Rosa did not know which one she was) would sit beside the Gryffindor, but the occurrence was rare.

Today, to her delight, she only had to sit next to someone once; in Transfiguration, where McGonagall would never let her sit alone. The professor had babbled on about inter house and inner house unity since before her time in Hogwarts. Rosa didn’t dare to oppose her; McGonagall was the Head of her house after all.

Rosa stayed quiet. Rumours of her challenge against Snape were going around, and she was not finding the added attention very amusing. Out of experience though, tomorrow everyone would go back to not knowing her name. Not that she was bitter.

Rosa ate lunch and dinner alone. She loved casseroles and she more often than not reached for some blueberry pie at the end of dinner. Her favorite spot was at the very end of the table, she would get to it quickly and would escape the room quicker. It didn’t stop the Slytherins from throwing her nasty looks and occasional comments. Especially Crabbe was being very versatile today with his glares and frowns directed at the girl. Rosa could only wonder what kind of rumour Malfoy started spreading. She could only hope that her reservation would stay intact. Even the idea of it breaking shook her to her core.

Her thoughts were not long lived, since Granger sat opposite to her, together with Potter and Weasley as they were basically glued at the hip. Rosa furrowed her brows.

“Granger. Potter. Weasley.” she greeted, nodding at them slightly.

“You don’t need to address us so proper. We all call you Dawn anyway” the ginger boy blurted out, whilst shoving a heaping fork of food into his mouth. Granger visibly cringed. Rosa let out a small laugh.

“What’s my second name, _Ronald Bilius Weasley_?” she spat out his name, getting her point across. The boy’s face turned the same shade as his hair. He clearly didn’t have an answer to her question.

“The second name is Dawn, and that’s what you’ll call me”

“What’s your first name then?” The Weasley boy asked, genuinely curious.

“It’s not something you would need to know” As much as Rosa hated it, pureblood customs ran deep in her habits. The most prominent one being how people addressed her and how she addressed others. This trio didn’t deserve to call her by her given name. That right was reserved for her parents and friends. The latter she didn’t have; in the world 2 people called her Rosa. Anyone else who would call her that was blasphemy and a hit to her pride. Thus, she also addressed everyone properly.

Weasley’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Rosa of course knew how her mother would denounce his family. The Weasleys were quite clear on not following the pureblood customs, a fact that Weasley’s actions reflected.

“Why are you sitting with me?” Rosa asked, wanting to quickly change the topic of conversation. And, she was curious. She couldn’t remember the last time these three even spoke to her, let alone eat dinner with her. It’s not like they would want to be friends with her now, would it? Rosa felt sudden excitement with the idea of friends.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Granger started, gathering her Gryffindor courage; she looked wary, even scared of Rosa’s reaction.

“Shoot” Rosa encouraged, noticing her shyness. Granger looked at Potter who gave her a reassuring nod. “Would you tutor me?” Rosa choked on her casseroll. Her heart dropped with disappointment. It was a bit ridiculous expecting the Golden Trio wanting to actually associate with her anyway.

“Excuse me? _You_ want tutoring?” Rosa blinked a couple times. “You? Granger? Want tutoring?” she got in control of her facial movements, and plastered a neutral expression back onto her face.

“Yes. Please.” Granger said, feeling uncomfortable by Rosa’s reaction.

“Why?” Rosa blurred out. I mean, why would she of all people need tutoring?

“You were amazing at Potions. I know you’re great at most things. I would just like to know if… if you would help me out with those things” her voice was gaining in strength as she spoke.

“Don’t you have straight O’s?”

“Mostly… but you’re better” _Huh._

“So you want me to tell you how to be better than me?” Granger’s eyes went to the table. “Thought as much” the disappointment was imminent on her voice. “I won’t tutor you, Granger. If you have something you don’t understand just ask.” She finished, continuing poking at the food in front of her with her fork. It was clear to Granger that she was slightly upset.

“Oh. Okay. Thank you” she said. Potter and Weasley stood up, the latter picking up his plate. They started moving towards their own friends furter on the table. Granger didn’t budge. “‘Mione, come on” Potter called for her. Granger had a guilty look upon her face. She stood up, eyes still on Rosa. “Would you like to join us?” she said a bit too quickly. Rosa’s eyes twinkled slightly, as she turned her head at the group which Weasley and Potter just joined. Gryffindors were laughing together at one of the Weasley twins’ jokes. Rosa had a longing look in her eyes. Friendship was in front of her, the kind she hadn’t experienced before. Rosa turned to face Granger. She shook her head. That was not a group that would accept her.

Granger jumper over the bench and walked to join the group of Gryffindors, leaving Rosa onto her own company. She finished her food alone in silence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments, kudos or subscribe, or you know, don't. Whatever you do, have a lovely day and thanks for reading.


	3. Out of Your League

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the third installment to this little (or not so little) story I'm whipping up! Thank you for everyone who's reading!  
> This one is the shortest chapter of the 8 I have so far pre-written, so apologies for that. Longer ones coming soon!

“Where’s my homework, pureblood?” Malfoy spat out, looking down at Rosa’s sitting form. It was Sunday, Rosa was sitting in the far corner of the library out of habit. She didn’t look up to Malfoy, but continued to move his quill across the laid out parchment in front of her. 

She let out a huff. ‘Pureblood’ he had called her. One of his favorite nicknames for her, or in this case an insult. Calling her pure when everyone knew she wasn’t; a title she could never acquire. She was treated like a mudblood although she wasn’t; her grandmother on her father’s side was. Another fact seemingly everyone wanted to ignore. 

“Patience, Malfoy” she just said, still focusing on finishing the sentence she was writing. She knew her actions would anger his short temper; just what she wanted. Why not have a little fun if the other is making her do unpaid work? She kept on ignoring his Silver gaze.

“Do I need to remind you what I have over your head?” he growled at her, his sneer getting uglier by the second.

“Blackmail isn’t always the answer, Malfoy” Rosa answered in a sing-songy voice, now definitely making it known that she was indeed making fun of her "superior".

“So you want me to fuck up your life, is that it?” Rosa rolled her eyes; game over. She was doomed to lose anyway. She finished another sentence, blew the parchment dry and handed the 3 foot long piece, unrolled, to the blond boy. “That will get you an E. Might want to copy and paste it with your own handwriting though. Flitwick isn’t as lenient as Snape” she spoke as she got out a 4 foot long piece of parchment and started writing onto it, not giving the Slytherin an ounce of attention.

“What if I want an O?” the boy asked, rolling up the essay into a neat roll.

“Out of your league, Malfoy.” She just answered, before continuing, “I could hand you an essay that was worth a P, and you wouldn’t know the difference.” He shrugged.

“What can I say? I’d rather focus on my social life” he had an evil smirk plastered on his face. Rosa had a pretty good idea as to where this conversation was going.

“If you want to make a joke about my lack of social life, go for it. Actually, I think you’re going to continue that with a nice little nudge to how you’re going to be the CEO of Malfoy Enterprises and your huge inheritance. And then I’m going to remind you that my inheritance could  _ buy  _ that little company of yours. So shut up and happily accept that essay” Rosa ranted. Malfoy’s smirk didn’t waver.

“Don’t you have to marry a pureblood to get that inheritance of yours?” Rosa froze. “Why else would you live in a cottage? Isn’t that why you are oh-so-desperate to whore yourself--”

“Just leave, Malfoy” Rosa turned to glare at the boy, finally meeting his piercing eyes. Oh, she definitely lost that game. I mean, nothing he said was untrue.

“With pleasure” the bowed his head down sarcastically, winked, turned his heel and swaggered off. He was satisfied. Rosa swallowed audibly and continued doing her homework. Rosa was getting Fed up with him, he reminded him of the time when everything wasn't as shitty. Another reason why she rarely kept his Company. It was the feeling of pure safety that the blonde haired boy carried with his being that made Rosa tolerate his ugly remarks. Not long after Malfoy left, Granger joined her with a thousand questions which took her thoughts off of him. Thankfully. 

After 3 long and arguous hours of studying in the library (although Granger insisted on staying for another 2), Rosa started making her way towards her comfy bed in the Gryffindor Tower. She didn't know that she would bump into yet another Slytherin that day. She could tear her hair out of her scalp right about now.

“Watch yourself, Dawn” the threat came from behind her as she was walking alone towards her common room. She whipped herself around in the hallway she previously thought to be abandoned. Crabbe was walking towards her, anger showing all over his face. Rosa bowed her head in courtesy; her mother was serious when telling her to keep the boy's reservation. She intended on keeping that promise.

“Cut the bullshit, Dawn” he spat out, as he stopped a few feet away from her. Rosa wiped off the fake sweet smile from her face that her mother had taught her to perfect. “What is it, Crabbe?” she asked, referring to his previous threat. He grabbed her wrist a bit too hard.

“Keep away from Malfoy” he growled, looking down at the girl in disgust.

“What?” Rosa asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

“You must know that I can’t marry a whore, Dawn. Since you’re a mudblood,” his grip on her wrist tightened, Rosa clenched her jaw knowing it would bruise, “--you’re already on thin ice. Keep to yourself like a proper lady. Don’t make me feel more disgusted in your presence. You’re mine and mine alone” he yanked her so that their bodies were flush and forcefully brought his lips to hers. Rosa squirmed, and pushed the boy off of her. She quickly slapped him with her free hand.

“How dare you?!” she shouted, eyes wide. She wiped her mouth to the sleeve of her robes hastily. Crabbe let go of her wrist with a sour expression. “Get used to it. That is, if your really want that ring on your finger” he raised his eyebrows suggestively and walked off, too proud of himself. Rosa just stood still, disgusted. 

“Miss Dawn” Rosa closed her eyes in grimace as she heard the pink toad calling for her. Umbridge was definitely the worst teacher she had ever had (yes, she would prefer Voldemort possessed Quirrell over her). The toad didn’t teach but rather advertised the Ministry. 

“Professor Umbridge” Rosa knew that her fake smile would work on her. Though she did not have the faintest of idea what the teacher wanted of her. It wasn’t curfew yet. 

“Would you join me in my office, Miss Dawn?” the pink lady asked with a giggle.

“Have I done something wrong, Professor?” she asked through her teeth. There were rumours of her punishments, even though the term had just started a week ago. She already had a reputation; sweet on the outside, but vile and slimy on the inside. 

“Of course not, my dear. Just some tea” she explained with a toothy smile. Rosa nodded, not believing one word that left the Professor’s sickly mouth. She followed the lady to her office.

_ Goddamn.  _

Dumbfounded was a good way of describing Rosa’s face when she stepped into Umbridge’s office. Pink. With cats. Lots of cats. 

_ Fucking hell. _

Rosa watched as Umbridge sat down behind her mahogany table putting heaping teaspoons of sugar into her porcelain cup. “How do you take your tea?” she asked, looking at the teacup in front of Rosa. “I’d rather not, thank you. Caffeine at this time of day…” truthfully, Rosa’s lack of trust made her not want to consume anything the teacher offered her. Umbridge let out a small ‘hmph’ in return. She took a sip of her own tea.

“How is your mother these days?” she said elegantly. Rosa failed to keep her glare to herself. 

“She’s fine” she said, her mouth curving into a forced smile. 

“We were friends during our days at Hogwarts, you see. She asked me to… keep an eye on you” she ended the sentence with a small giggle. Rosa swore in her thoughts. “Which is why I would suggest you to write some lines for me today” Rosa’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion once more. 

“I’m sorry, did I miss something? Why am I writing lines?” She asked, looking for clarity.

“Here,” Umbridge reached into one of her drawers and got out a piece of parchment and a (surprise surprise) pink quill and placed them in front of her. “I saw the way you treated Mr. Crabbe. Madilyn told me how he is you last chance in getting your inheritance. I encourage you not to delve in that kind of behaviour Miss Dawn. You were wrong to strike him. Thus, I would like you to write ‘I will learn my place’” the woman looked her square in the eye with her sweet eyes. Rosa bit the inside of her cheek and grabbed the quill. Those words were ones that Umbridge had not chosen herself. Rosa was sure of it. She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off, “You won’t need any ink” the teacher said.

_ I will learn my place. _

_ I will learn my place. _

_ I will lean my place. _

_ I will learn my place. _

_ I will-- SHIT! _

Rosa’s eyes widened as she felt as if knives were dancing on the top of her hand. As she continued on writing the sentence, she watched as the words carved onto her skin. Blood trickled down her hand in small droplets. “I believe that the message has been internalized” Rosa said with a shaky voice. She sounded scared, which she hated. “Off you go then. But Miss Dawn. Know that I’ll be watching you” Rosa left without saying goodbye. 

_ This bitch is insane. _

Rosa didn’t walk. She ran. The idea that that torturing maniac would report back to her mother scared the living shit out of her. So she ran away from her, trying to ignore the heartbeat she could feel on her hand. She was panting, still running, not knowing where to. She turned the corner, and bumped into someone, falling flat on the ground. 

“Watch where you’re going, Rosa Dawn” of course it had to be Malfoy. His brows furrowed when she didn’t clap back at him. He reached his hand for her. She took it. He hoisted her up. His eyes moving down to her bloody hand. “Who did that to you?” he gestured at the wound.

“Stay away from me, Malfoy” she said, panting. She tried to walk past him, but he stepped in front of her, blocking her way. “Please” she added. 

“Dawn’s don’t beg” he sensed that something was wrong. He almost sounded concerned.

“Malfoy’s don’t offer help” this time Rosa shoved him out of her way, and speed walked straight to the Gryffindor Common Room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave and comment, kudos or bookmark, your support is very much apprechiated! Or just simply have a nice morning/day/evening!


	4. "Marks"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little trigger warning, there is a lot of description of scars and blood if that bothers you, I would turn away. No violence though.
> 
> Also, thank you for everyone who's leaving kudos/bookmarking/commenting; it makes my day to see that people are enjoying my writing.

Rosa scrubbed like her life depended on it. Snape’s detentions tended to be the worst, after Umbridge’s of course. 25 cauldrons she had to clean, without the help from magic. So she scrubbed like her life depended on it. 

Snape had left the classroom five minutes after she had started with her task. He had “more important matters to attend to”. Alone, in the dungeons, scrubbing. What a life. 

Rosa hoisted the cauldron she had just finished cleaning next to the 16 other clean ones and turned her attention to the next dirty one. Burnt brown gunk iced it’s inside. Rosa cursed under her breath and started scrubbing, but not before taking her robe off and rolling up the sleeves of her pristine uniform shirt.

23 dirty cauldrons later Snape glided (glode?) back into the room, arms crossed. Rosa didn’t stop scrubbing. She could feel Snape’s interrogating gaze looking at her from behind, judging her  work. She heard him walk closer, stopping just behind her. She kept on cleaning the cauldron, trying to ignore the teacher.

Suddenly she felt a finger hook onto her collar and drawing it backwards, choking her slightly. Rosa froze. She leaned back snapping her head at the teacher. Snape moved his hand, walked and sat behind his table, eyes never leaving Rosa’s. 

“They’re going to get infected” Snape said, monotone and cold as always. Rosa swallowed. She blinked a few times, now blankly staring forward at nothing. “What?” she asked, putting down the dirt covered toothbrush next to the half-clean cauldron with a slightly shaking hand. 

“Your shirt has bled through” Rosa let out a gasp, trying to turn her head to see the prominent red stains on her shirt, failing. She looked wide eyed back at Snape, who hadn’t moved.

“Madam Pomfrey has dittany that should help--”

“No!” she suddenly exclaimed cutting the teacher off. “I mean… I’d rather not get my-- self in trouble.” she didn’t trust him enough to tell the whole truth. He noticed, raising an eyebrow. 

“I do not possess such a potion. All my vials are in the Hospital Wing, I cannot help you, Miss Dawn…” the man considered for a moment. He decided, opening his mouth to speak once more  “But I can tell you that the yearly health inspection is next week. You might want to brush up on your glamour spells, I’d rather not have you go through my storage this year. You’re dismissed.” Rosa shakily nodded, quickly standing up and putting her robe on, covering up the stained uniform shirt. She exited the classroom swiftly, more thankful to Snape than she had ever been.

The yearly health inspection was her biggest enemy in keeping her secrets safe. For the first 2 years in the school, Rosa simply skipped out on the whole thing by pretending to be sick. On third year, Madame Pomfrey herself came to warn her of the consequences if she didn’t show up. She had nicked a potion for smoothing and repairing skin fractures from Snape’s storage and done the same last year. It was made evident that her old plan was now out of the picture. She cursed herself for not teaching herself glamour spells.

As she stepped into the common room, her one simple goal was to crash into her bed and sleep until next week. But her thoughts and dreams were quickly interrupted by Granger standing up from by the fireplace and flashing her a toothy smile. Rosa groaned, but walked to the girl, crashing down onto one of the free armchairs lazily instead. Potter and Weasley were sitting down as well.

“What do you need help with?” Rosa asked followed by a yawn. Granger sat back down, clearing her throat. Rosa now noticed the books the other girl had piled onto the coffee table. Her eyebrows shot up. 

“Umm… I was having some trouble with the Potions homework. I just can’t come up with the proper recipe” Granger’s eyes were scanning through all of her homework, looking for the ones she wanted to prioritize. “If by ‘some trouble’ meaning that it’s not worth an O but an E” Weasley joked, Potter laughing together with him. 

Rosa extended her hand, silently asking for the parchment onto which Granger had scribbled her homework onto. Snape had been quite evil; asking for students to come up with their own recipes for any given use. For people who weren’t at an O level at the subject, the brief would take hours upon hours to complete. Granger quickly gave Rosa the parchment. She read it through quickly, she kept her smirk to herself.

“So, it’s an… alternative way of making water?” Rosa looked at the now horrified Granger. The Gryffindor opened and closed her mouth couple times. Rosa had to bite the inside of her cheek not to burst into laughter. Weasley’s eyes widened. “You’re telling me that our Hermione completely  _ failed _ ?” he exclaimed. Clearly this didn’t happen often.

“Well, no. I can see what you tried to do. A less potent pepperup, right? Basically a caffeine shot but more long lasting, less addictive than a pepperup, yeah?” Granger nodded. “Well… The bicorn horn and the gillyweed powder cancel each other out, their protein structures are way too different. And if you don’t cook up the powder first the whole thing is going to explode on you. After which you have… coal flavoured water. Even if the powder’s cooked, it’s going to explode. I would change it to like  _ really _ young mandrake roots, to keep to potency down. Also just regular caffeine works. I mean, as it is, you’ll get an easy E--”   
“Even if it’s flawed like that?!” Granger exclaimed. As Rosa went on, she got paler and paler, realizing the faults in her theory. 

“Making a new potion is not easy. You have to take in to count everything. Yours is not bad, though the idea is not… new.” Rosa gave the parchment back to her housemate. Granger’s face turned suddenly sour. “What are you doing then?” she asked.

“An antidote to boils caused by dragon pox” Granger’s jaw dropped open. Everyone knew that dragon pox was treatable, but getting rid of the boils took a long ass time. Rosa thought she came up with an idea that would work that problem out. Ambitious. She should be a Slytherin. 

“Granger can I ask you something?” Rosa suddenly asked, remembering that technically she owed her. The girl shrugged. “Do you know glamour spells?” 

“I mean kind of… what kind of ones?” Granger looked slightly confused.

“Covering up s-- stuff” Granger noticed Rosa’s hesitation. Rosa looked around making sure they weren’t being listened to.    


“I don’t-- Are you ok?” Rosa huffed and briskly stood up. “Wait, Dawn, what do you want to cover up?” Granger pressed on, concerned.

“It’s nothing, really. I’m fine. I’ll head to bed” Rosa knew that her fake smile would go through to the girl. It worked on most people who didn’t know her. 

“Thank you. For the help” Granger said before Rosa retired to her room.

She knew she had to come up with a plan. And she did. Reluctantly. 

So there she was, running in the dungeons, trying to do just that. Because what do you do when you need help but don’t trust anyone? Bribing.

Her Herbology class had just ended and she was following Malfoy. He would understand. Maybe. The Slytherins were on their way to their common room. Rosa had no idea where that was.

“Malfoy!” She finally shouted when the Slytherins managed to start getting a little too far from her. The blonde boy turned around, brows furrowed in confusion. “Rosa Dawn?” he questioned. He waved his friends goodbyes with a crude comment, as they continued merrily their way to the common room. Rosa took a quick look of the group, quite glad that Crabbe was absent. Malfoy walked towards her until they were face to face.

“Hey.” Rosa greeted, which just added to Malfoy’s confusion.

“What do you want?” he asked, voice cold.

“Straight to the point then. Um… well… you offered help”

“Last time I saw you, you begged me to stay away from you” his eyebrows were now raised.

“Yes,  _ but  _ you technically did offer help--”   


“I wasn’t aware-”   


“I need your help” Rosa said suddenly, changing her tone to something that Malfoy hadn’t heard from the girl before. “You offered it. Is that still available?” she couldn’t make eye contact, ashamed of what she was about to ask. Malfoy’s expression softened slightly.

“What is it?” he just asked.

“I… I heard you know glamour spells?”

“I do, why?”   


“Mind if you do couple on me?”

“What?”

“There’s a health inspection tomorrow?”

“Why so worried then?”

“I… I need to cover up some marks... that can be… seen in the wrong way” Malfoy’s eyes darkened. He bit his lips in annoyance.

“Rosa Dawn--”

“Are you helping me or not?”

“Why should I? In my book I owe you shit.”   


“I’ll… I’m assuming my notes aren’t enough. And I’m already doing your Charms work. So… I’ll do your homework. For the rest of the year. Meet me up in the library each week, I’ll do it all. And you can spread any rumour about me you want. Is that enough for you?” Malfoy rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Please. I’ll beg on my knees if--”

“Stop” Rosa closed her mouth mid-sentence. Malfoy thought about it for a moment before he nodded slightly; the homework bribery was enough. Malfoy motioned for her to follow him, and took her to a sizeable (most likely because it was mostly empty) broom closet. It had a small window, lighting the room. Rosa had a weird thought on why Malfoy knew the locations of broom closets so well.

“Sit” Malfoy ordered, taking out one of the wooden stools that was leaning against the wall. He took out his wand and cast a silencing spell and locked the door. He took a deep breath.

“Where are the marks?” he asked politely.

“Back, arms and legs”

“Rosa Dawn--” Malfoy turned his tone to warning. He was catching on.

“Don’t question them”

“Show me” he said.

Rosa took off her robe, putting it down to the dusty floor.

“I... “ Rosa started, realizing that she had to be half naked in front of the blonde boy.

“Not the first time I’m seeing a bra, Rosa Dawn” he laughed a little. Rosa started unbuttoning her crisp white shirt, and shifted it off her shoulders. She now sat in front of him, top half bare her privacy only covered by her black bra. Malfoy was facing her, so he could only see the few slashes in her arms, there were a couple in her stomach. He clenched his jaw.

“How did you get those?”

“Did them myself”

“Sure about that?” Malfoy tried lightening the mood as he moved his wand and the scars in her arms disappeared. Rosa looked at her arms, a twinkle in her eyes. It had been a while since she had seen her skin clear and perfect, it never seemed to amaze her. “Wow” she just said, amazed. “Thank you” she whispered.

Malfoy walked around her, to see her back. Rosa could feel her heartbeat in her ears and welling in her eyes. She didn’t like the fact that Malfoy would be seeing that part of her, but what other choice did she have? Malfoy wouldn’t talk; even he wasn’t that cruel. At least that’s what Rosa told herself. 

“Motherfucker!” Rosa flinched. He circled back to her and knelt in front of her. Their faces were now level. His voice didn’t quiver as he spoke, but something about his tone was shaking.

“What the fuck is that, Rosa Dawn?” he asked, there was a fire behind his eyes.

Rosa’s back had seen too much damage for her years. It was covered in slashes big and small. Her newer ones were surrounded by dried blood and ugly yellow bruises. There was almost no skin on her back that was not afflicted. There were thin slashes that looked like the source of whips, ugly little gashes from belt buckles and thick ones that were the makings of canes or bats hitting her back. Those ones were surrounded by bruised skin and dried blood. Some of them were infected, pursing out disgusting yellow pus. 

Whoever had done this to her knew what they were doing. None of the scars would be visible under her uniform. Nothing went past her wrist, ankle or a conservative neckline. The scars were never to be seen my anyone. Whoever did this to her made sure of that. 

“It’s her, isn’t it? She beats you”   


“Malfoy--”

“Don’t lie to me” he said, voice warning. Rosa looked at his concern and anger filled eyes and caved. “It’s mostly the elves”

“Working under her orders. Fucking hell, Rosa!”

“Don’t call me that” she scolded him.   


“Seriously! How long has she been  _ destroying  _ you?! Huh? Since you were 6?”   


“Seven.” she said honestly, the memory of her first beating invading her mind suddenly.

“Fuck me... And you want me to get rid of them for a day or two so she can continue doing that?!”

“She does it for a reason, Draco”   


“Don’t start that, Rosa Dawn”   


“What? The truth is that I deserve it. I do. She’s the head of the house--”   


“I’ll kill her” he said through gritted teeth.

“Don’t even joke about that, Draco.” she said seriously.

“Give me one good reason as to why I should help you. This is… I can’t believe she’s  _ ruining  _ you”

“What do you think she’ll do to me if… if her reputation is ruined again? Do you think she’ll just happily disown me? Fucking hell, she’ll kill me, Draco. She’s never going to stop this so why even try?” she looked Draco dead in the eye. He considered.

“Just this once. I will never help her again” Rosa let out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding.

“You know this is the one thing I hate about the community… Destroying the futures of it… I can’t believe she would sink so--” Malfoy stood up as he talked, and went back to look at her back. He couldn’t finish his rant seeing the state of her again. He took another deep breath.

The sight of the new and old scars hurt; he wasn’t completely heartless after all. He ran his fingers along one of the older ones, still clear as day on her skin. Rosa shivered. Malfoy waved his wand, the scars disappearing under his fingers.

“How bad are your legs?” he asked, voice now smaller than before.

“Not as bad as the back. Worse than the arms.” she answered.   


“Stand.” he ordered. Rosa turned to face him, her eyes puffy, keeping in tears of shame. Draco took a step forward. A little too close to her now. Rosa took an awkward step back, intimidated by his anger.

“That bitch--”   


“Don’t Draco.” Draco only now noticed how Rosa had been addressing him with his given name.

“She’ll pay for this, mark my words, Rosa Dawn.” he promised in a moment of kindness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment/bookmark/kudos, or just have a lovely day~


	5. Childhood Terrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, there's another chapter for you giving you a bit more insight to Draco's and Rosa's relationship.

“Psst!” Draco’s voice echoed through the hallways into Rosa’s ears. She laughed - no, giggled - and ran to the boy. The windows gave no light to the flamboyant hallways, but floating candles illuminated the Manor eerily. Rosa wasn’t a big fan of the place; she often told her mother that, requesting that her friends would come to their house to play. Of course, she was denied. 

This time around though, Draco and her had come up with a perfect plan; she would floo to his house so that she could play with him during nighttime. I mean, what’s the point in playing ‘Royal Warriors’ if you couldn’t go on an adventure during the night? And Rosa had mostly talked Draco into it; her 7th birthday would be next month and she demanded a present, even if it meant that Draco wouldn’t get her a new stuffed dragon this year.

They were running around the Manor, his parents already asleep and elves gone to their chambers. The children were on their way to slay the evil dragon and its rider to save the kingdom when Draco knocked over a suit of armor. 

“We have to kill the guards, Rosa!” he whisper-shouted at the girl. He had a wooden sword in his hand, hitting the armor a couple times with it. Rosa had a chocolate wand in hers, swishing it a couple times over the fallen ‘guard’. 

They continued along the hallway, taking down together 4 of the guards that stood still on the side of the hallway. They laughed in unison, doing ridiculous jumps and defensive moves to defend themselves from the guard. “Watch out Draco! There’s another one!” Rosa quickly flicked her wand and shouted out a ‘poof’ sound effect. Draco turned to her, a grateful smile on his face. He ran at the 5th armour, bringing it down with a clang. 

They ran forward, Draco stopping in the middle of the hallway, looking up at the ceiling. He pointed at the silver sculpture of a dragon on the ceiling. Rosa gasped at the motionless beast. Draco took her hand, trying to end her fear of the beast. “Bring it down, Rosa!” he said, letting go of her hand. 

Rosa moved her wand that was melting onto her hand, at the ceiling, continuing with her expert sound effects. “Another guard!!” Draco shouted and jumped another armour, that clang down noisily. 

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!” the roar echoed through the hallway. Both of the children gasped, turning around. They saw their destruction throughout the hallway; curtains were off their hinges, armours destroyed, even the paintings seemed mortified. But at the end of the hallway was the most scariest thing young Rosa had ever seen in her life, even more than the beast at the ceiling. Lucius Malfoy, in his night robes, face red from anger. Draco didn’t seem faced.

“Daddy, we’re playing warriors!” he exclaimed with a witty smile on his face. He noticed that his mother was now also approaching the scene. 

“Warriors? After midnight?! Tell me son, who is your colleague?” the man spat out, tone stern and disappointed. Lucius had gathered himself elegantly, the redness in his face fading and replaced by a sneer. Draco let out a small giggle, thinking that his father was the dumbest person he had ever met. You would expect your father to know who your best friend in the world was! “Daddy, you know Rosa!” 

“The Dawn child?” Lucius turned to his wife, questioning. Narcissa nodded, turning around and walking off. When Lucius turned back to the children he had the most ugliest scowl on his face. “Draco you are not to play with lowlives such as this girl.” Draco’s smile disappeared and was switched into a miniature version of his father’s angry face,

“You can’t call her that, Daddy! She’s--”

“The child of  _ a beast _ , Draco. A  _ half breed _ . Her ancestors are muggles. That makes her a mudblood” Rosa’s face contorted from anger to sadness. She didn’t really know how to react to the man’s words. She didn’t like the way he was talking of her daddy. Draco was now looking at the girl, clearly conflicted. “But, dad--”   
“No, Draco. You are not to see this disgusting thing again. And that is me being kind to you, young man. I haven’t even asked how  _ it  _ turned up under my roof” 

“But--” Draco tried debating his father. He hadn’t dared to do so often before. But Rosa was his friend. And his father had told that he should stick up for his friends. 

“DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY!” the old man roared, “You will not talk back to me in my house, do you understand, young man?” Draco’s sight went guiltily to the floor. He gave his father a tiny nod. 

Rosa didn’t know how to feel about the whole thing. Draco decided to stand on his father’s side of things, a slight feeling crumbling in the pit of Rosa’s stomach started growing. Her mother had often explained to Rosa why she wasn’t allowed to have one-to-one playdates with the other pureblood kids because of her ‘bastard of a lying father’. But Draco didn’t think like the others did, right? He had promised her on his warriors honor that he would stay her best friend forever. She had made the same promise. The nod he gave his father broke his side of the bargain.

“I want you to tell her that she is a disgusting creature. That she is a repulsive half breed that you will never want to talk to again, because she is far too below you to be given the opportunity of acquiring your friendship. That she doesn’t deserve it because she is as good as the mud you stump on” Lucius’ cruel words went straight to Rosa’s heart. She let out a small sob. Draco didn’t speak. “Now, Draco. Tell her.” Draco let out a sob, shaking his head, refusing his father’s commands, trying to keep his promise to his friend.. “Draco, tell her now.” he was so scared of his father’s tone. The whole man terrified the boy. Lucius had never laid his hands on his son, but he had a powerful presence that demanded respect. Thus, his son was scared of not giving him just that. Draco’s lip quivered as he talked.  “I-- Rosa--”   
“Dawn. Call her with the name you’re supposed to, son, her given name alone should never leave your lips” his father gave him notes, as if his demand didn’t break the younger blonde’s heart.

“Rosa-Dawn… you’re-- a disgusting--” Draco struggled, not wanting to hurt his friend. He looked at his father, begging for the permission to stop reciting the words, but the older man was cheerleading for him to continue. Rosa on the other hand was audibly and visibly crying, eyes puffy and red. She had dropped her chocolate wand, the evidence of it was smeared upon her palm. “--creature… I don’t want to t-talk to you-- ever a-gain because--” Draco took a small pause to let out another sob, “you’re far too-o below me… You-u should not-- be my fri-friend because-e you’re as good-d as the mud-d I-- I on the gr-round” By the time he finished, Rosa was proper crying, sniffling now and again. 

“Rosa Dawn, how dare you sneak out of the house!” came a shriek from Madilyn Dawn from behind Lucius. Rosa cried more, actually happy to see her mother. “I’m so sorry, Lucius. This won’t happen again, I assure you. These two shan’t meet again before their time at Hogwarts, you have my word.” Madilyn said to the man, before she speed walked to the child and lifted her into her arms, though there was no warmth in the gesture. Rosa’s hand stained her mother’s robes, an act that just swell her eventual punishment.

 

The next time the children saw each other was 4 years later, in the Hogwarts Express like Rosa’s mother had promised. They acknowledged each other. ’Draco’ was now ‘Malfoy’ and ‘Rosa’ was now ‘Rosa Dawn’; it was Malfoy’s way of rebelling. Her father’s orders were clear; ‘her given name  _ alone _ should never leave your lips’. He had found a loophole to remind Rosa of the care he still had for her. If addressing her like a friend was not permitted he would address her as a friend and as a stranger at the same time. 

But she had to go and get herself sorted into bloody Gryffindor. And with all the Slytherins recognizing her surname, she painted a huge target into her back. At least her House made it easier for him to hate her. 

 

On her first year, the Slytherins mostly left Rosa alone. There were some ugly names shouted towards her, but Harry Potter being part of the first years was a bigger target than she was. Rosa did not connect with anyone though. It wasn’t because no one in Gryffindor didn’t try. Hermione Granger seemed eager to be her friend for a while but stopped after Halloween. Neville Longbottom seemed nice as well, but Rosa stayed away from him after finding out that he was a pureblood. What stopped the awkward boy from suddenly telling her that she was worthless because of her blood status? Thus, Rosa kept her own company, keeping her eye on everyone around her. 

In her second year the Slytherins finally noticed her, most likely because she started going to pureblood events again (after getting Lucius Malfoy’s permission). Of course, with her luck muggleborns were being attacked. Malfoy had come to ‘talk’ with her, whilst other Slytherins bribed the Fat Lady to leave her post for the night. That was the night when Rosa let go of all the trust she had for the blonde Slytherin; the friend she once had experience a torturous death.

“Your mudblood self is getting killed tonight, Dawn!” someone had shouted at her and left her alone, lost in the stoney hallways. Every single sound she heard that night she flinched at. Everywhere she walked, she was terrified even though she isn’t muggleborn. The stories of the student killing monster from the Chamber of Secrets was enough to soak her face with tears. And when she finally made it back to the Gryffindor common room, the Fat Lady was gone, locking her outside until dawn. That started a Slytherin tradition: once a year the Slytherins would prank her, or in better words, terrorize her. 

Third year, they managed to lock Rosa out of the castle after a Hogsmeade trip. She was again, left out on her own, this time at the mercy of dementors. She hyperventilated as her happiness was sucked out of her little by little. Thankfully, before sunrise, Lupin had come around and saved her from the monsters. Rosa hadn’t gone to Hogsmeade after that. 

In fourth year, after visiting Hagrid, the Slytherins weren’t even discreet about it. They dragged her to the black Forest and tied her into a tree. It took her about 15 seconds to notice that she was on the range to get burned by a dragon. This time, one of the older Weasley’s, who’s name she had forgotten, let her go, not commenting on her tear stained face. Rosa didn’t visit Hagrid after that. The yearly occurrence was accompanied by year round insults and knocking downs. But she kept her mouth shut, everytime. The Snakes knew that also, which is why they liked doing it so much. 

Rosa was disappointed every year after hearing that Malfoy had been the mastermind behind the pranks. She could only wonder what she did as a 6-year-old to make him hate her so much that he wanted her dead. 

She obviously knew the answer: she was born muddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a kudos/comment/bookmark or just have a lovely day! Thank you for reading!


	6. It's a Tradition, After All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone for continuing to read this story, I do appreachiate it a lot!
> 
> \- V.

Rosa started growing wary; something was up. Umbridge was gaining power, the Golden Trio was obviously up to something and so were the Slytherins. And, it now being November, Rosa had to glance over her shoulder constantly. Halloween time was when the Slytherins had liked pranking her for the past 2 years. Saying that she was scared was an understatement. 

Umbridge had been unbelievably annoying, having the most ridiculous excuses to get her to ‘have tea’ in her office. “We need to discuss your future” and “I’d like for us to chat about your father” were a few of her favorites. Rosa felt like the words ‘I will learn my place’ were carved a little too deep into the top of her hand. There was no way that the scar would ever heal. She would die with those words on top of her skin.

To Rosa’s dismay, Granger noticed the words after a good 6 sessions of writing the words over and over again into her hand. She had been reaching for a book on the table in front of the fireplace. Granger in turn, reached for Rosa’s hand taking it to hers and reading the scar.

“Not you too?” Granger moaned, grimacing over the words. Rosa swiftly yanked her hand back. The rest of the trio was suddenly interested in her. Until then, they acknowledged her, but didn’t see her as a friend. They would study together out of Granger’s insistence every couple of days. 

“What does yours say?” Weasley mumbled, curious. Rosa didn’t like him much, though he was funny from time to time. He was quite clueless. “But it’s not like Harry’s… your’s is deeper” Granger thought out loud. Rosa started to gather her things. She had just conveniently finished Malfoy’s homework. 

“How many times has she made you do that?” Granger asked, finally catching on. She was shifting as she sat, growing uncomfortable as Rosa was making her leave.

“A couple” her shrugged. She crammed her books into her bag. “Dawn, don’t-- you don’t need to shut us out” Granger’s voice was labeled with concern. Rosa scoffed, rolling her eyes at the other girl’s naïvete. 

“Last time I checked I’m your study helper, Granger. Not your friend.” Rosa stood up and flinged her bag onto her shoulder. “I’ll be in the library if you need to know what 2+2 is” throwing an insult at her was low of her, she knew that. But her words were true; since first year Granger had shown no interest in being friends with her. 

Rosa walked out of the Gryffindor common room, towards the library. She slowed her pace down after the staircases, being sure that Granger hadn’t followed her. She sighed, trying to relax a bit. OWL’s were going to be easy-ish for her, but that didn’t mean that she wouldn’t stress over them. Her mother had expectations after all. 

Her relaxation stopped quick when she saw  _ the _ gang of Slytherins walking towards her. She stopped walking immediately, and did a shift U-turn. She knew that she was doomed though. 

“Mudblood!” she heard who she recognized as Pansy Parkinson’s voice. She increased her pace, not wanting to sink so long as to run. “You know you can’t run, right?” one of them, probably Goyle, shouted. “Come on, Rosa! It’s a tradition after all!” that shout clearly belonged to none other than Vincent Crabbe. She continued walking. “Rosa Dawn” She kept on walking. “Stop or we’re going to stop you” Malfoy said, not shouting, but confident. 

Rosa sighed and stopped, not feeling like being hit with a petrificus totalus. She turned around to look at the group. It was the usual group; Crabbe and Goyle together with Malfoy, Theodore Nott and Pansy Parkinson with an older student Rosa didn’t know the name of. She swallowed and shrugged in defeat. She tried not to look like she was terrified.

“Where are you going to lock me up this year? I don’t think anything will top up a dragon” The group scoffed in unison. “We know” Nott snarled. He signaled for her to follow them. She knew that the opportunity was rare; if she refused she would be levitated to the destination. So she walked, being escorted in the middle of the group to their place of choice for the year.

They didn’t walk for long. Rosa was expecting for them to go outside, that was the trend in the past years after all. But they stopped in the dungeons, and walked into an empty room. Yes, room. It was probably a classroom years ago, but now it was untouched and abandoned. In the middle, a single chair sat. Rosa gathered up her Gryffindor courage and confidently sat down. She heard Pansy’s ugly giggle echoing through the walls quickly followed by the sound of the door closing. Rosa’s back was towards it. 

She felt her hand and legs being magically bound; hands behind her back, legs to the chairlegs, there was no escape. She had her brave face on; truthfully she could hear her heartbeat in her ears. “So you decided to beat me up this year?” she felt uncomfortable not knowing what was going to happen to her. She heard snickers from behind her and saw smirks on the Snakes’ faces who were standing in front of her. 

“We’re not here to beat you up, Dawn” Goyle snickered at her. The whole group was now standing in a half moon in front of her, eyeing her like she was prey to be killed, except for Malfoy. He was in the far left corner, looking a little too miserable compared to his fellow Housemates. Rosa averted her eyes from him. Her breath was slowly but surely turning shaky of the anxiety of waiting what was going to happen.

“We came up with a better idea for the year. One prank on first half and a second one in spring. Bigger and better, you see.” the older Snake explained, who Rosa nicknamed Lolly since she had a lollipop between her red lips.

“You have to upgrade at some point” Rosa mumbled under her breath. “Exactly. You get the point! We’re just easing you into it today, Dawn” Lolly said, a predatory look in her eyes. “Goyle, tally says that you start” Parkinson spat out, excited. Goyle swore under his breath.

Goyle stepped forward whilst the others scattered around the room, sitting down on the floor or leaning against the wall, seemingly not so interested in her anymore. “10 minutes per person. May the games begin” Lolly seemingly reminded everyone, swishing her wand to put a timer on, which started counting down from 10 minutes. Rosa was extremely confused. Goyle was staring down at her, kneeling down to have their eyes level. He was a bit too close for Rosa’s liking, not that she had a say in the matter. 

“Worthless.” he just said, smirking whilst he stared into her eyes. “You know that right?” he tilted his head. “You’re worth nothing. A disgusting, dirty, half breed.” Rosa looked at him nothing but confused with a split of anger. “How about you look in the mirror, troll?” she spat at him. The boy ignored her. “And… friendless. Even your precious Gryffindorks hate your existence. Even they see how fucking disgusting you are.” the ten minutes went on like that. Goyle spitting the most vile insults at her, and her looking at him confused sometimes throwing another insult at the boy. “Time!” Lolly shouted. Goyle swore. 

“What is this about?” Rosa asked, not understanding the idea of the game. “Shut up, Parkinson you’re next” Goyle spat. Parkinson untangled her arms from Malfoy, who she had been glued to since the hallway. The clock started ticking down again. Parkinson bent to get level with Rosa.

“Hey there mudblood” she greeted, a sickly sweet smile on her pugface. “Let’s talk about your dad for a hot minute, shall we?” Rosa visibly stiffened. “No one know who he is… I think you don’t know who he is… the only thing anyone seems to know is that… he’s a mudblood, and a beast of some sort. I would probably say he’s a troll. Would explain a lot of things” she started, the corner of her mouth twitching when she noticed Rosa reacting to her words. 

“You would think that a father would be there for their daughter. Though I see why not, as having a worthless piece of shit like you… a saint would abandon their child if they had you. But your father… the daddy Dawn… probably is a manslut isn’t he?” at that  Rosa tried lunging at the girl, getting everyone else’s attention. Sadly, being constricted by ropes, she couldn’t move properly. She made the decision quickly and spat into the girls face. 

Parkinson shrieked half in disgust and half in victory, taking bows and the others were applauding. She wiped Rosa’s saliva off of her face with a toothy grin on her pugface. The clock stopped counting. “Parkinson at the lead!” Lolly announced. “My turn” the girl said, smiling to herself. Rosa got the catch; they were looking for a reaction. Lolly looked down at Rosa, tilting her head, assessing her as another 10 minutes started counting down.

“It would be easier to just talk about your purity or your lack of friends, but I don’t like easy, Dawn. Because when you take all that back what are you? Absolutely fucking nothing.” The ten minutes passed with Lolly calling her vile names, ‘worthless’ being a favorite of hers just like Goyle. Rosa quickly understood that the others had placed a silencing spell on the chair’s surrounding area, so that no one could cheat by hearing how they got a reaction from her. Lolly did not get one. “Bitch” she said as she backed away. “Crabbe.” she summoned. He stepped up to the plate.

“I still can’t believe you actually think I’m going through with the reservation. You know, you’re probably going to get a nice letter tomorrow. See, ‘Kenzie over there is much better bride than you, so we’re jumping straight into an engagement.” Rosa violently bit the inside of her cheek. The boy was lying there was no doubt about it. Rosa kept telling herself that. 

“It’s actually quite funny. You believing that I would ever lay my hands on you. When I kissed you I wanted to vomit. Think of the children too! Half breed mutants is what they would be. And you believed ALL OF IT!” he laughed. The bell rang couple minutes later. He got no reaction out of her. He threw her a glare and Nott took his place in front of her.

“Hi.” he just said, looking down at her. Rosa scrunched up her nose. “How are you?” he asked, but got no answer from the girl. He let out a small ‘hmph’. “Must be uncomfortable sitting there… I mean with all the scars in your back, I mean” that topped Rosa’s curiosity. Her wide eyes went straight to Malfoy who was being occupied by the health of his nails. “So it seems my guess was a correct one” Nott said, smiling now. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Rosa said with a stern voice.

“Of course, you don’t, darling” Rosa visibly cringed at the petname. “So… should I run to Malfoy and tell all about your little crush on him and your back--” Rosa opened her mouth but was interrupted by Nott lifting his hand up motioning for her to shut up. “--I mean… who’s going to want a bride that’s all scarred up? Because if Malfoy knew… We both know that the rumour would fly out pretty damn quickly. So am I going to run to every Slytherin and tell them everything about you... or are you going to help me to win?” 

“What do you want?” Nott smiled.

“I doubt you’re good enough of an actress to make up some tears for me?”   


“In your dreams, Nott”   


“Then give me more anger than you gave to Pansy.”

Rosa closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Faking anger shouldn’t be that difficult, right? She opened her eyes again, filling her mind with everything bad the Slytherin in front of her had ever done to her. She could try and get her revenge. She spat in his eye, she lunged, screaming in anger this time. Nott took many steps back in shock. The others were cheerleading him on. Rosa stopped trying to escape the magical bonds that held her still. She ended up just staring at the ceiling. 

_ I can’t believe I just made a deal with a fucking Snake. _

“Nott in the lead, with… rage. Tough one to beat. Draco’s last.” Lolly announced. The clock started ticking. Malfoy walked inside of the silencing spell. He knelt down, just like he had when he had done glamours on her. He had no smirk on his lips, making him look foreign without it. 

“I’m sorry” he said, extremely quiet, Rosa barely heard it. He was staring at her eyes. Rosa was about to open her mouth to question him but was cut off by Malfoy himself.

“You are a disgusting creature” he said, voice soft and strained, his eyes studying her reaction. Rosa felt a pang in her stomach, just pure, emotional pain. She knew those words. “You are a repulsive half breed to which I never want to talk to again because you are far too below me to be given the opportunity of acquiring my friendship” he continued. Rosa was holding back her tears. Those were the words her father had made him recite on the day that ended their friendship. The day when they unwillingly parted ways. And he was now reciting them, willingly. Her breath was shaking, but she refused to look away from him. 

“Let them fall, so I don’t need to finish it, Rosa” Malfoy said, looking almost guilty. Almost. 

“Don’t you dare call me that, Malfoy!” she spat out, violently blinking her reddening eyes. “Finish it. Go on” she encouraged him. Malfoy sighed.

“You don’t deserve my friendship because you are as good as the mud I stomp on” he finished. As he did, Rosa felt tears falling onto her face. She sniffled. Malfoy stood up turned around (Rosa could feel that he was smirking and bragging his achievement to his friends). 

“Holy shit Malfoy! Tears give you an instant win” Lolly announced, slightly gobsmacked. The minions were groaning and snickering at Rosa simultaneously. “You did not lie Malfoy” Goyle commented, which went straight into Rosa’s heart. Malfoy had planned this. He had manipulated her into a crying mess. It only made her sob harder, her pride long gone. 

“Awwh, Dawn, don’t cry. You just won Malfoy 250 galleons.” Parkinson baby talked her. Rosa could only glare, so that was the price of her pride. The group swiftly made their leave from the room. Nott gave her a suggestive smirk, Rosa knew at that point that their so called deal was off. 

The group left Rosa alone, crying in the cold room; it was tradition after all. She knew that screaming for help wouldn’t help since the silencing spell was around her. The spells should let her go within couple hours, at least that’s what Rosa hoped for. She stopped fighting against the tears.

Not 10 minutes passed when she heard the door opening and closing again. Someone walked into the room. 

“Changed your mind about beating me up?” Rosa asked, voice strained from her crying. She was surprised when she saw unmistakable blonde hair kneeled next to her, unbinding the ropes that confined her right leg to the chair. Rosa audibly swallowed as the boy freed her legs. 

Malfoy looked at her, wiping her tears away with his fingers, though Rosa tried moving away from the touch. “I’m not apologizing for it again” he just said, before moving to her back and untangled the knot freeing her hands. Rosa stood up immediately facing Malfoy.

“You’re the only person--” she closed her eyes, trying to keep in the emotions going through her head at that moment. “You’re the only person who’s ever been my friend. I thought that maybe somewhere in you, you still cared--” she took another small pause. Malfoy gave her time, not daring to cut her off. “I didn’t know that even you could be that cruel.” Her voice was now low, done with crying; stern and cold and angry. Rosa reached for her wand and shot a quick  _ petrificus totalus  _ at the blonde. A worthy punishment; she left him there to freeze overnight. The temperature matching her heart. At least she got her revenge at some level, though she did not get the fulfillment the gesture had promised in her mind.

She exited her now former prison and ran to her common room. She cried herself to sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Leave a comment/kudos/bookmark, or just have a lovely day!


	7. Too Many Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello, hello!  
> This is the last chapter I had pre-written so posts will be less frequent, though I'm tryiing to find a rhytm of 1-2 chapter a week. The next 4 will be quite hectic for me, since my uni seems to want to kill me and drown me in work.   
> For now, I hope you like this chapter, comments and reviews are always welcome!
> 
> -V.

_ We write to inform you of the breaking of the engagement reservation between you and my son, Vincent. My sincerest apologies, _

_ Happy holidays, _

_ Lord Crabbe Sr. _

 

Crabbe hadn’t lied. Rosa received the letter the evening after just before curfew. People were hanging out in the Great Hall, since for now it seemed to be the only place outside of common rooms where Umbridge wouldn’t suddenly appear. The free snack were a bonus too. Rosa stopped breathing for a moment a paled. Her mind blanked, realizing her fuck up; Crabbe was across the Hall, Lolly sitting in his lap happily. ‘Make sure to keep that boy’ her mother had warned her. Lolly clearly knew how to keep a boy, but she also had a new shiny ring on her finger. 

Another owl hooted above everyone, dropping yet another letter on top of Rosa’s empty plate. She recognized the handwriting with which her name was scribbled to the back. With shaky hands, she turned the envelope around and broke the wax seal of her family crest. She could hear her elevating heartbeat in her ears. She took a shaky breath when the letter shook by itself, raising to face Rosa. The voice coming out of it was her mother’s, tone stern but calm.

“ _ I am absolutely disgusted by you Rosa. I’ve never in my life been this disappointed in you. We will talk of this later in detail; you’re coming home for Christmas _ ” the words echoed through the now silent Hall. The letter tore itself into pieces in front of Rosa’s horrified face. 

Out of the 3 sentences the letter bore, the last one was the reasoning for her frozen state. She had never gone home for Christmas. Her summers weren’t her favorite time of the year; the scars on her back were evidence of that fact. 

“Dawn? Are you ok?” Granger was leaning towards her from a good distance away. Rosa blinked a few times, shaking her head. She stood up quickly under everyone’s eyes, and started rushing out of the Hall. She could hear the Slytherins laughing behind her. Her feet started carrying her towards the library out of habit. Studying would take her mind out of things, right? She sat at her favorite corner away from everyone’s judging glares. Opening a random book, she started reading without a second thought.

“You don’t get to hide from me for forever, Dawn” Rosa didn’t raise her eyes from the text. She heard as the bushy haired girl drew out a chair and confidently sat down and got out her own study materials. “At some point you have to share or you’re going to break” Granger whispered, skipping through pages in efforts of finding the correct one. 

“You’re not my frie--” Rosa started but the other girl quickly cut her off. 

“I’m trying to be your friend. I want to be your friend. But you’re not letting us do that, Dawn. Do you really think that we don’t see your blood stained shirts? When you walk into the common room after being branded by Umbridge? What the hell is going on, Dawn?” Granger ranted, clearly frustrated over the topic. Rosa sighed and finally lifted her eyes from the book. She opened and closed her mouth a couple times, looked around in fear of someone eavesdropping. For some reason she wanted to trust the girl. But she wouldn’t. Especially since now 3 people - Malfoy, Nott and Snape - knew about her secret. To Rosa that was 3 people too many.

“Stop putting your nose into business where it doesn’t belong, Granger” she mumbled, grabbing her bag to leave.

“What’s--”

“Is it because you’re a mudblood? Is there a muggle thing that just demands for you to peek into people’s lives?” Rosa didn’t like how the slur sounded coming from her lips. She had just willingly gone against her own beliefs. But it had been necessary to keep her secrets safe. If that meant braking her so-called friendship with Granger, it was worth it.

Right now, everything was getting too overwhelming. Her inheritance was going down the toilet, no respecting pureblood who her mother would accept would ever marry her. She was looking at 3 weeks of hellish holiday, most likely accompanied by a pureblood event and punishment. It was too much. But Rosa kept her mask on. She refused to let her tears fall. 

Once more she turned a corner and crashed into someone. Rosa fell down straight onto her arse. She sighed in frustration, “I’m sorry, I--” she looked up at the person standing above her and cut herself off. “Great, had to be you. I take my apology back” Malfoy rolled his eyes, and offered a hand to help her up. Rosa glared at the blonde and got up with her own accord.

“How bad is it?” He asked, not letting her pass without having a conversation first. Malfoy put his hands into his pockets awkwardly an odd tinge of guilt decorating his normally smirking face. Pity. Rosa shook her head, not liking this side of the boy. “Stop. You’re feeling bad for me for making me cry. No hard feelings yeah?” Rosa took a step to walk away, but Malfoy blocked her way. 

A lightbulb went off in Rosa’s head. She started digging through her school bag and took out multiple pieces of parchment. “Charms, DADA, Ancient Runes and Potions. I need couple days to finish your Herbology assignment” Malfoy didn’t take them, but kept on staring at the girl. Rosa shook her head, grabbed Malfoy’s hand, and shoved the work into it. 

“Rosa Dawn--”   


“No, you don’t have the right to call me that anymore, Malfoy!” he scoffed in return.

“Your reservation was broken. Big deal, he wouldn’t have married you anyway. Why are you so upset? It’s not that difficult to find a desperate pureblood” Rosa pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. 

“I don’t know! Maybe it’s the fact that the only fucking person I once thought as a friend decided to completely fuck my life over? Or that my future is nothing but my mother begging for me to marry someone I don’t love? Or that… that I’m going home for Christmas just to get the shit beaten out of--” at that point Rosa cut herself off with a slight gasp, realizing that she had said too much. “I didn’t mean that, that was all a lie” she quickly blurred out.

“I haven’t told anyone. And you are a shit liar, remember?” Malfoy’s tone turned soft, almost caring. Rosa looked up at the young man. She started wondering if this was the real Draco showing up after all these years, or one of Malfoy’s evil tricks against her. One thing was certain; he did not deserve her trust. “Why do you let your mother--”   
“Stop. You’re not giving me advice on how to live. Look at your own parents, a bunch of fucking Death Eaters!”

“And yours are any better?!”   


“My father--”   


“He’s not around now, is he? Huh, I think there has to be a fucking reason why the only thing everyone seems to know of him is his status. No one even knows his name!”

“He’s a good man”

“A good man takes care of his children” 

“I never said he was a good father” Malfoy huffed.

“I’m not apologizing for yesterday again.” he said once more. 

“Like I said, no hard feelings.” she said through gritted teeth, still bitter about the subject.

“Nott isn’t going to talk.” 

“Yeah, right” Rosa scoffed.

“I made sure of it”

“Why would you?”

“Seemed fair”   


“You’re not one to play fair, Malfoy. We both know that”

“True. But maybe it’ll force you to actually take my advice” Rosa thought for a moment.

“Blackmail”  she concluded.

“Pretty much” Malfoy affirmed.

“I don’t need your advice, Malfoy. I don’t want your future” something about her statement made Malfoy huff in anger. He seemed personally offended by her remark.

“If you want to hold yourself in this community you should! You understand that I’m helping you just because I respect your last name? It’s  _ nothing _ more. And yeah, you’re halfbreed and a half blood and probably won’t marry but could you at least live through that with a speck of dignity? I mean, come on, openly crying because I hurt your little feelings? How do you expect for them to respect you after that?” Malfoy ranted, trying to rid himself of his guilt for making the girl feel bad. Rosa just scoffed.

“It’s quite funny.” she started, to Malfoy’s confusion. “How you, after all this time, still think I have an ounce of pride left.”

“If you didn’t you’d be begging for my friendship right about now” Malfoy said with a scowl.

“Remember the time when I didn’t need to beg?” He took a moment, reminding himself of their young friendship. They were young; he didn’t have clear memories other than the last day the played together. But he did remember the laughs. Their games. The joy of simply having her friendship.

+++

_ Draco was dragging Rosa behind him by her hand. Some of the pureblood parents had decided to have a nice little playdate, but all Draco wanted was to hang alone with his best friend.  _

_ The pair made it outside, Draco led them to the base of an old oak tree. Rosa looked up, seeing a glorious treehouse among the branches. _

_ “Dad built it for me!” the young blonde proudly exclaimed. “I’ll let you know the password too! NOVA!” he almost yelled the password out, and Rosa made sure to remember it.  _

_ The treehouse’s latch door opened and a magical ladder folded down. The children giddily climbed up into the little cottage.  _

_ Inside, the cottage was yet to be furnished, only two beanbags sat lazily on the floor.  _

_ “I thought this could be the warriors’ secret meeting place” Draco said as he crashed down onto one of the beanbags. Rosa just nodded excitedly.  _

_ “We should do the vow!” Rosa suggested. This time Draco was the one nodding. He raised his right arm, Rosa mirrored his action. _

_ “Rosa Dawn, do you vow to be my best friend forever and protect me in battle with your life, on your warrior’s honor?” _

_ “Yes.” the girl said a bit too quickly, smiling. “Draco Lucius Malfoy do you vow to be my best friend forever and protect me in battle with your life, on your warriors honor?”  _

_ “Yes!” Draco said quickly. “Together?” Draco asked, Rosa nodded. _

_ “Cross my heart, hope to die” they said together. _

_ +++ _

“That was a good time wasn’t it?” Malfoy was trying to bite down a sad smirk. Rosa tried to do the same, now looking up at the boy. Only difference: Rosa was failing. 

“If the second Warrior was there… I think your back wouldn’t look like that” 

“I doubt that. According to your laws a half-blood can’t be a knight. Plus, I’m a girl so that’s a double negative.” She shook her head at her memories. “Royal Warriors were ultimately defeated by the wrath of Lucius Malfoy, remember? Someone had to separate us before Hogwarts did” Rosa mumbled under her breath. The pairs eyes locked in shared sadness.

A moment passed. Just the two of them sharing the same air..

Another went by.

They were both comfortable within their silence.

A full minute passed.

“Fuck it all” Malfoy said, and in a ridiculously quick haste took her into a warm embrace. 

His arms were around her neck, pressing her into his chest. And out of sheer missing of her old friendship, her arms wrapped around his midsection. She inhaled his scent, reminding her of the times when he wasn’t an evil little shit making her cry every other day. Right now they were both 5 years old, Draco comforting her because she was scared of the thunderstorm outside. Rosa’s tears soaked Draco’s uniform shirt, and even the boy let out a couple sniffles. 

“I miss you so fucking much, Rosa” he whispered into her ear. Rosa shook her head. Those statements would only end in disappointment. They shouldn’t be friends. They couldn’t. 

Rosa hardened her grip on the boy for a second, trying to soak in the moment of weakness they shared. They both knew that the last time they had any kind of friendly physical contact was almost 7 years ago. These moments were rare and they both had changed immensely. But they always craved each others’ company despite their differences. But right now they were just kids. Friends. Warriors.

Rosa reluctantly pushed out of Dra-- Malfoy’s embrace. An awkward silence ensued. Their eyes didn’t meet anymore, both overthinking and overanalyzing their relationship. 

“I never said that” Malfoy finally blurted out, wiping his face clean with his hand discreetly.

“Of course, Draco” she said a bit too quickly.

“And… I’ll continue tormenting you tomorrow” Malfoy was now scratching the back of his neck, trying to get out of the hallway as quickly as possible. He was realizing the stupidity of his actions. What if someone had seen them? His reputation would be ruined. He was slipping too much. 

“Okay” Rosa just nodded, not meeting his eyes. A sudden anger towards his double personality hit her.

“Good. See you later then, Rosa?” 

“Don’t call me that, you bastard”   


“Just this once.” with that he swished past her and disappeared into the hallways. 

+++

Rosa walked into the common room conflicted. She had a moment of weakness for the boy which she instantly regretted.

“Rosa” Granger called. Rosa froze hearing her given name leaving her lips. “I thought you would be here when I came in” Granger interrogated.

“I took a walk” Rosa lied, walking towards the trio by the fireplace, glaring at the bushy haired girl.

“I’m ready to forgive you--”

“I’m not apologizing.” Rosa butted in, stubborn. She knew she had to keep her distance now.

“The mystery of your given name has been solved” Weasley said with an evil grin. Rosa narrowed her eyes, daring for he boy to use it. His smirk wavered.

“Keep on trying to get that privilege, Weasley” he rolled his eyes, letting out a small laugh in midst of her confusion. How did they find out?

“A letter came for you” Hermione suddenly said, an envelope in her hand. “Your owl was knocking at the window so I just took it… Your name was on the envelope.” 

Rosa very quickly grabbed the letter from Hermione’s hand, and read the handwriting on which her name was written on. She flashed the most genuine smile any of the Trio had seen on her face. “Who is it from?” Potter asked, surprised by the amount of emotion on the other girl’s face. 

“My father.” Rosa ripped the letter open, getting out the parchment.

 

_ Hello Rosa once again. _

_ I’m doing well, thank you. I’m more worried of you than of my condition. _

_ It’s great to hear that you are making friends (yes, they are friends rather than acquaintances, Rosa, get over it). Harry is perhaps not the greatest influence, he tends to find trouble everywhere he goes, but I’m happy if you are. I’m proud of you for making an effort in socializing with people your mother would not agree with. I believe that Hermione would be a fantastic help with your school work, not that you would need it. Ronald I do not know as well, but seems to be alright as well.  What I do know, that you can trust them, don’t be afraid to open up to them. _

_ What comes to your DADA teacher, keep quiet and do your work. I wouldn’t want your OWL’s grades going down because of her. You are ahead anyway, but if there’s something you want to know spells wise, don’t hesitate to ask. _

_ And since it’s the time of year, I have to ask once more if you would join me for Christmas. There is no way that being alone in the castle would be better for you. You don’t need to tell your mother. Think about it, or does your old man have to wait another 2 years to see his daughter again? _

_ I hope you are doing well, _

_ I love you, _

_ Dad. _

 

Rosa’s heart sank a little as she read through the letter. Her father had never offered for her to live with him, but every Christmas he extended an invite. Rosa always thought that was because of sheer guilt. No matter how bad of a father he was, he was the person Rosa looked up to most in life. Which is why it hurt so much everytime Rosa read those words; “ _ I love you _ ”. 

Those words finished every letter her father ever sent her, and in every single one Rosa could see the hesitation in his handwriting. It was a blatant lie given to her in ink. Another lie was the name “dad”. He had never been that to her, at least properly. When she was face-to-face with him, she hadn’t had the strength to call him with that title in years. When she talked about his father to other’s she would use it for clarification since his father’s identity was the most well kept secret since the whereabouts of You-Know-Who. Rosa’s mother had made sure of that. And he had never made a protest.

Rosa shook her head out of her thoughts and made her way up to the girls’ dormitory, ignoring the Golden Trio’s questions, or were they just sentences? Rosa had already shut their voices out. Against her expectation of finding the dorm room with giggling and gossiping girls, the room was empty. Her relieved sigh echoed through the room.

Rosa took off her robe and threw it into her trunk that was sitting at the foot of her bed. She removed the red and gold tie from around her neck, throwing it on top of her growing pile of clothing. Next to go was her uniform shirt, leaving Rosa in her bra and skirt. This time Rosa threw the shirt into the laundry bin, refusing to wear it twice without a wash in between. Damn those Pureblood ways. Her oversized black t-shirt (aka her pajama shirt) laid on top of her unmade bed. She started reaching for it.

“Oh my God” the exclamation came from behind Rosa, but it was rather a whisper than a shout. Rosa whipped around, eyes wide in surprise. Granger was standing by the door, staring at Rosa’s body rather than her eyes like she tended to do. 

An alarm bell went off in Rosa’s brain. She lunged for her shirt, realizing what the bushy haired girl had seen. She put the shirt on hastily, not caring that in was inside out. All she wanted was to cover her scars with some clothing, though the damage was done. Granger had seen everything. 

Wand. Rosa needed her wand right about now. 

“This explains everything” Granger thought out loud.

Rummaging through her small pile, Rosa found her wand in the depths of her robe and quickly pointed it at Granger. She knew the spell. Obliviate, is what she should’ve done. Instead, Rosa stood there frozen.

“Is this why you hide--”   


“Shut up, mudblood!” Rosa shouted, tense. She flinched after using the slur again.

“Don’t you think insulting me would want me to go and tattle more?” Granger asked, completely calm, but eyes filled with sadness.

“I’m the one holding the wand!” Rosa’s mind was racing, which was reflected through her expressions. Granger was having hard time keeping up. 

“You can call me a mudblood if that makes you feel better. But you can’t shut us out”

“That’s for me to decide! Can’t I decide things for myself for once?!” Rosa’s eyes were growing red and puffy, but she was determined not to cry in front of Granger. She wouldn’t.

“Of course, you can. But… isn’t it lonely?” 

Frozen. Rosa was frozen. She blinked a couple of times, registering Granger’s words. She shook her head. ‘Your mask is slipping, Rosa’ her mother had said every time something like this happened. And she sure as hell wasn’t about to disappoint her again. 

“I’ve survived until now just fine, Granger.”

“Think about it. I quite enjoy our study sessions. I’m assuming you don’t hate them either... I would call you a friend, but since you like your labels… I’ll give you time” the brown haired Gryffindor started making her way to her own bed, across from Rosa’s. Granger didn’t seem faced by the fact that Rosa’s wand was following her around. 

“The others are having a sleepover with the Hufflepuffs” she explained the emprines of their dorm whilst she peeled back her duvet and burritoed herself. This is when Rosa noticed that she was already in her pajamas. 

“Promise you won’t tell” Rosa said, wand still pointing at the girl.

“I promise”

“Cross your heart, hope to die?” Granger was slightly perplexed by the childish saying. Rosa’s mind had suddenly gone down in years right in front of her. 

“Cross my heart, hope to die” she just repeated. Only then Rosa lowered her wand and her heartbeat stabled.

“Goodnight, Rosa” Granger said, internally freaking out because of the marks on Rosa’s back, but somehow managed to stay calm.

Rosa lowered her wand, and turned to face her bed. “Don’t call me that” she whispered, which Hermione did not hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Leave a kudos/comment/bookmark or simply have a glorious day!


	8. Family History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A super short one, I know and I apologize. I thought it would be helpful to hear a bit more about Rosa's family and look at the other Gryffindors' thoughts on her. Hope you like it!
> 
> Thank you for everyone who's been reading and commenting, I do appreciate it immensely.

Rule after rule after rule after rule. Rosa was convinced that it was Umbridge’s ploy to get her into detention over and over again. But it was not the amount of rules being hammered to the wall each week that caught her eye; it was the amount of people deliberately breaking them. 

There were groups of people in detentions at the same time. The Golden Trio had suddenly a lot more friends and they periodically disappeared. They often talked by the fireplace in hushed voices and ended the conversation immediately when Rosa joined them. She didn’t want to think too much into it, she didn’t want to get thrown into even more trouble. Hermione was glued to her hip most of the time anyway, no matter how much Rosa had protested. 

The Inquisitorial Squad was infuriating everyone, taking points off from others for the smallest reasons. The Slytherin hourglass was looking unnaturally full, whilst no one was surprised to see the Gryffindor one nearing zero. All this resulted in Rosa being on a sour mood most of the time as Christmas was threateningly approaching. Suddenly having Hermione there as a mental support wasn’t so offending, though Rosa would never admit that outloud.

“Seriously, Ron! We can trust her” there was another hushed conversation happening by the fireplace. Rosa had sneaked into the common room, but decided to stay in the alcove for a moment, curious over their little talks. And lucky for her, she could hear them quite alright since almost everyone were still having lunch. 

“When the Goon Squad stops being so interested in her, we can talk to her” Weasley rebutted Hermione’s claim. Rosa’s ears flared up; she was 99% sure she was the topic of conversation.

“I’m sorry, ‘Mione but I agree with Ron. They’re already suspecting us, if she tags along we’re going to get found out. Plus, she knows Malfoy and all the other Slytherins, what stops her from running to them and telling everything?” Potter slid into the conversation. A surge of anger went through Rosa. She was aware of how the Gryffindors saw her, but in her mind she didn’t think their bigotry to be this severe. 

“The Slytherins pinpoint you the same way they do her, Harry. They torment her” Weasley actually snorted at Hermione’s words. A speck of pride made its way through Rosa, knowing that Hermione was sticking up for her. She decided to step out of the alcove, making her presence known.

“Don’t bother, Hermione. Most of the Gryffindors think I’m as good as a Death Eater anyway. I don’t blame Weasley for not trusting me. Honestly, I don’t know why you do” she spoke as she walked and crashed down onto her favorite armchair. Hermione’s jaw was slightly dropped open in surprise.

“Did you just… call me Hermione?” Rosa couldn’t read the expression on the other girl’s face. Her pureblood ways were throwing an alarm into her brain. She had offended the girl by not asking for permission first, Rosa concluded. 

“I… I apologize. I must’ve… misunderstood… I thought-- I thought you considered me a friend-- it was not my intention to offend you-- I’m sorry” she rambled, trying to understand her thoughts and the situation as a whole. 

Having friends was not her forte; the only one being Malfoy in her youth. Making friends then was much easier, now everything was so complicated. Malfoy was complicated. But in Rosa’s mind Her-Granger wanted to be her friend. That’s what she had said before. Unless she was just making fun of her. A dangerous thought. Granger wasn’t like that was she?

“No, no, no, Rosa” Granger stopped her rambling thoughts. She had a sweet smile decorating her face. “I’m just surprised. But yes, we’re friends. Definitely friends. As as I was saying, Ron, we should trust our friends” Rosa let out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding. She reorganized her thoughts. Everything was fine. She shook her head, replaying Hermione’s words in her head. Rosa smiled. She had someone to call a friend. 

“I know ‘Mione, but like… No offence Dawn--” Rosa cut Weasley off. 

“I don’t trust you either, Weasley.” Rosa blurted out in midst of her thoughts. “Wait, you’re seriously just ok with me calling you Hermione even after I called you a mudblood?!” Rosa turned back to the bushy haired girl, trying to piece together her logic.

“SHE WHAT?” Weasley shouted, throwing Rosa a quick and ugly glare. To Rosa’s surprise Potter too had a very good and intimidating glare. 

“You need context for that, boys.” Hermione said to the two boys and turned back to the wide eyed girl. “And you don’t need my permission to call me by my name. But I still see you as a friend. I understand why you did what you did. People do things they regret when they’re scared.” she explained. 

“What is she so scared of to call you that?!” Weasley asked, still glaring.

“Ron, seriously, her famil--”

“SHUT UP” Rosa shouted suddenly. She was frozen in place, staring at Hermione. She audibly swallowed, taking a few calm breaths. “You promised” she reminded her. Hermione brought her hand to her mouth suddenly, realizing her mistake. 

“I’m sorry, Rosa.” she said with a small voice. 

“What is this? Explain” Potter demanded. Rosa looked at Hermione, uncomfortable.

“It’s private” is all that Hermione said. Weasley and Potter huffed together simultaneously.

“Can you tell us anything? I mean, about you, your family?” Weasley asked awkwardly, arms folded on top of his chest. Potter nodded, leaning back himself, “We don’t really know much about you other than that you have good grades... I mean… I know that ‘Mione knows you better but... “ Potter rambled, mirroring Weasley’s awkwardness. 

“I think it’s fair, Rosa.” Hermione said. Rosa sighed, looking down.

“I mean… well… I live with my mum in Surrey. I’m a Dawn so I go to a bunch of pureblood events and stuff…” she explained, not really knowing what the trio wanted her to tell them.

“And your dad?” Weasley asked a little too curious for Rosa’s liking.

“Um… well… he’s not a pureblood. His mother was muggleborn. He knew of my mother’s views, so he never disclosed his purity. When mum got pregnant, father proposed. She found out at the engagement party, was technically disowned and vowed that no one would know whose daughter I truly was. Father never protested. He still keeps in touch though.” Rosa explained with a monotone voice. The trio was staring at her blankly.

“I was more meaning to ask what he does for a living, but ok” Weasley said amused.

“Oh… he goes from job to job really… now days he does some stuff for the Order”

“Of the Phoenix?” Potter asked, suddenly leaning forward in shocked interest. Rosa just rolled her eyes.

“No, of the fucking Umbridge assassination squad” she clapped back. Hermione snickered.

“What’s his name?” Potter challenged, slightly offended by the remark. Rosa looked down again, shaking her head. 

“My mother always says that his identity is as well guarded as You-Know-Who’s secrets. Would it satisfy you if I just told you that he’s a shit father but a good man, who the Order should trust?” Potter nodded, satisfied.  “My mother on the other hand no one should trust. Ever. I don’t think one word that comes out of her mouth is true.”

“She’s also in the order?” Potter questioned. Hermione cringed at the idea, Rosa laughed out loud. The idea of her mother of all people standing against Voldemort was ridiculous. 

“She has the Mark, Potter. My parents fought on the other sides of the War” she explained. Weasley scoffed. “And, Hermione, this is why we don’t go around giving information to new ‘friends’” he said, words like venom on his tongue. 

“Ronald!” Hermione exclaimed, horrified. “If you knew the whole truth--”

“Hermione.” Rosa shut her up again. Hermione realized her mistake again. Shaking her head frustratedly; she wanted to share all of her information with the boys.

“Where do your loyalties lie, Dawn?” Weasley interrogated, looking her straight in the eye. He’ll make a good Auror one day. 

“I… I won’t betray my mother if you’re asking me to do so. But I’m no Death Eater either. I hate everything the pureblood community stands for, but at the same time… I… I just want to a part of something. Since Gryffindors like you will never trust me, I have to find my place there. The Order will never open its doors for me. We both know that. So… I guess… I’m in the middle” Rosa mumbled through her answer. Truthfully, she didn’t have an answer to the question. “I understand your hushed conversations and secrecy. You don’t need to include me, but at the same time, I would ask you not to ignore me. I’m quite new to the whole friends thing, and I’d like to keep the first one I’ve made in 7 years.” Rosa didn’t know why she was being so open with the group, but she felt comfortable. Her father’s written words: “ _ you can trust them, don’t be afraid to open up to them”  _ swirled in her mind. On the second thought, maybe this was a good idea. 

“Ok. I think we can live with that” Weasley said and offered his hand to Rosa for her to shake it. She flashed a genuine smirk and took his hand. Maybe she would be making more of these friends later on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it!
> 
> Leave a kudos/comment/bookmark, or just have the most wonderful day!


	9. Gryffindor Betrayed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello once more peeps!  
> Here's another chapter (quite angsty, I must say but one of my favorites so far)  
> Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> -V.

Rosa was surprised when she woke up to an empty dorm room. Normally Hermione waited for her so that they could go to breakfast together. Rosa casted a quick tempus. 7:46. Huh. She hadn’t slept that well in a while. Memories from yesterday flooded her mind. Friend. She had someone to call a true friend. She smiled to herself, changed to her uniform and walked (almost skipped) to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Rosa walked in, still smiling at how good she felt suddenly. She glanced at the Gryffindor table, noticing the Golden Trio deep in conversation. She started walking towards them, smile not wavering. Ron noticed Rosa, his eyes sad and nudged Potter which alerted Hermione as well. They stared at her, everyone’s eyes filled with sadness and pity. Ron’s eyes went to the floor. Potter opened his mouth but shut it again. Hermione looked sorry. Rosa stopped at her tracks. Her smile disappeared within the next second. She shook her head not wanting to trust the situation. Big brown eyes met her emerald ones.

“Tell me you didn’t” Rosa mouthed to the bushy haired girl, some kind of emotion going through her body. It felt similar to the day when her and Malfoy’s friendship ended. Just pure sadness and the destruction of promises, all hope of a brighter future going out the window with them.  Herm--Granger’s eyes went to the floor. Rosa’s mind was screaming.

_She told them._

_She told them._

_They know._

_Oh my God._

_She told them._

_She lied to me._

_That little-- fucking-- MUDBLOOD!_

In what seemed like record time, Rosa exited the Great Hall not bothering with breakfast anymore. Honestly, she felt like throwing up.

“How could I be this stupid?!” she ranted out loud at herself. It was accurate; above the feeling of betrayal, there was the feeling of stupidity. Trusting Granger with her friendship was dumb of her. Trusting anyone really was dumb. I mean, _Theodore Nott_ of all people knew what laid underneath her robes. And he didn’t even need to see it.

Walking among the students that were heading for early morning classes, Rosa found her way into an empty Transfiguration classroom. She didn’t trust herself not to hex someone into oblivion on her way to the Common Room. She had to calm down first.

Crashing into the classroom, Rosa grabbed the nearest desk and held it tightly until her knuckles turned white. Her breathing was starting to go shaky, but Rosa refused to hed more tears over friends. They were never friends. She had been an absolute idiot. From the depths of her robes, Rosa took out her wand and quickly destroyed a chair into flying pieces of wood. She heard the door behind her opening slightly.

“Fuck off!” Rosa shouted at the intruder, not bothering to turn around. Instead, she decided to put another chair flying in multiple bits and pieces.

“Language, Miss Dawn! Ten points from Gryffindor!” Rosa whipped her head back, looking at her Head of House. “Professor McGonagall.” she just said wide eyed, chest still heaving slightly. “I… I apologize, I thought you were someone else.”

“Clearly you were mistaken” the old witch said, amused. Rosa could swear she saw the old woman smirk at her misfortune. “I’m here to relay a message to you, although I would also appreciate if you stopped destroying my classroom” the Professor started. Rosa’s brows came together in confusion. “I wanted to see the matter done personally, as I find it extremely distressing”

“What is it, Professor?” Rosa questioned.

“A student has made a claim that you have been… abused.” Rosa tried to act as if she was confused by the statement, knowing that the teacher was studying her reactions. She feared that the teacher could hear her heart dropping in pure fear.

“By whom?” Rosa scoffed, not very convisibly.

“A family member”  
“That’s ridiculous, professor! The only family I ha-- associate with is my mother. She  has pure blood standards, she wouldn’t degrade herself by-- what did you say, _abusing_ me?” Rosa said. It sounded rehearsed, and she knew that.

“Exactly my thoughts, Miss Dawn. But, you see, the Headmaster wants to be sure. You shall be examined by Madam Pomfrey this evening after your classes.”

“But-- there already was a health inspection! I haven’t seen any family after--” Rosa was about to protest, but she was cut short by McGonagall raising her hand.

“Since you are underage, we asked your mother for permission. She did find it very distressing that such an accusation has been made. She agreed on letting Poppy to take a look at you.. This is a very serious matter, Miss Dawn. Madam Pomfrey will simply examine if you are in proper health”

“Was my father informed?” Rosa asked in a moment of curiosity.

“Not yet. If there’s something to report, we will do so”

“Very well” Rosa said, her eyes now glued to the floor.

“You are excused.”

“May I ask, Professor. Who was the student who made such a claim?” she tried to sound innocent.

“I’m sorry, I can’t give you that information” Rosa nodded and bowed her head down as a goodbye to her teacher. Then she stomped straight to the Gryffindor common room.

She huffed even more angry than before, bumping to many people on her way. She kept her eyes at the end of each hallway, making sure that no one, no matter who they were wouldn’t dare to stop her. She looked almost possessed, her wand in her hand, knuckles white and eyes filled with fury.

“Mimbulus Mimbletonia” Rosa growled at the fat lady.

“Oh, honey, you look absolutely dreadful! Should I sing to you to cheer you up, darling?” the painting said with a hopeful sing-songy voice.

“Open the bloody door, or I will blast through your fucking canvas” Rosa said, gripping her wand just a little tighter.

“Are you sure you’re not one of those Slytherins?” the lady asked, mortified.

“Mimbulus Mimbletonia. That’s the bloody password. And _Bombarda Maxima_ is the spell that will blast me through you if you don’t let me in, lady”

The lady frowned, but swiftly opened the door. Rosa practically flew through it straight into the common room, that was conveniently empty. The Golden Trio was waiting for her by the fireplace as always. But this time they weren’t sitting. Rosa concluded that they emptied the room. Probably a good idea since Rosa was holding herself back not to pull out three unforgivables out of her wand. Rosa glared at them with pure hatred filling her mind.

“Which one of you was it?!” Rosa’s voice was weaker than she wanted to be. She glared at everyone one of them individually, wand outstretched pointing at their general direction. Her heart ached when her angry tear stained eyes were met with Granger’s sad ones. The girl was supposed to be her friend.

“Dawn, I’m so sorry, they knew something was up and I-- it just came out--” She tried explaining, but was quickly cut off by the other Gryffindor.

“YOU PROMISED ME!! Cross your heart!” Rosa shouted, tears flooding her eyes. So this was what betrayal felt like. Her shout had shut Grangers mouth. “Why? Was it just to get past me in class, huh? Why would you pretend like you cared?!” the tears were now streaming to her cheeks, but she didn’t give them a second thought. The feeling flooding through her muddled anything. And it fucking hurt.

The two boys had never seen her like this; her mask completely off, completely open and vulnerable. Their mouths were open from surprise of the amount of emotion Rosa had held inside of her. Potter’s eyes were glued to the floor.

“I do care, Dawn--” Granger started.

“LIAR!”

“Dawn, calm down, please” Weasley said, motioning at her to do so with his hands. She found the comment ridiculous. Someone decided for her how her future was going to be shaped. She didn’t appreciate it, her mother was so good at doing that already.

“Was it you then, Weasley? Who told Dumbledore?”

“It was me.” Potter raised his eyes from the floor. “And I know you’re angry but--”

“But what? It’s not your story to go and tell everyone about! This is my problem not yours!” She was talking with her hands now, wand pointing where ever. Ron was ducking from time to time not wanting to be on the way of a potential curse.

“Dawn. I grew up in a household that was a bit abusive-- but nothing compared to yours. When ‘Mione told us… I just couldn’t-- I mean if I was given the opportunity to move in with Sirius and get out--” Potter rambled.

“I don’t have a “Sirius”! Do you think my father would just happily take me in and live happily ever after?! He sends me letters because he feels guilty for being the absolute shittest father not because he wants me back!! Mum is all the family I fucking have!” Potter’s face fell.

“I… I thought-- but you said--”

“Do you _really_ think that I’m just going to go around and announce to you that I’m an unloved bastard?!” Rosa’s angry tears were now drying on top of her reddening face.

“I didn’t think--”

“Well, no fucking shit, Potter? _Stupefy!_ ” Potter flew backwards into the brickwall, next to the fireplace. Weasley stumbled to find his wand. “ _Expelliarmus!_ ” Weasley’s wand shot out of his hand towards Rosa. Hermione did not make a move to attack the other girl.

Potter was getting up with difficulty. Rosa kept on pointing her wand at the scarhead.

“If you ever, _ever_ , again mess with my life, Potter, I promise to you I will make sure that you will never walk or talk or fucking breathe again.” Rosa said, not lowering her wand. Potter nodded slightly, understanding his mistake.

 _“Melofors!_ ” Rosa jinxed the spectacled boy. A pumpkin incased his head, and his sudden sounds of surprise were muffled by the pumpkin. It was a simple little hex that made Rosa feel a bit better about he revenge. Weasley started helping the “chosen one”. Hermione stayed still, eyes red and puffy and hurt.

“Rosa...” Granger was starting to walk closer to her. She had a couple tears falling down to her cheeks now. Guilt was evident on her face. Rosa didn’t care.

“No. No, no, Granger, we’re not friends. Don’t talk to me. Ever. Turns out you are the Gryffindor mudblood princess I thought you were. Don’t worry, I’ll fail some of my exams so you can be number one of the class. That’s what you wanted, after all, right?” Rosa turned her heel and escaped the red and gold prison.

It was a moment later when she became thankful that most of Hogwarts students were always on time to class, meaning that the hallways were mostly empty. No one was there to see her angry tears that she was frantically wiping off of her cheeks in shame. Although, Rosa had no idea where she was heading. She barely got out of the Gryffindor tower when her questions of her destination left her thoughts instantly.

“ROSA DAWN!” the shout was angry and menacing, her name coming out like venom on the boy’s tongue. Rosa stopped, but didn’t turn around to face the blonde. Tears were still periodically dropping down onto her face, Rosa’s eyes were refusing to listen to her brain. A splitting headache started creeping its way to her consciousness, making her feel exhausted by the amount of emotion she has been expressing throughout the morning. She shook her head and continued walking onwards.

“Not today, Malfoy” she just said loudly back at him. But of course, Rosa knew better. There was no way that Malfoy would just happily do a 180 and walk off in a state of annoyance.

“ROSA DAWN! A FUCKING T?” he shouted from behind her, the sound of his voice nearing her. Rosa was suddenly amused by his anger.

As a slight form of revenge over breaking the reservation, Rosa may have written the most disgustingly inaccurate DADA essay of her life and given it to Malfoy as a part of his pile of homework. By the sounds of it the essay got the lovely grade of a ‘troll’ aka the worst failing grade a person could get. But her amusement disappeared quickly when her headache reminded Rosa of its presence.  

“Not. Today. Malfoy” she added some punctuation and repeated the sentence, still knowing that Malfoy would probably hex her all the way to the Hospital Wing sooner than later. She could hear the sound of his echoing footsteps accelerating into a slight jog. Rosa took a deep breath, readying herself for what would without a doubt turn into a verbal sparring. She tried wiping the falling tears off, knowing that they had stained.

Malfoy ran long enough to pass her and he then swiftly turned around, blocking her way. Rosa kept her eyes staring at his impeccably clean shoes. He didn’t even give her a second glance when he started ranting.

“We had a deal, Rosa Dawn! A FUCKING TROLL! What the hell are you doing?! Have you just suddenly lost the ability to make a patronus? Did your mum beat that out of you too?! Like what the actual-- you know my father will kill me-- I-- Rosa Dawn?” Malfoy decided to finally actually look at the crying girl.

“What about ‘not today’ do you not understand, Malfoy? Just because you Death Eater bastard self can’t cast a patronus don’t put it on me. You’re the one who broke the deal” she said with a worn but stern voice, refusing to raise her eyes to meet his.

Malfoy pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and sighed. “Don’t make me regret asking this, but what happened?” he questioned. He knew Rosa. Rosa Dawn under very few circumstances would call him a Death Eater. She had firsthand experience of being judged for her parents’ actions, thus she rarely did it herself. Something was up.

“Nothing” she lied.

“Rosa Dawn. For me to be able to rant at you properly I need to see your face” the statement only made Rosa lower her head more.

“It has never stopped you before” she clapped back. She heard him sigh, and suddenly felt his fingers latch on her chin and tilting her head gently up. Rosa still refused to meet his eyes. To her surprise, she felt Malfoy’s fingers gently wiping the stains off her face.

“I can’t shout at you if you’re crying.”

“Well, I’m _so_ sorry that my emotions don’t agree with your ranting schedule”

“What happened?” he questioned again.

“I continued my habit of making friends with people who don’t understand what ‘cross my heart, hope to die’ means” she mumbled, slapping Malfoy’s lingering fingers off her cheeks.

“I feel quite attacked right now” Malfoy joked, bringing his hand to his chest in mocked shock. Rosa bit down a sad laugh, instead she yawned; her goodnight’s sleep long forgotten.”What did the Golden children of all that is good and pure do to you?”

“There’s no chance that you would do those glamours on me again?” Malfoy’s face dropped.

“You’ve got to be fucking joking right now, Rosa Dawn. You did not tell the people who have a complex on saving everything and anything that they think need saving, no matter if they ask for help or not? You’re not that fucking stupid, Rosa Dawn!”

“Granger saw, I didn’t tell her… Turns out she has a big mouth, though Potter has a bigger one”

“Bloody hell, Ro--”

“If you’re not going to do glamours on me, can you just… continue with the extremely hurtful insults on me and my family so that I can find a place to cry? I would like to go and get a nap before I get another howler saying how my mother is disgusted with me for befriending a mudblood an--” she cut him off in a moment of brutal honesty.  

“Fuck”  he returned the favor. “Ok… Um… You got me a troll”

“I did” Rosa just said, sullen and whiny.

“I really can’t be angry at you when you cry. C’mon”  he grabbed her wrist, dragging her behind her. She didn’t appreciate the lack of respect in his actions, but she really didn’t have the energy to start fighting against his strong grip.

They walked like that for a long while through the empty and stony corridors. Malfoy’s grip was slowly starting to hurt, he was ruthlessly dragging her around. Rosa could tell he was angry by the way he was manhandling her.

They finally came up to a old wooden door in the depths of the cold dungeons. He opened it and ushered her in. Inside was what could only be described as private quarters. A fireplace, a double bed, even a small dinner table. It was homey and warm, Rosa was reminded of her own house’s common room. Though these walls were darker and painted silver snakes traveled along the ceiling.

“What is this place?” Rosa promptly asked, noticing now how Malfoy was still gripping her wrist. He whipped her around to face him. “Would you stop manhandling me?!” Rosa finally snapped. Malfoy just scoffed.

“I restored the place. I think it was probably teacher’s quarters like 100 years ago” he explained, ignoring her comment. “Go. Take a nap or cry or do something so that I can shout at you” he said, finally letting go of her wrist.

“What?” Rosa asked, thoroughly confused.

“Bloody hell, woman. There’s a bed, you’re not blind are you? Sleep your problems away and then let me give you some more” he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Are you absolutely bonkers?”

“Rosa Dawn. Right now, the only happiness in my life is me tormenting you. And you gave me a good fucking reason to do so. So _please_ take a nap so that those tears dry and then I can shout at you” For some peculiar reason, Rosa could understand him, but the idea still was quite idiotic.

“I… I don’t have pyjamas” she said as an excuse. Malfoy held his hand out, and wordlessly accio’d his own T-shirt into it. He offered it to her. Rosa considered. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the shirt.

“With one condition” she suddenly got an idea.

“Which is?”

“Glamours”

“No.” he growled. Rosa offered the shirt back. Malfoy refused to take it.

“Just the back”

“Rosa Dawn, I said I wouldn’t help your mother again”

“Then help _me_ ” her tone was starting to turn into begging. Malfoy only shook his head.

“Rosa Dawn I--” Malfoy stopped talking when Rosa grabber her own robe and threw it onto the floor. She started unbuttoning her white uniform shirt in anger.

“What are you doing?” Malfoy asked, his expression softening a bit.

“You want me to change don’t you? I apologize if seeing my scars again disgusts you that much. I as one know one way you could get rid of them” Rosa taunted, continuing her unbuttoning, midway through now.

Malfoy was altering his gaze, turning his head. Rosa brought her hand to her cheek gently and turned his face to watch her.

“Watch me. I want you to see them again” Rosa said, bringing her hands to unbutton some of the last ones. She shrugged the shirt off of her shoulders, standing in front of him now only in her bra. She turned around to show her back to him. He flinched and quickly grabbed the t-shirt and flung it through her head. He roughly turned her back around and helped her into the shirt, now once more covered.

“Rosa--”

“Please”

“You can’t guilt trip me with this, Rosa”

“Please”

“You can’t expect me to--”

“Please, Draco”

“Promise you’ll _never_ ask me to do this again” he said, almost angry.

“I promise”

“Cross your heart, hope to die?” Rosa let out a sad giggle.

“Cross my heart hope to die.”

“And I’ll shout at you for getting me that troll”

“I never doubted that, Draco”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Leave a comment/kudos/bookmark or just have a wonderful day!


	10. Lying to One's Mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A super short one, I know. I've already written the next chapter, it will be MUCH longer, I promise.   
> Thank you for everyone who has been reading, I hope you enjoy this one as well!
> 
> -V.

As the Hogwarts Express rolled out of the Hogsmeade station, Rosa was still looking for an empty compartment. For the last month she had kept to herself, not talking to the Golden Trio at all, though Granger had tried attracting her through sad glances. Malfoy Rosa only saw on Sundays for a moment when she gave his homework to him. He had refused to take any DADA work though. The Christmas Holiday came around too quickly, though having a break from Umbridge’s detentions.

She walked along the slowly less crowded corridor. She looks through every single glass door trying to find a compartment with absolutely no one in. That task ended up being more difficult than she had expected; every autumn she was early for the train getting to choose from multiple empty compartments. Right now, she couldn’t find one, continuing towards the end of the train.

Suddenly, Rosa felt a hand groping her bottom. She whipped around immediately and took out her wand simultaneously. In front of her stood a very amused Crabbe, together with Goyle, Nott and Malfoy. Crabbe held his hands up in defeat.

“Do you want to give me some too,  _ m’lady _ ?” he asked, crudely bringing his arm around her waist, which she very quickly slapped off.

“Excuse me?” she asked, offended. She took a step back defensively. Rosa was not expecting them to be handsy with her. “Oooh” the group echoed at her defiance.

“You haven’t heard that your little secret is out? Huh,  _ slut _ ?” Rosa took another step back when she heard the slur, asking for questions from the boy’s laughing comrades.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The group roared in laughter. Crabbe stood forward, looking angry.

“So you didn’t fuck Zabini last year? You didn’t suck off Croad at the Yule Ball? You weren’t seen snogging with Thomas in Knockturn Alley in August? You didn’t go and let Malfoy fuck your brains out in the dungeons just couple weeks ago? And I was about to be engaged to a fucking cheap whore!” he listed, looking at the Gryffindor girl with disgust. Rosa instead, looking shocked, turned her gaze to Malfoy. He didn’t look amused. 

“I thought I disgusted you, Crabbe. You must be pretty damn desperate for some action… I guess your little fiance can’t stand your troll face enough to suck your cock too” 

Crabbe’s hand went back readying it to bring it back to her cheek with force, Rosa flinched slightly, preparing for the slap. But it never came. Malfoy had grabbed Crabbe’s hand, and was holding it in place. 

“You might not get what she’s offering, but don’t fuck up the others’ chances” He growled, sounding like he actually meant it. Crabbe and Rosa scoffed at the same time. “ _ Nasum confractus _ !” she flicked her wand in front of Crabbe. He groaned in pain as the spell forced his nose to break. 

“Touch me again and I’ll break something you can’t heal” Most of the boys ran to their compartment to help Crabbe who was now whining like a child together with his constant groans of pain. Malfoy lingered for a moment. 

“Thanks” Rosa mouthed to him. He nodded a ‘you’re welcome’ and disappeared into the compartment. Rosa continued through the corridor before finally finding an empty one for herself. 

The ministry car was waiting for her outside King’s Cross station. It took her straight to her home, the two-story cottage just outside of London. To a regular wizard, the house was medium sized, to a pureblood it was tiny. There was smoke leaving from the chimney, the red bricks outside were faded and covered in fluffy snow. 

Rosa thanked the driver and shivering, dragged her trunk through the gates to the front door. Turning her open palm to a fist, she knocked the door three times. She took a deep breath, having no idea how she would spend her holidays. The door opened after a few seconds.

“Mother” Rosa greeted. Her mother was elegant as ever, wearing one of her more ‘casual’ warm dresses. She looked Rosa up and down through her nose; she had changed her outfit in the train, not daring to let her mother see her in Gryffindor colors. She was wearing a jacket, a pretty black button up and jeans. Her mother stayed silent for a moment, assessing and deciding on what to do with her. She reached out her hand.

“Give me your wand, Rosa.” she demanded. This wasn’t unexpected; her mother did this every holiday. It was a way of making sure that Rosa wouldn’t use magic outside of school illegally, just regular child protection. Rosa handed her wand over. 

“And your jacket” this confused the younger Dawn. “Now, Rosa” her mother said again with a very calm voice. Rosa stripped her jacket off and gave it to her mother. She hugged herself, craving the warmth from the house that was just one step away. 

“You understand why I asked you to spend the holidays here?” her mother questioned. Couldn’t this conversation be held inside the house?

“I… I assumed it had something to do with the Malfoy Ball on Christmas Day.” Rosa lied.

“That’s is only half of it.” the woman started. “You’re actions in school this year have been deplorable at best. First I hear that your reservation has been broken  _ and  _ that Crabbe has been engaged under your watch. Even though I explicitly told you to make sure you kept him. Delores told me how you acted around him, and how disgusted I was to hear of your actions. Secondly, I get a letter from Dumbledore himself telling me that someone has accused  _ me  _ of abusing you. And Delores tells me you’re friends with a mudblood--”

“We’re not friends--” Rosa’s explanation was cut off with a hardy slap to the cheek.

“How dare you talk over me?! You need to learn how to act like a proper lady and a pureblood. That is why you are here. Bottom line, you will not disappoint me again, Rosa.”

“I apologize, mother” Madilyn ignored her daughter’s apology.

“Now. I will fetch you later. You will stand here, for the moment being whilst Layla readys your room.” Madilyn took a step back and slammed the door in front of Rosa’s face. She took (a literal) shaky breath, trying to find some warmth from her own limbs.

“Layla!” she called. With a loud crack, a tiny house elf showed up next to her. “Could you take my trunk into my room, please?” she asked politely.

“Of course, Miss Rosa!” the little elf was about to apparate again with the trunk, but Rosa stopped her at the last minute.

“Layla… how long until my room is ready?” she asked hopefully.

“Oh, maybe 45 minutes? The Lady messed everything yesterday, I’m afraid.” the elf answered. 

“Could you please hurry up with it? I’m very cold” 

“YES, MISS ROSA!” the elf shouted in realization and apparated away. Rosa just kept hugging herself, shaking from the cold. She could see the carbon dioxide exiting her breath in a fog from her mouth. 

25 minutes passed. Rosa felt like an icicle, trying to keep warm and failing completely. The door finally opened, Layla the elf behind it. 

“Your room is ready, Miss Rosa!” she said proudly. Rosa scrambled into the house, falling to the floor and breathing in the warmth that was radiating from the fireplace. 

“Get up, Rosa, for crying out loud!” she heard her mother’s voice coming from the kitchen. Rosa took a deep breath and with much difficulty stood up. She started walking towards the stairs; her room being upstairs.

“Oh, no, darling. Your room has been moved downstairs.”   
“Downstairs? You mean the dungeons?” 

“Yes, darling. I needed to use your room as an office this fall. I had Layla move your things down. And please, put on something a little prettier. Also, Galla is going out shopping later for another elf. If you have any preference let me know”

“Galla?” 

“Another elf I hired” 

_ Shit. _

“Alright.” she just said, starting to move downstairs into the cold dungeons where she expected her ‘room’ to be for the next 3 weeks.

+++

“ROSA!” Madilyn’s roar echoed through the house on the morning of Christmas day. Rosa quickly ran up to the living room, not wanting to have her mother on a bad mood today. But judging by her tone she was angry. Not good.

As she made it to the living room, she saw her mother sitting on one of the armchairs, twirling an envelope in her hands. Rosa walked in properly and sat down onto the opposing armchair. 

“What is it, Mother?” she asked, genuinely curious over what she did wrong this time. 

“Have you been in contact with your Father lately?” Rosa didn’t let her expression waver. She simply shook her head, not trusting her voice to deny the accusation. Madilyn opened the envelope in her hands roughly and got out what looked like a Christmas card.

“‘ _ Happy Christmas, sweetheart. I hope the owl got to you in time. Have fun at the castle (you can still ask McGonagall to floo you in here, the stubborn witch owes me). Merry Christmas, I love you, Dad. _ ’ He has also given you a ring” the woman showed a simple silver ring to her with a moonstone in the middle. It was nothing fancy, but Rosa absolutely loved the look of it. And she didn’t want it to be tainted by her mother’s fingers. 

“‘I love you’ he says. Are you sure you haven’t been in contact with him, Rosa? Do not lie to me.” their eyes met.

“If we were wouldn’t he know that I was spending Christmas here rather than at the Castle? He sends me letters for time to time, but I’ve never answered one.” she lied. She had always answered every single letter her Father had ever sent her. She had just conveniently left out the part where she told him about where she was spending the holidays. 

“He’s calling you ‘sweetheart’” Madilyn clapped back.

“It’s his way of feeling like a proper Father, I guess.” 

“Why haven’t you told me about this before?” Rosa swallowed, trying to find logical excuses other than ‘I didn’t want to get beaten to death’.

“I didn’t think the information was that important, since I am not answering him. I always simply burn them when they arrive”

“Hmph” her mother was trying to catch her in a lie, but Rosa’s mask was refusing to slip. “Please let me know when he sends you another letter. I would like to keep his grasp out of reach from you. He’s been associating with the Order. I don’t want your reputation to take another blow because of him again” she said. Rosa nodded and stood up once more.

“Could I-- Could I get the ring, please?” she asked, warily. 

“Why in the world would you want it?” 

“I just… remember the mudblood in my dorm?” 

“Indeed, I do. What of her?”    


“I just thought it would be funny if a mudblood was wearing jewelry from a half breed” she said, desperately trying to imitate Malfoy’s evil smirk. 

“It seems that you are starting to learn, Rosa. Keep that up today in the Ball. Getting a new reservation would be very beneficial” with that, her mother handed the ring to her.

_ I can’t believe that fucking worked. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Leave a comment/kudos/bookmark or just have an amazing day!


	11. Smile! It's Christmas Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I couldn't wait posting this, I'm quite excited about this chapter (and the fact it's 8 pages long).  
> Thanks again to everyone who's been commenting or leaving kudos or bookmarking thank you so much!  
> Here's your reward, there's a bit more Draco/Rosa fluff in this one!  
> Hope you like it!
> 
> -V.

Rosa looked at the unfamiliar looking reflection in the mirror. Her mother had cut her hair neatly, it was now a little too short for Rosa’s liking; it stopped just before her shoulder. Her makeup was impeccably done and Rosa had to admit to herself that she did look quite pretty. Her dress on the other hand…

Madilyn Dawn was known for her dress sense, meaning that she would dress her daughter to every event. Rosa was questioning her mother’s fashion sense right about now. Her dress was pretty magenta, but it had a lacy turtleneck and long sleeves. It tapered at her waist and went down to her ankle. It was so plain and conservative, Rosa had no idea how her mother expected to score a reservation.

“Rosa, ready to apparate?” her mother called from upstairs. Rosa put on her most expensive earrings and walked up the stony stairs to the warmth of the living room. Madilyn offered her hand to her.

“Best behavior only, Rosa” Rosa sighed and grabbed her mother’s hand.

They apparated straight to the Malfoy Manor doorstep. Madilyn looked Rosa over nodded, and led them in. Rosa, as the youngest, stepped in first thought. They were immediately greeted by the hostess.

“Oh, dear, smile! It’s christmas time after all. You do look divine!” Mrs. Malfoy greeted her.

“My apologies and thank you, Mrs. Malfoy. I’m still getting used to apparition” Rosa said with her sweetest voice, desperately hoping that the witch would buy her excuse.

“Oh, of course, Miss Rosa. Draco was the exact same just a couple months ago.”

“Then I’ll know that brighter days are to come”

“Indeed, Miss Rosa. Please, if you may, there are food and drink in the ballroom. Mrs. Dawn, you have a beautiful eye for dresses, it is unbelievable--” Mrs. Malfoy went on greeting the guests one by one, but Rosa decided to abandon her mother at the first opportunity; she practically attacked an elf carrying glasses of champagne.

The ballroom looked like it did every other year, only the huge tree was this year decorated with a surprise-surprise Slytherin theme. Last year Rosa heard the theme was “purity” - another reason why the invite didn’t reach her door. The room was a proper winter wonderland, if you forgot the regular darkness that the room was engulfed in. The magixed snow did brighten it up quite a bit though. Rosa couldn’t deny it; the ballroom did look beautiful.

Rosa took a deep breath, and glass in hand, walked over to the closest cluster of purebloods in hopes to join the conversation.

“Ah! Miss Dawn, am I correct?” one of the wizards exclaimed, clearly more than slightly drunk. “Yes, sir, and you are--?”

“Greengrass, senior. My two girls speak of you continuously” Rosa bid the inside of her cheek, trying to keep her smile on her face. “Astoria is currently reserved to Draco Malfoy” the man added, looking down at Rosa with disgust. So he wanted to brag. Great.

“I hope you extend my congratulations, Mr. Greengrass” she said sweetly.

“Am I correct to assume you don’t have a reservation?” the man asked mirroring Rosa’s icky smile.

“For the moment being, I do not have one, no.”

“Hm… well, I wish you good luck with that… being a halfblood and all”

“Thank you, sir. If you’ll excuse me” Rosa swiftly left the conversation.

She bit her cheek dryly again, trying to keep her rebelling self out of the way for couple more hours. She forced a smile onto her lips, and walked towards the finger food buffet. She grabbed a tiny sausage roll.

She made her way towards the wall, wanting to be away from the conversations for the moment being. She compromised with herself to people watch, rather than start wandering around the Manor. She was on the receiving end of almost everyone’s glares, whoever’s gaze laid upon her. Most of the people were still talking about reservations and future engagements, but ministry politics was also another favourite subject of conversation. To them, the ministry was being too lenient towards Hogwarts and Dumbledore was given too much power over their children's’ education. Rosa rolled her eyes as she swallowed her little snack. She felt a presence fall on her left.

“Happy christmas, pureblood” the blonde boy sipped his drink.

“Merry christmas, Mr. Draco” she addressed him the way she always did in pureblood gatherings. He was expecting it.

“We have bets on you” he mentioned nonchalantly.

“I’m going to amuse you, Mr. Draco, but only because I’m bored to death.” she saw him flash his cunning smirk before she continued, “What are you betting on?”  

“How long you’ll last in here” he just said and took another sip of his drink. Rosa couldn’t help it; she let out a small laugh.

“Who bet the most money?”

“Blaise put 10 galleons on you leaving in--” he turned his wrist to look at his watch, “35 minutes” he finished. Rosa nodded, smiling, bowing her head down in greeting to the passing witch.

“What did you bet?”

“You’re leaving here in 10.” he just said.

“20 galleons on me making through the whole thing” Draco laughed, but nodded. He put his now empty class on top of the tray that a passing elf was carrying. He offered his arm to her. Her eyebrows shot up. “Come on. It’s not fair if you stand in the corner the whole time” Rosa rolled her eyes, but put her hand to the crook of Draco’s arm. He led her to another circle of witches and wizards.

“Ah, Mr. Malfoy! How do you do?” an older witch asked politely.

“How do you do, Mrs. Carrow? Have you had the pleasure of meeting Miss Rosa Dawn?” Draco introduced Rosa to everyone in the circle; most of them old Death Eaters from the war. Every single one of them shook Rosa’s hand with disgust, and wiped their hands on tissues very quickly after. The conversation quickly turned into politics, one that Rosa didn’t want to take part in.

“--Oh yes, mudbloods in Slytherin how ridiculous would that be!” one of the men laughed loudly.

“Miss Dawn, you are a Gryffindor, are you not?” one of the Ladies, Bulstrode, asked her.

“Yes, ma’am, I am. And trust me when I say that there is a mugg-- mudblood issue in my house.” she lied out of her ass, trying to seem as if she belonged in the circle. Just a quick comparison of dresses answered that question; Rosa felt like what she imagined Weasley felt like in the previous year’s Yule Ball.

“Miss Dawn, what is your view on the new laws set by the Department for the regulation and control of magical creatures, concerning your… circumstances?” a wizard called Mr. Locksbury asked out of the blue. Rosa furrowed her brows but kept her fake smile on.

“I believe that the changes were necessary, Mr. Locksbury. Though I do not understand what circumstances are you referring to”

“You are a half breed, are you not?” the man asked. Rosa’s jaw dropped open, and she felt her hand squeezing Draco’s arm tightly. Her mind was suddenly filled with anger, her sweet smile wavered.

“I beg your pardon, sir?” she asked sternly.

“Is your father not a mutty dog?” the man asked, the group around them laughing.

“How dare you disgrace my father’s name!” she raised her voice.

“Miss Dawn, you have to agree that you’re blood is not the cleanest around here. I’m simply just stating that whilst you have any right to be proud of your… ancestry, I don’t think any of us think you are worthy to be walking along these parts in someone like Mr. Malfoy’s arm” the man scoffed.

“I’m just trying to help her out a bit, Mr. Locksbury. Technically she is a lady after all, though… a beast lives within her blood” the group laughed.

Rosa took her hand off of Draco’s arm. “If you’ll excuse me” she bowed her head to the company, turned her heel and exited the ballroom. Suddenly her original idea of walking around the manor sounded extremely appealing.

She followed her muscle memory into a familiar hallway. She looked up into the ceiling, trying to find the dragon she and Malfoy failed to defeat as children. She couldn’t find it.

“They took it down when they got fed up with me trying to bring it down” the familiar voice came from behind her, she didn’t need to turn around to identify it.

“It seems that I have won” he said, proud of himself.

“I haven’t left, have I? Just looking for the toilet is all” she said, keeping her face expressionless.

“But you won’t be actually leaving before your mother--”

“It seems that I win, after all”

“Loophole” he sneered.

“Malfoy?”

“Hmm?”

“If you ever speak of my father like that again, I’ll kill you”

The blonde was taken aback by the statement, but didn’t really dare to speak against her. She was upset by the words, and he didn’t feel like getting a broken nose.

“Follow me” he said instead, moving past her and leading the way along the corridors towards an unknown destination. Rosa weighed her options; follow Malfoy or go back to the party. Following Malfoy sounded more appealing.

He lead them outside, to another familiar destination. It was cold though, for once Rosa was thankful that her mother has decided on long sleeves. They stopped at the bottom of a large tree. Rosa glanced up, and saw the treehouse; the warriors’ secret meeting place. A silent sirk grew on her lips.

“Nova” she said, and ladders came down for them to cimb up.

“You remembered” Malfoy stated, impressed.

“Hard to forget” They climbed up.

The treehouse had gotten an upgrade since the last time Rosa grazed its floor. It was clearly enchanted; inside it looked like a proper flat rather than just a singular room. It was furnished elegantly, though the two bean bags were still on the living room floor. Rosa noted that there was a  bathroom and a kitchen, she also speculated that behind a closed door.

“Look up” Malfoy said, smirking proudly of his ‘secret’ place. Rosa jumped slightly in surprise noticing the silver dragon sculpture on the ceiling. Malfoy snickered.  “Wanna bring it down? I need your wand work for that, since my hands will be occupied by a sword” he joked, getting a small giggle out of the reserved girl.

“Well, I apologize, I don’t have my wand on me” she said laughingly, still staring up at the dragon. It perplexed her, how in her youth she was so scared of the sculpture, and now she only found it beautiful. But Malfoy had stopped smiling altogether.

“You’re walking in the midst of Death Eaters and you don’t have a wand on you?” he questioned, genuinely confused by the girl’s previous statement. That in turn, confused her.

“What? Don’t your parents take your wand off of you when the holidays start?” Malfoy’s jaw dropped open. He answered her question by taking out his wand from his dress robes.

“She takes your _wand_ away from you?! Why the hell do you give it to her?” Rosa thought about it. She always thought taking her wand was something every parent did.

“Because… she takes it… for my security--”

“You understand that she only takes it so that you can’t defend yourself from her?” he stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Rosa’s mind was racing, her chest started slowly but surely heaving.

“No… I--she um… I’m confused” she said honestly, suddenly feeling extremely uncomfortable without her wand. Out of nowhere she felt Malfoy’s hands on her shoulders, moving to her upper arms and then back up again. He was comforting her sudden blown mind.

“Breathe” he reminded her. Rosa let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“I--I suddenly feel… really weird with--without my wand” she confessed. Malfoy’s hand grazed her neck, and she let out a sudden whimper in pain. Malfoy froze, his eyes turned dark and his expression looked rageful. He had to remind himself to breathe calmly. He took her hand and lead her into the bedroom. Rosa didn’t have the heart to tell him no; she had a hunch of what Malfoy wanted to talk about.

“Turn around” he said, voice calm. Rosa shook her head no. “I’ll heal them.” she shook her head again, but knew that Malfoy wasn’t offering his help; he was demanding.

“It’s not that bad”

Malfoy walked around her and started fiddling with the zipper of her dress. He didn’t pull it down yet, waiting for her permission.

“I’m not wearing a bra” she just confessed. Malfoy scoffed behind her.

“Not the first time I--”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not mine.” she cut him off.

“Oh.” He took a moment to gather his thoughts. So you’ve never--”

“The slut rumours are sadly utter bullshit” she said.

“Sadly?”

Rosa swallowed and walked to sit down onto the bed. She tried reaching for the zipper herself, failing miserably. She gave up after a couple of tries. Malfoy was standing still, not moving an inch.

“Sadly?” he pressed.

“It would be nice… if someone--um… I know you can’t relate but you know--”

“Spit it out”

“I’m just saying. It would be nice if--if someone showed interest. Obviously whoever that would be, they would run away after seeing my back so… it’s just a fantasy really. Having someone… to--to hold me?” she confessed, face blushing in embarrassment, not meeting the blonde’s eyes anymore. A silence fell, Malfoy was thinking. She had been right; he couldn’t relate.

“Why are you doing this?” Rosa asked, wanting to fill the silence with something. Malfoy snapped out of his thoughts.

“You’re wearing a turtleneck and long sleeves. What am I supposed to think, that it’s the new trend or that your mother put her filthy hands on you again?”

“That doesn’t answer the question” Malfoy sighed, sitting on the bed behind Rosa, starting to fiddle with the zipper again. “I made a promise when I was a kid. I broke that once. My warrior’s honor can’t take another hit” he said, sincerely.

“The vow stated that we would protect each other in battle. I don’t see any armies around here” Rosa felt how the zipper was now traveling down her spine, exposing her fresh marks.

“Then how come you’re wounded?” Malfoy said.  He was staring at Rosa’s exposed back, the old scars were on their place, but there were multiple new ones. Couple bruises, but what drew his attention were the 7 fire red slashes that weren’t there before. One of them went up to her neck, a simple reason for the turtleneck.

“You okay if I push the dress off your shoulders? Just up ‘til your elbows, you can keep the rest up so you don’t flash me.” Rosa just nodded, her head now hanging low. It was always humiliating showing her back to someone. Malfoy may have seen it twice before, but since there were some new add-ins, it only made Rosa feel more disgusted with her own body. Most the skin in her back was so ugly; raised or bruised.

“Stop thinking like that” Malfoy said suddenly, as he rose from the bed to walk into the bathroom quickly. Rosa watched, brows furrowed in confusion. Malfoy walked back in with a small towel and a bowl of what Rosa believed to be water. She felt as the bed tipped again behind her.

“What do you mean? You’re not a Legilimens”

“It’s not difficult to guess.” Rosa gasped slightly when a wet towel made contact with one of the slashes. “It’s just a diluted skin-tear potion. It should cleanse and seal up--”

“It won’t work”

“Huh?”

“There’s a reason why the elves do the beatings. Their magic… you can’t heal the scars. And they normally need to just heal the muggle way. I’ve tried everything to get rid of them permanently--”

“I told you to stop thinking like that” he said, going through her whole back with the cloth, washing and re-dipping it into the bowl every so often.

“Like what?” Rosa asked, now growing agitated.

“That you’re ugly because of them. Or that no one wants you because of them” Rosa’s head dipped again.

“Where’s the lie in those statements? I believe your first words were ‘motherfucker’ when you saw them”

“That’s because you didn’t warn me and you know it.” Something cold hit one of the slashes, making Rosa jump slightly.

“Numbing salve. Should ease the pain” he spread more of the cold cream on to the marks with his delicate fingers.

“How can you be such a dick out there but almost kind here?” Rosa thought out loud.

“You’re not the only one who has to keep a mask on, Rosa. There’s a reason why we prank you every year, did you ever think of that? We need to keep our reputations around each other. You-Know-Who is starting to recruit people and I’m just trying to avoid it. That means blending in, something you’re not so good at.” Rosa scoffed.

“He wouldn’t want me”

“That’s where you’re wrong. You’re a Gryffindor, I hear your dad’s in the Order. Would make one hell of a spy” Malfoy could feel Rosa freezing with the uncomfortable thought of Voldemort trying to get her to join his ranks. She was terrified by the simple idea of being branded with the same tattoo that grazed her mother’s skin.

Malfoys hands were back at her shoulders and upper arms, soothing and relaxing her. He had leaned in, his mouth now next to her ear.

“Don’t worry, Rosa. Warrior’s honor, remember?” his lips were then on her shoulder on top of one of her scars just a small comforting peck. Something about the gesture made butterflies tumble in Rosa’s stomach, a feeling she was not accustomed to. Weird. Malfoy zipped up her dress. The weight behind her left once more. Blinking a couple times to get rid of her now flying thoughts, Rosa stood up. Malfoy had left the room.

“You have a purse don’t you?” his voice came from the living room.

“Yeah, why?” Rosa walked towards his voice. He appeared at the door frame, hands full of  tiny little bottles and vials.

“Open it” he ordered. She did. Malfoy put seven green vials into the purse.

“Green, that’s for the pain. Don’t overuse it just small sips once a day, ok? It’s addictive” he told her. He continued, putting in five red vials. “Red is for the scars. It won’t get rid of them but it will reseal them. Take a sip if you notice blood on your sheets after sleeping” Rosa was just staring at the boy in shock rather than the vials themselves. She managed a tiny nod in understanding. He put in three blue bottles. “Draught of Dreamless sleep. Don’t think for a second I didn’t see those huge dark circles of yours under that layer of makeup. But it’s the same as the pain potion. Only when you need it. You don’t want to get addicted to this stuff” Another nod. Finally, Draco only had one bottle in his hand, a tiny black one. “This… draught of the living dead”

“Why would I need it?”

“Rosa, I hope you won’t. But if your mother hurts you too much-- or… or if you’re too tired to take another beating. Make the elves give it to her. It won’t hurt her, because I assumed you wouldn’t want poison--”

“Do you have any?”

“I’m not dumb, Rosa. If I had any I wouldn’t give it to you. You’re not a murderer and will never be one” Malfoy placed the black bottle on top of all the other ones; Rosa’s purse was basically bursting.

“Thank you, Draco” Rosa finally met his concern filled eyes. She stepped forward and put her arms around him in a silent hug. “Thank you, Draco” she said again. Draco responded to the hug, though he was trying to be careful, thus he placed his hands quite low on her back where he knew the scars weren’t as prominent. As Rosa’s stomach did another somersault, she parted the hug.

“We should get back” she just said, quite bitter; she would much rather spend the night in the treehouse than in the party.

“Ready for me to torment you again?” Rosa nodded.

“As long as you don’t bring up my father” Malfoy scoffed, and opened the latch to release the magical ladders back down to the ground. He was about to start climbing before looking back at Rosa.

“Rosa Dawn. Just so you know… If you want someone to hold--like a hug or something… Or if you need help--”

“As long as you’re not around Slytherins, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you” Rosa really tried to keep the resentment out of her voice; she did appreciate his help. There was a nagging feeling in the back of her head. They were both being idiots by not being affiliated publicly to save their reputations. But who’s reputation would take a hit i they were seen with the other, and who would get praised for the new connection? Rosa put those thoughts to the back of her head and climbed down the ladders, back to the familiar ground.

When the pair walked back into the ballroom, most of the guests turned to stare at them. Rosa’s mother was smiling proudly, whilst Mr. Malfoy was looking quite appalled. Draco technically dragged them towards the group of witches which both of their mothers were part of. They greeted the group.

“Miss Dawn. My daughter has talked a lot of you” Mrs. Parkinson greeted her.

“All good I hope” Rosa spoke.

“Is it true that you are not pure?” Rosa sighed, more addressing rumours. Great.

“I’m half-blood, yes.”

“Oh, no, everybody knows _that_ . Apologize if I’m being blunt, but it seems that you have been _bedded_ by quite a few people” Rosa’s eyes widened. Her mother’s jaw dropped.

“Where do you get these rumours, Catherine?” Rosa’s mother butted in.

“Oh, Madilyn, it’s everywhere. The Greengrasses called her a cheap whore just a few minutes ago! I mean, Mr. Malfoy, did you two not spend a night a while back?”

“I--” Draco started but was cut off very quickly cut off by the woman.

“I mean, Madilyn, you talk about finding reservations, but you can’t expect to find one with the reputation your daughter has. Why do you think the Crabbes broke it in the first place? Rumour has it she jumped to the first Gryffindor’s bed she could find.” The witch smirked, knowing well what she was doing to Rosa’s reputation. Rosa tensed, Draco noticed.

“Mrs. Parkinson, if I may. Do you really think that I would lay with her? She’s a halfblood, for crying out loud!” Once again, Rosa dropped her arm from the crook of his. He wasn’t lying about that mask of his; he really was a completely different person in public. Here he was Malfoy the prat, whilst when they were together he was… Draco. Rosa knew which one she preferred.

“Well… that’s one crossed off her list then” Mrs. Parkinson said, smiling cunningly.

“Rosa, I believe it is our time to leave. Thank you for the beautiful party Narcissa. Draco. Give Lucius my best. Rosa.” her mother spat out, fire behind her eyes.

“Of course, mother” Rosa said, walking up to her and offering her elbow to her, and walking her out of the ballroom, saying her own goodbyes to the hosts. Before they had the chance to walk out of the main door, Draco ran up to them, looking worried.

“Mrs. Dawn!” he called, panting. She turned to face the boy.

“Draco. Did I forget something?” the old witch asked.

“No, I simply wanted to apologize for--”

“Draco, you don’t need to be sorry for bedding my daughter. It’s her pride that is in the line, not yours. I do thank for your concern though.”

“No, Mrs. Dawn, Miss Rosa and I are simply… friends. Nothing more. The rumours are lies.”

“Mother, can I talk to Mr. Draco alone for a moment, please?” Rosa butted in.

“Absolutely not. Say your goodbyes and we shall apparate home immediately.” the stern witch answered.

“Mr. Draco, thank you for having us”

“Of course, Miss Rosa, Mrs. Dawn. Stay safe” his face was filled with concern. He had a pretty good idea as to what her future held.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!  
> Leave a kudos/comment/bookmark or just have an absolutely wonderful day!


	12. Terror Now, Terror Then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo~~~  
> I wanted to post yesterday but a little thing called my 20th birthday got in the way. Soz. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter has some clear description of scars and bruises and abuse. Just so you know, if you're not comfortable with that kind of thing. 
> 
> Thank you for everyone who has been reading, I hope you like this one as well!

**_THE ELVES RIOT; DAUGHTER OF SACRED 28 GRAVELY INJURED_ **

**_According to new information (and rumors coming from Hogwarts Castle), the now disgraced Dawn Family didn’t have the sweetest of Holidays. According to Ministry Official from the Care of Magical Creatures and Beings Division, this could not be the last violent attack from Elves towards their Masters._ **

**_Not only was the Lady of the Dawn house dosed with Draught of the Living Dead, the family’s youngest; Rosa, was reportedly almost beaten to death by the family’s servants. She was treated in St. Mungos for 9 days before given the clear to continue her studies at Hogwarts; conveniently just as a new term has started. According to student sources, her injured state has raised commotion among Hogwarts Staff and Students - reportedly she looks ‘like she was hit by a [muggle] car’._ **

**_We here at Daily Prophet, wish her a speedy recovery._ **

**_\- Rita Skeeter_ **

 

When the new term started, professors had handed the copy of Daily Prophet to every single student in the castle. It was their way of telling the students not to be alarmed over Rosa’s appearance, though no one had seen her - yet. 

Hermione was terrified and her face paled as she read the article. She knew not to trust Skeeter’s writings, but there had to be some truth in the text. No one had seen Rosa. Not in the Common Room, not in classes, not in meals, nowhere. A gnawing guilt took over the bushy haired Gryffindor as she read the article over and over again. 

“You don’t think… She was beaten because her mother found out about… her telling others?” she whispered to the boys who were also nose deep into the article. Harry was taking the news the worst; he was the one who had gone to Dumbledore after all. 

“I don’t know… I mean… there could’ve been a elvish riot--”

“Do you  _ really  _ think that the elves would just suddenly beat their masters, Ron?” Hermione clapped back, furious.

“Then maybe something else happened over the holiday” Ron was trying to comfort his two best friends, but doing an absolute miserable job. He felt bad for the girl, but between Dawn calling Hermione a mudblood and a Death Eaters attacking his father, he didn’t have much guilt or care for the girl. 

“We should’ve taken her into the Headquarters. She said herself her Father works for the Order. Instead we just let her walk straight into her mother’s claws” Harry mumbled under his breath. 

“And what? Let her spill the secrets to her Marked mum?” 

“Ron!”

“I’m sorry, ‘mione, but I just… I don’t trust her! There is a reason why she knows nothing about the DA! I’m not saying that she deserves all this…  _ and _ we don’t even know if it’s that bad! No one’s seen her it’s just rumors right now” 

“Then we wait. And if she needs help, we help her.” Hermione said, nodding to her own ideas.

“And there’s no way in hell we’ll let her go back to that woman for the summer. We have to find out who her dad is.” Harry agreed. 

+++

Compared to the Golden Trio, Draco was an absolute mess. He knew that the Gryffindors hadn’t seen Rosa; for once in his life he was keeping his ear open for rumours. He also knew that she had to be in the castle. And lastly, he knew that he had potions with the Gryffindors as his first lesson of the week, Rosa was not one to skip potions. 

Professor Snape and someone, who Draco presumed to be Rosa were already in the classroom when the Slytherins entered it together. Rosa was in the very front of the class, sitting alone in the seats that no one ever occupied because who would want to sit that close to Snape? She had also drawn up her hood, so no one except for Snape could see her face. But what took all of Draco’s attention as he sat down on his favorite spot in the center of class, was the black wooden cane that was leaning against Rosa’s table. 

Pansy snickered; she had been very amused as she read through the Prophet article. She was now confidently making her way towards Rosa, sneaking up behind her. Draco knew she was trying to bring her hood down, to see if the rumors were true. But before Pansy could reach Rosa’s hood, Professor Snape was between Rosa and the Slytherin.

“Miss Parkinson” he sneered, looking down at the girl in disgust. Pansy’s confidence wavered and her smirk diminished. 

“Professor?” she questioned, trying to act innocent. 

“Would you like to explain to me why you are not on your seat?” the teacher growled.

“I was just checking up on Dawn, sir” she explained, batting her eyelashes.

“Well, miss Parkinson… I would advise you to learn how to respect your peers or you’ll end up cleaning cauldrons later this evening. I know you tend to destroy a few too many throughout the term. 10 points from Slytherin” Every pair of eyes widened in the classroom. No one had ever witnessed Snape taking points from students in his own House. Draco came into a very quick conclusion; Rosa’s condition had to be worse than the article made it seem. 

When the bell rang Draco packed his things slowly, letting his friends leave together with the Gryffindors before him with the excuse of talking to the Professor. He noticed that Granger seemed to have a similar plan. Rosa was still staring forward, not moving an inch. 

Professor Snape’s eyes went back and forth between Draco and Granger expecting for them to leave, but neither was moving. Their eyes were firmly on the back of Rosa’s head. 

“I’ll answer your queries on a later date.” He started walking towards Rosa, stopping by her side like a personal lifeguard. “ _ Leave _ ” he ordered. Granger didn’t need to be told twice; she immediately exited the classroom. Malfoy lingered.

“Draco--” Snape started, but cut himself off when Rosa reacted to the identity of the student behind her. Draco took a few slow steps forward.   


“Rosa D--” he stared.

“Go away. Please.” her hoarse voice shouted, still staring forward. 

“But--”

“Leave, Draco. We’ll talk later” the professor commanded once more. Since when did he care so much for the Gryffindor girl? Draco eventually nodded, and slowly made his way towards the door. Before he exited, he turned around to look into the classroom once more. Professor Snape had offered Rosa his hand, and he was helping the struggling girl onto her feet. 

“Shit.” Draco swore under his breath and left to find his friends. 

 

Rosa didn’t show up to the rest of the classes, lunch or dinner. According to the grapevine she wasn’t in the Gryffindor common room either. Simply, no one knew where she was. And Draco was slowly descending into insanity. He didn’t even know why he was so concerned, it’s not like anyone else really cared about her well-being. NOT that he did either. He just wanted to see her, like everybody else. To see if the rumors were true. 

But the girl had to eat, right? The only logical conclusion was that she was sneaking into the kitchen, most likely after curfew. This was one of the first times that Draco was actually so happy to have an Inquisitorial Squad badge pinned to his robes. So. he waited by the painting of the fruit bowl. 

He heard silent footsteps approaching and the hopeful gleam of a lumos charm. The steps were slow and accompanied by another sound, which Draco assumed to be the wooden cane. He took a few steps forward towards the sound, which quickly stopped. The gleam disappeared behind the corner. Draco moved silently towards the spot where the hallway split into two, behind which he knew she was hiding (or who he believed to be her). Knowing Rosa Dawn, she wouldn’t turn back, she would wait. She would be hungry. Draco knew that. 

He was now leaning by the corner. One swift move and he would be face to face with her. He took a silent deep breath, lunged himself off of the wall, turned and cast Lumos. He felt his breath leaving his body. 

The eye that met his own pair went wide in shock. Rosa Dawn quickly turned around with a painful groan to conceal her face from the boy, but was too late. The damage had been done. She knew that, which is why she didn’t run away (not that she could run in her condition). Draco had frozen in that moment, shocked, mouth dry. 

Rosa Dawn was almost completely unrecognizable. Her left eye was purple and swollen shut. A red horizontal gash came up to her cheek from the depths of her collar, which was surrounded by a mostly-healed bruise. Her bottom lip was swollen with a cut on it as well. She had bruising around her neck, as if someone had choked her and barely kept her alive. Above her right eyebrow was yet another cut, but deeper a purple/yellow tinted bruise around it. Her earrings had seemed to be ripped out of her ears, slicing her auricles in half. Her uniform covered the rest of her injuries, which Draco knew to be extensive. He took a shaky breath.

“Rosa Dawn. Turn around?” he asked, keeping his anger inside. He gripped his illuminating wand tighter and made his left hand promptly into a fist. He would not frighten her away with his wrath, he decided. To his surprise she did turn around, and looked at him straight in the eye.

“Mr. Draco” she greeted, bowing her head slightly in doing so. He noted that her voice was strained and hoarse, just a whisper compared to what she had sounded like just two weeks ago. Draco’s brows came together by the way she was acting. She only called him ‘Mr. Draco’ when both of their parents were around, since it was part of the pureblood etiquette. 

“Are--How-- How are you feeling?” he asked, trying to weave together his thoughts in a way that he could handle speaking out sentences.

“Taking in consideration the circumstances, I’m doing well. I thank you for your concern” she said, her familiar fake smile grazing her lips. 

“Circumsta--the “Attack” you mean?” Draco spat out at her, knowing that the story was complete bullshit.

“Yes. The elves heard some nonsense of wages and proper treatment from an elf called ‘Dobby’. Ridiculous really. When we refused, they attacked. This is the result of having seven elves attacking you at once” she explained.

“Last summer you had two elves” 

“My mother bought quite a few more” 

“Why would your tiny cottage need seven elves?!” Draco was growing agitated with her prim and proper act. 

“They were not hired to do house work, that’s for sure” Rosa mumbled under her breath. Draco’s eyes widened in fury. She was lying out of her ass. 

“What about the draught of living dead?” he asked, still trying to break her mask.

“Oh yes, my poor mother. I didn’t even know that we possessed such a potion. The elves certainly tried to poison her. I would say that I got away easy”

“Why do you lie to me when you know that I already know the truth?”

“If you’d excuse me, Mr. Draco, I would want to pay a visit to the kitchens.” she wanted out of this situation, quick.

“Stop that!” he raised his voice.

“Have I done something to offend you, Mr. Draco?” she asked, acting oblivious.

“What is this pureblood bullshit you’re trying to pull?!”   


“I apologize if I have.” she just said, ignoring his comment.

“What did she do to you?” Draco asked, silently, on the edge of giving up.

“What you are implying Mr. Draco, is ridiculous and extremely insulting to my family. I request that you end it at once.” 

“So if I asked you to describe your father what would you say?” Draco challenged. Rosa froze for a moment before opening her mouth once more.

“I would tell you the truth. That he is a disgusting half breed who has no place to be in correspondence with me.” she said, not flinching once.

“Couple weeks ago you would’ve slapped me for asking that”

“Is that what do you think of me? That I have the manners of a mudblood?” Draco didn’t like how the word sounded coming from her lips. It wasn’t right. He came up with an idea.

“I’m older by a few months and a  pureblood male, meaning that you listen to my word” he said, face stern. He knew the etiquette. If this was how she wanted to play, he would play.

“As it is my duty, Mr. Draco” she said sweetly. 

“Tell me the truth” he commanded.

“I have only told you just that” Draco nodded, knowing that in this case she wouldn’t budge.

“Are you in much pain?” Rosa Dawn’s eyes shot up to his in surprise. She took a moment before answering. 

“The Medi Witches of St. Mungo’s and Madame Pomfrey have been most helpful with potions and painkillers. I do thank you for your concern--”   


“How bad is it under your uniform?” he saw her jaw tense.

“It is worse than what you saw before, Mr. Dr--”

“How bad?” She hesitated for a moment.

“No skin left untouched where it is the worst” 

“Have you got medication?”   


“Yes, I do, Mr. Draco.” 

“She broke you, didn’t she?” his voice was barely a whisper.   


“I haven’t the slightest idea as to what you are referring to, Mr. Draco. I suggest you stop trying to insult my family” she said, trying to sound strong but it came out as pleading. 

“I’ll take you to the kitchens” Draco said out of the blue. 

“No, you shan’t. I do not have a chaperone. It would not be proper” Rosa rejected. 

“Am I not older and a pureblood and a male?”

“You are, Mr. Draco. I do not intend to insult you in any way, and I apologize if I have. I merely am saying that as a reserved young man, as a eligible young man, it would be inappropriate of me to have dinner in your company without anyone else present” 

“Are you not pulling this perfect pureblooded etiquette bullshit? Because if you are, you do exactly as an older male says to you” he said, desperately trying to find her behind her emotionless exterior.

“Draco.” she said faintly as she lifted her eyes (well, eye, since the other was swollen shut) back to his. This time Draco saw the dread, the fear in them. Rosa Dawn’s mother had done something different this time. Rosa wasn’t someone who was afraid of a beating. She wasn’t afraid of her mother. But that was all he could see in her eyes. _ Sheer terror. _

+++

_ A girl was scared. It was very early morning, the full moon was descending and the sun was about to rise. But the girl was terrified. A nightmare had crept into her mind and violated her normally happy repeating dreams. _

_ In the land of magic, where she was to marry a handsome prince, an ugly monster had crashed the wedding. And it was not just any monster: it was a huge hybrid between a centaur and a vampire - cold and sneaky, and at least three times the size of the girl. The creature had been hungry for revenge; hungry for blood and had engulfed her prince with one big bite. Just as the monster turned to her, she snapped awake, tears rolling down her puffy cheeks. _

_ Right after she opened her eyes, she jumped down from her bed and ran to where she knew her father’s bedroom was. Her tiny steps echoed in the dark halls. The girl was frightened when she heard an odd creak coming from somewhere. She cried, and banged on the locked door of her daddy’s bedroom. She screamed and banged on the door as the sun started to creep out from behind the horizon. The beautiful singing of the morning birds was ruined by the sobs and cries of terror coming the child.  _

_ The girl heard a familiar sound from the other side of the door. The sound of green fire. She wasn’t allowed to ever touch the powder that created the magnificent flames, but enjoyed seeing her father disappear and reappear with it. It was their peekaboo game. She banged on the door with her now aching fists. The door immediately opened.  _

_ “Oh, Rosa” the girl’s father exclaimed and took the child to his embrace, lifting her up into his arms. Rosa cried to her father’s chest, fear still overtaking her. She hadn’t had the chance to even see her father exhausted and disheveled exterior. But her daddy petted her hair, comforted her, filled her little heart with all the love he had for her. _

_ “Daddy there was a monster” she cried, tears pouring down to her cheeks. The girl’s father took out his wand; one that she loved playing with though he would always get cross with her when she did. The scrawny man carried the girl to her own little room, walls painted yellow.  _

_ Where’s the monster, sweetheart?” the man asked, peeking into the room warily. _

_ “No, not here, daddy. It was in the dreamland” _

_ “In the dreamland?” her father put his wand back to his robes, taking a silent breath of relief. She didn’t notice, but still held her father tight, hiding in his strong arms. _ _   
_

_ “Yeah” _

_ The wizard smiled and gave his daughter a kiss on her puffy cheek. “The dreamland monsters can’t hurt you, Rosa. If they try, you’ll wake up and realize that it was all a dream. Nothing can hurt you there, it’s your own little place” he explained. _

_ “But the monster killed the prince” the girl sobbed. _

_ “I promise that the next time you close your eyes your prince will be there again. Monsters can’t kill true love, princess” _

_ “But… what about the other monsters? Outside of dreamland?” the girl asked, suddenly scared again.  _

_ “Rosa. As long as I am your father, which is forever, no one will hurt you. If a monster is hurting you and daddy doesn’t know, you have to tell me, ok? I will always protect you, Rosa”  _

_ “Because monsters can’t kill love?” _ _   
_

_ “ _ _ Exactly. Now, you still have couple hours to sleep, why don’t you go see that prince of yours? I think he must be waiting for you”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Leave a comment/kudos/bookmark or simply have a lovely day!


	13. Outside Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!   
> Thank you for reading this little fic once more, lovelies~

_ Ok. One step at a time. _

_ Yeap, that hurts.  _

_ Just a couple more.  _

_ Fuck. _

_ Ok. Small break. _

_ I can do this. _

Rosa wanted to sleep in her familiar bed. The bed in the place she had called home for the past four and a half years. And if that meant that she had to climb up stairs into the Gryffindor tower, then so be it. 

She quickly saw the fault in her plan. She could barely walk in her current state; she needed help to stand up from a sitting position. She was left utterly humiliated when this morning she had been woken up by Professor Vector and the teacher had had to help her out of bed. It was embarrassing not having independence, so she decided to abandon her private quarters which she was graciously given when she came back to the Castle. 

She was standing almost in the middle of the moving staircases, using her regular shortcut route towards the Common Room. It had taken her already a good 45 minutes compared to her regular speed of 10, and she wasn’t even close to her destination yet, plus, she was extremely exhausted already. The stairs themselves felt like they were conspiring against her, moving every now and then towards easy routes back to the first floor. Rosa cursed the stairs and stubbornly waited for the stairs to change again. 

She was leaning her body to the railing, whilst her other hand was white, clenching around her cane. Her breathing deep and slow, biting her teeth down not to whimper in pain every time she took a new step up. She stopped every four steps, just standing still for a good moment before stepping up again. The problem she was facing right now, was that her “moments” were getting consistently longer and her breaths were getting shallower. She was profusely sweating and letting out groans of pain from time to time. Curfew was, of course, long gone by and the gnawing feeling that Filch was out and about was very much present in the back of her head.

“Fuck you” she cursed the staircase for changing again just as she was about to reach a new floor. The steps attached themselves to a new platform. Rosa raised her eyes and saw a very curt looking McGonagall standing in front of her. Rosa cursed again under her breath and tried to correct her posture instead of staying in her crouched position. The teacher noticed that the girl was suddenly flustered.

“Don’t bother, Miss Dawn.” the professor said simply and took a few steps down, tapped the staircase once and it obediently moved to its original position. McGonagall linked her arm together with Rosa’s and half carried her into the next platform. Rosa had tensed up, not liking the way the professor had touched her without her permission. She assumed that the witch noticed, since she took her arm back to herself instantly.

“What do you think you’re doing, Dawn?” the teacher asked, folding her arms expecting answers. Once more, Rosa tried to correct her posture, and with a stable platform underneath her feet she actually succeeded. 

“I’m on my way to the Common Room, ma’am” she had to clear her throat right after, trying to get some more strength to her voice. 

“At quarter to eleven?” the older witch pressed.

“I started climbing the stairs 45 minutes ago, professor. I know even then it’s after curfew, I apologize. I’ll serve detention for this gladly or-- or you can take house points. I simply wanted to sleep in a familiar bed. I hope you don’t need to write home--”

“Now, why in world would I do such thing?” Rosa’s eyes went up to her Head of House in surprise.

“I’m… I’m breaking school rules, ma’am”

“And I’m noticing that you are repenting your actions. I won’t punish you today, Miss Dawn. But if this happens again, I’m inclined to do so. Now, would you explain to me why you are trying to get into the Gryffindor Tower without assistance?” 

“I can get up there with enough time, Professor.”

“ _ Or  _ you could tell me of your intentions beforehand, and I would be able to help you. And you wouldn’t need to dance around after curfew in pain” the woman scolded. 

“I apologize, Professor”

“Quite alright. The next time I won’t be so kind.” with that, McGonagall took out her wand, swished it a few times and the platform they stood on separated from the wall and started gliding upwards like an elevator.

“Oh.” Rosa just said, still holding onto the railing that thankfully stayed intact with the platform.

“How do you think students who are hurt in Quidditch games or who are disabled move around with all these stairs about?” McGonagall laughed. “The incantation is “ _ Erigo _ ”, simply tap the platform with your wand”

“What if I want to go down, ma’am?” Rosa suddenly asked, glad to have some of her independence back.

“Oh, you must’ve realized today that the Castle likes to think for itself. The stairs will know where you want to go” The platform halted, right next to the Fat Lady’s portrait. “I believe you will be able to go on from here by yourself?”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you” 

“Dawn. Please do remember what I said. Hogwarts will help those who ask for it. But it can only help those who are ready to receive that help” Rosa looked straight into the ground. Eventually, she gave the witch a tiny nod. She limped into the common room, heavily relying on her cane. 

+++

Rosa could feel  the mudblood’s eyes on her when she woke up. She hadn’t open her eyes, but the simple feeling of the brunette’s gaze had hit her immediately. 

_ Mudblood. Mudblood. Mudblood. Mudblood. Treat her as such. _

Rosa warily opened her eyes, looking around the dorm room. All of the other girls had left for breakfast, Rosa was now cursing herself for not closing the curtains around her bed for the night. There were bound to be ridiculous rumors around the Castle today since she had been finally sighted. 

Rosa could see how the mudblood’s hair swished around, the bushy back of her head wasn’t the sight Rosa had expected to wake up to. She shifted slightly.

“A-Ah!” she exclaimed, the pain suddenly back. There was a slight wetness under her shirt and a definite iron smell in the air. Blood. Rosa let out a long breath, she reached her hand out into the air.

“ _Accio Blood Replenishing Potion_ ” she incantated with her hoarse voice. Nothing happened. 

“ _ Accio Blood Replenishing Potion! _ ” she said again, this time a bit more loudly but with a hint of desperation in her tone. 

“ _ Accio _ \--” 

“Where is it?” the mudblood asked, noticing Rosa’s agony. 

“N-No” Granger could hear a hint of fear in her voice. “Your… your dirty hands aren’t-- aren’t touching my potion” 

“I’ll levitate it” Granger said, getting her wand out, (Rosa flinched slightly) not one bit offended by Rosa’s remark.

“No. Get-- get the-- other girl… Brown” Rosa ordered.

“Everyone is at breakfast”    


“Then I’ll wait”

“I won’t tell anyone that I helped you, if you’re scared to tell” at that Rosa scoffed.

“I’ve heard that one before, mudblood.” 

“Are you afraid of me?”   


“Me? Scared of a muggle who doesn’t have the right to hold a fucking wand? No.” Even Rosa could hear the lie in her words. Granger connected their eyes, hers were full of pity.

“You know, I’m the one holding a wand. And you can’t get out of bed by yourself. And you’re having trouble with a summoning charm” she listed, whilst counting with her fingers. “And I’m a mudblood. I think it wouldn’t make sense if you  _ weren’t  _ afraid” 

“I’m not afraid of you” Rosa said, trying to convince herself at the same time. She was not scared to get hit by a curse or a jinx; she was terrified of the idea that Granger would talk her back into friendship and back into her lies and back into her mother’s claws. If ignoring that meant acting like a proper pureblood, so be it. 

“I’ll get you someone who can help you out” she just said, turning back around and running out of the dorm. 

+++

_ Rosa. I would like to know how your Christmas holiday is going. Anyone you know spending the Christmas at the Castle as well?  _

_ I love you, _

_ Dad. _

_ P.S. Arthur is doing well and recovering. He thanks you for asking. _

 

_ \-- _

 

_ Did you receive my Christmas present? It’s not like you not to answer my letters. Is everything alright? How are you? _

_ I love you, _

_ Dad. _

 

_ \-- _

 

_ Rosa. Answer to my letters now. I will not hesitate to contact your mother. Ok, that’s a lie, but it’s not above me to send an owl directly to Dumbledore. Please answer me. _

_ I love you, _

_ Dad. _

 

_ \-- _

 

_ Please tell me the Prophet is lying. Are you alright? Why wouldn’t you tell me that you were spending the holidays with your mother? Please write back this instant. _

_ I love you, always. _

_ Dad. _

 

Rosa’s heart hurt after reading the multiple letters her father had sent.  Everything in her body hurt, she couldn’t sleep properly, her blood had stained her sheets. Madame Pomfrey was helpful with potions but they couldn’t take all the pain away. It felt like a hundred knives were stabbing her as she walked or sat. She pushed through the pain, not wanting to have the student more of a reason to pity her. 

But her father’s letters hurt her heart. She had received the letters during Christmas, which she didn’t answer to. She wasn’t allowed to. Even now, she knew that she couldn’t answer the newest letter. 

_ It’s forbidden. _

_ What happens when you get caught doing something forbidden? _ _   
_

_ You get to go home for the holidays. _

Rosa shivered at the thought. No, she wouldn’t answer the letter, no matter how horrible it made her feel. It wasn’t proper. She was a bastard. Her father was a liar. It felt wrong to think badly of her father, but it was necessary to keep those ideas of answering out of her head. No, she wouldn’t answer to the one person she loved in this world. She wouldn’t. It was forbidden. 

She had taken out her wand, pointed at the piece of parchment, swished the wooden stick and spoken the words “Incendio” before the letter was engulfed by flames, making a small pile of black coal underneath them. 

Rosa had gotten enough of everyone’s stares, so she decided to skip lunch and instead walk straight to the Potions classroom early. People were obviously horrified by her face and for once in her life Rosa was thankful for the conservative uniforms.

“Ah. Miss Dawn, early as always” Professor Snape greeted her after she had opened the classroom door. 

“Professor. Is it alright for me to enter this early?” 

“I don’t remember you asking me that before, Miss Dawn. And I don’t remember any occurence when I protested your early presence.” he said, staring down at the book his eyes were fixated before she had turned up. “I actually have a favor to ask of you” the professor said, standing up and walking to her. He offered his arm to her, but did not touch her; he waited for her to do so first. With his help, Rosa sat down to the table nearest to the teacher’s desk. 

“Oh. What would that be, Professor?” she asked, curious. Snape walked back to his desk, opening a drawer and getting out a large stack of parchment. He laid them down in front of Rosa.

“All of these are from you father” Rosa’s eyes widened for a moment before she cleared her throat and got her mask back on.

“Why is he--”   


“You know why. All of the teachers are drowning with letters from him asking about your health and condition. He’s threatening to come to the school, no matter how many laws that would break. Now, the favor I ask of you is to send him something, a letter, a sentence,  _ anything _ that makes him stop this madness” 

“I apologize, Professor Sna--”   


“I’m not expecting to ask this of you. I’m telling you to do this, Miss Dawn”   


“I cannot directly go against my mother’s word”   


“Wouldn’t be the first time”   


“It would be inappropriate of me to be in correspondence--”   


“Miss Dawn, let me ask you a question. Do you remember the very first potions class this year?”   


“Yes, sir” Rosa answered quickly.

“Then you remember advising me to dose myself with a Memory potion?”   


“Yes, sir” Rosa answered once more, now growing more uncomfortable.

“Wouldn’t you agree that it was quite  _ inappropriate _ ?” he enunciated every words extremely clearly and slowly, just making Rosa feel more and more horrible as if she was about to be locked away forever.

“Yes, sir. I apo--”   


“Where did that young woman go?” Rosa’s eyes shot up to meet with the teachers. “I quite miss her” he had made his point. Rosa cursed him in her thoughts for actually fucking her thoughts over.

“Sir, even if I wrote him… she--Umbridge--”   


“Do you really think I am dumb enough to not put a concealing charm onto my owl. Use him, and the contents of your letter will stay safe, you have my word” Rosa took a moment.

 

“Sir, I hope you don’t get offended by me asking… but why are you trying to help me?”    


“Firstly, I’m quite irritated by your father’s stubborn questioning. In a single week, I alone have received close to twenty letters from him! I do not dare to think how many your Head of House or Dumbledore has received. It is ridiculous and I want it to end at once. Secondly,” he started, and considered what he would say. “Your situation is not a unique one” he simply said, not going into further detail. 

He grabbed his own quill and ink bottle with a small piece of parchment. He laid then in front of Rosa before retreating and sitting behind his desk once more. 

With shaking hands, Rosa grabbed the quill. She glanced at the greasy haired man, checking if this was a trap.

“I assure you, Miss Dawn. This letter will not bring you any more pain” 

“Liar” Rosa said, though she felt better. When the quill made contact with the parchment, Rosa quickly realized she had no idea what to say. But she once more felt a bit better, when her handwriting was barely legible. 

 

~~_ I’m ok. _ ~~

~~_ I’m not ok. _ ~~

_ Why do monsters bleed into real life? Why can’t they just stay in dreamland? _

_ \- R.D _

 

That was enough. Her father would know what she meant and if the mail was read, it wouldn’t condemn her. Hopefully. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if anyone can guess who her father is...... NO SPOILERS ARE GOING TO COME FROM ME! Patience is a virtue.  
> Thanks fro reading, I hope you liked it!
> 
> Leave a comment/bookmark/kudos or (who knows how it goes?) JUST HAVE A LOVELY DAY


	14. Identity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ another chapter for you, I hope you like it!

Rumours fly around the Castle way too quickly and they get blown out of proportion. I mean, she was only seen by a couple of Gryffindors and now everyone knew! She took detours to deter herself from her peers, not wanting to be stared at constantly. It didn’t need mentioning how anxious so many eyes on her made her feel, she felt like someone was constantly planning on attacking her..

Students, especially the Slytherins, liked to play with her fragile state from time to time. They would touch her randomly whilst her back was turned. They would raise their voices with threats around her. Rosa would try her best not to react, but most likely when something like that happened, she would limp to an empty classroom or a broom cupboard or a toilet where she could have a quick panic attack. Her slow movements made her a bit too easy of a target, but she was getting more nimble everyday and she hoped that after couple weeks she wouldn’t need her cane anymore. The snakes’ laughter echoed in her brain as she ran away. All the while, she kept up her perfect manners. 

She kept to herself like always, only now with more diligence. She ate all her meals in the kitchens and politely asked for the elves not to talk to her. She had survived through the days with minimal ridicule from the Slytherins. The swelling in her face had gone down, and she could see out of her right eye now though it was still an ugly purple.

Rosa drank too much calming draught, but it was the only way she could go to classes and be around people. She also drank too much dreamless sleep potion to rid her of her nightmares, not caring about how Draco had warned against it. 

But she was faced with a new problem as a new day arrived. She had ran out of her calming potions. She knew Madame Pomfrey wouldn’t give her more for another 2 weeks. Yes, she was self medicating but it had worked. She felt better when she downed two times the prescribed amount of the potion. She came to the conclusion that she would make some herself. Steal from the ingredients from the potions cupboard and quickly brew it in the potions classroom. But first she had to get through her classes for the day and without the potion. Skipping McGonagall’s class was not an option; the professor had made it quite clear what would happen if she broke the rules again.

She resolved her problem by taking detours. Used hallways that no one else did to get to class. Basically she was avoiding people like the plague. For the most part she was successful. But there were no detours or alternative routes to the Transfigurations classroom. She had to go through the Quad. There was no avoiding it. 

Thankfully, most of the students were in classroom already, but quite a few were still roaming the halls. Rosa elevated her pace, seeing the door, determined to make it there. She audibly swallowed. She felt panic rise in her chest as she brushed through students, most of them pitying her, some of them glaring, all staring. She heard footsteps behind her. She heard someone bickering in the distance. Suddenly there was a hand placed on her shoulder. 

Rosa whipped her body around, eyes widened, heart rate elevated, terrified. Behind her she saw some members of the Goon Squad. Crabbe was at the front, an evil grin on his face. Rosa felt her body freeze. “Hey there” Crabbe greeted, eye roaming through the frightened Gryffindor’s body. Rosa tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. 

Crabbe’s hand came to caress her cheek with the back of his fingers. The tears fell. None of the students around said anything. Most of them ran to class, or just walked off. They wouldn’t dare to stand up to the Inquisitorial Squad. “Don’t act like you don’t like it, slut” Crabbe said, and moved his hand down to her neck, caressing it in faked gentleness. The other boys baring the badge were sniggering behind him. Rosa took a shaky breath, her chest was starting to heave. His hand went down, closening to her chest.    
Rosa found some bravery and slapped the boy’s hand off, and took a few quick steps backwards. She tripped in her own feet. She screamed in agony, feeling her old injuries reopening and the blood starting to flow out of them slowly. Some of the boys took a step back, startled by the unfolding scene, though their smirks didn’t waver.

“P-please don’t-t” Rosa begged with a small voice.

“Did you hear that guys?  _ PLEASE DON’T _ she says!” Crabbe howled, and the other boys roared in laughter. “I don’t think she shrieked that when Zabini fucked her!” another roar of laughter. Rosa hugged her legs, tears dropping continuously. Crabbe leaned down to talk to the girl “Come on, be a good slut, Dawn. It’s all you’re good for” Rosa tried pushing herself towards the wall, but her limbs ached, refusing to move. 

“Stop-- please-- s-top don’t touch me, p-please-e--” she pleaded out loud as the images flew through her head. She shook her head trying to get rid of them. Her breathing was irrational, and quick, her chest hurt.

“I wonder if the elves fucked you too… should we check?” with that, the world turned dark and Rosa was thrown into her nightmares.

 

_ Rosa was blind. At least that’s what she felt like. The dungeon door was closed leaving her in the pitch darkness. She could feel the blood soaked mattress beneath her, and the smell of smoke seeped from underneath the door into her room. She couldn’t move.  _

Rosa felt herself being lifted up.

_ She could feel her mother’s hand on her shoulder. She could feel her steel cold fingers trying to reach her lovingly before they choked her dead. She felt her mother’s hugging arms on her back and finally her loving servants beating that same back raw. _

The air beneath her unmoving body moved, she could feel the tinkle of wind on her hair.

_ Layla, her elf, came to bring her a loaf of bread; her food for the day. She looked at her with pity. An elf looked at her with pity. She had a belt in her other hand, which Rosa was eyeing with fear.  _

_ “Layla…” _ _   
_

_ “The lady has ordered Layla--” _ _   
_

_ “What if you had a choice, Layla?” Rosa whispered, not that her voice could’ve done any better. “What if I told you my purse has a potion that can stop all this? If you give that to Mum, and then call up some medi-witches, everything will be better. I bet you would be able to work at Hogwarts. Wouldn’t you like that?” _

Rosa would’ve screamed if she could’ve. She was lowered onto a hard bed, and her clothing was being slowly removed. 

_ Madilyn was now in front of her, wand pointed straight at her. Rosa was on her knees on the floor, desperately trying to keep herself from completely collapsing. Madilyn eyes were full of fury and she was still wearing her elegant dress from the Ball.  _

_ “YOU SLUT!” she screamed, casting a couple more hexes and jinxes at her. “HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT REPUTATION IS EVERYTHING! FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT WALKS INCLUDES THAT! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO OUR FAMILY? YOU ARE A DISGUSTING WHORE!” the woman kept on shouting, though half of it Rosa couldn’t hear because of the ringing in her ears. _

Someone’s fingers traced couple of her scars on her stomach. It eased the pain. 

_ Still crouched on the floor on her knees, her mother shouting at her. Rosa put all of her energy into breathing, reminding herself of the potions that would ease her pain afterwards. But the thought went out the window when her mother’s voice became clear in her head again. _

_ “I’ll make you learn if it’s the last thing I do. You will be the Dark Lord’s, and you will serve him like I have served him. He won’t be as kind as I am to you when met with disloyalty. So, I’ll teach you and you’ll learn to be a Lady. Crucio!” _

_ Pain. It was all the she knew.  _

She felt her mouth being propped open and liquid running down her throat. 

_ She screamed until darkness once more took over, but this time the memories didn’t come back to haunt her. _

+++

Rosa shivered. She was cold. And accompanied by a nasty headache. She groaned lightly; she felt her back ache, but ignored it. Sleep. She wanted to sleep. She could smell the nasty odor of the potions and draughts; the smell of medicine. Hospital Wing, Rosa concluded and let the wave of relief hit her.

“--understand! Why wasn’t I informed?! She’s my daughter too!” Rosa heard the familiar voice somewhere in the depths of the Hospital Wing. If she would’ve been able to open her eyes, she wouldn’t have. The man who she was forbidden to be in correspondence was here. Her mother would kill her for this. 

“Madilyn has the custody of her, she’s the one we answer to” Oh. Professor McGonagall was here too.

“Well, I don’t see her anywhere! Don’t you see?! Do you really believe that elves would make Rosa look like _ that _ ?!” he roared in concerned rage. Rosa let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Her mother didn’t need to know of her father’s presence. 

“Why do you think we called you in?” Madame Pomfrey snapped, “If you please, keep it down or I will throw you out!” she concluded. 

Rosa moved her index finger up and down; now realizing that she had minimal control of her body started freaking her out. 

“Poppy, she’s moving” McGonagall said calmly. Rosa heard two sets of footsteps rushing towards her, and a pair of rough hands grabbing hers before the other could reach the bed.

“Rosa? It’s Dad. Can--can you hear me? Squeeze my hand” He blurted out in a rush. Rosa couldn’t manage a squeeze but she wiggled her fingers. 

“REMUS! OUT! NOW!” Madame Pomfrey shouted, but the grip of his hands didn’t leave Rosa’s.

“I’m not leaving my daughter!” He practically growled at the Healer. 

“Back up! 5 paces at least! Do it, or I will make you” Rosa felt a squeeze on her hand before the feeling was gone. 

“It’s all right, Miss Dawn. I’m going to feed you a couple potions now, dear. You’ve been out for the night, it’s almost 9 am now, Thursday, ok? Here’s the first potion--” Madame Pomfrey’s tone had completely shifted. Rosa would have protested if she could have as she felt the uncomfortable sensation of a potion being forced down her throat. 

“Poppy, please--” Rosa heard her father pleading in the distance.

“You keep your distance now, Remus” she just offhandedly said. “Here’s another one dear. Some for the pain, it’s a different one from the one your were using before, don’t think for a minute I didn’t see you abusing that one” she scolded as she poured the potion into Rosa’s mouth.

“MR. LUPIN, if you want to stay, you do not move!”

“She’s my baby! She’s hurt! I can’t just stand and watch!” Remus shouted once more a hint of desperation in his tone. 

“I’ve told you, she’ll be just fine. I need space to work and right now, I doubt Miss Dawn likes unconsented touch right now” Rosa wanted to nod in approval at the Healer’s words. “Last one now, dear. Then you can open your eyes and be as good as new” another potions took over Rosa’s mouth but this one tasted even worse than skele-gro. Rosa contorted her face in disgust before she realized she had the ability to do so again.  

The room was bright. That the first thing she noticed when she opened her eyes. She had to blink about a dozen times before her sight was sharp and used to the morning sunlight. The second thing Rosa saw was her father, Remus Lupin, standing exactly five paces away from her bed. Rosa noticed how he had heavy bags underneath his eyes and how they seemed to be moist with small tears. His face was red, but not angry. Rosa quickly averted her gaze.

She experimentally sat up, quite glad that it seemed not to hurt much. She let out a small whimper and Madame Pomfrey quickly moved her pillow to her back for her to lean on. 

“What happened?” she asked the healer, trying to ignore Remus’ presence.

“Do you not remember?” Madame Pomfrey asked, taking out her wand and muttering out a few spells. 

“I-- I do remember. I meant what happened after? When I passed out?” 

“Well… After Crabbe’s deplorable actions, which he will be punished mark my words, the Inquisitorial Squad ran away - the cowards. Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley found you and alerted Professor McGonagall. They brought you here. And… as I told you you were out overnight, about 22 hours I would say. Though part of that was my fault. I gave you some sleeping draught, since you were sleep deprived. And I switched your pain potions, and every bottle of it will be removed from your dormitory. I will not have a student dependant on anything under my watch. Also, your calming draught will be switched as well.” Rosa nodded. 

“Rosa…” Remus said, taking a step forward towards the bed. Rosa stiffened, not meeting his eyes.

“Why are you here?” 

“Miss Dawn, that would be my doing” Professor McGonagall said from further away. “Poppy?” she asked.

“Miss Dawn” the healer started, “when they brought you in, your back was bleeding, so I had to personally attend to your injuries. It occured to me, and don’t ask why the medi-witches at St. Mungo’s did not report this, that most of your marks… they are not consistent with a singular attack” 

“I don’t understand” Rosa said, trying desperately to keep a hold of her mask.

“Miss Dawn. Some of your scars go back years. Possibly even a decade” 

“No, no. You-you examined me  _ twice  _ in the past term. There was nothing to report then and now you tell me--”

“All of which could be easily taken care of with a simple glamour or a potion” Madame Pomfrey rebutted. “Which is why we contacted your father on this matter rather than your mother” 

“I have no business to discuss with Remus” Rosa said strong, still refusing to look at him.

“Rosa. Let me talk to you” Remus pleaded, taking another step towards her.

“Don’t! I-- you have never-- Stop-- hah!” Rosa felt her headache peak and her thoughts muddle. “Can I have something for the headache?” she asked the healer. Madame Pomfrey nodded and walked off into her office.

“I believe my business here is done. Remus, I expect to see you before you make your leave?” McGonagall asked, back already turned.

“Yes. Thank you, Minerva” the professor exited the Hospital Wing. Remus turned to his daughter once more.

“I just want to talk, Rosa” 

“Of what?!” Remus spread his hands in a pretend shrug.

“I don’t know? Your mother for instance?” 

“You can try and talk to me as long as you want, Remus, but that won’t change the fact that I keep Mum as my guardian”   


“I already filed for your custody”   


“ _ YOU WHAT _ ?!” Remus didn’t answer, instead he let Rosa process the information. 

“I can step out for a moment but that doesn’t mean we won’t have this conversation. You owe me some answers, you know that you do. And you know I can't keep you with your mother, if it was up to me you'd never see her again. I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that you didn’t tell me that this was happening sooner. But I’m happy that I know, now. I can fix this”   


“So you can pretend to be a father, like you always have?” Rosa mumbled under her breath.

“So that I can finally become one” he said. 

“Give me an hour” Rosa said, closing her eyes once more in concentration.   


“Ok. I… I’ll go talk to your friends then”   


“I don’t have any” Rosa quickly said. “We fell out. They ended up being traitorous idiots” 

“Well… I think I’ll enjoy their company nonetheless. Isn’t that the exact category you tend to put _me_ in?”    


“For now” 

“I’ll be back in an hour, Rosa” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID YOU GUESS IT? Tell me if you did or if you didn't/who you thought it was!
> 
> Thank you for reading, if you wish leave me a comment/bookmark/kudos or just have a lovely day!


	15. Quality Family Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 15 chapters! Over 70 pages. Damn.  
> Thanks for everyone who's reading/commenting/doing anything!! 
> 
> I hope you like this one, the next one will most likely come a little later - in the end of the week rather than in 3 days.

On his way to the Gryffindor Common room, Remus had to stop at a broom closet just get get his shit together. He rubbed his eyes, getting rid of the tear stains on his face. Seeing one’s daughter in that condition… Remus pushed the image of his ex-fiance beating Rosa into pulp out of his mind.

There was no debate; he had failed as a father. He had followed the laws and Madilyn’s wishes. That meant that the last time he had seen her was when he was a teacher at Hogwarts. During that time Remus saw more of his daughter than he had ever before. During that time she was being beaten he hadn’t noticed; he had been so bloody blind to everything.

“Fuck!” he shouted at the wall. There were so many things he had done wrong. He was supposed to protect the child by staying away. ‘A week a year until she goes to Hogwarts’ was their agreement, and he had been stupid enough to agree to it. Why had he?

An obvious excuse was that he was a werewolf and he was protecting her. Clearly Rosa had called out his bullshit before she hit the age of 5. The harder excuse was that he was scared and ran away. He felt ashamed to be once called a Gryffindor; they were after all, both just excuses.

Remus took a few deep breaths before exiting the broom closet, and heading straight to the Common room. He greeted the fat lady, who let him in without a password. He stepped into the alcove, not surprised to find the cosy room quite full.

“Professor Lupin!” Seamus shouted, greeting him happily. People’s head turns and he was quickly surrounded by his previous pupils, who he had to remind not to call him ‘Professor’.

“What are you doing here, pro--Mr. Lupin?” Neville asked, smiling.

“I’m looking for the Trio. I have some business to conduct with them” he explained.

“The fireplace.” Dean said quickly. Remus muttered a thank you and went to greet the trio.

“Hi there” he greeted not bothering to sit down. The Trio’s faces lit up.

“Professor Lupin!” Hermione exclaimed. “What are you doing at Hogwarts?” Harry asked, curious. “Please say you’re taking over as the Defence teacher” Ron said on top of the two, hopeful.

“As flattering as that is, Ron, I’m here for a personal matter” Remus explained, now suddenly wanting to sit down to talk to them. He chose the free armchair; the one he didn’t know that Rosa used to frequent.

“It’s… it’s about my daughter” he finally said.

“You have a daughter, sir?” Hermione asked, brows retreating to her hairline.

“None of the first years are called Lupin” Ron mentioned, reminding himself of the first years he met whilst doing his prefect duties during the beginning of the year.

Remus’ jaw was hitting the floor. He was of course aware that Madilyn wasn’t a fan of his, but the fact that no one knew? Was his identity that secretive?  
“I thought I made it quite clear in your third year” he just said, dumbfounded. He was ignored by Rosa for the most part of the year, and sure, she didn’t call her ‘dad’...

“Fuck” he swore under his breath again.

“What her name then?” Harry asked, shrugging. Remus sighed.

“You know her. Rosa” he said.

“ _DAWN_?!” all three exclaimed at the same time.

“Seriously, how do _you_ not know? You are-- were friends! She wrote to me about you all the time. Did you not talk about--” 

“Sir. Dawn… she didn’t want to tell us who her father was… the only thing we knew was that… you’re in the Order and that you’re a good man but a…” Hermione hesitated.

“But what? Trust me it’s nothing that she hasn’t already told me” 

“A shit father” Ron finished for her.

“That’s fair” Remus just said. “Well… I don’t know what I was expecting… I thought she had started opening up to other people…” Remus took a heavy sigh. “Ron, Harry thank you for taking her to the Hospital Wing yesterday. And… could you tell me what happened between you guys? She seemed happy for a while, in her letters. She had never before mentioned any friends”

“Um… I saw her scars.” Hermione said honestly.

“How bad are they?” Remus asked, knowing that Rosa wouldn’t let him see them, ever.

“It’s like-- she has no-- the skin on her back. There is none that doesn’t have a scar on” she mumbled through her answer. “Anyway… I told Harry and Ron and… well…”

“I told Dumbledore. Dawn didn’t take it well.” Remus nodded.

“Thank you. For telling someone”

“She got beaten because of me--”

“Don’t do that to yourself, Harry. And she’s safe now, if you hadn’t done that I would still be in the dark about the whole thing. I’ll take care of her from now on”

“You better” Harry said, still feeling as guilty as ever.

+++

“It hasn’t been an hour” Rosa muttered under her breath when Remus made it to her bedside once more.

“It’s been long enough. Though we have to wait a bit more there’s an Auror--”

“No!” Rosa went into a coughing fit after shouting the word. “If you want answers without pouring Veritaserum down my throat it will be you. _Just_ you. Alone.” Remus sat down on the chair next to her bed and got out his wand. Rosa flinched. Remus noticed.

“I’m sorry” he said quickly and swished his wand and the curtains around the bed quickly drew close. He muttered a _Muffliato_ silencing the small space they were in. He put the wand back to his robes. “Okay. Your terms” Rosa nodded, trying to find her Gryffindor courage and look her father in the eye. Remus knew that he had to start the conversation.

“I filed for your custody and you well know why” he started.

“Do--do I have any say in the matter?” Rosa asked, pretty sure of the answer.

“They might ask you to testify in the court, but other than that you don’t need to do anything”

“I meant if I could change your mind--”

“Absolutely not. You can decide if you want to testify, but that’s where your say in the matter ends” Remus sounded cross, a tone Rosa hadn’t heard in years. Before she could reminisce on his words, the content of his words registered in her mind.

“Against who? I won’t testify against Mum”

“How do you call her ‘Mum’ but can’t even tell your friends that I am your father?” Remus thought out loud. Truthfully, he was afraid of the answer.

“Because she was… there. And she was the one who wanted to keep your name a secret and forbid me from seeing you or let me see you for _a week_ a year. You never had anything to say for that. You never had any problem with that. Why should-- should I acknowledge you as a father just because you managed to fuck my mother once?” 

“Rosa!” 

“Where’s the lie?” Rosa clapped back.

“I’m sorry. I’ll apologize everyday until I die if you want. I’m going to prove myself to you. Promise” Rosa was biting her lip, her eyes rose to meet his sad and pleading ones.

“Cross your heart?” Remus let out a small grin, it was a saying that he had taught her after all. “Hope to die” he answered.

“I’m still cross with you” Rosa wanted to make the point clear.

“I know… Rosa… But… You owe me answers. Can you give me a couple?” he asked, trying to be as careful with his words as he could.

“I keep the right not to answer if I don’t want to” Rosa said, but quickly after nodded.

“Since when has she been doing this to you?” he asked bringing one of his hands onto Rosa’s squeezing it reassuringly. She had the urge to slap his touch away, but the feeling quickly turned into a more familiar and safe touch.

The memory of her first beating was flooding to her mind together with all the countless ones she had received after. She took a deep breath, trying to rid her mind of the painful memories.

“The first-” she cut herself off, as a tear fell to her already reddening cheek. She took another deep breath, and squeezed her father’s hand back. “The first time she bea--did that I was-- I-I was seven” she felt so ashamed finally letting that out to her father. She looked up at him, wanting to see his reaction.

Remus’ eyes were closed, his eyebrows were furrowed together. He was biting the inside of his cheek. He took a deep breath just like she did a moment ago.

“Ok.” he said with a cracked voice. He brought his other hand to their intertwined hands as well, and locked their eyes. “Why? The first time, why did she do that?”

“Remus… I--I can’t--” she said, now retreating her hand from his strong hold.

“Please, Rosa. I need to know” he begged.

Rosa closed her eyes, forcing her breathing to stay stable.

“The--the day before… she did that… She found a--something”

“What was it?”

“D-dad--”

“Don’t manipulate me, Rosa Dawn.” Remus warned, knowing that Rosa used the title just to change the topic. Rosa frowned. “What did she find?” he finished.

“A letter”

_WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ?!_

Pressing her eyes closed once more, Rosa tried to get rid of the shouts in her brain.

“Details, Rosa” Remus demanded. “I need to know how she justified beating a seven-year-old--” his voice broke, and he hung his head low, trying to collect himself.

“She found a letter fro-- from you” Rosa said, looking down. Remus sucked in a breath. “And during the night I-I snuck out t-to play with a friend… oh, I guess I was six, my birthday was coming up… b-but… the parents of my friend also didn’t know… and they’re… powerful? Mum found out. She took me home…”

_THE MALFOY’S ARE POWERFUL PEOPLE. HOW COULD YOU?!_

“--and she put the elves on me”

“I’m sorry that I was part of the reason that happened to you.”

“It wasn’t your fault”

“You say that but you still love her more than you do me”

“At least she was there when I cried myself to sleep because my father didn’t come home at the end of the day” Rosa clapped back.

“Rosa… would you like to spend the summer at mine? The court case is scheduled for the end of the summer and I just can’t send you to your mother” Rosa’s face contorted into an ugly frown. She was faced by a dilemma.

“Remus… I’ll never get engaged or even reserved if--. If I leave mum, I have no-- there’s no way they’ll--”

“You understand that these people will be recruited by You-Know-Who sooner than later? I can’t have you be part of that community, Rosa. I simply can’t stand and watch as they turn you into a Death Eater. I will fight for you--”

“You don’t get it” Rosa said with a weak voice.

“Explain to me then”

“Remus. I-- I don’t think the Order want me either. The purebloods will accept me when I get my inheritance in two years. Or if I marry someone proper. The Order… I’m as good as a Death Eater to them.” 

“Rosa. I assure you, they don’t think of you that way”

“Why do you think I don’t have friends?”

“Rosa, you-- Why--”

“To Gryffindors I’m a Death Eater, to Slytherins I’m a mudblood… But with Mum… at least I have a chance” Remus shook his head still finding it difficult to understand her point of view.

“The Order would welcome you with open arms, I promise you that. And I’m going to fight for you. There’s no way your mother is keeping you”

“Remus--”

“I understand that you love her. But I can’t just stand by and look as she breaks you”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you”

“Liar” Remus’ face contorted into a similar frown Rosa had on her face earlier.

“I do. Love you” he said again.

“Why does your quill waver everytime you write those words to me? Why do you care-- why are you even want these answers, it’s not like you ever cared before!” Rosa ranted. Remus was looking at the floor ashamed.

“I have no excuse. I was a coward” Rosa froze. Her eyes went around, in thought. A lightbulb went off in her mind.

“Why is there an Auror in the castle?” she asked out of the blue.

“Uh--”

“Father. Why is there an Auror around?” she cut the man off quickly, serious.

“Madilyn is abusing yo--”

“Are they here because-- are you interrogating me?” Rosa was now staring at her father strictly in the eye, not daring to blink. “Are you trying to throw my mother into Azkaban?”

“For doing the things she did to you, that’s where she belongs”

“Are you trying to get my custody just  to--to get revenge on mum?”

“I’m trying to keep you safe. I-- You need to understand that being around her is not healthy”

“I KNOW THAT! But I’d rather be around her than you!”

“Rosa, if you just testify, I mean we have enough evidence even without that, but with your testimony they would-- you wouldn’t need to see her ever again. You wouldn’t need to worry about her ever again”

“What happens when she gets released?” Rosa clapped back, arms folded.

“They would then take her to St. Mungo’s” Remus answered honestly.

“Why--” Rosa cut herself off once more in thought. He looked at her father in disgust. “Would… would my testimony end up in her getting the Kiss?” she asked, eyes red.

“That… that’s a possibility”

“Get out” Rosa said instantly after hearing his answer. “I can’t believe I actually trusted you” she shook her head regretting opening up to him, regretting that she actually had told the truth.

“Rosa--”

“Get the fuck out!”

“Listen to me--”

“I’d rather go to Azkaban with Mum than live under the same roof as you!”

“Rosa, I love you, and I want you to be safe--”

“Liar! You’re such a bloody--”

“I love you”

“--Mutty--”

“I love you”

“--Half breeded--”

“I love you”

“--Mudblood--”

“I love you”

“-- _Monster_ ” Rosa waited for an answer but it didn’t come. She didn’t dare to look at him; she felt disgusted by herself. It took all of her willpower to bite her tongue to not apologize straight away and/or cry herself to her grave. But her mother was more important. She would kill her for meeting up with him, he would only lecture her for saying those words but he would never put his hands on her. Her mother was a bigger risk. A risk she was not willing to take; she already had and probably is now the reason why her mother is going to Azkaban.

“Fuck” Rosa sobbed under her breath, turning her head completely away from Remus. He stood up and walked to the curtain, ready to make his leave.

“I love you, Rosa” he left. And Rosa sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!  
> Leave a comment/kudos/bookmark or just have a lovely day!


	16. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! I just flew back home for the holidays, which is the reason why I haven't posted this week. The good news now are that I'm free from the confines of school and have a head full of ideas as to where to take this fic, so get ready for some chapters coming your way!! Also, apologies for this chapter being super short.  
> Thanks for everyone who's been reading, this fic just hit 500 hits which is really amazing! Hope you enjoy this one.

Rosa cried for hours on end. The flood of tears refused to stop drowning her cheeks, and her mind refused to leave the feeling of pure sadness.    
Rosa sobbed, cried, howled… Madame Pomfrey had come to check on her to find her a complete mess. The Healer had tried to help the bawling teenager, but was only answered with a quick “GO THE FUCK AWAY!” In short, the older witch had backed up away as quickly as she could. 

Her father had left her once more and this time it was entirely her fault.  She had waited for Remus to come back. Of course, he wouldn’t, and if he would she would just shout at him to leave. And he had done just that. 

She had waited for someone she cared about to just to remind herself that she didn’t have someone like that. Hermi--Gran--The Mudblood wasn’t there for obvious reasons. Potter and Weasley would stay by the Mudblood’s side. Draco… He wouldn’t show up on his own accord. Simply, Rosa felt so utterly and desperately  _ alone _ .

After literal hours, Rosa snapped. Her sobbing stopped and the tears dried like a car into a wall. In a moment her face was stone and her emotions gone. She felt her mask slipping on automatically and engulfing her whole. It took her, it darkened her already black heart. 

The moment was fleeting; the mask would stick as a defence mechanism. Rosa lunged at the quill and parchment scribbled down a note she didn’t think she would give to anyone and slipped it to her pocket. And then the mask took her and this time it wouldn’t slip so easily.

And she decided in her heart to be a Lady.

Madame Pomfrey came to see her again, now seeing a stone faced Rosa sitting in a perfect posture instead of the balled up mess of a teenager. Rosa plastered a smile on her face automatically. Madame Pomfrey had not let her leave the Wing in her hysterical state. Refusing to sleep since her dreamless sleep potion was taken away from her, Rosa stared at the ceiling. The following morning the Healer was accompanied by an envelope in her hand.

“Am I being released, Madame Pomfrey?” she asked sweetly.

“Oh, dear” the Healer said, walking to sit next to Rosa. “How are you feeling, Miss Dawn?”

“I’m completely fine, thank you” Madame Pomfrey nodded, looking concerned. 

“I just hoped you would’ve rid yourself from your mask by now, Miss Dawn” she mumbled under her breath. A small scowl took over Rosa’s face.

“I have no idea what you are referring to, Madam Pomfrey. May I leave now?”

“Of course. Your new medication had been sent to your dorm. Do take it as prescribed, not more, not less. ”

“Of course.” Rosa quickly moved down from the bed, but was stopped by the Healer. She was handed the envelope. “Please read it before you make your leave” with that she left to her office.

The envelope was blank, and sealed with an illegible red blob of wax. Rosa twirled it in her hands before tearing the seal and taking out a wrinkled piece of parchment and reading it.

 

_ Rosa. _

_ I’m sorry for being a coward for the past 15 years. _

_ There’s a compromise I’d like to suggest to you. When Easter Break comes around, I would want to spend it with you. Since I know you don’t want to spend it under my roof, would you be willing to spend it in the Order’s Headquarters? There would be other people around, young and old, even a known Slytherin makes an appearance from time to time.  _

_ Think about it before sending me a singular piece of parchment with the word ‘no’ on it. If you refuse, that’s ok, it’s your decision. But, I want a proper reason; one that doesn’t have anything to do with your Mother. Please consider it. _

_ I love you, always. _

_  - Dad.  _

 

Rosa shook her head, Incendio’d the letter and speed walked out of the Hospital Wing straight towards the Common Room. Of course Remus would want to start spending time with her; he wanted her to testify after all. Obviously, she would be spending the Easter holiday in the Castle, just like she had done the past four years. She was already taken away from her norm with the Christmas break and that didn’t end well, now did it?

She knew she wouldn’t be needed in classes today; it being Friday, she could just start her weekend early. Here weekend planning session was cut short before she even made it to the Common Room.

“Rosa Dawn” Draco greeted her from behind. Rosa turned, knuckles turning white as she squeezed her cane. 

“Mr. Draco”

“Remus Lupin, huh?” he asked, smirking.

“What of him?” 

“Your father is a werewolf… kind of makes sense since everyone calls you a half breed”

“Well… that is the truth after all” she looked down in shame. 

“I saw them talking in the Hospital Wing, I didn’t want to intrude”

“I’m happy you did not, Mr. Draco. It would--”

“Be inappropriate?” Draco finished it for her with a roll of the eyes.

“Mr. Draco… what would happen if Astoria saw you with me? If anyone saw me talking with  _ the  _ Draco Malfoy, alone? I’m sorry if I’m offending you, but… I already have the reputation of a slut. So, I beg of you to not--”

“How are you feeling?” He asked out of the blue, not wanting to waste his time by listening to the bullshit even Rosa in her core didn’t believe or care about. 

“I’m fine, thank you for asking” 

“How was meeting him again?”

“I’m managing. The half breed filed for my custody, I--”   


“Good” 

“WHAT?” Rosa brought her hang to her mouth to silence herself. She cleared her throat, whilst Draco was struggling not to laugh at her blunder. “ _ Good _ ?”

“If you think that I don’t care for you, you’re more stupid than I thought you were. And if you think I’m going to let you go stay with that bloody witch again--”   


“Stop. Please” Rosa’s eyes were hitting the floor. “This is not--I--You’re reserved!”

“Astoria is dumb as a boot and you know it, I’m not marrying her. She just gives out because of the possibility. Besides, that has nothing to do with you. I mean.. Fuck! You’re not going back to her!” 

Rosa could not feel a speck of appreciation towards the blonde, though she knew she had to reject his words. Maybe… maybe he really cared. Or…

“This could be just the start of one of your pranks. I appreciate your care if it’s genuine--”   


“Just make sure not to go to her again, alright? I’ll leave you be. Just promise me” Draco looked genuinely worried; he would ever so often look Rosa up and down as to make sure that she wouldn’t spontaneously crumble down. 

“You know I can’t make a promise like that, Mr. Draco” he shook his head disapprovingly.

“How do you do this pureblood bullshit? How can you just throw yourself away and act like nothing affects you?”   


“Mr. Draco, if I may… why did you start caring for me agan? When you saw what my-- the elves were doing to me. You pity me. I… If someone is spouting lies it is you.”   


“How can you keep a neutral face over bullshit like that? Are you really that stupid?”   


“It seems that I am… after all, we were both raised to be like this. Stay away from me, Mr. Draco. You’ll get your homework through owl from now on. Good bye.” Rosa stepped aside and brushed past the boy. 

“Fuck” she cursed under her breath as she go further away from him. 

Alone. It seemed that she had to be just that to survive. 

Rosa walked (finally) into the Common Room, wanting to just lay down. But just as she stepped through the alcove into the warmth, she was barricaded by the Trio. All of them looked saddened, their words calculated and premeditated. 

“Dawn” the Mudblood said, looking for support from the two boys around her. Rosa desperately wanted to roll her eyes, feeling already emotionally drained for the day. “Are you alright?” she asked. Instead of answering, Rosa turned to Potter.

“Mr. Potter, if you would, please tell the Mudblood that I won’t be degrading myself by talking to  _ it _ ” all of the Trio’s jaws dropped to the floor. Weasley reached for his wand, Rosa flinched and Granger stopped him from doing anything. “It’s a defence mechanism, remember?” Rosa heard her whisper to him.

“Dawn, we just wanted to make sure you were alright” Weasley spat at her. The words were clearly premeditated, Weasley wouldn’t normally be so civil with her. 

“I’m fine. And… I believe I owe you a thank you. For taking me to the Wing” she said through her teeth. 

“Instead of a thank you, I’d want an answer” Potter said, scowling just like Weasley was. “How dare you speak of Lupin in the way you do? You can choose between him and your mother and you  _ don’t  _ choose him? Why?” Rosa sighed, shaking her head.

“Out of everyone, I expected you to understand, Mr. Potter” she just said.

“W-what?” he wavered, suddenly curious. 

“You know what it feels like not to belong anywhere” she said, staring at him straight in the eye, noticing how their eye colour matched. She waited for an answer from the spectacled boy, but none came. Potter was completely dumbfounded. Granger nudged Weasley.

“Uhm-- what do you mean?” he asked. Rosa sighed.

“You’ve always had a functioning family, Mr. Weasley,” Rosa started making sure to keep the jealousy out of her tone, “Mr. Potter hasn’t. But he found that in Hogwarts, did you not?” Potter nodded slightly. 

“There’s your answer then.” she said, keeping her neutral expression.

“But--” Granger started but was quickly cut off.

“She’s offering me people who unconditionally will care for me; a community. If it means that I have to get a beating from time to time or marrying someone I barely know o-or that I have to follow Vo--someone, then so be it! I would do anything to get that feeling back…  _ Love. I would die to get that back _ . So, please. Don’t associate with me, don’t talk to me; I would prefer if you acted around me the way you did in the beginning of the year. Not knowing who I am. I would not like to be seen with the wrong sort”

“Excuse me?” Weasley asked, anger rising to his face once more.

“You are blood traitors and you know it, Mr. Weasley. Since you lot have already jeopardized my future and are without a doubt reporting back to Remus about everything I do, I’d like you to stand back. I only see it as fair” she calmly explained and stepped aside to leave the conversation. Potter stepped in front of her.

“What if we don’t let you isolate yourself again?” Potter asked, looking down at her determinedly.

“Potter. If I told you that I am ready to die for my possible future, what makes you think I won’t kill for it?” Rosa matched his serious expression. Potter wavered slightly. Granger gasped, Weasley’s angry glare turned to shocked horror.

“Is that a threat or are you just trying to sound tough?” Potter managed to clap back.

“I will kill you without a second thought, Potter, if you interfere with my life again. That’s not a threat, that’s a promise. Cross my fucking heart”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Leave a bookmark/kudos/comment or just have a fantastic day!!


	17. Tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is my baby. It's long and wonderful and I love it. I can only hope you love it as well!!!
> 
> Thanks for everyone who has been reading and leaving kudos/bookmarks/comments!

Being flooded with letters in the middle of dinner was not something Rosa wanted to live through, well she had a bigger problem being surrounded by five owls whilst she tried to eat. At least once a week she would get a letter from the Ministry, letters from Remus’ and her mother’s representation begging for her to witness at the Wizengamot, and letters from her parents to do the same. In short, her whole bloody plate was suddenly filled with a tower of parchment and Rosa herself was then quickly surrounded by owls begging for treats or responses or most likely both.

Her mother’s letters had turned sweet and caring. She had ended with every letter with an ‘I love you’ whilst every letter Remus sent started with an ‘I’m sorry’. Madilyn constantly mentioned the custody battle and the upcoming trial. She didn’t want Rosa to testify at all; or if she did she would have to testify against Remus. Remus himself on the other hand, failed to mention it at all. Instead he checked on Rosa’s health and wellbeing and begged her to come over for Easter. Rosa didn’t answer to either of her parents. She continued to dwell in her thoughts.

She waited patiently for herself to suddenly make a decision. It never happened. She wanted to make her thoughts clear on the whole custody thing, but time only made her more muddled and confused. Rosa wanted to stay with her mother, but at the same time, the idea of going back to her horrified her. She didn’t want to go to her father, but at the same time, she was constantly reminding herself of the reassuring touch of his hand on hers. Rosa kept on replaying their conversation, hating herself more and more as time went on. Of course outwardly, no one could tell how her mind was slowly killing itself.

Rosa could feel how every teacher was looking at her. It felt like they were assessing her, making sure that she wouldn’t crumble into a ball in front of everyone again. That she didn’t appreciate. She was taking the correct amount of Calming Draught that forced her to keep the impending panic down. She still flinched at everything, but crowds didn’t give her as bad time as they did before.

Weeks, months went by. Easter was slowly approaching. The only good thing that happened through that time was when Rosa was able to stop using her cane to move around and her scars were starting to pale. But so did her whole skin. She had lost too much weight, even Draco was starting to give Rosa weird looks during dinner when she didn’t take many bites of food. Truthfully, she just didn’t have any appetite; seeing her ribs in the mirror made her want to eat more.

Rosa hadn’t slept much and when she had she was plagued by constant nightmares of her time home during Christmas. Rosa noted that she could only fall asleep again after a nightmare if she flooded her mind with memories of her father; since it worked Rosa didn’t dare to complain about it, no matter how angry the fact made her. At least she was able to get a couple hours of sleep a night. Dark bags decorated the skin under her eyes permanently no matter how well she had slept the night before. She started keeping her father’s letters rather than burning them; Rosa found hope in them.

Umbridge seemed to be getting worse, though walking around the Castle had become much easier without running into her or the Inquisitorial Squad, who seemed to be concentrated in the seventh floor most of the time for some reason. Since Rosa kept by the ridiculous rules and avoided both the Squad and the pink toad, she was mostly left alone.

Draco and the Mudblood gave her a bunch of longing looks, but didn’t approach her. Potter and Weasley barely had the courage to look at her. Rosa preferred it that way, she had the space to think. Though it started to feel like thinking was all that she was doing lately.

Rosa was sitting in the library, staring at an empty piece of parchment. She had dipped her quill to the inkwell what felt like a thousand times, but was unable to make out any words. She sighed.

“Tell him that you’re going” the Mudblood sat down next to her, multiple books in hand. Rosa looked up at her as the Gryffindor started studying silently. Granger looked up at her.

“He is freaking out, says that you haven’t been answering his letters. He just wants an answer. We… Harry and Ron will be there. I’ll be there for the second week. Just… go. No one will know. Just us. We’ll do the Unbreakable Vow if you don’t trust us, but… for your father’s sake, you should go” Granger started speeding through her sentences when she noticed Rosa packing her things. Rosa was frantically looking around her hands shaking, terrified that one of the Slytherins would be there to see.

Rosa was silently freaking out. She looked around once more. Being stone-faced for three months was wearing on her. She had refused to speak one word to the Mudblood, not wanting to risk her reputation. She hadn’t slipped once; even the Slytherins hadn’t had a reason to pick on her. Rosa lived as a shadow; and she didn’t want to change that.

“There’s no one around” Granger reassured her. Rosa looked down at her parchment and quill. “It’s safe there. Promise” Rosa stared at her and then back to the parchment. She audibly swallowed.

“Cross yo-- I should not speak with you” Rosa just said, changing her mind mid sentence.  She grabbed her things, stood up and shoved them into her shoulder bag.

“Would you talk to me in a place where no one could see or hear us?”

Rosa looked around once more. She looked down at the bushy haired girl, Granger seemed genuine. Rosa gave her a tiny nod, not wanting to risk saying it outloud.

“Seventh floor, by the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. At midnight, if that makes you--” Granger whispered hopefully but was quickly cut of by the other Gryffindor.

“Stay away from me, Mudblood!” Rosa suddenly spat at her, and left the library. Granger’s silent questions were answered when she noticed some of the members of the Goon Squad walking in the library, docking off points from a second year Ravenclaw girl for not having ‘the correct socks on’.

 

Just as Rosa made it to her dorm room, she locked the door and attacked her pillow. She peeled back its pillowcase and got out a small stack of opened envelopes.

 

_Rosa._

_I’m sorry for not being there for the past 15 years._

_How are you? If you are in pain, talk to Madame Pomfrey._

_Mrs. Weasley got excited by the simple idea of you coming around for Easter. I think you would like her, her cooking is wonderful. Have you thought it over?_

_I love you, always._

_Dad._

_\--_

_Rosa._

_I’m sorry for being a bad father for the past 15 years._

_I’m sure that you know that I asked the Trio and Staff to keep tabs on you. That doesn’t mean you should threaten them with death. Speaking of which, please tell me you don’t actually know how to conjure the Death curse._

_I’m worried about you. Are you able to walk around without your cane? Still in pain? Please let me know, Rosa._

_I love you, forever._

_Dad._

_\--_

_Rosa._

_I’m sorry for causing you countless amount of pain the past 15 years._

_Madame Pomfrey told me that she’s trying to break your dependence on the Sleeping Draught. How are you managing? Are your O.W.L studies being affected?_

_I know that you are receiving my letters, so that is not an excuse not to answer. You know that you can say ‘no’ to my invitation, right? I know you are still upset with me, but I’d like to know if you’re okay._

_I love you, always._

_Dad._

_\--_

_Rosa._

_I’m sorry. For everything._

_Happy birthday, I wish that from now on I can be the father you deserved for the first 15 years of your life._

_I wish you have an amazing day._

_I hope you like your gift; it is the one thing I think about when conjuring my patronus._

_I love you, always._

_Dad._

_\--_

_Rosa._

_I’m sorry, my child, for not showing my love to you before._

_Easter is approaching. You know what I’m asking from you._

_I simply just want to see you, talk to you. When was the last time we spent time together, just the two of us? Your mother doesn’t need to know. We’ll get you to the Headquarters through the Floo network to keep that secret. I already cleared it with Dumbledore. Let me know what you think of it._

_I love you, forever._

_Dad._

 

Rosa took out a moving photo out of one of the envelopes. It was of Remus and her when she was maybe three years old. Remus was holding her in his protective embrace, giving her a sweet kiss on her puffy cheek. They’re both smiling ear to ear. The photo itself is damaged and wrinkled, like it was kept in a pocket for years on end. It was the one thing Remus had given her for her 16th birthday couple weeks ago.

She had wanted to burn it but the damage on it told her that it was precious to him. Being that cruel… Rosa couldn’t make herself to burn the photo.

There was an angry knock on the door. Rosa started shoving the letters back into their envelopes frantically.

“OI! You can’t just lock the door like this _after curfew_ !!” Lavender Brown shouted from the other side of the door. Rosa rolled her eyes, of course it had to be her least favorite roommate. She put the now re-filled enveloped back into her pillowcase. Picking up her wand she unlocked the door but not before glancing the clock. Damn, she had been thinking for _hours_. It made Rosa wonder how many knocks she had not heard.

“Seriously, if you need privacy use the bloody toilet next time, Dawn!” Brown shrieked, walking straight toward her trunk. Some of the other 5th year Gryffindors walked in and plopped on their beds, but not before giving Dawn a good glare.

She glanced at the clock once more. Rosa looked around making sure that the other girls weren’t giving her any more looks. Thankfully, they weren’t. She got up, and against every rational thought in her head she walked straight to the 7th floor.

No one was around, prefects were already done with their rounds and Filch was most likely rounding up the lower floors.

Rosa was staring up at the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Granger was nowhere to be seen, although there was a bunch of time to spare. An ugly thought creeped in Rosa’s head as her memories reminded her of all of the pranks the Slytherins had pulled on her. Granger wouldn’t do anything like that would she?

Seeing Granger itself was a risk. If she were to be seen with a muggleborn… Rosa’s months of keeping up with pureblood ways would be wasted. Her brain was ticking, making decisions and finding ways that made her more sympathetic to the community’s causes if she were to be caught. She wouldn’t change the way she addressed Granger, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t open up to her, she wouldn’t tell the truth to her. Keeping herself guarded was the way to go, she concluded.

Rosa stayed waiting for her ex-friend, simply because she was craving company; she wished to speak with someone even for a moment. Even if they talked about Herbology homework. Or Hogwarts’ dating rumours. Or even Dumbledore’s bloody sex life, it didn’t matter. Thus, Rosa kept up her hope and kept waiting.

The familiar scent of chocolate filled the dark and stony corridor. Rosa looked around and saw Granger levitating two cups of steaming something when she spotter her. Grangers hands were full, she was still wearing her school uniform, she had her school bag on her shoulder and a thick book on the left hand.

“You haven’t gone in yet?” the bushy haired girl asked, surprised. Rosa turned around, looking for a place where she could ‘go in’.

“Oh.” Granger said, understanding the problem. “The blank wall. Pace in front of it three times, and ask the wall for a place where you feel safe. Oh, you could ask it to make it sound proof as well” she explained. Rosa didn’t move an inch.

“You want me... to ask a wall... for a place?” she asked, looking at Granger like she had gone absolutely insane. Currently that wasn’t too far from the truth, at least in Rosa’s opinion.

“Not out loud” Granger said, motioning at the wall. Rosa still didn’t move, still refusing to do what she was asked to do. The other Gryffindor rolled her eyes, handed Rosa her heavy book and paced in front of the wall herself still continuing to levitate the cups. Rosa’s emerald eyes widened as a small wooden door appeared on the wall.

“I asked somewhere you feel safe in, I hope it worked. Could you open it?” Hermione asked as she took her book back from Rosa.

Rosa took tentative steps to the door, glancing at Granger a couple times as she did so. She only got nods of encouragement from the other girl. The gnawing feeling of all of this being a trap was in the back of her head as she placed her hand on the small doorknob. She opened the door, she glanced inside.

“No.” she said, closing the door after a single look at the room.

“What is it? Did it not work? Though that would be unheard of...” Granger thought out loud.

“Oh, it worked, alright” Rosa scoffed, “A little too well” she added.

“Go on in. The Room says that’s the place you feel the most safe”

“That’s impossible. Last time I was there was… years ago”

“That doesn’t mean that’s not the place where you feel secure. Just go in, please?” Granger pleaded, fearing that her concentration would waver and send the hot chocolates to the floor.

Rosa took a deep breath, and opened the wooden door once more. Before she stepped in, she turned to the other girl one last time. “Will the door stay?” Granger shook her head. Rosa nodded in return. She finally stepped in.

The room was medium sized bedroom/office. Half of it had a cozy bed and a fireplace, whilst the other side had a sizeable office desk that was littered with pieces of parchment, used quills and dried up ink bottles. Rosa looked down, noticing a scrape on the wooden flooring and remembering how she had caused it in her childhood. The only difference she could pinpoint was that the desk was occupied with two chairs instead of the familiar one.

Granger had been right; the room almost instantly relaxed her. The Room even smelled as Rosa remembered it. The slight mess of the desk made her feel calm. Granger closed the door behind her with difficulty and looked around.

“Is this your room at your Mum’s?” she asked as she walked to the office desk and finally floated the cups down onto it. She sat down, Rosa followed to sit opposite to her.

“It’s my f-- Remus’ bedroom at his house… or what was his house… I don’t know where he lives nowadays” Rosa said quickly, eyeing the cups of hot chocolate warily.

“Oh…” Granger tried to bite down her smile. The Gryffindor took a sip of the cup nearest to her. She motioned for Rosa to drink from the other. “It’s from the kitchens. Unless the elves want to poison you--” Granger went pale as she saw Rosa flinch at her words. “Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking… I hate forced labour, but Dobby made them… he gets paid… Oh, Dawn, I--”

“It’s alright” Rosa shook her head, rearranging her thoughts and drinking some of the hot chocolate to shut the other girl up.

An awkward silence ensued. Granger looked around the room whilst Rosa concentrated on her drink.

“Speaking of… your dad--”

“Can we not? Like could we just…talk about something completely unrelated? Like...” Rosa glanced around and her eyes fell onto Granger’s school bag. “Potions homework?”

“Potions homework?” Granger repeated, but when she glanced at Rosa, she quickly nodded and got out her books (because of course she would carry the correct books with her). Of course Hermione Granger is the only one in the whole Castle willing to talk about Potions homework at midnight.

“Anything you don’t understand?” Rosa knew that the question would set the other girl off to a frenzy of questions. And she was happy to be proven correct.

There they sat for over an hour, sipping on their hot chocolates and going over tiny details of potions recipes. Rosa’s eyes started to drop, but she refused to let sleep take over. Granger noticed.

“I’ve let you be comfortable all night, so… could you do something for me before we go to bed?” Granger asked carefully, not wanting to scare Rosa away.

“What do you want?” Rosa asked through her yawn. Granger handed her a quill and a small sliver of parchment.

“Write to your father. Please” she pleaded. Rosa suddenly felt uncomfortable, trying to keep calm by inhaling the familiar scent of her father in and out.

“Umbridge is reading my mail” Rosa gave an excuse.

“Write it now, I’ll mail it tomorrow with Ron’s owl. Pigwidgeon blends in anywhere”

“Why do you have an answer to everything?” Rosa said under her breath, before taking the quill into her hand. She looked up at Granger who was staring her down, eyes sharp on the parchment.

“Can you not…?” Granger’s eyes snapped up and she understood that she was being intrusive. She quickly stood up and walked to the other side of the room.

Rosa looked back down at the intimidatingly blank piece of parchment. She took a deep breath before starting to craft her letter with a shaky hand. She made a decision while she wrote, which she blamed on the scent lingering in the air. She ended up writing the longest letter she ever had, rambling, scribbling and overlining sentences.

 

_Remus._

_To give you a peace of mind, here’s some answers to your questions:_

_I’m fine. I don’t need the cane anymore, my face isn’t busted and I’m sleeping ok though Madame Pomfrey refuses to give me any sleeping draught._

_And yes, when Weasley and I were acquaintances, he did mention his mother a few times. I’m sure I’d like her. ~~though to be honest I think meeting her would make me jealous.~~_

_I haven’t ever cast the Death curse, but I know the incantation and the theory behind it and ~~I’ve seen it in action~~ , so in theory I should be able to conjure it. I’m sorry if that disappoints you. _

_O.W.L studies are going well as well though ~~Umbitc~~ Umbridge is being horrible as always. _

_Thank you for the birthday present. It’s nice but I don’t think I can keep it. It surely has more meaning to you than it will ever to me. ~~How about instead you just give me a couple galleons? Mum used to do that.~~ Or… if the Lupin family has any heirlooms? Something discreet obviously, no family crests or anything, ~~but I don’t want you to think I’m ashamed to be part Lupin. Though there’s some truth in that statement.~~ I don’t know. I just feel guilty accepting something you need for your patronus. ~~Since I can’t cast one, wouldn’t it be better for one of us to be able to?~~_

_What comes to Easter: I will come but on my terms only._

_1\. Mum will not know, no one will tell her, if there’s someone you don’t trust at the Headquarters you make them do the Unbreakable Vow.  That Slytherin you mentioned in one of your letters won’t make an appearance, no matter if they make the Vow or not. I don’t care._

_2\. Because of the latter, I’ll take the floo to arrive at the place. And, I want the ability to come back at any point I want, obviously I won’t go back and forth but I need the chance to leave if I feel uncomfortable._

_3\. I get my own room. I refuse to sleep with anyone else. Oh, and if you didn’t stay in the house, I’d appreciate that. Like I said, I’d rather not stay under the same roof as you._

_4\. I get Dreamless Sleeping Draught. Simple as that._

_5\. You will not bring up the testimony. I will not testify, and that decision is final. We can spend time together, we can go to Diagon Alley together, we can do whatever father-daughter ~~bs~~ stuff you want to do, but I do not wish to discuss the trial. I don’t want to think about it, I don’t want to talk about it. I think you understand why. _

_Let me know if I’m coming or not._

_And since I’m not a heartless bitch and I know that the full moon was yesterday, I have to ask if you’re okay in turn._

_-_ __R.D_ _

 

 

Rosa blew the ink dry before folding the parchment in half and sliding it into an envelope (which Granger conveniently had in hand). She wrote ‘Remus Lupin’ onto the back of it and handed it swiftly to the other Gryffindor.

“Happy?” she asked, eyebrow raised.

“I am. I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“What? Aren’t you going back to the dorm?” Rosa questioned, confused.

“No. I just assumed you would stay here for the night…”

“Oh… well… I could, actually” Rosa liked the idea of sleeping alone for the night in her safe place.

“So… see you tomorrow?” Rosa scoffed.

“If you think I’m going to acknowledge your existence ever in public, you’re deranged. Also, when do you think I forgave you for spilling my secrets to Potter and Weasley?” Rosa clapped at her. Instead of being offended, Granger laughed and nodded. She put her hand onto the doorknob.

“On of these days, Rosa, mark my words” before Rosa had the chance to scold Granger for using her given name, the Gryffindor had already closed the door behind her.

Rosa swished her wand and muttered a quick Incendio and the fireplace which filled the room with comfortable heat. She climbed under the covers of the bed that was a perfect replica of her father’s bed. She was engulfed by the reassurance Remus was somehow ale to give her. It was almost as good as a hug from him would feel like. _Almost_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> Leave a comment/kudos/bookmark or just have a wonderful day!!


	18. Twice Tortured

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, once more!  
> Here's once more a little longer chapter, hopefully you'll enjoy it!!

Easter was too close now. Way too close to Rosa’s liking. Like two days from now close. She’d had the time to change her mind hundreds of times over and over again whether going to the Headquarters was a good idea or not. She ended up in the grey area.

Rosa had received a response from Remus extremely quickly. Weasley’s owl must’ve been enchanted or something, because Rosa received an envelope the following day from Remus.

 

_Rosa._

_I’m sorry that you have to live in constant fear. Also, you have never disappointed me and I doubt you’ll start doing so any time soon. Know that, now and always. Unconditional love, remember?_

_There’s no way you’re not coming now. I checked everything. It should be ok, the only problem I have with your conditions is the Dreamless Sleeping Draught. But we’ll discuss it once you arrive. Don’t stress; you’ll have access to it._

_Go to Dumbledore after people leave for the train, he’ll floo you in._

_I’ll be waiting._

_I love you,_

_Dad._

_P.S. don’t worry about me, I’m used to the Moon and its effects on me._

 

Rosa didn’t send a response, she assumed Remus wasn’t waiting for one, and since his letters stopped coming as often, she knew she was correct.

Weasley and Potter had a complete 360 in their behavior towards Rosa. There was no way Granger hadn’t told everything about their little midnight hot chocolate meet up to the boys. Not that she really cared. (To Rosa’s liking she cared a tad too much).

Now, all packed already, Rosa walked along the hallways trying to prepare herself for everything. What it would feel like, living in midst of a functioning family? Rosa didn’t know, which was evidently the reason why she was so anxious about the whole thing. She told herself that walking around helped her clear her mind. Honestly it probably did nothing so beneficial.

“Oi, _Lady Dawn_ ! You’re out after curfew! 10 points from Gryffindor!” Rosa heard a shout behind her. A wave of panic flew through her as the voice was accompanied by multiple footsteps. She didn’t turn, hoping that they would just leave her alone. She only hoped that, though she wasn’t naive enough to believe her hopes would ever come true. Of course the one time she’s breaking the rules, she gets caught _by them_.

“Time for round two!” the same voice shouted at the back of Rosa’s head.

“ _Locomotor Mortis!_ ” another voice casted and Rosa felt her legs glue to the spot, not able to move them. She moved her hand to her robes, getting out her own wand.

“ _Expelliarmus_ ” as the attack came from behind, Rosa could reverse it; her wand flew out of her hand helplessly. The group of Slytherins walked in front of Rosa, most of them looking at her up and down, assessing and thinking. It was them again; Grabbe, Goyle, Nott, Zabini, Parkinson, Crabbe’s fiance (who Rosa had nicknamed Lolly) and of course, Draco. To the latter, Rosa gave a small pleading look, waiting for him to help her. The help never came. She forced her breathing to stabilize.

“We have another game for you today” Lolly said with a her high pitched voice, disgustingly excited.

“It’s called _target practise_ ” Crabbe explained, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Rosa felt her heart drop. Her chest was heaving slightly, panic slowly but surely building in the pit of her stomach.

“Since there are no interesting monsters around this year to leave you with… and since we thought the Dark Lord would recruit us earlier if our aim was good… so just stay there and scream when something hurts. Everyone has three go’s. We have a points system” Parkinson explained a bit too close to Rosa’s face for her liking. She seemed too proud of the whole idea. The whole thing was definitely her idea.

The group turned around and walked a good 25 meters away from her before drawing an imaginary line there. Crabbe had vicious gleam in his eye as he raised his wand and pointed it at Rosa. She flinched and she put all her focus on breathing.

“Tell me how nice it hurts, _whore_ ” he said, and perused his mind for the perfect curse to start their little game. Rosa kept her face on neutral and just stared at Draco. He was the only one in that moment who she could look at. She was so terrified.

Rosa had lived through multiple beatings throughout her life. That was for sure. But she knew what was coming with the elves and her mother. With the Goon Squad she had no idea what curses were in their artillery. But one though took over her entire thinking: Would Draco strike her? She pressed her eyes closed.

“ _Auris Usquam!_ ” Crabbe cursed and Rosa felt her ears being filled with bleeding cuts. She didn’t scream, she didn’t really react. The pain was nothing. It felt a little prickly, but nothing too bad. To an outsider, sure it looked pretty damn grim, but Rosa barely felt it. She opened her eyes once more, blinking in confusion.

“--but it worked!” Rosa heard Crabbe complain over her nonexistent reaction. Rosa quickly understood that she wasn’t only target practise; she was practise for spells they had come up with. Experimental stuff, it seemed. _Great._

“ _Collum lamna!_ ” Crabbe cursed once more, this time hitting a similar curse to Rosa’s neck. Again, the prickly feeling of her skin being cut open hit her, but the cuts were thin. She felt the blood soaking her collar, but pain? She didn’t feel any.

“Son of a bitch!” Crabbe roared; he was expecting her to scream her head off. Rosa could understand his disappointment. His wand came up to point at her once more.

“ _Cicatrix!_ ” Rosa saw the flash as the curse left Crabbe’s wand but felt nothing. No blood was soaking her clothing, no bruise forming on her skin. Maybe he missed?

“Let me try. _Cicatrix!_ ” Lolly incantated. It felt like a nudge on her side. “What the hell?” Lolly thought out loud.

“Oh, for fucks sake, people. Try a proper spell” Zabini scolded his so called friends.

“ _Nasum Confractus!_ ” Lolly swished her wand expertly and Rosa felt her nose crack and the bone slipping out of place. Again, Rosa acknowledges that her nose was most likely broken, but it didn’t really hurt. It more felt like someone had accidentally given her a slap on the nose.

“Her nose is fucking off her face, and she doesn’t react?” Lolly looked at the Gryffindor in horror.

“Fucking hell, people.” Parkinson rolled her eyes and raised her wand. She thought for a moment before flashing an evil smile. “This should make the bitch scream” she laughed as she cocked her head at Rosa. “ _Crucio_!” Pansy’s curse certainly hit Rosa. She flinched at the words before she felt the curse hit her. She felt it alright.

But the only noise that left her was a tiny whimper of surprise. Rosa herself was getting confused. She was supposed to be crouched down on the floor in pain but… she felt comfortable enough not to. The curse didn’t feel great; but the pain the same curse had given her during Christmas… this was nothing. Instead of knives stabbing her all over, Rosa’s body was receiving a singular papercut every few seconds. Pansy’s smile disappeared. She let the curse go.

“It’s not powerful enough. You need to mean it, remember?” Nott said, in turn raising his own wand and aiming right at Rosa’s heart. He closed his eyes, building up his anger.

“ _Crucio!_ ” the boy roared and the red spark came rushing towards her.

_Rosa’s eyes went black as she was thrown into one of her nightmares. She was on her knees unmoving, waiting in the living room. And she was cold. Cold because she was only wearing her knickers._

_Madilyn was circling her, judging her mostly naked body. Her vocabulary was colourful, pointing at a bruise or a scar from time to time and concluding that some boy had down that to her body._

_She called for Layla who appeared with a loud pop - Rosa flinched at the sound. She decided to lift her eyes from the floor to the elf. Layla was holding Rosa’s wand in her wrinkled and boney hand. A flare of anger rose in Rosa’s chest, but she didn’t dare to speak._

_“Crucio!” the elf shouted and the wand, Rosa own wand, was now hurting her. Rosa scremed, curling up to herself as the torture continued._

_“Crucio!” Madilyn was pointing her own wand at her child. Rosa felt the world duplicate, black spots everywhere. Being hit by two Cruciatus curses at once was the worst pain she had ever felt._

_She didn’t have a place to breathe as the feelings of knives stabbing her wasn’t released._

_“Rosa Dawn”_

_Her squirming stopped, as her body didn’t have enough oxygen to give her energy to do so._

_“_ Rosa _”_

_Her life was ending, she was sure of it. And the damn elf had her wand. Her own wand was attacking her._

_“_ Rosa!” 

Rosa was thrown back to reality as quickly as the nightmare had started. She was still standing, Draco looking down at her. The other Slytherins had left. Rosa looked up at the blonde boy, not able to change her neutral expression to a confused one.

“What ha--” “Are you alright?” they spoke on top of each other. Rosa flinched as he spoke, though his tone was soft and gentle.

“Bloody Nott happened. He hit you with the Cruci--”

“After that” Rosa asked rolling her eyes, her pureblood manners suddenly gone.

“Nothing. You… just stood there, staring at nowhere. You--” Draco cut himself off when he heard footsteps and the distinct meow of a cat. “Fuck” Draco swore and without thinking grabbed her hand quickly and started dragging her behind him. He noticed her flinch. They slipped into the nearest closet. Draco let go of her hand instantly and wandlessly put up a silencing charm. He healed Rosa’s nose and the cuts on her neck and ears; Crabbe’s curse was certainly not very strong.

“Did it hurt at all?” Draco asked right after the last tiny cut disappeared from her skin, looking completely dumbfounded.

“It wasn’t pleasant but I wouldn’t call it… very painful, Draco… I didn’t really feel… it wasn’t-- I don’t know” Rosa rambled through her sentences.

“Right now?”

“Little shaky, but that comes with the flashbacks” she said like it was nothing, and Draco was growing impatient.

“Could you just… like… you just got hit by the fucking Cruciatus and you didn’t scream bloody murder! You flinch more by me starting a conversation with you!” he exclaimed, but kept his volume down. Rosa just shrugged.

Honestly, Rosa didn’t feel much. She just… stood and nodded and agreed. Like a proper Lady. Her mind was a mess, but at the forefront was a fog that didn’t let her true feelings through.

“--fucking hell!” Rosa kept on nodding and agreeing, keeping her face on neutral. Silence ensued. Draco looked down at her, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open. Stress was the word that Rosa would’ve used to describe the way he looked at that moment.

“Are you even listening to me? Voldemort will want you now, you understand that, right?!” Rosa looked at him, her expression didn’t waver.

“I do.” she just said.

Draco was baffled.  On Christmas she was terrified by the idea of Voldemort being interested in her. Now she was just suddenly ok with becoming a Death Eater? None of it made sense to him.

Rosa kept her eyes on him, waiting for him to finish his thoughts. She was in complete apathy on the outside. Her mind was screaming in panic on the inside. She couldn’t understand what was happening to her, why her body didn’t react to pain. Thus, all her energy was in her thoughts rather than in reacting to the information Draco was spouting at her.

“Your mum is a cunt” Draco suddenly said, staring at Rosa straight in the eye.

Rosa looked up at the blonde, but there was no sign of a glare; she was still too deep in thought.

“Your father is a mudblood and a dangerous one at that. You should never be around someone like him. He is disgusting” he tested.

Rosa just nodded at him. Draco’s jaw dropped.

“What the fuck did she do to you?! You told me you would fucking kill me if I ever talked about Lupin like that!” he was ready to rip his hair out.

“According to our culture that is the ultimate truth” she just commented and kept on thinking, organizing the mess that were her thoughts. Her eyes went everywhere around the room, not focusing on anything particular.

And then she felt a hand on her cheek and foreign lips meeting hers. Rosa kept her eyes open and didn’t move an inch, she hadn’t even flinched at the initial touch. Draco’s lips tried molding with hers, gently moving against them. She didn’t kiss him back, but she didn’t push him away either.

Rosa knew that if Draco would’ve done this yesterday, her stomach would’ve done a delightful flip. But now. There was nothing.

The Slytherin kept on trying. He attempted deepening the kiss, his tongue coming to swipe her lower lip as a form of asking for entrance. Asking for her to kiss back. To react to his touch, to react to his administrations. But she never did.

Draco separated their lips but kept his hand on her cheek and leaned his forehead to hers for a moment. He waited for a reaction. Their eyes met, Rosa’s eyes empty and expression still on neutral.

Draco sighed, dropped his hand and took a step back. He suddenly seemed agitated, and he was violently shaking his head. He ran his fingers through his gelled hair.

“Could you just react to _something_?!” he suddenly yelled at her. The kiss was a test. A meaningless trial to get her to punch him or yell at him, just like the insults were.

“I--” Rosa said with a tiny voice, but cut herself off. She _wanted_ to punch him for the words he had said of her father. She _wanted_ to glare at him for the words he said about her mum. _She wanted to kiss him back_. In the pit of her stomach, panic rose from the lack of control she had over herself, and she decided to try push through the fog.

She pushed away of the memory of the pain. She pushed away the memory of the kiss and the insults. She desperately wanted to forget everything. Obviously she couldn’t, but if she could ignore the memories by pushing them to the back of her mind… it was the best option she had, she eventually concluded.

Rosa pressed her eyes close, pushing away the panic.

_Hogwarts._

_Broom Closet._

_Wednesday. April. Fourteenth._

_Almost Easter. Going to the Headquarters._

_Seeing Dad. Remus._

_Rosa Dawn. Lupin. Rosa Lupin. No. Dawn._

_Sixteen._

_Draco Lucius Malfoy._

_Draco._

Rosa opened her eyes slowly, feeling the control come back. She took a couple deep breaths. Draco saw a familiar twinkle come back to her eyes.

“What is happening to me, Draco?” she asked, not bothering to slap him for everything he had done previous to this moment. There were more pressing matters to address.

“I don’t know, Rosa Dawn. You need to keep low profile. There’s no way the others will keep it quiet that you can withstand a bloody Unforgivable that’s not Imperio. The Dark Lord will find out. He’ll want you” This time, Rosa paled by his words. Draco’s hands came to Rosa’s upper arms just like they had during Christmas break.

“Breathe” he had to remind to her.

“I’m-- I’m scared, Draco” Rosa whispered to the boy.

“I know, Rosa” he just said and kept moving his hands up and down.

“Could you… Would you-- you know in the tree house when you…” Rosa rambled, but Draco seemed to get the idea of her request. He took a tiny step closer to her, and wrapped his arms around her and Rosa just allowed herself to be held.

Rosa’s body relaxed and her own arms went lazily around Draco’s waist. She buried her face to his chest, trying to find comfort and security, which she partly got. But something was missing, an unspoken truth that made the air more awkward than safe.

They stood there for a few silent minutes, Draco giving her a good amount of time to get her thoughts in order. Once Rosa’s heartbeat stabilized her eyes snapped open.

Draco bloody Malfoy, the _reserved_ Draco fucking Malfoy had kissed her. And what had she done? Rosa’s heart plummeted suddenly. Just like when Crabbe had kissed her, Rosa didn’t feel the wonder she expected to feel after being kissed. Draco of all people should know… but he had taken it upon himself to… _shit. This was not supposed to go like this._

“If you ever kiss me again, I’ll punch you” Rosa felt Draco scoff and laugh at the comment. The air was suddenly a bit more comfortable to him, whilst the opposite was true to her.

“Well… it seems that I can’t even defend myself since it seems curses aren’t effective against you” Rosa could feel him smirking proudly at himself over the clap back.

“Not funny” she frowned and felt Draco’s arms squeezing her a little closer.

“I’m _so_ offended. But I won’t apologize for it. Desperate times” he laughed through his sentences. Rosa didn’t. The warmth that the hug had given her was suddenly gone. She pushed out of the hug and crossed her arms.

“I’m being serious” she said, voice now stronger.

“What? Just a kiss, Rosa. No big deal” Draco looked at the hurt girl for a moment before his eyes widened. “It wasn’t… your first--”

“ _No_. Though the first person who did that, I did slap… just don’t do it again, ok? There are other ways to get people out of their head.” she said as her own hand went to the doorknob. Draco stopped her.

“ _Crabbe_?!” he asked.

“What it comes to me, it seems that whoever decides to kiss me never really cared for my consent” she just stared at the floor.

“I’m sorry for what he did”

 _Liar._

“No, you’re not. You would just… grab my virginity given the chance just so you could add it to your list of girls who you’ve defiled” Draco was suddenly confused over the 180 turn Rosa’s mood had taken.

“Rosa Dawn, I wouldn--”

“Did you not do that to Astoria?” she lifted her gaze to Draco. He was now speechless, and his eyes darkened in agitation.

“Just a kiss, Rosa. Don’t make it out something it’s not”

“Is that what you’re telling her when you break the reservation? Just a casual fuck? Sorry I’m not marrying you, and sure you’re not pure anymore but your cunt was surely lovely?” she clapped back.

“I helped you. A ‘thank you’ would be nice” he ignored her questions. Rosa sighed, looking down. She just put her mask right back on.

“Thank you, Mr. Dr--”

“Don’t start with that pureblood bullshit again, Rosa Dawn” he sighed, expression hard and serious. Rosa scoffed annoyed in turn. 

“What do you want me to do? Just bend onto my knees as suck your cock like a good little whore I am?!”

“It’d be closer to the real you than this shit you’re trying to pull off” he said it under his breath, but Rosa heard it clear as day. And this time, her hand made contact with his cheek. The sound of the slap echoed in the empty closet.

“I-- You… are such… an asshole” Rosa just said trying to find words through her aching heart.

“I won’t be kissing you again, ok? Cross my heart, hope to fucking die, does that make you happy, huh?”

“Very” Rosa spat out.

“Good.” Dra-- Malfoy grabbed the doorknob and jerked it open with a loud creek. Rosa flinched, but didn’t let it show.

“Good” Rosa said and stepped out of the closet before Malfoy.

“Have a bloody merry easter, _Dawn_ ” Malfoy left right then turning his back to the raven haired girl.

A pang hit Rosa’s heart from the way he had addressed her; as a stranger and without any affection toward her.

Malfoy was now added onto her list of people who she had successfully pushed away from her. For some reason Rosa felt like her list was a bigger crime than Malfoy’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, lovelies!
> 
> Leave a bookmark/comment/kudos or just have an amazing day!


	19. The Makings of a Gryffindor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!  
> I hope you're having a lovely time this holiday season.
> 
> I had SO MUCH trouble writing this chapter, I didn't really know how I wanted the whole Easter time to start. And here you have it, the longest chapter in this fic so far, standing at 8.5 pages or +4000 words. Hope you enjoy it!!
> 
> Also thank you to everyone who has been leaving comments and kudos, they do make my day and I do answer each one, so thank you lovelies.

The students had left the Castle, they were probably already halfway to London.. Well, most of them were. Rosa obviously hadn’t. Instead, she was dragging her trunk behind her in her regular clothing and staring up at the Golden Gargoyle.

Her mood had been bad since her conversation with Draco. Even the teachers seemed to notice her foul language and constantly glaring eyes, thus they left her alone during class time and didn’t ask her to answer any questions. Rosa had noted to herself that after her emotions disappeared for a few minutes, they came back tenfold. Now, looking up at the Gargoyle her constant annoyance resurfaced.

“Um… Perrywinkle? Custard tarts? Salted Liquorice? Sherbert Lemon? Sugar Quills? This twat… Earwax fucking every flavour bean? Toffee?!” Rosa kept on guessing. “Chocolate Frogs? Chocolate Wand?” the Gargoyle reacted because _of bloody course_ it did. She climbed up the stairs to the Headmaster’s office.

“Ah, Miss Dawn, I was expecting you” Rosa didn’t audibly greet the old man, in turn she gave him a court nod of the head as a swift hello.

“Though I would request you not to call my Gargoyle a ‘twat’ and refrain from profanity whilst in my presence” Rosa went beetroot. 

“I-- I’m sorry, sir” he just smiled at her with that damn twinkle in his eye. He sat down behind his desk. Rosa looked at him with a confused expression.

“Uh… sir? Aren’t you going to floo me in?” she asked. The Headmaster did not answer, but gestured the chair in front of the desk. Immediately, she sat down.

“I believe you sent Remus some conditions, and he obviously accepted. However I have some conditions of my own” he said, his eyes boring to hers. He could sure be intimidating if he wanted to.

“Sir?” Rosa just asked, shifting so that she was sitting on the palms of her hands; she didn’t want him to see her shaking hands. Her breathing stayed stable, though her voice was shaky.

“Do not worry, I only have three. Number one: You do not get to know where the house is located, and the address will not be spoken around you. I do not trust you enough that you wouldn’t tell some of your other family members where our safe house is. Safety at the Headquarters is my utmost priority”

Rosa nodded in response; it was reasonable.

“Number two: you are to be civil to everyone, and you have no say over who walks in or out of the door, Slytherin or not. You are not there to start a havoc, and you are not there to distress Remus even further”

Rosa gave him yet another nod. That wasn’t a point she particularly liked; it pretty much sounded like the man wanted her to be a lady. A perfectly postured and mannered lady. Rosa looked down to her feet.

“Miss Dawn, I’m not expecting you to act the way your mother would expect you to. I’m simply asking your cooperation. Remus is… excited. His expectations for the Easter are high. Your father is a good friend of mine, Miss Dawn. I simply ask you to consider… forgiveness, though I believe _you_ owe _him_ multiple apologies”

Shame. That was this feeling, simple, utter shame. She felt like a seven-year-old being scolded.

“And number three. You will only get Dreamless Sleeping Draught under very strict regulations” Rosa’s eyes snapped up at the man.

“I won’t go” she said immediately. Dumbledore’s eyebrows shot up for a quick moment.

“You will have access to the potion, but not everyday. Miss Dawn, I think you should understand that you abused it before. We can’t enable you using it in excess” his tone was calm but stern, knowing that he wouldn’t budge.

“Sir, I-I need it! I can sleep, but I just… the-- the dreams” she blabbered, not wanting to over share with the old wizard. She didn’t trust him.

“Miss Dawn, there are other ways of getting rid of unwanted dreams. For now, when you arrive at the Headquarters, Molly Weasley is in possession of the Draught. She will ask you questions whenever you want to use it” he seemed to be finished with the conversation since he stood up and walked towards the fireplace and took a handful of Floo powder into his palm.

“I--No, sir--” her voice was cut out by the sudden eruption of the green flames in the fireplace, Dumbledore turned back to her.

“Your other conditions have been met. Please, do send my regards to everyone else there” he said, gesturing towards the fire - Rosa hasn’t heard him mutter the address. Rosa stood up uncomfortably. She grabbed her trunk, pins and needles going through her palms since she sat on them.

She took a few steps towards the fireplace.

“Have a lovely Easter, Miss Dawn” And then she reluctantly stepped into the fire after Dumbledore gave her back a small nudge.

+++

She liked traveling through Floo better to Apparating. But as she stepped into the dark living room of the Headquarters, she wished she could’ve just used the front door.

The living room she stepped into was empty and dark. She looked around, the old but extremely clean furniture just sat there unmoving. Since Rosa heard quick footsteps coming towards the room, she quickly whipped out her wand and pointed it at the door.

A plump ginger lady walked in with a cheery smile on her face. Her eyes went down to Rosa’s wand and then back to her.

“You must be Rosa! Nothing to be scared of here, dear. Come on in” she smiled, motioning towards the hallway she came from. Rosa didn’t move.

“Who are you?” she asked, her wand still outstretched if the woman decided to attack her.

“Oh, yes, of course. Molly Weasley, dear. You know my son, Ronald?” Rosa nodded, getting mildly creeped out because the woman was not faced at all by being pointed at with a wand. She just kept smiling, inviting Rosa into the Headquarters as if she was not conversing with Death Eaters on a regular basis.

“Where’s my father?” she quickly asked the woman, hand starting to shake slightly. The air was sweet, but Rosa could only feel unsafe in the new environment.

“He’s just in the kitchen, I can fetch him, if you’d like” Mrs. Weasley said, her smile not wavering, not offended in the slightest by the fact that Rosa didn’t trust her. Rosa just nodded at her slightly. The redheaded witch disappeared into the hallway, leaving Rosa alone.

Rosa’s hand was shaking, but she refused to lower her wand. Mrs. Weasley could be lying and bring in a house elf to beat to pulp. Footsteps, this time two pairs, were coming towards her once more.

Her knuckles started turning white just as Mrs. Weasley stepped back into the room together with Remus. Rosa let out a relieved breath and lowered her wand. Remus noted that she didn’t put it back into her jeans.

“Rosa” he greeted taking a couple tentative steps towards her.

“Remus” Rosa said in turn and the air quickly turned awkward. Rosa saw Remus looking her up and down, checking for injuries.

Her appearance was mostly back to normal, the only visible scar on her face being a white slash above her eyebrow and another pink vertical one coming up her neck from the depths of her collar. She walked like anyone else, though she avoided running.

“Stop. I’m fine” she mumbled and was answered by a small chuckle from Mrs. Weasley.

“Let me show you around, then” Remus said with a small smile after he was confident that Rosa wouldn’t fall down after two steps without her cane. Rosa reached for her trunk, but was interrupted by Remus who insisted taking it for her. Together they walked out of the living room to the hallway.

They made their way upstairs, Mrs. Weasley decided to stay down, giving the father-daughter duo a little space. Remus motioned towards the second door on the left after climbing up the stairs.

The room was small, but comfortable. It had a comfortable looking single bed and a worktable with a wooden chair. Rosa looked at the wall above the desk, noticing a dusty lining on it.

“Window?” Rosa asked.

“They removed it, since…” Rosa just nodded. She would’ve preferred to have a window but anything was better than the dungeon at her Mother’s. Since Dumbledore had made it quite clear that Rosa shouldn’t know where the safehouse was, I guess this was one of the precautions. Remus let down the trunk next to the bed.

Awkward silence ensued.

Remus took a step forward and placed his hand on Rosa’s shoulder. He ignored her flinch, and gave her shoulder a small reassuring squeeze.

“I’m happy you came, Rosa” he said with a genuine smile that Rosa could not match.

“So, what’s the plan for the two weeks?” Rosa asked, desperately trying to smile.

“Whatever you want to do. Also, we’re going to get some meat on your bones. Speaking of which, I think it’s pretty much time for late lunch”

“I’m--we’re eating… together?” Rosa asked, brows coming together.

“Is there a problem?” Remus mirrored her expression.

“No. I just thought… since I’m not a member of the Order… and--”

“We’re eating together, Rosa. Like a proper family for once” he threw her a soft smile, before exiting the room. Rosa quickly followed, not letting her father to change his mind. Remus let her lead the way into the kitchen. This was already better than Christmas at her Mum’s.

Though, the kitchen was a different kind of battle. It was not yet full, since most of the kids were still on the Hogwarts Express on their way. Rosa recognized Mad-Eye Moody and a ginger man she just assumed to be Mr. Weasley. There was also a dark-skinned man and…

_Holy fuck._

Rosa gasped and took a few steps back before her back collided with her father’s front. His hand came back to her shoulder, when he noticed her distress. She shook it off immediately.

“Rosa, you already met Molly, there’s her husband, Arthur. Then there’s Mr. Kingsley Shacklebolt and Alastor you already know. And of course--”

“Sirius Black” Rosa said with a broken voice. The murderer, the Death Eater, the bloody _murderer_ Sirius Black was just sitting there, smiling at her.  And no one in the room seemed to notice that _Sirius fucking Black_ was in the bloody kitchen.

She felt a small push on her back, Remus ushering into the room properly and drew out a chair for her casually. Rosa sat down, but not once did she let her eyes leave the felon sitting a little to the right and opposite of her. Even when Mrs. Weasley put a heaping plateful of food in front of her Rosa’s stare didn’t waver. He let out a small laugh.

“Remus,” Rosa flinched, which everyone seemed to notice, “Did you by any chance forget to mention me to your daughter?” he asked.

“Why?” Remus asked in turn, mouth already full of food. He placed a fork next to Rosa’s hand to usher her to eat something.

“She’s looking like she wants to call the dementors over”

“I’m in the room, you know” Rosa butted in, “And there’s nothing he would have to tell me. I know who you are and what you’ve done”

“And you’re scared” Black stated and put a forkful of something into his mouth. Rosa hadn’t even glanced her food.

“I’m face to face with a mass murderer. It’s only natural” Rosa tried to keep her face on neutral, which was easier than she expected. Her heart was beating and she had her wand in her hand underneath the table. She was preparing for the man to hit her with the killing curse, and if that were to happen she would be ready.

“Aren’t you a Gryffindor?” the man challenged, a wicked smile on his face.

“What would bravery be if there was no fear to overcome?” keeping her voice clear and daring was difficult, the man opposite to her was truly terrifying. Why was she being so dumb as to get into a verbal sparring match with fucking Sirius Black? She was scolding herself in her mind, but again kept her face neutral.

“Smart words” he praised.

“Rosa, Sirius is an old friend of mine--”

“He’s still a murderer, Remus. I thought it was supposed to be safe--”

“--and he’s innocent” he finished. A silence fell, and Rosa kept on staring at the ex-convict.

“Can you prove that?” she finally said, entertaining the idea. With the help of Black and Mr. Weasley, Remus went on to explain the whole story from how Black had escaped to Peter Pettigrew to what happened in Rosa’s third year. Processing the information was easy enough, but believing it was another matter.

“So, this Pettigrew… is there any proof other than your word, Mr. Black, that he’s alive?”

“My, Harry’s, Hermione’s, Ron’s, Dumbledore’s and your father’s word, kid” he quickly responded.

“Let me reiterate, Mr. Black, because the word of none of those people in your little list are ones that I trust. Is there any proper proof?”

“You don’t trust your own father’s word?”

“Not in the least. Don’t change the subject”

“By your terms, no, there is no “proper” proof”

“Then it seems I am correct to keep my wand pointing at you underneath the table” Black started chuckling finding the whole situation amusing. Rosa almost let a smirk through. She felt like herself; like when she had insulted Snape in the beginning of the year. It had been so long. A speck of pride went through her together with the constant fear.

“Rosa!” Remus suddenly butted in, scolding. He dipped his head down to Rosa’s lap to check if her words were true. Of course they were. “I promise you a safe place. Do you really trust me that little th--”  
“Yes.” cutting him off and finally turning to look him in the eye.

“Eat” Remus said, motioning to her untouched plate. Rosa looked at her plate and compared it to Remus’ and Black’s who were both eating the same thing.

“Eat, dear, you look much too thin” Mrs. Weasley’s voice came deep from the kitchen.

“She’s waiting for people to eat first, making sure it’s not poisoned” Moody butted in. Remus’ fork came down to the table with a clang, Rosa flinched at the sound.

“You really think--” he started, only to be cut off by Rosa once more.

“I wouldn’t put it past me”

“Why on Earth--”

“Y’know, Mum would hit me and then tell me how it was for my own good, she’d give me a piece of bread a day and with good luck it didn’t have a poison in it, so I apologize if it offends you that I check around that my food doesn’t have any” Rosa ranted and pushed the plate further away from her. She scooted her chair back as to leave, only to be stopped by Remus. Grabbing the plate, he brought it back in front of her and forcefully put a fork into her hand.

“You eat. You can stay in your room for the whole two weeks if you want, but _you will eat_. You are way too thin” he ranted, clearly upset over her words.

Rosa looked up and saw that Black had a piece of casseroll on his fork, whilst still looking at her, he put the fork into his mouth. Once he had swallowed the food he nodded at Rosa, who looked down to her plate to see the same dish on it. She ate a piece and quickly looked up at Black again. This time his fork was loaded with mash and gravy. He ate it first, nodded at her and not long after Rosa ate some from her plate. Somewhere in between the silent exchange, Rosa decided that out of everyone in the room, she trusted Black the most.

“Interesting” Moody said somewhere in between their little lunch. Everyone’s heads turned to him, whilst he was just staring at Rosa. She frowned immediately. “A Gryffindor that is a coward”

“Alastor” Remus warned him, with a growl. As if he was protecting her from his words.

“Bravery isn’t everything to being a Gryffindor” Rosa ignored her father.

“Brave, daring, chivalrous and courageous… the word coward goes against all of those, doesn’t it? Maybe you should go upstairs and check out the Boggart… give us some “proper proof” of your… Gryffindor qualities” he was smirking at her with an evil glint in his eye.

“Well… I never said I was _supposed_ to be a Gryffindor” she said under her breath putting another forful of the safe casseroll into her mouth.

“What did the Hat say to you then?” the one eyed man asked, keeping his grin daring. Rosa looked down and then to Remus in a silent plea to stop the man from asking too many questions. Of course, she got no help from the man, who was now curious himself.

“I’m not answering that question” she said and another forkful made its way to her mouth.

“Rosa, you have to admit, you have more of the characteristics of a Ravenclaw” Remus said offhandedly. Rosa knew he wanted to say Slytherin, but his own bigotry kept him from mentioning the house.

“I can’t be the first Gryffindor you’ve met that you don’t like”

“What did the Hat say to you?” Remus repeated the question, ignoring her comment. Rosa sighed.

“The Hat shouted Gryffindor, that’s the point that’s important, is it not?”

“Come on, kid. Spill” Black encouraged, leaning forward. Rosa’s growl was a perfect mirror of her father’s.

“What do you want me to tell? It wasn’t like my stupid eleven-year-old self was crying the first train ride because Mum didn’t come see me out to Hogwarts and everyone else’s family was. The woman who had raised me to believe Slytherin was the only viable option to be successful eventually, but hey I have a father that was a Gryffindor, right? It’s not like I got a lovely beating the day before so I was thinking what it would be to live with him. He says that he cares, right? And of fucking course me being so dumb thought that if I begged the Hat to be a fucking Gryffindor my father would start caring and see me out in the platform next year--”

“Is that true?” Remus asked, now upset over a whole different reason.

“No, it’s the fantasy you want to be true” Rosa said, you could hear the lie in her voice.

She once more pushed her half empty plate away from her and decidingly stood up. Before she back up from the dinner table she looked down to her father, eyebrows sarcastically raised.

“Have I eaten enough to leave now?”

“You may go, Rosa. Though I expect you to come down for dinner” Rosa nodded in understanding. This was their little compromise then. ‘Eating like a family’ was something Remus wanted and got. The whole thing was ridiculous to her.

She started backing up from the room, not trusting to turn her back to some of the people in the room. Just as she got in the door frame there was a sudden loud ‘pop’ of apparition and hands on her shoulders. Rosa’s wand dropped to the kitchen floor. Mrs. Weasley exclaimed in surprise, but Rosa didn’t have the time to even flinch before her sight was black and her expression blank with glazed eyes.

 

_She was in the dungeon once more, in her cold bed on top of her duvet. She could see the lingering light coming in underneath the locked door to the staircase. It was night, or evening, she didn’t even know anymore._

_Her voice was hoarse and she couldn’t even let out a whimper of pain whenever he tried shifting in her head. She was lying on dried blood, hoping that she wasn’t bleeding anymore. Her face was gaunt and pale, and she could only wish that she could see some proper sunlight soon. Breathing hurt, shaky breaths filling the air._

_Until the pop of Apparition that filled the air._

_A tear dropped on Rosa’s cheek. Not again._

_“--please, Rosa”_

_Another tear dropped on her cheek. She could only sob since she didn’t have the energy to fight with the elf that had come in to torture her. Though she only saw the silhouette of the little creature, that was enough to send her heart beating uncontrollably fast._

_“Wake up, come back, please. Rosa, please”_

_Her chest heaved, as she prepared herself for the first blow. The tiny little house elf was lifting up its hand, a belt that was too big for it raising with it. The buckle rattled, Rosa closed her eyes as the buckle hit her in the thigh._

_“_ Rosa!”

 

As Rosa opened her eyes once more she was in the kitchen looking at her father straight in the eye. Her cheeks were wet and she quickly wiped her face down with her shaky hands. Looking around, she saw the Weasley twins sitting down on the dinner table, red eyed and guilty looking. The one thing she found herself to be was confused over her surroundings and the many people around her. She held her own hands, trying to squeeze them not to shake, her wand long forgotten on the floor.

“Where--”

“Headquarters. You’re in the Headquarters of the Order, remember?” Remus asked, and only when he squeezed her upper arms Rosa noticed that his hands were there. She nodded.

“Date?” Rosa asked, stone-faced, once more trying to process everything.

“April 16th, yeah? You came earlier today, a little over an two hours ago” his tone was gentle. Rosa pressed her eyes closed, since that’s what worked last time.

_Headquarters, kitchen._

_Easter. April 16th._

_Rosa Dawn. Dawn._

_Remus Lupin. Dad._

_Order Members, the Weasleys. Moody. Shakebolt? Sirius Black._

_Draco Lucius Malfoy. He’s not here. Draco’s not here._

Rosa took a deep breath and opened her eyes warily. She nodded and then she saw every single person staring at her, pityingly. It was her first day and she had managed to piss off a possibly innocent mass murderer and Alastor bloody Moody who was known for his auror work _and_ now she had embarrassed herself in front of everyone over a bloody jump scare prank. Oh, and she probably broke Dumbledore’s ‘being civil to everyone’ condition too.

_Fuck._

“I’m… I’m going upstairs” she said with a weak voice, she had gotten hit by a wall of exhaustion, and she felt like if she didn’t go to sleep _now_ her body would do it for her. Fainting in front of everyone didn’t sound like a lovely idea right now. Remus shook his head.

“What day is it?” he asked, he had to check that her brain was functioning correctly.

“April 16th”

“What’s my name?”

“Remus J. Lupin”

“What’s our relationship?”

“You’re my Dad” Remus’ eyebrows shot up slightly when she used the more informal title in her fuzziness.

“Where are you?”

“Order Headquarters”

“When’s your birthday?”

“March 28th”

“How are you feeling?”

“Like shit” Remus nodded and straightened himself up. He kept his hand between her shoulder blades as they started making their way to her room.

Rosa sat down onto her bed, feeling the duvet and sheets, finding comfort in their softness. Her hands were shaking from the flashback and she tried controlling her thoughts in a way that didn’t send her back into the fog that wouldn’t let control herself.

“Does this happen often?” Remus asked, going through her trunk to find something more comfortable for her to wear. She shook her head. “Tell me the truth, Rosa. I’ve never been more terrified in my life, do you understand?” he scolded.

“What… what happened? After they apparated?” Rosa asked, trying to ignore his statement.

“You went rigid, you didn’t even blink. You were gone, like sleeping standing up with your eyes open” he explained and came around, kneeling in front of her, putting a pajama shirt onto her lap.

“How long?”

“About fifteen minutes” Rosa let out a breath. “Does this happen often, Rosa?” Remus asked again.

“This was the second time” she answered honestly.

“Ok... Go to sleep, you look exhausted. You don’t… you don’t need to come down for dinner, just sleep until morning, yeah?”

“What happens tomorrow?”

“We’re going to get rid of that Boggart”

“What?”

“Together. I’m going to prove that bastard Moody who the true Gryffindors in the house are” Rosa swallowed, fearfully.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I really wasn’t supposed to be a Gryffindor… just about the way I became one” again, the lie in her tone was evident.

“The Hat doesn’t make mistakes, Rosa. Besides, I’ll be by your side the whole time” he said with a sweet smile one couldn’t fake.

“Aren’t you angry with me?” Remus’ brows furrowed at the question. “Because of what I said last time I saw you?” he _scoffed_ in amusement.

“I was a teacher, Rosa. I know how teenagers are from time to time. Your mood switches constantly and I understand it. And I know you’ll one day apologize for it. I’m upset over it, but I will not abandon you for some silly words” once more he got that dumb fatherly smile on his face. He moved one of her rogue strands of her behind her ear.

“Ok… um-- can I-- The Draught?” Rosa asked hopefully.

“Not today, Rosa. Just try and sleep and later if you can’t talk to Molly, ok?” she nodded in return, not having the energy to start fighting over it.

Flickering eyes met, and Remus was now considering. Rosa looked to her lap and moved her hand to grab his. She squeezed it, before raising her eyes back to his, scared. He squeezed back.

“This is a start” he gave her hand a final squeeze before he stood up. Grabbing around his deep pocket, he got out her wand and handed it to her. "Goodnight. I love  you" He then exited the room, giving her the much needed space, not expecting her to answer.

Noticing that he hadn’t purposefully closed the door all the way, Rosa swished her wand and closed the door as well as put up a silencing spell since she wasn’t given the Draught. Maybe she could have a better day tomorrow. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> Please do leave a comment/bookmark/kudos or just have a wonderful day and happy Holidays!
> 
> PS - the next chapter might take a little extra time, just because I'm spending Christmas with family. We'll see, when it comes out.


	20. Three Challenges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more I give you the longest chapter in this series so far. At 11 pages (!!!) and +5000 words I was tempted to name it "a lot of stuff happens"
> 
> I hope all of you are enjoying your Holidays and let's see if I'll be able to work out another chapter before the New Year. If not, have a great one peeps, thanks for reading!

Nightmares everywhere. When Rosa woke up to them, sweating and shouting; she was thankful for her skillfully done silencing spells. As her chest heaved, she remembered her surroundings. A quick  _ tempus _ charm told her that it was just past 5 am. 

Getting up with a groan after she listened her stomach grumble, she digged her trunk through to find a comfy oversized t-shirt and black jeans. If Rosa were to spend the Easter holidays with her father, she could damn well wear muggle clothing that her mother had always forbade. 

Skipping on her shoes, she silently opened the door and started making her way to the kitchen, careful not to make any noise. The door was cracked open and light was shining into the hallway, through which she peeked in.

Inside the kitchen, Sirius and Remus sat, both looking like they hadn’t slept at all. Between them a half empty coffee pot whilst the wizards sipped the black liquid from their cups. 

“--just how am I supposed to?” Remus asked, looking more stressed and tired than after a full Moon. 

“You’re doing fine, Moony. It just takes time”

“Arthur’s been a good father since Bill’s birth” 

“Arthur didn’t have a bitch for a fiance” Rosa then opened the door violently. Both of the men jumped, spilling their coffees onto the tablecloth. The youngest witch shot a proper death glare to Sirius. 

“Rosa” Remus greeted after cleaning up his mess on the table. “Did you sleep well?”   


“If I did, I wouldn’t be awake at 5, would I?” she shot at him, still staring at the other man. Deciding to sit on the table next to Remus, Rosa took a mug for herself and filled it to the brim with coffee. 

“Please do continue with your previous conversation” she dared, shooting another glare at the ex-convict. 

“I was just saying that Remus is stressing too much over being a good father--”   


“Sirius” Remus’ tone was warning.

“Well, Remus, you don’t need to worry about becoming a good Dad. Your bitch of an ex-fiance made sure that I would never think of you as one.” Rosa knew that the fact would hurt him. The pang of shame eventually hit her when Remus’ eyes went to the floor and he didn’t give her an answer. She cursed herself in her head once more.

“You’re just going to let her get away with that?” Sirius asked, his mouth gaping open.

“It’s fair--”   


“Madilyn is the one who pushed you away! Have you not told her that?! About the custody battle back then? How she fucking ruined your fut--”   


“Shut up” Remus said, overly calm looking at his best friend with pleading eyes. The man ignored him and turned to Rosa.

“Rosa. Show your father some respect”

“Why did he not show me any when I was a child? How much time did he have..? I--I waited for you to show up, but you never did… You know like when I had nightmares at yours and… you would come and make everything better… I waited for you! You just disappeared. Why do I have to show you any respect when… when I didn’t get anything in return? when you wouldn’t-- you wouldn’t just come and see me at all? And… Mum was… she--” Rosa started shaking her head, looking down. 

This is when Remus actually noticed for the first time that Rosa how exposed her arms were, since there was no cloth covering them; showing how they were littered with scars. He had to take a few sharp breaths not to floo straight to Madilyn’s house (wherever she lived nowadays) and kill her himself. He reached for her arm, tracing couple of the slashes with his fingertips. 

Rosa didn’t flinch at the touch. She could see him touching her scars, which she despised, but she could not feel his gentle touch on her skin. 

“I’m sorry” Remus just said to her, continuing to trace some of her scars.

“I… I can’t--”

_ Feel that. _   


“I know” he had misunderstood. Rosa swiftly ushered Remus’ hand off of her and stood up, escaping the rest of the conversation to upstairs. Knowing that Remus would follow her to her room, she decided to explore the house a bit, since everyone was still sleeping.   

Rosa’s attention was quickly driven to an open door that was off its hinges. Stepping into the empty room, a small gasp left her mouth when she understood what the tapestry was. Her emerald eyes studied the family tree. 

“Of course you’d be here” she mumbled when she saw Draco’s face grazing the wall. Rosa stared at the blonde boy longingly. Sure, she had gotten used to not speaking to him days on end, but she was very used to the feeling of him looking at her. His silver eyes would keep watch of her movements, making sure that she was ok. Those looks Rosa found herself missing.

She had no idea what the feelings she had were for the boy. Something in her craved for their childhood friendship, but she would be lying to himself if she’d box them into the confines of only friendship. Rosa was definitely still mad at him, but something in her heart ached when she looked at Draco’s portrait. 

“You can’t escape from those conversations forever” Rosa flinched at the sound, turning violently to the door. Sirius was leaning against the door frame, waiting for Rosa to answer his statement. 

“I know. But for now I can so I will” Rosa answered honestly. Sirius nodded and walked into the room looking at the branches of the tree. 

“I see you found the family tree” he just stated, ignoring the earlier topic completely.

“Where are you?” Sirius’ jaw dropped open, shocked of her knowledge. “Narcissa Malfoy. I know her, she was a Black, wasn’t she? Bellatrix too. It has to be the Black family tree”    


“Don’t tell the others you know that”   


“That this is the Black House? I figured… Father would have a fit knowing I’m going against Dumbledore’s conditions” she said under her breath. 

“Don’t speak of Dumbledore in that manner in this house, Rosa. Also… I’m here to warn you” Rosa reached for her wand instinctively when the words left the mans mouth. She felt the panic rise when she realized she didn’t have it on her. With wide eyes she looked at the man. 

“I’m not going to hurt you” he said when he noticed her distress. “I’m saying that you can’t keep talking to Remus the way you currently are. Do you have any idea how much he cares for you, talks about you? Honestly, you’re being an ungrateful brat” Rosa scowled at the man. She would’ve left the room if Sirius wasn’t blocking the way.

“Ungrateful?” she mumbled silently, “I wouldn’t expect you to understand me at all” she finished. Sirius scoffed and pointed a burnt circle on the tapestry.

“My mother did that. We have more in common than you think” With a hopeful expression, Rosa studied the burnt piece of wall reading the name ‘Sirius’ underneath it. She rolled her eyes.

“No, we don’t.  _ Accio  _ wand” she said with her hand outstretched. Sirius’ brows came together as they waited for her wand to hit her palm. She pointed it at the black smudge. 

“ _ Inesto _ ” she incantated quietly with an elegant counter clockwise flick of her wrist. They watched how the brim of the circular brim caught fire. Sirius’ eyes bored into the fire as the flames made their way into the middle of the smudge. They left a trail of an unburnt portrait of the young Sirius, which was quickly maturing into the man he was today. The flames eventually disappeared into the air with a small puff of smoke. Sirius was rendered speechless, it had been years since he had seen his face grazing the wall together with all of his family.

“Your mother was mad at you. If she disowned you she would’ve burnt the name too” she explained the man who was now in the brink of tears.

“H-how..?” he asked his fingers gracing the photo on the wall.

“I wanted to be part of a family portrait when I was a kid; my Mum had none. I had a friend…” Rosa took a small pause to look at Draco’s portrait quickly, “--his house was filled with them. I always wanted one… Just one with me, Mum and Dad. Or just me and Mum. Or just me and D-- Remus. Obviously, I never got one… The family tree is the ultimate family portrait, right? I uh… found out that I’m not in the Dawn one, so I started doing re-search. I… I checked the Lupin tree too. I wasn’t in it either. So, I kept on reading, learning spells as I went. And then… well…” Rosa looked down to the floor, frowning. Sirius didn’t dare to speak since he got the girl to share something personal. 

“I was born out of wedlock. I’m a bastard… so… I’m not officially a Dawn or a Lupin. The magic in the family trees don’t see me as part of the family and no spell would make me part of one... unless Mum and Dad suddenly married. No family portrait for me since it seems I have no family that want me” 

“Why are you telling me all this? The supposed mass murderer?” Sirius asked with a small smile. 

“You thought you could relate to me. I’m telling you that you can’t”   


“Because your situation is  _ so  _ much worse?” Sirius was challenging her, something that Rosa was not used to. Her jaw just plopped open, clearly offended.

“Do not mock me!” she exclaimed not really knowing what to say.

“I know what you’re trying to do here, Rosa. You don’t have it the worst in the world, so wallowing in self pity won’t affect me. It works on Remus, since he feels guilty, but I have no responsibility over you. Your situation is unfortunate but you can’t only blame it--”   


“You have no idea--”   


“13 years in Azkaban, Rosa. I have an idea” Sirius reminded her. Rosa exhaled sharply, feeling her eyes welling up. No. She would not cry in front of him again. 

“You don’t know what the fear is like” her voice was no louder than a whisper. 

“Yes, I--”   


“NO, YOU DON’T!” the tears hit her cheeks as she shouted at the man. “You have no idea what it feels like to… to lie on a pile of your own blood in the darkness and just wait. Just wait in the cold for a pop of apparition and… and if it’s before lunch you have a chance it’s food. If it’s not food it’s punishment. All day long. After lunch-- after food, if you hear that pop you know it’s a beating. It’s fucking terrifying! It’s silent all day, and then there’s suddenly an elf, and it’s a pretty fucking good chance for-- the pain-- the pain, you have no idea!” Rosa rambled and sobbed through her sentences as she continued to rant.

“And it-- it never leaves! Even now! Over here it’s-- it’s eight hours of peaceful sleep for everyone, and smiling even if I point them with a bloody wand and-- and that casseroll stuff... the one that Mrs. Weasley makes that’s really good-- and-- and cookies-- it’s so bloody perfect here! And Dad’s here!” a harsher sob left her throat. 

“And he says he cares and that he loves me-- I… I don’t know how I’m supposed to react to that! I--I just… if he loses the custody trial he’s just going to leave me again! I don’t-- I can’t… I see how he looks at me! Like I’m this bloody broken thing he’s supposed to fix and he had no idea what to do with me! I’m… so fucking scared. He… He’s too good and I don’t know how… What if he wins the whole trial? What--what stops him from just… snapping his fingers and then--then there’s an elf and then I’m scarred again? Or-- or he’ll leave--”   


“He won’t” Sirius assured the now red-eyed girl. 

“How do you know that?” Rosa knew she looked absolutely pathetic in that moment. 

“Because he didn’t want to leave in the first place” the sentence was simple but it ignited a ray of hope in her. 

“I-- I’m scared, I… I wake up and I’m a different person from yesterday, my mood goes all over the place-- don’t say it’s puberty, it’s not. I’m tolerable the first moment and then an absolute bitch because of a ridiculous comment that he didn’t even make! It’s… I think, I’ll-- I’m scared that one day I’ll get stuck with a bad one…or the one where I just… am stuck in a nightmare… sleeping my eyes open” 

“You know what’s wrong with your thought process?” Sirius asked with a tiny smile.

“A lot of things” Rosa scoffed quietly, looking down at the floor once more.

“Rosa, you explode on people. I didn’t need to agitate you for five minutes and you unloaded on me a ridiculous amount of information that is extremely personal. You did the same yesterday at lunch, when we talked about your Sorting? You need someone to tell things to or you’ll end up telling something you don’t want to tell to someone who will use it against you. You know where I’m going with this, yeah?”   


“Remus?” she asked. Sirius nodded. 

“You could start by calling him ‘dad’” he scoffed.

“I can’t do that. Not yet. It’s too informal, it-- it makes everything ok” 

“Then ‘father’ should suffice. The point is, you have to be honest with him. Moony is going to go crazy if he thinks you’re in danger, or if there’s something wrong with your health. Seriously, he was desperate when you didn’t answer his letters. He was terrified. Yesterday… he was-- You can’t keep doing this to him. He won’t tell you to stop, but I will” Rosa realized that she was being scolded for a good bloody reason. Nodding, she ascended to the now regular feeling of shame that didn’t really want to leave the pit of her stomach. 

“I’m sorry” she said, looking up at the wizard.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to”   


“I know… but I can’t do that yet” Sirius nodded in understanding. 

“You know that I will tell him everything you just told me?” It was Rosa’s turn to nod.

“Why do you think I didn’t run straight out of the door when you started annoying me? I can’t speak to D--him yet, but maybe you could… tell him not to-- not to give up on me?” 

“That’s what godfathers are for” Rosa’s eyes widened in surprise. “And Molly’s your godmother, since your father likes to withhold information from you. Though technically it’s not official since the bit-- Madilyn--uh--disapproved” 

“I should hex you for that” Rosa mumbled.

“But you won’t”   


“No. Next time though.” Rosa considered before continuing, “I feel like I should give you a hug, but… I’ll flinch and… stuff”   


“I’ll be happy with a handshake” 

It was awkward and Rosa did flinch slightly, but they did shake hands, smiling. 

 

+++

 

It took all of 30 minutes for Remus to run up the stairs and loudly barge into Rosa’s room where she was peacefully doing homework. She jumped up to her feet from the noise, looking at her father who was panting. His eyes were red and puffy, some wetness underneath them. 

“I’m here now. I will never leave, I promise you that. Rosa--”

“Even if you lose the trial?” Remus was slightly perplexed by the question; one of Rosa’s conditions in coming was not talking about the custody battle. But her face told it all, she needed a truthful answer. 

“I won’t give up on you, Rosa. Ever. I’m here now” Remus said, if the statement was a lie, Rosa would declare him the best liar in the whole bloody universe.   


“You’re late. By like, a lot” Rosa decided to trust him with this. She would still keep a watchful eye on him, but his eyes… he couldn’t be lying. 

He took confident steps towards her, opening his arms, ready to embrace her. To his disappointment, Rosa flinched and took a couple quick steps back. She shook her head slightly.

“I… I can’t… not yet” 

“I love you”  She couldn’t say it back to him. “I know” Remus said, with a gentle smile. “How about we go take care of the Boggart in the attic? Do some bonding over our greatest fears?” Rosa frowned.

“I didn’t think you were serious.”

“Come on. If you don’t do any chores around the house, Molly will ask you to fertilize something” Remus contorted his face; he was definitely speaking from experience. They started walking towards the attic, Rosa’s steps were way more wary than Remus’ confident ones. She was not liking this whole idea, but something in her stupid ass brain was telling her to just go with it. Coming up to a door, Remus placed his hand onto the doorknob.

“Wand” it was an order. Rosa got hers out without a second thought. “Incantation?”

“ _ Riddikulus _ ” she answered clearly. He nodded and twisted the knob and stepped in first. Inside the windowless little space was a desk, with a built in drawers. One of the drawers was shaking, the Boggart in it wanting to get out. 

“Ready?” 

“No” Rosa said, feeling her heartbeat rise. Honestly, she had no idea what shape the Boggart would take, which made her even more scared. I mean, Remus’ was going to take the shape of the Moon, so he had nothing to fear. 

“I will let it attack me first and then you finish it, ok?” Rosa just nodded in answer. She pointed her wand at the desk silently. It opened on its own, Rosa assumed Remus had a lot to do with that. He took a few steps forward to let the Boggart find his fear. 

It wasn’t a surprise that the Boggart took the shape of the full Moon. But Remus waited to transfigure it.

“Why aren’t you--?”

“Wait” Remus just told the girl. 

The moon suddenly started to morph, it got emerald eyes and raven hair as well as a human body. After a few seconds it was the splitting image of Rosa; only paler and thinner. Rosa watched as her twin morphed further to look like her when she was after Christmas; a swollen shut black eye, red slashes on her cheek and forehead. But her white shirt started turning crimson with fresh blood. The twin swayed until her shirt was wet and an angry red colour instead of the pristine white. Her eyes turned to the back of her head and within the second Rosa’s twin laid on the floor, dead. Rosa gasped.

“ _ Riddikulus _ ” Rosa’s unmoving body turned into a tiny dancing clown. Neither of the two laughed. Remus only motioned her to step forward to face the monster. Rosa warily did, still shocked of seeing herself die. Remus stepped so that he was right behind Rosa.

The Boggart reacted to the girl, and morphed. Soon, Madilyn Dawn and a man in muggle clothing who Remus didn’t recognize stood in front of her. Rosa took a sharp intake of air, her eyes mostly on the unnamed person. He was visibly scared, but he didn’t move an inch, as if he was under a bodybind.

“Come on, Rosa, you need to learn” Madilyn said with her menacing smile. “Kill him” Rosa shook her head, her chest now heaving and tears threatening to drop. “Kill the muggle, Rosa” Madilyn’s tone was changing, now more stern and demanding.

“Remember the incantation, Rosa. She can’t hurt you” Remus said behind her. Rosa lifted her wand but couldn’t think of anything to make the scene funny. 

“Do you want me to demonstrate?” Rosa violently shook her head, her wand now shaking.

“Rosa. She can’t hurt him” 

_ Something funny.  _

_ Something funny. _

_ Fuck! _

_ Something funny. _

_ Something funny. _

“Turn her into Peeves” Remus was right there behind her, whispering into her ear. Rosa felt a squeeze on her upper arm - when did his hand get there?

She couldn’t make herself to say the incantation when she saw Madilyn taking out her wand and pointing it at the muggle man. She sent her a menacing smile, but this time it was not Madilyn at all. 

Madilyn had somewhere in between Rosa’s thoughts morphed into Rosa herself. The twin gave the real Rosa another smile, like she was enjoying the situation, like she was enjoying to be about to kill the muggle.

“Rosa--”   


“ _ Avada Kedavra! _ ” Rosa shrieked, looking as a green flash left from the wand that was identical to her own.

“I-- I can’t” Rosa sobbed. Another squeeze on her upper arm. She stared into the already glazed eyes of the dead muggle.

“Yes, you can” Remus’ voice was strong and confident, full of belief. “It’s not real” he reminded her once more. 

_ Peeves. _

_ Peeves. _

“ _ Riddikulus _ ” Rosa sobbed out, watching as the dead body and her own twin morphed awkwardly into the poltergeist. It laughed loudly, and quickly the Boggart destroyed itself. With a loud ‘poof’ it was destroyed. 

“Rosa--” 

“Don’t ask” she whispered at him. He walked to face her, definitely not laughing.

“You wrote that you knew what the Death Curse was like in action--”   


“It was overlined, you shouldn’t’ve read that” she could feel her chest starting to heave.

“That Muggle--”   


“Shut up” 

“Did Madilyn kill--”   


“SHUT UP!” Rosa shouted as a sob left her throat. “I--I CAN’T” she pressed her eyes closed trying to rid herself of the memory that was threatening to invade her mind. She felt Remus’ hands squeezing her upper arms, the gesture reminding her of Draco. 

“In and out, with me now, Rosa” Remus inhaled deeply, which Rosa tried her best to follow. They exhaled deeply together. “I’m here, she can’t hurt you anymore” 

“Don-n’t lie t-to me” Remus shook his head and breathed deeply in and out together to calm Rosa down. 

“She can’t hurt you here” Rosa nodded in understanding, trying to believe his words. 

+++

For the next couple of days Rosa kept herself out of the way. After the hole Boggart incident Rosa retreated into her room and stayed there, only to come out for breakfast, lunch and dinner since Remus had insisted. 

During those times Rosa stayed silent during the conversations. No one spoke of Order business whilst she was present; even when she walked into a room the room silenced itself. Even though Rosa from time to time wanted to give them some information, she stopped herself from oversharing after Sirius’ advise. 

Successfully avoiding Potter and Weasley was quite easy; Rosa only needed to keep herself in the house’s tiny library/study or her room which the boys never vacated. Mrs. Weasley was the one telling Rosa to ‘be a bit more social’, the advice she obviously ignored. 

Remus would at least once a day go up to her room or find her in the library to have a short conversation. They would avoid topics that made them uncomfortable; him being a werewolf, the trial and Rosa’s abuse being on top of the list. Instead they bonded over magical theory and Hogwarts. If he could’ve, Remus would’ve talked about more pressing matters, but since Rosa was willingly talking to him without picking up a fight, he wasn’t about to change that.

Rosa’s nights were littered with more nightmares from Christmas. She continued to put up her silencing spells since she was still waking up covered in sweat and a scream leaving her mouth. Chugging coffee every moment she had the chance, bloody Mrs. Weasley had refused to give her the Dreamless Sleeping Draught because ‘you can get rid of dreams in other ways, dear’. Of course, she hadn’t had an alternative to do just that. 

Rosa was now a woman on a mission. The nightmares were getting worse, her brain showing her the muggle dying over and over again. The bags underneath her eyes were growing and she knew Remus was also noticing. 

Already over Remus’ worrying looks and knowing that there was an Order meeting that evening, Rosa was sure she could trade her information to the Draught. It really was an easy decision to barge in to the meeting was an easy one. She didn’t even bother to knock on the kitchen door, instead she loudly pushed it open staring straight at Moody who was sitting at the head of the table. 

“No underaged witches or wizards permitted” Mrs. Weasley scolded immediately. Rosa didn’t waver.

“I’ll tell you everything I know.” she said, noticing the sudden intrigue in Moody’s eye. 

“Rosa, you’re not supposed to be here” Remus said with his calm fatherly tone. 

“Do you know that he’s recruiting students? I’ll give you names” couple gasps were heard throughout the room. 

“What do you want in return?” 

“Alastor, do not--” Remus was now standing, really not wanting her daughter to be dragged into the war, especially this early.

“Dreamless Sleeping Draught” she cut him off. 

“That’s a low price” Moody commented. 

“No” this time Remus walked to her, gently taking her by the arm and ushering her out of the kitchen, closing the door behind him.

“You  _ will not  _ be part of the Order at least until you’re of age. You will not, _ under any circumstances _ sell any of your information to anyone. If you have a problem, you come to me” he scolded her with a hushed voice so no one in the kitchen could listen in on their conversation. 

“Fine. Give me the Draught then”

“Molly--”

“Won’t give me any, I’ve asked” Rosa spat the words out with a glare.

“You’re… Rosa--”

“You’re not going to give me any, are you?” Rosa frowned.

“I don’t want to get you addicted--”

“That was one time--”   


“You just barged in a secret meeting to get some! Tell me that’s because you actually can’t sleep at all and not because you crave it?” 

_ Well, fuck. _

“I just want to sleep” and with that Rosa, like a proper teenager, stomped up the stairs unnecessarily loudly.

 

_ She was permitted to go upstairs today, though Madilyn had levitated her up there. Seeing the sky after how-ever-many days through the window felt like heaven. Rosa sat on the couch uncomfortably, trying to keep her back straight in a perfect posture like her mother always managed to. The trial was a failure, her back being to raw to keep it in posture. _

_ Madilyn smiled at her menacingly, bending so that their eyes were level, one of her ways for Rosa to feel vaguely equal to her. They both knew that the older witch had all the power in the situation; Rosa’s wand was locked up somewhere.  _

_ “You need to learn, Rosa” hearing the the front door open with a loud creak, Rosa turned her head with a whimper to see who was walking in.  _

_ “Welcome, dear guest” Rosa tried keeping her face neutral instead of the terror that took over her brain. A muggle man, in his 30’s, was levitated in by the elves. This was the same man the Boggart had turned into, and he was holding onto the same horrified expression as the Boggart had. The only difference being that this was indeed real.  _

_ The elves let the man stand, but still kept him in a bodybind. Rosa saw how the man’s eyes moved around, trying to understand if he was dreaming or not.  _

_ “Isn’t he just pitiful, Rosa?” Madilyn spoke with childlike amusement and for the first time Rosa knew where Umbridge learnt her little giggly laugh. Her mother was circling the man with a predatory grin, excited to play.  _

_ “Stand up” she ordered Rosa.  _

_ “I can’t” Rosa regretted her words when she saw a sudden fire burning behind Madilyn’s eyes.  _

_ “Layla” she called the elf, who snapped its fingers. Rosa felt her body being lifted similarly to the muggle man. Her legs hit the floor, but Layla’s magic was helping her stand. She still had to bite her cheek until it bled not to start screaming over the pain she felt from just standing.  _

_ “Darling, you need to learn. Come on. Here.” before Rosa knew it, she felt the familiar feeling of her wand on her bruised palm. She felt her magic filling her being once more, letting her relax slightly.  _

_ “Kill the muggle, Rosa” a gasp of terror left the mouths of both the muggle man and Rosa. “You need to prove to the Dark Lord that you are desirable. Kill the muggle, Rosa” Madilyn went on, her stare now rivalring the insanity of Bellatrix’s. Rosa shook her head.  _

_ “Would you like a demonstration” Rosa shook her head once more. _

_ “Please don’t” her voice was hoarse and barely there, but Madilyn seemed to understand her just fine.  _

_ “The Dark Lord isn’t as kind as I am, Rosa. If he tells you to kill, you kill. Look at him! A pitiful, pathetic little man. What can he be? What could he achieve without our guidance, since he has no magic to help him through life? Why is it that we have to hide? Why is it that he, who has less, who is less, gets to control us? They deserve death” _

_ “No. Please let him go” Rosa begged, shaking her head.  _

_ Madilyn stood behind her, lifting her own wand. It was an awkward half hug, as her wand hand was so close to her, to her it looked like it could’ve been her own hand pointing the weapon. _

_ “Please--” _ _   
_

_ “I’ll demonstrate this once. Next time you’ll do this yourself” Madilyn spat, her mouth right next to her ear.  _

_ ‘I’m sorry’ Rosa mouthed at the muggle man, whose eyes were widened in fear. “Don’t, please, no--” _ _   
_

Avada Kedavra _!” And then Rosa screamed. The man’s eyes glazed over and his last breath left his body. Rosa kept on screaming. The man was dead.  _

_ “ROSA!”  _

_ He was still being kept up by the bodybind, his corpse standing whilst the rest of his body drained of colour.  _

_ “WAKE UP!” _ _   
_

_ When one of the elves snapped its fingers once more, the corpse fell to the ground, limp and dead. Rosa’s voice was going hoarse.  _

_ “Next time I bring a muggle home, you kill it. Whether you like it or not” _

 

Rosa’s eyes snapped open, and she was vaguely aware that she was still screaming. Her face was puffy, red and very notably wet. But what her eyes saw was something she hadn’t experienced yet. 

All the Weasley’s, Sirius and Potter were standing around her bed or pitifully looking at her from the door. Remus was sitting on the bed, petting her hair, when she noticed the touch, the flinched violently. 

What she found the most frustrating was not the shame that came with people around staring at her pitiful state, but the fact that she couldn’t stop crying. She sobbed and weeped openly, the only comfort coming from Remus’ gentle touch on her head. 

Maybe it was her broken heart or her sleepy mind, but Rosa shifted, inserting herself into Remus’ embrace. She might have looked and felt like a 5-year-old, but Rosa didn’t have the energy to care. Her legs were halfway in his lap, her hand around his shoulders, whilst she buried her face into his chest. Remus’ hands instantly came to embrace her, his right hand continuing to pet her head.

“You’re safe here. No one will hurt you here. I love you. They can’t hurt you. Dreamland monsters, remember?” he whispered into her ear as she soaked his pajama collar. 

“Tell them to go away” Rosa mumbled onto his chest. She felt Remus’ head moving, and quickly after without words, heard the group of people surrounding them exiting the room. The room was now only filled with Rosa’s slowly silencing sobs and the duo’s breathing.

“You’re ok. Dreamland--”   


“They can hurt you if the monsters real” Rosa battled his words, still clinging onto him, refusing to let go of the security she felt being engulfed in his arms. 

“Then like I promised, as long as I’m your father, they can’t hurt you”   


“What if they already did?”

“Then I’ll do everything in my power they can never hurt you again” 

Rosa nodded into his chest, closing her eyes. She shifted a couple of times, but not once, no matter how uncomfortable he felt, would Remus move his position. 

This was the first time in 6 years he was embracing his daughter. It didn’t matter if he was feeling pins and needles in his legs as Rosa was practically in his lap. She was scared, shaking, and crying. It was his duty to make sure she would be safe; he had neglected that duty already too many times. Rosa’s breathing started being more constant, but she still did not let go of him.

“She killed the muggle” she whispered, voice barely audible. It was a weight lifted off of her, the knot of shame easing slightly. 

“I know, Rosa. I know” and before he knew it, Rosa once more fell asleep in his arms. This time though, it was calm and dreamless as her father’s arms lowered her to the bed. For the first time in months, she felt safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!  
> Also a little special little thank you here since this is the 20th chapter to everyone who keeps commenting, they make my day and keep me writing, so thank you!!!
> 
> Leave a kudos/bookmark/comment or have a lovey-dovey day (I'm starting to run out of adjectives here, my English isn't that good to find more synonyms... XD I have to start googling that shit)


	21. Choiceless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I managed to get this done after 4 drafts! A difficult one to write 100% and because of that, once more we have the longest chapter so far. We're at 12 pages and +6000 words, so do enjoy. Next one will be coming your way sometime after the New Year.  
> Also, I completely forgot to mentioned that during the last chapter we surpassed 100 pages, through right now it's more in the lines of 120. Hehe. 
> 
> Have a good one, thanks for reading.

The following morning, Rosa woke up with a start and very notably alone. She ignited the lamp on her bedside table and out of habit grabbed her wand and cast a tempus charm. 10.44 am.

_10.44 AM?_

Since when does Rosa Dawn not wake up when the sun comes up? Since bloody when does Rosa bloody Dawn wake up this late? She had basically missed breakfast. It was closer to afternoon than morning. What--

Oh yeah. The blurry memory of her screaming into his father’s chest reminded her of the fact that she did probably wake up at 5, but instead of starting her day she had…

_Shit._

...done something really dumb like told him the truth. And he had accepted it. He seemed fine with it. He had been kind. Whilst everyone else’s eyes were filled with pity for Rosa, she had not seen the same look in his eyes. Concern and worry, that was what his eyes were filled with. Maybe he deserved a chance.

Shaking her head, Rosa got up this time dressing herself with a long sleeved turtleneck jumper and jeans, making sure that all her scars were hidden. She didn’t need anymore pity from the vacants of the house. Remembering her wand this time, Rosa walked downstairs straight into the kitchen.

Like so many times before, the room silenced when she walked in. Basically the whole Weasley clan except for Percy and Charlie were there. Potter was reading the newest Prophet with a frown and Sirius was sitting at the head of the table next to Moody. Rosa noticed Remus’ hand on Potter’s shoulder reassuring him.

“C’mon, son, you shouldn’t read that crap” Rosa felt something weird in her stomach because of the simple word. _Son._ Remus kept straightened himself, taking a sip from his coffee cup. He noticed Rosa in the doorway.

“Good morning” it was the most she had ever said when entering the room. Some of them smiled warmly and some were surprised. “I uh… wanted to apologize and ask for a favor” Remus’ curiosity was peaked, but Mrs. Weasley beat him to it.

“What is it, dear?”

“Well… First off for waking you up last night, I’m sorry. It seems that… I uh… forgot to put my silencing charm up” There was a crashing sound, as Remus dropped his (thankfully) empty mug onto the floor. The floor was now coated with tiny pieces of porcelain. Rosa swiftly ignored his horrified face.  
“And I had hoped you wouldn’t bring it up again… It is extremely humiliating as it is and… well… y’know--”

“You’ve been here almost a week, Rosa. Tell me you haven’t woken up like that every night” Remus’ eyes were pleading. The only reason why Rosa answered truthfully was because she felt like she owed it to him for yesterday.

“I wake up like that every night I don’t use the Draught. You--” she had to bite her tongue not to shoot him an insult. Molly gasped, feeling guilty since it was always her denying her requests for the potion.

“Oh, dear. Sit down, eat some, we will discuss this later. Remus if you’d clean your mess…” and everyone went on like nothing had happened. Like it was like any other morning. Like it was okay for her to wake up screaming bloody murder. Remus came quickly to eat breakfast beside her. Sirius shot Rosa a look which she somehow knew how to interpret. She turned to Remus after swallowing hard.

“Re-- D--” She tried starting, turning to Sirius for some mental support. She got a reassuring nod from the man. Another deep breath.

“F--Father?” Rosa asked. The reaction to the title in the room was bigger than the morning greeting. She could see giggles and reassuring smiles coming towards her from around the table. Remus had to clear his throat for some reason.

“Yes, Rosa?” he encouraged. You could hear a needle dropping in the room, that’s how much people were anticipating her next words.

“I uh… was wondering if we could go outside today? Like… Diagon Alley or something?”

“Is there something you need to buy?” Remus asked, his eyebrows practically sewed together with his hairline. Rosa shook her head slightly.

“No, I just-- I just want to see the sky. I think I’m going a bit… stir crazy” she explained, trying to bite down every unnecessary comment she could say for him asking the question. He was nodding.

“And you’re sure that you can take the crowd?” Rosa paled slightly at the idea of her being pushed around in the mass of people that vacated the alley during holidays. She frowned in disappointment.

“How about I take you out for lunch? Or I can take you to my place, you haven’t been in ages--”

“Yes.” Rosa said quickly at the idea of going back to her safe place. Remus smiled gently.

“It’s settled then”

They left together a few hours later. They had to apparate out of the house, since Rosa wasn’t allowed to see the outside of the house. Rosa had asked if they could use the floo, but apparently ‘it wasn’t as convenient’. Bullshit is what that was, Rosa made sure that Remus knew exactly what she thought of it. He had only responded with a ‘I wondered when you would appear again’. That had silenced her.

Before she knew it, she felt the extremely uncomfortable pull on her belly button and within the second the urge to vomit. She took a moment to steady herself once more, waving her at Remus not to get all concerned on her.

“I hate apparating”

“You’ll get used to it in time”

“That’s what Narcissa bloody Malfoy said, but it still feels horrib--” The smell hit her first. Her shoulders relaxed, all previous adrenaline leaving her body within the minute. She inhaled the scent, smiling.

“I always loved this place” and only now, a little older she could see that it wasn’t as big, the hallways being quite narrow and short, when she remembered them huge and long. There were cracks on the walls, the wallpaper grey and worn. But the sun was coming in from the windows unlike at the Black house, where the blinds were charmed to close whenever she stepped into a room.

She ran to a window, opened it and let the quite chilly air in. She inhaled the fresh oxygen looking up at the cloudless sky. And there it was, Remus saw the sight that would light up his patronus over and over again; Rosa’s true, genuine and huge smile. He chuckled to himself.

“Everything alright?” he eventually asked a couple minutes later when the air inside turned cold. Rosa nodded.

The morning replayed in her head. _Son._ She considered for a moment.

“Can I ask you something?” she questioned, closing the window, but still keeping her eyes on the sky.

“What is it?” Lupin’s tone was suddenly worried.

“What do you think of Potter?” his eyebrows raised.

“I think I told you, Harry is a good kid.. Why-- Oh. _Oh._ Do you like Ha--”

“Do you love him?” Rosa cut him off before he could misunderstand. But he seemed extremely confused by the question; his face contorted into a weird frown.

“I uh… in a sense, I guess, yes” Rosa nodded, her eyes going down to the floor.

“Like… Like a son?” Remus wondered if Rosa could hear the click in his brain.

“Are you jealous?”

“Just answer the question, Father”

“I love Harry the way Sirius loves you. But the love I have for Harry does not compare to the love I feel towards my own daughter”

“I’m not jealous” she knew that Remus could hear the lie in her voice, ignoring his little chuckle.

“There’s no need to be. I would be no father for Harry. Sirius has already taken the job from James, and no one but James could completely fulfill the job” he explained. “Besides, I think  have my hands full enough with parenting without Harry” At that Rosa did laugh. A small, comfortable silence fell, which Remus wanted to quickly break.

“Do you want a tour?”

“Can I just… wonder for a bit? Inside, I mean?”

“I’ll be in the kitchen. Any requests for lunch?” the domestic conversation lit up a ray of hope in both of them. This could be their everyday if he won the custody battle. A constant, safe, everyday.

“Do you still make that pasta sauce? With too much salt in it?” Remus couldn’t help himself but to laugh.

“One canned pasta sauce coming up” Rosa’s jaw dropped open.

“You did not make it out of a can! That was like the best thing you made! You are a horrible cook” she exclaimed, joining in his laughter.

“I’ll see what I can whip up” Remus only winked at her and walked into the kitchen, which Rosa believed to be through the living room on the left. But that was not the thing she was interested in. it felt right. The conversation felt right, comfortable and hopeful. Rosa could live with this feeling. The though was a kind one, but she tried to keep her hopes down; the complete opposite to what Remus was currently doing.

Walking up the narrow and creaking stairs, Rosa walked straight into the room she knew belonged to her in her childhood. The yellow of the walls was slightly worn and grayish. The room was coated with a small layer of dust, like Remus hadn’t been there in a long time. Rosa looked at the bed with pink sheets, realizing that today she was too tall for the bed. And she wasn’t tall.

Her stuffed animals were immaculately placed on top of the bed, as if they were waiting for her to return. The whole room was waiting to be vacated by her, if one ignored the dust. Rosa was hit with the realization that even though Remus had left her, he had always kept the room, ready to take her in again.

She had to exit the room. Walking along the same hallway and the bare walls, she opened the door to her father’s room. Her safe place. It looked exactly as the Room of Requirements had, only it was a lot smaller in reality than in her head. The table was cascaded in mountains of paperwork, whilst the rest of the room was nice and clean.

As a child Rosa had loved to go through the papers on his desk, so she felt drawn to the piece of furniture. Sitting down on the wooden chair, she looked at the papers, namely the folder that was grandly right on top of everything, bursting with papers. It didn’t take a long time for her to realize that reading through it was a bad idea.

 

_PTSD - Madame Pomfrey testifying + her photos?? - continuous abuse proven._

_Last trial - ‘werewolf should not parent’ ‘werewolf not suitable to work around others’  ...wolfsbane potion? Snape could testify? Slughorn?_

_How to get Rosa to testify?_ _Spend time with her._

_Freezing into a nightmare… can you demonstrate that in court?_

_Sirius’ testimony (maybe have Arthur come in instead of him… dementors everywhere): fear of being killed, flinching, pain. The pain that no one can imagine. Cruciatus curse?_

_ Prove that Madilyn killed the muggle.  _

 

On the very first page she got all the information she needed to go back to her isolated self. She could only feel betrayed in that piece of paper. And it was worse than when Granger had done the same. Much worse.

She quickly duplicated the folder, and charmed it pocket sized. She would read it through later. Now Remus was shouting to her from downstairs for lunch.

Just as she sat down onto the dinner table and Remus was about to start a conversation once more.

“I want to go back” she said before putting a forkful of the over salted pasta into her mouth. Remus’ brows furrowed.

“Back?”

“To the Headquarters” her face was on neutral, all previous joy drained away from it. Remus nodded in understanding, but was still clearly confused.

“Is there-- I wanted to give you something” he changed his mind in the middle of his sentence, just like Rosa often did. He stood up, rummaging through his kitchen drawers until he found what he was looking for.

“You know how Lupin in latin means ‘pertaining to the wolf’?” she nodded. “It’s very true what comes to me, of course” Remus explained, with disgust shadowing his tone. “Anyway, I wanted to give you an heirloom. I see you like the ring I gave you for christmas” he kept on speaking as he sat back down, his hand fisted.

His words spoke the truth; Rosa did wear the moonstone ring almost everywhere she went. It made her feel strong and beautiful. She would not wear it on her customary right hand’s middle finger only if her mother was present.  

He laid a chain onto the dinner table. It was yellow gold and delicate, a pendant in the shape of a teardrop hanging from it.

“Look through the glass” Remus advised her. Grabbing the necklace, Rosa looked through the transparent jewel. It suddenly shone orange and yellow whilst the silhouette of a wolf running came to view.

“A wolf howling at dawn. Sirius tol-- you are a Dawn and you are a Lupin. The pendant has magic that shows the holder who they are. You are part of this family, Rosa, no matter how many family trees want to state otherwise” The glow of the jewel fainted and soon it was as transparent as it was when Remus first handed it to her.

“It’s beautiful” Rosa just said, keeping her neutral face on, not letting her emotions take over. It was true; it was a wonderful gift, one that yesterday she would’ve cherished. Today it just felt like a bribe. She moved to put the necklace around her neck out of politeness before continuing with her food silently.

“What’s wrong?” Remus asked after a few minutes, getting frustrated with the sudden silence.

“Nothing. I just want to go back” The sting of betrayal was evident in her voice. Unlike when Hermione told the rest of the trio about her abuse, Rosa did not explode on Remus. She did not encase his head into a pumpkin. She stayed quiet as she ate, her mask firmly on refusing to relive any of the memories that popped into her head as she ate the familiar too salty bolognese. Only when Remus’ fork hit his empty plate did she speak again.

“Can we go now?” Rosa asked, monotone.

“I can tell when you’re lying to me, Rosa” he said, sighing.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to, Remus” the disappointment in his face was immediate from the way she addressed him. It felt like all the work they had done to get to that point where Rosa was comfortable addressing him as ‘father’ was now gone. And what had he done? Made her food? How can the girl find that offensive?

Whilst Remus’ thoughts were racing, Rosa was trying to keep her mask on. She didn’t let her eyes redden. She didn’t let herself explode on him. He wanted for Rosa to talk and to explode and to condemn her mother. She wouldn’t do that anymore. She bit her teeth together to keep the words in; this was so against her nature in this state of mind, it hurt.

Sighing once more, Remus offered his hand to his daughter; he would take care of the dishes when he came back to the house for the night. Rosa grabbed his wrist instead of his hand like when they had arrived. With one last sad breath, they apparated back.

Rosa ignored her travel sickness as her feet hit the ground in the Headquarters living room. She ran for it, straight into her room. Locking the door and throwing up a silencing charm, she screamed out her frustrations she so hard tried to keep inside of her the whole lunch. He grabbed the shrinked folder from her pocket and engorged it, starting to frantically read through every single paper.  

There was the quite thin file of the original custody battle that Madilyn obviously won. It had Remus’ plans for the upcoming trial, and who he wanted to testify. Rosa was clearly still on that list. Rosa kept on reading, ignoring how it made her feel hollow and drained of any love as she did so.

Her head whipped towards the door as she heard a knock. Rosa took down the silencing spell.

“What do you want?” she spat at the door.

“There’s a letter for you” the sound of Sirius’ voice came from the other side of the door. Rosa walked to the door, opened it just so that her open palm, facing the roof got through.

“Remus is freaking out” the man said, and placed the envelope onto her palm.

“As if I would give a fuck” with that Rosa shut the door with a bang to the man’s face and put all of her charms up once more.

Looking at the letter that arrived to her, she knew from the handwriting and the family seal imbedded into the wax that it was from her mother. With shaky hands, she opened the graceful letter and with wary eyes read through it.

 

 _I’m so proud of you, Rosa. The community is talking about you, and not it the bad way. I believe you will have batchelors knocking down your door after they come back to the Castle after Easter. And I assume that you don’t know; Theodore Nott has broken his reservation with the older Greengrass girl. I believe Zabini and Malfoy are also in discussions of breaking his reservation. The Crabbes are literally weeping! Find a catch, Rosa, they will be lining up._ _  
_

_You might ask why this is, since I’m assuming the rumours won’t reach you in the Castle. The Dark Lord was noted of a certain talent you have, I believe through the Parkinson girl,  and he thinks you would make a wonderful add in his ranks. Again, Rosa, I have to express that I have never been so proud of you. The community is absolutely waiting for you to return for Summer. You will be receiving the Mark most likely next Christmas when you’re closer to being of age._

_So until then, I’m expecting immaculate behaviour from you. This is our chance to be in the best rankings among the purebloods. Do not whore around. Give them a chase. Make me proud._

_-M.S.D_

_P.S. Do I have to tell you what will happen if you refuse the Mark? Not only will you die, he will hunt down that father of yours and kill him in front of you. And maybe find some of your friends, maybe that Mudblood too? Do not disappoint him._

 

“Fuck. Shit. Fuck” was all Rosa could think and say as she read the letter for the second time. She knew Voldemort would eventually want her, but this quickly? She took a couple minutes to internalize all of that information. It seemed that the choice had already been made for her.

+++

Rosa skipped dinner. And breakfast the next morning. And lunch. She had heard her door being knocked too many times to count within the 24 hours, and a countless amount of people trying to _Alohomora_ her door open, failing each time.

Remus had come to talk to her through the door at least five times (let’s be honest, the amount was way more than that) to plead her to open the door. He kept on apologizing if he did something wrong, and chanted ‘you’re safe’ over and over again. He was, just like Sirius had told her, freaking out.

That evening though, about ten minutes after Mrs. Weasley had told her it was dinnertime, she caved. It had been over 24 hours since her last meal, and her stomach was cursing at her for it.

Rosa silently opened her door, not caring that she was wearing the exact same thing as she was when they went to Remus’ house or about her greasy hair. She hadn’t slept; the dark circles under her eyes being extremely pronounced together with her puffy and red eyes after a whole day of crying. In short, she looked bloody awful. But she thought that she had come to a conclusion. She was ready.

She sneaked downstairs with no sound leaving her feet. Hearing the cheer coming from the kitchen and cutlery and _life_ coming from the room made her want to turn around. It would all silence when she would step in the room.

The door was wide open, though no one’s attention was on the hallway Rosa was currently vacating. She saw Remus sitting next to Potter, laughing happily. Snape and Moody were also around the dinner table, though no trace of happiness was on their faces. Everyone looked happy and whole; they didn’t need her to feel happy. No one in that room truly needed her. Not even Remus; he seemed quite content with loving people ‘the godfather  way’. Rosa now knew that Remus probably was the best liar in the universe.

She took couple more wary steps, now standing underneath the door frame. She couldn’t keep away the sadness and fear from her expression. Remus’ laugh stopped immediately, and he abruptly stood up.

“Rosa!” he exclaimed, she flinched. The room went quiet, and everyone’s eyes were now staring at her. Remus ran around the table to her, reaching his hand to touch her. She took a couple quick steps back, stopping his trial. “Are you--”

“No.” she said immediately, cutting him off.

“Sit. Please” he pleaded, and Rosa did, on the empty seat in the middle of the table, straight across from Remus. She was in between Ginerva and Arthur, making her feel even more uncomfortable.

“Please, do continue with your previous conversation” Rosa said with an eye roll when the silence did not dissipate.

Slowly but surely, the conversation around the table picked up awkwardly when Rosa started munching on the food. Remus didn’t move an inch, but kept on staring at her.

“How are you?” he eventually asked Rosa, since the awkward and lingering silence frustrated him. Rosa shot him a glare, biting the inside of her cheek, contemplating.

“Let me know something, Remus” others around the table, notably silenced completely realizing the switch in the way she now was addressing him. “Why am I here?” she asked finally. Remus’ brows came together in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“Why am I in the Order Headquarters?” she repeated the question, knowing what that the man had heard her the first time.

“Uh… I uh--” he started, stuttering.

“This is the last chance I’m going to give you to be honest with me” she said, no hint of humour in her tone. She waited for an answer, her intense eyes boring into his.  

“I wanted to spend time with you, I thought… isn’t that obvious?” She huffed.

“Why? Why did you want to spend time with me?” the question was accompanied with an eye roll. Remus spread his arms and contorted his face into a scowl. “Come on, _Dad_. Tell me”

“Is it so horrible of me to want to spend time with you after, what, three years?”

“Yeah? You sure about that?” she scowled through gritted teeth.

“Cut to the chase, kid” Sirius butted in, noting how uncomfortable Remus was getting.

“You know when I used to always hang in your room, Remus? At your place? I would go through all the papers on your desk, it used to drive your insane, I knew it did. I messed them up on purpose, I wanted to know how much it took for you to throw me out. You never did; you’d keep me around for the whole week…” she shot him a glare before continuing, “‘How to get Rosa to testify? Spend time with her’, the latter’s underlined too, must be important--”

“Rosa--” Remus was ready to explain, it was evident in his tone. He stopped himself though, when Rosa lifted her hand elegantly. Like a proper Lady would; she was determined to get through without an elevated volume, without crying. Oh, how her mother would be proud.

“I gave you a chance, you didn’t take it, thus it’s my turn to speak.” she took a small pause before continuing,  “‘Madame Pomfrey will testify and prove the continuous abuse’ apparently she took photos, thank you for telling me about those” Rosa’s voice was monotone, stern and sharp. She had read through the file many enough times to memorize some parts. “Sirius told you about the pain and the elves, your plan is to make Arthur spout that word for word in court,” she shot the ginger man sitting next to her a tough glare.

“And finally, another underlined, important one. ‘Prove that Madilyn killed the Muggle’” she practically growled the sentence out, her eyes like daggers boring into Remus’.

“So far, you’re just quoting. What’s your point, girl?” Moody butted in, not really interested in the Dawn-Lupin family drama that was unfolding in the presence of everyone.

“I’m still trying to find the answer to that simple question. Why am I here?”

“I’ve already told you--” Remus pleaded, Rosa shook her head.

“Why can’t you ever be honest with me? Has everyone in this house been reporting back to you? About every single word that leaves my mouth? Everything I’ve told you or Sirius, or whomever, I told in confidence. You know these things hurt me, and all this time you proclaim safety and love when all along all you’ve wanted was more information to get revenge on Mum. And I was naive enough to believe half of the things you told me, not thinking that you would be this sly… fool me twice, I guess”

“Ro--why would I want revenge on Madilyn? I just want you to--” Rosa took the shrinked filed out of her jean pocket, engorged it and roughly threw it onto the table right in front of him.

“I read it all. She outed you to the Ministry publically. No one would hire you, you couldn’t become an Auror, you couldn’t get any position that was under the Ministry’s command. You would have to go from place to place, from job to job so people wouldn’t realize what you are. She took revenge on you during the trial for not telling her about your purity, thus fucking up your life completely for the foreseeable future. And now you want to do the same for her”

“No--”

“What I don’t understand is why you had to drag me to all this. Just sue her for defamation. I understand that I was the ultimate reason why you and Mum broke up and why your life is miserable… but I can’t undo my birth. Why must you take revenge on me too?” Rosa was half thinking out loud by this point.

“Is there more?” the question that left Remus’ lips surprised Rosa. “If the file was the only thing bothering you, you would’ve come down yesterday to shout at me. I’m… I fear that it’s giving you a reason to make a decision you’ll regret” at that, Rosa scoffed.

“There’s no decision for me to make. I do not have a choice, not anymore”

“Why?”

“Because you were too late” Rosa’s mask was starting to waver when fear took over her body once more. She let go of her cutlery and fisted her palms.

“What do you mean?” Moody, in Rosa’s opinion, was the only one understanding her implication. He wanted to be sure, thus the question. Rosa looked down, firming up her mask.

“You never liked me much, did you, Alastor?” she suddenly asked, sweet smirk decorating her lips. Multiple brows furrowed around the table.

“Not particularly, no” he answered honestly. Rosa’s smirk grew into a smile.

“You want to know, don’t you?” the one eyed man nodded, everyone else was completely baffled by the conversation.  “The Slytherins played a game on me. I was a bit too good at it. Word got around. Would you like to play, Alastor?”

“I have no time for children’s games” he spat out, thinking that she was trying to mock him.

“It’s called ‘target practise’. The rules are simple enough”

“What’s the target?” Ronald asked from the other end of the table, not able to hold his mouth shut like all of his family was.

“I am” Rosa answered. Moody’s interest peaked.

“No.” Remus protested immediately.

“Like I said, the rules are quite simple. You try and hit me with the Cruciatus--”

“No!” Remus’ voice was now louder in volume, and more commanding. Rosa ignored him.

“--I scream if something hurts. I scream, you stop. Simple enough”

“Remus, let her. There must be a reason--” Sirius was too curious to deny the usage of the unforgivable curse.

“No. No one is attacking my daughter”

“Absolutely no one is going to hurt children in this house!” Mrs. Weasley's parental instincts had finally come back to her as she continued to scold practically everyone from Rosa to Sirius.

“Oh, come on. Aren’t you a wee bit curious? Like I said, I’m quite good at the game. Got me a reputation among the purebloods” she kept on taunting the ex-Auror. “Where’s your Gryffindor courage now, Mad-Eye? Too chicken to hit a girl? C’mon. If I’m hurt I’ll let you know and you stop and you win. No harm done”

“How I feel that the Slytherins didn’t follow that particular rule” one of the twins said under their breath.

“I wouldn’t know. They didn’t get a single sound out of me” Moody stood up and got his wand out.

“ _Expelliarmus_!” Rosa shouted at her father who had gotten his wand out. The wooden weapon flew to the other side of the room, behind Rosa. She was sitting comfortably, turning back to Moody.

“On the count of three?” She suggested as Sirius moved to hold Remus back; ultimately stopping the wizard from interfering. Arthur and Ginerva moved out of the way, walking to the rest of the family at the other end of the table.

Moody lifted his wand even though Rosa was expecting it, she flinched.

“She screams, you stop immediately, hear me, Moody?!” Remus shouted with fury at the man, knowing that he could not fight against the future, since he was barricaded by Potter and Sirius. The one eyed man responded only by clearing his throat.

“I don’t miss, girl. Brace yourself” Rosa scoffed, biting her teeth down hard as she knew some unpleasant memories were about to start lingering in her head. Her grin never left.

“One… two… three” Ronald was the one doing the countdown.

“ _Crucio_ ” the man said lazily, not putting half of the effort into the spell he actually wanted. To everyone’s surprise, Rosa did not even try to duck the spell; instead the red flash hit her directly to the chest. She didn’t even blink. It hurt less than Parkinson’s curse had, Rosa swiftly rolled her eyes that she noticed to be welling up with unshed tears.

“Is that really all you’ve got?” dropping the grin, she made sure to keep her voice unwavering and drowning in disappointment. Jaws opened and gasps went through the room as they realized that the curse had no effect on her. Moody scrunched up his nose.

“ _Crucio!_ ” it was mean and this time Rosa actually felt something resembling pain in her chest. It was more like an uncomfortable feeling of pins and needles. Comparing it to the pain when…

A tear escaped her eye, she didn’t bother to wipe it off. She pushed her memories away, at least she tried to. Small pictures still took over every couple of seconds.

“Come on, Mad-Eye. Were you replaced again, or did you just lose the ability to cast a proper curse?” that seemed to piss him off.

“ _CRUCIO!_ ” the man roared loudly, again the red flash hitting her chest. The uncomfortable feeling increased, but not by a lot. Curiously she felt the most pain in her ears, resembling a cramp.

Something within Rosa snapped, she quickly understood that the feeling was disappointment. There was no proper pain. Her body was too damaged to feel pain; one could see the moment when her mask left her. She stood up, still under the curse, leaning forward and keeping her hands on the table. She felt as multiple tears left her eyes; she didn’t feel them falling onto her cheeks.

“Is that really the best you can do? Really? _Because I can’t feel a goddamn thing_ ” she growled, exposing her teeth as she did so. Moody lowered his wand, mouth propped open. Rosa sat back down lazily.

“I win” she said in a faked sing-songy voice. “And you have your answer why I’m doomed”

“Could you explain what the _fuck_ you mean?!” Remus finally exploded, Rosa now noticing his red eyes. She had never heard her father curse before.

“You’re quite slow aren’t you, Remus?” she commented before giving him the answer he craved, “Voldemort wants to recruit me”

 

There was exactly five seconds of silence.

 

Then all bloody hell broke loose.

 

“Holy fuck--” “--absolutely not--” “Should she be here--” “--TRAITORS--” “--show your forearm!” “Do you realize the amount of danger--” “Motherfucker!”

“SILENCE!” it was Moody who eventually got the room to some sort of order. He sat right opposite to her, the chair that was previously vacated by Remus.

“Are you planning to join You-Know-Who’s army?” so he wanted to ask some tough questions.

“Right now, we should check if her body is alright after you tortured her! There’s no need for an interrogation!” it was Remus’ suggestion, looking at her like she would in an instant start writhing in pain.

“There’s no need for that. I’ve already come to a conclusion why I am the way I am… and to answer to your question, Moody, I already told you. I don’t have a choice in the matter. I am to take the Mark next Christmas”

“Absolutely not--”

“You understand that the reason my body doesn’t feel pain is because Mum--” she had to breathe, stopping herself from oversharing and shouting. She continued with her monotone voice, “The Cruciatus curse attacks one’s nerves on top of the victim’s skin. I’m assuming that the time I was hit with multiple of the curse it damaged them irrevocably, deteriorating most of them. You-Know-Who sees that and-- think of having someone doing your bidding that can only be struck down with a handful of spells. He’s… addressed his interest in me to be within his ranks. One does not turn down a request coming from the Dark Lord”

Remus understood what Rosa was implying. If he hadn’t left her with Madilyn, she could feel pain normally and she wouldn’t be forced into this situation. He had rescued her too late, just like she had previously said.

“What happens if you refuse?” the absolutely idiotic question came from Ronald. Rosa rolled her eyes.

“Well, first off I’m going to die, quite painfully, I might add”

“And you wouldn’t just die instead of killing for him?” Ronald spat at her, clearly disgusted by her already made decision. Rosa felt as her expression turned into sad rage. Couple angry tears left her eyes.

“There are things he’s also offering” Rosa stood up, ready to leave the room. “I’m going back to Hogwarts” she stated. Remus was ready to protest but Rosa got there first: “I told you think earlier, Remus. I’m as good as a Death Eater here. Since that’s about to come true, so I think it’s wise for me to make my leave. I will not spy for the Order. I can’t risk--”

“Who is he threatening?” Sirius butted in.

“I don’t know what you mean” she acted oblivious.

“I know how he gets people to his ranks. Who is he threatening, Rosa?” Sirius repeated the question.

“That is not the only reason why I’m joining his ranks, Sirius”

“Then it should be easier answer the question, kid. Who is he threatening?” Rosa looked to the floor, and walked towards the door. She took a deep breath.

“E--Everyone who has ever meant anything to me” with that she suddenly dashed straight into the living room, literally escaping the kitchen. There was a commotion as people tried to reach her. She ran to the fireplace, not caring for her trunk upstairs, and took a quick handful of Floo powder. The last thing she saw before being engulfed by the green flames was Remus’ face, edged with an expression that could be only described as disappointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Leave a comment/bookmark/kudos and/or just have a wonderous New Year!


	22. Keeping His Hands To Himself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!
> 
> I noticed shit has been pretty angsty so let's start the year off with some fluffy stuff, shall we?

When Rosa popped out of the fireplace into Umbridge's ridiculously pink office and was extremely thankful that the woman had gone somewhere for the vacation. Running out of the office, scared that the professor would turn up or that someone from the Order would follow her to the Castle. 

Making it successfully into the hallway without any disturbance, Rosa let go a breath she was holding. She could relax a little, though exhaustion was surely making its way into her. The idea of walking all the way up to the Gryffindor common room right now didn’t appeal to her. There would be a bunch of people in there anyway, even if she used the charm McGonagall taught her to skip the endless amount of stairs. 

After thinking for a moment, Rosa knew an alternative place to go to. Instead of going to the grand staircase she started walking down towards the dungeons. Remembering the room Draco had once shown her, the abandoned teacher’s quarters, it seemed like the best place for her to go. It would be quiet, cold and isolated. 

Her mind was cloudy and hazy, taken by memories with Remus. The happy ones. Sighing, she tried pushing away the flashbacks and betrayal. But she found that there was not that much to think about other than those things.

Finding the place ended up being extremely difficult. The last time she went there was after she had shouted at the Trio, thus she hadn’t really paid much attention to all of the turns. But it was somewhere deep in the dungeons, and it was a wooden door. 

There was no one to be seen (since Rosa’s face showed that she had been crying, she was quite glad of that fact), Rosa assumed that all of the Slytherins had gone home for the holidays. She couldn’t remember any Christmas were there were any Slytherins about the Castle, why would Easter be any different? 

It took enough wrong turns for Rosa to start feeling a little uncomfortable. She had been wandering around a bit too long looking for the correct door. She eventually had to take out her wand to light her way deeper into the dungeons when the lack of lighting started to bother her. 

Still after a good half an hour of searching she only hadn’t found the quarters, she also was undoubtedly lost. Thinking that finding the nice little room wasn’t worth it anymore, she turned around to somehow find her way out of the rocky maze.

Sighing, she walked along the corridors, looking at each turn as a challenge. Where had she come from? Left here, right there… Another anxious breath leaving her lungs. Another right here. Rocks, more rocks, a random door, more rocks…  _ Door! _

She dashed for it,  _ Alohomora _ ’d it open, and stepped into the room. 

_ Well… Fuck. _

Instantly when she closed the door behind her two people jumped apart, both in various stages of undress. Rosa could see only the platinum hair of the boy, the girl she didn’t recognize. 

“Rosa?” his eyebrows shot to his hairline.

“Seriously, Draco?! Do you have a fucking schedule or someth-- you know what, fuck you” the girl shrieked, obviously offended. The blonde girl picked up her shirt and robes from the floor (a Ravenclaw tie included) and a tiny scrap of fabric that looked suspiciously like knickers. With multiple curses sent Draco’s way the girl left the room, remembering to slam the door shut. 

Rosa was staring at (shirtless) Draco, who was buttoning up his trousers clearly not happy of the interruption. Without a word, Rosa turned around to reach for the doorknob. 

“Don’t even think about it, Dawn” came his voice, strong and demanding. 

_ Don’t call me that,  _ she wanted to say, but refused herself. She froze though, trying to decide whether she was still mad at him or not. It didn’t take long for her to decide that she definitely still was. She turned back around. 

Before she could even open her mouth Draco was shouting at her. “Where the hell have you been?!” Draco exclaimed taking a few steps towards her, not bothering to button up his shirt. Rosa could tell she was definitely blushing and her eyes went down to his chest a couple of times.

“Oi, eyes up here, Dawn” Draco said, still irritated, but decided to button up his shirt. “Tell me where the fuck you’ve been” 

“What?” Rosa was slightly confused now. “What are you doing in Hogwarts?” she asked him instead of answering. 

“You’re not the only one who has shit going on at home, Dawn. Now, tell me where you’ve been!” his volume was raising, demanding an answer.

“W-why?”

“Fucking hell, Rosa! It’s a bloody holiday, I don’t see you for a week, what am I supposed to fucking think!? I thought you went back to your bloody Mother!” Rosa’s face relaxed slightly as her brows shot up in shock.

“Everyday I have to think that you’re probably being beaten to fucking death, do you have any idea-- I fucking sent owls, I get no answer back--”

“I mean, you didn’t look very worried with the Ravenclaw girl--” Rosa had no idea what to say, so the slight insult and denial was the first thing that came to mind. Draco looked at her like she just insulted his mother.

“Are you fucking with me right now?! I’m stressed out of my fucking mind, I’m so bloody sorry that I’m looking for some fucking pleasure-- I-- seriously do you have any fucking clue how fucking worried I was?! I had to go up to the fucking Gryffindor tower! McGonagall had to drag me out, saying you’re not in-- Could you not just--  _ fuck _ !” he seemed to be finished with his rant. 

“I was with my father” she said with her guilty eyes going to the floor.

“And you just couldn’t let me know?!” that angered her in turn.

“I assumed we weren’t on speaking terms after you called me a whore” Rosa spat out and continued, “which would be a more accurate description of you, now that I think of it” 

“Excuse me--”   


“What's the Ravenclaw girl’s name, Draco?” Draco scowled, Rosa put on a triumphant smirk.

“That’s beside the point,” he said with a roll of his eyes, “I didn’t call you a whore. I just said that you’re closer to being one than a proper pureblood lady. And that is only because you  _ can’t physically be _ a pureblood. Besides,” he connected their eyes, “It doesn’t mean that you can just disappear on me. Have I not made it quite fucking clear that I care for you? How can you be so… uncaring to just vanish?!”  

“I… Well… I was avoiding you and… I didn’t know you would care” He started rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration. 

“Wouldn’t care-- If you ever, and I mean fucking ever Rosa Dawn, do this to me again I will fucking butcher you myself” 

Rosa swallowed audibly, “Why would you worry for me?” thinking out loud. Draco took a small moment to himself before answering the question. Rosa noted how his eyes wondered everywhere else but her eyes.

When he finally spoke, his hands were moving all over the place. “I was an idiot seven year-old. Warriors fucking honor, Rosa Dawn. I already said that I wouldn’t break that bloody promise to you again. I can’t do that if you disappear. I…” their eyes locked. His hand came to cup her cheek, his thumb gently moving on top of her skin. Rosa didn’t flinch, she felt a tumble in her stomach. And then she realized that she couldn’t feel his hand on her cheek and a different kind of tumble went through her. 

“I care about you. I need-- want you to be safe from that monster, she’s already done enough, alright? You can’t just fucking disappear” he somehow managed to anger and to make her feel a lot better at the same time.

Rosa was leaning to his touch, still not feeling his fingers on her skin. A stray tear left her eye. Draco wiped it off immediately.

“I can’t feel your hand” she finally told him, sniffling. “Remus wanted me to go to the Order Headquarters, but it… he wanted me there only to get me spill stuff that would get my Mum thrown into Azkaban or worse… I--I got a letter from her. Vol-- You-Know-Who want to recruit me and-- and if I say no he’ll kill everyone--” she sobbed, admitting to everything. 

“Breathe” he reminded her, his hand sliding down to her upper arms. “Can you feel that?” he asked. She shook her head. He squeezed. “That?” She nodded. “Pain?”   


“Mad-Eye had me under the Cruciatus and it felt like pins and needles-- don’t start shouting to me about the whole thing, please. I can’t feel much, no pain” 

“I read about the cruciatus and… its effects on people” Draco said, “I looked through some books… healing stuff and curses, nothing definitive” 

“Tell me” Rosa looked at him with pleading eyes. “Please, Draco”

“Nothing is certain. Your nerves are fucked up, and don’t act for a second the books would not tell me that one Cruciatus wouldn’t be enough to do that. Without further disturbance the pain-- or feeling could come back. But it could also get worse” 

“Without further disturbance...”   


“Which is why I need you to promise me not to take the Mark”

“I can’t. He’ll kill--”   


“Rosa, I’m getting the Mark already. That’s enough for the both of us. I’ll keep you safe, defend you with my life in battle all that bullshit” 

“No. The promise goes both ways--”   


“Rosa--”   


“No! You will not sacrifice yourself for me, not when you don’t have any reason other than the promise to do so! I-- I won’t have that! Absolutely not--”   


“Then why should you sacrifice yourself for me?” 

“Because I actually care for you  _ despite  _ the fucking promise!” 

Draco closed her eyes in annoyance. He took his hands and cupped both of her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. He bent over slightly so that their eyes were on level. Rosa didn’t want to lock eyes with him, not when her heart was pounding in her chest. 

“Look at me, Rosa” she caved. “Fuck the promise. It doesn’t matter. I care about you. More than I should, I can admit that. Don’t you fucking dare to think that I would lay my life for you just because of a promise that isn’t Unbreakable” 

“Are-- are you sure that you… you aren’t saying all this because you pity--”

“No. I don’t feel sorry for you. You can wallow in self pity, I don’t care. I feel sorry for your mother because if I ever see her, she’s fucking dead”   


“Draco--”   


“I’m serious. I think it is a pity that it happened. But I do not pity you” he dropped his hands and straightened himself. 

“Thank you” Rosa simply said, after which she let out a yawn. 

“Tired? Is that why you’re here?” she nodded her answer. “You want to sleep?” another nod, though this time she grimaced slightly when she took a look at the inviting bed.

“How many people have you shagged on that bed since the last time the sheets were washed?” 

“Ugh, I  _ Scourgify _ them after each one” his face was a mirrored version of hers. Taking out her wand, she gave them a good run-in with all of the cleaning charms she knew. “They’re clean” Draco whined, sitting down on it.

“I’m  _ so  _ sorry that I don’t want to sleep in my best friend’s semen” Rosa said, smirking. Draco threw himself onto the bed covering his face with his hands in laughter and shame. 

“You’re disgusting” he said between his chuckles.

“Says the manslut” Rosa was now peeling back the duvet, ready to burrito herself into the warmth.

“So I’m your best friend now?” Draco asked, still laying horizontally on the foot of the bed, quirking his eyebrow at the girl. She in turn, sent one of the three pillows catapulting towards hit face. Her aim was perfect, the pillow making contact with his smug face just a second later it left her hand. 

“The only friend. That makes you also the best. Congratulations, you must be honored” 

Draco then stood up, his smirk still on, and made his way to the other side of the bed, tucking his legs in as he laid down.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” Rosa asked, folding her arms on top of her chest. 

“It’s my place. If you want to sleep here, you share the bed” Draco noticed her uncomfortableness. “Don’t worry, I promise to keep my hands to myself”   


_ That’s not what I’m worried about. _

“I… I should cast a silencing charm. On my side of the bed” she said awkwardly, getting her wand out once more.

“Why? You planning on-- you know what, I’m not going to say that joke”   
“You’re disgusting” he laughed, his genuine laugh that made him look so handsome. 

_ No. Get those thoughts out of your head, Rosa. _

“Why?” Draco repeated the question when his laughter passed by.

“I just… don’t want to wake you up when I wake up” 

“Put your wand away and get in here. I still haven’t given you my thank you speech for receiving the best friend award. Can’t hear your reaction if you put a charm up” Rolling her eyes, Rosa did just that. She could put the charm up after Draco fell asleep anyway. 

Rosa Dawn was laying in bed next to Draco bloody Malfoy. She dragged the duvet up to her neck, but stayed on her side, staring at the boy who was doing the same.

“Hands off, remember?” Rosa reminded him, blushing slightly. He scoffed. “Where’s the speech?” Rosa challenged. It was a little over an hour of them casually talking, never mentioning the war, Voldemort or Remus, just joking and hanging about like old times. They fell asleep fingertips a millimeter apart. 

 

_ This couldn’t be a memory, she figured that out straight away. She figured out it was a dream. It had to be a dream.  _

_ She was in Remus’ house, in her own room. But she was short, fitting into the bed. The yellow walls were vibrant, there was no layer of dust on her stuffed toys that she was clutching hard to her chest. Rosa was afraid, though she didn’t know what she was afraid of.  _

_ It was a clear day, the sun shining into the room through her window. But still, she was scared, her eyes glued to the door.  _

_ It opened with a long creak. In stepped Remus, but at the same time it wasn’t the Remus Rosa was familiar with. He was scowling, looking at her with the same expression Madilyn gave her before a beating. His clothing was high-end, something Lucius Malfoy would wear. It didn’t suit him. Rosa immediately noticed that he had his wand out, and Rosa in her tiny body didn’t have one.  _

_ “She’s here to collect you” Remus said. “It’s your time to leave, Rosa. I want you to leave” _ _   
_ _ “I don’t want to go back” she cried at the man. His wand came to point at her.  _

_ “Your mother knows better. Raises you better. Makes you better. And I do not want you here. You’re here because I’m obligated to have you here once a year. Leave now.” _ _   
_ _ This was a dream. It’s not real. It’s not real.  _

_ “I never wanted you” Is this a memory? It feels too real. “Get up and leave. Now, Rosa”  _

_ “I don’t want to go back!” Rosa shouted at her father. It couldn’t be real, could it? This couldn’t be a memory.  _

_ “I will take you by force then. Cru--” _ __   
  


She was woken up by vigorous shaking before the worst could happen. She wasn’t screaming. She couldn’t tell if there were tears on her cheeks, but felt someone stroking her hair. What she could see was Draco’s worried face above her, lighted by a Lumos charm.

“Did-- Did I scream?” she asked, voice soft and fearful. He shook his head.

“Tumbling and speaking, I figured--”

“Am I crying?” Draco answered by wiping some wetness away from her face with his free hand.

“Not anymore”

“Tha-- thank you” she exhaled in relief. 

“Just let it out, alright? Breathe” Rosa took a few steadying breaths together with him, collecting her thoughts. “Want to talk about it?” he offered.

“Just a nightmare… I think”   


“You think?” Rosa looked at him with worrisome eyes.

“I… I normally dream of memories. This one… I’m not sure. It couldn’t be real, Remus would never point his wand at me… I… I don’t… he wouldn’t, would he?”

“I don’t know the man, Rosa Dawn. But… I doubt it was real, since you can’t remember it ever happening. Just your brain terrorizing you with fear” his touch on his head coupled together with his word brought her some amount of comfort. 

“I really like you better when it’s just the two of us” she admitted in her sleepy haziness, her hand looking to hold his. 

“Me too” he said, voice barely audible. He squeezed her hand. “Feel that?” he asked.

“Above my forehead and fingertips are where I have the most feeling” she explained, answering his question. His other hand that was stroking her hair froze. “Yes, I can feel that” she said with a tiny chuckle, her eyes wanting to close once more. 

Draco shifted to lay down a bit closer to her, their hands still holding each other. 

“Why can’t you always be like this? You’re so nice and then outside you…--”

“Say the worst things and let people attack you?” he finished the sentence for her. A sigh left his throat. “If I don’t, they’ll figure everything out and give me a worse punishment”   


“Which would be?”   


“They would kill you too” Rosa’s hand squeezed his a little tighter. “I… My family isn’t at the best standing with the Dark Lord anyway. If I were to be known to have a relatio-- friendship with you… Especially before you promise your allegiance to him… You would be added to my punishment list and I don’t want that”   


“I still don’t understand why you want to be my friend. After all these years, after… hurting me so many times and hating me--”   


“I never hated you. Never”   


“Then why?” 

“I loved you when we were kids… Playing with you, I could just laugh without any pressure. I guess I miss that”

“At some point you have to choose between your personalities, you know that right? I get confused when… when you change”   


“When we’re like this--”   


“I know. But at some point, if you want my friendship for the long run you have to choose how you act when me  _ and _ the Slytherins are around” he sighed, knowing that what she said was the truth.

“I don’t know Rosa, I’m not a Gryffindor”

A silence fell. One could feel Draco’s silent shame over his actions. He wouldn’t say it outloud, but he would call her a best friend without a blink of an eye.  

“That doesn’t mean you’re a coward” Her eyes closed, indicating that she was done with the conversation. He kept holding her hand. He never wanted to let go of her. Reality of his feelings hit him at once. 

_ Shit. _

“You’re too good to ever be with me” he whispered before sleep took over. Rosa didn’t hear him. 

When she woke up, his arms were holding her close. They were basically doing the exact definition of cuddling. His promise of ‘keeping his hands to himself’ was clearly forgotten by his subconscious. Before she let her blush take over and her heart beat rise she detangled their limbs and ran for it. 

“If there’s Rosa Dawn knows how to do, it’s escaping places where she wants to stay” she whispered to herself, hoping that she wouldn’t get lost in the maze that was the dungeons, counting and memorizing every turn she took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Leave a comment/bookmark/kudos or just have a super day!!


	23. Burning The Future Promised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm literally just spitting out chapters at this point!! The next one will come quickly too~~ Hope you like it.

It didn’t surprise Rosa that her Head of House came looking for her during breakfast. Her face was being stuffed with oatmeal when McGonagall asked for her company later that day in the Headmaster’s office. Rosa complied immediately, readying herself to meet the man straight away.

To no one’s surprise it was not a pleasant meeting. She was scolded for leaving the Headquarters so hastily and given her trunk. Remus had asked for permission to come to the Castle. Rosa denied the request, only to be reminded that it wasn’t her decision. She would be obligated to see Remus on the last Hogsmeade visit day of the year. 

Seeing Granger in her dorm though, was a shock. 

“Remus asked me to come here instead of the Headquarters” she had explained. 

“Since you’re relaying everything I say to him, you can tell him to fuck off” Rosa immediately drew the curtains around her four poster, isolating herself from the girl. Maybe it was a better idea to spend all her nights in Draco’s quarters. 

Draco.

Rosa couldn’t deny the small tingle in her stomach whenever she thought of the boy. But it wasn’t a crush. Definitely not. She just appreciated his looks, that’s all. They were friends. Plus, Rosa had to find a boy that would reserve her. Draco was already taken, off the playboard. Even if it were possible, it wouldn’t work. They were strictly friends. They both loved each other platonically, or at least did at one point did. Platonically only. Strictly friends.

_ Yeah, because friends cuddle.  _ Rosa tried blocking away the little devil whispering in her brain.

It goes without saying that Rosa didn’t sleep very well that night. When she did, instead of nightmares she found herself looking at herself in questionable positions with the blonde boy. She needed a cold shower in the morning.

Since Granger had decided to show up in the Castle, Rosa avoided the library and the common room like the plague. Sadly that also meant that she didn’t really have anything to do. Thus, going to the Room of Requirement seemed like the best idea, especially after couple hours of revising for the OWL’s on her barricaded bed. The Room should be able to give her something entertaining to do, in theory at least. 

So, Rosa was pacing in front of a wall. Thrice in her mind she asked for a place where she would not be bored. And hot chocolate. A large wooden door appeared, excited, Rosa stepped into the room. 

Before Rosa even had the chance to look around the room, she heard a girl shriek “ _ Locomotor Mortis! _ ” and she was unable to move her feet. Looking at the caster, of course it had to be the bushy haired Gryffindor she was trying to ignore. Then she looked around.

It was… the treehouse. Draco’s treehouse, full on furnished, perfect replica of their Warrior’s secret meeting place. And Granger was there. Out of the whole situation, the fact that the girl was at her and Draco’s secret place angered her the most. The place was for Rosa and Draco, _alone_. 

“Did the room change when I stepped in?” Rosa asked the girl who hadn’t put her wand away.

“No. I’ve been waiting for you... I asked for a place you would feel comfortable in, expecting Lupin’s room again--”   


“Have you looked around?” her tone was commanding and angry, and with great difficulty she kept herself under control.

“A little” Rosa through Granger her meanest glare.   


“Ask for the Room to change” 

“Wha--”   


“Now. You’re not allowed here” she was practically growling at the girl. 

Granger looked slightly puzzled but nodded. The room swelled, the wooden cabin changing into a big silvery hall that was mostly empty. There was a fireplace and a noticeboard. Two chairs and a coffee table appeared, and of course there was hot chocolate ready on top of it. One thing was for sure though, this was not Rosa’s safeplace. 

Granger walked to sit down by the table, waited, and silently let Rosa’s legs free. Rosa turned to leave, only to realize that the Gryffindor had wished for the door to disappear too. There was no escape. 

“We need to talk” Granger stated, it wasn’t a suggestion. Groaning, she stomped to the table scowling at the girl. 

Granger broke the silence, “I’m sorry. I talked you into going there for the Holiday--”   


“It’s a good thing I went. Now I know the truth” 

“Your truth is not the whole truth” 

“If you think I will let you talk me into something again, you’re mistaken. No one in the Order trusts me, including you, so why should in turn let myself be persuaded by your word?” Rosa didn’t even blink whilst she spouted at the girl, driving her point home. 

“This room. It’s the Headquarters of Dumbledore’s Army. Pretty much the whole year we’ve been sneaking in, and Harry’s been teaching us offensive and defensive spells. We didn’t tell you, that’s because the boys don’t trust you. I, on the other hand do, which is why I’m telling you” Rosa’s jaw was hanging open. “I think you would be a great addition. I’m trying to recruit you in a sense, I just know you know how some spells work better than us others. You could teach too. And when we do go to battle… You’re not obligated to fight with us. I think that’s fair, considering your situation. The best idea for you is to stay in the middle, at least outwardly”   


“You are an idiot” was the only thing that left her mouth after going through the proposition in her head. “Educational Decree 68: all student organizations are henceforth disbanded any student in noncompliance will be expelled. Educational Decree 41:  all talk of the upsetting events of last year are henceforth banned any student in noncompliance will be expelled. Educational Decree 109: All students casting prohibited spells shall be punished accordingly any student in noncompliance will be expelled. Educational Decree-- Do you have any idea how many rules you’re breaking?!”  

“We do, but we have to learn these things somewhere”

“I can’t be a part of this! Did they not tell you Voldemort wants me?! If I’m linked to you, helping you, I’m dead!” 

“You could say that you’re a spy, getting information from us, relaying it back to him when the time is right, tell him the spells we know--”   


“No.”   


“I told you, you don’t need to fight with us” Granger’s eyes were pleading. It was obvious that she wanted Rosa to be sympathetic to their side. But the offer was intriguing.

“If you’re asking me to teach you how to withstand the Cruciatus--”   


“I know, that’s not something one can learn. I’m… I’m asking you to… No one knows how to cast it”

“You’re asking me to be a human shield” Rosa said, thinking out loud, voice hurt. “You want me to do the exact same thing Voldemort wants me to do. Is that not it?”

“No. That’s the opposite. I want you to teach the spell to others. That’s it. If you know any other curses then that. I’m not asking you to be a shield”   


“But you want to let people hit me with an Unforgivable”   


“Only if you consent to it. They should be equipped with spells, you know that the Death Eaters would use those spells without a blink of an eye”   


“Then what makes you any better than them?” Granger’s eyes went to the floor.

“The boys didn’t like this plan, I don’t like it either. Maybe it’s my thoughts but… I’m scared. More than Harry and Ron are, that’s for sure. I want to be ready, when the Cruciatus hits me. I need to know what it feels like to be tortured before it happens for real. And I need to know how to cast it. Just incase. What sets us apart from Voldemort… after hitting someone with the Cruciatus we don’t hit them with the death curse”   


“My mother didn’t do that either” Rosa commented. “I’ll teach you. Just once. I will not spy for anyone”

“What made you change your mind?” Granger’s mouth was hanging slightly open, she wasn’t expecting for the conversation be over that easily.

“Everyone knows that I’m not a true Gryffindor. The Hat was debating between Slytherin and Ravenclaw. I asked for Gryffindor. I’m not brave, we all know that. But what I am, is fair. That’s the closest Gryffindor trait I have. I judge everything with my own truth, and I act accordingly without thinking, like a Gryffindor. And if there are kids fighting this war, I don’t see how it would be a fair fight. So, I’ll teach you. Reluctantly and I will be a bitch about it the whole time”

“Okay”

“And no one finds out. If I’m linked to you, I am dead. That’s not an exaggeration either. I’m not too skilled at Occlumency yet. I’m not planning on dying for you. There are only two people in this world I would do that for and none of the people in this ‘army’ made the list”   


“That’s a deal then”

+++ 

When the Easter holiday ended, Rosa ended the week successfully avoiding both Draco and Granger by spending most of her time in the Room of Requirement. The Room often took the shape of the treehouse, but Remus’ bedroom and Draco’s quarters did a comeback from time to time. 

Students now filled the Castle once more and Rosa had to start drinking anti-anxiety Draughts once more. Remus had previously been right; she still did not do well in a crowd. Something that she was not expecting though, was the attention Theodore Nott was suddenly giving her. 

He would greet her whenever they walked past each other in the Hallways, in the library he had offered to reach for the books she wasn’t able to reach (as if magic wasn’t something she was capable of). He had even asked her about her Hogsmeade plans. She told an altered truth, saying that she was meeting up with a family member. 

Remembering that Nott knew about her abuse made the whole thing even more confusing. He knew her history and was very aware of it; he wouldn’t touch her without her permission (which was never) and he would approach her slowly and talked with a softened tone of voice. He was an all around gentleman out of the blue. And he was definitely trying to court her. Nott was so obvious and open about it, ignoring the scowls he got from the other Slytherins, though Zabini had also chatted her up. Rosa could almost forget how he had been there when they had used the Cruciatus on her. No, Nott  _ had _ cast the curse on her. 

A chill went through Rosa’s body as she walked through the dungeons. Opening the door to Draco’s quarters she prayed that she wasn’t about to walk in on him shagging someone again. Her prayers were answered when she found Draco lounging on the bed, a potions book in his hands. 

“Hey” Rosa greeted with a shy smile. He returned both of those things. “I need to ask you something” He closed his book and sat back on the bed giving her some space to sit down.

“What is it?” he reassured her.

Rosa took a moment. He was the only one she could ask the question from. And he wouldn’t be mad, right? They were only friends, after all.

“Is.. Is Nott respectable?” she blurted out. His eyebrows shot to his hairline.   


“Excuse me?”   


“Nott is trying to… court me. You know him. I wanted to ask if he’s respectable… his name obviously is, but… as a person” A flash of anger went through Draco’s face before he settled on an answer.

“No. He’s not” he spat out. Rosa nodded. “Are you really trying to find another reservation?”

“My mother said it would be beneficial and since my rank is sure to rise after I get the M--”   


“No”   


“Anyway… there are some people trying to get my attention now. Nott has made it the most clear, so… I want my best man’s opinion” a tiny smile appeared on his face before it darkened again.

“No one in this school is respectable enough for you. Wait until the end of the war at least.  _ Since you are not getting the Mark,  _ choose someone from the winning side” he said with sad hopefulness. 

“That’s not your decision to make… I mean.. What if…” Rosa locked eyes with Draco and her lack of filter took over. “What if I fall for a Death Eater?” Draco broke the eye contact immediately. 

“Then you run. Run as far as you can from that person”   


“What if I don’t want to?”   


“If the man is respectable enough for you, he will tell you to run away” with that he opened his potions book once more and continued his revision.    
  


+++

 

Walking into the DA meeting three minutes late was horrible. Everyone was there already, staring at her, waiting for her. Rosa was now thanking for the calming draughts Madame Pomfrey had her on.

“This is Rosa Dawn if you don’t know her. You all can just call her Dawn” Granger introduced her, whilst everyone in the room looked at her like she was ready to curse them all. Rosa took a lingering breath.

“Hello. I’m here just today. I’d appreciate if you didn’t bring that up outside of this room. I’m going to teach you how to cast the Cruciatus curse” she explained. Some people gasped, Potter was clearly very uncomfortable with the situation, his jaw clenching.

“I think everyone has heard of the spell or seen it in action. It’s also known as the… torture curse. It attacks the nerves on top of your skin, resulting in mostly unbearable pain. People say it feels like… knives stabbing your skin. Though the curse itself does not cut the skin at all, it only results in pain… Now… is there anyone who already knows how to cast the curse?” Potter’s hand went up, whilst everyone else kept theirs down. Rosa nodded. “And is there anyone who had previously been under the curse?” Potter raised his hand again. “Potter. Care for a… demonstration?” he nodded, still uncomfortable. 

“The biggest hurdle in casting a proper Cruciatus is the meaning the caster puts to it, just like the Death curse. There’s no need to think about wand movement if you intentions are clear. If you do not want to inflict harm to the person you’re attacking, they won’t feel a thing. You need to mean it. Potter. Channel whatever makes you mad, angry beyond measure.  Think about that when you cast” 

Potter’s wand raised. Rosa closed her eyes, readying herself to destroy her nerves once more. Draco’s words went off in her head. “Without further disturbance…” getting feeling back in her body wasn’t as important as this. Rosa may have not known who she wanted to win the war, but she sure as hell knew that these people needed this curse in their artillery.

“ _ Crucio _ !” Potter’s voice echoed in the hall as the red flash hit Rosa’s chest. It was not bad. She flexed her jaw, as the feeling of a cramp took over her left hand. The most ‘painful’ thing of it was the memories wanting to take over. Potter let go of the curse, a question lingering on his expression.

“Could be better” Rosa answered, getting her thoughts together whilst the other members who didn’t know of her ‘talent’ stood there, jaws open. “A person who has been inflicted with the Cruciatus enough times… their nerves on the skin die resulting in lack of feeling including pain. It’s like a tolerance one gets after being hit with the spell one too many times. The Cruciatus won’t affect me the way it’ll affect you” she explained to the ‘class’. 

“How will it affect us?” a young boy, Colin Creevey who definitely had never seen the curse properly at work asked. Rosa turned to Potter who nodded. Taking out her wand she pointed it at the scar headed boy.

In her mind she thought of her mother, and all the times she had hurt her. All the times she hit her with the curse. All the times Rosa had hoped she could return the favor. 

“ _ Crucio _ ” she incantated, quite softly, not wanting to hurt Potter too too much. As the red flash hit him, he was instantly on the floor, screaming in pain. After a few seconds, Rosa let the curse go. The young boy, Creevey, looked absolutely horrified that his hero had fallen so easily.

“How do we build up a tolerance?” Dean Thomas asked, scared out of his mind after seeing the curse work. Rosa looked to the floor.

“There’s not a way one can teach a tolerance for the curse” Rosa said.

“You have a tolerance, you should tell us how you did it!” Thomas pressed the matter.

“Dean, don’t” Granger came to her defense. Rosa cleared her throat.

“Thomas. I built up a tolerance by being tortured days on end. A single Cruciatus can not inflict for your nerves to deteriorate. I was hit with multiples of the curse at once. That pain I will not inflict on anyone else. For a moment in time all I knew was that pain. Doubled. Tripled even. For days or weeks, I wouldn’t know it felt like a year, until I was thrown into St. Mungos. And now… If someone touches me, I might not feel that touch. Soon enough I might not be able to feel anything, not able to feel the ground beneath my feet or the quill curled around my fingers. That life I will not teach to anyone. Potter will teach you a good  _ Protego  _ to keep yourselves safe from the curse. Now, who would like to try casting it?” she finished her little speech, clear on her point. She saw the unmistakable stare of pity on her, trying her best to ignore it. 

For the next hour or so Rosa was hit with the curse too many times to count. No one could get pain out of her, though Potter was the closest only getting the feeling of a cramp out of her. Most of the curses felt like tiny paper cuts on her skin or pins and needles. Though she wasn’t in pain, after the lesson she felt drained and uncomfortably sore in her left hand. When her eyes welled up with unshed tears as the memories took over she asked for a break. She didn’t want to know how her nerves were affected by the continuous torture. 

She had cast the spell on people who wanted to know what it felt like. Colin Creevey was the only one of the volunteers who she refused to do it on. Granger, all of the Weasley’s and Longbottom were the only ones who wanted to feel the stab of the curse. They screamed in agony before Rosa let them go, and all of them had the audacity to thank her for doing that to her. When she left the Room, their screams repeated in her head. Those screams were worse than the memories because they were the result of her own words.

During the whole ordeal no one had judged her past or her present. Everyone was unbearably kind no matter what little comment she threw at them. She noticed one of the Weasley twin’s face flare up in anger, but Granger had whispered something to them to calm him down once more. Something about that was disappointing. I mean, if she was throwing Cruciatuses all over, why wasn’t it matched with one? Her mother would definitely throw one back at her, even if she had asked Rosa to do so. Revenge was only fair. But it never came. 

That night she walked to the Common Room together with the other Gryffindors. They even made small talk with her. Rosa knew that this was what Granger had wanted, become friends, or something close to that. Rosa could only feel a little disappointed by herself to be persuaded that easily. Sure, the one thing she ever craved was friendship and love… but she had to keep in her mind that these people were dirty liars. Only there for her to get her to their ranks. But… with that logic wasn’t Voldemort and her Mother the same?

 

It took a couple of days when Granger had told Rosa that the DA was found out. Umbridge had used Veritaserum on someone. Rosa felt her heart rate quicken as Granger explained how it was possible that Rosa’s name might have been leaked to the teacher. 

And then Dumbledore was gone. 

Rosa was not invited to the DA detention. She was asked to go into Umbridge’s office instead. Whilst the DA members scarred their hands with the vicious quills, Rosa walked up to her office, hands shaking. She had not been punished with the quill since Christmas. The words ‘I will learn my place’ were still engraved on her hand, white but clear as day. 

Knocking on the door a sweet ‘come in’ came from the pink office. Rosa stepped in, sitting onto the chair in front of Umbridge’s mahogany desk.

“Tea?” she offered.

“No, thank you. I already had some” it was a blatant lie, but Rosa thought it beneficial to keep declining any food the woman put under her nose. 

“I wanted to discuss this… Dumbledore’s Army business with you. Miss Cho Chang when listing names in association with the organization mentioned your name,” the witch’s eyes lifted, assessing Rosa’s reaction who was giving Umbridge her best confused expression. In reality she was trying to come up with an excuse, and trying to ignore her heartbeat she could hear in her ears. 

“Though your name was not on the list of names they kept on their noticeboard. Why do you think that is?” Rosa let out a amused giggle her mother would be proud of. Umbridge had given her enough time to come up with a plan that just might work. She had to get on a smirk that Draco often kept up and tried copying his tone whenever they were at pureblood events. 

“Honestly, professor, I’ve been trying to figure them out for weeks. I believe you are aware of where my loyalties lie. I thought being a Gryffindor I could get some information from the  _ Golden Trio _ ” she spat the pet name out like poison on her tongue, “which is why my name might’ve come up, they were starting to considering letting me in. It only took so bloody long, excuse my language, because you know what they think of us purebloods and half-bloods who are not blood-traitors… they despise us, have no respect for our superiority” Rosa kept on speaking, spouting lies she was afraid that she would believe herself. At some point she had. Maybe a small part of her still did. Umbridge looked very pleased at the end of Rosa’s little rant. 

“Well, I’m glad that you have learnt your place, that is for sure” 

“Thank you. That compliment means more than you know, Professor” when the words left Rosa’s lips without even thinking, she was slightly horrified to actually be grateful for getting the compliment. 

“You may leave now, Miss Dawn. I shall send a letter to your Mother, letting her know of your progress” Rosa bowed her head as a goodbye and exited the room. 

She ran to the nearest toilet and emptied her bowels to the nearest sink. Her head was spinning with decisions. She was supposed to be this, a lady, a Death Eater. One session with the Gryffindors should not change that. But their screams kept on ringing in her head. Their pain of her own wand gave them haunted her. This, her being a bigot, would be her future. It would be her children’s future. It would be her children’s children’s future. And in that future she would have a loving husband too much money one person would ever need and Draco's kids would be her children's friends. It was the fantasy that so many already had gotten, one that ever since Rosa was born, she was supposed to get. That was promised to her if she got the right husband.

On the other side, if Voldemort lost the war she would go to Azkaban. That was the future she was supposed to follow. The DA didn’t have the right to change all that in one two hour session! 

“ROSA!” the shout came from behind her whilst she still leaned on the sink. Rosa turned slightly, seeing Granger, hand still bleeding from the detention. She looked absolutely horrified, panting.

“We need you. Harry’s had a vision. Sirius is in trouble, someone has tried to kill him, he’s in the Ministry” Granger spoke extremely fast between her pants.

_ Sirius. My godfather. Fuck. _

“What has happened?” Rosa blurred out. Granger’s eyes widened and she took a second too long to answer the question.

“A-- a snake. The same one that attacked Mr. Weasley. We need to go!”

“Should-- Why do you want me there?” 

“You can help us. I know you can. And… Sirius might die.” Granger’s eyes moved around the move before she continued, “The Order is there. Remus is in danger” 

The future Rosa knew to be hers disappeared from her mid, “Let’s go.  _ Now _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading lovelies! I'm flying back to UK where I go to uni tomorrow so I'll be able to finish the next chapter quite soon, I personally want to get it out because of that little cliffhanger heheh.
> 
> Leave a kudos/comment/bookmark or just have a wonderful day~~


	24. Future Forged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!!   
> So, just keep you guys updated on my update situation, my uni starts tomorrow again, so I won't able to update as frequently. BUT I do prmise at least one chapter a week (hopefully two).   
> Thanks to everyone who has been continuously supporting this fic, you are lovely people!!
> 
> Oh, and to everyone's knowledge it's been a LONG WHILE since I've actually read the Order of the Phoenix book so most of this is definitely based on the movie (I know, blasphemy). So the scenes in this lovely chapter are based on that and again, those are not mine and I don't own them :) (pls don't sue me)

Potter, Granger, Longbottom, Lovegood and the two youngest Weasleys. That was their ‘army’. It was pathetic. And all they were doing was sitting around coming up with a plan, nothing had come of it the past 10 minutes. 

“We need to go. Like now” Rosa said, her left hand twitching. Potter was the only one that agreed leaving right then and there. 

“We don’t know how to get there” Granger said, other than that they didn’t have much of a plan. 

“Umbridge has an open floo, I bet that it connects to the Ministry. I’ll talk to her and then sneak in behind you” Rosa threw up an obvious idea. 

“I don’t think that will be happening, Rosa Dawn” Draco’s voice came from couple feet away, him at the center of the barricade that was the Inquisitorial Squad. Notably, they were all Slytherins but none of them were people whose names Rosa would know on top of her head. She gave a puzzling look to the platinum blonde. He shook his head, pointing his wand at Potter.

“You’ll come with us now” he said, walking straight to Rosa, taking hold of her wrists gently. Looking at the others Rosa nodded in reassurance; there was no need to start a fight. The Squad started walking them straight to Umbridge’s office. 

Draco kept hold of Rosa’s wrist behind her back, but he kept drawing calming circles onto them with his thumb.

“What the hell were you thinking?” he whispered to her ear when one of the Slytherins were throwing insults at the group. They were walking towards a crossroad. Rosa knew they would take a right turn to make it to the High Inquisitor's office. Draco’s hold on Rosa’s wrist lightened to a barely a touch. He leaned to whisper into her ear once more. “When we get to the crossing you run” he commanded. 

They walked to the crossing. Rosa didn’t run. She actually took initiative to turn right to her doom. She heard Draco huffing in anger behind her, but she had already made her decision. The whole group walked up the stairs to the office. Umbridge was there waiting. 

“Miss Dawn, surprise to see you here” she said without a giggle in her voice. “Mr. Potter would you take a seat” he did, everyone else kept standing. 

“I’d like to know what Dumbledore is hiding, how he’s trying to win. Where is he?” 

“I don’t know” Potter said, “Even if I did I wouldn’t tell you” he added. Rosa rolled her eyes, that was the worst thing to say. 

“What is he hiding?” Umbridge asked once more. Before Potter had the chance to answer Snape walked into the room with his regular dramatic fashion. “Severus, I need some more Veritaserum”

“I do not have any left, Professor” dislike towards the woman was evident in his tone. 

“HE HAS PADFOOT! At the place where it’s hidden” Potter shouted out at the greasy haired man. Umbridge’s eyes could burn fire. 

“What does he mean, Severus?” she demanded for an answer. Snape shrugged. 

“I have no idea” he exited. Umbridge now turned to Potter, wand extended.

“Maybe the Cruciatus curse will then give you the idea of the truth you’re withholding”

“NO!” Granger exclaimed. 

“ _ Cruc _ \--” Potter’s scream filled Rosa’s head though he wasn’t doing that yet. 

“Stop” she said, calm and collected. Draco’s grip on her wrists tightened. Umbridge’s brows came together on her forehead. Rosa let her smile take over. “Potter can take pain. What he can’t do is watch his friends in pain.”

Umbridge smiled proudly as if saying ‘I knew you wouldn’t abandon the cause’ and pointed her wand at Granger.

“No, Professor. You should do it on me” she offered as if she was becoming a martyr.

“Why is that?” the plump lady seemed quite puzzled. Rosa had to think on her feet.

“Potter fancies me” Couple people in the room looked at Rosa like she was insane. She could’ve sworn she heard Draco growl into her ear. She in turn gave Potter a look that said ‘go with it, goddammit’. “Don’t you Potter?” Umbridge lifted her wand at Rosa.

“Please don’t, Professor” Potter pleaded, his voice wouldn’t convince a rock. A moment passed. Apparently Umbridge was a rock since she kept on smiling. 

Rosa flipped her hands around, so that Draco’s and her palms were facing each other. She linked their fingers. He squeezed. 

“ _ Crucio _ !” the red flash hit her chest like it had hundreds of times before. The curse was weaker than Longbottom’s, but Rosa did scream. She tried to make it as realistic as she could. She kept her hands relaxed so that Draco would know that she wasn’t really in pain. She bucked her knees slightly, as if she was about to fall to the ground.

“STOP! PLEASE! Harry just tell her or I will” it was Granger. The spell left Rosa’s body, she kept her acting up by taking long shaky breaths. She straightened herself up and squeezed Draco’s hand back before unlinking them. 

“Tell me what?” 

“Dumbledore’s secret weapon. In the forbidden forest” It was a lie. Rosa could tell from the look Granger gave her. 

“Show me” Umbridge demanded, taking Ronald and Granger together with Potter out of the office (who had to leave their wands behind), most likely towards the forest. Everyone else was left alone with the Squad members into the office. 

“We need to get out” Rosa whispered to Draco. He nodded. 

“Stupefy me” he whispered, “Boys, give their wands to me” he ordered the Slytherins. They did just that. Draco’s hand was equipped with three extra wands, notably he hadn’t taken Rosa’s.

“I’ll stay here, you go check if there are more of them out in the halls” the boys nodded in blatant submission. Draco’s orders were the law to them. When the door closed, and Draco let go of her wrists she whipped around her wand out, pointing at her best friend.

“ _ Stupefy _ ” she didn’t let the magic be strong. Draco was propelled back and he hit the wall of the office, thrown onto the floor. He dropped the three wands intentionally though it looked as if it was an accident. The Gryffindors and Lovegood went to work, getting their wands and running towards the door. The door?

“Where are you going? We need to get to the Ministry! The Floo’s right there!” she ranted. 

“We need the Trio” Longbottom just said.

“How are we supposed to get--”   


“We’ll fly”

+++

Rosa was one of the three of the Squad to be able to see what they were flying on. The creatures were ugly and bony, the flight to the Ministry was not comfortable. It wasn’t the first time Rosa hoped that she could not see the Therestals. Taking the Floo would’ve been faster and more comfortable.

When they actually crammed into the phonebooth Rosa got even more uncomfortable. Se was being squished by Granger and the youngest Weasley. The booth started moving down.

“Can you… not touch me?” Rosa requested when the elevator was half way down, getting increasingly uncomfortable with the unconsented touch. 

“There’s no space, can you survive a little longer?” Granger’s voice was calm and soothing. 

“How is she supposed to be able to fight if a touch throws her off?” the question came from Ginerva. 

“I’d rather be in a battle” Rosa was the first one out of the red box. Rest of the group was not far behind, though she kept a good couple feet between the her and the others. Potter seemed to know where he was going whilst most of them who had never gone to the Ministry before were curiously looking around the empty halls. 

“Can we keep it moving?” Rosa hurried them along, it didn’t seem like any of them realized that people were actually in danger. Longbottom hadn’t even taken his wand out yet. They made their way to the actual lifts, thankfully they had a bit more space in them. Rosa could barricade herself into the right corner as the lift started moving towards the Department of Mysteries. By the time they reached the level Longbottom had his wand and Rosa’s heart was beating.

“Where are they?” Rosa asked when they were confronted by an empty hallway. 

“What do you mean th--”   


“This way” Potter cut Longbottom off and gave him a weird look. They kept on following Potter through the dark hallways, all of their wand illuminating the way. Their footsteps’ echoes and their quick breaths filled the otherwise silenced air. 

“There. Sirius was there” Potter whispered, pointing at a door couple meters forward.

“What about Remus? Or the Order?” Rosa asked, her brows coming together on her forehead. Longbottom, Lovegood and Ginerva gave her weird looks.

“Let’s just worry about Sirius first” Granger said quickly.

“No! Remus-- the Order--” Potter opened the door which silenced her, seeing the rows upon rows of crystal balls going high up into the ceiling. Everyone stepped in, walking and looking around the peculiar hall. Whilst everyone else was keeping their wands up, Rosa was illuminating hers towards the floor, looking for the huge snake that would attack anyone. 

They continued walking forward, taking turns here and there whilst Potter looked for the correct shelf. “Here” Potter said, pointing at the crossing. 

“Where is everyone?” Rosa asked, not understanding.

“Harry where is Sirius?” Ronald asked his best friend.

“No, where is everyone. Sirius, Remus, the Order”   


“What are you talking about?” Longbottom asked, looking up at the crystal balls around the area. Rosa whipped her head to Granger and then back to Potter and then once more back to Granger. She got a really bad feeling.

“Potter. Your vision. Sirius getting attacked by the same snake as Mr. Weasley? And the Order-- and Remus here, right?” her voice was trembling, terrified how familiar the feeling that was bubbling in her stomach was. Her mind was thrown to the day after Granger had seen her marks. When she had walked into the Great Hall only to realize that she had told Weasley and Potter everything about it. Rosa felt her chest wanting to start heaving, she refused to let her body do so.

“Dawn. In my vision… it was Sirius and Voldemort. No one else was here” just as the words left Potter’s mouth, Rosa gasped. She had to take a couple of steps back, her mouth refusing to close and without her knowledge her chest was heaving.

Longbottom said something concerning the crystal ball he found, Rosa couldn’t hear. Her mind just black out, her eyes going haywire. The fear in her stomach was worse than she had ever felt. Voldemort was here. The Dark Lord was here. Granger came up to her.

“Rosa?” Rosa didn’t even have the idea to scold her for the way she addressed her. 

“Voldemort is here… You fucking bitch” Rosa said between her breaths. She grabbed the nearest shelf to her to lean on. 

“We need you here” Granger’s eyes were pleading.

“You… fucking told me I didn’t need to fight your battles!” Rosa exclaimed. 

“Rosa if you could just see, you don’t need to choose his side! You are a good person! No matter how many insults you throw at me or Remus, we both see that you love people and you care. You don’t need to act like a Death Eater-- you are not one! You are good!” Granger ranted, trying to convince the girl.

“You absolute bitch--!” Rosa cried. 

“GUYS!” The exclamation came from Potter who was ushering for them to come and huddle for some reason. Both of the Gryffindor girls ran to him. In front, stood Lucius Malfoy. In a matter of seconds, Bellatrix was behind him and… Madilyn Dawn with her. It took exactly two seconds for Rosa to put her mask on.

She made her way through the DA members only to courtesy in front of Lucius. 

“Lord Malfoy” she greeted the man. “Lady Lestrange. Mother” she bowed her head down as she greeted the witches.

“Well, well, Miss Dawn. How come you find yourself together with these lowlives?” Lucius asked, his eyes brows slightly raised.

“My apologies Lord Malfoy. They tricked me, telling me that… someone I care for was here, in danger. I was stupid enough to actually believe them. If you’ve heard of my… talent… they wanted me here presumably for that reason… I had no idea you would--” Rosa cut her vicious lying off when Lucius lifted his hand to silence her. 

“I have no interest in listening to your constant excuses child. Turn around and point your wand at the Mudblood” he ordered. “We’re here at your Master’s orders after all. You are loyal to him, are you not?” in an instant, Rosa did a 180, and pointed her wand between Granger’s eyes. She gave her a blaming glare. Once more, her loyalties were chosen for her. Rosa was glad though, that she couldn’t see the proud smile that was definitely decorating her mother’s face.

“Potter. Give me the Prophecy” It was Lord Malfoy once more giving out the orders. Potter was refusing the command. Instead he looked around; the DA members were surrounded on four sides. 

“ _ Now! _ ” he shouted and then all Hell broke loose. Curses and jinxes were thrown, many of the Death Eaters evaporated into the air in black fog. Rosa didn’t know what to do. None of the DA members hit her with anything, making sure she was not targeted. But no incantation left her mouth, no spark left her wand. She was overwhelmed with who she was supposed to attack, thus frozen in place.

The group of teenagers started running Rosa felt a violent tug on her upper arm; Granger was forcing her to run with them. She did, not realizing why or where. Granger kept shooting curses left and right whilst dragging Rosa behind her. 

Rosa saw Madilyn looking at her like she was committing the worst sin imaginable. She couldn’t react to the look. She did see her mother throwing a Cruciatus into her chest. There was barely a tingle, and Granger sent Madilyn tumbling backwards into the unknown with a  _ Stupefy _ . 

There was black fog everywhere, and flashes of different colours went around some hitting Rosa too, but she didn’t really feel much other than some tingling in her left hand. But she kept running, her wand useless hanging in her hand. It was chaos that Rosa didn’t know how to solve.

And then the bloody shelves started coming down like dominoes. Part of Rosa just wanted to stop running and just get buried. But Granger kept dragging her forcefully, running, chests heaving, hoping and praying that the Death Eaters would be gone. 

Rosa allowed herself to be pulled through a door, falling. Falling towards nothingness. Then she snapped back to reality.

“ _ ARRESTO MOMENTUM _ !” she shouted with her hoarse voice, whilst the other were just screaming their heads off. The whole group came to a halting stop before they could be killed by the rocky ground of the hall. Rosa stood up before anyone else had the chance to do so.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!” she shouted at the group, her chest heaving painfully quickly. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU’VE DONE?!” she kept on ranting at the teenagers that were now all standing. 

“Rosa--” Granger started, guilty faced.   


“Don’t call me that!” Rosa kept on shouting, burying her face into her hands. She felt a little more herself, that was the only reason for her to scold the girl over calling her simply 'Rosa'.

“Dawn, calm down--”   


“I-- You just made me number two on Voldemort’s to kill list--”   


The black fog was back, multiple of them flying around them, but none of them touched Potter or Rosa. Seconds passed, and the rest of the teenagers were on wand point. Lucius was facing Potter, talking. Rosa didn’t dare to listen, since Madilyn was next to her.

“You’re going to make me proud today, Rosa” she whispered to her ear. 

Rosa felt a tear leaving her eye, but couldn’t feel if it landed on her cheek. Her heart was in her throat, and her mother’s hand squeezed her shoulder in fake affection. 

On the other side of the room, Granger’s eyes were going between Potter and Rosa. She saw Potter talking about the Prophecy and Rosa, frozen in place, terrified by her mother. Everyone else was silent, Longbottom did shout something. Lucius was spouting threats and Madilyn was whispering into Rosa’s ear.

Out of nowhere white stripes of fog surrounded the room, attacking the Death Eaters as coloured lights filled the air. Madilyn was sweeped off from next to Rosa to somewhere. Once more, Rosa didn’t know who she was supposed to attack.

Then she saw Remus, fighting one of the Death Eaters she didn’t know the name of. With a shaking hand she lifted her wand and shot a quick  _ Stupefy  _ at the masked man who went flying to the wall. Remus turned his head to see Rosa. He apparated to her.

“Are you alright?” He asked in a blur, his head turning everywhere, making sure to shield every curse coming their way. 

Rosa didn't have the time to nod. “REMUS!” Madilyn growled from couple meters over, a bruise decorating her cheek, and her hair disheveled. Her expression was manic, mirroring one that Rosa would see on Bellatrix. Eyes on fire in rage, she lifted her wand. Remus did the same, but with a pained expression.

“ _ Crucio _ !” the spell was surely making its way towards Remus’ chest, but Rosa decided to step in front of him, taking the wrath of the spell herself. Her left hand cramped harshly. 

Remus groaned then, “ _ Expelliarmus! Stupefy! Reducto! Stupefy! _ ” he incantated and incantated, sending each curse straight towards the woman who was causing pain to his child. Madilyn was catapulted backwards, when she landed she started crawling towards her wand.

Rosa felt as the curse was lifted from her body, her hand still cramping. “Stay here!” Remus shouted and disappeared to the air in white fog, presumably to keep on dueling. Rosa could see him from time to time, checking that she was okay and safe.

Looking around, everyone had an opponent. Potter was fighting Lucius together with Sirius. Granger was coupled with Lovegood against two Death Eaters, one of them Rosa recognized to be a Carrow. She saw Tonks and Moody practically smiling whilst dueling their masked opponents. Ginerva ran past Rosa, giving her a puzzling look as if to say ‘why aren’t you doing anything’. 

Rosa heard the pop of apparition behind her, she violently turned. It was Madilyn, looking even more disheveled and injured than before. Her wand was up and a smile on her face. Rosa couldn’t speak or send a curse her way. She just couldn’t.

“ _ Imperio _ ” yellow smoke left Madilyn’s wand, and Rosa’s mind was fogged; filled a floating feeling, like there was no care in the world. Rosa even let a smile take over.

Madilyn forced her to turn around by her shoulders. Rosa didn’t oppose, still smiling and relishing the floating feeling in her mind. Her chest had stopped heaving, her heart beating regularly and her nostrils filling with the smell of hot chocolate. Madilyn looked in front, not seeing Remus anywhere to her disappointment.

_ ‘Ah… your godfather…’  _ Madilyn was not speaking, but Rosa could hear her voice in her brain, taking over every little movement of her body.  _ ‘Kill him’ _ And only then Rosa came to the mind that she did not want to do so. But her wand came up to point at the ex-convict, the man who had given her advice and had helped her though he had told Remus everything. It was the man who called her ‘kid’ and not once had she opposed that. Her godfather.

_ ‘Kill the blood traitor’ No, no, no, no _ . She tried fighting against the fog in her mind but inside, Rosa knew she wouldn’t be able to fight it for much longer.  _ No, no, I don’t want to _ . Her mind screamed at her, but the words ‘ _ Kill Sirius Black _ ’ were like an inevitable command in her head to do it, no matter how much she protested.

Her face was wet with tears, her chest was violently going up and down as Rosa sobbed, trying to fight the instructions in her head. Nothing that she told herself, screamed at herself, would let her lower her wand. 

_ 'KILL HIM NOW’  _ Sirius was looking at her, smiling. He was winning the duel with Potter. He turned, his back to Rosa now, continuing to spit out curses. 

The future was here. And Rosa Dawn was on the wrong side. For the first time in her life, she understood which side of the war she truly wanted to be on. It was not the side she was meant to be a part of.  

She let it happen. No one could fight against one’s destiny. And it seemed that Rosa Dawn was destined to be a murderer. 

“ _ Avada Kedavra _ !” the green flash left Rosa’s wand just as someone tackled her to the ground. She felt physical pain for the first time in months. Her head hit one of the rocks on the ground and the world soon went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAA! Another tiny cliffhanger!   
> Tell what you thought of this little thingy!!
> 
> Thanks for reading and as always, leave a comment/kudos/bookmark or just have an amazing day!!


	25. Shifting Blame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here you go~~ finally got this thing together, again, slight apologies for the cliffhanger >:D
> 
> Also, we're at 25 chapters now, which is amazing, so thank you again to everyone for keeping on reading and commenting/kudosing!!

_Sirius Black is dead._

Rosa knew that before she woke up. The fact hurt. But the pain was only amplified when she added another fact to it.

_Sirius Black is dead because I killed him._

She had to take a few moments before she allowed herself to face the world. Face the world as the new Rosa Dawn. The Rosa Dawn who was a killer. Honestly, she’d probably stayed in that bed for eternity, playing dead if she didn’t desperately need to use the toilet. So, she warily opened her eyes to the sun filled Hospital Wing.

Remus was there, speaking softly with Madame Pomfrey about something Rosa couldn’t hear. Longbottom was on the bed next to hers, unconscious. Other than that the Hospital Wing was empty.

Hoping that she could just sneak out, Rosa quietly peeled the duvet from on top of her and placed her bare feet onto the cold stone floor.

“Where do you think you’re going, young lady?” Madame Pomfrey scolded, immediately noticing Rosa’s movements. Rosa cursed herself under her breath.

“The lavatory” she gave the honest answer, conveniently not mentioning that she didn’t plan on returning. Remus approached her quickly, making sure not to raise his hands to touch her.

“Are you feeling okay? Tonks really tackled you good” Rosa’s eyebrows raised. Wouldn’t the first logical thing to do after one’s daughter killed their best friend to shout? Or even ask about it?

“I’m fine. How about… What happened after?” Rosa was genuinely curious.

“Pain? Cramping? Pressure around the side of your head?” Madame Pomfrey asked, trying to diagnose her.

“No, no and no. Remus?” Rosa answered quickly, not mentioning that her left hand definitely was still cramping. It wasn’t really that painful, just like prolonged pins and needles. Remus sighed.

“You-Know-Who and Dumbledore battled, You-Know-Who eventually escaped. He wanted a prophecy… Um… Rosa I don’t know how to tell you this--”

“Is Mum alive?” Rosa asked immediately, heart beating.

“She fled before the Minister showed up. Just a few bruises--”

“Then who?” Rosa pressed.

“Sirius. Bellatrix got him...” Rosa let out a breath she was holding.

_Lie._

“And he didn’t make it” Remus finished. He didn’t know. The green flash had left Rosa’s wand. And he was in mourning, his face was crushed. He didn’t realize that the true culprit why Sirius was gone was right in front of him. Rosa immediately broke their eye contact in shame.

What would he say if he knew? It was his best friend, last of the ones who was alive and still loyal to him. The unconditional love he told her about would certainly diminish. Remus would disown her immediately. An Order member would never kill an innocent. She belonged in Azkaban.

The idea of telling him the truth skipped her mind immediately. Rosa refused to get disowned by him, her heart couldn’t take it. She would just… do what she always did to him.

“Can I leave?” she turned her face to Madame Pomfrey who nodded her answer.

Before she had the chance to hop down from the bed Remus butted in, “You stepped in front of me when your mother curse me” he stated.

“I did”

“Why?”

A silence fell. Madame Pomfrey made her leave, feeling out of place. Rosa wanted to throw herself into Remus’ arms and cry herself to sleep. She wouldn’t allow herself that joy. She didn’t deserve that anymore.

“I can take it, you can’t” it was a lame excuse.

“That’s not a reason” he called out her bullshit.

“I wasn’t thinking” that excuse was ever shittier than the earlier one.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes” Remus nodded in understanding, with a sad remnant of a smile on his lips.

“I love you too, Rosa” Rosa closed her eyes and shook her head just for a moment.

“I’m going to go now” she finally hopped down from the bed, didn’t wait for his goodbye and practically ran for the closest toilet.

The walk of shame from the toilet to the Common Room was more than just shameful. There weren’t too many students in the halls, but each one she passed was staring. At least it felt like they were staring, like they knew. Rosa kept her eyes firmly on the ground, refusing to look at anyone after passing four fellow students.

“Excuse me, are you Rosa Dawn?” a little second year boy wearing Gryffindor robes asked her as she was walking up the staircase.

“Depends, who’s asking?” she said, making sure that the blond haired boy would get the hint.

“Dennis Creevey. My brother, Colin, he told me about you… and I was wondering if you’d teach me some offensive spells, I mean, nothing superbad, or you know, just basic stuff… I’m a second year, almost third! And a Gryffindor! Would you help me? Or teach me? Please?” the boy went on to rambling.

“Potter is a better at that than me” it was a bad excuse.

“He said that I’m too young” his face contorted into a frown.

“Well, I think he’s onto something”

“You won’t teach me?” Dennis’ face went from his frown into sad puppy eyes.

“Why would you want me anyway? Ask Granger. Or Weasley. The twins would help you 100%” 

“Because Colin said that you were stronger… like you… at home… your parents--”

“Mum. Just my Mum. Don’t talk ill of my Father, ever” she warned the boy.

“I… I just thought that would make you kind of a hero… unlike Harry… like… you know… someone who’s overcome something really bad and keeps helping others rather than just going to the other side because it’s easy” Rosa had to bite her cheek not to scream in frustration and breakdown. The boy was so ignorant, thinking so much of her all of which she didn’t deserve. Rosa let out a relaxing breath when they finally made it to the Gryffindor Tower.

“Alea Iacta Est” Rosa stated quickly to the Fat Lady who happily swung the door open. Rosa turned to the boy. “I won’t teach you” she said with finality.

As Rosa stepped into the warmth of the Common Room she saw the Trio and the Weasleys sitting around the fire. Potter was very clearly upset and crying. All of the DA members were saddened, their foreheads creased in mourning. Granger noticed Rosa in the alcove, and called for her. “Are you alright, Rosa?” she questioned, not standing up since her hand was patting Potter’s back gently.

_Whose fault is it that they’re all in mourning?_

_You took a life. A living person is gone because of you._

_Look at them._

_All your fault._

She started backing up when the reality of her actions hit her. Potter’s face lifted and their eyes met. Rosa couldn’t even remember that she was mad at them for lying to her. For making her go with them. She just saw Potter, red-eyes and completely destroyed and… all of his family gone. Because of her.

She turned around and fled. She ran, not able to look at them no longer. It was too much. The familiar feeling of an anxiety attack was starting to linger. Thankfully going downstairs was quicker than the opposite. Without thinking, she ran straight to the dungeons.

A turn to the left, she could feel her chest starting to heave uncontrollably.

A turn to the left again, the green magic flashed before her eyes.

A turn to the right, she felt a tear leaving her eye.

A turn to the left and she saw the final turn approaching, her legs starting to tire.

A final turn to the right and she saw the familiar door of Draco’s quarters. She barged in through the unlocked door.

“Get the fuck out” she said with a trembling but demanding voice when she saw Draco snogging someone underneath him on the bed. Various pieces of clothing lay on the ground, but both of them were still at least wearing their undergarments.

He sprang up from the bed, startled. Rosa could tell he was about to start shouting for cockblocking him again, but he saw her state and froze.

Rosa’s face was red and flushed, but not from embarrassment. Her face was wet with tears and sweat whilst her breaths were short and uncontrollable. She was leaning her right hand onto the wall to keep herself from falling over.

“Dracoo… tell her to leave” the girl, who hadn’t moved whined with a high pitched voice. In turn, Draco reached for the ground picking up the girl’s skirt and robe and threw them to her.

“Get out, Hufflepuff” Rosa would’ve smirked if she could’ve; he didn’t remember the girl’s name.

“Are you serious? Because of her?!” suddenly the Hufflepuff was offended by the request.

“Either you leave now or I throw you out. Now” his eyes never left Rosa’s, as he waited for the girl to make her leave. With an extremely loud ‘hmph’ the girl grabbed her clothing and stomped out of the room.

Just when the door slammed shut, Draco hurried to Rosa, wiping her tears away not really caring that he was literally only wearing boxers and an unbuttoned uniform shirt.

“I killed Sirius Black” she cried. “I killed Sirius Black” she said it again. “I killed Sirius Black” and again. And again. And again. Her voice trembled and she cried. Draco was shaking his head.

“No--” he was looking pale, not believing her words.

“I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK!” in that moment, Rosa’s legs gave out and she collapsed onto Draco’s feet. Her crying was uncontrollable and sporadic. The control she had when she had her mask on was completely gone. This was pure, bottled up emotion cascading out as guilt.

Draco crouched down to help her back onto her feet. “Come on, up you come” he said with a tone that didn’t suit him. “Just until the bed now, Ro”

“Don’t call me that” the whine left her throat as Draco helped her down onto the bed. He scoffed at her comment.

“If you want that privilege you lay down now, Ro” she frowned and sniffled but obeyed the demand.

“The bed’s dirty”

“No, it’s not, Rosa Dawn” he came to lay next to her, making sure not to touch her further.

“I don’t want to sleep” she whined but did no protest when Draco started picking up the duvet and tucking her firmly in.

“Then just rest”

A silence fell. It wasn’t comfortable; both of the teenagers kept their eyes open and their sight firmly on the ceiling. Rosa inhaled the warm scent of the fireplace, reminding her of the Gryffindor common room where she just fled from. Draco’s finger came to her face, Rosa couldn’t feel it, but assumed it was to wipe away yet another tear.

  
  


“Ask me about it” Rosa eventually broke the silence.

“Why should I?” Draco asked in turn.

“Because no one else will”

“Why?” it was clear that Draco didn’t want to know any of the answers. He wasn’t interested in how his best friend became a killer. To him, Rosa was always this pure little girl who should be protected. That’s why he made the vow to begin with.

“They think Bellatrix did it… she must’ve stood next to me” Rosa explained.

“Then why are you so worried, you got out of it--”

“Because the truth is that I killed Sirius Black. I did it. No one else. Me. I took a life”

“Why did you do it then?” Rosa took a moment before answering.

“I stood in front of Remus to take my mother’s curse. I was confused I didn’t attack anyone, I was overwhelmed, I didn’t want to be on anyone’s side. Mum got angry, said something about me making her proud. She cast the Imperius on me… I… I couldn’t fight it” Draco stood up immediately, Rosa could practically see the steam coming out from his ears. He paced the room a couple times, pinching the bridge of his nose, clenching and unclenching his fists, before he spoke.

“She-- I will kill her. This is not your fault Rosa Dawn, don’t you dare-- she is the killer here, not you. I told you once, you are no murderer and never will be one”

“The curse left from my wand”

“Don’t you see?” he came to kneel on the foot of the bed, “If you were to cast that curse on him. Would’ve you meant it?”

“He was my godfather, Draco”

“Exactly. Just because the curse left your lips doesn’t mean that you killed him, Rosa. Remember counterfeit Moody? If you don’t mean it, the curse doesn’t kill, barely gets a nosebleed out of the enemy. Your mother meant it. It was _her_ curse, not yours. You’re not responsible for the things someone has literally forced you to do”

“Some people can resist it” Rosa rebutted his speech. “Don’t try to make me feel better, Draco, it won’t work. I… The green flash, I see it everytime I close my eyes, and your Father there--”

“My Father was there?”

“Yeah. A bunch of Death Eaters… Vo-- the Dark Lord was there, he failed in getting some prophecy… and it seems that my Death Eater future was then decided”

“Stop thinking like that! You will not--”

“Do you really think that there’s any hope-- any way that I could not get the Mark now? I mean, I just fucking killed an Order member, and talked to your Father about where my ‘loyalties lie’. I’m a fucking Death Eater, alright” she ranted. Draco’s face fell.

“So, you’re just giving up then? Going to marry Nott and live happily ever after? Just bucher a bunch of other people, strangers, muggles, anyone he tells you to?” his face was edged with disappointment.

“You want to know my future Draco? Do you really think I’m going to get a perfect future with white fucking fences and my Dad walking me down the aisle and perfect Hufflepuff kids? Really? I’m going to fucking kill and butcher and bleed myself until the Dark Lord in victorious. And yeah, I’ll marry Theodore bloody Nott, but what do you think he’ll say when he sees me? Huh? On our wedding night after the ridiculously expensive wedding? Do you think he would touch me when he sees my body littered with scar tissue?” she ranted, continuously.

“Rosa D--”

“My bet is that he touches me just enough to put a male heir in me and then he’ll run to the whorehouse next door”

“Is that all? Just a bloody husband you’re concerned of?!”

“What else do I have, Draco? If I tell Remus the truth he’ll disown me. You’re my only friend. The Death Eaters at least have a use for me” she sounded absolutely defeated.

“ _I’ll reserve you_ ” he blurted out. Rosa’s stomach made a violent tumble.

“W-what?”

“I will reserve you and promise to marry you. But only after the war. And you’ll try to find someone else. Someone respectable outside of Hogwarts--”

“You’re reserved to Astoria”

“Well, since she’s currently reserved to that Gamdon kid, I’d be quite surprised if our reservation was still valid”

“You can’t--”

“I can and I will. But you promise me, if we marry, we do so only after the war. If the Dark Lord loses we go our separate ways”

“You mean we go to Azkaban”

“Yeah” he nodded.

“You shouldn’t do this for me”

“Rosa. If that’s what keeps you from taking the Mark I will do anything” she shook her head.

“I… You know, if he tells me to get the Mark I can’t refuse”

“I know. But I don’t want you to volunteer either”

“You’d marry a killer?” she asked, finally. Draco shifted on the bed towards her, his hand coming to swipe away tears from her cheeks like it was his duty to do so.

“If it’s my destiny to get into an arranged marriage, I’d marry you. And you are no killer, Rosa Dawn”

“Draco, before you jump into this… if you break this… I can’t lose your friendship and-- and you'll lose your reputation I'm a halfblood Gryffindor for Merlin's sake! Remember what they said at the Ball?” 

“I have no plan on stopping being friends with you. And I’m not planning on stopping my escapades in this room until you have a proper ring on your finger. What comes to my reputation I don't give a shit” Rosa nodded half in understanding, half in annoyance. “And… if I promise this, you have to promise me not to choose a side yet. Not yet, please, Rosa Dawn, I can’t-- I can’t live with myself if you get branded”

“Please don’t-- Draco. My side has already been chosen. Sirius… he smiled at me the moment before--” he reached for her face once more. “At that moment I knew. This is my life now… And if-- if you decide on a side--”

“I don’t want you to follow my every step like every other pureblood fiance”

“The promise goes both ways. Am I supposed to just sit down and watch as you get branded? As they do to you everything they did to me?” Draco shook his head disapprovingly. “Fine. I… I refuse your proposal” she stated with finality. “Just let me… just let me be a killer”

“No. I won’t let you. This is the point where I draw the line. You are not a killer. Get that through to your thick head would you?” his voice was becoming annoyed, but he didn’t move, locking his eyes with her red and puffy ones.

“Then you stop thinking me as a child!”

“Fuck, Rosa,” he stood up and started pacing the room frantically, “I’m sorry, I’m trying to keep you safe! Do you have any idea what it felt like seeing you in the-- the fucking hospital bed.. Bleeding, just bleeding-- and fucking hell, Rosa, I love you, ok? I-- You are my best friend, I don’t want-- I will not let you get hurt like that again, I won’t!”  Rosa was rendered speechless.

“Stop thinking that I will just leave you. Do you have any idea how absolutely insufferable you’ve been this whole fucking year? I just went with it because you went and showed me that I’ve been a shit friend. I’ve been listening to you whine the whole year! I won’t take it anymore! It’s your time to return the bloody favour. Could you just… not… Just start-- I get that you’re upset. Sure. Be upset. But you’re not a killer. Or a bad person. No matter how much you think you are. I’m not having it anymore. Stop with the self pity. Right now”

Rosa took a moment. She wanted to take few breaths before speaking.

“No”

“What?”

“Everytime I let someone speak me into something I get into trouble. I won’t let you do it to me. I’ll join the Death Eaters one way or the other. You can… you can scold me over it if you want. But that’s my decision”

“Tell me why” Draco demanded.

“Because there I have family that will accept me no matter who I kill. They won’t leave me like the Order would… Like my Father would. They preach this shit about unconditional love, but it’s all bullshit. I just… Acceptance. That’s what I want”

It was Draco’s turn to think for a moment. He was biting his lip for a moment, still pacing the room, only now with a slower pace. Finally he turned to Rosa.

“You promise not to lie to me” he stated.

“Okay” Rosa responded.

“If there’s someone hurting you, you tell me”

“My Mum. All the time” Rosa told him.

“If there’s something going on with your body with all the pain shit you tell me”

“My left hand has been cramping since couple days ago” He came to sit down and grabbed her left hand, starting massaging it gently. He studied her expression and when she didn’t show any visible discomfort he kept on going.

“And you’ll let me reserve you. On a second thought, it doesn’t matter if we end up marrying or not. I just want you out of the market for the duration of the war. Your Mum will be happy and if… if you get branded my parents will too. I still say you won’t volunteer to get the Mark, and take it only if you’re commanded to do so”

“Okay”

“Cross your heart?” he asked.

“You promise me the exact same things” Rosa demanded. Draco groaned. “The promises go both ways, Draco.”

“Okay” he agreed reluctantly.

“Together?” Rosa asked, letting the nostalgia of the situation take over.

“Cross my heart, hope to die” they stated in unison.

“I’ll send a letter to my parents later” Draco explained, she just nodded in return. “And you’re not expecting fidelity--”

“Draco, we’re not a couple” Rosa had to admit to herself that inside she was slightly disappointed by that fact, “Like you said. Not until I have a proper ring on my finger”

“Good” he said, some emotion edging his voice that Rosa didn’t recognize. In turn, Draco turned all of his attention to continuing to massage Rosa’s hand.

“Draco?”

“Hmm?” 

“I love you too” Rosa audibly swallowed, trying not to feel too awkward after admitting the fact. “And I’m sorry for… being insufferable” his hands left hers to reach for her cheek for the thousandth time that day. “I just… don’t know how to cope with all this-- and I can’t face any of them...” breaking their eye contact, Rosa closed her eyes once more trying to rid herself of unpleasant memories.

“Rosa?”

“Yeah?” Rosa asked, not opening her eyes.

“We have a safehouse in France. Mum and Father want me to spend my summer there… since the Manor will be kind of a base… Headquarters… They won’t be around at all. You’re not going to stay with your Mother for obvious reasons and--”

“Are you asking me to join you?” she cut her off, eyes now open and full of hope.

“Yeah” Rosa took a quarter of a second before she sat up properly, and wrapped her arms around him tightly. He returned the favour, only his hands were much more gentle around her, noticing that she was very stiff.

“Thank you” Rosa whispered whilst buried in the crook of his neck.

“Relax, Rosa” Draco whispered back, moving his hand up and down her back, not knowing if she could feel it or not. Knowing that her head had feeling he petted her hair.

“I can’t… I killed--”

“Don’t”

“That’s why. I can’t… I just can’t function” fear edged her weak voice. It was true, Rosa felt absolutely broken by her own actions, it didn’t matter what Draco said. None of it changed the fact that her godfather was dead because of her. The fact was eating her alive, everything of which she obviously deserved.

“I got you. Always, Rosa Dawn”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wink wink for everyone who got the Hamilton reference (maybe a little eater egg for the lovely thetasteofhercherrycarmex for their brilliant Hamilton rewrites) Also, massive thank you for everyone who's continuously commenting I very much appreciate it and they do make my day <3  
> To everyone else, thank you for reading!!  
> And as always leave a comment/bookmark/kudos or just have a wonderful day~~


	26. Adequate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost a week it's been! This has been the longest time I haven't uploaded and it felt so odd!! I started work, which is the reason I didn't have time to write... BUT HERE'S A CHAPTER PLS ENJOY
> 
> Also, I know the timeline is a little fucked up here compared to canon...

_ Rosa Malfoy. What a ring it has!  _

_ I take you’ve understood the delightful letter I just received from Lady Malfoy. Draco has made a request to reserve you. You! And Lord and Lady Malfoy believe it’s a wonderful match! Granted, they do expect you to keep your standing with the Dark Lord, which I doubt you will have any problem doing.  _

_ I take you’ve heard that Lord Malfoy is also being sent to Azkaban, so I’d assume the Malfoy’s will lose some standing among the Death Eaters as well. Keep that in mind if any better suitors come your way. _

_ Curiously, they’ve also asked me to give out my permission for you to spend the summer with him. Now, I do not like this idea. I hope they are not reserving you only for the duration of the summer so that Mr. Draco could have a personal whore. He must not defile you, no matter how many times he has done that already.  _

_ You must make him fall in love with you. That way he won’t break the reservation no matter how bad your reputation is. People will talk, but if you keep your standing with the Dark Lord those words will be of respect and admiration.  _

_ I will see you in the trial, darling. My representation will be in contact. _

__ \- MSD _ _

 

_ P.S You made me proud in the Ministry. The word is already going around. Good shot, sweetheart.  _

 

Rosa’s hands were shaking by the time she finished reading the letter. It was lunch time, Rosa was sitting alone at the very end of the Gryffindor table, as far as she could from the DA gang. Frantically, she looked around. 

_ The word is already going around. _

There were people other than Draco that knew. The rumours flew around quickly, especially among the purebloods. The word of her ‘good shot’ would get out, unless she did something about it. 

_ If the word made to Potter, Father will find out by the end of the week. _

Shooting her eyes up, Rosa looked towards the Slytherin table. People were whispering, some looks were directed to her. Looking back down at her plate, Rosa let her brain think for a moment, come up with a plan. 

Lying. She had done a lot of that lately. It was eating her up, but it was also keeping her alive. Her circle of lies kept her life intact and from imploding on her. So what was another little lie? A little bit of manipulation more? If she was a killer now, why not use that to her advantage? It was a horrible way of thinking, but Rosa denied herself the luxury not to do so. This was the new Rosa Dawn.

Lunch was nearing its end; the Hall was quite empty. That is when Rosa put on her mask, stood up and promptly walked straight to the Slytherin table, sitting down between Crabbe and Goyle, opposite to Parkinson, Lolly and the Greengrasses. She was in the snakepit, surrounded by the now previous members of the Inquisitorial Squad including Draco. 

“What do you want, half breed?” Parkinson spat at her, the insult like venom on her tongue.

“I’ve come here to warn you. All of you” her expression was parked at neutral, not letting a sliver of emotion through. Half of the snakes crumpled their noses in confusion. “I take you’ve heard?” 

“Of your reservation--” 

“No. Of what happened in the Ministry” Underneath the table, Rosa was digging her nail into her palm to keep herself calm. The girls went pale from her words.

“Yes. We did” Lolly said holding her chin up a bit too high to fake confidence.

“I’m telling you not to spread that information” Rosa told them. 

“Why would we do that? It’s a fantastic rumour--”   


“Fact. It’s a fact” Rosa interjected Astoria’s whiny voice. “By now, you’d know that I am to keep Potter’s and the Order’s trust. Do you think the Dark Lord would be very happy if you went around telling everyone that my good aim happened to hit Potter’s godfather? If the Dark Lord’s wrath doesn’t scare you, I should remind you of the curse I’ve come quite adequate in. And again, my aim is good” If the girls could go any paler, they did. Rosa lifted her eyebrows, questioning.

“Understood” Parkinson said quickly, her voice quivering. Rosa flashed a concedending smile.

“Good. Make sure you do” with that Rosa stood up from the Slytherin table and speed walked out of the Hall. For once in her life she was happy to see the Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom approaching.

“Rosa Dawn!” she heard the shout from behind her, but ignored it. She had to make it to the lavatory; deciding on it, she broke into a run. She threw the door to the lavatory open and ran for the sink. Leaning on it heavily she emptied her bowels right then and there. 

As Rosa coughed and cringed at the taste, and felt her hair being pulled back suddenly. She flinched slightly, but a quick look to the mirror gave out Draco’s identity. She tried swatting him off with her right hand but when her lunch wanted to come back up she had to lean on the sink once more.

“Just get it all out and scold me after, Rosa Dawn” Draco said, annoyed still holding her hair back. Rosa spat down, trying to rid herself of the horrid taste. She lifted her eyes up to Draco’s through the mirror. 

“Is this me now?” she asked, part of her didn’t want an answer. 

“You don’t have to be” he stated without thinking. Rosa shook her head and wiped her mouth to the edge of her sleeve. Straightening up, she turned to face Draco.

“Don’t start with that again”   


“So you’re not meeting up with your Father tomorrow in Hogsmeade?” Rosa’s eyebrows came together on her forehead. “If someone asks about your Hogsmeade plans and you give them an excuse to get rid of a shit date, the word will go around. ‘Meeting up with a family member’... I figured your Mother isn’t the type” 

Rosa sighed heavily, “I’m expected to see him, yes” 

“Good. If I can’t talk you out of this mess, maybe he can”

+++

Rosa peeked through the door into the Three Broomsticks. The pub was bustling with students and other adults, laughing and drinking, just having a good time. She stepped in warily, keeping her breathing calm and steady as she made through the crowd, eyes scanning every table.

In the far, lonely corner she saw Remus sitting next to a purple haired woman Rosa remembered to be named something like Tunk? Tanks? The one thing she knew for sure was that she was an Auror and… she had tackled her to the ground in the Ministry which would also mean… she knew the truth about Sirius. 

_ Fuck. _

Rosa froze when Remus noticed her. He stood up, but Rosa could only stare at the Auror. She went pale with fear. She didn’t even notice Remus coming up to her. 

“You came” he just stated. She nodded slightly in return. “There’s someone I want you to meet” Rosa shook her head a bit getting herself out of her head. She ended up following him to the table, a full pint of butterbeer waiting for her. She sat opposite to Remus and the Auror.

“Is she your representation?” Rosa asked hoping for once for the answer to be yes.

The Auror snickered a little. “Do you remember Dora Tonks?” Remus asked, ignoring her question. He was nervous for some reason, which made Rosa uncomfortable. She nodded in answer.

“We’ve been… involved for a while now--”   


“Involved?” Rosa asked, looking at Remus, then to Tonks and back to Remus and then… she noticed their interlocked hands. “Oh” Rosa’s mind was racing, ticking and tangling. She let out a confused breath. 

Raising her eyes back to Tonks she assessed her whilst the couple gave her time to process the information. She was young. That’s the thing Rosa noticed first, she couldn’t’ve been much older than her. 

“Rosa?” Remus asked after a minute passed. Rosa snapped out of her thoughts.

“Hmm?” 

“The reason why I wanted you to meet her… we’re engaged” 

Silence.

Rosa lowered her eyes to her hands. Engaged to be married. 

_ She’s young. _

_ Think about it. _

_ That’s a new family for him. _

_ You finally managed to push him away. Congratulations. _

She lifted her eyes back up, nodding, only this time her face was parked at neutral.

“I-- We would appreciate it if you came to the wedding… It’s still a year away but… I wanted you to be the first one to know” Remus’ eyes were warm and filled with love Rosa knew wasn’t for her. That look in his eyes when he turned his face to smile at the purple haired Auror was the look she had always dreamed of being at the receiving end of. Not romantically, but just in general. That was pure love in his eyes. Those same eyes had never looked at Rosa with that much love. At that moment Rosa’s heart froze into a rock. 

“You want me to be at the wedding?” she repeated the question, a film of hatred coated her glare.

“Yes” Remus answered immediately. Rosa nodded and let out a small scoff.

“I am reserved to be married to Draco Malfoy--”   


“What?!”    


“Will you be at the wedding?” a small silence ensued that Tonks broke.

“Rosa--”   


“You don’t have the right to call me that” Rosa cut her off promptly. “Remus?” 

“I will not condone your arranged marriage, Rosa” he answered with finality. Rosa nodded.

“Then why should I condone yours?” 

“Because we are in love. I doubt you love Malfoy” Remus said with a tone of hatred in his voice. 

“He’s an old friend” Rosa commented. She continued before Remus could butt in once more, “Why should I celebrate my replacement?” she spat the sentence out. Remus was taken back.

“What are you thinking, Rosa?” 

“I-- I understand why you would want a new family, I mean I would be disowning my child if they were getting the Mark or if--” Rosa cut herself off before she could bring up Sirius. 

“You think I’m disowning you?” Rosa scoffed at him, trying to keep the tears that were threatening to fall at bay. 

“Remus. She’s young and… probably a really good Auror. Beyond that the only difference I see between her and I is that her you can fuck--”   


“Rosa!” Remus scolded her immediately.   


“--and I understand why you would replace me with someone like her” Rosa barely got the last words of the sentence out as she swatted away a stray tear that she knew had left her eye. Standing up, she ignored her Father’s exclamations and rushed out of the crowded pub.

Her speed walk was graduated to a run in no time and she started dashing through the town towards the forest. Chest heaving and her cheeks wet, Rosa didn’t care for anyone who was staring at her as she rushed past witches and wizards. Only did she stop when she realized she was about to run a bit too close to the Shrieking Shack for her liking. 

Staring at the heaving building, Rosa sat down on a near bench just burying her face into her hands as she sobbed slightly. 

She was tired of crying and letting her emotions through; it was getting exhausting. Was there a day that went by when she didn’t cry? Looking around her past, remembering her talk with Sirius during the winter. When she talked about her varying moods. It was getting too difficult. She nodded to herself, coming to a decision.

Sirius was dead because of her.

Remus was moving on without her. 

Draco would get the Mark soon. She was destined to do the same.

Rosa just couldn’t face the Trio. 

She could push all that away and put her mask on. Permanently this time, like when Nott had put the Cruciatus on her. Rosa had felt the mask wanting to creep back up, it was slipping on too easily. 

Her decision making was interrupted when she heard someone sitting next to her. “Remus would appreciate your blessing even if you don’t come to the wedding” i was Tonks. “He doesn’t want to replace you. He just happened to fall for me and I for him. I am 23 by the way. He’s 12 years older. And I do love him. I know that I will never be a Mother to you, that is not something I would ever want to be to you. But I do want to be part of your life… like a sister… that fucks you father” they both cringed a little and Rosa sneaked a tiny laugh at her words. 

“I know that this is difficult for you especially since… no one else knows about Sirius--”   


“Don’t you dare blackmail me--”   


“I won’t. But I think you should tell someone--”   


“I told Draco” 

“--and eventually Remus. And what comes to this Draco character, you should try getting out of that. Pureblood divorces are nasty. Also… Remus talks about you in such high regard. And it hurts me seeing him so broken. He cares for you so much but… you keep pushing him away. Now, I know why you do that. You’re testing him, right? Seeing what it takes for him to leave you again?”   


“You don’t know shit” it was a bad defence.

“You have to stop doing that at some point. He will eventually--”   


“Which is why you have to talk him into hating me… We’ll be on the other sides of the war--”   


“No. Remus can’t live with himself if you get the Mark. He’s already absolutely terrified only by the idea. He will never attack you no matter how many times you insult his fiance” 

“You talk like I have a choice. I’ve made promises. I killed-- I’ve done things. My fate is sealed. Just… If he found out he’d disown me anyway, I wasn’t expecting it to happen this early, that’s all”   


“How many times do we have to tell you that he’s not disowning you?”   


“Do you know what it’s like? Being scared of both of your parents? For different reasons obviously. I waited for him for years. Then the reason he comes back is to take revenge on my Mother. And then I saw the way he looked at you. Suddenly I understand why he always was hesitating in his letters when he wrote that he loved me. That look… I’ve never gotten from him. Just pure love. You do have my blessing, Tonks. But I will not believe a word that comes out of his mouth ‘til the day I die” 

“Both of your parents have been bad at their jobs. Just remember which one is trying to correct their old ways. I mean, what would it take for you to believe in him again? He is trying but you’re not giving him a chance. It’s bullshit and extremely unfair”   


“Unfair?” Rosa scoffed. “Don’t you think it was unfair for him to abandon me with a Mother that beat me to a pulp every chance she got? I’m already branded in one way, Tonks” 

“Good point, but he didn’t know. He has tried to make it up to you. He will continue to do so” Tonks stood up but turned to face the younger witch. “If you need a friend to talk to that is not the one person you’re forced to marry, send me a letter. I won’t tell anyone about Sirius, you have my word. And… I thank you for your blessing. I still hope you’d be there. I’d make you a bridesmaid” Rosa nodded, just slightly. “I’ll see you during the summer?”   


“Yeah” she lied once more, not wanting to go into the whole conversation of her running away for the summer months. Tonks nodded.

“Send me letters and answer to your Dad’s ones. He’s probably freaking out so I’ll go” 

“Okay” Tonks flashed a genuine smile and turned to walk away. As Rosa watched the purple haired woman walk off, she let her mask take over. She let her mind be filled with apathy and hatred. She just didn’t want to feel anymore.

+++

Draco noticed the change in her immediately, but didn’t bring it up. Seeing Rosa completely unresponsive and unreactive was difficult, but he knew that she would come back from seeing her Father upset. 

Days went by. Then weeks.

Rosa was just studying for O.W.L’s. She avoided anyone and everyone spending her free periods in Myrtle’s bathroom and her nights in the Room of Requirement. During meal times she went down to the kitchens and commanded the elves for food. 

The Slytherins stayed out of her way, whilst whenever the Trio or DA members tried talking to her she would just walk away. Rosa made sure everyone would know she wanted to be left alone, people mostly thought that she was in mourning. 

When the O.W.L’s finally came around Rosa was the first one to finish each one. She had made sure to answer everything correctly, wanting to beat the Mudblood’s grades. She left each exam hall at least half an hour before anyone. Keeping herself isolated was easy that way. 

Draco expected to see a difference in her behaviour after all of the grueling exams, but saw none. Whenever he had tried to bring it up, Rosa would just call him ‘Mr. Draco’ and excuse herself. He cursed under his breath each time, but he kept with it. Something was wrong, something had happened. Maybe if he was a Gryffindor he would’ve sent a letter to Lupin. But he wouldn’t go that far. 

When Rosa skipped the year ending feast Draco had had enough. He marched to the Room of Requirement, having a hunch that she was there. After asking the blank wall to meet Rosa a door appeared. He stepped into what he recognized to be his own treehouse.

Marching straight into the bedroom of the place he found Rosa lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

“You should eat” he just stated.

“I already did” Rosa said in a monotone voice. 

“Are you finally going to tell me--”   


“No”   


“You promised to be honest with me”   


“I’m not ready” 

“That’s bullshit” he spat out in frustration.

“I know” she just said.

Draco rolled his eyes, “Are you going to push me away too?” 

“I’m trying to” 

“Why?”   


“You wouldn’t be hurting like this if I wasn’t around”

“You’re not considering--”   


“I’m not killing myself, no. I’m saying that if I was just… alone, friendless… everyone’s life would be easier” 

“That’s stupid”   


“I know”

“You’re still coming to France” it wasn’t a question.

“Okay” 

“Go pack then, Train leaves in less than 12 hours”    


“Just a few more minutes” she pleaded.

“Why are you even here? Staring at the ceiling?” Draco’s voice was frustrated and framed with agitation.

Rosa didn’t react to his anger. “In here I can’t hurt anyone and no one can hurt me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!  
> Leave a kudos/bookmark/comment, or just have a fantastic day!


	27. Parental Permission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!  
> So, I've been busy, hence why there's been a week since the last update; sorry about that.  
> I know, this chapter and the last one are not of the same quality as what I normally have been writing; which is also why they are both so damn short. These are fillers, just me trying to push the story forward so that I can get to those chapters I'm actually really excited about (namely the next one and the one after). So with these ones, I've had a bit of a block in writing. My apologies.   
> Anyway, thanks to everyone who still keep on reading, we've surpassed 1000 hits which is incredible, and seriously the amount of comments I still get for this little thing blows my mind, so I thank you for the support.   
> I won't hold you here any longer, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

The Hogwarts express tooted as it pushed forwards, starting its journey. Rosa was staring out the window all lonesome in her compartment. She didn’t know what the plan was after they came to their destination, but she didn’t bother to think about it. 

Her emotions were nullified, not letting herself react to anything around her. The Gryffindors were leaving her alone by now, though she did get some looks from them. And now, the Mudblood thought was a good time to talk to her. The glass compartment opened, the Golden Trio walking in and confidently sitting down opposite to Rosa.

“You are coming to the Burrow for the summer” Weasley stated, no hint of a question in his tone. Rosa kept on looking out of the window.

“I have better plans for my summer. Not to mention better company. Nevertheless, I thank you for the offer Mr. Weasley” her voice was monotone and apathetic.

“Remus will be there most days” the Mudblood added. “He wants to spend time with you…” she started rummaging through her purse, getting out an envelope and handed it to Rosa.

Reluctantly, Rosa took it, tore it open and started reading.

 

_ Rosa. _

_ I asked Hermione to give you this, since I think you haven’t been reading my previous letters. This way I’ll at least know you’re reading them. _

_ As always, I am sorry. This time for not telling you about Dora earlier. It must’ve been a shock. I won’t leave you or her. She told me about you talk - reluctantly, after me pestering about it for a few days. She didn’t give me details, but told me you gave us your blessing. I thank you for that. _

_ I know the last time we spent the holiday together it didn’t go well. But I can’t have you going to your Mother. I just can’t. I am aware that it’s selfish. At this point I don’t care anymore. _

_ One thing that Dora constantly reminds me of is not to take any bs. Especially from you. And we both know you are full of it. I draw the line here, Rosa. I will be waiting for you in the platform. I will duel your Mother if you need to. You’re not going anywhere near her.  _

_ You want me to be a father. This is me doing just that. I promised you I would prove myself to you. I promised to do everything in my power to keep you safe. Right now, that includes you spending the summer at the Burrow. I won’t even be there most of the time if that makes you more open to the idea. Again, in this matter I’m not giving you a choice. _

__    - Dad. _ _

 

_ P.S. I love you. Now and always. _

 

Rosa folded the piece of parchment threw it on the ground and took out her wand. “ _ Incendio _ ” she incantated, without a switch in her expression. Instead of turning to the Trio or back to gaze out of the window, she grabbed her shoulder bag and stood up. The Trio had their jaws on the floor.

“No! You’re being so rude to Remus! Do you have any idea--”   


“Look, Mudblood. This is none of your business. So keep your dirty nose out of it” with that Rosa walked out of the compartment, not waiting to get the obligatory scolding from Weasley for her language. 

With a quick pace Rosa stomped straight to where she knew the Slytherins would be located. If Remus was going to be at the platform, Rosa and Draco needed a plan to avoid him completely. 

She got couple weird looks from the students in the Slytherin carriage. Spotting Draco was easy; his hair gave him away immediately. Parkinson obviously gave her an immediate glare.

“What are you--” she started, but Rosa cut her off promptly.

“Mr. Draco. A word? Alone.” she just commanded. His brows came together above his nose, but he nodded and stood up.

“Where you taking him?” Parkinson asked with an evil smirk on her face. Rosa answered her question before Parkinson could come up with her own answer.

“I’m going to suck him off. Better than you ever did, Miss Pansy” everyone looked at her shocked, just as Rosa started dragging Draco towards the toilets. Hurry was evident in her, which continued to confuse Draco further. 

She actually showed her into the tiny toilet stall, where they together had minimal space.

“Ok, Rosa Dawn… You’re being weird”   


“My Father will be at the platform” she just said, going back to her neutral self.

“You know this is the most I’ve seen you emote in the past month?” Draco ignored her statement completely. “Is it because of him?” Rosa decided not to answer and stayed quiet. “Come back” 

“We need to avoid Remus somehow” 

“No. We will go up to him and talk to him” Draco said, purposely crossing her.

“No.” 

“I will introduce myself, tell where I’m taking you”

“No.”

“If you show me a shred of emotion right now, I won’t do it” Rosa bit her cheek. “You’ve been gone for too long. I haven’t seen you smile or cry or literally furrow your brows. Where the fuck are you?!” he ranted. 

“A shred of emotion?” she met her eyes to his.

“Genuine” he added in to his conditions. 

“I… You…” Rosa took a moment. “Fine. Do what you want, Mr. Draco” she reached for the doorknob. He stopped her, grabbing her wrist. Rosa flinched, he didn’t let her go.

“Do I have to kiss you again?” 

_ Please. _

“You promised” she reminded him.

“Then how the hell am I going to get you back to your senses?!” 

“Please let me go, Mr. Draco. I’m flattered that you care--”   


“Stop this shit right now, How many times--”   


“When we get to France” she cut him off.

“Cross your heart?” he had to be sure. Rosa closed her eyes, not wanting to make the promise. “Promise me, Rosa Dawn” 

“Mr. Draco--”   


“Right now, you promise me. I won’t have you be like this all summer--”   


“I’ll go to Mum’s then” if he wasn’t agitated before this did it.

“I’ll leave you with your Father without a second thought if you bring that up again. I will absolutely under no circumstance let you--”   


“Why is it that I don’t have a choice in anything?” Rosa interrupted him. “I understand that as the older male I’m to listen to your word, but this is a personal matter. I can make my own mind, can I not?” Draco was rendered speechless for the moment. “I do not want-- I cannot face my Father. I cannot. I’d rather go to Mum’s” 

“Why?”   


“Because I…” Rosa cut herself off. She couldn’t tell him.

“You promised me the truth” he reminded her.

“Then it seems, Mr. Draco, that you are not alone in getting a hit at your warrior’s pride” 

“You’re unbelievable! Just like that?! You’re going to lie to me, break the vow you have kept close to your heart all these years, just like that?!” Rosa swallowed audibly.

“Yes” this time when Rosa reached for the doorknob, Draco didn’t stop her.

+++

The Hogwarts express pulled over at the platform. Through her new comparment’s window, Rosa noted the Weasley’s and Remus standing by their side, looking nervous. Rosa quickly moved away from the window so that they wouldn’t see her. 

Moving to the cramped hallway she met up with Draco. Together, they went to grab their trunks. On the platform, Rosa was the one to grab Draco’s wrist to usher him away from the crowd. Whatever she tried to do, Draco made sure to be slow, only to get a reaction from her. She didn’t give him one. 

“Rosa!” the familiar voice called her through the loud hassle, and her hand squeezed Draco’s wrist a bit tighter. Remus’ voice came from behind. 

“Draco, I can’t face him” Rosa said, knowing that Remus was still further away. He stopped, and pried Rosa’s hand off of his wrist. 

“Wait here” Draco commanded, turning around straight to Remus. He made sure to walk far enough that Rosa couldn’t hear their conversation.

“Sir” he greeted the older wizard.

“Malfoy. What are you doing with my daughter?” his tone was defensive; every now and then he turned his eyes to Rosa, making sure that she was still there. 

“I’m taking her to France” he answered truthfully. Remus’ eyebrows shot to his hairline.   


“France?” 

“Yes, my family has a safehouse--”   


“Absolutely not, boy” Remus shot him a glare.

“She would be safe--”   


“No” Remus said with finality. “She’ll go with me”

“Does she want to do that? It went so well last time” Remus’ glare turned deadly.

“Now, boy, you are talking about my child, if I were you I would be pretty damn careful” 

“Sir, I know you don’t trust me, but… she’ll be safe, I promise you that. Her mother will not see her at all, and I will make sure she won’t be harmed” Remus was now vary, Draco’s expression was genuine “She’ll come to your safehouse for couple of days in August. Our house is connected to the Floo. I’ll make sure she’ll come to you when it’s not safe with me”   


“How can I know it’s safe?” Remus asked, trying to get out of his head.

“It’s just me and her. My parents won’t be around, we have wards around the House. She’ll be safe, sir, if anything happens to her you can kill me yourself. You’ll be able to owl her, I’ll make sure she reads everything you write.” 

“Why are you doing all this?” Draco took a moment, turning to look at Rosa, who had not moved an inch. He locked eyes with Remus.

“I love her” he said, voice not as confident as it was before. Remus’ mouth opened in surprise slightly. “Not the way you think. She’s my best friend, my only proper friend, I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to her” Remus let out a frustrated sigh.

“She told me your reserved to be married” he stated.

“It’s only to keep her out of the market for the duration of the war. Depending on who wins… if you lose, sir, she’ll be safe married to me. If you win… we won’t be getting married. And she’ll be safe with someone else” 

“Why is it that she is not here telling all this to me herself?” 

“I can’t tell you that. She’s been… off… since the last Hogsmeade visit. She just told me that she couldn’t face you” Remus noticed immediately that Draco wasn’t telling him the whole truth. He glanced to Rosa.

“In one week, I want to see you two in Diagon Alley. I need to know that she’s safe” 

“Yes, sir” 

“If I see one scratch on her, I will kill you right then and there. She’s my life, do you understand that, Malfoy?”

“Yes, sir” 

“I will make sure to tie you to a tree during the full moon, boy.” 

“Understood, sir” 

“And right now, I’m going to greet my daughter, no matter what she tells you” with that, Remus brushed by Draco and walked straight to Rosa who was still standing there, staring into nothingness, waiting. 

“Rosa” he touched her shoulders gently. She took a shaky breath, not meeting his eyes. 

“Remus” she said, monotone.

“Do you trust this boy?” he asked, shooting a glare at Draco. Rosa nodded. “If he hurts you--”   


“He won’t”

“--you will floo to the safehouse immediately, do you understand me? I do not like this plan one bit. Also, Malfoy, if she comes back to me with a Mark on her forearm, I swear to God--”   


“I won’t” Rosa butted in. “I’m able to take care of myself, Remus. I can make my own choices. Mum said I could go, and you are not my guardian”  

Remus took a step back. “Who do you want to be your guardian?” Rosa saw her opportunity there. Sure, this was a dream come true; she had always dreamed of having one of her parents at the platform. But now she had the opportunity to push him away once and for all. To keep him from being in danger or hurting because of her. It was an opportunity to make Remus hate her. Rosa took it. She locked their eyes.

“If I had the choice, I wouldn’t want to be guarded by a person that abandoned his child to another, and who constantly lies and who’s literally marrying just to fill a hole in his heart, regretting his previous decisions--” 

“Rosa--”   
“--and one who is the one that took away from me the family I always fantasized about. And trust. And safety. And love. All of which I can’t feel anymore, no matter how hard I try. Why would I want to be guarded by such a monster who I have only the utmost hatred towards?” 

“You don’t mean that” was his only response. Rosa took a shaky breath.

“Cross my heart, hope to die” the look on Remus’ face was of the utmost defeat. Rosa was keeping her emotions in control, whilst Draco was staring at her, waiting for a reaction. “Draco, let’s go” Rosa’s voice broke. 

“Remember what I told you, Malfoy” Remus tried to glare at the boy, but his sadness had taken over. Rosa saw him swat the skin underneath his eye. 

“Draco. Now.” Rosa could feel her eyes welling up. She had made her own Father cry. 

“I’ll see you in August, Rosa” Remus turned, skipping over the ‘I love you’ he would’ve normally said. Rosa was successful. 

“Let’s go. Please” 

+++

When they stepped through the fireplace to the fancy villa, Rosa was fidgeting with her fingers. The living room was quite small compared to what one would expect from a Malfoy estate. It was still sizeable, windows everywhere. Rosa saw the sunny evening outside, the sea and the beach just there. 

“Toilet?” Rosa asked as Draco dragged through both of their trunks from the green flames. Draco looked at her, curious. She was trying to keep herself together, but slowly her mask was crumbling.

“Let go, Rosa. Be upset” Draco just said, frustration evident in his voice. Rosa huffed in anger and ran out of the living room, looking for privacy. Opening ever door she could find until she found the toilet, Rosa locked the door manually as well as with a locking charm. She let herself go for a moment. Sitting on the toilet lid, forcing her emotions down.  

_ Father is crying because of you. _

_ Down. _

_ Sirius is dead because of you. _

_ Down. _

_ The muggle your Mother killed is dead because you wouldn’t comply. _

_ Down. _

_ Father doesn’t love you anymore.  _

_ Down. _

_ You lied to everyone. _

_ Down. _

_ Father is safe. _

_ You are safe here. _

Rosa pushed everything down, every bit of sadness she tried to fill with the feeling of safety. She couldn’t feel that truly, but she sure could try. 

There were three knocks on the door. 

“Rosa Dawn?” Draco asked, leaning to the wall next to the toilet door. 

“Yeah?” her voice was steady again.

“Dinner” 

Rosa unlocked the door, making sure to flush the toilet, so that Draco would at least try to believe her motives in locking herself into the room. He checked her from head to toe.

“What’re we eating?” Rosa asked, her eyes on her feet.

“Look at me” Draco commanded. She complied. “He will forgive you” she averted her eyes immediately. “You’re being insufferable” she didn’t give a reaction to his insult.

“What’re we eating?” she just asked.

“Merlin, Rosa” Draco just exclaimed breathily, and walked off. 

Rosa stared at the back of his head. Watching as another person left her. She felt a pain in her chest.

“Draco?” she called for him. He turned around immediately, waiting. “I-- I... “ she looked down. “Please don’t-- I’m trying-- Just don’t leave me” even though there was barely no expression on her face and her voice was monotone, Draco’s face softened slightly. 

“You remember when you made me promise to tell you if someone was hurting me?” Rosa nodded. “And you remember yesterday when you said that if you were like this, no one could hurt you, and you could hurt no one?” She nodded once more. “It fucking hurts” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!
> 
> Leave a bookmark/comment/kudos, or just have a wonderful day!!


	28. Splitting It Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got this done a bit quicker, yey~ I'm especially liking the beginning of this chapter, I hope you like it too!

_ “It fucking hurts!” Draco shouted somewhere in the distance, his screams filling the air together with someone’s menacing cackling. Rosa’s breath hitched as she took in her surroundings.  _

_ They were in the Ministry, Rosa alone trying to find her way through the maze of the corridors. Her way was only illuminated by the Lumos charm on the tip of her wand.  There were predictions everywhere, the exact ones the youngest Weasley had knocked down on their last visit. The crystal orbs were giving her minimal lighting, the darkness becoming more and more pressing as she went on. Motivated by Draco’s screams she ran. _

_ Desperately Rosa tried to follow the sound of Draco’s agony, only to be met by one dead end after the other. She violently did a 180, just to be faced by Sirius. Draco’s screams stopped.  _

_ Well, this man surely looked like Sirius but was far more… dead. He was thin, bones sticking up everywhere, Rosa didn’t know how he was able to stand. His robes were dirty with mud and sand like he had just crawled out of his grave. And his eyes… they were glazed over, almost white, no soul behind them. Yet he was breathing.   _

_ “You killed me” Rosa felt her chest heave. “Your own godfather” the wizard said, his voice empty of the warmth Rosa remembered to be in it. His skin was greyish, and moldy. _

_ Noticing another figure behind Sirius, she back up until her back faced the wall. The man came into view underneath Rosa’s charm. It was the muggle. He was looking just like Sirius; dead but walking.  _

_ “I’m dead because of you” the Muggle said, monotone and empty.  _

_ “P-please…” Rosa could only whimper out in the midst of her fear. The men weren’t threatening her in any way; if they were to attack Rosa could easily take them down since they were so frail. But the accusations were enough to spike immense fear and guilt into her.  _

_ She saw another figure walking towards them. She shook her head when she saw the unmistakable shine of blonde hair. It couldn’t be.  _

_ Draco, his black suit dusty and dirty, blood soaking his skin. His blonde hair grey and disheveled, stopped right behind Sirius to bore his glazed eyes to hers. His cheekbones were out in an unhealthy way, his wrist had no meat on top. His beauty was gone only to be replaced by this ugly shadow of himself. He looked dead, just like the two other men. _

_ “Draco…” Rosa whispered, not able to avert her eyes from the dead man walking. _

_ “You did this to me” dead-Draco said to her, without a hint of humour. “You broke your promise. And now, I’m dead” There was no signature smirk, no furrow in his brow and no scowl decorating his features, he was completely neutral. “Why did you to this to me, Rosa Dawn? To all of us?” _

_ “D-Draco, you-- you’re not… dead…!” Rosa mumbled through her words, looking at the boy who was such a good friend. Her only friend. Draco started unbuttoning his button up shirt, Rosa noted that his fingertips looked like they were about to fall off.  _

_ Instead of perfectly white skin with no blemish on it like she remembered, Rosa saw Draco’s chest covered in red scars - like her own back was transferred into his stomach.  _

_ Her chest heaving, with her left hand, Rosa touched his chest, right above his heart. He had no heartbeat. _

_ “Dead” Draco said, “Just like the other ones you killed” _

_ “NO!”  _

 

Rosa snapped awake by her own scream. She was hyperventilating, and panicked. She was picking apart her dream. Sirius was dead. The Muggle was dead. Those were facts.  _ Draco. _

She peeled away the duvet from on top of her, and ran out of her room. She didn’t know what time it was, even if she knew she didn’t care. Not knowing where Draco’s room was, since she had barricaded herself into the room he had given her, Rosa frantically opened every single door she could find. 

“DRACO!” she shouted as hysteria took over. She couldn’t find him, damn this house! She rushed upstairs, barging into every single room. She found pantries, laundry rooms, a toilet, a fucking sauna, a bedroom, but no Draco. He was gone. 

“DRACO!!” she shouted again, letting the panic take over once and for all. She knew she was crying and that her face was probably red and that she looked like a proper mess, but she couldn’t care less. 

She ran back down, shouting his name, checking every single room again; no Draco. She did the same upstairs, double checking everything. Draco was not here. 

_ He’s dead. Draco’s dead.  _

_ Alone, you’re alone now. _

_ Dead in a ditch. Because you couldn’t keep a promise. _

_ Draco’s dead. _

It was all that went through Rosa’s head. 

She eventually collapsed on the living room floor, sobbing, crying and shouting his name. Screaming in her agony, she heard a nearby vase explode to tiny pieces, coating the floor with shards of glass. 

Exhaustion started to dawn on her, but she refused it. Her shouts and screams she allowed to turn into mumbled words, but she would not blackout. She clawed at the rug beneath her, feeling the texture of it, keeping herself somewhat sane. 

She didn’t know how long she laid there, tears never drying on her face. Her breath didn’t stabilize. She laid there a mess, for however long, chanting Draco’s name, apologizing to Sirius and her Father as well as the Muggle. Guilt driven she didn’t move, just kept on chanting and weeping.

There was a faint sound of a door opening in the distance. What an irony for a House Elf to show up in her moment of despair. She didn’t even look up. It only should come around with a belt and kill her to make the day worse. There was a thud, something hit the floor.  

“Rosa?” Rosa stiffened immediately. She heard quick footsteps coming her way. “Rosa?!” Rosa lifted her head up, revealing her red and wet face to the blonde boy. Her jaw dropped open. 

“Are you ok? What’s happening?” Draco questioned quickly, not daring to touch her. He kneeled next to her. Rosa’s eyes just stared at him. His eyes were grey, a soul glimmering behind them. His form was filled, thin, but no bones were sticking out. His black trousers were pressed, only a couple of wrinkles on them, and he dark T-shirt he wore didn’t have a speck of dirt on it. 

Rosa suddenly brought her hand to his chest. 

“Rosa--”   


“Shut up” she commanded, waiting to feel his heartbeat.  _ Thump. Thu-Thump. Thump. Thu-Thump.  _ “You’re alive” Rosa said, continuing to fist his T-shirt to feel his heart pumping life into his body. Relief took over Rosa.

“What?” he asked, his brows emoting his confusion. His face was full of it; life.

“You’re alive” she repeated, breathy and tired. She wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed him in. Draco grabbed her, dragging the crying girl onto his lap. She was chanting ‘you are alive’ too many times for him to count. She was latching onto him. 

“Rosa what’s going on?” he asked after a few minutes, letting her get herself together a little more. 

“I-- I had a dream” she told him, whispering into his neck. “Sirius was there and-- and a Muggle that Mum killed… and you-- you were dead too” she tried to explain without bursting into tears again. Draco gave her time. “And I woke up-- and you weren’t here… I thought--”   


“I’m here. I’m alive, Rosa” Draco whispered to her, reassuring her of his very much living self.

“You can’t just disappear-- you can’t-- I was--”   


“I’m here now, Rosa. Breathe for me, will you? Deeply in and out” He breathed in for couple of seconds, waiting for Rosa to follow him. Together, they breathed, slow and deep. Even though Rosa’s breathing was stabilizing, Draco could still feel her shaking in his arms. 

“Rosa. Can I get you a Calming Draught?” he asked gently, but cursed himself after he felt Rosa cling onto him tighter.

“Don’t-- please-- don’t le-leave me” she pleaded, sounding like a pathetic child. Draco sighed and started moving Rosa gently from his lap, but made sure not to touch her hands that were still around his neck. Slipping his hands around her once more, he lifted her up bridal style. 

“I’m he-- heavy” Rosa scolded him, only to be answered with a roll of Draco’s eyes. He walked somewhere, Rosa didn’t have the energy nor the want to look where he was taking her. She could hear his breathing getting more heavy in effort to carry her to their destination.

Only when he lowered her onto a bed, Rosa properly looked around. The bedroom was larger than the one Rosa had for herself. Assuming - after going through the house twice in frantic haste - that they were upstairs in Draco’s bedroom. 

Her tired red eyes went to Draco who sat down next to her, going through the drawer next to his bed. Taking out a potion and uncorking it, he brought it to Rosa lips and letting her swallow all of the contents of the vial. 

Almost immediately Rosa let out a breath, her body relaxing into the mattress. 

“The time?” she asked, not letting her eyes droop closed. Having another dream was not on her to-do list. 

“Around 6 am” he answered. Rosa nodded.

“Why-- where--”   


“Take a nap, Rosa Dawn” this time she shook her head violently. “I won’t go anywhere, I promise” he added, taking her hand in his. 

“No-- I don’t-- dreams-- Where were you?” Rosa didn’t seem to be able to put together her thoughts. After living without letting her emotions take over, they were now roaming free with no control. 

“I couldn’t sleep, I just went to get some food. There’s a wizarding market not too far from here”

“Why-- You can’t leave-- disappear--”

“Breathe. I’m here. I’m alive, Rosa Dawn. Nothing to fear here. Rest your eyes will you?” Draco could see the exhaustion in her; her eyes were closing slowly only for Rosa to force them open. She squeezed his hand.

“I was… so scared that you-- that you were gone… I-- Draco, you can’t… you can’t leave me-- I… I can’t…” she mumbled through her sentences as her eyes dropped close and slumber took over. Draco let through a small smile.

“I love you too, Rosa Dawn… just not the same way you do” 

+++

When Rosa awoke, she was still feeling the speck of fear flowing through her veins. Looking around the empty room, she felt her heartbeat quicken. She noticed another vial on the nightstand, the words ‘Calming Draught’ scribbled to its side. Without a second thought, Rosa downed the potion.

Still the doubt stayed with her, even though her heartbeat stabilized and her breathing became regular. Rosa quickly decided to squash her doubts and fears by the only way that it would be possible; find Draco.

Walking downstairs, Rosa finally started memorizing her surroundings. Living room being open and beautiful, leading her to the hallway that was filled with sunlight. Opening couple doors along the hallway, she found the toilet she had barricaded herself into. Finally she continued forward, finding the opening that lead to the kitchen. 

There he sat, on the small dinner table, the Prophet opened in front of his whilst he sipped his coffee.  

“Draco?” she greeted him as a question. His eyes shot up to her, instantly filled with worry. He stood up from his chair, but couldn’t really find words. Rosa walked up to his and wrapped him up in a tight hug once more.

“Rosa--?”

“Thank you” she said before separating their bodies. She sat down opposite to Draco’s previous spot. Almost immediately after Draco took his spot, an Elf apparated into the kitchen. Rosa flinched violently.

“Malla! Whilst Miss Dawn is here, do not apparate around, is that clear?” Draco scolded the tiny creature. 

“Oh, yes, Lord Draco, Malla’s apologies, Lord Draco. Malla is going to iron--”   


“That’s not necessary, Malla” Rosa butted in. Malla’s large eyes widened in surprise. “Would you like to be a free elf, Malla? Answer honestly, like Draco wasn’t here” Malla’s eyes went to Draco.

“Answer the question honestly, Malla” 

“Malla likes Lord Draco…b-but--”   


“Give her a piece of clothing, Draco.”  Rosa commanded. “I can cook for the rest of the summer” she stared Draco down.

“Rosa Dawn--” Rosa could tell that Draco was about to oppose her.

“Draco, I don’t want an elf around, and I know how your parents treat them. Let her go” Rosa’s voice was commanding and strong. Draco got an idea.

“Are you going to go back to the non-talking, non-reactive bullshit?” he asked. Rosa averted her eyes.

“Are you blackmailing me?” 

“Possibly” 

“That’s not something I have much control over--”   


“Bullshit” 

“I can’t promise you anything” Rosa stated with finality. Draco sighed, frustrated.

“For me” he said. Rosa saw straight through his hypocrisy.

“So you can’t free Malla for me, but I should control my mentality for you?” Rosa spouted at him. Draco groaned, reaching down to take off his sock. With clear anger in his expression he handed it to the small elf. She took it with a large smile on her face. 

“Thank you, Lord Draco! Thank you!” she bowed multiple times before apparating away with a loud pop. Draco turned back to Rosa, fire burning behind his eyes.

“I’m trying here” he said.

“What do you want from me?” Rosa asked, slightly confused, feeling the familiar guilt seeping into her once more.

“I want you to… just stop this bullshit. Where the fuck did you go? Like, you used to call me out, fight me or fucking sar with me what the fuck happened?”

“I went home for Christmas” Rosa said under her breath.

“Why do you think I stay around and take all your bullshit?” his question was serious, he was expecting a matching answer. She shrugged, not giving him one. “You-- You were a good person, a good friend” 

“Were?” Rosa asked, her voice barely a whisper.

“When was the last time I got any support from you? When you were close to the Rosa Dawn that I grew up with and reconnected with in the beginning of the fucking school year? This, whatever the fuck is going on with you, this is not you! Rosa Dawn does not take orders or be submissive, she fucking tells you everything to their face and doesn’t care what others think of her!”

“It didn’t work out so well for me” she said. “I had to change to survive” 

“Split it” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“What?” Rosa asked in confusion.

“Why do you think I’m so different when I’m with you and when I’m with someone else, Rosa Dawn? You have to split it or you’re going to go insane. Trust me, I’m talking from experience, why do you think I started helping you?” Rosa was rendered speechless. “Right now, you’re going insane” 

“How?” Rosa asked, interested by the idea. Draco was surprised by the fact. 

“With me, you’re you. The real you, no matter how cliche that sounds. And with everyone else you can pull your bullshit” 

“But-- what if-- I just don’t want to…--”   


“Feel?” Draco finished it for her. She nodded slightly. “So it’s ok, for you to ‘not feel’ only until I find you on the floor having a mental breakdown?” Rosa’s head dropped in defeat. “Please, Rosa Dawn” 

A short silence fell; Draco gave Rosa some time to get her thoughts together.

“Come on, half breed” he shot at her. “Spar me” he said in a whisper. 

Rosa swallowed audibly.

“I will never hurt you, Rosa Dawn” he reassured her. Rosa looked at him, a bit wary.

“You’re being stupid” she said, it was a juvenile jab, but Draco burst into laughter. Rosa in her turn, looked at him like he was absolutely insane. 

He jumped up from his seat and scooped Rosa up, bringing his hands around her in a warm embrace for the third time that day. Rosa didn’t respond to the touch, still weirded out by his reaction. Draco kept a wide grin on his face.

He pushed her a bit, to look at her dumbfounded face. 

“Welcome back, Rosa Dawn” 

“You’re being weird” 

Draco chuckled, before quickly bringing his lips to her forehead. “I missed you” 

Rosa’s heart skipped a beat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Let me know what you think; leave a kudos/comment/bookmark, or as always just have a fantastic day!!


	29. Touching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!  
> Some scenes in this one that have been in my head for a while now, though in this chapter I mostly wanted to address some flaws in the characters that bothered me. Let me know what you think.  
> Also, as always, thanks to anyone and everyone who's been reading!

Draco was being patient with Rosa even though he was sometimes getting frustrated. They both knew it. Rosa was having a tough time opening up. Whenever she told Draco something, or called him out on whatever, she would cut herself off and retreat to herself.

But Rosa was making an effort, Draco could see that. Even when she backed off she would always show up to lunch or dinner. Just like today, a week after they had arrived, they sat together eating the breakfast Rosa had whipped up. It hadn’t taken long for Rosa to understand that Draco was truly a dreadful cook; she was pretty sure Draco couldn’t boil a potato even if he tried.

“Diagon Alley today” Draco said, munching on a piece of bacon.

Rosa lifted her eyes up from her tea. “What?”

“We’re going to Diagon Alley today” he stated. It wasn’t a request; it was almost like a command.

“W-Why?” Rosa cleared her throat, not wanting him to notice her discomfort.

“I need to go shopping” they both could tell that Draco was lying. “Is there a problem?” he added, trying to drift the conversation to another direction.

Taking a moment and biting her cheek, Rosa made up her mind. “Liar” she started, “Why can’t we go to the market here?” Draco opened his mouth and closed it again. “If I’m honest with you, you’re going to be honest with me”

“You’re father wanted to see you-- no, stop. He doesn’t want to talk to you, just wants to see you, unharmed and functioning. We’re going to go around, shop, and you don’t even have to see him. We’re going just because I don’t want to get killed by him. Also, you should wear short sleeves just in case” he lifted his brows, expecting similar brutal honesty from her.

“I don’t do well in crowds. And I don’t like this. Seeing Remus I don’t like it, and you know it. Can’t I just send him a letter?”

“He threatened to tie me into a tree during the full Moon” Draco said, denying her request.

“Can I-- Calming Draught?” she asked, he nodded. “And don’t-- I don’t want you to leave me in the crowd. Like… I just don’t want to be alone, no matter how pathetic that sounds”

“I won’t leave you. We have to act like a couple anyway. There will be purebloods about”

“Okay… and… I don’t talk to Remus”

“Okay” he said shrugging.

“And you’re buying me Fortescue's” Draco only laughed at that.

+++

Fuck Fridays in Diagon Alley. The little alley was filled with witches and wizards, together with all the vendors. Rosa was clutching onto Draco’s arm as he led her through the crowd. She had to remind herself to keep her mask on and not let herself go like she had done in the past week.

Their first stop was at Flourish and Blotts where Rosa went through the potions section. Draco was more interested in the Dark Arts section, but kept his promise by waiting for Rosa to choose her shopping first, staying by her side at all times. They both found some books for themselves.

They stopped by the Quidditch shop after Draco insisted for far too long; Rosa was never a big fan of the sport. She was a quite talented flyer, but didn’t find much enjoyment in it. And of course, Draco didn’t end up buying anything (‘Father can get better from Knockturn’ was his excuse). As they stepped out of the shop, they almost literally bumped into Remus and Tonks. Rosa’s eyes widened immediately.

“Rosa” the wizard greeted in surprise. His eyes went to the necklace around Rosa’s neck; the Lupin family heirloom. Rosa quickly put the pendant under her collar, but she knew that the damage had been done. He would see through her lies. She cursed at herself in her mind, squeezing Draco’s arm.

She kept her face down, knowing that Remus was assessing her. That he was indeed doing; his eyes going straight to her exposed left forearm after the first shock leviated. He noted that there wasn’t a scratch on the girl.

Whilst Remus was doing his little assessment, Rosa’s mind was flooded by their last encounter, what she had told him, how she had destroyed their relationship. Dooming guilt was looming over her once more. She took a breath, getting her thoughts together.

“Can we continue, Mr. Draco?” she asked with her perfect fake smile, slipping her mask firmly back on. Draco nodded, giving a look to Remus trying to convey that everything was okay. Remus simply glared at him.

“How are you Rosa?” he asked. Rosa didn’t answer. “I’m expecting you to answer my letters”

Without acknowledging either of the older wizards, Rosa pushed Draco a bit to lead them probably towards the ice cream shop. “Can we just go home, please?” Rosa asked, pleading. Draco nodded, and turned his course towards the Leaky Cauldron where they could do international Floo from. Rosa noted all the wanted posters that were glued onto the fireplace.

When they finally made it back to France, Rosa ripped her necklace, breaking the chain holding the pendant. She threw it to the ground in anger and hopped onto the couch to sulk. Draco grabbed the pendant from the floor, eyebrows raised at Rosa’s behaviour.

He looked at the pendant that was turning black in his hands. “What is this, Rosa Dawn?”

“Lupin family heirloom” Rosa spat out. “I’m such an idiot, I never take it off-- I knew he was there-- and he saw me wearing it-- Fuck” Rosa ranted.

“It’s turning black”

“Yeah. You’re half Black, aren’t you? And Malfoy, whatever that means, is somewhere in there. It shows you your ancestry. When I hold it I see a wolf howling at dawn”

“ _Reparo_ ” Draco fixed the chain,  walked up to Rosa, and fastened the piece of jewelry around Rosa’s neck. “You wear it everyday, that shouldn’t change” Rosa’s eyes went to the floor.

“You’re too good to me” she whispered under her breath.

Draco shook his head with the remnant of a smile upon his lips. “I’m waiting for you to repay the favor” he whispered, barely audible. Rosa heard him loud and clear.

“How can I do that?”  Rosa asked, making sure to elevate her previous volume. Draco put a proper smirk on his face.

“You can whip up that casseroll stuff for lunch” Rosa scoffed.

“How about for once you’d help me with it?”

“Get up and tech me then”

Surprisingly, Draco was able to peel carrots the muggle way, which was how Rosa preferred to cook. Whilst he was doing his duties, Rosa was concentrating on her knife dicing onions. It was more fun this way and the blonde boy somehow made through the carrots without a single complaint about her methods.

“What now?” As Rosa turned her head to Draco to make sure his work was done properly, her knife slipped. Rosa reacted but too late; the knife sliced to her palm. Blood was quickly starting to drip onto the cutting board and on top of the half-cut onion.

Draco was running to get some tissue, whilst Rosa stood there frozen, staring at the clen cut on her hand.

Pain.

Actual pain was radiating around the cut. Rosa gasped.

With her other hand, she pressed her fingers right onto the cut, more blood oozing out and the pain intensifying. The cut was pulsating, her whole hand feeling every touch Rosa gave to it. Rosa took a shivering breath.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Draco shrieked after finally locating the tissue paper and seeing what Rosa was doing to herself.

He pushed her now bloodied fingers away from the cut and wiped away some of the blood. With his free hand, he started digging his jean pocket, getting his wand out to heal the cut.

“D-Don’t” Rosa said, voice breathy and weak.

“What?” he asked, confused. He kept on pointing the wand at the cut.

“Pain” she just said.

“ _Episkey. Tergeo_ ” Draco incantated, not caring for her statement. The split mended itself and the blood was quickly gone. Draco identified the expression on Rosa’s face to be disappointment.

She touched the mended skin with the same pressure she did before, only this time she only faintly felt her own touch. She pressed harder. Harder. Until her nails were digging into her palm, seeking the feeling she just experienced.

“Rosa. Stop.” Draco took both of Rosa’s hands into his.

“B-but--”

“I know. It’s not worth hurting yourself” Rosa took another shivering breath. “How much feeling do you have?”

“I’m scared that…” Rosa stopped herself.

“That?” Draco encouraged.

“That I’ll end up in a wheelchair because I can’t feel my legs anymore” she confessed.

“Close your eyes?” he asked. She trusted him, so she followed his request. “Tell me when you feel me touching you” Rosa nodded as Draco let go of her hands.

She flinched when she felt Draco’s hands on her forearms. “I won’t hurt you” he reminded her.

“I know, I just… I can’t help the flinching”

“Can you feel them both?” he asked. She answered with a nod. He kept on going. Rosa jumped slightly when she felt his hands squeezing her upper arms.

“Both?”

“Yeah” Rosa’s voice broke slightly. “Draco, I don’t like this” she added.

“You’re okay, Rosa Dawn” Rosa felt her hair moving.

“I’m assuming that you’re hand is on my cheek. My hair moved” she said with a small sniffle. Fingertips grazed her lips. Rosa gasped slightly.

“Yeah?” nodding yes to his question, she felt her hair moving again, until she felt nothing.

For a long while.

She only heard Draco’s steady breathing.

“Draco?” she asked, afraid. Rosa felt a reassuring squeeze on her hip; which made her instantly jump in surprise.

“Your back and torso” he explained.

“You-- you didn’t touch my-- you know--”

“I did not grope you, Rosa” she heard a tiny hint of amusement in his tone. Quickly after, Rosa flinched once more when Draco’s hands curled around her ankles.

“Both” Rosa stated before Draco could ask. His hands glided up until they stopped at her calves. “I felt all of that” His hands went up. “Stop” Rosa said, when his hands made it to her lower thighs and her heart wanted to leap out of her throat. “Both. Quite clearly. Is that everything?” she blurred out quickly.

“Yeah. Open your eyes” she did. “You won’t be stopping walking anytime soon. Your legs are fine. You can still feel yours fingers fine, yeah?” as if to find his answer as soon as possible he took her previously hurt left hand onto his, questioning.

“Not as well as I did before, but I feel it” she confirmed. Draco took a couple of seconds too long before letting her hand go. “Thanks”

“Anytime. But we should monitor everything. Any theories as to why you felt the cut--”

“Cruciatus attacks the nerves on top of the skin… I’m assuming that the nerves deeper in my skin are… not damaged yet” Draco nodded in approval.

“I say we do checks every two weeks to check if it gets worse or better” Rosa immediately shook her head.

“Draco, I… I don’t like you nursing me… if that makes sense” Draco looked at her, confused and waiting for a better explanation. “Like… when Sirius died… or when I-- anyway… and… and last week when I had that dream-- or even before when I had the other dream at Hogwarts… and when you did the pranks on me you were always there” she went on listing examples.

“And you don’t want me there anymore, is that it?” Draco’s tone was defensive, almost offended.

“No! It’s just… I feel… like this is something I should take care of myself. I don’t want to be the damsel in distress all the time, it makes me feel… _weak_ ”

“Oh”

“Does that make sense? Or at least let me help you with something--”

“It’s okay, I get it” he said, nodding. “Though I’m not really sure how--”

“Also, could you just spar me a couple of times here and there?”

“What?”

“You’re being too kind. Almost fakely so, it’s too out of character for you” Draco diverted his eyes. “I’m right, aren’t I? You promised to be honest with me, Draco” she was almost pleading now.

He exhaled sharply and bit his lip for a moment before opening his mouth to speak, “Fine, congrats, you caught me” he rolled his eyes sarcastically. “Is it wrong of me to want to correct my past wrongs?”

“Past wr-- No, it’s not. But if you want the real me here… then I want the same from you. You don’t need to help me with every single little thing. Sure, my situation is shitty, but… I don’t want you to go against your--”

“What if I want to be kind to you? Or help you? Do you really think that I would-- you know what fuck it. You’re being stupid right now”

“Okay” Rosa nodded, taking in the insult. “Tell me why”

“Because I want to help you, that’s not something I would fake. Sure, I’m being careful around y--” he cut himself off.

“It’s not like you not to speak your mind. Tell me” Rosa insisted.

“I’m being careful around you so that you don’t retreat back to that bullshit you like to pull off. Or… break down like you did a week ago. Happy?” he practically growled at her, his signature scowl on his face. Rosa nodded.

“Good to have you back” she smirked slightly. “I missed you” she quoted him from before. He rolled his eyes.

“I’m not stopping--”

“I’d just like a bit more… independence? I don’t want to rely on you 24/7. I mean look at me in Diagon today. I couldn’t’ve gone if you weren’t there with me. How pathetic is that”

“Quite” Rosa’s eyes widened slightly at his honesty. “What?”

“I’ll try to be better”

“How about you take small steps instead of literally killing yourself in the process by walking into a crowd alone?” Rosa just huffed at him, but gave him a small smile.

+++

“What are you reading?” Draco asked after dinner, walking into Rosa’s little room with two cups of tea in his hands. Rosa’s eyes snapped up at him in surprise. She did reach her hand out for the cup in his left hand almost automatically though.

Sipping, she didn’t give him an answer. “Come on, tell me” Draco sat down onto her desk, now towering over her whilst she sat cross legged on the wooden chair.

“About werewolves” she said nonchalantly. “Found it in one of the shelves” she explained like it was the most obvious thing for her to read.

“Why?” he asked. Since her Father was one, Draco knew that Rosa knew pretty much everything about the creatures.

“Just wanted to check if there is an easy way to kill one” Rosa didn’t dare to look what Draco’s reaction was when he realized that she wasn’t joking. “Small steps, right?” She added, completely devoid of humour. Draco grabbed the book from her hands and laid it onto the table.

“Explain, Rosa Dawn… are you planning on--”

“Not my Father” she cut him off, wanting to squash those thoughts immediately. He spread his arms, waiting for an explanation. “Greyback” she just said.

“Why him?” Rosa bit her cheek.

“I saw he’s free now. His wanted poster was in Diagon Alley…” she huffed in anger. “When my Father was four, Greyback bit him on a full Moon. My grandfather had offended him and werewolves and Greyback sought to take his revenge. He turned my Father into a monster” Draco noticed how Rosa’s face contorted into an ugly scowl filled with loathing. “I hate him. Greyback. My Father had to endure-- he was so lonely before Hogwarts-- it’s ridiculous-- and it was all this Death Eater’s fault! And now he’s roaming free. Just killing and… I hate him so much, Draco” Rosa ranted.

“You say all that whilst you refuse to even say hello to Lupin”

“You always say that if you had the chance you would kill my Mother, because she hurt me. Why is it wrong of me to want to kill someone who hurt my Father?” Rosa’s eyes were darkening in a way Draco hated.

“Because the last time you killed someone--”

“Don’t” Rosa cut him off promptly. “That man-- he has done enough to hurt my family-- I…”

“Do you think you could live with yourself if you took another life, only this time willingly?”

“If I come face to face with him-- I hate him so much, Draco” she huffed.

“That doesn’t mean that you should kill him, Rosa” Rosa bowed her head down in defeat and shame. Draco took out his wand and pointed it at the book. “ _Incendio_ ” the book immediately burst into flames.

“What do you want me to do when the Dark Lord orders me to kill someone?” Draco’s eyes darkened at the mere idea. “Don’t act like it’s not going to happen”

“I have a plan when that happens” he simply answered but didn’t give any details. Rosa raised her bows, expecting for him to do just that.

“Care to share that with the class?”

Draco wanted to smile at Rosa’s jab. He refused himself that pleasure. “Let’s just say that you won’t be taking any major orders from the Dark Lord” he just said.

“Why aren’t you telling me?” Rosa scowled.

“Because you won’t like it”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. _Aguamenti_ ” she put the fire out on the table. She decided to stomp out of the room, not wanting to have this stupid conversation again. She barricaded herself into the kitchen, where she doubted Draco would follow her; it was her little plan to spend the night there anyways. And maybe a part of her was frustrated because she knew that he was right.

 

Draco on the other hand was scowling, annoyed where Rosa’s and his relationship was at the moment. Instead of running after her, he reminded himself of their conversation they had earlier that day. If she didn’t want help, so be it. Quickly he decided on just spend the rest of the day in his own room reading one of the books he bought from Diagon.

Couple hours later, he knew he was lying to himself for not worrying about Rosa. He knew that if he were a Gryffindor, or if she wanted him to act like a Gryffindor, he would’ve gone down to cuddle herself to sleep, let her cry against his shoulder. Apparently she didn’t want that - she didn't want a gentleman. Which raised the question in Draco’s head; what did she want?

His thoughts were rudely interrupted by the three knocks on his door. He closed the book he had in his hands and spoke with elevated volume; “What is it?”

“Can I come in?” Rosa’s voice was muffled behind the wooden door.

With a sigh, Draco answered, “Sure, whatever” the latter word being too quiet for Rosa to hear. His uninterested facade was broken immediately when he saw Rosa behind the door.

She had a large, genuine smile on her face and in the darkness of the evening, her face was only illuminated by the candles that stood proudly on top of the cake in her hands.

She took careful steps towards him as she shyly sang, “ _Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday, you little bastard~_ ” they both laughed at that. “ _Happy birthday to you~~_ ” She brought the messily iced cake to him, sitting carefully next to him. “Make a wish before the wax melts on the cake”

Draco could only stare at the girl with a softened expression. After couple of seconds of staring, he blew the candles.

“ _Accio_ Present” Couple seconds passed before a small little gift box landed on Rosa’s hand. Draco enchanted the ceiling lamp on, giving the room more light. Rosa handed the box to him. He immediately started unwrapping it. Whilst he did so, Rosa was blurting out words in her nervousness. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted. But… I thought you’d like it… I mean, I know you can’t really use it in a real game…”

Out of the box Draco took out a silver snitch. “It has the-- the Slytherin crest engraved to it and the Malfoy family crest on the other side… I know it’s not regulation one or something great you can get from Knockturn--”

“It’s beautiful” Draco cut her off, letting the little silver ball fly in the air in between them.

“Happy birthday, Draco”

“Thank you, Rosa Dawn” Draco’s gratefulness was genuine. Their eyes locked. Draco’s eyes shifted to her lips for a fraction of a second, before he gathered himself and cleared his throat. “Cake?” he wanted, no needed, a distraction, fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff extravaganza! (I wonder why I'm loading you guys with fluff ;) )  
> Let me know what you thought!!
> 
> Leave a bookmark/kudos/comment, or just have a fantastic day!! 
> 
> AND THANKS FOR READING LOVELIES!


	30. On Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! 30 CHAPTERS DAMN!  
> This is an important chapter for me, that's why it took so damn long to write (the next chapter will be the same, sorry about that). Anyways, it's a bit longer than the past two so yay to that. Hope you enjoy it!

Two months flew by too fast for Rosa’s liking. Her and Draco explored the area and managed to go to Diagon a couple times - only then they actually made it to the ice cream shop; Draco was able fulfill his previous promise to buy her a scoop. 

Rosa spent most of her time in the living room or the beach, going through the ridiculous amount of books the villa housed. Draco loomed around, doing pretty much the exact same thing, though some days he gave Rosa her space. Although Rosa appreciated it, she started noticing Draco seeming more and more pale and nervous as the days went on. Maybe Draco was the one who needed the space.

There was a weird unsaid something between them, on both sides. There were awkward glances and conversations where neither of them were honest with the other. But not once did either of them address their weird friendship. 

Remus sent letters, none of which Rosa answered to. He had stopped apologizing and every letter notably didn’t end in ‘I love you’. But what hurt Rosa the most was the way he started signing his letters.

 

__    - Remus _ _

 

Not Dad, not Father, just Remus. Maybe seeing the Lupin family heirloom around her neck didn’t have the effect Rosa originally thought it had. Maybe it was one of his plots to get Rosa to testify in the upcoming custody battle. Rosa did not know. The thing she knew, was that no matter what his intentions were, his behaviour was hurting her.

She had wanted this. This was her goal; having her own Father estranged so that Voldemort couldn’t get to him. And Voldemort  _ would _ get to him if he was close to her. Those were facts. So it didn’t matter if it hurt. At least Remus would be safe.

Now, early August, Rosa looked at Draco, absolutely void of colour, and cold sweat gathering on his brow. He was lounging on one of the couches attempting to look relaxed though his body was stiff.

Rosa huffed in annoyance. She walked up to him, putting her hand onto her forehead. Another huff left her throat. “I can’t tell if you have a fever or not” she just said, scowling at the boy. He swatted her hand away. “You’re basically shaking, Draco”   


“I’m fine” he said.

“Don’t lie to me, Draco Malfoy!” Rosa exclaimed. “You’ve been getting worse for couple weeks now, don’t act like I wouldn’t know--”   


“You’re going the Order Headquarters today” he cut her off. Rosa froze. 

“N-no?” 

“Yes, you are” 

Rosa shook her head, “That’s not for you to decide” Draco stood up so that their eyes were level. He looked almost manic, the dark circles underneath his eyes pronounced and clear. He started resembling the dead-Draco who Rosa saw in her dream. 

She swallowed audibly, bringing her hand to his chest, checking for his heartbeat. It was there. “Had to make sure” she explained, bringing her hand down quickly. Draco’s face softened slightly; he had woken Rosa up multiple times a week whenever she had a nightmare.

“Rosa, go to the Headquarters today. You’d come back in the morning. Please” his voice was full of pleading concern. 

“What’s happening Draco?” 

“It’s to make sure that you’re safe” 

“What’s happening?! Tell me.” he didn’t answer. “Now!” she commanded. 

He brought his hand to her cheek. “Look at me” 

“Don’t manipulate me, Draco” Rosa met his eyes with her own.

“Please. I promise I’ll be here waiting for you when you return”   


“Where will you go?” Rosa asked. “Please, I need to know--”   


“My parents will visit today. I just want you to be safe, Rosa Dawn” Rosa knew it was a lie, maybe not consciously, but deep in her heart she did. But looking into her pleading eyes, Rosa decided to believe him. She nodded, sealing her fate. “Can you manage to leave in fifteen?” Rosa’s jaw dropped.

“As in minutes?” he nodded as an answer. “What do I need with me?” 

“Wand, a fresh pair of clothes. That’s about it”   


“Is-- Is Remus waiting for me?” 

Draco looked down, second guessing his answer. “He knows your coming some time this month. He doesn’t have a specific date” 

“Should I even ask how you managed--”   


“You shouldn’t. Just pack and go” Rosa sighed, but decided to take his word for it, no matter how stupid it made her feel. She packed her packback, not wanting to drag her whole trunk to the Burrow. T-shirt and underwear was all she took with her, and against all her being she took off her necklace and left it on the desk. 

Walking downstairs as slowly as she could, Rosa was not excited to leave. Draco was waiting for her in the living room, his slightly shaking hands holding a bowl of floo powder. 

“What if I go somewhere else? Like if I take a room in Leaky--”   


“Please, Rosa. Just do this, go see your Father” 

“I’m making this clear to you, I’m doing this for you. No other reason”   


“Okay” he just said, offering the bowl to her. Taking a deep breath, she took a handful. 

“Cover your ears. You shouldn’t know where the the Headquarters is” Draco nodded. Rosa stepped into the fireplace.

“Draco?” she called for him before he had the chance to put his hands to his ears. He just waited for her to continue. “You’ll be here when I come back in the morning?”   


“Yes” his tone was sure and strong.

“Cross your heart?” Draco actually sent her a kind smile.

“Hope to die, Rosa Dawn” with that, he put his hands to his ears to block all sound.

“The Burrow” Rosa said clearly and dropped the powder to her feet. The green flames took over, swirled around her, her body felt like she was in a whirlwind before they all disappeared extremely quickly as the living room of what she expected to be the Burrow - after all, she had never been there before. 

There were footsteps belonging to multiple people running towards the living room. Before she had the chance to properly step out of the fireplace, she had multiple wands pointed at her; Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus, Tonks, the Golden Trio and pretty much every Weasley child flooded the room, each one’s wand aiming at Rosa’s heart. Rosa looked at Remus, a fling of fear in her eyes. He didn’t bring his wand down.

“What did I say to you when I came to the hospital wing to check on you?” he asked. Rosa shrugged.

“How am I supposed to remember that?” her question confused the whole group.

“What did I give you for your birthday this year?” he asked another question for some reason. Rosa looked down.

“Why don’t you just blast me with the Cruciatus--?” she asked.

“What. Did. I. Give. You?” he asked very clearly. Rosa had never seen her father so unsure before.

“A photo. Toddler-me in your arms, both of us happy. You give a kiss to my cheek. You wrote that it was the one thing you thought of when you conjured your patronus” when Remus dropped his wand, every single other person did the same, sighing in relief. 

Remus walked to her assessing her once more from head to toe, before kissing her cheek gently and giving her a tiny hug. Rosa flinched slightly and refused to put her hands around his father.

“I’m just staying the night” she said when Remus took a step back.

“Why?” the question came from Potter himself, who still hadn’t put his wand down. “Aren’t you having a good time wherever you escaped to?” he practically spat his name out. Rosa shot him a glare to him that stunned him slightly. She went to open her mouth but Mrs. Weasley cut her off promptly.

“Have you had any lunch, dear?” Always so damn hospitable. 

“I’m quite alright, Mrs. Weasley” she said, trying to act like she would in a pureblood gathering. She thought that keeping her slurs and rudeness to a minimum was the best way to go. In other words, she held herself back a bit. If she was to get through the day in the Burrow she would have to keep Remus at a distance and for everyone else she would try to stay as impassive as possible.

“Show us your forearm” Potter butted in once more. Remus actually growled at the boy. “It’s the only way we can actually trust her!” he explained himself, lifting his hands up in innocence. 

With a scowl, Rosa rolled up her shirt’s sleeves, showing off her pale but slightly scarred forearms. Raising her eyebrows challengingly, Rosa didn’t break eye contact with Potter, who now looked like he was regretting his words.

“Would you like a tour?” Mrs. Weasley offered to break the awkward moment.

Rosa turned on a smile, facing Mrs. Weasley once more “That would be most helpful, thank you”

“Remus, would you? Bill, would you mind if she shared your room?” Rosa turned to a ginger man with better posture than Rosa’s mother had, but he seemed more effortless. The man nodded with a small grin.

“Fleur won’t like it, but I doubt she’ll start hitting on me. She can take the bed”

“Thank you, William” Rosa said, biting down not to send a heckle at him.

“Friends call me Bill” the wizard stated. 

Rosa couldn’t help herself. “Well, we’re not friends, are we, William?” Rosa turned to Remus, who cocked his head towards the dodgy staircase for her to follow him. Reluctantly she followed the wizard, to the first room on the second floor. Remus opened the door for her, letting her step into the small room first.

“I haven’t received any answers to my letters” He stated. Closing the door behind him and basically trapping Rosa in. 

“Draco made me read them, but there was no condition in answering them” 

“I waited for an answer. I told you that in Diagon Alley, Rosa! I get worried--”   


“You shouldn’t” she cut him off. 

A silence fell as Rosa threw her backpack down to the creaky wooden floor.

“You think not wearing the necklace makes me believe that you don’t care about us?” Remus suddenly spoke out, clearing his mind. “I see through you no matter--”

“There’s no need to make a big speech, Remus. My views have not changed, and I will tell my thoughts on your kind again again  if you want me to. I know you’ve already giving up. When I’m here you don’t need to pretend for me. I’m just glad you stopped lying in your letters. Now you only have to do the same when we’re face to face”

“Very well then. Live in lies. Don’t you remember that you told us You-Know-Who is threatening everyone?!”

“It was a lie” Rosa quickly butted in.

“I’ll be waiting when you decide to crawl your way back. Oh, and uh… I won’t ask you to testify in the trial. You’ll get to just sit and watch” with that, Remus left the room, making sure not to close the door completely as he did so. It was a big enough crack for her to vaguely hear the arguments about her downstairs. 

“She’s dangerous--” “She’s a child--” “So are we! She’s on the other side! She’s practically a Death Eater!” “Don’t you ever. Ever. Call my daughter that” “Remus, you I have to be honest, I don’t like her being here” “SHE’S NOT A BAD PE--!” 

Rosa decided to close the door to block their argument from her ears. She sat on William’s bed, it let out a creak. She cursed herself for not taking something to entertain herself with.

There was a sudden knock on her door, after which the door opened. Tonks stepped into the room, closing the door soundlessly behind her. 

“What--”

“How are you doing?” she cut Rosa off before she could start protesting. 

Rosa scoffed. “Never fucking better. You were sent here to keep watch, weren’t you?” 

“I was” Tonks answered honestly. “They’re actually debating over using Veritaserum on you” Rosa paled before Tonks could explain further, “Their first priority is safety, you must understand that” 

“Everyone’s such a hypocrite here!” Rosa exclaimed under her breath. “What makes you any better than the other side?”   


“Are you seriously asking that question? We’re in war. Both sides do things they regret” 

Rosa rolled her eyes with a sarcastic smile, “So, you’re just going to stand there and let them so what you say they’ll eventually regret when you could prevent that feeling?” 

“Your Father will let them give you Veritaserum over his dead body and they all know it. I just came because I thought you’d like company. Also, I’m technically on duty so I should follow orders the Weasley’s give me” she walked to sit on the bed next to Rosa. “So… let’s have some girl talk”

“Girl talk? Do we have to?” Rosa grimaced. 

“Come on! I’m your Dad’s future wife, I want to know you” 

“What if I don’t?”   


“Then I’ll just tell you about my sex life” Rosa nearly vomited right then and there. Tonks only laughed happily. 

“That’s basically blackmailing… What even is girl talk?” her voice was monotone and bored, Rosa now moving to lounge on the bed. 

“Any boys--”   


“Other subject” 

“Your Moth--”

“Other subject”

“Hogwarts drama?” Rosa though for a moment.

“Nothing interesting” Tonks nodded, not faced with her unwillingness to talk.

“Would you like to talk about Sirius?” Rosa’s answer didn’t come, her face turned to neutral quickly. “I hope you know it wasn’t your fault”

“Yes, it was”

“He would be dead even if you weren’t there, Rosa”

“Don’t call me that. And you don’t know that” Tonks let out a heavy breath. “I miss him”

“Change of subject?” Tonks asked, somehow knowing that she wouldn’t talk more of the deceased wizard. She was right; Rosa nodded slightly.

Tonks thought for a moment. “Quidditch?”

“I don’t really like it”

“Do you fly at all?”

“A bit. Remus taught me” she answered Tonks honestly, relishing the memories she had from her early childhood.

“What broom you fly?” Rosa actually laughed at the question.

“Whichever I find in a broom closet. It’s not very ladylike to fly so Mum never got me a broom. I can’t afford one myself so… that’s that” Tonks nodded and changed the subject smoothly to Madame Hooch. 

They talked for a couple hours, getting more comfortable with each other, even cracking a couple of jokes. Rosa could understand why her Father loved the purple haired Auror. She was a joy to be around, though Rosa repressed those thoughts. The sun had gone down, Rosa only seeing a dark countryside from the window. 

“Are you sure you won’t come to the wedding?” Tonks asked, getting Rosa out of her head.

Rosa nodded slightly. “You won’t want a Death Eater there”   
“We would if it were you” 

“If I sent you letters would you show them to Remus?” Rosa lifted her eyes to meet the older witch’s. The purple haired woman’s mouth turned into a small ‘o’ in surprise.

“I can’t promise you that. If you’re in danger… I would have to tell him. But if… if you shared your feelings or thoughts or certain situations… I would keep your secrets” 

“That’s fair” Rosa said, nodding and averting her eyes again.

Tonks grinned. “Does that mean that you approve of me?” Rosa rolled her eyes, but couldn’t keep a smile down.

“You would make a… good friend, I guess”

“You know why that is?” Rosa shrugged. “Because you two are almost the same person”   


“What?” Rosa made a face, always thinking that she and Remus were basically polar opposites.

“You both run, not physically but emotionally, when faced with emotional distress. Remus does the exact thing your doing now before and after the Moon. Reserved, bipolar just not himself. I understand that you feel like you have to change up your personality--”   


“Please don’t get into that” 

“That’s exactly what I mean! You don’t need to lie to us here. You can just… be” Rosa shakes her head, reminding herself of the discussion she had with Draco couple months ago. With him, she could do what Tonks was suggesting. Right now, with Tonks, her mask was cracking, but not completely off.

“It’s too--” Rosa was cut off by a loud cackling that came from outside. She instantly recognized the laugh.

Leaping to see outside, Rosa saw a ring of fire surrounding the wooden building. Her eyes widen as she sees the manic Death Eater, Bellatrix, laughing by the smoke. Rosa and Tonks shoot up, running down, all the whilst Bellatrix sings “I killed Sirius Black! I killed Sirius Black!” over and over and over again. 

Rosa takes out her wand as they make it outside where everyone has made their way to. Potter is fighting to get release from Mr. Weasley’s grip to attack the black haired witch. Rosa could only think what the boy would do to her if he knew the truth. 

But her thoughts are interrupted when she sees him. Fenrir Greyback. Rosa’s eyes were instantly filled with fury and fire. She was about to start running towards his laughing body int the far shadows when she felt her body being pulled back. It was a weird sensation, not feeling the hand on her elbow but being forced not to move. She turned violently to the person holding her from killing Greyback right then and there. It was Remus. Rosa’s expression softened, whilst he looked furious.

There were some shouts, apparently Potter and Ginerva had made it through the ring of fire. But all Rosa could properly concentrate on, was Remus’s darkened eyes. 

“ _ Did you know about this _ ?!” he shouted, his hands grabbing onto Rosa’s upper arms tightly enough for her to feel it. Every sliver of anger left Rosa’s expression only to be replaced by saddened shock. She couldn’t get words out, she only shook her head.

“Rosa Dawn. Look at me, right now or I swear to God--”   


“Don’t finish that sentence” Rosa butted in, noticing that she couldn’t keep her mask on around him firmly enough. No matter how much she tried to get disowned, Rosa was certain that she couldn’t get through it if Remus actually said those words out loud.

“I’ll ask you again, and if you lie to me, I promise to you, I will never even look your way again” he said, out of breath, almost desperate for the truth. “Did you know about this?”   


“I didn’t” Rosa told the truth. 

“Why is it that I can’t tell anymore if my own daughter is lying or not?” Rosa swallowed.

“Let me go. Greyback’s here, I have to… I promise to kill him if I ever saw him” it took a lot of willpower not to let her tears fall. Remus’ expression changed immediately when she mentioned the name. 

“Floo back to France. Now!” He shouted, his wand stretched out. Most of the Weasley’s and Tonks had ran to the crops looking to duel the Death Eaters. Sounds of spells leaving wands filled the air together with the raging and crackling fire. Remus was frantically looking around, making sure that Greyback was nowhere to be seen.

“Rosa. Liar or not, you’re not going to be around that man. Never in my life will you meet him. Ever. You leave. Now!”

Rosa looked towards the field where she so wanted to run to and then back to Remus.

“Now, Rosa. You’re leaving now” Rosa eventually nodded, slightly ashamed to be running from a fight. But Remus shoved her towards the door of the Burrow. 

Rosa ran to the fireplace, not caring for her backpack upstairs. Grabbing the floo powder from a pot, she stepped into the fireplace. She heard a crash up above, like something hit the Burrow. Soon enough she shouted out the address of Draco’s villa and green flames took over. 

What Rosa didn’t understand, was the green was surrounded with yellow. She quickly understood when within the swirling sensation of travelling by floo, her lungs were filled with smoke. She coughed violently, until she stumbled through the fireplace into the villa’s living room. The edge of her shirt was on fire. She padded it frantically, until it was out properly. She checked her body quickly, making sure she wasn’t bleeding or if she had any burns she wasn’t able to feel. Few moments later she came to the conclusion that she escaped without a scratch. 

Rosa looked around, for the first time realizing that it was quite dark and empty. Draco had told her that Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy would come around and the living room was the most logical place for them to have tea and catch up. Something about the situation made Rosa feel uneasy. 

“Draco?” he had promised to be there in the morning, so even if he wasn’t around, he would soon be. Right? Rosa walked to the kitchen, noting that the oven was left on from whenever he had reheated some of their leftovers. Rosa turned it off promptly and decided to check his room.

Knocking three times like she had so many times before, Rosa waited for permission to walk in. None came. Rosa swallowed, not able to shake off the uneasy feeling. She knocked again. When no answer came Rosa opened the door, just to be sure.

She saw Draco, clearly awake, laying on his bed staring at the ceiling helplessly. He was sobbing slightly, his eyes red under the dimmed light of the ceiling lamp. Rosa’s breath catches in her throat.

“Draco?” she steps in, taking slow steps towards him. “What’s wrong, Draco?” she asked, her voice breaking.

“You weren’t supposed to be here until morning, Rosa Dawn” his voice is void of all the charisma it’s normally filled with. He sounded weak and broken. 

“Death Eaters attacked the Bur-- Headquarters” she told him. He shot up, looking at her from head to toe, making sure she’s uninjured. At the same time, Rosa assesses him. He has been crying that point was clear. His suit jacket and tie were abandoned somewhere, whilst his button down and trousers - both black - wrinkly and unkempt. Suddenly, Rosa couldn’t give a bigger fuck what had happened earlier that day. All that mattered was him. 

“I’m fine” Rosa stated desperately when he didn’t say anything. “What’s happened, Draco?” Draco looked down, sitting back down at the edge of the bed. 

“I didn’t have a choice, you know that right?” their eyes met as Rosa’s heart sank. Her eyes went straight to his left forearm, covered by a sleeve. “Please, Rosa, don’t hate me” Malfoy’s don’t beg.

Rosa sat next to him, taking his left hand to hers. With her free hand, she rolled up his sleeve. And there it was. Black and ugly, snake coming out of a skull. It was red around the edges, still new and raw. Rosa ran her fingertips over it gently, barely touching. Draco’s breath hitched.

“And you know that this is not really you, right?” he shook his head slightly at Rosa’s question. She laced their fingers. “The fact that you’re crying about this should be enough to tell you that you are not a Death Eater. You will never be one, not truly. Just know that I think that, okay?” He nodded slightly. “And I would never hate you, Draco Lucius Malfoy. Never” 

Their eyes met for a brief moment of tenderness. It was one of those moments of the unspoken whatever between them. When Rosa didn’t want anything else other than to press her lips against his. But neither of them did that. 

“Does it hurt?” she asked, quickly to get a distraction. He shook his head, still looking at her. 

“Before it felt like it was on fire... but... not anymore” 

“Good” Rosa said.

“Rosa?” she lifted her eyes to look up at him once more. “Could you spend the night here? I just… I know it’s pathetic, but--”   


“I’ll stay with you, Draco. Like you would for me” Rosa’s voice was full of love for him. He smiled, brought their laced fingers to his mouth, and gave her hand a small kiss. “You know I can’t feel that” Draco’s sad grin widened slightly.

“At least you can see it” Rosa could swear she was blushing even if she couldn’t feel herself doing so. “Thank you, Rosa Dawn”   


“Anything, Draco. If you need help, I’ll do anything. You are no Death Eater” 

“I know, Rosa Dawn. I know” both of them smiled bittersweetly at each other. Rosa wiped a stray tear away from Draco’s cheek. They slept in the same bed that night; they would wake up with their arms around each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Tell me what you're thinking; leave a kudos/comment/bookmark, or just have a flamboyant day!


	31. Custody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are! Important chapter here, hope you like it~
> 
> Also just as a side note... OVER 100 KUDOS AND 1500 HITS, EXCUSE ME? thank you so much to everyone who keeps on readin gand commenting and just... you are lovely! Thank you!!

August 21st. 

The Trial day.

Just like any other day, Rosa walked straight to the kitchen after waking up after a long night. She had suffered through multiple nightmares, Draco had ended up sleeping in her room after he had to wake her up twice. Now, deep dark circles underneath her eyes, all Rosa wanted was some breakfast.

Unlike every other day, Draco was awake before her. Rosa stared at him, slightly annoyed to be awake at this hour, mixing up some porridge on the stove. Sitting down, Rosa waited silently until Draco put down a filled bowl. She noted that it had some extra sugar and fruit on top compared to her regular breakfast. Without acknowledging Draco’s care, they both started ladeling spoonfuls into their mouths.

It didn’t take long for Draco to break the tired silence. “We haven’t talked about this before” 

“There’s a reason for that” Rosa said with a strong tone, wanting to make sure that Draco would understand that she didn’t want to continue with the conversation.

“Are you nervous?” Apparently he didn’t get the hint. 

“Draco” Rosa warned.

“That’s a yes” she glared at the smirking bastard. “Do you need any advice?”   


“What? You have any experience with custody trials?” 

“No. But I have a pretty good knowledge of you. And your mother’s tactics” Rosa lifted her eyes to him in surprise. “What? You expect me to just sit here and take the bullshit you spit at me?” 

“Go on then, smartass” 

“The question first is who do you want to win the trial?” He asked. When Rosa just stared at her porridge, refusing to answer, Draco finally understood. “You don’t know, do you?”    


“How am I supposed to choose? Obviously Mother should win… in the sense of the future. But... “ Rosa sighed.

“You want for Lupin to win” Rosa shook her head. She didn’t know, but she had a plan. If it would work was another matter. Working would be another question; she didn't know which outcome she'd prefer.

+++

Being back in the Ministry was worse than Rosa had thought. Of course the trial had to be in the department of mysteries, because where else would it be? Rosa looked around, asking few witches for directions, who with a slight scowl pointed toward the correct direction.

Rosa didn’t dare to look toward the doors she knew would lead to the direction of the room where she killed Sirius. The memories of the day wanted to flood in, but she tried desperately to get rid of them. She kept her mind on the upcoming trial; how terrifying it would be. It goes without saying that it didn’t help her nerves. And then she saw her Mother. Just standing there, looking as if she was waiting for someone.

The first thing Madilyn did was look Rosa up and down, who was wearing an A-line dress. It was probably a little too ‘muggle’ for the occasion. The older witch ushered her to come to her. 

“Mother” Rosa greeted when she made it to her. She hadn’t seen her face to face since Christmas. Her heart was beating, her chest wanted to heave, but Rosa forced herself to look calm. The one thing she was failing at was putting on a smile. 

“Are you ready to tell everyone the truth, darling?” Madilyn asked. Rosa nodded awkwardly, regretting that decision when she saw her mother’s eyes darken. “And what is the truth you are telling today?” Madilyn rose her eyebrows, waiting. 

“I… Well… You-- I will--”   


_ SLAP _

“Get yourself together!” Madilyn roared suddenly. Rosa was shocked, the slap, not hurting her as much as one would expect. But it was enough for Rosa to bring her hand to her cheek in shock. “You understand that what you tell the Wizengamot today, decides our future! I will not go to Azkaban! You will not be the reason for me going there! Do not be a stupid child, not today Rosa. I thought you would’ve learnt that last Christmas. Or do I need to teach you again?” A small gasp left Rosa’s throat. 

Only the suggestion of Rosa spending another holiday with her Mother sent her to the state of ultimate fear. She froze. Her eyes were going all around, her plan, her thought all disrupting. When she didn’t give an answer to her Mother’s question, Madilyn’s hand went back up ready to slap her once more. 

As Madilyn was bringing her hand back down with force, Rosa closed her eyes, not wanting to see the echo of the sound of skin on skin even though she wouldn’t truly feel much of the impact. She heard the sound. But her head wasn’t forced to her right. 

“Hands off my daughter, you bitch” Rosa opened her eyes only to see Remus’ hand in the air, holding Madilyn’s wrist that hadn’t made its way to its target. 

“Remus. You have no say in how I discipline my daughter” Madilyn smiled sweetly.

“For now” Remus grabbed Rosa’s elbow, only to drag her away. Not far, just around the corner. Rosa let it happen, a part of her wanted to be dragged away from Madilyn. She wasn’t even sure why she was being ‘disciplined’. 

“Are you hurt?” Remus asked, worry evident in his eyes. Rosa shook her head. “Good” Remus straightened himself up, all concern leaving his physique.

“You are angry with me” Rosa just stated, noting on his body language. 

“They burnt down the Burrow” 

“I assumed since the floo almost suffocated me” Rosa said off-handedly.

“Do you have any concern--” Remus cut himself off, not wanting to get into all of this now. “We will talk of this later. They are all here. Dora. Weasleys. To support you, to make sure you’ll get through this--”   


“Liar” The Order were there for Remus, just incase were Remus to lose. The thought of having a winner scared Rosa. Both sides winning had more cons than pros. Rosa walked away from him, straight to the hearing room; The Wizengamot.

The room was big and circular. Cornelius Fudge sat on the highest chair that could only be called a throne. In a half a circle was the jury, the witches and wizards of the Wizengamot. All of them staring at her. One of the assemblymen pointed at one of the chairs on the side, one that was reserved for her.

Not far behind, the Weasley clan and Tonks walked in together with Remus and his representation, sitting opposite side of Rosa. Madilyn and her squad of purebloods - notably Narcissa Malfoy included - walked in noses high in the air and seating themselves couple feet from Remus. 

Fudge hit his gavel couple times to his desk. “The trial of Lupin versus Dawn now in session--”   
Rosa’s heart was beating. She didn’t hear much of what Fudge was talking. Not long after was Remus’ lawyer speaking, after which Madilyn’s. Rosa blocked most of the conversations, only hearing couple sentences. Remus’ lawyer spoke of abuse, whilst Madilyn’s was focusing on Remus’ ‘state of being’. Rosa kept her eyes on Tonks, her eyes pleading and full of fear. 

Quickly, Madame Pomfrey appeared, sitting on the chair in the middle of the hall. A wizard gave her a small teacup which she gratefully downed.  Rosa hadn’t caught why. 

“What is your name, witness?” Fudge asked.

“Madam Poppy Pomfrey” the old healer answered confidently.

“And what is it you do?”   


“I work as the matron at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry” Fudge motioned for Remus’ representation to take over. A plump wizard, with a handsome mustache came to address the jury. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen of the honoured Wizengamot. We bring you the evidence, of the photographs” the only thing one could hear after he ended his sentence was Rosa’s loud gasp. Heads turned to her, including Remus’. 

A projector was set up. Slides were put in. Lights were dimmed. The light of the projector illuminated the empty wall facing Rosa, above Remus and the Order members. The lawyer put in the first photograph. 

Rosa felt all air leave her lungs. It was her back, she hadn’t ever seen it in her life, not daring to try to look at herself in the mirror. She had never seen her back before, but she was able to recognize it. 

People were bringing their hands to their mouths, Remus clearly hadn’t seen the photos before. He had to stand up and sit back down a couple of times in a fit of anger. Rosa’s Mother did not give any clear reaction. Gasps, shouts… it was all that. But Rosa was frozen, completely just staring at the ugliness that was laid before her. She couldn’t believe that she had shown that to Draco willingly multiple times.

In the photograph was Rosa’s back after Christmas, littered with slashes and scars everywhere. Her skin was red and raw, some scars bleeding. No smooth skin was anywhere to be detected. It was all scar tissue, all of the skin that Rosa couldn’t feel anymore. She had never before thought of herself as that… ugly.

“Madam Pomfrey, could you please tell us what we are looking at?”   


“That is Rosa Dawn’s back, the photograph was taken in mid-January” 

“And just in the interest to break the Defense’s rebuttal, could you tell us what is your best estimate as the age of these scars?”   
The healer took a breath. “Most of them are not brand new. But the healing of some of the scars on the edge of her back show signs of continuous abuse. Going back maybe even as long as a decade”   


“Which at the time would make the defendant 6-years-old. Now my only question to you, ladies and gentlemen of the Wizengamot, is… Is it truly in Rosa Dawn’s best interest to stay with a woman that has allowed this to happen to her precious child?” he bowed his head in show of stopping his statement, letting Madilyn’s representation to take over.

A thin and frail looking woman, her nose high up in the air walked to Madam Pomfrey, ready to question her. “Is there any proof that Madilyn Suzanne Dawn inflicted these wounds?” 

“There’s not a way of knowing who did these, no”   


“And is there a possibility that some of these scars were inflicted by a werewolf attack?” Remus clenched his jaw. Rosa glared at the woman. Madam Pomfrey looked at the photo once more. 

“My knowledge on werewolves is lacking. But I can quite confidently say that I do not see any wounds that could be made with a werewolf’s hand. The scars are too thick in my opinion. Also, I’d like to add that werewolves do not have a tendency to leave prey behind alive, not when wolfsbane potion has not been used” Madilyn’s lawyer looked distraught, and bowed her head in defeat.

“Defence calls in Rosa Dawn” the witch said with clear incantation. Rosa’s eyes widened, as did many others’. She shook her head violently, but she was ushered to take Pomfrey’s previous seat. Just as her bum hit the chair, she was offered a similar cup of something, everyone expecting her to drink it.

“What is it?” Rosa asked.

“Veritaserum” 

“No” Rosa said firmly. 

“Miss Dawn, you are required to drink if--”   


“What if I do not wish to be a witness? I’d rather make a statement if you will, Minister” Fudge thought for a moment.

“You shall make your statement, after which the defence shall interrogate you under the the serum. You were listed as a witness weeks ago, Miss Dawn. If you were unwilling, it would have been your responsibility - or your current guardian’s responsibility - to get you off the list” Rosa glared at the man.

“I just wanted to make a point. I’m sixteen at the moment. I’m turning 17, coming of age, in March of the next year. I simply wonder what is the reason for this trial altogether. I’m not required to stay with a parent during the Christmas holidays. This summer I am spending with neither of them. Neither of them will see me at all until I am of age, making me no longer in need of a guardian in the eyes of the law. So I ask… why are we here?” 

Everyone errupter in not-so-silent whispers, trying to understand the teenager’s words. With no happiness in her face, Rosa reached for the teacup and downed couple of the drops of Veritaserum in it. She readied herself, though saying that made her feel like she was lying to herself. 

“What is your name?” 

“Rosa Dawn-Lupin, sir” Rosa’s eyes widened at her own answer. She cleared her throat. “Not on paper… People know as just… Rosa Dawn… sir” she tried lying through her explanation but was unable to. She took a look at Remus who seemed confused. 

“And what do you do?” Fudge rolled his eyes at the question he was supposed to ask out of protocol.

“I’m about to start my sixth year at Hogwarts, sir” the minister gave a nod at the defense. The thin lawyer walked confidently to Rosa.

“Was it not your house elves who gave you these scars?”   


“Most of them”

“And who gave you the rest of them?” Rosa bit down hard, trying to fight off the inevitable.

“My Mother” surprisingly, the lawyer smiled slightly in midst of all the disgusted groans.

“And why did your Mother do that exactly?” Rosa visibly tensed. The woman did not expect her to spill all of her family’s ties to Voldemort, did she?! Rosa grunted as the Veritaserum was paining in her veins. Pain, once more was something Rosa could feel. Only it wasn’t on top of her skin. The pain started in the inside. 

“Was it not for discipline?” the lawyer added.

“Yes!” Rosa exclaimed. It wasn’t a lie. She did not need to go further into it. How would Narcissa Malfoy and the others welcome her to their ranks if she were to shout to everyone that her mother was a serial abuser? Rosa finally understood her Mother’s tactic.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! Is it wrong for a Mother to discipline one’s child? I believe we can all agree that Mrs. Dawn’s actions might’ve been old fashioned to some, but the elves themselves worked outside from her knowledge, beating and torturing this poor, poor child. My client had nothing to do with this deplorable action that the elves took upon themselves to finish! She was herself dosed with the draught of living death! And may I add… I wonder how Miss Dawn’s health would be… if she was left for sixteen years to be taken care of by a werewolf… would we even be here?” 

“Yes, we would” Rosa couldn’t help herself, it was the Veritaserum talking. It was a question which she provided an answer for. 

Once more Rosa turned to look at Remus who looked basically livid. His lawyer seemed interested in interrogating her, Remus had made it quite clear that she wouldn’t have to.

“Prosecution?” Fudge asked, getting impatient. Remus’ lawyer stood. 

“A simple question, Miss Dawn” the plump man started, “Why did the elves attack?” Rosa felt her eyes welling, he breath heaving as she fought against the blasted potion. Whimpers left her throat as words started to mold in her brain, wanting to make it through to her lips.

“Why?” the lawyer pressed on.

“They-- they were ordered to” the lawyer nodded, getting the picture by looking around at the Wizengamot, who connected the dots. 

“And finally,” the mustached man went on again, “which parent would you like to win the trial?” 

To Rosa’s surprise this was the easiest one to answer. “Neither” 

Fudge had to hit his mantel a couple of times to quiet the whispers that had erupted. “We shall take a vote--”   


“But minister--” Madilyn’s lawyer’s protest was silences by Fudge’s silent lift of his hand. 

“I believe we’ve heard enough. We’ve all read through the paperwork, there is no need for further interrogation” 

Papers started to fly towards the minister, one from each member of the Wizengamot. Rosa understood it to be a silent and a anonymous way of voting. She didn’t move from the chair, just waited, eyeing every wizard one by one, trying to get them to change their minds. 

Couple minutes passed before the parchments mended into one, which landed on Fudge’s hands. He read it through silently first, nodded, and then looked at Rosa square in the eye.

“My child… your case is a sad one indeed. This court has decided to do what is best for you” Rosa didn’t like the way that sounded. “The results are as so. In the case of Lupin versus Dawn, the Wizengamot has decided upon the immediate incarceration on one Mrs. Madilyn Suzanne Dawn in charges of child abuse in many counts, found guilty, sentence to be decided on a later date. The witch in question shall be sent to the prison of Azkaban to wait until her further hearing” 

Rosa couldn’t believe her ears. Her Mother. In Azkaban. Rosa was doomed. 

“What comes to the legal guardian of Miss Rosa Dawn, she shall live under the guardianship of one Mr. Remus John Lupin, but only in before the law. The court shall look at Miss Rosa Dawn as an independent, only will guardianship be needed in further lawful hearings before her 17th birthday. Miss Rosa Dawn is under no obligation to see, meet or live with said Mr. Lupin. As you said, dear, only on paper will he be your guardian. Court dismissed” 

What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Remus was her guardian but not really? Idiotic is what is was. 

The members of the court made their leave, Madilyn had been already escorted out. Only the Order members stayed together with the frozen Rosa. 

“Are you alright, Rosa?” it was Remus who was slowly making his way towards her. Rosa cursed at the veritaserum still in her bloodstream. This wasn't planned. This wasn't the outcome anyone had wanted - except maybe Remus. He had gotten his revenge. Madilyn would be in Azkaban before Rosa got back to France. It was ludicrous. But Remus seemed pleased. Rosa didn't know how to feel.

“No” she simply stated. 

“I need to ask you something, whilst you’re telling the truth” he was now face to face with his daughter, looking worried.

“I didn’t know about the Burrow burning” Rosa said immediately.

“I wanted to-- I knew you didn’t-- it was the first day of the cycle--”   


“I don’t need your excuses, Remus. I understand why you do not trust me” Rosa looked down, surprised that she actually could believe her words.

“I just need to know…” the wizard started, considering if he should or not. He decided on the former. “Do you truly hate me?” 

Rosa closed her eyes painfully. “I hate the fact that you’re asking me that whilst I’m under this shit” Rosa managed to say, trying to bite her teeth together.

“Answer the question, Rosa. I need to know” 

With red eyes, Rosa looked up at her father. Her eyes were filled with anger. “I could never hate you” she said through gritted teeth. 

“Why do you think I will disown you?” Rosa stood up, clearly upset.

“Ask Tonks” her voice was a whimper as decided to run straight towards where she knew the elevators were.  She might have to answer the question but maybe she could fight off the potion for a moment longer. “I killed Sirius Black” it was a whisper that left her throat, no one thankfully around. It didn’t take her long to floo back to France.

+++

Draco was waiting for her on the living room couch. He stood right up when he saw the green flames erupt in his fireplace. Rosa stepped in, slightly disheveled, teary eyed… a wreck.

“What happened?” It was a simple question. Rosa couldn’t help it, the veritaserum still in her system, she vomited out all of what had happened that day, telling the event to Draco too quickly for him to catch up on everything.

Rosa found it that she was the complete opposite in this state than what she was before. Rather than being stoic and non reactive, she was feeling every shred of the tiniest of emotions, all of them coursing through her body at once. It was overwhelming, and all she wanted to do was to shut herself out from the world again. But she couldn’t. She had made a promise to Draco. 

A promise. 

In her hazy state, whilst Draco was still digesting all of the information she had laid up or him, Rosa spoke once more. “Draco, I need you to do something for me” it surprised both of them.

“Why?” it was a simple question that Rosa could’ve given an hour long answer. She decided on a simpler one.

“I need to get out of my own head. It’s getting overwhelming” It was honest (as if she had any other choice), and she hoped Draco could get the hint. Of course he didn’t; he only gave her a confused look, waiting for an explanation. “I need you to break one of your promises”   


“Which one?” Draco seemed slightly wary now; this wasn’t regular Rosa Dawn behaviour, though she had a habit of hanging moods constantly. 

“Kiss me” 

“What?”   


“I want you to kiss me” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Leave a comment/kudos/bookmark or just have a lovely day!


	32. Fighting For a Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're getting this chapter a bit earlier than usual, because your girl in on reading week (plus I'm about to leave for Prague so I won't be around to give you an update during the weekend like I would normally do).  
> So, I do hope you like this one, sorry about the cliffhanger btw (I'm just saying that, I'm not actually sorry)
> 
> ALSO 100,000 words was hit with this chapter which is like... so cool. So thank you again to everyone who keeps on reading this little story!! I hope you keep on enjoying it!

Draco was staring at Rosa, completely dumbfounded. “W-what now?” he repeated the question. Rosa felt her heart plummet to the ground as a wave of disappointment and embarrassment went through her.

“You heard me” she just answered, now less confident.

“Rosa, you’re emotional” Draco said, still in a state of shock.

“I… Okay” Rosa was decided it was her time to escape the conversation. She only managed to get few steps towards her room, when Draco strode over, blocking her way.

“Talk to me”

“There’s nothing to say” Rosa couldn’t meet his eyes.

“So it’s just completely normal for you to ask me to kiss you, huh?”

“No. It’s like you said, I’m… upset. It’s the veritaserum talking”

“You’re still under it?” Draco’s eyebrows shot up in intrigue.

Rosa glared at him, predicting where he would take the conversation. “Yes” she couldn’t lie. “Don’t you dare” she added quickly.

“Why did you ask me to kiss you?” Draco asked immediately, crossing his arms above his chest. Rosa pressed her lips together, feeling the pain of not talking starting in her stomach and travelling up her spine to her head. A whine left her throat, the potion doing it’s job once more.

“I--”

“Just tell me, Rosa Dawn”

“Because I’ve wanted you to for a while now!” she exclaimed eventually, feeling the pain leave immediately after. “And I need to get out of my head! It worked last time! And you’re infuriating! And so fucking-- kind, and caring--”

“Do you have feelings for me?” Draco cut her off.

“Yes!” Rosa brought her hand to her mouth immediately.

Draco’s jaw was hanging open in shock of that revelation. “Rosa…”

“I know! I-- WHY DID YOU ASK ME?!” Rosa roared in her despair.

“Rosa, you can’t” he said, voice barely audible. “I’m a Death Eater” the Gryffindor froze and dared to look at Draco’s face. He looked conflicted, like in crossroads, not knowing which path to take.

“What?” Rosa had to get clarification.

Draco groaned slightly in annoyance. “Rosa, I told you _months_ ago. If you were to ever… _fall_ … for a Death Eater you should... run” 

“You are no Death Eater--” before Rosa could finish her scolding Draco had violently rolled up his sleeve.

“Do you think that the Wizengamot will find me ‘not guilty’ with this on my arm?! Huh?! I am one of them, whether you like it or not. End of story. I told you months ago, months, Rosa! ‘If the man is respectable, he will tell you to run away’. I told you! And now, I’m telling you to… run.”

“What if I refuse?”

“Rosa Dawn… we can’t” she let her eyes fall to the floor in disappointment.

“Does that…” Rosa had to build up her Gryffindor courage to ask the question, readying herself for another wave of disappointment. “Does that mean that if you didn’t have that on your arm, you--”

“Don’t go there”

“--would kiss me?” Rosa ignored his warning.

Draco didn’t answer.

“Would you?”

He kept his mouth shut.

“I’m assuming that you’re not answering because you promised not to lie to me”

“I also promised not to kiss you”

“And I asked you to break it”

“And I won’t”

“But if it didn’t exist would you?”

“Rosa Dawn--”

“Answer me!”

“We can’t talk about fucking hypothetical situations here, Rosa! It is what it is, I will not kiss you. Ever” Draco uncomfortably moved, giving Rosa space to leave. But against his wishes she didn’t move an inch.

“Coward” she insulted him with meaning, staring at his eyes and the anger within them.

“Tell your Mother to say ‘hi’ to my Father in Azkaban” he knew that the comment would get to her. He was correct; Rosa scowled. “I’m a Slytherin, Rosa. We’re not brave”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not asking you to be a hero, I’m asking you to… be honest”

“Seems that the Veritaserum has worn off” he took a moment. “Liar” he added.

“Says the one who wants to kiss the girl but won’t” Rosa spat out.

“I told you once that no one in Hogwarts was respectable enough for you. That includes me”

“Bullshit”

“Just go, Rosa Dawn. I’m not kissing you”

“Then look at me and tell me you don’t have feelings for me” she challenged him. Rosa could promise she heard a small growl leaving Draco’s throat. “Go on”

Draco looked down at her. “Fuck you” he turned to leave, she immediately grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Tell me” she demanded.

“I won’t be breaking my promises, Rosa. No matter what I feel”

“Stop using that shit as an excuse! I already said that you could break--”

“I’m starting to think those slut rumours were true after all. You’re getting pretty desperate don’t you think?” he cut her off, subsequently shutting her up. Draco tried keeping his face natural, but some regret seeped to his expression.

Rosa was frozen in place, trying to process his words. She had to bite her mouth closed not to have it gaping at him. Behind her eyes she could feel the potential of unshed tears.

“I…” she had to take a moment. Apparently Draco wasn’t as kind behind closed doors as she thought. “I’m… happy… to know what you think of me... After everything we’ve-- After all this… I’m still just a desperate slut to you”

“Rosa--” Draco started, but it was too late; Rosa started walking towards the room she knew were hers at least for the remaining two weeks of the holiday.

Draco cursed under his breath.

 

The next couple of days were awkward. Much too awkward for Draco’s liking. Rosa was very effectively giving him the silent treatment by staying mostly in her room. She would pretty much only come out for dinner.

Draco tested her nerve. Today he hadn’t cooked anything, and just waited her to show up to the empty kitchen. She glared at him, questioning.

“Your turn to cook” Draco challenged her. Rosa huffed and stomped to the icebox. Getting out her wand and swishing it violently couple of times, ingredients from the cooler started to awkwardly stumbling out.

“What happened to doing it the Muggle way?” Draco teased, smirking.

“You became a twat, Malfoy” Draco’s smirk left his face immediately.

“Do not call me that, Rosa Dawn” his voice was warning.

“Or what?” Draco didn’t answer, so she kept on cooking through magic, very badly. 

“Just do it properly” he eventually said, when vegetables were swirling in the air without any direction, cutting themselves unevenly.

“No” Rosa said with finality, keeping with her task. There was some questionable sauces flying in the air and mixing together with the steaming, still raw vegetables.

“You’re doing it wrong” Draco scolded, getting slightly impatient. Rosa didn’t react to his words verbally, though Draco could basically see the steam coming out of her ears.

Meatballs started floating in the air, slowly cooking as they were coated in the ‘sauce’. Continuing with her messy wandwork, Rosa couldn’t care less if the food would actually be tasty or not. Summoning salt and other spices, the spices tried incorporating themselves to the concoction, though most of it ended up on the floor. The food was now splashing and sizzling and not in a nice way. Rosa made a face, starting to realize that her artillery didn’t really have any spells that would help her with the correct temperature of cooking meatballs.

Rosa didn’t show her frustration; she was already making a fool of herself, she wouldn’t start angry crying, aka what she felt like doing. Losing control, the food fell to the counter with a wet slap, spilling everywhere. Rosa huffed in anger, throwing her wand towards Draco missing by a huge margin.

“You do it then!” she shouted, out of breath all of a sudden. “You absolute bastard! I told you not to ask me, I told you!” she kept on ranting in anger.

“Are you really that mad because I didn't kiss you? Really?” Draco was practically laughing at her absurdity.

“I’m not a child you fucking hypocrite!”

“ _Hypocrite_?” his brows went up in offense.

“Yes! Preaching about not breaking your promises to me and then lying to my fucking face!”

“Hypocrite. Really? You’re the one who wants me to break the bloody promise! And even if the promise wasn’t there I wouldn’t kiss you. Live with it! It’s called unrequited love--”

“ _Love_? Since when do Malfoy’s know anything about love?” Draco took a moment, scowling.

“More than you do, _bastard_. Am I not the only one who has said those three words to you and actually meant them?”

“And is your count any higher than that? Or do the sluts you keep on fucking love you?”

“I have parents--”

“Sure. They love you so much. Both branded, inflicting their sickness to you, call that love if you want to”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand”

“Explain then! We’re supposed to get married--”

“We both know that’s not going to happen. You’re never going to love me in that light, not after the war”

“Are you saying that you want me to?”

“We’re not having this conversation again, Rosa”

“Fine. I’ll pack up my things then” Rosa said. “ _Accio_ wand” her wand was quickly in her hand, she looked at Draco, waiting.

“Where are you going?” he kept his cool, smelling her bluff.

“The Leaky”

Draco scoffed. “Fours days in the Leaky before the Express leaves… That’s, what, at least eighty galleons?”

“Sixty-two” she informed.

“With whose money? Lupin’s?” he was making fun of her.

“Yours” she said, no hint of humour in her tone.

“ _Mine_? And how are you expecting to squeeze sixty-two galleons out of me?”

Rosa was glaring daggers into Draco. “I thought you knew the answer to that” she was talking on the fly, just trying to come up with something in her anger. Draco just crossed her arms and waited.

Taking a moment, she kept her tears at bay, but Draco did notice them reddening slightly. In the midst of her fury, she got an idea.

“I’m a slut, am I not?”

“Rosa--”

“Is it wrong of me to assume that you’d want my services?”

“Stop it--”

“I’m desperate remember?”

“You’ve made your point”

Rosa started unbuttoning her shirt in anger, not moving her eyes from his once. “Have I?” She peeled of her shirt, leaving herself in only her bra and threw the piece of fabric at Draco. He looked at her, his eyes wandering around her exposed skin. He took a step towards her. Surprised, Rosa took one backwards.

He took a couple stubborn steps towards her, but instead of going for her, he went for the faucet. Out of his pocket, he took a handkerchief which he soaked in water just slightly. He then - finally - turned back to Rosa the wet piece of cloth coming towards her, until it hit her collarbone.

“You haven’t been cleaning your scars” Draco just said, wiping and cleaning an angry red one on her collarbone. It was quite obviously infected. His touch was gentle, his face soft. Rosa dropped her head down in shame, before remembering the photos in the trial. Immediately, she shoved Draco off of her.

“Did I hurt you?” Draco asked quickly, concerned.

“My… My shirt” Her voice was small and fearful all of a sudden. She brought her hands around her, looking for the biggest scars and trying to cover them. Her hands couldn’t find a spot to leave her hands to, always finding a bigger scar that was on show.

“Rosa, I’ve seen them before” Draco said, still not moving.

“But… I… They--”

“Rosa, breathe. It’s not a big deal, I’ve seen them” Rosa couldn’t internalize the words. In her mind she just saw the ugliness of the marks all over her body. And what everyone thought of her as… A scarred slut.  And maybe she saw at least half of it in herself too. She did after all avoid mirrors for that exact reason. And now, without anyone telling her to, she exposed that to another human being. Shame and disgust took over her mind.

“I-- My shirt. Please” she was practically shaking, images of her scars littering her mind. Images of how she got those scars even more so. Her mother’s voice, the elves… all taking over. Rosa stared blankly forward, her hands coming to a stop finally, her body now frozen and unmoving.

She didn’t notice when Draco wrapped the shirt around her shoulders and then starting to move her hands into the sleeves. 

“Breathe” he reminded her as he started buttoning her shirt up. She took a ragged breath. “You would make an awful slut” Draco said offhandedly. Rosa internalized the words, blinking a couple of times… and finally gave him a proper glare. Draco tried to keep his laughter down.

Buttoning up the last button of her shirt Draco’s hands lingered by her neck. Rosa brought her hand to his. Their eyes met. Draco quickly brought his hands down and took a step back.

“Sorry… they showed photos at the trial…” Rosa tried to explain, he just nodded.

“Stay here, Rosa you can’t take care of your bloody self… I’ll go get some take out or something…” he rambled awkwardly after realizing that she had gotten out of her head. He seemed it fit to just remove himself from the situation, still cross with her for some reason. Like something was still bothering him.

“Prat” Rosa said under her breath, waving her wand to clean up the mess that the food had made.

+++

The platform was filled with people to the point that Rosa felt like she was properly late. She was used to being the first person in the train, getting to choose from the seemingly endless amount of empty compartments. Clearly this year was different.

Draco hadn’t packed early enough, leaving them with minimal time to floo to London. To Draco they were nicely ten minutes early. To Rosa they were half an hour late.

The pair took their trunks, Draco almost immediately climbed into the train, not giving Rosa a second look or a bye. He just climbed into the train, knowing that she wouldn’t follow him to the Slytherin cart.

He had changed couple days ago, after their fight. Instead of Rosa being the one ignoring him, Draco was mostly not coming out of his room. It wasn’t silent treatment, it was… like he was in deep thought, secret thought that Rosa shouldn’t find out. Something was bothering him, Rosa just drew the conclusion that maybe he finally got sick of her.

Rosa tried pushing her feelings for him aside, reminding herself of all the ugly words he had called her during their fights. But every time her brain decided to remind itself of all the other times when they were alone, holding onto each other. When they just… fit.

Shaking her head, Rosa looked around the platform, walking a bit further to find a better cart to start her search for a compartment from. Basically, that meant walking past the carts that the Slytherins and Hufflepuffs used to frequent.

“ROSA!” her walking stopped immediately when she heard the voice. Turning around, she saw it. The one simple thing that she had dreamed of since she was eleven. Every thought of Draco and hers complicated relationship left her head. All simply because her Father was there, walking towards her.

Rosa could only stare. She brought her hands together behind her back to pinch one of them. It hurt, but the environment didn’t change. One of her parents had actually come to say goodbye to her at the platform.

“Do you have everything?” Remus asked from the girl, who was basically looking like a damn fish with her eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open. She nodded. “Sure? Books, robes, wand? All potions ingredients?” to every question she nodded. “You know, during Easter you said something about the first time you went to Hogwarts… I just thought me now being your “custodian” and all... I just wish you a happy year” he smiled, the gentle smile he could put on his face so easily. Rosa swallowed audibly.

“Thank you… I-- You came” she couldn’t really wrap her head around the situation.

“Only once can you see your child leaving to start their sixth year at Hogwarts. I didn’t want to miss it”

“But… the trial… and Mum and everything--”

“Is why I would appreciate if you’d answer my letters this year. We have to reconnect. Maybe somewhere in between I’ll be able to talk you into becoming Dora’s bridesmaid”

“Not likely” Rosa made a face, Remus only laughed.

“Well, I think you should hop on. Get yourself a compartment” Rosa nodded. “Safe travels. And… send me letters, Rosa. Seriously, I do worry about you”

Rosa thought about it for a moment. “Not as many as you write to me”

“I’ll take that” he laughed, a genuine smile on his lips. “Will I get a hug for good measure?”

Rosa scoffed, shaking her head a hint of sadness in her voice. “Not today. Maybe… maybe when you trust me without the help of Veritaserum”

“You are still cross with me” he stated.

“For now” his expression was suddenly lit up by hope through those two words.

“We’ll work on it then. Together”

The train tooted.

“Go on, now. I love you, remember to write” Rosa gave him a small smile; all that she could genuinely give him without faking a smile. She stepped into the train, keeping her eyes on her father a moment longer before starting her search for an empty compartment.

Her relationships were getting confusing; Draco was being a twat, whilst Remus was quite tolerable… he even said the three words to her after a long ass time avoiding them. Rosa hoped it wasn’t an omen of what the year was to bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it, thank you for reading!!
> 
> Leave a comment/kudos/bookmark or just have a fantastic day!


	33. Towers And Dungeons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is late! I'm sorry, uni has been crazy and I've been trying to get internships for the summer so sorry about that. BUT IT'S HERE NOW, and as always I hope you enjoy it.

_Hi._

_Well… I don’t really know how I am supposed to write to you… I guess I just needed some advice and thought you could help me… Since you have experienced this kind of stuff before… THOUGH please don’t give examples of Remus. That’s just weird. AND DO NOT LET HIM SEE THIS. It’s already embarrassing enough._

_So, there’s this boy. Don’t ask who, I won’t tell you. But, he’s… here. At Hogwarts, a schoolmate, I guess. And well, I know for a fact that he likes me. Like…_ likes _me. He practically told that to my face. And I have had feelings… ugh it sounds weird like that, I mean, I like him too. In that way. No one has ever liked me before, I’ve never really had felt like this before, though I’ve had crushes before… It’s different and complicated as well._

_I told him that I liked him after he asked if I did. And we had an argument. He says that if some things weren’t as they are he could… pursue me? Court me? You know, be with me. And if it weren’t complicated, I would understand that. But the thing is, that his excuse is absolute bullshit. I told him that. He knows that himself too! He wants to be with me, but keeps away from me, no matter what I say. I just want him._

_Now he’s ignoring me, avoiding me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. We were friends before all this. There was this tension between us that I’ve now defined as… attraction. Like as we spoke his eyes would briefly go to my lips, or he would touch me for a tad too long or he would give me this look. Just look at me with… I don’t know how to describe it, like he… wants to protect me._

_I just… needed another perspective and for obvious reasons I can’t owl ~~Dad~~ Remus. I know you might not have the time to help me out, you must have some Auroring or other stuff to do. But in the Burrow you told me to write… _

_I think this must be the most horridly written letter I’ve ever sent. But, I’d appreciate the advice. So thanks, I guess._

__\- Rosa Dawn_ _

 

 

Everytime the former friends were in some kind of contact Draco would brush Rosa off, not even letting her to get a word in. He was quickly getting very good at avoiding her, escaping every possible situation before Rosa could reach him. It was getting extremely frustrating.

Five days ago she sent the letter off. She was waiting, looking up at the sky on the tallest astronomy tower. Waiting was brutal, just a speck in the horizon is what Rosa was waiting for. Just a little hint of an owl. But all she could see was endless sky and clouds.

“Am I interrupting?” Rosa violently flinched and turned around, only to reveal the shy form of Neville Longbottom coming up the stairs. “I’ve been looking for you” he confessed. Rosa was immediately defensive, her brows furrowing in slight confusion.

“How did you find me?” she questioned.

“Harry has this… oh, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to tell. But he has a thing that helps us find each other. I said that I wanted to talk, and he found you for me” he explained.

“What do you want, Longbottom? It’s not like we’ve really talked since…” Rosa cut herself promptly off, reminding herself of the day in the Ministry.

“Well, that’s actually what I wanted to talk about… in part at least”

“Why? Haven’t you all done enough?” the sound of Rosa’s voice diminished as she finished the sentence. She hadn’t given Dumbledore’s Army much thought. Or the Ministry, nor Sirius. Not enough. Mourning wasn’t something she had ever done well, so she had decided to just wait out until the pain was bearable and just live like that. Keeping those thoughts out of her head just helped containing the emotional strain.

“No… just… I wanted to have a chat… ask a couple of questions”

Considering for a moment, taking one quick look at the horizon as she did so. If an owl would appear today, now would be a pretty good timing. But nothing was flying in the sky. Sighing, Rosa took couple steps back away from the railing and went to sit down on one of the stairs. Longbottom quickly followed.

“Shoot” Rosa’s voice was still defensive, like a cold command. On a second thought, her choice of words was pretty inconsiderate.

“Um… You know Bellatrix Lestrange?” he asked, like he had gathered his courage or that he had a plan on how this conversation would unfold.

“Yes, I’m quite familiar with her” it was no lie; Rosa could not get rid of the nightmares where the witches cackle was present.

“She tortured my parents. Relentlessly, over hours and hours. Bellatrix wanted them to give her information about the Order… They didn’t. Kept strong… and well… they ended up in the Loony bin at St. Mungo’s. And I was raised by my grandmother” Rosa got a pretty good idea where the conversation was heading.

“You must hate me then” she said like the words didn’t carry an immeasurable load. Another person who resented her. It wasn’t much.

“Why do you say that?” Longbottom was genuinely confused.

“The Cruciatus curse. I’m practically immune, whilst the same incantation sent your parents to insanity. I’ve been resented for less”

“No. I… I wanted to know more. How exactly-- my parents were under the curse for hours on end, how did you… I’m… curious”

Rosa looked down, shaking her head. “I don’t want to relive those memories, Longbottom. Besides, I don’t know. I don’t know why I… Maybe because I have some fucked up genes from my father being a werewolf, I have no idea”

“The library--”

“The library I’ve scanned over like fourteen times. It’s no help if you are the first one affected by something. This condition, or whatever it is… I can’t feel much, physically. It’s getting better, slightly and slowly. But if I was under constant stress… it wouldn’t-- I would end up in St. Mungo’s just like your parents, only for different reasons. Plus, I was under a lot more than just a singular cruciatus”

“What do you mean?”

“Longbottom” she was now warning him. “I don’t want to… think about those things anymore. It’s been over half a year now… I’ve.. moved on”

“You never move on from things like that”

“You do when you have bigger issues to think about”

“So, you just… live on? Continue knowing that the person abusing you, hurting you is just… there?” 

“Azkaban. She’s in Azkaban”

“She wouldn’t be the first one to break out. I’m starting to think that Azkaban isn’t enough for the monsters of war” he sounded, bitter and angry. Rosa had never seen the normally reserved boy in such a mindset. She tried to brush off the mere idea of her Mother being free again. She failed.

“Vengeful doesn’t suit you” she suddenly said honestly.

“I don’t think it suits anyone. Including you”

“I’m not on a path to get revenge”

“What do you want then?”

Rosa had to take a moment, breaking their eye contact. She thought of Draco, how she missed to be held by him. The feeling she felt when Remus told her that he loved her, not matter how disingenuous he was. The feeling when Aurors had come and carried her injured self out of her Mother’s house. And Draco again. Sensation of his lips on hers, no matter what his intentions were.

“Freedom” Longbottom nodded in understanding, though Rosa wasn’t finished; “ And Safety from love”

“From love?”

“Love is dangerous, deceiving. But I crave it. Especially from people who don’t want to share any”

“I’ll give you some of mine” he offered. Rosa turned to look at him, his face with that softened expression. She gave him a tiny shadow of a smile.

“I sometimes wonder… I am surrounded by people who give me that offer, even though they know I can’t take it”  
“Because your path is different, it doesn’t mean it has to be lonely. Or that it’ll lead to a different outcome” Rosa actually laughed at his naivety. She stood up.

“Gryffindors tell me that. Everyone. Granger, the Weasleys, Tonks, Remus… literally everyone wants the ‘best’ for me, only they mean that I would have to be on your side. As if I have a choice” 

“They told me. About him threatening people so that you would join”

“It’s not that simple, Longbottom. He’s offering me things the Order could never give me. But for some reason no one will listen. Obviously because… when I get branded… you’ll have to strike me down”

“Dawn, come on. You won’t actually join, will you? Those are the people that have been hurting you--”

“That doesn’t matter anymore, Longbottom. What matters is information and weaponry. I’m part of You-Know-Who’s artillery now, and a sworn one after you dragged me to the Ministry”

“Then you could give us information. You would be technically on the grey area, in the middle” Rosa scoffed.

“I don’t want to die, Longbottom. But I’ll take death if I have to. My place is with the purebloods. They raised me, they know me. The Order will always doubt me, no matter what I do. I need to choose a side that will keep me and those close to me alive. That is only possible when I’m with him” to her surprise, Longbottom nodded in understanding.

“Okay” he said, “I don’t believe you for a second, but okay”

“What about it you don’t buy?” Rosa shot at him, offended to be called a liar.

Longbottom shrugged. “It doesn’t really add up, is all. I get that you’re joining because you’re being blackmailed. But… you talk as if they’re the future or like they’re family, when they’ve done nothing to you… And you not helping the Order doesn’t--”

“Longbottom. Do you really think that I’m only trying to keep people on your side safe?”

“What?” he almost looked disgusted.

“Are you seriously naive enough to think that I’m the only one in this situation? If Remus weren’t my father would you even care?”

“Dawn…” he was at a loss.

“Would you even care if they shot me dead? I was a human shield to you in the Ministry”

“Only because you wouldn’t teach us how to become one ourselves!” he stood up, suddenly quite angry.

“There it is… knew it” Rosa mumbled under her breath. “You want to know how to become one? Use a Protego”

“I’m being serious” Longbottom glared at the girl.

“Yeah, so am I. When was the last time you got beaten?”

“What?”

“Never. Okay. You’re about 10 years late. You need 10 years of abuse first. Then you need to be hit with… at least two, better if three Cruciatus’ for a better side of a week. Congratulations, if you’re not dead or insane, you are a human shield. Practice your Protego, might be a little easier” Longbottom’s expression softened, but he kept his challenging tone.

“You’re too stubborn to see the people who actually care about you”

“When was the last time your group of friends showed me any kindness? When they tricked me into teaching you? Or maybe when you dragged me to the Ministry, solidifying my loyalties?”

“We… we need you”

“I don’t want to be a weapon, Longbottom. The Dark Lord… he gives me more reasons to actually become one than you do”  

 

+++

_It seems you are talking to Dora now… Are you pregnant? Do you have any idea how worried I am? She wouldn’t let me read it, so I’m going to assume the worst. If you’re pregnant… Or engaged to that Malfoy boy? What’s happened? Seriously, I understand that there are things you might not want to talk to me about… but I’d like to be aware if you are in contact with my fiance before I think that I’m becoming a grandfather._

_Send me a bloody letter._

_I love you, no matter what._

_Dad._

 

\--

 

_Rosa._

_That was not what I was expecting you to write to me about, but I’ll take it. It sounds to me that you need time. A lot of it. If he’s not ready for you, you should respect that, no matter how much bullshit he throws at you. He’ll eventually find you, because he obviously likes you too. Promise you that. (Yes, I know you didn’t want for me to say this as an example, but your Father was the exact same)_

_You sound stressed, like this boy is in trouble, that you need a shot of calming draught. Are you sure everything is okay? Or… I hope you don’t mind me asking… do you care about this boy on another level, other than just simple attraction? Maybe even a speck of love or affection at least._

_Think about it. But it sounds to me that you should move on for now, maybe find another bloke to land your eyes on. One that’s emotionally available._

_Or… just confront the bloody boy. And let him know who your Father is. (Speaking of which he wanted to read the letter, I burnt it. He’s now worried, expect a letter from him soon. Also, if he knew anything about this, he would want to make sure that the boy is respectable and that he wouldn’t dare to hurt you. He would probably mention the full moon)_

_Hope this helps at all,_

_All our love,_

_Dora Tonks_

 

“Fuck off” Rosa didn’t wait a week for this shit. Remus was clearly completely insane. But at the same time, she wasn’t really sure what she was expecting. This just confused her further.

Draco hadn’t spoken to her for three weeks. It was infuriating watching him walking into the Great Hall, everyday getting thinner, looking more and more like the dead version of himself from Rosa’s dreams. Truthfully, that was the most scariest thing that Rosa had to observe.

Among everyone else, Rosa kept herself pretty much isolated. It might’ve been a little lonely compared to last year, but she had gotten used to the ostracization in her first four years in Hogwarts. It was simple enough, just being alone, studying and sleeping and repeating.

Rosa was fed up. Absolutely, completely fed up.

A turn to the left. A turn to the left again. A turn to the right. A turn to the left.  And a final turn to the right.

Rosa stood in front of the door of Draco’s little quarters, glaring at the piece of wood. Bloody door. Stupid door. With an anger behind her eyes and motivated by her frustration, Rosa put her hand onto the knob, twisted it open and stepped into the room she expected Draco to leisure in.

 

What she didn’t expect was for him to leisure with someone else.

 

There he was, his hands on the black haired girl’s hips, one of them underneath her shirt. He was pulling her close, the girl herself was basically inhaling Draco’s mouth onto hers. They were going at it, snogging passionately only in a way that meant that they both wanted each other.

Rosa was practically frozen in place. Though this wasn’t the first time she had walked in on him, this time… she felt hurt. Betrayed even. Time seemed to move slowly, even though Draco had parted from the girl when he heard the door creaking. The mystery girl - a Slytherin judging by her tie - turned also towards Rosa. She had raven hair, just like Rosa. She had green eyes, though not as bright as Rosa’s emeralds. She and the Slytherin girl could be related.  

“You absolute dickhead” it was the first insult that came to her head. A tear left her eye, not caring to wipe it away. Instead, Rosa turned around and walked out of the room, letting the pair finish their business that most likely included coitus. That angered Rosa further, though she wasn’t really sure why.

Identifying her feelings as blatant jealousy, Rosa welcomed the pain in her heart. Draco had found a replacement for her. A willing participant - _a_ _slut_ \- to fuck, which he knew that Rosa wouldn’t jump into as easily.

In her haste, Rosa didn’t notice that she had missed a turn now ending up in a dead end. As she turned, she saw herself being barricaded by a slightly out of breath Draco.

“Rosa” he looked quite guilty, pained even.

“Already finished with your whore? Must be a new record for you”

“Rosa” this time his tone was warning, his eyes darkening.

“What? You found a practical clone of me, one that you could fuck. Do you think-- are you fucking kidding me?! You like me. Fact”

“That doesn’t matter”

“Yes, it fucking does! Just because you have a brand--”

“Quiet down, will you?!”

“Oh, fuck off.” she threw the insult, though quickly brought her volume down. “No matter what you have on your skin doesn’t mean that I should be hurt because of it. Or that you don’t deserve happiness”

“You just want a kiss, right? If I kiss you will you let all of this go?”

“No. If you kiss me, I… I want you to tell me how you feel. And… make sure you want to be with me. Not only once either”

“Why can’t you just wait until the end of the war, Rosa Dawn?!”

“Because we both might be dead then. And I can’t keep on watching you snogging an endless amount of sluts that practically look like they could be my sister. I mean, have you even heard of a locking charm? I— fucking— Does it occur to you that I actually want you? Do you care that it hurts me, fucking _hurts_ me when I see you snogging up another Person? You fucking asshole!”

”Calm down—”

”NO! I will not! I’m upset for a fairly good reason”

He huffed in anger. “When I told you that I would reserve you, we agreed that we weren’t a couple”

“That was then. This is now. I like you, you like me. What’s so fucking complicated?!”

“What about “I need to keep you safe” do you not understand? It doesn’t matter if I fucking loved you, if you’re dead”  

With the revelation, Rosa took a step towards him. Draco was having an internal battle between running away and kissing her. He just stood still.

“Do you think it will be worth staying away from me and if-- I die? Wouldn’t it be better if we… tried this, and if one of us dies… at least we gave each other the chance...” Rosa took another step towards him, their foreheads just inches away from each other. “And you wouldn’t have to snog anyone else”

With a pained expression Draco shook his head. Another wave of disappointment went through Rosa’s stomach. The Slytherin brought his hand to her cheek, caressing it gently. Rosa leaned to the touch, having been craving it for over two weeks now.

“He…” Draco’s voice was barely audible, his voice shaky and weak all of a sudden. “You-Know-Who gave me something to do. I can’t drag you into it, Rosa. It doesn’t matter how I feel, how much I want to snog you into next millennia… We can’t do this, at least for now”

“Let me help you”

“No. I will figure it out. I know you’ll probably get branded eventually, but I’ll do anything for that not to happen”

“Asshole” it was faint, but Draco heard the insult. He brought their foreheads together for a moment, both of them relishing the feeling. “Just… don’t snog other peop--”

“I won’t. I promise”

Their eyes locked, both of them wanting for the moment to be more than it was. Their feelings were conflicted, but on the same page.

“Cross your heart?” Rosa asked.

“We both know you’d kill me yourself” he got a tiny giggle out of her.

+++

_Remus._

_First of all I’m not pregnant. Not even a chance._

_I am sending letters to Tonks. Girl talk. Don’t ask. It’s gross._

_I’m okay._

_\- RD_

_P.S. thanks for coming to the platform… ~~I appreciated that a lot, even though I don’t always show it.~~ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Leave a kudos/bookmark/comment or just have a wonderful day!


	34. Affair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM you didn't expect a quick upload did you?!  
> I honestly just had a huge inspiration and just had to write. Hope you enjoy!

Rosa was lonely. There was no other way of putting it. Draco was ignoring her and pretty much everyone else she didn’t want to be associated with. Professor Snape was pretty much the only one who even entertained the idea of a conversation with her. Rosa came to the conclusion that she got spoiled by constant social interaction last year. 

She kept on writing to Tonks, even Remus every now and then. But it wasn’t the same as talking to Draco face-to-face. She missed him, but forced herself to keep her distance.

She studied, being top of class in pretty much every class. That gave her some entertainment, seeing Granger studying harder and trying to beat her. It was quite amusing, but it also meant that Rosa needed to spend a lot of time in the back of the library between the shelfs.

“Hey there, Dawn” Rosa turned towards the whispered voice. She had just placed her last book back onto the correct shelf in the depths of the library. It was Nott’s hushed voice that had called her. 

“What do you want, Nott?” she asked, immediately suspicious of the brown haired Slytherin. 

“Just a little chat” he said, a smirk on his lips. “I’ve been looking for you only to realize that you are quite difficult to find” 

“Your point being?” 

“Nothing, really… can we find somewhere a bit more private? The subject can be a little delicate and I’d rather not do this in a place that is so cliche” 

“You know that I have a wand, right?” 

“This conversation will not end up with us killing each other, thankfully. I have another kind of ending in mind” 

Rosa looked at him up and down, assessing him. Eventually Rosa shrugged, still wary.  “Lead the way then” Last time she had a conversation with Nott… he had been quite flirtatious. He had asked her out to Hogsmeade, which Rosa had declined. But that was months ago, before the summer. That all was before she was reserved to Draco. 

Lead the way he did, taking Rosa’s hand gently into his and walking out of the library. It was then that Rosa was thankful that it was close to curfew; she didn’t want to imagine the rumours that would ensue from someone seeing her walking hand in hand with Theodore Nott. 

He walked quite slowly, as if he wanted for them to get caught in the corridors. Rosa took her hand back to herself. Nott immediately apologized and elevated his pace to their destination. He opened a door into one of the transfiguration classrooms, locking the door and casting a Muffliato before facing her once more.

“I know you’re reserved to Malfoy, but I’m asking you to give me a chance” he started, whilst Rosa’s eyes widened and her face in complete shock. 

“W-what now?” 

“He’s a man whore, he’d never be faithful to you. And, his family is going to shit! Lucius is in Azkaban, the Malfoys’ rank is diminishing by the second, if you care for status. Nott’s, we’re not Marked, but loyal to the Dark Lord. We’re insiders in the Ministry, our blood is purer than Malfoy’s. Money wise, your inheritance is large, but after my parents pass, I’ll get the Nott estate. With that comes enough money to fund our grandchildren’s grandchildrens’ wildest dreams”

“You’re… you’re asking me to break my reservation” Rosa stated, completely dumbfounded.

“Yes. I’d be the husband you deserve. I’d actually care for you”   


“Draco cares for me--”   


“You really think so? Last I saw him he had his tongue in a ‘claw’s throat” Damn, he was good.

“We have an agreement” Rosa said immediately, surprising herself that she was actually defending Draco’s behaviour. 

Nott scoffed. “And you think when you get married he’s going to keep his promises?”   


“What about you? What I remember of you was you sending the Cruciatus towards my chest. You only became interested after I got some status” that made him laugh.

“And Malfoy didn’t do the exact same thing? At least I’m honest about it. Also, it’s not only status that I’m looking for. I actually think that you’re pretty amazing” 

The confession just made Rosa even more confused. “Liar” Nott chuckled.

“I’m being serious. Like come on, you got beaten the shit out of, completely extruded by the community, fucked over by the Golden boys, have a werewolf for a father, can withstand a bloody Cruciatus and you somehow managed to claw your way to a respectful rank and nail a reservation with someone like Malfoy and keep it even after your Mother was sent to Azkaban. Like isn’t that pretty fucking bad-ass?” he listed, Rosa couldn’t tell if his infatuation was genuine or not. What she did know was that she had never been complimented like that before. No one had ever talked to her in that way before unless it was her father and well, that didn’t count. Thus, it didn’t matter or not, Rosa ate the words up. 

Nott took a generous step forward, closing the distance between them. “How am I not supposed to be turned on by that?” he asked, his eyes noticeably staring down to her lips, only to rise to Rosa’s for a moment. “Can I?” Another thing to add to Rosa’s list of what people had never asked of her before. No one had ever cared for her opinion before. Rosa inhaled loudly, parting her lips. The action Nott interpreted as a yes to his question.  

Before Rosa could register what was happening Nott’s lips were gently gliding over hers and most notably, she was kissing him back; another tick on her list. Rosa closed her eyes relishing the feeling (and she could feel alright). 

Her lips were feeling every inch of his and the tiny swipes of his tongue over them. Hands were roaming, Rosa would get a glimpse of that feeling every couple of seconds. She could deduce that the Slytherin’s hands were running up and down her sides. Whatever they were doing, Rosa couldn’t see as she had closed her eyes long ago, her own hands unmoving after they had made their way around his neck. 

Draco’s lips were so soft, his hair smooth. It was everything she had ever imagined. He wanted her, he loved her. It was written all over his lips. Rosa opened her mouth a little bit more, allowing his tongue to slither it’s way and dance with hers. She had waited for this for too long. And here he was, finally doing what she had begged of him. It was perfection. 

They parted after who knows how long, but kept close. He brought his forehead to hers and she didn’t protest. Their lips met a couple short and sweet pecks as their just stood, breathing the same air. 

Rosa opened her eyes and instead of those piercing blue eyes hitting hers, the eyes that greeted her were bright brown. His hair was brown too instead of the striking platinum blonde she had envisioned in her mind. It wasn’t Draco. 

With a gasp, Rosa came to her senses and pushed Nott off of her. He immediately took another step towards her to bring their bodies back together.    


“Don’t get shy on me now, Dawn” he said with a smirk, his mouth going to her neck, nipping on it. It felt good and butterflies flew in her stomach but… it didn’t feel right.

“Stop” he did so immediately, raising his head to look at her in the eye. He waited for her to speak first. “I can’t”   


“You already did”   


“I can’t do this to Draco” it was another thing to be technically cheating on him, but the feeling of being a hypocrite came upon her. She had told him off about snogging someone else and now she was doing the exact same thing. 

“He’s doing the same thing to you. He’s the unfaithful one. I wouldn’t do that to you”

“I can’t break the reservation” she said for some reason believing his words no matter how wrong they sounded. He wanted her, he actually would want to hold her. Draco sure wanted to do that, but he had refused. Even Tonks had said to move on. 

“Has he ever kissed you like that?” he asked, his eyes once more move on her lips. Rosa shook her head in a moment of honesty. Leaning back in their lips met once more for a moment. 

“Then I’m going to wait for you. Meet me around. I’ll show you. I’ll be better than he’ll ever be” for some reason, Rosa agreed.

That was how their small affair (if one could call it that) started. Rosa started calling him Theo and Theo start calling her Rosa. The pair met up in empty classrooms, alcoves and broom closets. Their conversations were short and meaningless, everytime ending with a snogging session. Everytime Rosa envisioned that it was Draco kissing him, once almost moaning his name onto Theo’s lips. And every single time, she felt horrible afterwards. But she kept on going back to him… only because that was the closest she could get to actually kissing the person she wanted to. It was a stupid fantasy, but… Theo was there and he wanted her. At the moment that was enough Rosa. 

Draco and her were ignoring each other, the boy had offhandedly said something about trying to get rid of those feelings. They were taking space away from each other, but Rosa felt guilty not talking to him at all. He was losing weight, the dark circles underneath his eyes growing. Rosa knew it had something to do with whatever Voldemort had ordered him to do. It worried her too much.

Halloween passed with not much action, Rosa had spent the evening in the broom closet with a certain Slytherin. Just before curfew she walked into the Gryffindor common room. She glanced to the fireplace out of habit, seeing the Golden Trio hanging out together on their regular seats. Rosa kept on walking towards the stairs to the dorms.

“Dawn” Potter called beckoning her to come and talk to the small group. With wary steps she walked to them, not sitting down on the armchair she often sat on last year. Potter looked at her with strong eyes, the expression on his face when he wants to know something.   


“Do you know personal things about Malfoy?” he asked. Rosa’s eyebrows shot up slightly in surprise. She shrugged. “Like if he has the Mark” her jaw dropped, her eyes widened.

“I told him it’s ridiculous” Granger said, her arms folded. “You’re just obsessed, Harry” 

“I know he’s up to something! He wouldn’t just be hanging about in Borgin and Burkes” 

“Late night shopping” Granger suggested. 

“Potter” Rosa finally intervened, “Malfoy turned sixteen during the summer. You-Know-Who is not interested in teenagers” she tried finding the most logical lie in her brain to keep Draco’s secrets. 

“What about you?” he shot back. 

Rosa scoffed to amplify the drama and she was a good actress. “When was the last time you met a person who was practically immune to most offensive spells, Potter? Voldemort asked to recruit you when you were eleven, no? There are exceptions to those who are different. Dra-- Malfoy is not an exception, just a child of a Death Eater. He’ll get his Mark after he turns seventeen” 

“See, mate?” Weasley gestured towards Rosa as if she was the best source to get the answers from. “Nothing to worry about”   


“But he keeps on disappearing on the Map!” Potter exclaimed all of a sudden. 

Rosa’s heart went to her throat. “Map?” she questioned immediately. “Is this the thing that you use to find people?” The Trio looked uncomfortable, eyeing each other out to see if they should tell her or not. “Show me. Now” Rosa ordered. 

Potter sighed and got out a piece of parchment from behind the pillow he was previously leaning on. He also got out his wand and with a final quick look at Rosa he put it on top of the parchment. “I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good” 

Suddenly ink started pouring onto the parchment, making out lines and rooms and… names with footprints. Rosa saw the Gryffindor common room, multiple footsteps around there, her name beside a photo of footsteps, Granger, Potter, Weasley. Finnegan’s footsteps were moving, coming through the alcove into the Common Room. Turning towards it, Rosa sae Finnegan himself, out of breath coming stepping in. He mumbled something about Mrs. Norris following him around. Rosa turned back to the trio.

“It shows… everyone?” she asked for clarification. 

Potter nodded. “And Malfoy keeps on disappearing” 

Rosa grabbed the piece of parchment, finding the dungeons and locating Draco’s quarters at the very bottom of the parchment. He was in bed. 

“There” she pointed at the parchment. 

“I know. He goes there everyday, sleeps alone. But after classes he disappears and I can never see where he disappears from” Rosa’s brows furrowed. She folded the map, looking for the seventh floor. With a quick look she confirmed that the Room of Requirement wasn’t there. Folding the paper once more she gave it back to Potter, making the conscious decision not to tell him about her quick revelation. He was already too deep into Draco’s business, only thing she needed to know now was if he was too deep in hers.

“Is Malfoy the only person you follow?” she asked, her tone accusing.

“If you’re referring to your escapades with Nott, I have no interest in that” Rosa’s heart started beating too quickly. 

“Potter. If anyone finds out--”   


“Don’t worry. Like I said, I have no interest in your relationships” 

Rosa nodded but added, “Just know that you guys don’t have the best track record what comes to keeping secrets. If this comes out I’ll know who to behead”   


“You know you promised to kill me if I ever meddled with your business after Christmas. I expected you to beat me up after the Ministry… You never did. I’m starting to think that your threats are empty” he said, challenging her. 

_ I already killed your godfather, thought beating you up at that point was pretty pointless. _

_ That’s a mean thought. You’re a fucking murderer. Remember that. _

“Back off, mate” Weasley butted in, not liking the fact that Harry and Rosa didn’t get along at all. Even for him their feud was going too far. He hadn’t liked Rosa, he still doesn’t, but he didn’t want either of them to start attacking each other.

“Just know, Potter. If we meet on the battleground you want to shoot me down first” Rosa took a couple steps backwards, giving Granger a good glare. Granger herself was looking quite helpless, an expression that didn’t suit her. She could understand Rosa, but her loyalties were with Potter, Rosa knew that.

Rosa finally turned since no one else and anything to say. Instead of heading towards the girl’s dormitory, she walked straight out of the alcove, straight to the dungeons and towards Draco’s quarters. 

“Hi there, beautiful” Rosa flinched slightly at the familiar voice and at the touch as Nott’s arms came to wrap around her midsection. 

“Theo--”   


“You don’t need to come down here to get a snog session out of me, you know. I’m a prefect now, since Draco gave up his duties. I get off with shit now.” He was whispering into her ear, his mouth moving to plant kisses onto her neck and shoulder. 

“Theo, I can’t do this now” she said gently prying his hands off of her. “Tomorrow?” she suggested. 

“What are you doing down here?” he asked, moving so that he was facing her.

“I need to talk to Draco”   


“About?” he pried, curious.

“Theo” she warned. He put his arms up in innocence.

“Sorry, overstepping, I know. Tomorrow, after dinner then” he smirked, and brought his mouth to hers quickly, making sure to let his hands linger for a little too long on her cheek. He was the first one to back off and walk away to resume his prefect duties. He didn’t disappear into the shadows without a suggestive wink. 

Rosa looked to the ground, gathered her thoughts and took the familiar turns to Draco’s room. She didn’t step in without knocking this time. The door wasn’t locked, but Rosa was still scared that she would find Draco there snogging up another girl. She knew how damn hypocritical that was and she did hate herself for that. 

Draco was sitting on his bed, his eyes scanning the pages of the book in his hands. He looked tired, like he wanted to sleep but refused it. 

“What is it?” he asked immediately when he heard the door creak. His eyes didn’t move an inch.

“Potter’s onto you” she just stated after which she closed the door and walked deeper into the door. Draco closed to book immediately with a satisfying pop.

“ _ What _ ?” he asked. Rosa could see the raw fear in his eyes.

“He has a map, he can practically see where anyone is at anytime. You’re disappearing too often. I know… the Room of Requirement isn’t on the map. That’s where you’re going right?” 

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT!” his eyes were going everywhere at the same time, moving about as his thoughts raced.

“Draco. Breathe” Rosa brought her hand to his shoulder like he so often had done to her. He nodded, swallowed audibly and took a moment to get himself together. “He thinks you have the Mark. I told him that the Dark Lord doesn’t want teenagers. Keep your sleeves down, firmly. Go to the Room only when you know for a fact that he’s not looking at you. When he’s got classes, Quidditch practise, games… stuff like that” 

“Fuck” he swore again, looking completely helpless.

“Draco what’s happening?” Rosa asked, extremely concerned.

He shook his head. “It’s none of your concern” he just answered. 

“Idiot” Rosa said under her breath, but made sure that he would hear the insult. “I’ll make sure to tell you if Potter is more onto you. Just be careful, ok?” 

He raised his eyes to Rosa’s now, calm and nodding. “Thanks”   


“I told you I could help if you let me” he shook his head stubbornly, she rolled her eyes. “So ignoring each other is the answer?” 

“Rosa, you know why”    


“Yeah. I do. And I still think it’s bullshit” he scoffed slightly. 

“Of course you would” 

A silence ensued, Draco gathered his thoughts panic still lingering in his mind. He knew what he had to do. The silence itself wasn’t awkward but filled with something…

“How can you… How can you stand this?” Rosa knew that he’d understand that she didn’t mean the whole Death Eater thing. 

“Girls” he said honestly. Rosa thought about Theo and how she was using him the same way Draco was using the endless amount of girls. She nodded, understanding a little. 

“Have you… after we had the fight?” it had been what, a month? Month and a half? since they talked like this, since their argument. Time flew, but clearly their relationship was still growing its wings.

“No” he was being honest, Rosa could tell.

Nodding she wanted to change him now. The guilt was building in her stomach. “You should”   


“What?” he exclaimed, completely shocked by Rosa’s sudden change of heart. 

“I’ve been thinking and I get it. Why you do it. I think I overreacted, and I’m sorry for it”   


“You’re not making sense, Rosa Dawn”   


“Draco. I see a blond guy walking around, and I want to snog their face off. I get it, the fantasy. I think you should… forget about the whole fight”   


“Who have you been snogging, Rosa?” his voice wasn’t angry. She knew him well enough to read through his bullshit. 

“No one” she lied. 

“If you lie to me now, and I later find out--”   


“No one. I’m not seeing anyone” Rosa said immediately, not wanting to hear the rest of the sentence. Lying was the easy way out. I mean, fucking hell, she had just kissed Theo on the way here! “Fuck” she mouthed silently.

“Good. Neither am I” he said, nodding. 

“Just know that I’m ok if--”   


“Don’t lie to me, Rosa Dawn. It upsets you.” he shrugged. 

Rosa kept her eyes on her feet. She didn’t even want to know if it would upset him if the roles were reversed. “Just know you have the option to” 

“I think I’ll stick with my hand for now” 

“That’s disgusting” Draco laughed a little at Rosa’s mortified expression. 

Another silence ensued, one that Rosa was eager to break.

“Does that mean you want me?” their eyes met his.

“Rosa” his tone was warning, this was a question he didn’t want to answer. 

“Do you want me, Draco? I know you like me but do you _want_ me?”

“If I say ‘yes’ you’ll expect me to act on it, which you know I won’t. If I say ‘no’ you’d get upset because you know it’s not the truth” he explained.

“Okay” she stood up from the bed. That was the bit that made Draco more confused than anything.

“You’re not staying the night?” he asked, brows furrowed. 

“It came to my attention that friends don’t cuddle” Rosa said, slightly saddened by the fact. 

“Oh. You could… tell me that you’ve been having nightmares. Or that you wanted someone to hold you… I told you that I would if you needed--” he rambled.

“Draco. Like you said. Either you want me fully or you don’t want me at all. I can’t be in the gray area again, where you like me but won’t pursue me… I can’t” 

Draco gave him that look again, where all Rosa wanted to do was to kiss his face off. Only he needed to be replaced by Nott for that fantasy to come true. He nodded. Rosa nodded back, the air now expectant for either of them to do anything.

“Good night” Rosa said, turning around and walking to the door. 

“Sleep well, Rosa Dawn” she stepped out, closed the door behind him. Fucking hell, she needed to get out of here. 

Walking through the dungeons, Rosa elevated her speed with every step she took. She felt like crying, betraying Draco whilst not doing so at the same time. What she was doing was lying to him, she had promised not to. 

“Fuck!” she swore, out loud this time.    


“Are you alright?” it was Theo. Because of course it was Theo. Rosa groaned in frustration, pushed the boy against the wall, closing the distance between their bodies. Theo definitely wasn’t opposing.

“Tell me you want me” Rosa’s eyes were already closed, her fantasy already playing in her mind.

“I want you” Theo came to press a kiss on her neck. “Gosh, I want you, Rosa” his voice wasn’t even close to Draco’s but it was enough. No one had wanted her like this before, the feeling taking over.  Rosa pressed her lips hard onto his. Not letting the tears fall, she just dreamed that the boy she was snogging had blond hair and grey eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know, I'm sorry.
> 
> Thanks for reading please let me know what you think!  
> Leave a bookmark/comment/kudos or just have a lovely day!!


	35. Speaking of Slytherins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH. That's how I feel at the moment. I really struggled with this chapter for some reason, I just want he characters to be where I want them for the story lines I have in mind for the future, which is making my life difficult for now. That is also why it's been a little while since my last update, the next chapter should be easier to write for me (thank God).  
> Just going to drop this here as well, I just passed 200 pages of story which is ridiculous! Thanks to everyone again for their constant support and comments and kudos! Love yall!

“Miss Dawn, the Headmaster has asked for your presence” Professor Snape scowled on his way to his spot on the teacher’s table in the Great Hall.  He didn’t seem happy to have to make a stop at the Gryffindor table.

“Regarding what?” Rosa asked, confused, leaning back to look at the teacher’s table; Dumbledore was eating and conversing with Professor McGonagall. 

“I believe that is for you to find out” with that he whipped his robes around, strutting to his own seat. Rosa in her turn, took a few steps before taking wary steps to the Headmaster’s throne. 

“You asked for me?” 

“Ah, yes, Miss Dawn. There is a letter for you. From Azkaban” Rosa’s cheeks paled immediately. “You must understand why they sent it to me first” he leaned to give the envelope to her; the seal was still intact.

“Have you read it?” Rosa asked, curious.

“No, I have not. But I hope if there’s anything distressing there you’d let us know. And I’d like you to read it here. Just in case” he smiled the way Rosa didn’t trust. She broke the seal and got the piece of parchment out.

 

_ Rosa.  _

_ You-Know-Who demands for your presence in the Christmas Malfoy Ball. You know what to do and how to prepare.  _

_ MSD. _

 

Rosa looked for the candle that was nearest and lowest, hovering the piece of parchment on top, letting it catch fire. As the parchment turned to ash, Rosa was desperately trying to keep her face natural in front of the Headmaster and the Professors. Dropping the letter, she stomped the flame out before finally taking her wand out and vanishing the ashes.

“Anything distressing?” Dumbledore asked, quirking one of his brows.

“Not at all”

“Why burn it?” Rosa’s smile did not waver, though she realized her mistake.

“Precautions.”   


“Hmmhm” he had a twinkle in his eye Rosa didn’t trust.

“Good day, Headmaster” she said with the fakest smile she had ever out on and returning to her lonely seat on the golden Gryffindor table. 

She grabbed her fork with her obviously shaking hand, trying to act like she was happily eating and not fifteen seconds away from a panic attack. Rosa knew she had to finish her plate not to look  suspicious in the eyes of the Headmaster. Grudgingly and slowly, she did. 

Immediately after swallowing her last piece of chicken, Rosa practically dashed out of the Hall. Her emotions were stripped down on the way, peeler to a single one: fear.

Last year’s Ball hadn’t gone well, furthermore what happened after… Rosa barricaded herself into the nearest broom closet and for the first time in ages other than in her dreams, she was unable to keep the bad memories at bay.

 

_ The room was dark as always, this time Rosa was shaking violently, staring at the ceiling. Her new scars were bleeding, the pop of apparition of the elf leaving was still echoing in her head. Her breath was shivering and rough from the screams of agony she had let out whenever a curse or a belt had hit her skin. _

_ She never knew how long she had been laying there. Something that felt like a minute could’ve been an hour, an hour could’ve been five. Had the year changed? Had people at Hogwarts noticed her absence? She did not know.  _

_ There was a sudden hassle upstairs. There was a lot of shouting, Rosa could make out a couple of incantations. There were multiple sets of footsteps, most of them running around. She heard the door to the basement creaking open. _

_ Rosa tried to crane her head to see who she assumed to be the intruders, but the pain in her neck from a new scar was like fire, stopping her from completing the action.  _ _   
_

_ “Anyone in the room, show yourself!” the command came from on top of the stairs. It was a female, Rosa could see her Lumos charm from the corner of her eye. _

_ “I’m here” Rosa creaked with her broken voice.  _

_ “Show yourself!” the stranger commanded once more. _

_ “I ca-can’t move-e” Rosa cried, her heart now unnervingly beating too fast. The ball of light from the Lumos charm travelled towards her until it was couple feet above Rosa, she had to close her eyes because the light was straining her eyes.  _

_ The woman’s footsteps were wary, expecting an attack. She stopped once she saw Rosa, her face completely unrecognizable, the mattress on which she was laying on completely red from dried and fresh blood. Rosa was practically half-naked, her t-shirt ripped and pretty much gone, her shorts were pretty much the same. Gasping at the sight, the woman ran to her. _

_ “What is your name?” she questioned whilst sending a nonverbal patronus upstairs. _

_ “Ro-sa Dawn-n” Rosa creaked, her face trying to ask nonverbally who she was. _

_ Apparently the message went through, “My name is Cecilia. I’m an Auror, we’re here to help you. Someone in the house sent out a distress--” _ _   
_

_ “GREGG! What are you--” it was a man, shouting from on top of the stairs, but silenced himself after taking a few steps downwards and actually seeing into the room. _

_ “Daughter of the household. We need to get her to St. Mungo’s” _ _   
_

_ “I’ll call up a nurse who can apparate her” _ _   
_

_ “Sir, she can’t even move”  _

_ “What else are our options, Gregg? A nurse can safely transport her” _ _   
_

_ “P-please” Rosa begged, she just wanted out. If she couldn’t get out, then the Aurors could just kill her there and then. The pain in her body was numbing, her skin feeling like the cruciatus was still there. It was simple agony. _

 

“Rosa. Wake up” it was Draco’s voice that got Rosa away from the memory. Blinking a couple of times, his face formed and she was pulled into reality. 

“I don’t want to go back, Draco. I don’t want to go back” crying and mumbling, Draco’s hands came to hold hers gently. 

“What did the letter say, Rosa Dawn?” he asked before even asking about her wellbeing. 

“He-- He wants me t-there… a-at the-- the Ball” she stuttered, letting fear and panic take over once more. 

“No” Draco just let out, understanding that no one could refuse the Dark Lord’s will.

“He-- He’s expecting me-e” she was now struggling to breathe properly.  

“Ok… Don’t worry. I-- I’ll figure this out. Breathe, Rosa”   


“No, Draco. I’m… I’m scared”  

“You have to be there, but that doesn’t mean you will be marked” Rosa’s brows furrowed slightly.   


“How am I even-- I’m supposed to stay in the Castle for Christmas”   


“You need a plan, Rosa. We’ll figure it out”

 

+++

 

_ Hi. _

_ So I was just wondering… could I spend the holidays with you? And Tonks obviously if… I don’t really know what your living arrangements are. Also when I say that I don’t mean the Burrow, I mean… home? Am I allowed to call it home, your place?  _

_ Anyway, let me know.  _

_ RD _

 

\--

 

_ Rosa. _

_ Good to hear from you again! We’re all good, just working our asses off as normal. I put a copy of the Prophet for you with a small news clipping about one of my raids!  How’s the boy trouble, I’m assuming ok, since you haven’t mentioned it.  _

_ Also, the real reason why I’m writing this letter is quite simple. Although I appreciate you writing to Remus immensely, how about you try not to make him cry with one of your letters. Just saying. _

_ Good luck with your exams. _

_ Dora Tonks _

 

\--

 

_ Yes. It’s home to you too. Always. I’ll see you in the platform. _

_ I love you.  _

_ Dad. _

 

It was manipulative and cruel, Rosa knew that. The guilt amplified as she read through the letters. She had felt horrible sending the letter in the first place. Getting two letters back was just a stab in the heart. 

Walking back from the owlery, Rosa tried to ignore people’s stares. She wondered what was the reason for them this time. Parkinson walked by her, glaring. It shouldn’t’ve been anything new, but… normally Parkinson would not even give her a second glance. This time she actually just stared at her as she passed and without a snarky comment too! 

Rosa whipped herself around. “What’s your problem, Parkinson?” she asked the Slytherin   who stopped on her tracks.

“Excuse me?” Parkinson turned to face her, offended. “You of all people dare to--”   


“What’s the rumour?” Rosa cut to the chase, not wanting to listen to her little rant about how Rosa was not worthy, blah blah.    


“Oh, please. As if it were a rumour. Come on, wasn’t breaking one Greengrass’ reservation enough for you? I get that you’re a slut and all, but you seriously have to go chasing other people’s men?”   


“Who are you talking about?”   


“Theo, duh. He’s practically drooling at your feet. Though… according to his stories you’re the one on their knees” she raised her eyebrows, challenging the Gryffindor. 

“Theo--”   


“Oh, so, it’s  _ Theo _ now? I always thought you were strictly on surname basis” she smirked in victory. 

“Who knows?” Rosa asked, her heart beating rapidly.

“I think the question you want an answer to is, who believes him” 

“All the same, spit it out, Parkinson” Rosa was scowling though inside she felt a slight panic rising. Would Draco believe the rumour?   
The Slytherin scoffed, “I don’t know. All Slytherins know of it” Rosa nodded, thinking for a moment.

“Do I need to remind you which curses I’m adequate in?”   


“Don’t worry, none of us are excited to offend you into killing ourselves. We enjoy rumours, or... well… facts. Just because you’re knee deep in the Dark Lord’s business doesn’t mean that we would skip on indulging us with your mess of a life. Plus… you’re a Slytherin at heart, you don’t have the balls to throw an AK at one of us in Hogwarts. I’d prepare myself if I were you. There’s a tradition on its way” she turned around with a suggestive eyebrow raise that made Rosa pale. 

Her priorities for the day changed dramatically. Instead of wailing in self guilt for the rest of her Saturday, she decided to actually do something; find Theo was on the top of her list. Talking to Draco was a far second; she’d rather skip that conversation.

Thankfully, finding Theo was not too difficult. He would often sit in one of the empty dungeons, notebook on his lap and a quill elegantly moving in his hands. Never did Rosa ask what he was writing, just hoped that it wasn’t anything like a diary.

“Theo” she called for him, his eyes raising to her immediately. He smirked, happy to see her (and what would result from their meeting) “Are you telling people that we’re shagging?” Rosa shot at him, towering over him as he was still sitting down legs crossed. 

He let out a laugh. A laugh! 

Rosa’s eyebrows shot up (very much like Parkinson’s had) in offense immediately. Theo at least had the ability to notice it. Standing up, he shrugged.

“Can’t I brag a bit?” 

“No!” she flinched slightly when she heard her exclamation echoing along the halls. “We haven’t even-- I’m reserved!” she exclaimed, only this time with lowered volume. 

The boy dared to roll his eyes. “Come on, Rosa! It’s so entertaining to watch Malfoy squirming everytime I mention--”   


“This was supposed to be a secret!”   


“No one’s actually believing me. I just have fun with Malfoy is all” 

“Stop it” Rosa commanded, he took a step towards Rosa, closing the distance between them. The Gryffindor did not waver her glare.

Theo smiled, staring at her fondly, “Please? You have no idea how fun it is to see Malfoy steaming whenever I tell him what your mouth can do” Rosa was pretty sure she was looking quite similar to the angry Malfoy.

“My mouth has been strictly above neck what comes to your body. Your mouth won’t come near mine any time soon” she spat at her.

He kept on laughing slightly, moving one of his hands to wrap around Rosa’s waist whilst the other came to cup her cheek. “You can’t resist me” he started leaning in. Immediately Rosa took a step back, peeling Theo’s hands off of her body. She didn’t want him; if her fantasy wasn’t there kissing the boy wasn’t really something she would want to do. He looked perplexed by the rejection. 

“I will not let you touch me if you continue this shit. I won’t have you hurting Dr-- Malfoy” Theo let out a weird sound of realization. 

“You actually care for him” Rosa took another step back. “Don’t you?” 

“I’ve known him long enough not to want to hurt him. Why do you think I accepted his reservation?”    


“So you cared for Crabbe too?” he challenged. 

Huffing now, Rosa found herself in a dead end. “No”

“This just poses a question… why are you snogging  _ me _ ?” his smirk was still there, feeling like he had found a goldmine of information. 

“Me and Malfoy are at an agreement” she said, tried coming up with a quick excuse.

“So why is this a secret then?” 

“Fuck you” 

“Well, the plan is quite the opposite really” at that comment, Rosa felt like slapping the boy. “How about this, I keep my mouth shut and we keep our…  _ arrangement  _ the same? Am I not better than Malfoy? Haven’t I given you so much more than he has?” 

_ No. You have not. _

“If I hear another rumour--”   


“You won’t. Promise” Rosa nodded slightly. “Close your eyes” he told her, she furrowed her brows. “Please?” Rosa didn’t follow his request. 

“Why?” she demanded. 

“You never keep your eyes open when I kiss you” he cocked his head to its side, waiting for her to finally close her eyes. She eventually did, imagining Draco was the one coming to kiss her, like she always did.

Instead of going for the lips, Theo’s own attacked Rosa’s neck. Starting out slowly, Rosa moved her head to give him more space. Then he sucked and bit down, surprising Rosa to the point that she gasped, opening her eyes and stepping away from him.

“No?” Theo asked, a slight concern edging his voice. 

“No.” she agreed. 

“Okay. I’m sorry” he took a step forward once more, pecking her lips gently as a gesture of his apology.

“I should go” Rosa said her mood lowered significantly.

“I’ll see you Tuesday after dinner?” he suggested, smirking. Rosa nodded in agreement before backing away from the dungeon and starting to make her way towards the Gryffindor tower. It didn’t feel right finding Draco right after snogging one of his friends. 

Looking through the windows, Rosa saw the clear snow still falling to the grounds. It was clear and beautiful, but it also brought up another layer of fear in her. Snow meant that Christmas was nearing, which meant that she would have to face Voldemort. The idea alone was terrifying. 

She noticed kids running about, walking and grinning, definitely happy from their Hogsmeade visit that Rosa did not want to attend. She saw Slughorn walking into one of the carriages, that alone was enough of a reason not to go. Something about the Professor irked her the wrong way. Truly, she just didn’t want to go, Slughorn was just an excuse. 

She decided though, to get some fresh air on her way and walk by the quad. The air was fresh and frozen, that she thoroughly enjoyed. She didn’t let herself smile though. Weather wasn’t good enough reason to when everything else was going to shit. 

Walking past the transfiguration classroom, Rosa distinctly heard the voices of the Golden Trio laced together with Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape. Curious, she sneaked towards the classroom listening in on their ongoing conversation. 

“--Miss Bell is lucky to be alive” Professor Snape stated whilst everyone else stayed quiet. Rosa’s eyes widened in confusion of the teacher’s words. 

“It was Malfoy” that was Potter, Rosa didn’t even need to recognize the voice to know whose mouth those words left from. 

“That is a serious accusation, Mr. Potter!” The older Professor exclaimed. 

“Do you have any proof, Potter, that Malfoy is behind this attack?” Snape asked, a clear disgust in his tone. Rosa stood there frozen, not wanting to listen further and needing to hear the rest of the conversation at the same time. 

“No. I just know” Rosa wanted to slap the boy but the timing seemed off. Hearing footsteps, she decided to quickly leave the scene and change her plans. She started walking towards the exact same place she had just left from, deciding that she would have to meet up with Draco after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading as always!!
> 
> Leave a kudos/comment/bookmark or just have a lovely day!!


	36. Safety Through Murder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyy hello!  
> Once more I bring you a chapter that I was quite happy writing! I'm like super excited for the next 3-4 chapters so I should be quick-ish with those uploads.   
> This fic also just hit 2000 hits so thank you again to literally everyone reading this little thing, I appreciate every single click. Hope you enjoy this chapter too!

“Is it true?” barging into Draco’s quarters and slamming the door shut behind her. When she had been walking towards the cozy room, the feeling of fear and anger grew within her. Draco had a mission, that was all Rosa knew of his latest activities. Almost killing Katie Bell could fit into his mission, but… Rosa didn’t want to believe that he would actually do something like that.

Draco was biting his nails and pacing the room, looking quite distressed which just added to Rosa’s bad feeling. No Malfoy would ever bite their nails. He stopped pacing when he heard the slamming of the door, his thumb still firmly between his lips. Draco flinched much like Rosa so often did at the loud sound, his eyes widened slightly in shock.

“Is it true?!” Rosa yelled the question out this time, fearing the answer. He looked guilty that was for sure; he was practically shaking and nervous like he was about to get caught stealing. 

“Wh-- What are you talking about?” his voice cracked, he quickly cleared his throat to sound a bit more like himself. To Rosa he didn’t only behave oddly, his whole appearance was off; she quickly pinned it on the fact that she had never seen a Malfoy seem weak. Even when Draco got his Mark, he hadn’t cried, he had kept his posture. Right now, hee was practically moving and acting like… well, like a peasant. 

“Katie Bell” Rosa kept her stern tone, trying to ignore the peculiarity of the situation. Upon hearing the name of the injured Gryffindor, Draco immediately flinched and Rosa could see the panic rise in him.

Stomping to her and grabbing Rosa’s upper arms, looking at her like a madman who was just given a death sentence. “What do you know?” feeling quite uncomfortable with Draco in this state, Rosa had to take a moment before answering. “Is she alive?!” Draco shouted at her face.

“Y-Yes” the blonde let out a large relieved breath out. In turn Rosa let out one of surprise and slight disgust. “It’s true” she stated in disbelief. 

“What do you know?! H-How?! I was so caref--”   


“What did you do?” 

“I--”   


“Don’t you fucking dare say that you can’t tell me” Rosa cut him off once more, her anger growing wilder each second. 

Draco silenced himself, ignoring the comment she made. “How do you know?” he pleaded.

“I overheard the Golden Trio talking, they accused you of attacking Bell! Snape and McGonagall were there, the word will go around, Draco. What the fuck were you thinking?!”

“Shit. Fuck! SHIT!”

“What did you do?!” 

“I’m just trying-- He’ll kill y-- He’ll kill me!” he shouted, horror edging his tone. To that statement Rosa couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t try to talk him out of it, since it would mean his death; the one death Rosa didn’t even want to hypothesize. That including Remus. But that was beside the point.

“You’re… you’re not trying to kill Katie Bell are you?” she asked, her tone now completely changed, mirroring the frightfulness of Draco’s. 

He only shook his head as an answer, Rosa nodded in turn trying to relish the silence between them. 

“Wh-- Who…?” Rosa started, but in her cowardice, couldn’t finish the question. 

Draco immediately started shaking his head, “I can’t, Rosa” 

With her frustration growing, she hit his chest with her fist limply, annoyed that she couldn’t put her irritation to words. 

“I’m-- Rosa…” he eventually took her hands into hers just to restrict her painless hits. “What… What does it feel like?” his eyes were begging for an answer, one that Rosa knew a little too well. “I know it’s not the same… but after… what does it feel like?” 

For the first time in their small conversation, Rosa moved to sit down on the bed. She got off her shoes and crossed her legs, for good measure she also grabbed a pillow to hug. Draco followed her actions, though he skipped the pillow hugging. 

“Killing someone… it’s-- do you really need to--”   


“Please” the look in his face was pathetic. 

Taking a deep breath, Rosa tried to answer in the best of her ability, “You’ll hate yourself… after. It’s a different kind of hate… Like... I’ve called my Father a monster multiple times… but… I couldn’t come up with a more perfect definition for the word than ‘me’ after killing my own godfather” Rosa could feel a lump in her throat; it had been a while since she had talked about Sirius at all. During the summer and fall, she’d just mostly suppress every emotion she got after his name popped up in her head. 

“You’re forgetting that Lupin deserves--”

“Don’t. Please, don’t. I know he wasn’t a good Father, he has lied and deceived me. I know. It’s just…--”   


“He’s still your Father” Draco finished the sentence for her. In that moment she understood that he could relate to the feeling. How many times had he listened to her ranting about Remus without even mentioning Lucius and Narcissa. 

“Your parents… are quite...--”   


“Despicable” Draco said, clear hatred in his voice. He scowled, his teeth showing. “My Father is, at least. Mum is different, but she leeches on Father… she’s still in love with him” His eyes lowered in shame.

“Do you still love him? Your Father?” he scoffed at the question.

“You love Lupin, Rosa Dawn” he answered the question he was sure Rosa wanted to know the answer to rather than the one she had actually asked. 

“I think loved my godfather too”   


“What?” Draco questioned curiously, completely out of it. In his book the two had barely talked, which was technically true. 

“In a way, I did. He would… call me ‘kid’ and he tried to get me and Remus closer… He related to me, I think. And he talked to me. Helped me and Remus. I think… I don’t know if it was love, a different kind of love, but it similar to what I feel when I talk to Tonks. But...--”   


“You won’t kill her, or Lupin” Draco butted in immediately when he understood where Rosa’s train of thought was heading. 

“My Mother wanted me to kill Remus that day. She couldn’t see him, so she picked out the next best thing. I could’ve--”   


“Don’t think like that--”   


“The point is that I killed someone anyway!” Rosa raised her volume, quite annoyed by the fact that he was constantly interrupting her. “As long as there is someone to care for there is a person I could kill and feel like a monster afterwards” 

Draco understood. “Rosa… they’re not someone I really… care about in that sense”   


“Who’s the person you hate the most in this world?” Rosa suddenly shot him the question.

He shrugged, “I don’t know” 

“Just pick someone you really don’t like. Anyone, come on--”   


“Dumbledore” he blurted out, since it was the first name that came to mind. “Or Potter. They’re one and the same really” his neutral face was frowning now. 

“Fine. How would you feel if Potter died?” 

He shrugged once more.

“What about Dumbledore?”   


“I don’t know, it wouldn’t be a huge change in my life now would it?” he was growing irritated. 

“And what if Potter died  _ because _ of you? How would you feel?” Right away his face softened significantly. 

“I-- I must’ve had a good reason--”   


“You were ordered” it was Rosa’s turn to butt in and cut him off, extending the hypothetical story.

“I…” Draco was rendered pretty much speechless trying to think through the emotions whirling through his head.

“A living being. Dead. A soul destroyed. There’s a heart no longer beating. A person. Dead in a ditch. Because of you” 

A silence ensued that Draco wasn’t eager to break. He saw the Gryffindor’s eyes glimmering as if she was holding back crying. The air was stubborn, the silence ugly. 

Rosa was biting her teeth together trying to keep the last piece of her integrity - as if she had any left. How many times had she cried in front of him whilst he had a brand in his arm and a mission to finish. She was pathetic, more than he was. 

Sirius was dead. Rosa’s breath hitched at the mere thought. She wanted to fantasize Sirius alive, talking to her, mocking her and after they would laugh together. But the fantasy was… painful, it was different. It wasn’t like she could just talk to someone, close her eyes and imagine it was Sirius like she was currently doing with Nott. 

“This is what it feels like” Rosa said out of the blue. “I can’t imagine it away. I can’t magix it away. Sirius is dead--”   


“Breathe” he had to remind her, his hand coming up to cup her cheek quickly, but Rosa swatted it away just as quickly. 

“No. If you’re going to… Draco, please don’t go through with it--”   


“Rosa--”   


“I’ll do it for you. I don’t care who it is. My… my hand is already bloody, there’s no reason why yours should be soaked too” 

“This is my mission” he stood up, clearly angry by what she was suggesting, “It is mine. I don’t need your help!” yelling, his eyes reddening with saddened fury. “I was chosen for it! It’s me who will see it through!” Rosa looked up at him, confused at his sudden outburst. 

She took a moment, thinking. Draco just waited for her to respond, not wanting to continue his rant seeing it as unnecessary; his point had gone across.

“What would you be doing now if you killed Katie Bell?” she shot at him, not malicious at all, just stating the question like she would ask how his day was. 

“That’s not something to think about right now” he instantly shot back, wanting to just brush off the whole idea.

“That’s exactly what we should be thinking about! What if this happens again--”   


“It won’t” 

“She almost died! She’s laying, unconscious on a bed in St. Mungo’s, her soul barely hanging onto her body because of you! You don’t know what it feels like to actually rip someone’s soul out of them - and you were too near in doing just that, Draco!” Rosa ranted, not wanting for him to go through all the shit she was going through. Sure, she hadn’t heard that much about where Bell was or in what kind of condition she was in, but the white lies got her point across quite efficiently.

“The point is, it didn’t happen. It’s not relevant! This is my time to prove to the Dark Lord that I’m--”   


“Who’s side are you on?” Rosa asked, slowly getting afraid of him. He knew that Voldemort was bad, right? Draco froze completely as if he had suddenly realized who he was talking to.

“I’m on the side that’ll keep y-- me alive. If I don’t do this, He’ll kill me, Rosa Dawn” Rosa noticed the small blunder in his words but didn’t pay it much attention. She could see the impending lie on his face, even Draco knew that she could see through his words.

“Katie Bell is an innocent. Are you not at all concerned--”   


“YOU KNOW I AM!” he roared, Rosa violently flinched and her hands squeezed the pillow in her lap tighter. Draco’s expression was of immediate quilt when he saw her reaction. “It’s not relevant, Rosa Dawn. She’s not dead, someone else should be. I failed already I need to get my head straight” he explained his actions.

“You’re going to try again?” Rosa looked at him like he was absolutely insane.

“Not the same way obviously--”   


“If you want to kill someone you AK them in the back not go through fifteen middlemen” Rosa said, horrified by the idea that someone else - an innocent - would get killed by Draco’s ridiculous assassination trials. Though… the person he was trying to kill was most likely an innocent themselves.

“You lecturing me about this is like… Like…” Rosa could see that he knew what he wanted to say, he had an insult ready on the tip of his tongue, only thinking if it was too cruel to say out loud. Rosa knew that face; the last time she saw it was the beginning of last year when the Slytherins had “pranked” her by throwing insults at her. 

Ignoring the painful memory, “Like what?” she challenged, wanting to see if he had changed at all in the past year. 

He looked at her, considering before making up his mind, “Like me prodding into your business by pointing out…--” he wavered, looking down to the ground with an expression that was somewhere between sadness and regret. 

“Spit it out” Rosa demanded and saw anger flash through his eyes before the previous expression took over again. Rosa got a bad feeling.

“Like me pointing out that hickey on your neck” 

The world stopped spinning, gravity seized to exist. Her heart became an unbeating lump. She refused to let a gasp leave her throat, instead she let a confused expression take over that quite well emulated the shock that made its way through her body.

“W-What--”   


“Don’t. Please don’t lie to me, Rosa Dawn” he begged, looking quite crushed. “It’s not my place to prod into your business like its not yours to prod into mine. You didn’t promise anything to me--”   


“It’s not what you think it is” Rosa blurted out, without a plan in her mind. 

He scoffed looking absolutely miserable, “Enlighten me” he spread his arms wide, waiting for a logical explanation.

“It’s embarrassing” 

“Okay, Rosa. As long as the guy is not a Slytherin you have my bloody blessing--”   


“Don’t you dare say that! Some of the girls had… a meeting… in the common room. We… practised” Rosa looked at the floor in absolute shame of her idiotic lie. As if she would be socializing with any of the Gryffindors let alone let them suck on her neck. She had already sunk low by just being around Nott in the way she was. The lie was starting to catch up with her. 

“What?” Draco’s eyebrows were practically in the ceiling, a slight blush on his cheeks. Of course fucking lesbian erotica he would believe out of everything. Rosa didn’t know whether to be relieved or absolutely fucking ashamed that he ate up the stupid lie. She was leaning towards the latter.

“You heard me… Brown has some real fangs for teeth” Rosa cringed hard at her own words, keeping up withholding the truth despite her inner battle. 

“Are you being serious? Why would you-- Rosa-- what the fuck--” His words reflected the fact that he had eaten up the story, which in turn chomped on Rosa’s heart. How much more of this could she take just to keep up her fantasy?

_ That’s a lie!  _ She wanted to scream at him, but the words didn’t come out. She saw the hurt in his face by just him pointing the hickey out. Rosa was knowingly hurting him, as if he didn’t have enough problems already.

“Told you it’s embarrassing” she didn’t move her eyes from the floor. “I’ve just… been lonely and the Gryffindors invited me” 

“I don’t understand” he said in a fit of honesty. 

“Let me help you with the mission” she just said, desperately trying to change the topic.

“Rosa Dawn. This is none of your concern. I’ll figure it out, I promised to keep you safe” he explained, shaking his head as he did so. Seemingly Rosa wasn’t alone in wanting to change the topic, though this one was definitely not in Draco’s mind. 

Rosa grew frustrated once more, “Just… I don’t want people to get hurt, Draco. That includes you” 

Draco managed to get a tiny smile out, “That doesn’t matter anymore” 

“You just said that you’re doing this so that He doesn’t kill you!”

Draco glared at her, noticing that she had him cornered. “We both know we’re on different sides, Rosa Dawn” At that, Rosa stood up and threw the pillow in her arm on to the bed, clearly cross. 

“I’m going to tell this to you one time and one time only” Rosa said, her eyes red with rage. “I have a singular reason to even show up in the Ball and that is you. I will always and forever choose the side you are on because I outright refuse the idea of being on the battlefield with you being my opponent. I will never--”   


“Rosa--”   


“No, you listen to me now. I will never ever attack you, not under any kind of command. I’d rather stay on your side and lose than win on a side where you end up dead” this time, Rosa could feel that her angry tears had dropped onto her cheeks, which she quickly swatted away. “You better remember it” she finished with her voice cracking.

“Can I talk now?” he asked politely, concern clear on his face. Rosa shrugged, upset. “I love y--”

“No, don’t, please!” Rosa shrieked. He knew how that sentence would’ve ended, but hearing it coming from his mouth again in midst of her betrayal would simply crush her. She glued her eyes firmly to the ground and let tears to spring to her eyes. 

“Why? I mean it as a friend I...” he mumbled, “I thought the feeling was mutual” there was a clear disappointment in his tone, Rosa didn’t dare to look at him. 

“Draco. With all my heart…” her hands came to hug herself, uncomfortable. “But you can’t say that to me, not out loud even as a friend, when you won’t…” All Rosa wanted to do at that moment was to run to Nott, close her eyes and force him to tell her that he loved her before snogging his face off. Only because Draco here wouldn’t do it. Pathetic and desperate, Rosa let more tears leave her eyes. 

“This is ridiculous, Draco. It’s… how long are you going to make me wait? ‘Til the end of the war? What if the wrong side loses, what if you-- I die? This amount of heartache-- the fact that I feel like this even after you almost fucking killed a person-- I don’t know what’s happening to me. And… I’m hurting you, you’ve done so much to me...--”   


“Breathe” Draco said after Rosa took a moment off of her rant to do just that. “Rosa Dawn, why do you think I’ve been ignoring you?”  

Rosa lifted her eyes from her feet up to face him in realization. “You asshole” 

“I’m trying to keep you safe”   


“By killing people?” she challenged.

“Yes” he said through his teeth, which confused Rosa further. “Are you going to continue lecturing me or are you going to change the subject?”

“I won’t change--”   


“What’s the plan for the Holidays?” he cut her off.

“I’ll figure it out” Rosa lied, she had every day of the holidays planned to the tee. 

“Fine. I’ll see you in the Manor then?” he asked, completely ignoring their previous conversation. Apparently, he would just pretend like it didn’t happen and subsequently kicking her out. 

“Holidays aren’t for another two weeks” Rosa stated, Draco just looked at her, like he knew the fact already. “You’re just… leaving me alone then?” 

“I have somethings to take care of”

“No shit” she muttered under her breath, crossing her arms. “What colour tie are you wearing for the Ball?” Rosa asked out of the blue, wiping her tears away. 

“Green?” he shrugged, confused by the sudden question. 

“I wanted to wear a mustard dress, can you not--” she sniffled slightly, “--coordinate? We being reserved and all...” 

Draco’s brows came together above his nose. “You wore the Hufflepuff dress couple years ago” his memory surprised Rosa.

“I can’t afford a new dress with Mum in Azkaban” 

“I’ll send you a dress. What colour do you want it?”

“Silver” she answered immediately, wanting to match Draco’s eyes with her dress. 

“Okay” 

“This is ridiculous” Rosa whispered. “How can we go from you being an attempted murderer to the colour of a fucking tie?” 

“That’s what we do. You lie to me, I lie to you, we make up and life keeps on going”    


“I hate it” 

“We’ll figure it out eventually” he promised, his voice now hopeful, full of genuine optimism that Rosa could not match. 

A silence ensued. Rosa just looked at the boy standing in front of her, his reddening and puffy eyes, his gaunt face. No smirk was upon his lips, no upcoming insult, not anymore. He looked sad. 

“Would you…” Rosa started but cut herself off. Considering for a moment, before she made her decision, “I want you to hold me”

Immediately and without hesitation, Draco took confident steps towards her and wrapped his arms around her firmly. In turn, Rosa put her arms around his shoulders, letting her head drown into the crook of his neck. She could feel his head moving, his lips coming to touch her forehead gently. And immediately Rosa knew that Nott’s lips weren’t even comparable. 

“Just know… that what I said before… about stuff you don’t want me to say out loud. It’s true. With all my heart” during the same second as those words left his lips, Rosa felt a wave of love and a stab of it in her heart simultaneously. She nodded into his chest, before stepping backwards out of his hold.

“I’ll miss you” she whispered, knowing that he would go back into ignoring her no matter how much she begged.

“I bet you’ll look beautiful next time we hang out” he managed to get out a tiny smile through. 

“You’ll need to send the dress to Remus’” she explained, before adding, “And… no open back” 

“Okay”  he nodded in understanding. “I’ll see you around then?”   


“Yeah” with their eye contact lingering, Rosa had to peel herself away from the room, this time she closed the door gently behind her. She would cry herself to sleep that night, she knew that already. Only thing left to do was to actually make it to the Gryffindor common room, she’d definitely use McGonagall’s spells to skip the stairs that was for sure. 

“You really miss me that much?” she heard Theo-- Nott’s voice coming from behind her after walking up the stairs from the dungeons. I guess this was as good time as any. 

“Nott” he stopped in his tracks by the name she called him by. 

“Since when--”   


“Since I realized that this has to stop” her tone was stern despite the fact that her unshed tears wanted desperately to fall onto her cheeks.

“Excuse me?” he was actually laughing at the idea.

“This is not continuing anymore. It doesn’t work--”   
Nott’s jaw was flapping open slightly, he clearly wasn’t expecting this. “We literally just had this conversation  _ today _ . And you just changed your mind out of the blue?”

“Yes, I’m entitled to that, am I not? This ends now”   


“You can’t be serious” his smile had faded completely now. “Why have you been snogging me then? You want me” 

“Everytime I snogged you I closed my eyes because I was fantasizing that I was kissing someone else” Rosa said honestly, not expecting for him to look quite that crushed by the truth. 

After the words sunk in, his eyes flashed with anger. “Fine. It’s your loss, half breed” he said through his teeth like every word was venom on his tongue. He left, stomping down the stairs towards the dungeons. Just before he disappeared to the shadows, he turned to look at her and with a smirk said, “See you in the Ball. It’s always nice to see traditions happening” Rosa didn’t understand if he was trying to threaten her, he knew that she had a higher rank than him what came to Voldemort.

In that moment Rosa stood, frozen waiting for her mind to ease. To her surprise the stone in her gut did not ease whatsoever. The guilt remained, the lies had still left her mouth. She was still a hypocrite and a liar. Still the monster she had told Remus he was. Oh, how the truth was ironic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading as always!  
> Let me know what you think; comment/kudos/bookmark or just have a wonderful day! Love y'all.


	37. Tales From the Lupin-Tonks Household

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy here's another chapterr!!   
> Thank you once more for reading, I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

Not a week to go until a huge box carried by three barn owls and an eagle owl glided in front of Rosa during her lunch. Many of her fellow Gryffindors were staring at her, whilst the owls parked on top of the box they dropped, waiting for treats. 

Confused and disliking the attention the owls were giving her (she could hear the Slytherins snickering behind her), thus she decided to throw the four owls pieces of sausage into the air so that they’d fly off. As they took off, Rosa grabbed the big rectangular box and walked away from the Great Hall and from under everyone’s eyes.

Curiosity took over in the middle of her walking and Rosa walked to the nearest windowsill to  prop it up. Carefully untangling the twine that was neatly around the rectangular box, Rosa opened the package. Inside, the most brightest stones shone, sewn expertly onto silver fabric. Behind her, Rosa could hear snickering that definitely belonged to her favorite person. Ignoring him, she got the piece of clothing out.

Gasping, Rosa stared at the tea length fit and flare dress (which Draco had clearly known was her go-to style), the bodice just slightly off shoulder, with lacy long sleeves. What caught Rosa’s eyes were the hundreds of tiny silver crystals that rained from on top of it until they faded out on the skirt. 

“Draco” she called for him with her breathy voice, folding the dress carefully back into the box. “This is… just…” she was rendered speechless, thus she just waited for him to walk to her.

“Don’t you like it?” he asked, smirking, already knowing the answer.

Rosa cleared her throat. “When I told you to get me a dress I didn’t mean for you to use half a village worth of money on it” 

“You have to compensate for last year” Rosa glared at him, though she agreed with him. Last year she had to cover every inch of skin in order to hide her scars. “Plus, if you’re going to spend the night glued to my hip the least I can do is to make sure you look amazing” Rosa scowled. “C’mon. Tell me what you think of it”   


“It’s beautiful and you know it. But…--”   


“I don’t care how much money it cost me--”   


“Long sleeves?” she asked, turning her head to face him. He was a bit more close than Rosa expected him to be.

“Yes” he said with finality.

“Any particular reason?” she challenged. 

He bit his lip in annoyance and quickly made sure that no one was around. Gently he took Rosa’s left forearm into his hands and rolled up her uniform sleeve up til her elbow. 

“What’s that?” he asked, staring her down.

“My forearm” 

“Exactly. It’s clean, it’s pure, it’s--”   


“Scarred--”   


“Beautiful” he cut her off. “I will not remind them of that. I won’t remind them that you don’t have an ugly brand on your skin” 

In that moment all Rosa wanted to do was to snog his face off. Instead, she took a step back, rolling her sleeve back down.

“Thank you” he nodded, a little smile on his lips. 

“I’m glad you like it” he started backing up, going back where he had appeared from.

“So, you’re just going to disappear again?” he laughed sadly, winked and turned to walk away.

“Wanker” Rosa insulted under his breath.

“I heard that!” she heard his amused laugh somewhere in the distance.

“Lucky bastard”

+++

 

_ Step 1: Spend time with Remus. _ _ Make good memories while you can. _

 

Rosa took a deep breath as she carefully stepped out of the Hogwarts Express. She could see her breath coming out as fog from her mouth. She looked about through the big cluster of people. She saw the unmistakable flash of ginger haired people, assuming that her Father would be close by them. On the other side of the platform, closer to the Slytherin carriages, she saw another unmistakable head of hair, this time platinum blonde. 

She didn’t have time to look for Draco before she heard a familiar sound calling her name. Not a moment longer Remus was cheerily by her side. 

“How was the journey?” he asked, though his expression was troubling. Rosa bit her cheek slightly before giving him an answer to his unasked question. She took a wary step towards him and awkwardly wrapped her arms around his midsection. He froze for a moment, before doing the same, only holding her tighter. A moment passed, he pressed a chaste kiss on top of her head - the one time Rosa swore under her breath against the height difference between them.   

Separating, Rosa scowled slightly. Remus laughed, “Fine, I won’t kiss you like you’re a kid anymore. I wasn’t expecting you to--”   


“I thought I owed you one” she swallowed uncomfortably. “After the trial and all...” her eyes went to the floor in slight shame. 

“Have you got your trunk?” he asked, still cheery as ever, his eyes practically twinkling with childish excitement. Rosa shook her head no. “I’ll pick it up for you. Just follow the red-heads, Dora is there with everyone” 

“My trunk’s the one with--”   


“With the Dawn family crest and a dying sticker of a broom. I know, sweetheart” Rosa made another face at the pet name, much to her Father’s enjoyment. He was being a tad odd. Though sure, this was the first time he had ever come and seen her when she arrived - and taken her home. 

Rosa, as slowly as she could, walked to the Weasley clan, all seemingly waiting for someone. 

“Oh, Rosa, darling, how have you been?” Mrs. Weasley asked merrily, as if the last time they saw each other was not when her home had been burnt down. Rosa pushed the thought out of the way.

“Quite alright, Mrs. Weasley” out of sheer rebellion she didn’t ask the question back. Small talk wasn’t really on her to-do-list. 

“Remus is excited” Dora appeared at her side, whispering. “If I were you…” she gave her a look filled with mischief, “I’d cover remnants of a hickey off of my neck” she smirked at Rosa’s widened eyes.

Her hand immediately slapped on top of the now yellow bruise (you couldn’t even see it properly). “It’s not--”   


“Trust me. Either it was that guy you wrote to me about or a vampire. Just don’t let your Dad see it or there will be hell to pay” she offered Rosa her pale pink scarf that matched her hair. Rosa took it and without a second thought wrapped it around her neck. “When we get home I’ll heal it for you”

“Oh” Rosa turned towards the woman, “So you two do live together” she stated.

“Technically. I still have my own place, but I spend most of my time at your Dad’s. We’ve been cleaning out your room” she said, excited. Rosa didn’t really know how to feel about the statement. The older witch notized her puzzlement. “What is it?”

“Umm… Did you… did you change much? Like move furniture--”   


“No-- I mean we bought a new bed that you could actually fit into. Other than that--”   


“Did you move… my things?” Rosa’s eyes were firmly on the ground.

“Just by couple inches--”   


“The photographs? Or-- or my toys?” Remus was now making his way towards them, dragging Rosa’s trunk behind him. He beaming smile faltered slightly as he noticed Rosa’s lowered moods.

“Is everything all right?” he asked, suddenly concerned. 

Tonks smirked. “Don’t worry Rosa. Remus made sure we kept everything” 

“And did you… touch many of my things?” Rosa knew what had made her feel uncomfortable. It was the same feeling she had felt when Granger had found Draco’s treehouse in the Room of Requirement. 

“I…--”   


“Rosa. She’s family now. Dora is allowed into your room just like I am” Remus talked with his fatherly tone, that Rosa thought was dangerously shadowing scolding. But what surprised Rosa was the fact that Remus knew exactly what was bothering her.

“You… How…?” she asked in the middle of her confusion.

Remus let out a small laugh. “Molly. Do you by any chance remember when Rosa was maybe three years old and you went into her room?” 

Mrs. Weasley turned to him, in the middle of showering all of her children with kisses. She looked to Rosa and smiled fondly. “Oh, yes. Little Rosa had a little fit about it didn’t you?” 

“Wait, the first time I met you--”   


“Was shortly after your birth, sweetheart” she smiled once more. “I am your godmother after all, aren’t I?” 

“You never mentioned it” 

With another fond smile Mrs. Weasley spoke, “Oh, well… the last time I saw you was couple months after that, dear. I knew you wouldn’t remember me” 

“Oh”   


“Point being, I know you Rosa. And you must live with the fact that Dora will be around the house” Remus turned back to his daughter. 

Rosa looked at her father’s fiance, scowling slightly. “You’re not my Mother” 

“Rosa--” Remus sighed.

“I would never want that title” Dora cut him off, voice full of promise. “Like I told you. I want to be like a sister. Not a mother, but part of the family” 

_ You’re the one who’s getting their face onto the family trees when you tie the knot. _

“Rosa?” Remus questioned.

“Let’s just go, Remus” she eventually said, taking her trunk from the wizard and just walking towards the wall she knew would lead to the station. 

+++

It was all changed. The room was repainted, one shade too dark of a yellow. The stuffed animals on the bed were in the wrong order, same problem faced the photographs. Her desk was still pretty much the same. Remus brought in her trunk, placing it at the foot of the bed.

“It’s all wrong” Rosa whispered. 

“What is?” Remus asked, taking couple steps towards her. 

“The-- the toys” he turned to look at the five little animals that Rosa had loved as a child. “When I learnt how to read, you helped me to put them in alphabetical order” she explained. “The books too!”

Remus looked at her confused, “I always just thought you had OCD” he said under his breath.

“And-- and when you helped to put up those pictures because I was scared to sleep alone, they were in chronological order” 

Looking at the wall, Rosa pointed at it. “And-- you’d measure me against that wall and tell me how quickly I was growing” Another look at her wardrobe. “I was scared of the dark so you put a light into the wardrobe to remind me that there were no monsters there” 

“Rosa--”   


“It was always just you and me” she whined like a child, the uncomfortable feeling growing inside of her. “Others weren’t allowed” 

“Just because things are different doesn’t mean that the memories disappear, Rosa. We’re supposed to make new ones and cherish the old ones, yeah?” 

“But… I don’t want to forget” 

Remus let out a quilty sigh. “And that’s why we’re about to make a lot of new ones” This time quilt took over Rosa’s gut. “With Dora” Remus added. 

“Can we… Just you and me? Just for a day?” she requested. 

Remus nodded. “I think that’s reasonable” he said, now smiling. “And just so you know, we’re spending Christmas Day in the Burrow” Rosa’s heart started beating hard after that simple statement. 

“N-no” she managed to get out.

“Yes. That is non-negotiable. I get that your relationship with the others is complicated, but if you’d just remind yourself that at one point in time you were friends”   


“No. They’re liars” Rosa pressed. 

“According to you, so am I” that shut her up. Rosa’s eyes started moving around the room. She scowled, not finding a proper answer to the clap back. Remus patiently waited.

“The room’s still wrong” Rosa stated stubbornly. Remus let out a small laugh. 

“Dinner’s in fifteen, unless you want to help us cook” Rosa nodded as an answer; she would unpack her things during that time. Remus, hummed happily, leaving the room and giving Rosa some space to settle down. 

Unpacking, the silver dress Draco had given her was the only thing she didn’t take out of her trunk. Looking at it longingly, Rosa had to wonder how to pull off her plan now that she had to go to the Burrow on the same day as the Ball was happening. It was a week away, she still had time. Rosa pushed the trunk under her bed.

Just before walking downstairs for dinner, Rosa decided to sneak into Remus’ room. Confidently, she walked straight to Remus’ desk, looking through whatever papers he had in piles.  

There was nothing that actually peaked her interest, the paperwork was mostly news clippings and Remus following up on Order business. Not even his drawers were filled with any information that Rosa was looking for. Which posed the question of what she was looking for? Something to upset her so she could have another excuse not to trust the man? 

“Dinner!” she heard Tonks yell from downstairs. Quickly, Rosa put the papers back correctly and rushed down. She could smell the food from the staircase - clearly Tonks had taught her Father a thing or two about cooking.

Rosa stepped into the kitchen, noticing that Tonks was occupying the seat she had always called her own. Trying not to be a complete brat, she sat down on the other free chair. 

“Did you find my paperwork interesting?” he asked with a slightly disappointed tone, after which he casually put his dull fork into his mouth. 

Rosa dropped the fork she had picked up. “The house is old, Rosa. We hear you walking about” Remus explained, clearing his throat and adding, “It’s is quite rude, don’t you think? After your behaviour today about your belongings?” he challenged. It seemed that cooking was not the only thing Tonks had taught him. 

Scowling, Rosa nodded in shame. “I apologize” 

“Did you find anything of note?” he continued pressing the topic.

“No” Rosa said with finality, picking up her fork once more, just wanting to eat and leave. “I did not” 

“You sound disappointed”

“Remus” Tonks butted in finally. “She went in making sure that the last time doesn’t repeat. It won’t. You both need to work on your relationship. Not just her. And not just you. Both of you. You can’t keep this bloody cycle of mistrust going around. I want to have bloody dinner like a regular family!” 

Rosa straightened up her back, Remus did the same. “I… I was wrong to break your trust like that” Rosa mumbled under her breath before scooping some chicken pie into her mouth.

“Thank you. I hope that someday you could trust me” 

“No, Remus. You can’t quilt trip her either” Tonks scolded him, trying to be impartial.

Remus turned her eyes back to Rosa. “I’m sorry, Rosa” 

“It’s ok” Rosa said, turning to Tonks waiting for her to find something they were doing wrong. She didn’t point anything out, just happily went for her dinner. Satisfied, the Father-Daughter duo did the same. 

The rest of the day went quietly, there were many things that Rosa found to be wrong in the house, but tried keeping them quiet. Remus would sometimes notice her discomfort from time to time and when she was able to control herself, his smile would turn to one filled with pride. 

Rosa did run into some difficulty after she had put on her pyjamas and ready to go to sleep. With her wand out, Rosa had tried several times now to cast her silencing spell - like she still did everyday. Whenever the incantation left her lips, nothing but a small wisp of blue would leave her wand, the magic failing. 

“Remus?” she called for him, knowing that his and Tonks’ room was down the hallway from hers. 

“What is it?” he called back. Rosa could hear his footsteps coming towards her room. Trying to cast the spell one more time and failing, she turned to Remus who now - wearing his striped pajamas - was standing in her doorway. 

“I can’t put a charm up?” she questioned. 

Remus smiled fondly. “Oh, yes, that. I put up a charm that would prevent all under-age magic with in the house” Rosa went pale immediately.

“W-why?”   


“This. I don’t want you putting up silencing charms just because you're embarrassed of your nightmares. Besides, it’s illegal” he reminded her. 

Rosa felt her heart rate quicken as memories from last Christmas flooded her mind. This was slowly becoming the same. He chest started heaving slowly but surely. Remus took a step forward, extending his hand in confusion. In turn, Rosa took a panicky step back.

“Rosa--?”   


“I need to protect myself” she said, terror completely blinding her.

“You are safe here”   


“I NEED-- I need my wand!” she shouted at him.

“Why? You’re underage, you’re not supposed to--”   


“What if you attack me?” When the words left Rosa’s mouth she already knew Remus would misunderstand them. 

“The potion keeps me tame during the Moon--”   


“No! You have a wand that functions! It’s unfair! What if-- even if Tonks--”   


“You’re safe”    


“Please. I won’t use magic, I won’t put charms up, I promise.” she was practically begging. 

Remus was only getting more confused by the second. “What difference does it make?” 

“I’ll know that I can defend myself” 

“Why would you--”   


“Mum would always take my wand away” she told him, head down in shame. 

“I’ll take the charm down” Remus said immediately, Rosa’s shoulders relaxed significantly. “But,” he continued, “You will not use magic whilst here, unless absolutely necessary”   


“I won’t” Rosa promised.

“Cross your heart?” 

“Hope to die” 

+++

Nights were getting difficult. Remus would wake up hearing Rosa either whimpering or screaming her head off. Depending on the dreams she had, she would let him soothe her. On worse nights she would back up to the backboard and stare at Remus in fear. Not once would she go for a hug like she did last Easter. Rosa would hold is hand though, until she finally fell asleep again. Rosa tried to ignore the growing dark circles under his eyes.

On a particular night, the fifth one she was spending in the Lupin-Tonks household, Rosa woke up once more riddled by a nightmare. But this time as she opened her eyes, Remus was not there. Blinking through the darkness, Rosa got up from bed, knowing she’d be unable to fall back to sleep without another person there.  

Walking through the hallways, Rosa saw a light flickering downstairs. With her wand securely in her pocket she walked down the stairs, only to hear quick footsteps coming towards her. 

Tonks came to view, looking like she hadn’t slept at all, what so ever. Her neon blue hair was all over the place, yesterday’s mascara on her cheeks.

“You, go upstairs, now!” she ordered. Rosa didn’t take kindly to that.

“Excuse me?”

“Upstairs, off you go, now” she repeated with a slightly more kind tone.

Rosa heard a loud whimper coming from the living room. What made her pale was the realization that the noise was definitely not human.

“Is it full Moon?” she asked immediately.

“Upstairs. Now” Tonks demanded again, which confused Rosa.

“He’s harmless with the potion--”   


“He explicitly told me not to let you see him like that” the older witch butted in.

“You are not in liberty to tell me to do something! I have every right to keep him company when he’s struggling just as you are!” she complained. 

Tonks let out a frustrated and tiresome sigh. “Rosa. I can’t let you see him like that after he’s told me not to. I--” she cut herself off by yawning.

“You’re tired. Go to--”   


“I will not leave him alone”   


“I’ll be there. I won’t sleep for the rest of the night. Please. I insist” 

“No.” Tonks kept her stand. 

Rosa huffed in anger. “At least let me into the kitchen to brew some coffee” 

“No, go back to sleep, Rosa. It’s 4:30”  the blue-haired woman noticed the sudden shame in Rosa’s face.

“I can’t… without anyone there…” she talked through her teeth.

“Fine, come on, up we go”   


As Rosa dove back under her duvet, she knew she would not be able to fall asleep again. Even though she trusted Tonks to a certain limit, this was over it. Tonks herself sat down on the old wooden chair cushioned by a throw pillow next to the bed that Remus had parked there. 

Rosa turned herself to her side, facing away from the other woman. And then she waited in the darkness, until she felt distinctly Tonks’ weight pushing slightly down on her mattress. Rosa kept motionless for a couple more minutes, not wanting to move incase Tonks would wake up once more. Finally, Rosa slid away from underneath the duvet, keeping her eyes on Tonks’ sleeping form. Tonks’ arms were used as pillows as she leaned on the bed. 

Silently, Rosa stood up, and sneaked out of the room trying as hard as possible not to let the floor creak. With luck on her side, Rosa made it all the way downstairs, until she was at the corner of the living room.  

With a mild amount of fear she peeked into the room. She saw Remus, well, a werewolf Remus coiled on the floor, looking like he was in pain. There was nothing murderous about him, he looked like a wounded dog.

Taking now more confident steps into the room, werewolf-Remus reacted by looking up at her. The animal had distinctly Remus’ eyes, only his pupils were contracted. The werewolf whimpered lightly, taking steps back away from Rosa, in fear.

“You won’t hurt me, Remus” the animal continued whimpering loudly, until it was backed up into the wall. “I’m just here to keep you company. I can read to you” she explained, looking at her Father, so different from his regular self. 

Walking towards the bookshelf and taking out the “Tales of Beedle the Bard”, opening it on a random fairytale which just happened to be “Babbity Rabbity”.  She slouched down onto the comfortable couch. 

As she read, Remus got more confident, and took a couple steps towards her, until he was coiled up at her feet. Slowly, Rosa too was getting more and more tired like Tonks, realizing that she trusted Remus more in his werewolf state than she did Tonks. Reading more and more into the tale until her eyes drooped, Rosa fell asleep with her hand on Remus’ back.

  
  


Rosa didn’t wake up naturally; she woke up to a loud argument happening in the kitchen. Blinking a couple of times to get her eyes used to the light, she started giving her attention into listening in on the conversation.

“--killed her!” Remus shouted, looking like absolute shit. He was pale and gaunt, the same he looked after each night Rosa had seen him after the Moon.

“I already told you, I fell asleep in her room! I thought she was asleep too! I can’t be responsible for things that she does when I’m not conscious, Remus!”

“She was not supposed to see me like that! She already thinks I’m a bloody monster--”   


“Remus” Rosa whispered as she stepped into the kitchen, but neither of the wizards noticed her arrival not heard her. 

“--she doesn't, Remus! You have to understand that I didn’t know--”   


“What if i accidentally scratched her? I can’t be around her when I’m like that, Dora!”   


“Remus” Rosa tried finding her voice again, her whisper going completely onto deaf ears.

“I DID NOT KNOW!” 

“I already don’t like you being around, I can’t have Rosa--”   


“ _ DAD _ !” that got their attention. Most likely because that was the first time Rosa had used that particular title seriously in, what, 10 years? “Tonks had nothing to do with it” she told him honestly.

“Dora, could I talk to her for a moment alone, please?” Remus requested. Tonks nodded in understanding, leaving the kitchen with a clear sour mood. Remus waited to hear her footsteps on the stairs before continuing. “Sit down with me” She did, choosing what now was Tonks’ seat of choice. Whilst keeping her eyes firmly on the table, she noticed a letter assigned to her. 

“If you ever do that again, I will lock you in your room for the night of the Moon” he started, talking with a stern fatherly tone, scolding her to the ground. “I will not, no matter if I’m on the potion or not, let you see me in that state for the fear of your safety. Do you understand me?” Rosa just nodded. “Go on then. Explain yourself” he finished, letting her have a chance to speak. 

“I was curious” 

“And that was reason enough for you to go against my direct requests?” he pressed.   


“Yes. I wanted to see you… and I knew you’d be in pain--”   


“Rosa. That is no reason to manipulate Dora--”   


“That was never my intention. I woke up and you weren’t there-- I didn’t even know it was the night of the Moon” she explained.

“I will let you go with this just this once, Rosa. I will not hesitate to send you to the Burrow for the night if I have one shred of a doubt that you will even consider doing that again”   


“I promise, I won’t” Remus nodded, satisfied. He took and lifted up the envelope that was sitting on the table between the two. He sighed, clearly this upcoming topic was more heavy on his heart.

“This came from Azkaban” he started, noting the sharp inhale Rosa took. “You don’t have to read it. But if you will, I will too. And if you decide not to, I will burn it myself” 

“That’s not a fair choice” Rosa noted in thought.

“It’s the choice I’m giving you” 

Taking a deep breath, Rosa extended her hand in request for the letter. Remus reluctantly gave it to her, living up to his promise. Rosa tore it open, unfolded the parchment and read the short letter written in smudged handwriting through. 

 

_ Time is short. Be ready. I won’t need to remind to you what happens if you are not. _

_        - MSD _

 

Rosa knew that it would be vague, her Mother wouldn’t put too delicate information to her letters when she knew that Rosa wasn’t at Hogwarts. No matter how vague the words were, Rosa understood the implications behind them.

“Rosa?” Remus asked, or requested to read the letter too. With another deep breath, Rosa gave the letter to him, who read it through a couple times.

“What does she mean? What is she threatening you with, Rosa?” he asked, quickly, consern evident in his voice. 

“That was not part of your conditions” Rosa just said gloomily, standing up from the chair.

“Do not--”   


“I’m going to my room now. I’ll take a nap” she lied. Remus let her, coming up with his own plans to keep Rosa safe from Madilyn. He would send the letter to the Order and ask for advice. 

Rosa in turn collapsed onto her bed, trying to deny the temptation of turning around and sobbing into her pillow. Instead she reminded herself of her plan for the holidays. She knew it, it was simple and she would have to go through with it. 

Maybe she just wanted to get these memories before going forward with step 2. But now, after the night and seeing her Father in that state… after reading the threatening letter… maybe she’d rather stay with him. Her thoughts turned to Draco, how he needed her help, how she needed him. Her mind was a bloody whirlwind. 

But no matter what the positives and negatives of either situation was, Rosa reminded herself of the next and last step of her plan, letting quilt take over.

 

_ Step 2: Break his heart. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> As always, leave a bookmark/comment/kudos or just have a lovely day~


	38. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! Two days, two chapters boiii, though this one is super short...  
> Yeah, I may have had this chapter pre-written for months now so after a bit of revision (since I had the time bc I'm battling out a flu) I thought I'd just post it already.   
> I hope you love this one as much as I do.

**** Laughter. That was what the house was filled with. Tonks was cracking jokes throughout lunch, ones that even Rosa could not help but laugh to. Remus joined the laughter every time, no matter if the joke was absolutely unfunny. 

Rosa had been intrigued by the couple. Even when Tonks had left for the day, when they said goodbye to each other, their eyes were filled with nothing but love. When they cooked, Remus would take quick glances at her when she wasn’t looking, admiring her. Tonks would do the same. In the evenings, when they all were hanging about in the living room, Tonks’ legs would be in Remus’ lap, or they at least had some kind of physical contact. Often when Rosa walked into the kitchen in the morning she would walk in on them snogging. Every time the couple would awkwardly jump away from each other; clearly Remus had laid out some ground rules for them whilst Rosa was in the house. 

Watching them, living what Rosa understood to be a somewhat normal life, she could not refuse the fact that this could be her everyday. A domestic everyday either with Remus and Tonks or even, with Draco. Which raised even more questions in her head. 

With the knowledge that there were two days to go before Christmas Day, Rosa decided to talk with Remus. A little after lunch, Remus and Tonks were doing the dishes, their wands up and charms shooting out of them. She would not get this opportunity again.

“Um… Remus?” he turned, eyebrows raised. 

“Is there something wrong, Rosa?” Remus asked, sudden concern laying on his face.

“Not really… I um… you should know that… this conversation is just as uncomfortable to me as it is to you” she started.

“Ok…?” Remus was getting worried. Rosa looked to Tonks for help, but she too had no idea what the young witch needed help with. She trusted them both but it didn’t make the subject matter anymore awkward.

“Rosa?” Remus asked once more when Rosa kept quiet for a moment too long. She swallowed.

“Sex” she blurted out. Tonks choked to the air she inhaled and Remus’ eye widened. They both needed to take a moment to digest her words. Eventually, they both sat down, opposite to Rosa.

“Alright… what do you-- are you having--”   


“No, Father, please--” Remus stopped talking instantly when Rosa used the title. His expression melted slightly, not having heard it leaving her lips for so long. Tonks coughed once more, elbowing Remus to his side to come back to Earth.

“Hear me out, ok?” Rosa pleaded. 

“Do you-- what do you want to know-- are you-- you’re not--” Remus asked, feeling extremely uncomfortable. His feelings went from confusion to sudden anger over who ever the boy who defied her was back to concern for her health. He came to the conclusion that she was too young.

“Rosa, if you don’t mind me jumping in, your dad would probably be a little more open to this conversation if you made it clear if you’re… sexually active or not” Tonks butted in, not really knowing why she was thrown into the parenting train. Sure, this was her future step daughter but it didn’t mean that it was her responsibility to have the “talk” with her. 

“I’m not. I’ve never… You know… I’m not really planning on it either…” technically the last statement was true. She didn’t have any dates planned to lose her virginity. But it sure made Remus feel a lot better, he let out a relieved sigh. He took a few breaths, before he prepared himself for the conversation.

“Alright. Thank you. If you’re asking me, you should wait at least 20 more years before you even consider--”   


“Remus. The girl is clearly terrified to talk to you already” Tonks whispered to her fiance, suddenly realizing why Rosa wanted her there. Remus took another deep breath.

“What do you want to know then? How it works--”

“No, I know all that... “ Rosa could not meet her father’s eyes anymore.

“What is it, Rosa?” 

“It’s just… When you and mum… or you and Tonks... in general really… why?” she mumbled.

“Why what? Why did I… lay with your mother?” Rosa nodded slightly. “I was in love with her, Rosa. Did she forget to tell you that she once loved me?” 

“That’s not what I meant… excluding personality”   


“I’m not sure I understand what you mean, Rosa” Remus said honestly.

“Um… I just wondered… what you or-- or any guy in that matter find beautiful… in a girl” 

Both of the older wizards looked at each other puzzled. Rosa was uncomfortable, fiddling with her fingers on top of the table, eyes going straight to them.

“Are you sure this is not a conversation you want to have with Tonks alone?” Remus asked.

“If I wanted a female perspective, I would’ve asked her” Rosa clapped back. 

“Rosa have you been seeing someone?” Remus asked finally, wanting another thing sorted right this second. He had to know which young man he had to scare the shit out of.

“Um… It’s kind of complicated” Rosa answered honestly. 

“Is this the boy you wrote to me about?” Tonks asked. Rosa gave her a look that clearly stated that she didn’t appreciate the witch’s words.

“A boy?! You knew about this?! Who?” Remus addressed the question wide-eyes to Tonks.

“She writes me about stuff” the woman shrugged. “I don’t know who it is” 

Remus turned to Rosa, expecting answers. “I’m not telling you” 

“Is he treating you right?” Tonks asked, parental DNA stepping in. Rosa sighed uncomfortably. Draco didn’t really have a reason to ‘treat her right’ in that sense. 

“Is he hurting you?” Remus’ tone was growing dangerous. 

“No! It’s just…--”

“Complicated?” Tonks filled in for her. Rosa nodded sadly. 

“And you two are not having sex--”   


“No” Rosa knew that for her to get answers out of her dad, she needed to be honest with him. Remus nodded. “Could you answer the question?” Rosa pleaded.

“So you want to know what guys find attractive about women?” Tonks clarified.

“Just on the outside… like outer… beauty?”

“Rosa, you are beautiful” Remus said, and for the first time since the conversation started, Rosa rose her eyes to her father, and gave him an annoyed glare. He quickly looked back down, but the message went through. 

“Well, if we’re talking about strictly superficially… Teenage boys are going to look at your eyes and your chest” 

“Dora!”

“She’s been honest, I think it’s fair for us to do the same, Remus” 

“What about-- what about skin?” Rosa asked, trying to be somewhat subtle with the question and miserably failing. Remus seemed to catch on but didn’t say anything, Rosa concluded that he was confused by the question as well.

“ _ Skin _ ?” Tonks asked, oblivious. “I mean… most guys probably wouldn’t look at girls’ skin much… unless it’s like  _ really  _ obvious and bumpy and--”   


“Shut up, Dora” Remus said quickly in anger, suddenly understanding why his daughter had asked the question. Rosa’s expression had paled and gone from uncomfortable to noticeably saddened. She tried controlling it; she had her neutral expression on in a few seconds.

“What? Rosa, you want the truth-- Oh.” something clicked in her brain in between Remus making faces at her and Rosa’s wavering expression. She had of course, heard the stories and seen the trial photos of Rosa’s past but the girl was so good at hiding them. She was cursing herself in her thoughts.

“So… what you’re saying is that if you met someone who was as… battered as I was you wouldn’t touch them?” Rosa asked, hurt. 

“That’s not--” Tonks was swiftly cut off by Remus so he couldn’t make the situation worse that it already was.

“Rosa, I take that this bo--young man doesn’t know--” Remus started but was promptly cut off himself.   


“He knows. But… I think he has reasons why he’s not...” Rosa scowled, not really wanting to go into detail over all the things she’d hope Draco would do with her.

Remus cleared his throat, “So… he’s the refusing to… interact?” he clarified. Rosa nodded. “Good” Remus said under his breath.

“How do you feel about him then? Do you… Since you’re clearly considering…” Tonks took a look at Remus before continuing, “interacting with him… so… do you… have-- um… has the ‘L’-word entered the conversations between you two?”

Rosa shifted in her seat. “Not in that context… but… I’m not sure…” 

“That means you don’t. And it also means that you should wait” Remus said with finality.   


“It’s not like he’s jumping me” Rosa mumbled “He’s just… disgusted… I guess” Rosa started pushing herself off of the table, but it was her turn to be cut off.

“Don’t you dare leave this conversation now, Rosa Dawn” Remus said, suddenly looking quite angry. Rosa promptly sat back down. 

“First of all I would like you to know that I think you’re a bit too young to be having sex. I get that it’s couple months before you turn seventeen and all that, so if, and that is a big if, you end up in that… situation, I would like to make sure that you’re being safe. I don’t want grandchildren anytime soon” his tone was strong and fatherly. He had gotten himself together.

“I know the spells.” Rosa stated, voice small and weak.

“Good. And if you care even a little for my mental stability, you would revise those spells later alone or with Tonks” Rosa nodded in understanding. 

“Secondly, I don’t want you doing anything you’re uncomfortable with. No one has the right to pressure you into things you’re not ready to do. Make sure the boy knows what ‘no’ means. Also, I’d like it if he knew that your father is a werewolf”

“He knows. All of those things” 

“Good. Thirdly, I’m very pleased that you came to talk to me about this. So, if something happens, or if this boy hurts you… please send me an owl or call me on the fire, just let me know. You don’t need to disclose if you’re being active or not, but I’d like to be in the loop. That means that if you and this boy become… exclusive I’d like to meet him” Rosa grimaced inwardly; Remus would never in this lifetime approve of Draco. But she nodded nonetheless.

“Lastly.” The father-daughter duo’s eyes met. “ _ You are beautiful _ ”

Rosa grimaced.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me, young lady. With or without whatever scars your skin bears, you are beautiful. If this boy doesn’t see that then you have my permission to hit him with the nastiest curse in your artillery.”

“You’re sounding like a father” Tonks said, jokingly.

“Good. I’m just sixteen years late, I thought I’d start catching up” For that, Rosa smiled at Remus. “Feeling better?” he asked. 

“A bit” she said honestly. She still didn’t know what to do with Draco, and her father’s last point was not driven home. But she was happy that Remus was acting like a father. 

“Thank you” she said to both of the wizards.

“Anytime, Rosa.”  

Maybe she would like to be a part of this family. 

_ No, you are not going there. You can’t love them now. _

_ Who are you trying to lie to?  _

_ Bloody idiot. You’re not part of this family.  _

_ He wants you here. _

_ You can’t choose. That choice left your ballpark half a year ago. This is your life now. Deal with it.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> Leave a kudos/comment/bookmark or just have an amazing day!


	39. Weasley Christmas Traditions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO... you get a friday upload instead of my regular saturday/sunday one simply because I'm working through both of those days.. (those who are interested, I work at a cinema and it's opening weekend for Dumbo so it's gonna be crazyy) AND this chapter wrote itself, it's nearly 7000 words and about 13 pages. And I have a love-hate relationship with it... WELL mostly love though. Let me know what you think and enjoy!

Christmas morning. Rosa kept awake for most of the night, Remus had come around to sit by her around 3 am, helping her to fall asleep again. She didn’t want for the day to begin, thus she kept from opening her eyes. Apparently that kept the day from dawning.

She heard a knock on her door, followed by the sound of the door creaking open.

“I know you’re awake” it was Remus’ voice that came from the doorway. Rosa opened her eyes, her back still towards her Father. She didn’t move, still waiting for the time to stay still. “Go on, get up will you? We’re supposed to be in the Burrow in half an hour for lunch” he stated still not moving. Rosa heard him taking steps towards the bed. 

“Rosa” he started, voice heavy, “I know that last Christmas wasn’t great, and there might be bad memories surfacing… I’m asking you to try and make new ones” Rosa could feel the weight on the bed shift as Remus sat down on the bed. 

Rosa turned to her back, her eyes puffy from last nights unshed tears. “I…-- How long are we going to be there?” Rosa asked, staring at the ceiling.

“We’re coming back in the evening. You’ll get full day of the Weasley’s, no matter how much you don’t like them” 

“Okay” Rosa said, defeated. Remus’ eyebrows shot to his hairline.

“Okay? That easy?” 

“I’m assuming that I’m getting a present” she smiled sadly, looking up at him. 

“Presents are after dinner. Weasley traditions” Rosa nodded and with a sigh got out of bed many hours later when she’d normally get up.

They floo’d (thankfully) to the Weasley house that was bustling already. Rosa had worn a large woolly jumper that was whiter than snow and probably more expensive than any single thing in the house. She had taken a small pouch with a concealment and weightlessness charm on it, basically her whole trunk shrinked inside of it. 

Every single member of the Weasley clan was present except for the one Head boy whose name Rosa couldn’t remember. The French girl who Rosa knew had participated in the Triwizard Tournament was there as well, together with Granger and Potter. 

Everyone was smiling when Remus and Tonks stepped through the fireplace; Rosa could hear the laughter and the greetings through the green flames. With a sigh, she stepped through the fire straight into the Burrow’s living room. All happiness seemed to die as she revealed herself to the party. 

Mrs. Weasley seemed to be the only coming to her with a smile. “Oh, it’s lovely to see you again Rosa. You are just in time for lunch” Rosa smiled in return, looking around the room. She saw Potter’s eyes staring at her long sleeves, as if he was trying to see through them.

With a huff of anger Rosa rolled her sleeves up to her elbows, revealing her lightly scarred but not branded forearms. 

“Happy?” she asked the room, whilst boring her eyes at Potter. He nodded. It hit Rosa that this was most likely the last time she would be able to do that. The thought was dangerous, and she pushed it to the back of her mind. Remus sighed, eyeing the Order members in a way that said ‘I told you so’.

“Oh, stop pestering her, everyone is welcome here! Lunch is on the table” Mrs. Weasley’s voice boomed, and like it was an order, the air in the room lifted quickly and previous conversations were continued as everyone sat down on the dinner table. Rosa sat between Remus and Granger, opposite to the twins. 

As Ronald sat down, opposite to Remus, he mumbled something that sounded quite alike “Death Eater scum in my kitchen…” 

Remus raised his eyes to him. “Ron” he started, tone warning. The ginger boy paled significantly. “Not in my presence--”   


“Don’t” Rosa butted in. Remus turned to her, surprised. “I don’t want to fight today… New memories, right?” she tried to get through a sad smile, like Ronald’s comment wasn’t bothering her. Not because it was offending, but because it was too close to the truth. What would have they done if she had a brand on her skin? This behaviour only resulted from the rumours and the knowledge that Voldemort wanted her (plus Rosa’s previous behaviour that was more than deservant of that treatment).

With a nod filled with pride, Remus turned to Ronald. “Watch it” he just said before turning towards everyone else now filling their plates merrily.

Soon enough, Rosa’s plate was full, though she herself had hardly put any food onto it. It seemed that Remus thought she’d be able to eat the same amount of food as Ronald. The conversation flowed, Granger kept trying to keep Rosa in the loop of it. Even though she stayed quiet for most of that time.

“Come on, Mum! Just a couple of them, we won’t do the bigger ones” one of the twins whined. 

“Just a few pops” the other finished. Rosa listened in on the small argument, the twins were apparently wanting to put up fireworks. Mrs. Weasley was quite against it, since the Burrow was working as the Order safehouse.

“Please, Mrs. Weasley? It’s still light out, and they can put up a legal muffliato” Rosa inserted herself into the conversation, to everyone’s surprise. The twins practically beamed at her. Mrs. Weasley’s eyebrows shot up. 

“Look, your only god daughter wants to see some!” one of them exclaimed.

“How can you say no to that face?” the other added. Rosa let out an amused laugh. 

“Rosa, why would you want to see any, it is not new years yet” Mrs. Weasley asked with a heavy breath.

Rosa shrugged. “I’ve never seen any before”

Granger’s brows gathered on top of her nose. “Weren’t you there when they blew up the Great Hall?” she questioned. 

With an annoyed sigh Rosa opened her mouth again, ”No, that was the Care for Magical Creatures OWL. I don’t take it” The statement made Granger even more confused.

”That was definitely the written Charms exam” she stated so sure of herself. Rosa cocked her head towards her giving her an obvious look that said ‘what the hell mate?!’

“Wait--” the left twin started,

“Did,  _ the _ Rosa Dawn just--” the right one continued,

“--try to lie for us?” they finished together, shocked. Mrs. Weasley folded her arms waited for Rosa to explain herself.

She shrugged again with a smirk on her face. “What else would you expect from Death Eater scum like me?” The twins started roaring with laughter, Ronald went pale, Remus brought his hand to his mouth to conceal his amusement whilst Mrs. Weasley looked not too impressed. 

“Rosa, you shouldn’t joke about that in an Order safe house” Tonks said through her giggles. 

“Please, Mrs. Weasley?” Rosa turned to the ginger witch, smiling more broadly than anyone except Remus had seen her. 

“Just a couple. And you better put up silencing charms” she granted the wish. 

  
  


Rosa sat down on the cold snow, thankfully Fred had put up a warming charm on the ground so it wasn’t too uncomfortable. Looking up at the sky, Rosa waited for the colours to burst out from the little sticks the twins had gotten from their childhood bedrooms. Currently they were still putting up silencing charms up, keeping their promises to their Mother.

“You’re different” Rosa jumped slightly as Granger sat down next to her.

“In what way?” she asked, looking for clarification.

“You makes jokes, you laugh. You have a twinkle in your eye. You’re not as reserved” the brown haired girl kept on listing.

“I… I just feel… safe? I guess” Rosa mumbled.

“Because of Remus?” Granger kept pressing the topic.

“I don’t know” Rosa said honestly. “Or maybe I’m finally over what happened last year” she added before remembering. “That doesn’t mean that I like you. You guys still royally fucked me over. Twice” 

“I--” Granger was interrupted by the first burst of fireworks. Rosa’s eyes glittered, as she watched multiple colours, swirls of sparks and a phoenix flying above them. The twins had worked on their fireworks since the OWL’s; the shapes were sharp and clean, perfected. 

“I’m sorry” Granger lifted up her volume, through the pops.

“It’s not something I can forgive just like that” Rosa said, while the twins were lighting up more fireworks.

“I know” Granger said, bittersweet. 

They both quieted themselves, just watching the popping lights. The lights weren’t super bright since the sun was still shining, but beautiful nevertheless. The twins were giggling to each other.

Rosa’s eyes were on the sky, thus she didn’t notice when one of them scooped some snow up, and threw it straight towards Rosa, hitting at her chest. She didn’t move at all or react at the snowball’s impact, the sound concealed by the loud popping of the fireworks. The twins ran up to her.

“You ok?” they asked in unison, looking concerned and slightly weirded out. 

“What?” Rosa asked as their bodies towered over her sitting form blocking the view of the fireworks.

“George just hit you with a snowball” one of them - apparently Fred - stated. Rosa looked down at herself, seeing the remnants of a snowball on starting from her chest and going down to her stomach on her jacket. She paled straight away all confidence and comfortableness leaving her body at once. 

She swallowed audibly. “I’ll go inside” she blinked, getting up and rushing into the house. As she stepped through into the living room, Remus saw her distress immediately. He stood up.

“What happened?” he questioned. Rosa rushed past him without acknowledging him, going upstairs to the nearest empty room. 

Closing the door and taking off her jacket, Rosa started with her hands. Pinching every single finger, she made sure she could feel that fine. Fisting her wrist up slowly up to her elbow squeezing on the way, she was now sure that she had feeling through her arms, though it fainted the further up she went. She grabbed the bottom of her legs frantically starting to give them the same treatment.

All Rosa could think about was that she might be getting worse. Sure her chest had the least feeling, but the thought had invaded her mind. There was also the fact that she was supposed to go back to this life. This life that gave her these scars, made her not to feel well. She was expected to back to that willingly. Today. At that her chest started to heave.

There was a knock, followed by the creak of the door. Who Rosa expected to be Remus - her back was at the door - closed the door after stepping into the room. Rosa didn’t stop her inspection of her body. 

“Rosa” his tone was gentle but strong.

“Give-- give me a second” she responded, now on top of her left leg. She moved up her stomach, squeezing on her hip, feeling it clearly. Rosa reached for her shoulders, squeezing. No feeling. Her heart sank, it wasn’t like she could feel that yesterday, but it also meant that she wasn’t getting better. She squeezed again. Nothing. 

“Rosa” she could hear his steps coming towards her. “The twins told me what happened” 

Rosa ignored him, now starting to hit her shoulder in hopes of feeling something. Before she could hit her shoulder the third time, Remus grabbed her hand not letting the hit fall. Bringing up her other hand to hit her shoulder again, Remus took that too into his hands and walked around to face his daughter, not letting her hands from his.

“What’s in your mind, Rosa?”   


“I-- I thought… just… I--”   


“Deep breath then talk, okay, sweetheart?” he instructed. 

Taking a deep breath, Rosa spoke, “I thought I--” another shivering deep breath, “--was getting better”

“Rosa, it’s slow. You don’t get feeling back just like that” he talked with a soft tone.

Rosa looked up to his eyes, “H-how--”   


“You think that after I found out that you could stand a Cruciatus curse that I did nothing? I went to talk to Poppy” he said it like it was the most obvious thing ever. “It takes time. Just because you can’t feel a bloody snowball doesn’t mean that you’re not improving” 

“You’re sure?” Rosa asked.

“I would not lie to you. Not again, and not about this” he promised seriously. Something about it made her feel secure, maybe it was his tone of voice, maybe it was just Rosa’s desperation in wanting to believe him. Whatever it was, her demeanor relaxed significantly.

She breathed together with him multiple times, still trying to block thoughts that doubted his words and herself in the process.

“I need… I need a minute” Rosa nodded to herself, trying to get her thoughts together. She had to admit, Remus was good at giving her facts that soothed her. 

“I’ll stay with you. Sit down” Rosa grimaced, but did slump down onto the bed. Remus sat right next to her, waiting for her to start the conversation if they were to have one. 

Rosa’s head was swimming in thoughts. She would have to leave today, that was a fact. Why not embrace it? Would it be cruel? They had few memories together, especially good ones. Would she be able to cherish the ones made on this day after she left? 

After few minutes of silence, them just sitting by each other, Rosa opened her mouth. “You’re a good Father” she whispered the fact into the silent air. She felt Remus taking her into a sideways hug, filled with something Rosa could only describe as love.

“I love you, you know that right?” with quilt thumping in her chest Rosa nodded. “More than anything, Rosa. More than anything”  Rosa quickly decided that opening her mouth had been a mistake.

  
  


Rosa had spent the day mostly inside only taking a break from the group to go outside for a small walk. Other than that, she found herself sitting in an armchair by the fireplace, in front of the decorated christmas tree. She people watched, rarely speaking up in the conversation. 

Fred and George came around to have a short talk with her, apologizing. They ended up pulling some Christmas crackers (Rosa lost both times). Somewhere in the process she decided that the twins were her favorite Weasley children. William - or Bill as he insisted to be called - had a short conversation with her, most likely with the only motivation to extend an invitation to his and Fleur’s wedding during the summer. Rather than shooting it down straight away, Rosa politely said that she’d think about it. Tonks had immediately went on a tangent on how Rosa now had to be a bridesmaid in hers and Remus’ wedding. 

Craning her neck to the stairs, Rosa saw Potter and Ginerva looking quite snug. Interesting. 

“Granger?” she whispered to the girl who seemed to be knitting something resembling a baby sized beanie. She lifted her eyes from the string. “Is there something going on between Potter and the youngest Weasley?” she kept her voice low, hoping that the others around were too deep in their talks not to give their’s any attention. 

Granger let out a small giggle. “Yeah, we’re just waiting for them to act on it. Don’t tell Ron though, I think he’s still oblivious to it” she quickly went back to her knitting after answering and noticing that the probably-soon-to-be-couple were coming back to the living room together. 

“Oi, Rosa!” one of the twins ran inside. “Is your flying any good?” 

Rosa shrugged slightly, “Depends what you think is good” 

“Which Quidditch team you support?” he asked quickly as if the answer would tell him anything about her flying skills.

“I mean, I never liked Quidditch much… Fath-- Remus always supported the Harpies. Though I hear Puddlemere has Oliver Wood in their ranks so maybe either them?” 

All of the Weasley’s scowled. “In this house--” the twin started.

“--Cannons” Ronald finished for him. Rosa shrugged for what seemed like the upteenth time. 

“I don’t really care. The thought of an all female team is kind of cool so I’m going to stick with the Harpies” 

“If you were to play, which position would you want?” 

“Seeker, probably… Maybe Keeper? Not a chaser, my flying is not that good” 

“We’re having a four against four, Weasley Christmas Match. One team is Ron, Harry, Bill and me. The other is Charlie, Ginny and Fred. You want to be a Keeper?” 

“Do you have an extra broom laying about?” Rosa asked. 

“You can use Ron’s old Cleansweep” 

“Ok.” she smirked before adding a defiant,  “You’re going down Weasley” There were some ‘ooh’s’ in the room by the ‘grown-ups’. Rosa stood up, put on her jacket and went out together with presumably George. Pretty much everyone except for Mrs. Weasley came outside to watch the game. Rosa didn’t even get to mount her broom before Remus told her to be careful and watch out for the bludgers.

“It might be my first time playing Quidditch, but I’m not stupid” she smiled and flew up to the wooden home made hoops. The opposing team were wearing what looked like muggle high vision vests. Rosa assumed that they were from Mr. Weasley’s random muggle things collection. 

In her team, Charlie played seeker as well as the captain (as he was the oldest, whined George), Ginerva was the Chaser, and George the beater (who apparently would do double time and work as a Chaser too). In the other team, Bill the eldest, was playing Chaser and Captain, Potter was obviously the Seeker and Fred had a beaters bat hanging from his belt. 

Mr. Weasley was the referee, though he kept his feet firmly on the ground. He had a whistle - definitely a muggle one - which he blew into, not before reminding everyone to play nicely, and releasing the Quaffle, one bludger (Mrs. Weasley’s own rules; safer to have one maniac ball in the air than two), and the Snitch. The game begun. 

Ginerva managed to get the Quaffle first, which Rosa appreciated. The family she was playing against were brought up on the sport, meaning that Rosa would most likely not be a match for them. She mirrored Ronald’s movements, staying to guard the middle hoop whilst keeping her attention on the Quaffle and the bludger. 

Ginerva passed the Quaffle to Fred who quickly dodged the Bludger his twin had sent his way. He passed the Quaffle back to his little sister, who sent it booming towards the tallest hoop. Ronald saved it just by an inch. 

Bill grabbed the ball, starting to speed towards Rosa, who gripped her broom a bit more tightly, and moved in between of the middle and the left hoop to match Bill’s trajectory. Out of the corner of her eye, Rosa saw the Bludger coming towards her slowly but surely. She didn’t move.

“DODGE!” Remus shouted from the ground. Rosa refused to move, keeping her eyes right on Bill. He lifted his throwing hand together with the Ball, going for the left hoop. Rosa dove towards it, going through the hoop from behind to block the Quaffle’s way and dodging the Bludger in the process. Sha passed the Ball to Fred. People in the ground were clapping, clearly they weren’t expecting her to block anything. 

The game went on, Rosa managed to block most of the throws that were coming her way, she noticed that Bill’s throws were getting stronger and stronger as time went by. He was clearly going easy on her in the beginning, but now he was grunting after every throw. The other team were winning, mostly because George was helping Bill so much, whilst Fred tried to block his brothers whenever Ginerva was attacking the hoops. Potter and Charlie were somewhere outside of Rosa’s vision, still chasing the golden Snitch. 

Even though Rosa still wasn’t really too-too into the game, she understood why people would love playing it. She herself hadn’t flown in a while and realized how freeing just soaring through the air was. It made her miss her flying lessons, the only time she would’ve been allowed to fly. She laughed through the game, not caring that the others were apparently taking it way more seriously than she was. The game after a good 45 minutes was 90-60, oh, 90-70, Ginerva just scored again. Rosa cheered happily, very unlike herself. Something was getting into her for sure.

Remus was being a proper cheerleader, cheering and hooting every time Rosa blocked the Quaffle. Fleur was the same whenever Bill would touch the Quaffle. It was an entertaining game. 

Once more, Bill was shooting fast towards straight towards her, on the middle hoop. As he was about to throw he took a hard right, and threw the ball towards the lower hoop. Diving once more Rosa came from behind the hoop. She knew she would be unable to get to the Ball in time with the old broom, so she decided to jump, midair. There were shouts from the ground and from the players. Rosa’s fist hit the Quaffle, sending it the opposite way; a successful block. She latched on the hoop as her body smashed straight to it, her hands and elbows gripping onto it, holding on for dear life. After a second of dangling, Rosa pulled herself up the wooden pole, to sit in the hoop.

Laughing, she yelled “Can someone get me down?!” just to be sure someone would hear her. In that exact moment, Potter came down from the clouds together with Charlie, fist tightly around the tiny golden ball. 

“Lucky bastard” Rosa mumbled whilst the other team hollered and cheered their win. Sure the game was just play, but still… winning would’ve been nice. Fred flew up to her. 

“Nice save, Dawn” he smiled, offering his arm for her to lean on whilst propping herself onto the back of his broom. They flew to the ground, all smiles despite their defeat. 

“Are you absolutely insane?!” Remus scolded her straight away.

“Oh, come on, Mr. Lupin! That was a great save!” Ginerva opposed his words.

Rosa giggled slightly. “I knew someone would cast an  _ Arresto Momentum _ if I fell. I mean, Granger is here for crying out loud! She’s done it like a million times before. Plus, there’s snow to make the fall nice and soft so there was practically no risk” she rebutted all of Remus’ future points.

“Smart ass” he mumbled under his breath, “At least warn us to have our wands ready next time” 

“Next time?” Rosa questioned, not expecting to get another invite to play Quidditch with the Weasley family. 

“Oh, hell yes, there will be a next time! DIBS ON DAWN FOR MY NEXT TEAM!” Ginerva shouted.  Rosa could hear George groaning. “You could be better than Ron” the youngest redhead finished.

“OI!” Ronald shouted from behind the two Gryffindors, in faked offence. Rosa did have to admit that the compliment she was given made her insides feel warm and appreciated, like she belonged. She couldn’t remember the last time she had so much fun. 

They went back into the house at the perfect timing, Mrs. Weasley had just put the turkey on the table, which was surrounded by a glorious feast that could rival Hogwarts’. 

The dinner differed from lunch in many ways. People asked questions from Rosa, no one even thought twice if she actually belonged in the table. The red headed family included her in the conversations, asking opinions and thoughts. The youngest siblings seemed to be hoovering through their food, wanting to open their presents. It was like they accepted her there, even Potter was making direct small talk with her.

“Oh, go on into the living room then” Mrs. Weasley said after the kids had been expectantly staring at her for one too many minutes. Remus sighed since he hadn’t finished his plate, but got up like everyone nonetheless.

Rosa sat herself in the furthest armchair from the Christmas tree, knowing that she wouldn’t get a present from anyone else except Remus. The man in question sat on the armrest next to Rosa, looking fondly down at her. Digging to his pockets whilst the others were going through the presents under the tree, and got out a little wrapped box and handed it to Rosa.

With a wide grin Rosa accepted the gift.

She carefully unwrapped it, and revealed something that looked like a jewelry box. Rosa figured that maybe Remus had gotten her another Lupin family heirloom. Opening it up, it was a golden lion dangling from a golden half circle. It was like a half of a bracelet, though the other half was nowhere to be seen.

“What is it?” she asked, curious. 

“You’ll see in a bit” Remus smiled mischievously which made Rosa even more confused.   

Rosa turned her attention to everyone else opening up their multiple presents, smiling at each of them, satisfied at what they had received. Ginerva was sitting cross legged at the base of the tree, picking out presents and reading out the names written on the wrappers.

“DAWN!” she shouted, throwing the soft package right to her lap, which made Rosa jump. Not once had Rosa received more than one present a year. Her mother’s gift of a dress for the Malfoy Ball never counted, though Remus would always give her something. But never, would she get more than that. Looking down extremely confused, she took a glance up at her Father.

“Not me” he smirked, gesturing her to open it. 

More savagely than before, Rosa ripped off the wrapping paper and revealed a jumper. It was scarlet with a neat ‘RD’ knitted onto it with yellow yarn. 

“Look at that. You got your own Weasley jumper” Remus said giddily. 

“What?” Rosa asked, not aware of this jumper tradition.

“Molly knits something for everyone each year. Everyone has a jumper with their initial on it. She probably gave you the ‘D’ letter too so yours won't mix with Ron’s” he explained. Looking down at the piece of handmade clothing in her lap, Rosa ran her hand over the letters gently. It wasn’t the most perfectly knitted jumper (especially if one compared it to the ridiculously priced one Rosa was currently wearing), but it was more special. It was perfect. After a moment of appreciating the work that went into making the jumper, she lifted her head looking for the one ginger she wanted to talk to.

“Mrs. Weasley?” she called.

“Yes, dear?” the witch asked, a broad smile on her face that could only be the result of all of her children being happy at the same time. She was standing by the wall just looking the scene unfolding in front of her.

“Thank you” Rosa simply said.

“Oh, no need to thank me, darling. Everyone part of the family gets one” Rosa’s smile fell quickly after hearing the latter sentence leaving the witch’s mouth. Her eyes fell to the floor, starting to realize that she should’ve just gone to the empty house she had once called home and spent her holidays there. 

“Rosa!” Tonks called for her. Everyone suddenly seemed to be looking at her, all excited. Rosa found herself feeling a bit creeped out with that many smiles coming her way.    
Before she had any proper time to question it, Tonks was coming her way with a huge rectangular box, that if put upright could probably rival her height. Walking up to her, Tonks laid the box onto her lap, looking at her with a grin so wide she was practically jumping up and down. 

“Go on”  she instructed when Rosa would not do anything. 

With her hands shaking she gently opened the box, a part of her feeling like she was about to get pranked. Multiple times she had to remind herself that she was not surrounded by Slytherins that had a tradition of doing just that. 

Inside the box laid the most sleek and beautiful broom Rosa had ever seen. Her mouth gaped open just staring at the devise, not capable of making speech work in this moment. She dipped her hand into the box to touch it, feeling the spark of magic running through it. It was mahogany, deep reddish brown, the twigs at the end were perfectly in unison swooshing together in a curvy shape.

“Here” Remus took the half-bracelet-lion-thing from her lap and snapped it in place at the end of the broom. “Just hold your hands just under it and you’re in the correct position” he instructed, explaining the pretty accessory. Still speechless, Rosa just stared at the golden lion.

“I remember you saying that your Mother would never get you a broom. This one is a Spudmore production - he’s the guy who owns the company that makes the Nimbus’ and Firebolts and all that - I think this one is made of one of the older Firebolts mashed together with a Nimbus 2000, one of his experiments when making  _ the _ Firebolt - I bought it from Spudmore himself, he owed me one- it’s not the newest--”   


“It’s perfect” she cut her off, still keeping her eyes on the broom.

“Everyone got it for you together” Tonks was practically beaming. “Like everyone’s welcome to the family gift” she added.

Rosa felt her eyes becoming moist, and from experience she knew that they were reddening. With a quick sniff, she took the broom out of the box and stood up. 

“Thank you” she said awkwardly, holding back sobbing. “If-- If you’d excuse me for a moment” when the last word left her mouth, Rosa felt a tear falling onto her cheek. She rushed upstairs, feeling everyone’s fond smiles on her back. 

She walked straight to the same room where she had gone earlier that afternoon, now actually locking the door behind her. She knew what she had to do, but the sobbing was getting in the way of her plans. Carefully, she laid the broom onto the bed before letting her mind roam free.

_ I don’t want to go. _

_ I don’t want to go. _

_ I don’t want to go. _

_ I don’t want to go! _

_ I DON’T WANT TO GO! _

_ What happens if you don’t? Remember why you’re doing this. _

With a steady flow of tears flowing from her eyes, Rosa took her wand out, magixing her hair curly and to a neat updo. Her chest heaved as she did the same to her face, putting on the make up she had planned the day before. Rosa made sure that the magic would be water/tear proof. Something told her that she’d do a lot more crying later on the evening. Her skin was smooth and perfected, her eyes slightly glittery and her lashes long and black as night. Opening her pouch, she summoned her dress up, and slipped into it whilst swatting teardrops off of her cheeks.

She threw her wand onto the bed, reaching for her back to zip herself up. She got the zipper halfway up, only to start maneuvering her body trying to reach for it again. Hearing the lock of the door ‘click’ behind her, Rosa again didn’t react, just let the door open. 

“Rosa” Remus sighed, a hint of disappointment in his tone. He closed the door, saddened, and charmed it to lock. “Why are you so upset?” 

“I can’t--!” she took a shivering deep breath to speak, “I can’t zip-p up my-y dress” she sobbed, her hands still wondering around her back trying to get the dress to close on itself. Remus in turn, took some confident steps towards her before he was directly behind her. Rosa could feel him moving some rogue strands of hair out of the way.

“Straighten up, sweetheart” he instructed, Rosa followed his request, the fact that he was still calling her 'sweetheart' stabbed her in the gut. He easily zipped up the back of the dress, not commenting on the multiple slashes he saw peeping from her skin that the dress now concealed. 

“Turn” he ordered, keeping his hands on her shoulders whilst she twirled. Looking up at him, his eyes were filled with sad pride. “My beautiful daughter” he just said looking at the crying mess of a girl in front of her. Rosa glued her eyes to the floor but Remus brought his fingers underneath her chin and raised her head gently, forcing her to look at him.

“What are you doing, Rosa?” if the disappointment wasn’t there before, it was there now. He was genuinely confused. But still, he kept on wiping her tears away whenever they dropped onto her cheeks. 

“I-- I can’t” she managed to get out, completely taken over by simple shame. “I ne-need t-to go” she stuttered in the midst of her discomfort.

“What makes you think I’m ever going to let you go, Rosa? Especially where I think you are going” he asked, wanting so badly to know the answer. “Aren’t we enough for you--”   


“N-No!” she exclaimed immediately, her expression desperate for him to believe her words. “I n-never said I  _ wanted _ to go-o!” speaking with an elevated volume, the words confused Remus even further. 

“And why you think I’m going to let you?” he repeated the question. 

Rosa’s head bowed down in shame. “I was…--” she tried gathering up her courage to be honest. “I was s-supposed to-o...--”   


“Go on” the wizard encouraged the weeping girl.

“I was s-supposed to br-- break your heart-t” she sniffled and Remus took a step back from her. Rosa felt a piece of her heart die just by that single step. 

“Supposed to?” he pressed.

“I ca-- can’t!” Rosa shouted, bringing her now sleeved arms around her. “I can’t” she repeated. 

Remus sighed. “Then now, what?” he asked, before continuing his questioning, “I can’t tell you how… disappointed I am that you’re even considering this. We’ve given you a chance in a family. We’ve offered help-- why are you rejecting everything? I know you want it, I’ve been watching you this last week, you seem genuinely happy! I’ve never seen you like this before, smiling enjoying others’ company... What do they have that we don’t? Why do always you run from all of this?” he seemed extremely frustrated. What hit Rosa was no matter how red his face was getting, or how frustrated he’d become, not once did he take an angry step towards her, not once did he raise his hand to strike her. Another stream of tears made through Rosa’s cheeks.

“I’m not-- I’m not running a-away. I-I’m doing the opposite, I’m-- I’m trying to be brave” her voice was barely a whisper. 

“Self-sacrifice is not brave” Remus told her as if he actually believed the words.

“Without self sacrifice, Harry Potter wouldn’t’ve stopped You-Know-Who” Rosa stated, for the first time her voice didn’t waver. 

“Rosa, all I want for you to be safe” he said, defeated.

“Then you… y-you should let me go” 

“If you want to go, you break my heart” Remus gave her the ultimatum. Rosa’s face contorted into a frown. “I can’t let you leave just like that, Rosa” 

_ He’ll kill all of you. _

Rosa just looked at him, unable to come up with anything. “Did you prepare a speech to give me? Reasons to disown you? Or were they all lies?” Quilt. It was a singular feeling of quilt over the realization of her wronged actions. 

“Lies” she said honestly. “Tell-- tell me-e you hat-te me” she requested.

“What?”

“Make it-- it easy a-and tell me you hate-e me, p-please” she pleaded, looking completely pathetic with her wet face. 

“No” he said with finality. “I told you today. I love you more than anything. That will never change” 

Rosa shook her head, failing at keeping her whimpers to herself. “Pl-Please!” 

“Never” he repeated. There was a clear chime of a grandfather clock downstairs. Rosa counted seven chimes, panic rising in her gut more and more.    


“I-- Please, I need to go!” 

“You’re more safe here. This is non-negotiable, Rosa--”

“I’m alw-always on your back, I’m a complete bitch to you and I-- I never let you in! The only contact we ever have is when-n I have a nightmare and-- I-- I was rude to Tonks! I’ve called you a Monster more times that I can count.. And.. and I-- I lie all the time-e. All the time, constantly. I called Granger a mug-- mudblood! Multiple times! I don’t belong here! You w-wouldn’t want me here, just d-disown me already! I don’t want to wait for it to happen-- s-so we have to have these discussions where-e I eventually just run anyway” Rosa listed quickly, knowing that she was running out of time. Maybe if she couldn’t break Remus’ heart, he would break hers. 

“And you haven’t done any of those things since you took a step out of the Hogwarts Express” 

“Because I wanted--” Rosa cut herself off, knowing that if she confessed to actually care for him outloud directly, he’d never let her go.

“You can never do anything that would just… change my mind about this. I’m not letting you go to Death Eaters to become one! You are not one of them!” he raised his voice gradually, making sure not to frighten her. 

“I..--” Rosa knew what to say in turn to leave. It would be the end of their relationship. But that would be worth it. It would keep everyone safe. That burden, no matter how difficult to bear, Rosa decided it would be worth it. It would be worth the knowledge that the family that embraced her as their own would be safe. But that didn’t make her original plan anymore easier. 

“You are a good person. Why can’t you see that?” Remus asked.

Rosa took a deep shaky breath. She locked their eyes knowing that this was the last time that he’d look at her like that; with love, rather than with hate. A tear hit her cheek just as she opened her mouth. “I-- I killed Sirius Black” she whispered the confession. 

Remus’ head cocked, his eyebrows came together. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He shook his head, running his hand down chin in distress.

“No. Bellatrix--” 

“Stood next to me. The spell left from my wand” Rosa couldn’t bare to look at him, he looked so utterly heartbroken. 

“You’re-- No. You’re lying” his eyes were growing red in disbelief. “You’re not a murderer” the statement ended with a sob leaving both of their throats. 

“I killed Siri--”   


“Don’t say his name” the surprising order cut her off. He sounded angry, like… like Rosa was committing blasphemy.  

“I-- I killed him, whether I say his name or not. I killed y-your last living best-- best friend” Rosa went on, no matter how much it hurt.

“No” Remus said in disbelief. 

“I killed Sirius Black” she repeated. Remus looked at her again, the love he had in his eyes completely gone; his body now completely frozen, his eyes leaking. Rosa took her wand out, shrunk the broom and stuffed it into her pouch. Before turning to face him again she had to take another deep breath just so that she’d actually have the strength to walk away from him.

Turning around, Remus’ eyes were filled with half anger, half sadness. Rosa looked at him for the last time before bewitching the door open and her Father did nothing. She had successfully broken his heart. In the process, she managed to break her own too. 

Rosa stepped out of the room, after couple more steps she heard a loud thump from behind her, assuming that Remus had collapsed, sobbing on his knees. Sniffling loudly, Rosa ran down the stairs, coming back to the living room that was now quiet. 

Most of the family was staring at her, wondering at her sudden dress change. Ron shrugged, mumbling something about being a ‘rich pureblood’. Rosa tried to ignore the looks.

“Ton--” her voice broke, everyone could see the tears still falling from her eyes. “Tonks” Rosa ran to her, and gave her a parchment envelope. Tonks took it, reading who it was addressed to.

 

_ To my Father and the Order, in the event of my death. _

 

“What is this?” Tonks demanded to know.

“Keep it secret, keep it safe. Take care of him” is all Rosa could manage to whisper to her before going to the fireplace and taking a fistful of floo powder. 

"ROSA!" Tonks shouted and no one else did much of anything, couple questions were asked, Rosa couldn’t hear them properly she could only hear beeping in her ears. 

Turning around to look at the party for the last time… everyone looked sad for her, they pitied her. They saw the sadness and regret in her eyes. Rosa wanted to stay, but she knew that by leaving all of these people would stay alive. At least for one day longer. 

The green flames took over and she stepped into the living room of her house; the one she had once called home. Draco was waiting for her, sitting on the royal armchair Madilyn used to vacate. He stood up quickly after seeing the flames erupting.

Rosa immediately latched onto him, crying onto his shoulder, his arms securely holding her. She cried, cried and cried. Draco didn’t ask her any questions, just let her let it all out. 

“Told you, you’d look beautiful” he whispered to her ear. They had 10 minutes. 

10 minutes before they would floo to the Malfoy manor. 

10 minutes for Rosa to get herself together.

10 minutes for Rosa to forget all about the fireworks, Quidditch, Christmas Dinners and love.

10 minutes and Rosa would finally meet Voldemort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOh, writing the ending for this was heartbreaking, but also the scene has been in my head since I started writing this fic.  
> As always I thank you for the continuous support and for reading,  
> if you feel like it, leave me a bookmark/comment/kudos or I will just wish you a lovely weekend/week whenever you're reading this!


	40. (dis)loyalty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 40 chapters, 246 pages... DAMN. Okay, so I'm treating you to a loong and important chapter that took me basically the whole week to write. This is a chapter that has been in my head for a good while, so I hope you enjoy it!

Rosa was now sat down on her home’s couch, breathing deeply after Draco forced her to sit down. He had given her a vial of something dark, which she had downed without a question. The exhaustion that had followed her from the Burrow had quickly disappeared, like she was given a strong caffeine shot.

“We should get going soon” Draco said, looking at his fancy wristwatch. He was wearing all black, only exception being his pocket square that matched his eyes and Rosa’s dress. Standing up, Rosa looked around the living room, her eyes landing on a much too familiar door.

“Before we go… I need to check something” she stated, eyes never leaving the door. “Come with me” she added, before walking to the heavy door and pushing it open. Taking a deep breath she summoned her courage and took her wand out. 

With a quick Lumos charm the room lit up as the pair walked down the stairs in to the dungeons. The air was cold and humid, their footsteps echoing. It smelled of dust and old mold. In the middle of the small space, Rosa’s mattress was still in place. 

“Rosa..--” Draco’s breath hitched as he saw the mattress, Madilyn had clearly seen no reason to come down here or summon the elves to clean it. Dried blood had stained the thing, its old colour concealed completely. Rosa simply stared down at it, summoning all her old memories to go away.

“Why?” Draco asked simply, slightly confused.

“I just… wanted to see if she had gotten rid of it. And…” she swallowed audibly, “I wanted to remind myself what I’m fighting for”

 

+++

 

They stepped through the fire into the ballroom which was decorated, but still empty of people. Mrs. Malfoy was talking to one of the elves, nervous. Mr. Malfoy was nowhere to be seen; he just like Madilyn was still rotting in Azkaban.

“Draco!” Mrs. Malfoy exclaimed, rushing towards them and taking Draco into her warm embrace. It seemed like Draco hadn’t spent the holidays in the manor, maybe Rosa would ask about it later. She turned to Rosa, assessing her from head to toe. “You look lovely as well, Miss Rosa. It’ll be an unforgettable evening” the woman’s smile was empty and worried. She was just as scared as anyone else attending the Ball today. 

“The manor looks lovely, Mrs. Malfoy” Rosa greeted, her pureblood manners in full swing. Truly, the ballroom looked beautiful. The theme this year was ‘loyalty’, which didn’t show in the decor. It was normal Malfoy ball extravagance. There was a tree over eight feet tall, beautiful and fully decorated with green, silver and black baubles. On top, instead of a star, there was a black snake. No presents lay under the tree, it was merely a centerpiece. Rosa suddenly missed the warmth of the Burrow. 

Enchanted stars veiled the ceiling and they glittered down, fading away before they could reach anyone’s head. Buffet tables framed the dancefloor, all of them with silk tablecloths without a single wrinkle. A band of elves and fairies were getting ready with their instruments, ones that Rosa couldn’t even start to try and name. All of the creatures were still dressed in their rags, but their skin looked untouched and clean. Rosa suspected that the Malfoys had put glamours on them to conceal their scars and mistreatment. Abuse of house elves was widely accepted among the community, but the lack of abuse was a badge of honor; you had good servants that you did not need to discipline. Today, the elves had less proof of abuse than Rosa did. 

Rosa linked her hand around Draco’s arm, securing it in place as Mrs. Malfoy continued to run about the room. 

“Don’t leave my side today” Draco whispered to her quickly. 

Rosa turned to look at him, “Never” 

  
  


People started trickling in soon enough. Rosa noticed that this year there were more participants, many of whom were keeping their forearms exposed blatantly showing off their Dark Marks like trophies. Rosa and Draco greeted everyone, since it was Draco’s duty as the man of the house whilst Lucius was gone. As Draco’s future betrothed, it became Rosa’s duty as well.

Professor Snape glided in wearing his regular teaching robes and his stone hard poker face. He gave Rosa a meaningful look, like they both knew they were working for the other side. Snape wasn’t the only one who had treated Rosa a bit differently than normal. Mrs. Parkinson who last year pretty much called her a slut to her face, was now all smiles and watched Rosa like she was scared of her. 

Everyone seemed to be scared of Rosa for some reason. Surely being immune to the Cruciatus wasn’t that terrifying? Maybe this was the result of respect or actually being in a good standing with the Dark Lord. Whatever the reason was, Rosa had to stare at people’s fake smiles as they entered, knowing full well that if they could, they would curse her straight to afterlife.

What she did not expect was for Dolores Umbridge to prance in all done up and still wearing her signature colour (and sticking out like a sore thumb because of it). Rosa’s hand squeezed Draco’s arm at the first sight of her. Still, on the top of her hand one could read ‘I will learn my place’, carved to last forever. 

“Calm, Rosa” Draco whispered to her, but didn’t change his polite expression. Rosa put her fake smile on as Umbridge approached them.

“Ah! What a lovely pair you too make” she said with her high voice, and… she was signing everything to Rosa. She pointed at the two, bringing her fingers together to a pair, as if Rosa couldn’t understand her. It was the exact same thing she had done to Hagrid last year, publicly shaming her pointing out to everyone that she was a ‘half-breed’. Rosa could feel Draco tensing beside her, offended in her behalf.

“She is quite capable of understanding your speech, Miss Umbridge. I would warn you not to--”   


“Please, Draco,  _ darling. _ ” Rosa started her eyes glued to the toad faced witch. She used the title simply to indicate possession, of status. “Let’s not argue with people who are  _ lower rank  _ than us. As if they aren’t desperate enough.” Umbridge took a offeded step backwards. “It seems, Miss Umbridge, that I’ve learnt my place. I suggest you find yours” With a thick swallow Umbridge moved off, shocked, leaving the pair to be. 

Rosa took a shivering breath, letting her hand relax onto Draco’s arm. She could feel Draco desperately trying to bite down his amused smirk.

“Darling?” he laughed under his breath.

Rosa rolled her eyes, “Let me be theatrical” 

“Oh, I’m not complaining” he smiled down at her.

“I hate this” Rosa scowled, shaking her head annoyed. 

“Not too long now-- Hello, Mr. Greengrass” he cut his whisper off as the man together with Astoria, Daphne and Lady Greengrass walked up to them. Rosa bowed her head just like she had to every Lord that had come by. He too, had his forearm blatantly exposed. 

“Mr. Draco, Miss Dawn” the old wizard greeted, looking both of them up and down. His geeting was bordered with venom, his look wanted Rosa dead. Clearly he wasn’t too happy with Astoria’s reservation being broken by her. He stepped closer to Draco so that he could whisper in his ear, though Rosa could hear him clear as day. “You should expose your arm, boy. Wouldn’t want the other sluts getting confused over your status now, would you?” Draco didn’t react, but both of the men turned to Rosa when they heard the clear growl that left her throat. “This is what happens when you associate with half breeds” Mr. Greengrass said under his breath before walking with his family deep into the ballroom.

More familiar faces came through the doors. The Zabini family walked in, quite happy looking. Lady Zabini had a man in her arm that was most likely around 30 years younger than she was (the man was probably just out of Hogwarts). Blaise looked absolutely livid, though he did try to hide it. The Crabbes and Goyles walked in together, the Crabbes looking quite distraught and shameful after seeing Rosa glued to Draco’s arm. They walked straight to the bar. For some reason that lifted Rosa’s spirits a little.

Her cheery mood lasted just around three seconds, just until the Notts walked in. Of course, Lord Nott had his forearm exposed, Theodore didn’t. Rosa felt Draco stiffen after he saw his fellow Slytherin. They greeted the family, Theodore kept his eyes on Rosa even when acknowledging Draco. Rosa bit her teeth together, uncomfortable. Theodore didn’t leave with his family without first shooting Rosa a wink. It was Draco’s turn to let out a small angry growl.

“I don’t want you talking to him today” he said before explaining himself, “He’s been spreading rumours about you… saying things that…--” Draco shook his head in irritation. “Just don’t go near him, ok?” 

Rosa was desperately trying to keep the guilt within her and not to start screaming out the truth. Instead, she just nodded, not letting the topic to go on further. Draco kept his eyes on Theodore, as if it was his duty to make sure that Rosa would not be touched by anyone else but him. Technically, he was right.

Five more minutes lingered on before Mrs. Malfoy came to release them. Together, arms still linked gracefully they moved into the ballroom. Looking about, Rosa tried finding people that she’d actually want to talk to. The air was heavy; everyone was waiting for the guest of honor to show up. Though most of the guests were fearful of their leader, Rosa tried to ignore the exact feeling.

“Dance with me” Draco said, moving his arm so that he could take her hand to his. He didn’t wait for Rosa to answer, he just dragged her to the dancefloor where some odd couples were already dancing a slow waltz in time with the music. Draco put his right hand around Rosa’s waist, pulling her close.

“Is this oka--”   


“Yes” Rosa cut him off, putting her own left hand onto his shoulder and their free hands came together, holding each other. They started moving slowly around on the beat of the music, Draco leading Rosa who was much less educated on the art of ‘proper’ dancing.

“Who did you go to the Yule Ball with again?” Draco asked, his head next to hers, whispering into her ear whilst looking around the room, assessing everyone. The conversation seemed out of place, though it soothed Rosa somewhat. It was a good distraction of what was coming later on in the evening.

“I didn’t go” Rosa answered his question.

Draco’s eyebrows came together on her forehead. “Why?”   


“No one asked me. It would’ve been pathetic to go alone. Besides… I didn’t have any friends before last year, even though I lost them. It didn’t make sense to go to a social gathering if there was no one to go for” she explained.

Draco nodded, understanding. “Sounds lonely” Rosa shook her head in turn.

“I didn’t really know what loneliness was. I was always alone after we… you know, after our friendship. Everywhere I went I was alone, I didn’t know any different so… I didn’t know what the real appeal was, I guess. I just fantasized of having friends” 

“Was I in those fantasies?” Draco asked, Rosa could hear the grin in his question. 

“Yeah. My only friend ever made couple cameos” Draco laughed, proud and spinned Rosa twice around under his arm before taking her close again. 

“I like this” Rosa confessed, leaning her head onto Draco’s shoulder for a moment as they danced. 

The pair ignored the outside world for a moment, just enjoying swinging slowly together. They didn’t care about the other people’s looks; everything they were doing was appropriate to teenagers in their situation. Rosa relaxed into his hold, whilst Draco did the same but kept his eyes protectively at other people. He suddenly laughed at his own thoughts.

“Remember when we snuck to the kitchen and decided to bake a cake without the elves’ help?” he laughed into her ear. “We practically destroyed the place, flour everywhere”  Rosa couldn’t keep her snort of laughter in and accidentally stepped on Draco’s foot.

“I remember your Mother was livid!” 

“She didn’t let me fly for a week” Draco laughed, Rosa’s smile disappeared. Her mind went straight to her purse that sat on her armchair back home. Inside, she knew was her new broom, clipped on a golden accessory that would help her to sit in the correct position. The broom her mother had refused to ever get her. 

Draco had never needed to know what that felt like, being hated by one’s own guardian. He had never needed to wonder what the fear of being beaten to a pulp until now. He was lucky in Rosa’s eyes, even though his parents were bismal, even though he was branded. 

“Rosa?” Draco asked after her laughter died. Rosa hadn’t had the time to explain everything that had happened in the Burrow, just that Remus would not love her anymore. Draco hadn’t interrogated the upset girl, knowing that the evening would be tough enough without him prodding into her family business at that moment. 

“Would you mind if I just went to the loo? I’ll be back in a moment, I promise” Rosa asked warily, knowing that she had promised not to leave his side today. 

Draco looked at her, suspecting. “Are you going to barricade yourself in there and cry until the sun rises?” he asked, expecting honesty.

“No. I just need a moment, is all” she met his expectations.

“If you aren’t back in five minutes, I’ll come looking for you” Rosa nodded in understanding. It was fair, she was surrounded by Death Eaters after all. 

 

Rosa just sat in the toilet for three minutes, breathing. It was all she did, trying to get her thoughts together. She wanted to keep it together for two more hours; Draco had promised that they would floo back to her house at 10 p.m, pick her stuff and then go to France for the remainder of the Holidays. 

She tried forgetting the past week, the moments where she actually felt loved. Here she was barely even accepted, and the reasons for that acceptance were just despicable. Rosa was disgusted by herself that she’d once thought that people here knew her, loved her, would take her in like family. After spending a singular, truthful and open day with the Weasley’s… all she had known about family seemed to crumble. 

Casting a quick Tempus charm, Rosa knew that she would have to go back into the ballroom before Draco would come around knocking on the toilet door. She stepped out of the lavish and marbled room just to almost crash into someone.

The someone took hold of her and pushed her against the wall. Rosa’s mouth let out a whimper half in surprise and half in pure terror; she was suddenly reminded how much she hated unconsented touch. She looked at her attacker, only to be faced with Theodore’s smirking face. Leaning in immediately, he connected their lips gently.

Rosa tried to melt into the wall, half of her body paralyzed. She moved her face to the side, effectively refusing the kiss. Theodore pouted his lip comedically, but his grip on Rosa did not relent.

“You missed me, didn’t you?” he asked, cocking his head to one side, looking at Rosa with what to an outsider would look like affection. To Rosa it was more like predatory want. His left hand came to cradle her cheek.

“No” she stated, her voice strong and commanding. 

“Oh, don’t lie to me, Rosa… I see you in Malfoy’s hands, just so…  _ desperate  _ for a  touch that he won’t give you…” once more he leaned to her, kissing her hard. Rosa did not kiss back, she with a stern hand pushed him off of her. 

“Don’t touch me” she commanded, fire behind her eyes together with mild thread. Unconsented touch was something she had never been good with, but she refused to be scared of him. 

He didn’t like being rejected. “I want you, that’s what you wanted to hear, right? I want you, Rosa” once more, he stepped into her personal space. Rosa didn’t move, those words were edged into her brain. “I want you” his lips became attached to hers, she didn’t kiss him back. He didn’t compare. 

“I know you want me too” he whispered, getting frustrated with her being withdrawn. He kept on trying. Rosa kept her eyes firmly open, not letting herself to fantasise. 

“Stop” she said again, her voice now not as strong. He didn’t listen.

 

“ _ Get your filthy hands off her _ ”

 

Rosa didn’t know when the order echoed through her mind. She also didn’t know how Draco was capable of getting his fist onto Theodore’s jaw so quickly. 

Theodore was now leaning against the wall himself in pain, Draco couple feet away from him, eyes full of rage. What seemed to egg him on was the fact that Theodore was chuckling. The blonde’s fist went up into the air again. 

Against all of her logical thoughts, Rosa stepped in between the boys. “Stop” she said, ordering Draco this time. He froze.

Silver eyes went from Rosa to Theodore and back to Rosa. His fist came down. The rage disappeared. “The rumours are true” Draco stated, betrayed.

“Not all of them” Rosa said quickly, her shameful tears now spilling over. 

“Told you. This year’s prank would be the best” Theodore laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. He pushed himself off of the wall, straightening himself up.

“What?” Rosa and Draco asked together.

“ _ Come on _ , Draco. We tried telling you, she’s not bride material. But no, Mr. Malfoy has to be with her, she’s different, blah, blah, blah. Even Crabbe wasn’t serious when she was reserved to him! But you seem to be, it’s not right! She’s a slut. I mean, I’ve been snogging her since the start of term!” the Slytherin exclaimed. Rosa was now on the receiving end of Draco’s glare. “Think about it. I just kissed her, you punched me, her mind in uncontrollable, thoughts roaming free. What do you think the Dark Lord will think when he’ll look into it? Disloyalty is what! How do you think he will react to that?” Rosa felt her heart skipping a beat, and not in the good way.

“You prank is to get her killed?” Draco asked, still in disbelief. 

“As if we weren’t doing that previous years. It’s what she deserves!” Theodore sounded like he was so proud of his actions. 

“Get out of my house” he glared at the boy. “ _ Now _ ” 

Theodore seemed personally wounded by the demand. “Draco. She doesn’t belong here. Everyone thinks you should be with Astoria! We agreed on this! SHE’S A FUCKING HALF BREED SLUT!” he shouted, this time Draco did not raise his fist, he got his wand out instead.

“Get. Out.” Theodore scowled at his now ex-friend. 

“Think about it, Draco. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with her? She--”   


“I believe he asked you to leave” Rosa butted in, finally getting herself together enough to insert herself into the conversation. 

“You don’t have the right to talk to me, mudblood” he sneered at her and turned back to Draco, questioning. “Sure about that?”   


“Leave” 

“It’s your funeral” Theodore shrugged, walking off but not before giving Rosa a proper hateful glare. 

Draco and Rosa waited until Theodore’s footsteps echoed in the distance. The Gryffindor dared to look up at him, but couldn’t read his expression. He looked like he could burst into tears or murder someone at the same time. He looked at her, completely defeated. 

“Find Professor--” his voice broke, he had to clear his throat before continuing, “You find Professor Snape and bring him here” 

“Wh--”   


“Just do it!” he shouted, making Rosa flinch. 

“We should talk--”   


“Just find Severus!” he stared at the wall, denying himself of looking at the girl. His heart would go soft seeing her so pathetic, he knew it. Rosa nodded, not agreeing or disagreeing, but doing what he asked anyway without question. 

 

It didn’t take many minutes before Rosa came back to the toilet together with the Potions professor. Draco hadn’t moved an inch, still staring at the wall with the same expression, his hands still in firm fists. His ears perked when he heard the two stopping right behind him. 

“Check if she’s stable” Draco said, Rosa assumed he was addressing the Professor.

“I do not believe you give me any kinds of orders, Draco” Snape scowled, feeling ridiculed.

“Her mind is going to get her killed!” Draco shouted, finally turning around. “I’ve been blind, I didn’t take it into consideration that the Dark Lord would use Legilimency on her” 

Rosa’s head whipped to Draco, “What?” she knew what Legilimency was, and it would’ve been a lie if she would’ve said that only the word terrified. 

“Just check that she’s stable, build walls if you can-- please, Severus” he changed his tone from commanding to requesting in the middle of the sentence. Snape sighed and turned to look at the Gryffindor.

“Spying is not for you, child” he scowled.

“I’m not a spy” Rosa said, strong again. Snape let out a small expression of confusion through his regular poker face. 

“What is it that a  _ Lupin  _ does in here in that case?” the professor questioned.

“The Dark Lord requested my presence” 

Snape’s mouth went ajar, but just slightly. “Stupid child” he let out and took out his wand.  Rosa looked at him warily, not liking to be at the receiving end of a wand. 

The charm was already on Snapes lips, ready to invade her mind and build defences for it. But he was interrupted by Mrs. Malfoy’s shriek.

“DRACO! The Dark Lord is coming! All of you, into the ballroom, right this second!” she was the most disgruntled Rosa had ever seen the woman. Rosa assumed that she had been running around the manor looking from the couple. 

All colour drained from Rosa’s face hearing the woman’s words echoing through the hallway. Her mind was too open especially after Theodore inserted more fear into her thoughts. She was weak. She felt Snape grabbing her upper arm, drawing her close so that no one else could hear him.

“Listen to me and listen close. The Dark Lord is powerful, keep you mind under control. That mask you had on, last Spring. Put it on, right now, don’t let it fall. Keep your family safe” he warned. Rosa nodded, putting her neutral face on. 

Concentrating on pressing all emotion down like she had so many times before, Rosa stood motionless for a moment. Voldemort would be there, she had to press all of her fear down. All what had happened earlier that day, she pressed down to the furthest corner of her mind. Whatever she tried doing, all of her guilt regarding her relationship with Theodore and Draco wouldn’t go away. 

“We have to go” Draco said, taking her hand to place it in the crook of his arm. He refused to look at her.

“Draco--”

“No” he just talked over her, shutting her up quite sufficiently. They walked into the ballroom, everyone was standing in a three layer semi-circle. The guests made way for Draco and Rosa so that they would be standing on the front row together with the other highest ranked Death Eaters. 

There was a loud pop of Apparition. Rosa jumped violently, Draco’s other hand came to hold the top of Rosa’s. 

 

And there he was.

 

Lord Voldemort.

 

Red eyes commanded the space as all the women curtsied and the men bowed a deep 45 degrees. Rosa kept her eyes on the floor, terrified to rise them up to the snakelike commander. 

“Rise, my most loyal Death Eaters” even his voice gave Rosa chills. She was suddenly thankful that she was leaning on Draco or she would’ve fallen.

Everyone straightened themselves, now looking straight at their leader. Straight up fear took over Rosa’s body, her poker face flaunting slightly. She pressed the emotion away, but felt it still in her heartbeat. 

Voldemort had slits for nostrils, his movements elegant and smooth. If Rosa would’ve had the courage to look down she would’ve seen that the man was not wearing any shoes. Voldemort assessed everyone, looking the line from right to left. His and Rosa’s eyes met for a moment, he smiled. 

“Continue your festivities” he finally said after being satisfied with everyone in attendance. He walked further into the ballroom and sat on what could only be described as a silver throne on a pedestal. 

The music started once more, people started merrily dancing. 

Draco dragged Rosa into the buffet table, she didn’t oppose. She could feel Voldemort’s red eyes on her back, making her feel extremely uncomfortable. Draco offered Rosa a small sausage roll angrily, clearly still upset over everything had happened. Rosa didn’t blame him.

She ate the thing, Draco seemed to down some liquid in a tall glass and they took their places by the empty walls. They just stood there, not conversing with anyone or even each other. Rosa tried dropping her hand from his arm, but Draco refused it.

“Don’t leave my side” he whispered, keeping her hand in place. Rosa nodded, looking back into the room, she saw Voldemort staring at them, unhappy. His expression scared the living shit out of Rosa. She swallowed, thinking.

“Dance with me?” Rosa requested, somehow trying to satisfy the man on the throne without knowing how to achieve that goal.

Before Draco could open his mouth, Voldemort clapped his hands together three times, effectively silencing the ballroom completely. Everyone’s eyes went to him, frozen. 

The Dark Lord stood up, relishing the power he had over the silence. Rosa looked around warily, noticing how the ballroom was split in half. Most people who had their forearms exposed had their head held high, proud whilst the rest were fearful and nervous. Everyone gave the most amount of respect to the man standing higher than they did.

“Time for the night’s entertainment” Voldemort’s smile was feral as he laughed together with his followers. He walked down, motioning elegantly for people to spread out and move out of the way. The ballroom floor was now free of people, everyone surrounding on it by the walls. 

Voldemort’s hand came out, pointing through people moving slowly from left to right. Guest’s bodies froze in terror when his finger pointed straight at them, but every time it passed. Until he stopped, staring his smile right at Rosa and Draco.

“Miss Dawn” he called for her. Her breath hitched and she looked up at Draco who had tensed. He gave her a quick nod, and let her hand go. 

Rosa swallowed roughly and under everyone’s eyes walked over to the Dark Lord. She tried keeping her eyes on him, failing hard as she approached. She managed to hide her fear by curtseying again. Voldemort’s fingers came to cup her chin, forcing her to look up at his catlike eyes. 

“There have been rumours” he started, voice booming the hall dramatically, “And I of course, have my own theories as to why” he looked down at Rosa, studying her. Rosa herself could already tell what was to come, thus she tried keeping her breathing stable, preparing herself. “But we have to first see if these rumours are true, don’t we, Miss Dawn?” Rosa hated the way he said her name, suggesting that it could have power. 

“Yes, my Lord” Rosa agreed, as if she had any other choice. 

“I am glad” Voldemort took a couple steps back and took out his wand from the depths of his robes and confidently pointed it at Rosa. “ _ Crucio _ !” some guests flinched at the incantation, as it hit Rosa’s chest.

She had to take a step back, since the impact of the curse was harsher on her body than she had previously experienced. Pain it was not, just prinkling on top of her skin. To impress the crowd she straightened herself, head holding high, not affected by the curse.

Lord Voldemort released the curse on her and burst into amused laugh. Looking around at the amazed crowd, Rosa noticed that only Draco hadn’t joined in the giddiness of everyone. She faced the snakelike man once more who was coming down from his peak of amusement. 

“Bellatrix!” he called. Rosa hadn’t seen the witch earlier on the evening, but the woman appeared from the shadows eager. She gave the Dark Lord a deep bow before listing to her orders. “We shall see what two do” Rosa prepared by securing her stance, intimidated by the intense amusement and excitement in Bellatrix’s eyes.

Together, the two hit her with their curses. Rosa let out a small whimper, her eyes closing shut in discomfort. She was thrown into a memory, seeing her elf Galla holding her own wand, sending that same curse into her own body. She felt a tear leaving her eye, but she still held herself up. More impressed laughter around her ensued. 

“Rookwood!” Voldemort commanded and a third cruciatus hit her body. Only this time Rosa felt pain, proper pain. It wasn’t anything unbearable, but she felt the stabbing feeling everywhere and she definitely felt when her knees hit the floor with a painful crack. She bit her teeth together not to let a sound out, still resisting the curses. Death Eaters around the Gryffindor were looking on in awe, understanding her rank and respecting it. No one did anything to help her, just letting a person who was supposed to be one of them, a person who was in their ranks, suffer. 

Voldemort was still not satisfied with her, seemingly wanting to test the very core of Rosa’s capability. “Rowle!” he called for another man who happily pointed his wand at Rosa, who was now pleadingly shaking her head. No more, she wanted to beg, but didn’t find the capability in her to do so.

She heard the ringing echo of an incantation of a curse in her head and the searing pain in her body which she remembered from last Christmas. Collapsing to the cold floor, Rosa discovered that she was indeed capable of using her voice; she was now screaming. Body twitching and tears of agony leaving her eyes, the curses did not relent. 

“Travers!” another command left the Dark Lord’s lips and yet another cruciatus hit Rosa’s body. Her screams died, her mind slowly but surely turning into pulp. She found herself unable to move, barely even staying conscious through the unrelenting torture. Skin on fire and feeling as if knives were freely roaming through her, Rosa felt like death would be a merciful sentence. The pain was worse than she had ever experienced, too much to bear. The Death Eaters started laughing at her defeat, but still let the curses be afflicted on her, what felt like soon-to-be-corpse. Whatever Voldemort wanted to achieve by torturing her, he was failing. 

“My Lord, please!” immediately the curses left, Rosa must’ve not heard Voldemort giving the order to stop. What she did hear though, was the sound of her only friend, pleading. “Has she not proven her capabilities, my Lord?” Draco asked, his head hanging low on the floor in submission. 

Voldemort looked at the blonde boy and then to Rosa, who was now trying to get her breathing regular again. 

“Draco, my boy… are you not reserved to be engaged to Miss Dawn?” he interrogated him, making sure that each and every one of his followers could hear him.

“Yes, my Lord” Draco answered.

 

Voldemort took a moment to think.

 

“Ah… young love” Voldemort cackled together with the group at him. “Or…” he lifted a finger, entertaining his friends. He pointed his white wand again at Rosa, only this time a different incantation was spoken entirely. 

“ _ Legilimens _ !” instantly Rosa felt the invasion into her mind. She put her mask on immediately when she felt the Dark Lord trying to find any sort of information about the Order or Remus. That information she would not give. She was unable to block out his search for Draco though, but Rosa fought in another way. 

With all the energy she still had, she fed memories to him. She couldn’t build walls in her mind and she didn’t have enough knowledge to deceive the Dark Lord, but she was somehow able to give him specific memories to see rather than the ones Voldemort would actually find worth punishing for. 

In her memories, Rosa showed him when they were six, defeating the dragon and Draco destroying her heart with the help of his father. She showed him doing the same thing last year by reciting the words. On and on it went, showing Voldemort all the times Draco had done wrong by her. The pranks, the snogging other girls, the name calling. She didn’t want him to see any speck of attraction or love to seep through, but… the Dark Lord did find care. How they both wanted to keep each other safe.

“ _ Unrequited love _ ” he sighed, looking sadly at Draco before bursting into laughter. For a split second Draco’s and Rosa’s eyes met, the blonde looking satisfied with her capability to not get herself killed. But there was also a speck of disappointment that framed his expression. Rosa wasn’t able to put any kind of expression on, controlling her mind had taken so much energy that she already didn’t have out of her. 

“My boy, come here” Voldemort requested - scratch that - ordered Draco. With confident steps the Slytherin made his way to his master. “When I punish… No one shall come between me and my adversary. I do not care for young love” he spat out the last sentence off his mouth like venom on his tongue. 

“Yes, my Lord. I apologize, my Lord” Draco said quickly, keeping his head down.

“Hm… See I believe I can use you… Through punishment” Draco let himself be confused for a split second before bracing himself. “ _ Crucio _ ” as the red spark hit Draco’s chest, he was immediately screaming on the floor in never ending agony. 

Rosa’s head turned, looking at Draco writhing on the floor next to her. A sudden flame of anger went through her, together with immediate fury. Draco did not deserve this and Draco was the one she was supposed to protect. His voice, cracking sounded so horrible, so animalistic... Rosa had to stop it.

Moving was out of the question - her whole body seemed to be made out of steel, unable to bend in any way. With a good amount of pain, Rosa turned her head towards the Dark Lord, Draco’s screams echoing through her mind. On the edge of her mind was a memory of a dream, the dream where Draco was dead, no soul behind his eyes. That soul, that Rosa had grown up loving.

A scream rang through the ballroom, but it was not Draco’s - his screams seemed to have stopped. It was Rosa trying to do anything to make the dark wizard stop torturing her friend. What she didn’t know she was actually doing, was propelling her pain onto others. Quickly, Voldemort together with all of his followers who had raised their wands to curse Rosa were on the floor, in pain just like Draco had been just a second ago. Rosa heard their screams, relying the feeling of safety for a moment that her scream was able to give her. 

Gasps went through the ballroom, Rosa could feel a jinx hitting her side, most likely one of the guests trying to stop her. She did, after realizing what she was doing in order to keep Draco from screaming. But this… implementing pain onto the Dark Lord… Rosa knew she would be given the Death sentence. But somehow, she felt content. Remus was safe after all. Draco wasn't in pain. She could go.

Surprisingly as Voldemort stood, he did not curse her. He kept on laughing, and made everyone else laugh together with him until the whole room seemed to be the funniest place on Earth. 

“I HAVE MADE A WEAPON!” Voldemort shouted in glorious joy, his hands going up like he had just scored a goal. It seemed that whatever he had wanted out of Rosa, he had gotten; finally he was satisfied. 

Guests clapped and hollered in glee. “We will be invincible!” his smile was feral, and the way he looked at Rosa was so proud. “We shall celebrate this tonight! The sacrifice that Madilyn Dawn gave us by putting herself through Azkaban to give me… this” there were loud cheers and the music had started playing again, but Rosa couldn’t react to anything. She finally realized why the Dark Lord had wanted her here in the first place. She was a shield before, now she was in the artillery.

“Draco” Voldemort called for him and without a second though he stood up easily. He had recovered from the curse. “Nurse her to health. Make sure she learns her capabilities and knows how to use them in battle. And I assume that your other mission shall be successful before the end of term?” 

“Yes, my Lord. Absolutely, my Lord” he assured him. Trying to take glances of Rosa whilst he did so, making sure that she kept on breathing.

“If not… well… we’ll see how much torture she can truly bare” Draco dared to look his Master in the eye and saw nothing but the truth in them. The threat was real, too real. 

“I shall not fail you, my Lord” he bowed, meaning his words as much at Voldemort had meant his. He went to Rosa and prepared to lift her bridal style.

“Oh, before you go…” he stepped closer to her, who was still in immeasurable pain. “Expose her left forearm, Draco” Rosa felt like cold water had been poured all over her, that much fear went through her.

“My Lord… my mother is your most loyal servant, but does not bear the Mark. I am to marry Rosa, just after we become of age… As the Lady of the Malfoy house--”   


“She shall carry the Mark with honour. _ Diffindo _ ” Draco’s plan failed and the lacy sleeve of Rosa’s dress split in half. Soon enough, she felt the tip of Voldemort’s wand painfully pressing onto her skin. She heard him whispering the incantation, before fire took over her forearm. 

“Take her” he ordered Draco. “And we shall celebrate our new addition to our ranks!” he raised his voice to cheers. One could see the skull slowly forming on Rosa’s forearm, the black snake slithering its way into place, making sure to never leave. Rosa would've cried if she could've.

She was branded. 

Green flames filled her vision before she fell out of consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading and for your support!
> 
> If you want to you can leave me a comment/bookmark/kudos, if not I hope you will have a wonderful day!!


	41. Answers From The Potions Master

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm late I'm sorryyy. I traveled back home for Easter hols so that took most of my time together with this chapter being a real pain to write. I don't know why, I had the whole thing in my head but it just refused to translate into words. Thus, this guy is a bit shorter (as if 6 pages is short goddammit) than usual.   
> Thanks to everyone who's been reading once more, I hope you enjoy this one, explaining a bit of what went down in the last chapter!

The first thing Rosa felt was throbbing in her forearm. There was speech around her, but her brain was unable to put the quiet words together into something that made sense. Her mind jumped between consciousness and dreamland, making it difficult to know which voices were real and which conversations were happening inside her head.

It seemed like hours before she was able to open her eyes, looking around the room that she barely recognized. A whimper left her throat and only after it did, Rosa noticed the prominent pain in her body. Moving was out of the question.

“Miss Dawn” the baritone boomed next to her. Rosa forced her head to the right only to see Professor Snape sitting casually with his eyes peering through the  _ Daily Prophet _ . After seeing that she was completely lucid he folded the newspaper neatly and laid it to her bedside table.

“What is your name?” he asked, leaning back to his chair.

“Ro--” she had to cut herself off after realizing how raspy her voice was, how it felt like there was a spiky stone lodged in her voice box. She tried clearing her throat to no avail, but she eventually gave up her trials to get talking painlessly anytime soon. 

“Rosa Dawn” she whispered to the teacher. 

“Date of birth?” he continued the interrogation.

“March 28th, 1980” 

“Do you know where you are?” Snape quirked his brow, Rosa had a suspicion that the professor didn’t even know when her birthday was. She thought that he was just asking questions just for the sake of it. 

“It looks like…” Rosa gave her mind a moment to connect the dots, “Draco’s bedroom in France” she croaked, cursing her voice that kept on beaking.

“What is the date today?”   


“Uh… depending…-- yesterday was Christmas Day so… that would make today... Boxing Day?” she guessed, Snape hummed. “Where’s Draco?”

“And what happened to you yesterday?” 

Rosa took a moment, letting her thoughts recollect what happened yesterday. Snape gave her time, and by time he gave her fifteen minutes. She laid still, memorizing, pulling pieces of yesterday back to her mind. The dancing, stepping on Draco’s foot. Going to the toilet, Theo-- no she called him Nott now. Draco had seen.

“Where’s Draco?” she repeated the question.

“Think” Snape just answered, staring her down, like he was expecting for her to explode. What happened in the ballroom? She was hit with too many torture curse. She was on the floor. Finally, she remembered. An empty gasp left her throat.

Completely disregarding her body screaming at her, Rosa lunged to move the duvet off her and starting to fidget with the buttons of her button-up pyjamas. Since when had she been wearing this? It was Draco’s, no doubt, the sleeves were too long for her. But she could not just peel the sleeve up, she had to first undo the buttons on her sleeves. 

“Leave it” Snape ordered, noticing her discomfort in moving. Rosa didn’t even respond to his words, just continued, wide-eyed. She managed opening the first button with her shaking hands, did she wake up shaking? The second button took a lot longer, Snape didn’t oppose her actions, just sighed frustrated. 

Finally, Rosa peeled the sleeve up exposing her left forearm. A black skull. A black snake. The Mark, looked fresh and red with irritation. Rosa could feel her heartbeat through it which she despised, it felt like Voldemort had claimed her soul. Bringing her right hand to touch the Mark in panic, Snape finally reacted.

“Don’t” once more, Rosa ignored his advice. Rosa ram her hand violently - and painfully - through the Mark. It just resulted in the feeling of burning on the tattoo, but Rosa did it again. And again. And again. She was effectively trying to rub the Mark off.

When the Mark didn’t budge, Rosa looked up at her Potions Master, pleading “Get if off” her voice hoarse and he eyes red, Snape just looked at her knowing that Rosa knew he couldn’t do anything. 

“ _ GET IT OFF _ !” Rosa kept on exclaiming, desperately trying to shout but her voice failing. She repeated the request whilst rubbing on the fire. 

Professor Snape stood up, still his poker face on. He walked out of the room, leaving the door wide open and subsequently left Rosa alone in her despair. Not a couple seconds later, Draco ran into the room.

“Draco…” Rosa whimpered, “Get it off, please!” 

The platinum blonde walked to her, sitting at the edge of her - well, his - bed. Slowly he moved her hands towards her, making sure that she could move out of the way of his touch if she so wished. She didn’t, but didn’t relent on trying to get rid of the brand decorating her arm. Draco took hold of her right hand, and with his free hand he covered the Mark with her sleeve. 

“Get it off” Rosa cried.

“You know I can’t” Draco’s expression was soft, though Rosa knew he was angry with her. “You need to calm down, Rosa Dawn. Breathe” 

“I-- I’m sorry--”   


“Later. Breathe” he cut her off promptly, avoiding the obvious subject. 

“I want it off--” 

“Breathe” he repeated once more. This time Rosa listened taking deep but shivering breaths together with him. A slow inhale.

“I don’t--”   


“Look at me” his hand came to cup her cheek. “Breathe” Looking in his silver eyes, Rosa did as he asked. Another slow inhale. Even slower exhale. Slowly she was able to calm herself somewhat, though her heart was still beating hard. 

“Is it still burning?” Draco questioned and simultaneously dropped his hand from her face. Rosa nodded at the question. “Pain anywhere else?”   


“Everywhere” 

“Severus!” Draco called immediately. The Professor glided into the room, this time with some vials in his hands. He calmly sat down onto his previous chair since Draco was sitting on the bed, still holding Rosa’s hands. 

“Have you composed yourself?” the oldest wizard asked, waiting patiently. “I will not tolerate hysterical behaviour. You are already in danger, if you cannot keep yourself under control you are as good as dead already” he stated honestly. 

“I think I’m composed, sir” Rosa tried keeping her voice strong and failed. Looking weak in front of someone who would be definitely reporting back to the Order and to the Dark Lord was not something she wanted to do. At the same time, Rosa knew that the teacher would see through her. 

“Pain?” the teacher asked, expecting an honest answer.

“I… I’m fine--”   


Draco’s eyebrows shot up in mockery, Snape rolled his eyes. “Miss Dawn” he started, looking at her like Remus did when she had done something wrong, “Are you expecting for me to believe those words after you cried through the night? I know from experience that the Mark is burning. Furthermore, there were five Cruciatus’ on you at once, are you telling me that your pain was forged?” his lip curled, eyebrows high on his forehead. 

“N-no” Rosa croaked, looking at Draco instead of the Professor.

“Then I expect you to tell the truth, if you wish to walk before the term starts” 

“Everything hurts. It’s… a bit overwhelming, after… not feeling much at all” she finally said honestly. “Are you reporting that back to them?” she asked, not sure if she was asking if he was going to go a tattle to her Father or to Voldemort. 

“I believe that is not part of my job description” 

“He’s just here to help” Draco inserted himself into the conversation. With a small nod, Snape laid out three vials onto the table. 

“Calming and pain potions, I believe you are familiar with those. I will be keeping an eye on how often and how much you take. I will not be giving you any kinds of sleeping draughts” he explained. “The salve is for your forearm. I have work to do, I shall do a check in three hours”   


“What about… whatever happened… He called me a weapon, what did I do?” Rosa asked before the man even had managed to stand up from his chair. 

“Today and tomorrow, we shall get rid of the pain and get you moving once more. Later, we will discuss your abilities. Draco, I expect you will continue executing your mission”   


“Thank you, Severus” with a curt nod, Snape left the room, taking his newspaper with him. Rosa pushed herself up to reach for the potions with her still shaking hands. Downing them with some help from Draco, she immediately felt a lot better and more relaxed in her body. 

Staring at the third vial, the salve, she decided not to use it. Seeing the Mark again would send her into another panic attack. Even though she could feel it, maybe she could just pretend it was part of the pain that came with the curses. 

“I can do it for you” Draco volunteered. 

“I don’t want to look at it” Rosa confessed.

Draco took the salve into his hand, dipping his fingers in. “Close your eyes, Rosa Dawn” she did, she could trust him. “Deep breaths” 

His fingers glided over her skin, peeling up the sleeve once more. “You’re still shaking” he commented. When his fingers hit the burning brand, it felt like he was dragging an ice cube on top of her skin. She gasped at the contact, but kept her eyes firmly closed. 

“In and out, Rosa Dawn” he reminded her. It didn’t take him long, just a couple more swipes over the Mark and he was satisfied. Bringing the sleeve back down and buttoning it closed, he was done. 

“You can open your eyes” she did.

“Thank you, Draco” Rosa looked into his eyes, sadly. In turn, he averted his eyes. “Can we talk about it?” she requested.

“No” his answer was immediate and final. 

“Why? I want to explain--” 

“The Dark Lord gave me a mission to take care of you. I’m not going to…-- if we talk I’m going to walk out, I know it. It’s none of my business if you’re shagging Nott--”   


“I did not shag--” Rosa’s shout turned into a coughing fit. Draco rolled his eyes.

“Just rest. I’ll bring you dinner later”

“No-- Draco, you’re-- fine.” she eventually caved, understanding that he probably didn’t want to be in her presence. She had betrayed him after all. 

Draco huffed in anger, but rather than opening his mouth, he stormed off.

The next few days were lonely, all of which Rosa spent in bed. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking, making eating eating or writing, or practically doing anything out of bed extremely difficult. Draco had gotten frustrated with her and ended up spooning the soup they had often for dinner into her mouth. Reluctantly, Rosa accepted the help. 

Professor Snape showed up every morning before breakfast and every night before she went to bed, giving Rosa her potions. On New Year’s Eve Rosa managed to walk herself to the toilet and back without Draco’s help. It felt like something stupid to be proud of, but she was. 

On this day, as Professor Snape got the news of her ability to walk without assistance, he sat down next to her bed, to the seat he was now calling his own. He normally would just stay long enough to watch Rosa down her vials. 

“You wished to speak of your newfound abilities?” he started, ending the silence that had loomed for a moment. 

A spark was lit within Rosa’s heart. She had given it a lot of thought and she had a bunch of questions, none of which she was able to give answers to alone. Assuming that the Hogwarts library would end up being unhelpful once more, she needed to wait until Professor Snape wanted to talk. Finally, he would.

“Yes, please!” her answer sounded more like pleading that simple questioning. Desperation was evident in her as she sat up, trying to correct her posture in front of the man. 

“I’ve spoken to the Dark Lord. He’s been trying to create something like you for years. It’s old magic” 

Rosa’s jaw dropped. “You mean he knows… what this is? The loss of feeling--”   


“I read what he called ‘re-search’. It was hypothetical at best, but… true. You’re a living proof” Rosa’s eyes were going all over the place in thought, whilst Snape kept his composure calm. 

“What does that mean?” 

Snape cleared his throat, this was going to be the answer she was looking for. “I’m not completely sure” 

“You’re not making any sense, Professor”   


“What I’m theorizing, is that you are an anomaly. Extremely rare, old magic. The Dark Lord believes that it is because of… your half-breed status” Rosa dared to let out a scoff. “Your Father’s blood makes you stronger, Dawn. You might not turn into a werewolf, but you have the strength of one. How do you think you survived all the torture? The years of abuse? An adult would die from less, go insane, let alone a mere child” 

“How does this have anything to do with anything? I’m curious as to what the Dark Lord expects of me, not why I have these abilities-- I don’t even know what my abilities are--”   


“If you want to learn how to use them, you ought to understand them” Snape interjected. “You can feel everything right now, can’t you?” he interrogated.

“More or less. My back and my chest are still a bit… unfeeling”   


“Numb is the word you want to use from now on. It is not a permanent issue, a mere side effect”   


“Of what?”   


“Torture. Blood magic. Take your pick, Miss Dawn” he shrugged.

“Blood magic?”    


“Did you not listen to me at all? Your Father’s blood is the reason why you aren’t dead, it would be foolish to ignore. The mix in your blood together with the torture you’ve endured makes you radiate pain” 

“Radiate… pain?” Rosa repeated, not liking the way it sounded. 

“ _ A wandless, non-verbal torture curse _ , that you apparently are capable of projecting on multiple people at once” 

“A weapon” Rosa concluded, looking into the void, thinking in fear. Wandless, non-verbal magic she knew to be exceptionally difficult to master. But this… it was something else.

“Indeed” Snape agreed. “You have to learn how to use it, when uncontrolled… you hit the Dark Lord with it--”   


“He was hurting Draco--”   


“He hurts everyone! You cannot lose focus with a weapon nestled inside of you!” he scolded. 

Rosa scowled at the teacher, “If it was there all along why did it emerge now?”   


“You already answered that yourself, Miss Dawn. The Dark Lord was under the impression that further pain would ignite the ability in you. Of course, he wasn’t sure if you even had the ability in the first place, but that seems irrelevant at the moment. He seemed to forget that you are a Gryffindor”   


“I don’t understand”   


“The absolute desire and need to save those you love no matter the consequences” he explained. A light bulb seemed to go off in Rosa’s head.

“Draco” she whispered.

“Draco. Anger. And you were unleashed” Professor Snape concluded.

 

An exhale left Rosa’s throat. It made sense. She relished the quiet for a moment, until a terrifying thought came to her head. “Do you think… am I capable of killing someone with it?” Snape didn’t answer. “He wants me to kill people with it, doesn’t he?” she questioned, already knowing the answer.

“It seems so” Snape answered honestly.

A silence fell. Snape gave her time to sort out everything in her head, something that would most likely take days. Rosa Dawn, the Death Eater wasn’t enough anymore. Rosa Dawn, the Death Eater killing machine seemed to be a more appropriate title. 

_ Fuck. _

“How do I learn to control it?” she asked, effectively breaking the silence that had surrounded them. 

“Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, after dinner I will expect you to come to my office, where I shall teach you Occlumency and we shall learn to use your powers” 

“If someone asks?”   


“Remedial Potions” Snape shrugs.

“I’ve been on the top of the class every year, no one is going to believe that”

Severus hummed in agreement. “Extra credit for N.E.W.T preparations” he concluded.

“Thank you, Professor” 

“It is my duty to take care of you Miss Dawn. Not only from the Dark side” Rosa’s eyebrows came together on her forehead before she connected the dots.

“Have you told my Father? Of the Mark?”   


“I, unlike many of your Gryffindor comrades, do not have a death wish. He stays in the dark” Rosa nodded her thanks, and Snape made his leave. 

Even though she now had answers, the lump of bad feelings in her stomach didn’t leave. It grew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading lovelies!
> 
> If you feel like it, leave me a kudos/comment/bookmark or just have a wonderful day!!


	42. Exclusive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter lovelies!  
> This one was originally supposed to be the second half of the last chapter, thus once more it's not super long.
> 
> I have nothing much to say about this one, so just thank you for reading again!

Draco was being a twat.

The worst part was that he had a good reason to be a twat.

That didn’t mean Rosa was okay with it.

The pair wouldn’t talk, Rosa would ask him questions constantly and he would refuse to answer. Apparently it was enough for him to ask if she was in pain, if she needed anything, nothing else. They would eat together on Draco’s bed that Rosa had now claimed, just for Draco to make sure that she was actually eating. It made Rosa feel better to see Draco eating as well, his form filling out a tiny bit.

In the meantime, Draco disappeared to downstairs. Still unable to walk stairs, she was barely able to keep her hands from shaking, Rosa couldn’t follow him and do some snooping. For some reason she had a bad feeling it was Draco’s intention when he had brought her to his room; he must’ve known that she wouldn’t be able to walk the stairs. When she questioned about his whereabouts and doings, he would brush him off.

The topic of one Theodore Nott was absolutely out of limits. Rosa had tried bringing it up multiple times and each time, Draco took his plate and left the room. The Gryffindor learnt quickly not to bring it up again. 

Days were filled with boredom as the end of holidays started looming over they heads.. Snape still gave her visits, most notably the amount of liquids in her vials started lessening. It was the most conversation she was getting. She requested that he would bring her some books to read, and to her surprise the Professor granted the request. After she finished the novels they’d have a short conversation about them. Rosa knew that the teacher didn’t want to, he probably had more important things to do… being a spy and all. But he didn’t oppose and he smiled at her from time to time. Maybe he was getting fond of her. Or the other way around, Rosa didn’t know or care as long as someone would talk to her.

It took two weeks. Three days before they would go back to Hogwarts, when Rosa was done. Draco knocked on her door like he always did, and stepped in floating two bowls with him. Rosa sat up, putting her book of the day to the side. Draco placed one of the plates in front of her, giving her a spoon and without words, he started emptying his own bowl of soup.

Rosa counted in her head. 

One. 

Two. 

Three. 

All the way up to sixty. Draco had managed to bring his spoon to his lips three times in that time. He wouldn’t speak, Rosa concluded in her mind.

“How’s your day been?” she ended the silence. Draco looked up at her.

“The same as always” twat.

“Which would be?” Rosa pressed.

Draco sighed in slight frustration. “Good” he wasn’t giving any details. “Eat, Rosa Dawn” 

Rosa put her spoon down, leaning back to the headboard away from the food, effectively refusing to eat. Her eyes didn’t leave him.

“So, you’ll just never talk to me again?” 

“Eat, Rosa” Draco said again, not looking up at him. Feeling like a child throwing a tantrum, Rosa just crossed her arms. 

“One question, one spoonful” Rosa challenged.

“Go ahead and starve then” Draco started moving ready to stand up and leave the room. He actually got to the door before Rosa reacted. He had been ignoring her for a day too long.

“Draco?” her pitch was high and panicky. Draco turned to look at her waiting, his eyebrows raised in annoyance. Rosa wanted a moment to think what to say, but Draco wouldn’t give her one. She ended up just saying the first thing that came to her head; blatant honesty. 

“Hold me?” she requested, her heart beating in fear of his reaction. Draco just stared at her, contemplating the options he had. The bowl dropped from his hands, shattering on the floor. Suddenly he looked quit angry, like it had taken him 15 seconds to process the meaning of her words.

“No” he finally said but didn’t move.

Rosa’s head dropped to her hands. “Please?” she pleaded. 

  
  
  


“ _ Fuck you _ ” he cursed at her in anger. Rosa flinched slightly at his raised volume, a shameful whimper leaving her throat.

“I’m sorry” she wasn’t even sure what she was apologizing for.

“No! You don’t-- Do you think it’s easy for me to stay away from you?!” 

“W-what?” Rosa raised her head to look at him. To her surprise, he looked torn and… tired. More vulnerable than she ever remembered seeing him. 

“You know I have feelings for you! You-- I--  _ Fuck _ !” he exclaimed, not knowing what to say or how to say what he wanted. His hand ran through his hair in distress, breathing becoming uncomfortable. Even Rosa saw that he was under pressure, that he was scared. “I-- The Dark Lord he’ll-- He knew. He didn’t even need to-- to look into my head and he knew--! Everything! Do you think that I can touch you if-- fuck-- I’m that fucking easy to read?! I need to do this, Rosa. I need to finish my-- he’ll kill Mum and you in front of me-- I can’t--!” His breathing was quick, uncontrolled and heavy; he noticed that he was having trouble with it. 

“Draco, please. You’re-- you’re having a panic attack, you have to breathe--”   


“No-- Rosa Dawn! You--” 

“Come here” Rosa patted the spot next to her, Draco didn’t comply, just tried getting his breathing under control and failing.

“And-- I can’t even be mad!” He shouted through his frustration.

“Draco--”   


“I-- I’ve shagged half of-- of the bloody school! I-- you didn’t promise-- fuck-- this is pathetic” He turned to the door and pushed it open, ready to leave. Rosa quickly - and with a groan of pain - peeled herself up from the bed. Draco turned in reaction to her whimpers because of the stiffness of her body.

“I’ll-- I’ll figure-- I’ll calm myself--” Rosa walked to him, taking his hand and pulling him backwards back to the bed. He sat down without complaint with her.

Rosa saw tears underneath his eyes and all of her care was to him. Suddenly she didn’t care anymore how the war was going or which side she belonged to. All her world was now his problem.

“I can… calm… myself..” he said between his unstable breaths. Draco’s hand was on her waist, clawing at the fabric of her pajama shirt there. His eyes were looking straight at hers, pleading for help without voicing it out loud. 

“You’re okay” Rosa said, trying hard to keep her voice strong and truthful. She placed her hand behind his head, soothing the hair at the base of his neck gently. Draco shook his head, shivering and interrupted breaths leaving his throat. 

“I’ve got you, Draco. You’re okay. He’s not here, it’s safe. I’ve got you. Please Draco, breathe deeply for me” as if to help him, Rosa took deep breaths herself, trying to get Draco to do the same, just like he had done so many times for her. Draco just stared at her mouth, breathing together with the breaths inhaling and exhaling through it. Rosa couldn’t deny the butterflies that went through her stomach. 

It took multiple minutes for Draco to calm down. But even when his breathing was stable, neither of the pair moved. Sure, their placement was slightly compromising with Draco’s hand on her hip, and hers around his neck; honestly, even their faces were a little more close than regular friend’s should be. 

“Does this happen often?” Rosa asked, whispering. He nodded, looking down. “Me too” Rosa just stated, trying to reassure him. “I’ve got you, Draco. Always”

“But you shagged Nott” Draco rebutted her claim with the accusation. His thumb was drawing soothing circles on her hip as if he wasn’t angry.

“I didn’t” Draco nodded, his eyes no longer meeting hers; Rosa knew that would mean that he thought she was lying. “You can believe Nott’s rumours, but that’s the only truth I will ever give you” He sighed, moving closer to lean his forehead against Rosa’s shoulder in defeat. She kept her hand at the back of his neck, soothing him. “Ask me anything. I’ll tell you the truth” He didn’t move, thinking.

“You didn’t shag him?”

“No” Rosa answered, trying to keep her tone as truth-sounding as possible.  

“Did you…-- Nott said that you… you know… oral stuff” the way his voice sounded so defeated and strengthless made Rosa feel horrible. 

“I didn’t suck him off, Draco” Rosa could’ve sworn she heard Draco growling slightly.

“And he… he didn’t-- to you--”   


“Draco, do you really think I’d show him my scars? After I… during the summer, I freaked when you… I couldn’t do that… Showing him. Anything” Rosa’s grimaced at the visual and the mere thought of exposing her scars to someone like Nott. He knew of them, but the idea of letting him touch them… it almost felt violating. 

“He didn’t see--”   


“You’ve seen more of my body than he has” Rosa assured him, feeling slightly relieved that his thumb was still moving on her hip. His head was still in place on her shoulder, he didn’t show a speck of uncomfortableness. 

“Did he grope you?” his voice was still calm and void of any emotion.

“Depends what you classify as groping. His hands stayed firmly over all clothing and in places where I could feel them” 

“Here?” Draco added some pressure onto her hip where his hand was playing. 

Rosa swallowed. “There.” her breath hitches at is gentle touch. “What are you doing, Draco?” she asked without thinking. 

He lifted his head to look at Rosa, his eyes still wet from his tears. His free hand came to brush against her lips, she let out a voiceless gasp. 

“He kissed you” it wasn’t a question, but Rosa answered anyway.

“Yes” 

“I’m jealous” his voice was becoming lazy. 

“Draco--” Rosa’s tone was warning.

“How many times?” he whispered, cutting her off. Something in Rosa said that he didn’t actually want to know these answers. Maybe that’s why he had not been asking them until now. 

“I didn’t keep count” she answered honestly.

“That many?” Draco scoffed and scowled under his breath. “Why?” He was finally giving Rosa the chance to explain. The Gryffindor wasn’t sure whether to feel elated or sullen.

“When he first approached me, he wanted to reserve me. I denied, obviously” Looking up at his reaction, Rosa saw nothing but anticipation. Maybe he would not give her any response before she was done. “He kissed me. It was right after we-- I had busted you with the Slytherin girl. I know I was being a hypocrite but I didn’t care”   


“So he was there to scratch the itch?” his tone was too hopeful that his assumption would be correctly.

“No” Draco’s face fell. “I… I missed you. Just-- I wanted…-- I wanted to…” 

“You wanted a snog” Draco finished for her, and she could tell he was getting angrier by the minute as she kept on talking. 

“I wanted to snog  _ you _ .” Rosa corrected instantly. “Still do” she added under her breath, not sure if he heard it or not. 

“Then why snog Nott?!” his frustration was coming out, bit by bit. The betrayal Rosa had felt when he had been snogging others was now plastered onto his face. And Rosa herself was responsible. The feeling was less than pleasant.

“If…-- You wouldn’t snog me--”   


“Obviously” 

“Please, Draco” Rosa pleaded, begging for him to let her finish her explanation. He nodded, though his eyes told her to be quick about it. 

“If I closed my eyes he could be anybody” she blurred out and waited. It took exactly two seconds for the words to sink into Draco’s mind.

“So… when… what?” Draco mumbled, dumbfounded.

“Everytime I would snog him… I kept my eyes closed so that I could imagine… that it was you” 

Draco’s jaw was slacked open just slightly. “But… I don’t kiss like Nott, do I? He’s so… savage… of what I’ve seen” he made a face like he had walked in on some things he shouldn’t have. 

“I wouldn’t know, would I?” Rosa rebutted sadly. “You’ve kissed me once, and that really just doesn’t count. I only ended it with him after… you… umm, anyway I ended it before Christmas” 

“Why?” Draco pressed. “You promised you’d answer anything” he reminded, suddenly curious.

“You kissed… my forehead” Rosa refused to meet his eyes. “And… there was a difference. Too big of a one for me to ignore” 

“What kind--”

“You’re gentle and soft and pleasant. He was more… in your face” Rosa tried explaining it with as little detail as possible. “I understood that he wouldn’t compare…” 

“Huh” Draco just managed to say. “I’m just… so tired” 

“I’m sorry that I betrayed you. I should’ve-- I knew that our promises go both ways. I just… I don’t want to lose you again, Draco” 

Draco considered.

“We’ll call it even” he eventually said. “But from now on we’re exclusive” his eyes were serious, even worried. “I will not share you, Rosa Dawn”   


“I don’t want to be shared” 

His hand came up to caress her cheek. “I can’t kiss you… think how open your mind was after Nott did--  If the Dark Lord found out the extent of how I felt for you--” he cut himself off shaking his head, taking more deep breaths to calm himself. “I want to kiss you” he said, his heart in his throat.

“Then show him he bad stuff. This is ours. When he looks for me show the… resentment and the pranks--”   


“I’ve never resented you, Rosa. I can’t control my mind what it comes to you. It’s…--”   


“I’ll help you. Professor Snape will help you.”   


“My mind will be so open if… I don’t know what I’d do if he-- This is pathetic-- The Dark Lord will--”   


“He won’t. Promise” Draco lifted his eyes to hers, finding a bottomless pool of hope in them. His safe haven was with her.

“Cross your heart?” he asked.

“Hope to die” Rosa promised. 

“I wished I believed that” he whispered. He leaned towards her to kiss her forehead. Rosa sighed at the feeling, only hoping that he’d press those lips on hers. She could now be reminded why he described Nott’s snogging as ‘savage’. He was soft and gentle, treating her like she could break at any moment. Too soon, he leaned back but kept close by bringing their foreheads together.

“I can’t kiss you” he sighed. "Not until my Occlumency is better at least"

“I’ll take it” Rosa just said sadly, but clinging to him. 

“Exclusive” Draco reminded.

“Exclusive” Rosa agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that we finally finish the Christmas of Half Blood Prince!!  
> I love the fluff. Makes me happy. Also showing Draco's vulnerable 'at the braking point'-situation is something I've wanted to write for a while. wink wink Sectumsempra is my favorite scene in his whole canon arc wink wink
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading as always!! 
> 
> Leave a comment/bookmark/kudos or just have a wonderful day lovelies!


	43. Lewd Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it, finally! It's still Sunday so I'm saying that I'm still on time with my friday/weekend update!  
> Not much to say about this one, I do hope you like it!!

Rosa walked through platforms 9 and 10, leaning to her cane that Draco had given her. It was black with a silver snake on the top. Rosa could’ve promised that she had seen Lucius Malfoy carrying an identical one. She had scowled when Draco had confirmed the suspicions.

The platform was bustling like always, filled with Mother’s crying and excited chatter. Whistles were blown; once more Draco had insisted on leaving way too late and eventually had to rush to the floo.  

The blonde had already gone from her side, taking hers and his trunks off into the correct carriage. They had come to the easy conclusion that the extent of their relationship would stay a secret; people knew of their reservation, but not of their feelings. It would be safer to just keep the act of not being friends on for both of their safety. If there was something the Dark Lord should not know about, the rest of the world should not know about.

Looking around the busy platform, Rosa’s eyes immediately landed on the cluster of redheads not too far from her. Thankfully, none of them had noticed her so she could scan the crowd, engaged in their heartfelt goodbyes. Remus was not there.

It was a weird feeling, just staring at the family that had welcomed her, only now not a part of it. Remus’ absence felt like a knife in the heart, though she understood it. Who would want to happily see off their best friend’s murderer? Coming out of her head, Rosa started moving towards the back carriages that she knew to still be empty.

Keeping her eyes on the people she wanted to call family, just to make sure that she wasn’t getting any looks from them. Just as she turned her eyes away from the redheads towards the carriage, she jumped in surprise to see a turquoise haired woman in her way.

“Shit” Rosa swore aloud, knowing too well that she wouldn’t be able to run away from the young Auror with her cane. “Tonks--”   


“Save it” the witch was angry. “When I told you to have a talk about Sirius, I didn’t mean to throw him into depression!” she started scolding the girl. 

“I’d like to board the train, please” Rosa refused to look at her in the eyes.

“He’s gone. He bolted. No one knows where he is, what he’s doing” 

Rosa lifted her eyes to hers in an instant. “W-what?”    


“He-- you better fucking write to him! I want my fiance back!” she was practically growling at Rosa, hurt and angry. 

“Okay” Rosa said, hating how small her voice sounded. 

“Make sure you do” 

“Did he tell about Sirius--?” Rosa asked.

“Of course he did. We’re a family” Rosa noted how she wasn’t part of that ‘we’. “Rosa, I don’t know why you-- I mean, you probably missed your target-- I mean I did tackle you-- I know you regret it, but--” The train tooted. “Just go” Tonks said, looking at Rosa defeated. Quickly Rosa understood that the witch had no clue about the Imperius curse that had been on her.

With a rough swallow Rosa stepped into the train, saying nothing to defend herself.

When she finally sat down, she immediately got out a piece of parchment and a quill though she had to take a moment.

Remus wouldn’t abandon his family again, would he? Searching for a logical answers as to why Tonks would lie about something like that, Rosa hit a wall in her mind. She hit the same wall when thinking as to why Remus would run. Maybe he knew that it would hurt her, but there was no say that she would even find out. 

Shaking her head, not knowing what to think, Rosa wrote.

 

_ Remus. _

_ Go back to your family. Don’t abandon them because of my actions. Go back. _

_ You abandoned me. Don’t abandon the rest of your family. _

_ Please.  _

_ Rosa. _

 

+++

 

Rosa sat alone in at the very end of the Gryffindor table. Dumbledore was speaking, but all of his words were just going through Rosa’s head. Her eyes moved to the Slytherin table, to her now ‘exclusive “friend” who wasn’t going to kiss her’. To her surprise the blonde was already looking at her. 

“You alright?” he mouthed to her. She simply shook her head. People around Draco started laughing at something, most likely at the food that had now appeared in front of them. He started laughing with them, as if he had just stared into the void. 

Appetite was something Rosa did not have, but she forced herself to eat something. Five forkfuls of turkey later, she was ready to run to the toilet and hurl. 

With the help of her cane she stood up, trying to ignore the stares some of the other students were giving her and the black serpent she was leaning on. At least her eyes wasn’t swollen shut this time. 

She thanked the gods that Professor McGonagall had taught her the ‘elevator spell’; she was in Gryffindor Tower in no time. Just as she stepped into the cosy room flooded with warmth, she noticed three silhouettes, waiting for her. The Golden Trio, Granger was sitting down whilst the boys stood both with their wands out. 

Rosa stayed quiet, starting to walk towards the stairs to the girls’ dormitories. Before she even made halfway there, Potter raised his wand. That was when Rosa noticed the burning pain and anger in his eyes.

“You killed Sirius” he said, defeated but not letting his voice break. 

“I killed Sirius” Rosa confirmed. 

A violent breath left his mouth, “How can you say it so easily?” he looked at Rosa with so much disappointment and void. Tears pricked behind his eyes, the speckled boy was clearly not yet over his godfather's death.  “Why?” 

“I don’t need to explain my actions to you, Potter” she took another slow step towards the stairs.

“Why did you murder my godfather? I thought we were on the same side!” he roared like the lightning that decorated his forehead. He looked so simply broken. 

“He was my godfather too” Rosa whispered, “And I was never on your side” this time her steps towards the stairs. 

Potter lunged towards her, pushing Rosa to the wall with a thud, his wand pushing painfully into Rosa’s throat. The witch tried not to react, though the attack made her skin crawl. The hurt Potter wanted to inflict on her was starting to get mutual. Tears ran down from the boy’s eyes but he seemed not to care. He scowled hard, looking like he was ready to kill.

Granger had stood up, probably shouted something that Rosa’s heartbeat had covered. Weasley was stoic and still, but his brows were bending as if he was scared himself. 

“Do you have any remorse for him?! Are you really that emotionless?!” he let go of her, taking a step back. “Suddenly I’m not that surprised that Lupin left you” he mumbled in midst of his fury.

“Harry!” Granger scolded immediately, but the damage was done. 

Anger flew through Rosa’s body like irritation through an open wound. She trembled, green eyes darkening and a deathly glare looking through Potter’s very being. 

“Harry, lower your wand. Now” Granger ordered, slightly concerned by Rosa’s change in behaviour. Maybe she was the only one of the three aware that she had actually ended a life before. 

“For all we know she’s a Death Eater” Weasley butted in, though his wand was still securely in his hand by his side, lowered. “I mean she prances here with Lucius bloody Malfoy’s cane!” he pointed at the snake, taking steps backwards, trying to get away from her. The ginger wizard was looking at her like she was the enemy; Rosa couldn’t find a flaw in that logic.

“Go on, then. Peel up your sleeve, Dawn” Potter gestured at her left sleeve, making sure to keep a good distance between her arm and his hand. He was eyeing her, irises going back and forth between Rosa and her covered arm, like she was now something disgusting. 

A growl escaped Rosa’s throat, alarming the Chosen One. He lowered his wand just slightly, but his stance was still aggressive and ready to attack if need be.

The insult on her Father still running through Rosa’s head, echoing together with their revolted stares. 

Hands slowly starting to shake, Rosa found herself being filled by exasperation. Suddenly, she wanted the Boy-Who-Lived dead. Unbreathing, in her feet. She managed to convince herself in a matter of seconds that it was actually a good idea. 

In her head, she wondered how she could send her torture curse toward him. It shouldn’t be that difficult? She still had her wand too, that would work fine.

A moment passed.

Only the knowledge that she was capable of doing just that made Rosa come to her senses. She let out a shivering breath, her eyes widening at the realization of her lack of control. Snape’s words echoed through her mind.

_ You cannot lose focus with a weapon nestled inside of you! _

Anger had possessed her. It seemed that she had just lost focus. She was capable of killing, she felt like she wanted to kill, she… was a killer.  

“Fuck” she swore out loud and without further words, she walked back towards the alcove she had come from. If the Golden Trio had anything to say against her quick escape, Rosa did not hear them. 

Once more she used the elevator spell, and leaning to her cane sped towards the dungeons. 

Turning the corner, noticed some Slytherins walking along the hallways; it looked like dinner had finished. Among the robes, Rosa looked for blonde hair, failing in her searches. Keeping up her walk, finally making it to the door she had been looking for. She knocked.

Nothing.

She knocked a little louder. He door whipped open mid-knock. Professor Snape, still in his robes looked down on her, scowling. 

“I’m losing control” she admitted.

With the same speed as he had opened the door, he whipped Rosa into his office and closed the door behind them. 

“I-- I wanted to kill Harry Potter.  _ The _ Harry Potter, I wanted… what is happening Professor? I just almost-- anger…-- the Chosen One--”   


“I am aware of who he is, Miss Dawn. If you would be able to sit down?” without a single doubt she sat down immediately, just staring at the teacher. “You must push down anger”   


“How am I supposed to do that when he speaks ill of my Father--”   


“You push it down” he repeated, sitting down himself just opposite from her. “I wonder what you would have done if the Gryffindors found out about your ability? If you would’ve killed Potter?” 

Rosa didn’t have an answer, instead she looked down.

“Indeed. You must control your anger, your fury. Now, we must learn how to control it. We shall begin with Occlumency--”   


“What about actually learning how to use the-- whatever it is called” Rosa asked. 

“I believe it is in our best interest to start by not having you kill the one boy who can save us all simply because he is angry because you happened to kill his last family member-- Ah!” Rosa had hit him, not too hard, with her mind. The Professor was holding onto his shoulder, and shooting her a glare. 

“I’m sorry, Professor” Rosa said straight away. “I agree with you” she swallowed, scared that the teacher would throw her out of his office. Instead, he got out his wand. “Though I don’t know how you knew that-- what I was angry about--”

“The fact that you can’t tell when your mind has been invaded is quite alarming, Miss Dawn”   


“Okay… just do it again then” she nodded, still terrified of herself and the actions she could’ve committed today. 

“ _ Legilimens! _ ” 

Rosa felt her mind swirling, memories going through her head. She came to a fast conclusion; Snape was more talented Legilimens than Voldemort was.

_ ‘Thank you, but do focus, Miss Dawn. Push me out’  _ his voice ran through her head. 

He was looking for Draco, shifting through her memories of him. Their whispered ‘I love you’s’, their friendship, their longing for each other. It was violating for him to force himself through her mind. She pushed against his attack, throwing his towards the memories she had shown Voldemort. Once more, the pranks and the times he had called her a slut, the anger that had come with those. She let him watch those memories freely, not pushing him away anymore, a fake way of making him think he was choosing the memories he viewed, like he had won.

He retreated quickly.

“Impressive” the Professor praised. “Again”

This time he was more subtle, but Rosa could feel his invasion. He went by Draco in her thoughts and attacked Remus. Immediately when Rosa saw his face within her memories, pushed him out with more than enough power; the Professor’s wand flew out of his hand. 

“That’s not for your eyes” Rosa growled at him, she could’ve sworn she saw the teacher smirk.

Quirking an eyebrow he posed the question “And Draco’s and your relationship is?” 

“That… that’s… completely different”

“Or perhaps not” he shrugged, Rosa stayed quiet waiting for him to explain. “Draco’s mind mirrors yours. Weakened with the memories of the other” 

“What about the anger? The impulses, why--”   


“It’s almost the time of the Moon, Rosa”   
Rosa scowled harder than she had ever done, “The Moon has never--”   


“And have you been able to send people to their deaths with just a stare before, Miss Dawn?” she rolled her eyes, silently hoping that he wouldn’t see her sulking.

“No”

“I’m assuming the Dark Lord did not see the memories you so easily let me see after some prodding” he changed the topic quickly after their mutual understanding. Apparently he seemed to want to talk about Draco. 

Rosa scowled, “Yes, sir” 

“If you showed that to the Dark Lord, both of you would be dead” he stated.

“I know”

“Thus, I doubt you’ll follow my advice if I tell you to stay away from him” 

“I can’t, sir”

Snape nodded in understanding. “At least he has listened to me” 

“What?” Rosa lifted her eyes to her teacher’s.

“You are not the only one I teach Occlumency to, Miss Dawn. Draco’s mind crumbles if someone looks for you within his thoughts. Mirrors, your minds are only you can show bad memories to the invader. He cannot; he doesn’t have any that don’t include some kind of adoration. An ungifted Legilimens would see that he loves you”

“Oh” is all that left Rosa’s throat. 

“He becomes weak, you in turn get angry and dangerous. Which is why I’m teaching you control through Occlumency. You are a gifted Occlumens, Miss Dawn. You saved yourself by concealing your love. I advise you to do that in the future as well”

“We’re friends--”

“You and I both know that you two’s love exceeds the mere means of friendly love” he snorted.

“He hasn’t even kiss--”

“Completely my recommendation, Miss Dawn. I believe your mind would light up by the lewd thoughts he has of you, and crack under any invasion”

Rosa grimaced, “I’d hope he’d share some of those with me--” she completely ignored his point; a knock on the door interrupted her. Snape let out a tiny laugh, stood up and opened the door. 

Of course, the blonde in question stepped into the room, having eyes only for Rosa. “What are you doing here?”   


“I wanted to kill Potter” Rosa shrugged, trying to get rid of the thread that still took over when she thought through all the ‘what if’ scenarios. Draco’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “What are you doing here yourself?” 

“I… I uh…--”   


“Here to try and conceal some of those lewd thoughts we spoke of, Miss Dawn” Snape patted the blonde’s shoulder playfully. 

“What?!” Draco’s eyes widened looking at Rosa horrified. “Rosa-- I promise I won’t-- Severus!” 

“I did not share details, Draco” the greasy haired man seemed to find immense amusement from his godson’s embarrassment. 

“Care to share, Draco?” Rosa cocked her head, grinning.

“Fuck you. Both of you, prodding in my thoughts…” he went on to mumble before sitting next to Rosa sluggishly. 

“Oh, it’s his Occlumency session, isn’t it? I should then make my leave” Rosa stood up, realizing that she was in their way.

“Miss Dawn, I’d request that you sleep in Draco’s quarters today. And if you’d be able to come see me in the morning before breakfast. It is my duty to check that you are not a danger to yourself or other students” 

“Yes, sir” Rosa nodded in agreement. 

“Homework: before you go to sleep, I want you to look for the anger within you and ask yourself what is the core of it. Only when you discover that are we able to destroy it” 

“Okay… that doesn’t sound easy”   


“Which is why it’s essential for you to start today” 

“Yes, sir” her eyes went to Draco, “I’m assuming I’ll see you later--”   


“Draco shall sleep in the Slytherin dormitories as he should” the professor intervened. With a curt nod, Rosa turned around and walked away, but not before hearing Draco mumble something along the lines ‘you’re such a cock-block Uncle Severus”.

 

Laying in Draco’s bed was weird alone. She stared at the ceiling, hoping that Draco would show up. When she heard a clock chime midnight she lost all hope of that happening. By the way Snape was trying to keep them apart, the professor probably walked Draco to his room. 

But that was not merely the only reason keeping Rosa awake.

_ ‘An ungifted Legilimens would see that he loves you’  _ that was definitely what the Professor had said. With one hundred percent confidence he had said that. ‘Love’ and not the friend kind. It was spinning Rosa’s head, I mean they weren’t technically even dating. It was too early for words like ‘love’. But it still birthed something fuzzy within the pit of Rosa’s stomach. 

And…  _ lewd thoughts _ . What did that mean? Snogging? He wouldn’t mean sex, would he? That word was coming to Rosa’s head with way too little opposition, way too quickly. He was refusing to kiss her for crying out loud! 

Rosa cleared her throat. Since when was it so warm in here? Quickly she turned to her side, Draco’s smell in the pillows was more than distracting especially since he was not here. Closing her eyes, she tried hard to find sleep. 

The door creaked, Rosa sat up violently grabbing her wand. 

“Just me, Rosa Dawn” his voice was strained and tired. Rosa put her wand back to the nightstand, just looking at Draco lazily moving through the room. He went to take off his shirt, though he froze when he noticed Rosa’s cheeks blushing hard. Bursting into laughter, he walked into the conjoining toilet. 

Rosa cursed herself, giving herself a pep talk of not acting like a ridiculously inexperienced virgin (which was literally what she was). Not too many minutes after, Draco emerged from the toilet, now wearing his pajamas; a loose t-shirt and some plaid pajama pants. He stared Rosa down, not commenting on the fact that Rosa was definitely wearing one of his favorite t-shirts as a pajama top. 

Silently he slipped under the duvet, and wrapped his arms around Rosa, effectively cuddling her eyes already closed. “Don’t. Just sleep” he said before Rosa even had the chance to open her mouth to protest. 

“Keep those lewd thoughts out of your head alright?” Rosa whispered. 

“No promises” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> Leave me a bookmark/comment/kudos or just have a wonderful day!!


	44. Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a day late, I know and I'm sorry. BUT this chapter is much longer than previous ones which is real nice :) 
> 
> I've been having a little trouble with this one lately, I'm just feeling like my writing is not on the same level as it should/has been. So sorry about that, thus I'm rectifying my ways by just saying that sometimes the uploads will take a tad longer whilst I perfect the chapters or do rewrites of upcoming chapters. Just want them to be good and worthy of your reading, you know. 
> 
> Thank you as always for reading, I hope you like this one too!

_ Rosa opened her eyes in a dark room. There were no windows, no colours just black walls, ceilings and floors. She was essentially trapped in a black box. There was a glow like a bulb of a Lumos charm in the middle of the room, hovering just above Rosa’s height, illuminating the space.  _

_ “Hello?” calling out, she heard nothing in return. The darkness had engulfed her, only now looking at herself and realizing she was only wearing her underwear. Gasping at her exposed scars and Dark Mark, Rosa looked whipped around looking for something to wear. Her eyes were met with mere empty darkness. She crossed her arms, covering her cleavage and getting warmer.  _

_ “Hello?!” she shouted louder, trying to find some kind of help. Had she died? _ _   
_ _ A sudden gush of lights appeared, fogs of white light running and gliding along the walls, circling her like vultures. In midst of all of the white fog, a singular black sliver of smoke flew. Instead of being the ugly duckling of the bunch, it flew in harmony with the others. _

_ Rosa was immediately reminded of the flowing smog in the Ministry when her loyalties were decided for her, though the fogs weren’t fighting each other. It was almost peaceful, watching them whirling above her.  _

_ With a pop of swooshing sound all of the numerous white lights dove down and dissolved into smoke as they hit the floor. Rosa jumped slightly, taking numerous steps backwards in fear of the figures that appeared out of the fogs. _

_ Remus, Dora, Molly, Arthur, Bill, Fleur, Charlie, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Neville, Sirius, Snape, Draco and her Mother Madilyn physicalized in front of her, all standing in a row. Remus and Madilyn were holding hands, Dora was forgotten at the end of the whole row. Draco had his arm around Hermione’s waist, holding her close basically gluing her to his hip. He was looking down at her with such affection and admiration Rosa had never seen on his pale face; an immediate surge of jealousy went through her.   _

_ Molly started fussing over her children, all smiling to each other, but notably not giving Rosa a second look. Chairs appeared, onto with the oldest ginger couple sat upon, the children and the rest of the family surrounding them, Charlie kneeling in front of them, Ron sat down leisurely on the arm rest.  _

_ Draco’s hold on Hermione did not relent, they took a couple of steps towards the crowd. Harry’s hand had made its way around Ginny’s shoulders, Remus and Madilyn were now standing aristocratically behind the chairs. All of them were practically posing for her. _

_ “Excuse me, Miss? Would you care to move?” Molly addressed Rosa like she had no idea who she was. It seemed that in the family’s mind she was forgotten, an unknown.   _

_ Rosa took three steps to the left, only noticing the huge camera and photographer preparing to take the shot.  _

_ “Are you-- are you taking a family photograph?” Rosa asked in her mind, only to realize that the words left her mouth.  _

_ Draco turned to her scowling, “No, we’re just posing to look brilliant” he turned back to Hermione shaking his head, mumbling “People these days, honestly--” _ _   
_

_ “Draco, darling. Please” the Gryffindor scolded. _

_ “Yes, I know, love”  _

Darling.

Love.

_ Rosa’s heart ached to be in the spot where Hermione was standing. I mean since when were Hermione and Draco even remotely interested in each other? Rosa stared at the couple, longing to be part of that family, wanting to get her own family portrait. _

_ “1… 2… 3!” the short photographer shouted, before the camera flashed in front of the people Rosa wanted to be part of. _

 

She woke up crying, sobbing in Draco’s soothing arms. 

“I’ve got you, Rosa” he whispered to her ear, holding her tight to his chest after noticing her opened eyes. Her tears were flowing down to her cheeks uncontrollably, her hands clawing at Draco’s shirt finding comfort in him. 

“D-Draco…” she sniffled feeling his heartbeat underneath her palm, trying to calm herself to its rhythm. “Are-- are you real?” she asked in midst of her confusion.

“I’m pretty bloody sure of that Rosa Dawn” he answered worriedly, though his hold on her did not relent.

“So, if-- if I asked you to kiss me?”

“I’d say not today” 

“Okay. N-not a d-dream” more tears left her eyes, her mind not knowing whether to be happy or sad that she was ripped away from her dreamland. Sometimes she dreamed of the two of them together, hand in hand, smiling, snogging and other cold-shower-worthy stuff. Today was a nightmare’s turn. Draco in turn was trying to bite down a cheeky smirk.

“D-Draco” she called his name like a lost child her mother. 

“You’re safe--”

“I just wanted a family photo…” she mumbled to herself.

“Rosa?” it was just another thing Draco could not relate to. His house was filled with portraits going all the way back to his god-knows-how-manyeth great grandfather. He had always been part of a proper family. Quickly, he was ripped out of his thoughts.

Rosa’s eyes went up to his. “Please don’t leave me” she begged, “P-please! I’m so-o al-- alone” 

Draco let his iron grip relax slightly, just enough so that he could look at her properly. “Never” he promised. “Cross my heart” he added, seeing Rosa’s shoulders relax after hearing his promise. He may have not been able to relate to her, but his ability to love her would not disappear any time soon. 

Rosa scooted closer to him - as if that was possible. Her head was resting by his neck. Draco kept on whispering lovely things into her ear, promises of never letting her be alone. In his arms, Rosa closed her eyes, letting the feeling of safety take over. Having a warm embracing body next to her was comfortable and lovely, her stomach doing multiple tumbles. Out on a whim, Rosa placed a light kiss onto his neck. Draco froze immediately.

“I’m sorry” she said quickly, scooting backwards away from him after noticing his discomfort. 

“Bloody hell, Rosa Dawn” he cursed under his breath, letting go of her entirely.

“Draco?” 

“Just… give me a minute I have to bury that down” his eyes pressed closed in concentration. Rosa felt like she could hear his thoughts swimming, his memories trying bury and hide that particular one. 

Rosa waited, not touching him, but only inches away from him giving him the space he asked had silently asked for. It was the first time Rosa understood the extent in which he was battling his feelings. He looked uncomfortable, hands fisted and a vein in his neck popping to life.

Like many times before Rosa felt responsibility for others’ discomfort right after she had done an easily preventable deed. Only this time the deed could be deadly, for both of them. 

She quickly, rolled off of the bed getting up and tried to find her robes. Draco’s eyes opened in alarm straight away.

“What are you doing?”   


Rosa shook her head, “You’re-- you’re not dying because of me. I think-- I think Professor Snape had a good idea when he said that you shouldn’t sleep here with me” 

”What?”

”I will not have you die because I— I have no self control! I won’t have it!”

”Rosa Dawn, calm down—” he now too was standing up, eyebrows knotted together on top of his nose. 

”No! I have no one else! No one! I need— I can’t have them take you!” 

Draco shook his head, ”They won’t”

”You can’t promise me that, Draco” she continued her rant ”We can’t do this”

Not only did Draco’s stomach drop, he also found that the statement made him angry.

”No, Rosa, I won’t have this again. This whole will they or won’t they bullshit, it’s been over a year, I won’t go there again. Either I call you my girlfriend or I don’t”

”Girlfriend?”

Draco spread his arms in sheer frustration. ”What the fuck do you think the whole exclusive conversation was about?” 

“I… I thought it was-- just you know-- us becoming exclusive… like pre-relationship?”   


“You’re not making sense, Rosa Dawn” he dropped his voice, Rosa remembered it as his tone of disappointment. 

“You thought that I’m… your girlfriend” Rosa stated, seeing Draco’s frustration. 

His lips formed a tight line, one that made Rosa wonder if it was smart to have this conversation in the first place. Did he look heartbroken? Rosa wasn’t sure.

“Do you want to be?” 

Rosa lifted her eyes to his, filled with hope. “If I say yes, will you be able to hide it?”

“I don’t know” he answered honestly ignoring the surge of hope that went through him, before continuing, “I just want an answer”

“I can’t if it’ll get you killed”

“Then I’ll fucking work on it!” he raised his volume suddenly, making Rosa flinch. “Tell me I’m not delusional. Tell me I did not just hold you, and you--” 

“Draco--”   


“Are we exclusive or not? Exclusive meaning in a relationship, meaning boyfriend and girlfriend. If you give me a negative then I’ll distance myself, because I can’t do this chase anymore, Rosa Dawn. I have enough on my mind without all this” 

“Like what?” 

Draco glared at her; they both knew that she had asked the question knowing that it had something to do with Draco’s missions. “Give me an answer, Rosa” 

“I… I want-- I want you to stay alive” 

“Tell me” he pressed.

“I… You know my answer already, Draco. But I-- I can’t if it endangers you”   


“It endangers you too, Rosa Dawn. If you think I won’t work my ass off to make sure you stay safe, you’re an idiot. I may not be able to handle a kiss, but I’ll handle this” he reassured her, though both of them knew it was a blatant lie, though half of it was truth. Draco would fulfill his promise of working hard on his Occlumency, but Rosa wondered if it would be enough. If Voldemort saw this memory in Draco’s head, finding out about Rosa’s feelings towards the boy… they’d both be doomed.

“Okay” she said against her own logic. If this would make Draco happy, she’d do it. It was now her responsibility to make sure that he’d not die too. She took a deep breath. “Exclusive” she concluded.

He let out a breath she hadn’t notice he was holding. He took confident steps towards her before wrapping his arms around her confining her into his embrace. 

 

+++

 

Boyfriend.

The word just didn’t sound right coming off her tongue, most likely because she had never had one in her past. It just didn’t roll off her tongue. 

Draco.

Draco the Boyfriend.

Her mind wandered into the conversation she, Remus and Dora had during the holidays. How he had requested to meet the boy if he were to become exclusive with someone in that sense. He’d never approve of Draco. But did it matter? She was practically disowned already. 

Speaking of Remus had he gone back home? Was he still on the run? 

“Miss Dawn?” Professor Slughorn asked, brows high on his forehead. 

How was Dora doing? Did she still wear the ring on her finger?

“Miss Dawn!” Rosa flinched out of her thoughts. “I know you are having extra potions lessons with Professor Snape, but whilst you’re in my classroom, I’d appreciate concentration” 

“Uh, yes, sir” she quickly came of of her thoughts. The rest of the day followed the same way, almost every single Professor called her out on her mindlessness. Even Granger was giving her a bunch of concerned looks. 

“Miss Dawn, please stay after class” Professor McGonagall had called her out before giving everyone a mountain of homework, just before dinner. It was already bloody dark out. Slowly, the whole classroom, emptied whilst Rosa hadn’t moved an inch. 

Professor McGonagall sat behind her desk, quill running through multiple pieces of parchments. Rosa just waited for the teacher to address her, feeling slightly like she was being punished with detention. 

“I’ve written to Remus about your behaviour today” the older witch started, not looking up at her, instead just continuing to write. 

Rosa tried containing the flood of questions that appeared on to the tip of her tongue. Instead, she kept quiet. Concealing her discomfort by a neutral face and a hidden heartbeat. McGonagall quirked an eyebrow.

“I will ask for his presence for a meeting if your behaviour repeats” she continued what Rosa knew to be an empty threat, he was missing after all. There was no say that the owl even made its way to him. “He has agreed to the meeting” 

The statement attracted Rosa’s attention. “He-- he’s back?” she blurted out, quite loudly. Finally the professor too raised her eyes to her.

“Back?” he eyebrows raised, the simple question dominating the conversation, demanding for an answer. 

“He ran-- left Dora?” 

“He has been living within the walls of the Order headquarters since Christmas, Miss Dawn” 

An aggressive exhale left Rosa’s throat. Dora had lied. Why? WHY?  Stumbling, Rosa got up, pushing over the chair she was sitting on whilst doing so. Her breath was wincing, heavy.

“Miss Dawn?” the Professor got up, slowly walking to her. A primal urge to just maul the Prfessor went through her, thoguh she did try to dismiss the feeling.

“She lied. She-- Fuck-- I can’t-- breathe” her hand came to her throat, before feeling the familiar tingle of fury within her. Left hand leaned to the desk, nails scraping, scarring the wood.

With unsteady steps Rosa went to the window, not wanting to look at the older witch in fear losing control and attacking her. She looked up to the night sky, finding the full Moon within it, surrounded by grey clouds.

“GET SNAPE” she shouted the order to the professor with a broken voice. It was just the Moon, right? Making her angry and emotional? Turning around, Rosa saw that the teacher had indeed left, abandoning Rosa into the classroom.

She was alone. So, so alone. 

The Order wanted to hurt her. They knew the knowledge of Remus’ possible abandonment would hurt her, bring more memories. But… wasn’t Snape in the Order too? 

Taking out her wand, Rosa non-verbally shot a locking charm at the door, effectively barricading herself in just like she had done in other rooms so many times before. With the help of her cane, she slid down to the floor, her back leaning against the wall comfortably.

She started fiddling with the snake on her cane. 

How long she sat there, she did not know. However long she would think about Tonks’ reasons to lie to her she did not find one logical reason. Her left forearm started burning, Voldemort calling for a meeting. 

She moved once more, to her side until she had her arms around her legs in a perfect fetal position. She did not cry, keeping her face neutral, staring into the void. There were knocks on the door, but she managed to ignore them all. No one who truly cared for her would be behind the door anyway. 

There was only Draco. He was the only one still on her side, still caring for her, still holding her whenever she’d ask. 

The pain in her forearm was nothing compared to the pain she felt in her heart. Disowned, practically friendless and the one person she loved was in constant danger. She wanted a time-turner. She should’ve never agreed to help Granger with her potions studies. She wanted to go back when being lonely didn’t feel so wrong, when it felt normal. To the time when Draco and her weren’t friends or in relationship because they were reserved to other people. Rosa would happily just break her reservation with Crabbe and live as a spinster. This… it was too much. 

Images of Remus flashed through her eyes.

Memories of Draco.

Echos of her Mother’s voice, screaming. 

Red, evil eyes.

Rosa started shaking, her mind overflowing with her life. It was an influx of emotion, anger on top of all of it. It was overwhelming, too much all together.

The door flew off of its hinges. Rosa didn’t even flinch. She saw a flowing black robe, and after hearing his steps, Snape was kneeling in front of her, his hand under her chin, forcing her to drink down something that tasted like a wet dog. She threw it up immediately. 

“Miss Dawn, you need to drink this, now” his deep voice was commanding whilst his sleeve swiped off the cold sweat off of her forehead. Again, he brought the vial to her mouth and with a cringe at the disgusting taste, Rosa swallowed managing to keep it down. 

“Please” she whimpered, looking up at the Professor. “It’s so much” 

“More, drink more” tipping the vial, she swallowed the contents to the last drop with a loud whimper. She waited for something to happen but her sight was once more consumed by everything. 

“I-- It’s not doing anything!” she shouted, unblinking and terrified.

The basement, the weeks there, the pain radiated through her body. The Christmas Balls, all of them. The pranks, she could feel the warmth of dragon fire on her skin. 

Her body levitated, she wasn’t sure if it was reality or not. Very quickly after the world went black. 

  
  


She awoke in Draco’s quarters, Snape sitting by her side like Remus had when she was hurt last year. Opening her eyes was easy, she didn’t feel pain nor were there any unwanted images flashing in her head.

“Miss Dawn” Snape greeted.

“What-- what happened?” 

“The Moon. Next month you’ll have to drink the wolfsbane potion before the Moon emerges to prevent this from happening again” he explained, before continuing, “If you’re stable there are some news I’d like to share”   


Rosa took a moment to think, “Did Remus ever leave? Tonks told me he ran” The wizard sighed, shifting in his seat. 

“The Order… they wanted to test your loyalties” he said honestly. “If you sent Remus a letter it would mean that you cared”

“I care if my own Father abandons people like he did to me!” Rosa exclaimed, angry once more. “Why would they lie like that! It’s no fair!”   


“War is not fair, Miss Dawn”   


“They know! He left me! They left me!” she shouted, ranting at the teacher who seemed to be interested in her unstoppable words.

“Miss Dawn, does it not occur to you that you chose to get that brand on your arm?” he asked, brows high on his forehead.

“I didn’t choose this, if--”   


“No. You chose to be in that Ball. You chose to follow Draco like a mindless puppy. You could’ve easily be part of the Order if you so chose. You followed your Mother, did what you were raised to do. Do not blame anyone else but yourself for your brand” he scolded her like a father would a child, Rosa scowled all the way through the speech.

“So my Mother beating me to near death had nothing to do with it? Me talked into the Ministry had nothing to do with it? Me being forced to kill Sirius Black had nothing to do with it?” she questioned, controlling herself not to hit him with a hex or two.

“Forced to kill him?” his brow quirked slightly, curious to get the answer.

“You didn’t tell me about Remus, you don’t deserve to know the truth”

“Stubborn child” Snape murmured under his breath, “This is why you have the Mark edged to your skin. If you do not tell the truth, how can anyone trust you?”   


“Who would take care of Draco if I was in the Order? He’d be sent to Azkaban, he’d be bleeding in a bloody ditch after the war. I can’t leave him and the Order won’t have him” 

Snape scoffed at her naivety. “Did you ever ask?”   


“Of course not” she scrunched her nose up. 

“How do you think I ended up in the Order?” Rosa shrugged, he continued to answer. “I was young and in love with a muggleborn. She was in danger, I begged Dumbledore. There are always ways to find yourself back to the correct side, Rosa” her eyes lit up slightly when he used her first name. 

“What happened to the muggleborn?” she dared to ask. 

“I was too late” he said, deep regret in his voice. “But you still have time. To save both of you” with that he stood up. 

“You had news you wanted to share?” Rosa blurted out before he could make his leave. 

“There has been a mass breakout from Azkaban” Rosa’s breath hitched. “Madilyn is among the ones who escaped” his voice was calm and steady, studying her reaction.

“She can’t get within the Castle walls can she?” she asked, feeling fear taking over, her eyes begging for a lie she knew the Potions Master could give her.

“No. Hogwarts is safe” he gave her the lie she seeked. She nodded, controlling herself. “And I am proud of you. For controlling your temper throughout all of this. Not once did you hurt someone” 

“Thank you” 

As the Potions Master made his leave, Draco walked into the room. He clearly had been waiting outside, maybe for permission to come back to his own room. 

The blonde boy looked disgruntled, like he hadn’t slept at all for weeks. Distressed, he walked to occupy the chair Snape had sat on not two minutes ago. 

“Draco?” the call left out like a murmur from her throat, slightly scared to see his boyfriend like this, burying his face to his hands. 

With a prolonged sigh, he straightened up slightly running his hands along his face, absolutely devastated. 

“Your Dad?” Rosa asked, eyebrows curving into sadness. He nodded, looking straight at the floor. 

“My Mum too” With a gentle touch, she placed her hand onto his thigh, trying to somehow show her support. He leaned to her letting his head fall to her shoulder. 

“I don’t want to face him again, I… I thought we were safe from him” Draco whispered to the air, hopeless. It was clear to Rosa that ‘him’ could easily be Lucius or Voldemort or both. The air was heavy, the silence ugly. 

Rosa swallowed harshly. “Did he ever do-- did he hurt you? The way my Mum did me?” she asked, hoping for a negative answer. 

He didn’t give her words. Reaching for her cane next to the bed, he took a hold of it, spinning it easily with his fingers. He stopped and pointed at the small dent on the side of it. 

Rosa closed her eyes, not wanting to visualize how the dent got there. “Why did you give it to me, Draco?” she asked, her hold on his thigh hardening slightly.

“I didn’t want to be scared of it anymore. If it would help you get up on your feet, it wouldn’t matter that it once hit me down” 

She opened her eyes, looking at him. He was staring at the cane, conflicted. 

“Don’t torture yourself, Draco” bringing her hand to his cheek, moving his face gently for him not to look at the past torture device anymore. “I’m sorry. For what he did to you” 

Straight away, he shook his head, “It’s none of your concern”   


“Then why is it yours whenever my Mum puts her hands on me?” 

“Once. The day I got the Mark, he gave me a beating. Before that he wouldn’t sink down to that level, he wouldn’t treat me like a fucking elf. You got beaten for years. There’s a difference and you know it--” 

“Show me” she cut him off, her hand dropping from his cheek, before elaborating, “You’ve seen my scars, I haven’t seen yours” 

“I don’t have any”

“Liar” she called him out. With a roll of his eyes, he stood up and started unbuttoning his shirt. In turn, Rosa realized what she had asked for and could feel her cheeks reddening.

“If you’re trying to seduce me, it’s not working” Draco said with an amused tone, though his expression was the complete opposite. He looked almost fearful before peeling the shirt off of his shoulders and exposing his upper body to her. 

His skin was pale and smooth. No imperfections to be seen. Turning around, he showed her his back. There was slight discoloration around his upper back just below his right shoulder. It was old, but it was there. She stood up from the bed.

“Told you there’s nothing” he interrupted her thoughts. Rosa quickly pressed her hand on the scar, stopping him from turning back around. 

“That’s not nothing” she whispered, desperately trying to get rid of the images of Lucius Malfoy bringing that bloody cane down to his back with force. 

She slid her hands around him until she was holding him in a hug, his back to her front. “Is this okay?” she asked, just in case. Keeping his mouth shut, Draco nodded. She placed her head on her shoulder. “I’m sorry for what he did to you”

“Rosa--”   


“I won’t let him touch you ever again. Cross my heart” 

Draco moved, peeling her hands off of him, and finally turning to look at her. He cupped her cheeks. “I really, really want to kiss you right now” his voice was raspy and in pain. 

“But you won’t” Rosa stated with a gentle smile, already knowing that there was no kiss coming her way.   
But I won’t” he agreed with a smile, but gave her forehead a light peck. “I’ve given the same promise to you about your Mother, you know that right?” 

“I know” he wrapped his arms around her, pulling their bodies flush against each other. 

“What are we going to do?” Draco whispered into her hair, not expecting an answer.

“We’ll figure it out. Together” maybe she didn’t need to long for a big family picture. Maybe Draco could be the one to call family, Rosa thought in her mind. Just maybe she could be content with him by her side.

She had been lied to by those she had called family in the interest of war strategies. Those who she had called friends had used her as a human shield. Not one of those people would give Draco a second chance, but her they welcomed for Christmas dinner until they found out a half truth not questioning it at all. They knew Voldemort’s tactics, they knew how he grew his army. They didn’t question why Rosa would join, not after what she had done. She would not give Snape’s words any consideration, even though they weighed on her. The muggleborn was dead, but the situation was completely different, right?

She wanted to be free but there was always something on the way. Madilyn. Remus. Voldemort. Herself. The list could go on for ages. Maybe that was the core of her anger, the exact one Snape had told her to locate. Or maybe it was fear, Rosa did not know. 

The one thing she did know, that now, in Draco’s arms she was happy. It didn’t matter that there was a war, it didn’t matter that her Mark burnt. He was here with her, and he had promise never to leave. That should’ve been enough for eternal happiness, but to Rosa it was momentary, allowing herself to get lost in the feeling for just a few minutes. She relished these moments and buried them in her mind. She had to be careful. Not only because of the Dark side; but because neither of them knew of the book that lay in Potter’s hands as he fell asleep each night, learning its secrets. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, lovelies!
> 
> Leave a kudos/bookmark/comment or just have a wonderful day!


	45. Ideas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not once have I missed a week of uploading before now. Damn. My apologies, my university decided to dump all the deadlines on top of me. ONE MORE LITTLE ESSAY TO GO AND I'M DONE!!  
> So again, I'm sorry. BUT I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

_Rosa laughing._

_Rosa looking at him like he wasn’t the worst person alive._

_Rosa saying that she’d be his girlfriend._

_Rosa giving him a kiss on the neck._

_Rosa telling him that she loved him._

_Rosa sleeping in his arms._

_Rosa unbuttoning her shirt, licking her lips as she did so._

“STOP!” Draco shouted at his teacher who had now taken the leap from reality to his own fantasies. It was humiliating, being exposed to his godfather in such a manner. And there was always the fact that the Professor had _told_ her. Draco could feel the burn of embarrassment at the pit of his stomach and he was sure that his cheeks were burning. At least the teacher didn’t need to see some of his more graphic fantasies this time.

“Try finding something different for once” he muttered, not looking at Snape, his arms crossing over his chest. He was acting like an upset child.

“You are able to block everything else, you are aware of this, Draco” Snape rolled his eyes, but understood the teenager’s embarrassment.

“Doesn’t mean that you should just go prodding through my bloody dreams!” he raised his volume once more, knowing that Snape wouldn’t appreciate his rude behaviour. To his surprise, the professor didn’t say anything, just quirked his brow. “It’s not for you to see”

“And if the Dark Lord sees what I’ve seen?”

Draco glared his godfather, hating that he was right. “He can look into Rosa’s mind and see none of the sort”

“Are you dumb enough to think that the Dark Lord won’t see the difference between reality and fantasy in your mind? Within Rosa he won’t see a difference, with your case you could have a sign up confessing your love for her. You need to find memories, ones with neutral feelings and apply those to the images of Rosa. Keep the care you have for her, she did the same--”

“Only she has memories where she hates me”

Snape looked at the boy, finding his words completely oblivious. “Clearly… You haven’t seen her mind when it’s open” Draco didn’t say anything just waited for the Professor to continue. “I’m not sharing her inner thoughts with you just like I don’t share yours with her”

“Yeah, because telling her about my bloody dreams doesn’t go strictly against that”

Snape scoffed. “Rosa has never hated you. She’s been disappointed by you, she has been betrayed by you, but none of the sort of hate ever sit around her thoughts. You should know by know that she wants to assume the best of everyone, even those who don’t deserve that trust”

“B-but--”

“Those are the moments she shows to the Dark Lord. It is still evident that she cares for you, but she’s capable of hiding you within her mind”

“Then how do you know all that? What she feels for me”

“She showed me, once. I asked for her to show her mind opened to assess her talent as an Occlumens. I was overthrown by thoughts, betrayal, hurt… and you. That is all I will say, if you want to see it yourself you shall ask her”

Draco looked down on the floor. “I don’t have neutral feelings for her, it’s all… so strong, I hate it. I don’t want to feel like this towards her”

“Liar” Snape said, knowing the truth. “It is exactly what you want to feel, right now. I’ve been prodding around your thoughts enough to know that” he stated, giving the boy a reality check. “Do you not--” the Professor cut himself off, and whipped out his wand. “Brace yourself” non-verbally he delved himself into Draco’s mind once more.

Instead of looking for Rosa, he looked for his parents.

 

_Draco was in his own room back in the Manor, having dinner with her family. A feeling of disgust was in his throat, having hatred within him as he looked at his Father munching on the bloody steak on his plate._

_“I love you, Draco. I think Astoria will love you too, in time” Narcissa said with a gentle smile. Draco wanted to speak out of turn, wanted to scream. Astoria was young, a third year. She was pretty, sure. In his dreams he would marry a girl he actually loved. That dream seemed to be put into his fantasies now._

_He nodded at his Mother, hatred seething through him. How he did managed to love the Death Eaters in this table he did not know. He hated them so much, but they were family. He didn’t want to go through with this marriage, he didn’t want the future these two blondes were nesting for him. Going to his fifth year would be heaven compared to the life he had in the Manor._

_The Dark Lord was back. There was no denying that, his Father had already talked about how glorious he was. Voldemort sounded amazing, glorious even. It excited him a little bit, knowing that this was the man who was supposed to do the things her parents had preached for so long._

_His thoughts shifted to Rosa Dawn. He had kept an eye on her throughout the year, her being the main reason why he started to question the things that were fed down his throat. The friendship they once shared, was one that he missed dearly._

  


Snape let out a breath as he retreated from the memory. Draco scowled at him, not thankful for his intrusion. At least the teacher didn’t see any midnight fantasies this time.

“That is why you want to love her” Snape stated, not elaborating at all.

Draco took a moment to think, since his godfather’s words didn’t sit well with him. “That doesn’t mean that what I feel isn’t real”

“Of course not. But you have to learn to guard it” he reminded him, very close to sounding like scolding.

“And I thought you were reading my thoughts just for fun” he gave him a condescending smile. “I’ve been telling you, I can’t control my mind what comes to her! We’ve been at this for how long now? Months!”

“So you’re just going to let her die?” Snape questioned.

Draco stood up immediately, anger brewing within him. He glared holes to the potions master, wishing that the look would at least intimidate the man slightly. Snape’s calm demeanor did not relent.

“Are you?” Draco scoffed at the balls on that man. How dare he? “Draco if you don’t learn you endanger her life”

He felt his breath hitching, the familiar feeling of a panic attack brewing in his mind. “You think I don’t know that, Severus? You think I don’t think every time I let her fall asleep in my arms that this could be a moment that the Dark lord can use against me?! I just can’t block her out! I can’t!” he ranted, his breathing becoming heavy.

“Draco, it is not impossible to learn. You haven’t found the reason to your block yet”

“Tell me how!” Snape shook his head. “Don’t tell me how it’s not that simple. I was chosen for a mission, it’s mine. Nevertheless if I succeed or fail, I need to be ready to keep her safe”

“It is not that simple, Draco”

+++

Draco got back to his quarters, tired as a rag he had even walked through the hallways with his hair matching Potter’s everyday look. But he did manage to flash a pathetic smile towards Rosa when he made it inside.

Rosa was sitting by the table, her quill out, hunched over pieces of parchment. “Hi” she greeted him, sounding just as tired as he looked.

“What are you up to?” he asked, stepping behind her to leer over her shoulder.

She sighed, frustrated. “Does it sound mean enough?” she knew he was reading her parchments.

 

_You lying scumbag!_

 

“Just the one line you’re planning on sending your father?” he asked, knowing straight away who was supposed to be on the receiving end of that parchment.

“It’s not enough is it?” Rosa scowled and Draco had to wonder how long Rosa had sat there just thinking of what to write.

“Why do you have to send him a letter anyway? What difference does it make?” Draco wondered out loud, genuinely curious. “It’ll just make you more upset”

“He has to know that I know about their scheme. He has to know that I’m not just a pawn for them to play with! I-- It-- I’ve been holding off for a month. They have to know” Rosa said, her mind made up, no matter what he would say against it.

“Then it’s not mean enough” Draco said, shrugging. He let out a tired sigh.

“Is Snape being hard on you?” Rosa asked whilst standing up.

He grimaced. It wasn’t a nice feeling, knowing that your girlfriend was talented enough to block off the second strongest wizard in the world, whilst he was struggling getting her body off his mind.

“That bad? Lewd thoughts again--?” her teasing tone was cut off.

“ _Shut. Up._ ” Draco said, hating, absolutely hating that Snape had seen her in his mind like that. Rosa took an offended step backwards, her bum hitting the table, eyebrows high in her hairline.

“Excuse me?”

“Stop bringing that up” Draco ordered her. She still stared at him, silent fire behind her eyes. The silence pressed on Draco, annoying him further. “What?” he asked, widening his arms in mockery.

“I’m waiting for an explanation is all. I was just teasing” Rosa explained, waiting and wondering.

“Yeah? Just teasing, huh? You want to know what he sees in my head?!” Draco looked at her, Rosa wasn’t sure if he was about to implode on her or cry himself to sleep. She ended up just shrugging.

“Fine” he growled before continuing, “You, sleeping beside me. You, in my arms. You, unbuttoning your shirt, nothing underneath. You, kissing me everywhere, constantly. You, laying on that bloody bed, waiting for me, naked. You, you, you, you, you! Fucking hell! He’s not supposed to fucking see you like that!” the ended up shouting the last sentence out at her.

Rosa’s eyes were wide in shock as silence engulfed them again. She took a few breaths, trying to process the information. She walked past him, towards the door.

“Rosa…” Draco called for her, but he did not intend to stop her from leaving. She strode up to the wooden door, and with a deafening scream she hit her fist to it. The mirror on the wall shattered to pieces, her magic moving through the room. There was a slight crack she heard her fingers do, but the pain on her hand informed her that she hadn’t broken any bones.

Straightening herself out, she turned back to Draco. “How am I supposed to not jump you when you say something like that?” she asked from the air.

Draco scoffed. “So you’re not upset because a teacher has seen you naked?”

“Were there any scars on my ‘naked’ body?” she interrogated the boy. His eyes started moving around awkwardly. “That’s a no. Draco, _you_ haven’t seen me naked. Snape knows that. Obviously in your head I’m going to look more beautiful than in real life, it’s not a big deal”

“What makes you think I don’t find you beautiful just exactly as you are? Scars and all?” Draco pressed, slightly confused by her comments on herself. He wanted to be offended for her.

Rosa scoffed. “ _Please_ ” her tone was mocking. Nevertheless of their conversation, Rosa strode towards the bed, letting the duvet engulf her.

“Have you used the salve?” Draco asked, thus changing the topic of conversation. It seemed that neither of them were in the mood for bickering. There was a faint ‘mmhmm’ from the bed, one that Draco didn’t believe. Huffing, he opened the drawer on her bedside table, only to find the circular tub of salve nearly completely full. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Rosa Dawn” he scolded, and with a prolonged sigh sat down on the bed.

Slowly, he took a hold of her left arm bringing it to his lap. Rosa said nothing, but Draco could see that her eyes were firmly shut. He peeled back the sleeve, only to find her Dark Mark, angry and red and Draco drew his own conclusion.

“It’s infected. You should use the salve morning-night, Rosa Dawn. It can’t be that difficult”

“I don’t want to look at it” she spoke finally, although it wash harsly and through gritted teeth.

“Then turn your bloody head and rub the salve on that way, you can’t tell me that you haven’t taken a shower naked for over a month!”

“Fine, I’ll do it. Happy?”

Angrily, he put her sleeve back down and stomped over to his side of the bed only to be under the exact same duvet she was. They weren’t touching, both staring holes at the ceiling.

Rosa cleared her throat. As she spoke, her voice was annoyed, but genuinely wanted an answer to her question; “What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?”

Draco dared to laugh at the absurdity of the question. They were basically in the middle of a fight and she wanted to make a date? Stubborn girl. _His_ stubborn girl. He had to clear his own throat to snap himself out of those lovely thoughts. “I kind of assumed that I’d be spending it with my girlfriend”

“We can’t go around parading around, can we?” she was still annoyed with him, staring daggers at the ceiling. “I was thinking of the Room of Req--”

“No” he firmly cut her off, not even entertaining the idea. “We can go by the lake” he offered, before continuing, “Cast disillusionment charms”

Rosa let out a small ‘hmm’ of approval, his previous ‘no’ still echoing in her head. She turned to her side, now facing Draco. Her hand snuck up on him, to hold his. “You’re still working in the Room of Requirement?”

“Yes”

“And still, you won’t tell my why?”

“No”

Moving closer to him, she wrapped her arms around him completely, and let her head fall onto his chest. “I’m still annoyed with you” she wanted that point to be clear, “But I also want you to know that I don’t want you to get hurt”

Draco swallowed, and moved his own arms now to reciprocate the hug. “You’re more important than I am”

“Don’t say that. We should be on an equal standing, Draco. It’s not fair if you won’t let me prioritize your safety too”

“Prioritizing and equal standing are opposites, Rosa Dawn” he pointed out, the smartass he was.

“Don’t hate me when I refuse to save myself over you” Draco didn’t promise anything.

The next day Rosa sent a letter to Remus with a single word, one that Draco had deemed mean enough.

 

_Liar._

 

+++

 

It was like a lightbulb had gone off in her head. She had been in Herbology class, when it had hit her out of nowhere. She was staring at her wiggentree with widened eyes, her fingers starting to tap on the table restlessly.

It took fifteen minutes of fidgeting before the bell rang. Rosa couldn’t even hear Professor Sprout’s homework for the week as she was already out of the door. And then she ran. Finding Draco in her haste would be easy since lunch was about to start. But of course, he wasn’t in the Great Hall. Even when the Hall was bustling and bursting with people, she could not point platinum blonde hair in the Slytherin table.

With a long sigh she made her way to the seventh floor, having a bad feeling that he was there. She walked past the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, reminding herself of when Granger had shown her the room, told her to go to Remus during Easter.

She stood in front of the blank wall.

_I want to be with Draco._

_I want to be with Draco._

_I want to be with Draco._

There was a door in front of her not long after. Pressing her hand to the knob, a room filled with everything anyone would want revealed itself from behind it. Towers of random stuff piled within the huge room and Rosa had to wonder why Draco wanted to use so much time surrounded by what could only be described as trash.

She took a couple steps forwards, only to topple over something that looked like a oil lamp.

“Who’s there?!” Draco’s voice was strong, but Rosa could hear the dread in it. He tried to intimidate, only to be failed by his own fear. Fear that Rosa knew nothing about.

“It’s me” she answered and could’ve sworn she heard a relieved sigh coming from somewhere behind the piles. It didn’t take long for Draco to appear in front of her - he clearly knew the ways through the room.

He opened his mouth to scold her, but she beat him to it, “I got an idea” he closed his mouth, “If you can’t fabricate memories about me within your own mind, maybe we could fabricate them in real life?” he stayed silent, confused even. “Like if… Okay. Go back so that you can’t see me and walk back in, yeah?” she requested. He just stood there, completely dumbfounded. “Please, for me”

“Cheap shot” he murmured under his breath, but just to entertain her he slowly walked  out of her vision, did a u-turn and walked right back to her.

Only this time, she had her mask on, neutral expression and her brows refusing to move with her words like they often did. “Do you think the Dark Lord will be pleased if we’d do some recruiting?”

“What?” Rosa didn’t relent.

“Come on, Draco. We were in the Ball together, they should follow our example. We shouldn’t be the only ones with Marks on our arms from the soon-to-be-of-age class. The Dark Lord needs more people. Don’t you think?”

Draco rolled his eyes, catching her drift.  “He drafts who he pleases. The old families don’t need to persuaded, Rosa. You should know that. There is no one to draft within the walls of Hogwarts. Just leave me alone and let me execute my mission” he huffed the last part, genuinely annoyed with her for interrupting her.

“Which you’re still not telling me about?”   
“It’s my honour, Rosa Dawn. Not yours. Keep out of it”

“Fine” Rosa decided that the conversation was over then, and walked out of the door behind her, letting Draco in the room alone for a moment. In her head she counted to five, before going back in, eyeing him with a questioning glance.

“What?” he seemed defensive.

“Do you think it’ll work? Having fake conversations and… then when He looks for me in your head, you show the fake stuff… because it’s real”

“I’ll ask Severus about it. Can you leave now?” his hands were fidgeting, uncomfortable.

“Are you alright?”

He sighed. “I don’t like having you here” Rosa nodded in understanding.

“I’ll see you later, I guess…” An awkward silence fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one will be a lot more eventful, I promise, this one is a lot of setting up, as you can probably tell.  
> Thank you for reading once more,
> 
> Leave a comment/kudos/bookmark, or have a wonderful day!


	46. Promises Go Both Ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND I AM ON TIME WOOHOO!!  
> This chappie I'm actually quite proud of and happy of the quality of writing in it. I hope you enjoy it as well!! Also it's the longest one in a WHILE!!

The first time Rosa woke up to Draco’s distress rather than her own was the morning of a Thursday that also happened to be Valentine’s day. His eyes were tightly shut, whimpers leaving throat.

Rosa was half awake, her hand holding his. The week leading up to Valentine’s had been cold to say the least - literally and metaphorically. Most days Rosa didn’t send in his quarters and resulted her sleeping alone - which also resulted in the growing dark bags underneath her eyes. Since she had sat with Snape until midnight learning Occlumency, she had decided to curl into his arms. He was already half asleep, but was conscious enough to press her into his chest.

Now Draco was clearly in distress, Rosa could’ve sworn she heard a sob from the young man. He was breathing hard, a hard change from his regular peaceful sleep. Shifting from his hold, Rosa sat up slightly and gave him a firm nudge.

“Draco?” she called his name firmly, not moving her hand from his shoulder. He threw his head away from her, shaky breaths not relenting. “Draco!” he snapped awake with a gasp, eyes wide and scared. He looked up at Rosa, down to her hand on his shoulder. He flinched at the touch, “Don’t fucking touch me” he commanded, though his voice was practically shaking. Rosa complied.

“Are you alright?” Rosa asked, fidgeting with her fingers now. Draco was always so good at calming her down by just holding her. The option didn’t seem open at the moment.

“Leave” his voice was still small, and quite quiet. Rosa’s breath hitched in offence.

“W-what?” she wanted to make sure she heard him right. She had a bad feeling that she had not.

“Go!” the shout echoed in the bedroom. He was still laying down, but his glare did reach her soul. Rosa just stared at him frozen, shocked at his sudden command. “Get the fuck out of here, Rosa Dawn!”

Rosa scrambled out of bed, her mouth still open not really sure if he was serious. “Draco--”  
“What do you not understand, get the fuck out!” he was roaring now. The tear rolling down his cheek just made Rosa want to stay more, but the hatred in his eyes stabbed her. Stepping backwards and finding her robe and shoes and picking them up slowly, Rosa kept her eyes on him waiting for him to change his mind.

“LEAVE!” Rosa flinched and slipped out of the door, a second after which she heard the click of the lock; Draco had effectively barricaded himself in. Rosa could not feel anything but like all the girls he’d throw out after a quick shag. The thought made her feel more dirty that it should’ve.

A quick _Tempus_ charm told her that it was almost 5am, the idea of continuing her slumber quickly diminished. Instead she walked to the kitchens, deciding that breakfast could cheer her up.

It didn’t. Rosa ended up playing their conversation in her head over and over again, thinking what could’ve triggered him to lash out. She had just woken him up, and even though Draco wasn’t a morning person, waking up early couldn’t make him that angry.

The day worn on, classes being a bore although the Professors tried to make it ‘fun’ by including some appropriate teaching materials that suited the holiday. In potions class Slughorn presented them with Amortentia although they had already studied it last term. Rosa was scared to smell it; only to be unsurprised by the scent of fresh oranges, Mrs. Weasley’s straight-out-of-the-oven chocolate cake and crisp green apples. There was no mystery in the smells; she loved the scent of oranges, she loved Mrs. Weasley’s chocolate cake and she loved-- NO, no, that’s too strong of a word. She _cared_ for Draco.

_Shit._

Professor McGonagall in turn made the pupils turn ballerina figurines into singing cupids; a skill Rosa doubted anyone needed. Professor Flitwick lectured them about how everyone should be careful during this time of year: “Incantating birds to sing love songs is not appropriate, since it requires a good amount of skill. Last year a student managed to charm the birds to sing, only for them to start spouting insults at every passing student”. Rumour had it that even Professor Binns managed to make the legend of Cupid and love-magic sound boring. As a surprise to absolutely no one, Snape’s classes went by just like on an any other day. He did though dismiss them early in the afternoon, something that he very rarely did. Perhaps he was on the holiday spirit after all.

When Rosa had finally made it back to her dorm - a little after 3 - she was ready to get herself dolled up. It wasn’t like she didn’t wear makeup often, she had some on most of the days. But it was Valentine’s day, thus putting in a bit more effort seemed appropriate. She did a natural but slightly sparkly eye look, and added one of the mauve lipsticks her Mother had bought her so that she could ‘charm the boys’ over a year ago.

To her chagrin, Granger decided to march in just as Rosa started brushing her hair. The brown haired girl looked Rosa up and down in the least judgemental way. “Who are you trying to impress?” she asked with a slight smile.

“No one” Rosa lied, keeping on untangling her straight hair, wondering what to do with it.

“You shouldn’t curl it. You don’t want to look like you tried too hard” just to spite the other Gryffindor, Rosa flicked her wand to curl her black hair into soft waves.

“Pretty” Granger commented, sitting down on her bed, but keeping her body angled to face Rosa. Rosa’s back was to her, though she could see her through the mirror where the girl was already looking at her. Anger and annoyance started bubbling in Rosa’s stomach, no matter how much she tried to ignore the feeling. She pulled half of her hair up to a bun on top of her head.

“Do you have any lipgloss? I could lend you some?” Granger suggested.

Rosa finally caved and huffed, “Why are you talking to me?” she questioned. Granger’s kind smile faltered slightly.

“Umm… I just wanted to be kind to you is all… We were friends--”

“Key word being ‘were’, Granger” Rosa cut her off and stood up.

Granger was now biting her lip looking more uncomfortable. “You know I did like it when we four would just hang out. I guess I just miss that. Harry is obsessed with his potions book and Ma-- acting weird. Ron is all over Lavender these days…--”

“You might’ve wanted to appreciate our friendship before you dragged me into the Ministry--”

“And I’m sorry about that. Sirius… That’s because of me, I know it. I don’t think you’d kill anyone without a reason--”

“Keep your nose out of my business, Granger. We’re not friends. We’re not even acquaintances anymore. Haven’t you fucked up my life enough?”

Granger shifted slightly, feeling the weight of the air and just like Rosa, felt quite uncomfortable. They hadn’t had a conversation for practically months. With a rough swallow, the bushy haired Gryffindor changed the topic, deciding that it was the best idea. “Who’s your date?”

“I don’t have a date” Rosa lied again with a noticeable roll of her eyes.

“So, you’re just dolling up for no reason?”

Rosa raised her eyebrows. “Something wrong with that?”

“N-No… Rosa… Is it Malfoy?” Rosa slapped her mask on fast. She hoped Granger hadn’t noticed her tiny little flinch.

“Why the fuck would it be bloody Malfoy of all people?”

“You’ve been spending a lot of time together”

“It’s called keeping up appearances, Granger. It’s expected. He’s also happens to be better study company than a certain Gryffindor bitch” with that, Rosa felt like the conversation was done. She put her winter robes on, and took her scarf and gloves before leaving the dorm.

Rosa emptied her mind during her walk to the edge of the lake. With an elegant swish of her wand she put down a warming charm onto the snow and sat down underneath a big tree, leaning her back against it.

She heard the bell ring in the distance, notifying everyone of the end of all classes at 4 pm. If Rosa was remembering correctly - and she was - Draco was in Herbology, so it shouldn’t take too long for him to join her. Rosa started snaking on Dolly Mixtures Draco had bought her on his run to Hogsmeade, more importantly, Honeydukes. She had a couple of chocolate frogs in her robes, knowing that Draco had been collecting the cards for ages. The chocolate itself was just a plus.

Rosa peeked over her shoulder, knowing she might get a glimpse of the students leaving Herbology on top of the hill. She saw no one, and sighed. Couple more sweets made it to her mouth.

The wind decided to pick up as if the February afternoon wasn’t cold enough even with the warming charm. Rosa wrapped her Gryffindor scarf around her neck a little tighter, once more peeking over her shoulder to see if Draco was walking down the hill to her. He wasn’t.

They had agreed on meeting by the lake after classes, right? Rosa went through their conversations about their Valentine’s day in her head repeatedly until she was sure that she hadn’t done a mistake. They had agreed on meeting by the lake after classes. Maybe he was just a little late. Half an hour late.

Half of the tin of her Dolly Mixtures was gone. Her gloved fingers were tapping on the snow, taking some to her fist and then dropping it. It got boring very quickly.

An hour went by. No Draco.

Another one. Rosa’s warming charm had dissipated but she was too disheartened to notice.

A third hour passed when Rosa was sure that he wouldn’t show up. She didn’t move though. Their promises rang through her head.

_Defend the other with your life in battle._

_No lies._

_Tell the other if someone’s hurting you._

_Exclusive._

_They will not leave each other alone._

_Promises go both ways._

It seemed that Draco had broken each one of them except for the first one and there was no bloody battles to fight. On a second thought their promise wasn’t up yet when he was snogging other people.

Rosa looked up at the now darkened sky, her continual _Tempus_ charm was telling her that dinner time was slowly drawing to a close, meaning that she would’ve been sitting in the snow for almost 4 hours now.

Draco wasn’t there. There was absolutely no way he didn’t know that it wasn’t Valentine’s Day; everyone was talking about it, the classes were centered around it, the bloody Great Hall was decorated. It led Rosa to a very easy conclusion: Draco had stood her up deliberately.

He left her alone. She was alone. Alone. The word rang in her head, echoing. When her stomach grumbled at her angrily, Rosa decided to stand up and make her way to the kitchens. Only when she was back inside the Castle walls did she realize that she had been freezing.

Just as Rosa had managed to breathe in the warmth she heard her name being called with a shout behind her. She froze in place, stopping her walking abruptly, which her sore legs from hours of sitting didn’t appreciate.  That tone that Potter had called her with was too familiar to the scarfaced boy’s voice when he had screamed at her for killing Sirius. Maybe he was here to finally get his revenge.

Against her intuition, Rosa turned around. She jumped slightly; Potter managed to get close to her quicker than she had expected, he was only a few feet away. Opting to stay quiet, Rosa waited for him to explain himself.

“Did you know about it?” the _Saviour_ ’s eyes were pure fire as he spoke out of breath. Rosa noticed the map that showed everyone in his left hand, wand in the other.

“What are you talking about?” Rosa asked, voice laced with genuine confusion and curiosity.

“Ron was poisoned” the statement left like a growl from the Gryffindor boy’s throat.

Rosa’s eyes widened in shock, “What?!” only when the exclamation left her throat was when she noticed that her volume was a tad too high to convey any sort of lack of interest.

“Did you know about it?” he accused. “I know Malfoy was behind the whole thing” at that Rosa took a step backwards. “I’ve seen you spend a lot of time together. Sleep tog--”

“No we don’t” Rosa denied immediately and rolled his eyes when she saw Potter raise one eyebrow in speculation. “I’m his tutor. I practically do his homework for him. While he sleeps I slave away” just for emphasis, Rosa pointed at the dark circles under her eyes that she knew her makeup could not completely cover.

Potter scowled, “Why would you?” the idea of being in a close proximity to Draco seemed to disgust him more than her company.

“It’s called keeping up appearances, Potter. I don’t really have a say in the matter now, do I? And who’s fault is that?” she challenged her, knowing that she was correct in her point.

“You know a lot about him then. He did it, didn’t he?”

“Not that I know of, Potter. If you knew anything from stalking him, you’d know that he doesn’t share” Rosa hated that she was defending Draco by telling Potter the truth. The feeling was making her uncomfortable enough that she decided to take more steps backwards, away from him.

“You owe me, don’t you think? For killing Sirius?” his expression read agony and mourning and Rosa could immediately tell that Potter did not like using Sirius as a way of blackmailing her into telling the truth. Rosa did not appreciate it and her heart lurched under the weight of his words.

“That’s the truth, Potter. And I owe you shit”

Before she could walk away, Potter’s biting words stopped her once more. “Ron is my best friend, Dawn. He almost died. I know Malfoy did it. Just like he cursed Katie Bell last term” Rosa tried to pull off a ‘what-are-you-talking-about’ -face, acting as if this accusation was new information to her.

“Do you have proof?” she shrugged asking, entertaining Potter’s imagination. She knew that Draco was behind Bell’s attack. He had outright screamed about it to her face. But poisoning Ron? Rosa doubted that the Dark Lord would give Draco a mission to kill the Chosen One’s best friend. I mean, it would make more sense to kill Granger off first, right? That way the ginger boy would be more vulnerable too.

“None that matters” Potter answered the question truthfully. “I really hate you, Dawn. I want you to know that” it was his turn to take steps back before turning completely around and heading towards what Rosa could only speculate as the quickest route to the Hospital Wing.

Rosa moved only to realize that her appetite was gone.

She was frozen in place once more just like she had been outside. It wasn’t often when she felt like whatever she did she would be faced by a dead end. Last time she felt that in the Ministry when she was unable to throw any curses and jinxes during the battle. Now, if she went to the Gryffindor dorms Granger and Potter would interrogate her after Madam Pomfrey throws them out of the Hospital Wing for the night. If she went to Draco’s quarters, she would have to face him. Both of the options were a dead end for her, she didn’t have the energy to start shouting at anyone.

Standing in the middle of the deserted hallway for a good ten minutes thinking, Rosa came to the conclusion that she’d act like a child and run away from her situation. She didn’t even feel bad about it as she made her way to the seventh floor corridor.

_I want to be safe._

_I want to be safe._

_I want to be safe._

An impeccably carved wooden door appeared in front of her. As she stepped into the woodhouse’s bedroom, Rosa allowed a couple angry tears run down her face. She looked around the room which she knew to be the Warriors’ hiding place, their lair. Though it was odd that the living room was nowhere to be seen, Rosa could only see the bedroom and the door to the toilet.

A clank came from the said toilet that made Rosa come back to Earth. She flinched violently and got out her wand, pointing it at the door with a shaking hand. Another loud crack, like glass breaking, came from the loo.

Rosa’s breath was shivering in fear, she didn’t even have time to think that whoever was in the room definitely was not allowed in here. The only thought that was in her mind was that whoever was here, they would hurt her. It didn’t need to make sense, that was a fact in her mind.

The door creaked open, Rosa had a jinx on the tip of her tongue. Draco stepped out, his suit jacket ripped to literal shreds. Rosa did not let her wand down. The blonde looked up at her, realizing who was behind the sudden change of the room.

“When you got the Mark. What did you say to me, the first thing?” Rosa asked, wanting to make sure that it was Draco who she was talking to. Maybe it was stupid not to trust the room, but her request for safety might’ve included Draco. This blonde Slytherin could just be the Room’s creation.

“I didn’t have a choice, you know that right?” Draco answered, expression half confused, half angry. Rosa lowered her wand, but kept it by her side instead of putting it back to her robes.

“Are you sleeping here tonight?” she asked when the silence got too pressing for her.

“Yes”

Rosa nodded, and turned around her intention being as simple as leaving without a word. “Why are you here?” he sounded almost scolding, like she was the one not allowed in the room. But the question did anger her beyond any measure, he wasn’t that oblivious was he?

Her knuckles went white around her wand. Rosa turned to face him, eyes red with rage and sadness. “Why am I here?” she repeated his idiotic question. He shrugged. “What day is it Draco?”

“14th of February” he answered, poker faced. An unamused scoff left Rosa’s throat in offense. 

“I wanted to sleep in a bed that didn’t have you in it. I’m assuming you know why?” he didn’t answer which angered Rosa further. “We defend each other in battle with our lives. We don’t lie to each other. When someone hurts you, you tell me. Exclusive. You don’t leave me alone. Promises go both ways” she listed them, only this time out loud. “You’re lying to me. Someone’s hurting you, and you’re not telling me. And you left me alone” when the last sentence left her mouth an angry tear dropped from her eye which she swatted away immediately. “You left me alone” she repeated with a sob.

“Rosa--”

“Why?” Rosa asked, “Why did you leave me alone, Draco?”

“I--”

“Are you aware that you’re the only one in my life right now? Let me answer that for you: yes, you do know. That’s why you promised not to leave me. B-but… if you-- if you don’t want a date, tell me. Don’t leave me waiting for you outside in the cold for four hours! It’s bullshit, whatever excuse you have!”

“There’s something I need to do--”

“Yeah? Like poison Ron Weasley?” she threw the accusation to the air too casually in midst of her anger. Draco didn’t react at all to her words. “Or did you have something more important to do than remember to spend Valentine’s Day with your girlfriend? Or is there something else you need to tell me?”

At that the Slytherin did react to. “Are you insinuating that I want to end our relationship?” he took a step towards her. Rosa shrugged.

“What am I supposed to think? I’m--” Rosa had to cut herself off in frustration, another tear leaving her eye.

“Rosa you’re upset because your feelings got hurt--”

_SMACK_

Rosa silenced him with a hardy slap to his cheek. “Do not. Belittle my feelings, Draco Malfoy” she practically growled the words out. Draco just stared at her.

“Rosa--”

“What was your nightmare about?” she didn’t want let him speak about anything important. She was too scared to. “That’s why, right? Something in that triggered you, you sent me away and left me”

Draco scowled. “It’s nothing you should concern yourself with”

“Fuck. Off!” Rosa roared, anger within her rising and her magic prinkling in her fingertips.

“What do you want then?” he was biting his cheek.

“I want you to show up! I want to-- to talk to you! Like… like how your day was and you answering me honestly. Or you telling me what your amortentia smells like. Or what you middle name is-- I know, I already know that but I want the whole story of how your parents named you. And what your favorite colour is. Stupid domestic shit is what I want! I want to be able to kiss you and hold you and-- and… and sleep with you without being afraid that someone will use that against us!” she ranted, words uncontrollably rolling off her tongue.

“There are things we can’t do, you know this. There are things I have to do alone--”

Sobs left Rosa’s throat, her hand coming to fist his shirt. “This is not only your burden to bear! We’re supposed to be-- be warriors together!” His hand swiped her tears away gently. “You left me alone! I can’t-- Draco-- I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” No matter how many times she said it, both of them knew her words to be lies. She crashed her head against his chest. “I hate you, you son of a bitch” she kept on mumbling.

Draco let his arms curl around her. “My day was garbage. Um… in the dream… He was torturing you, your screaming…--” he shook his head, not wanting to go there. “I freaked out. I came here to do something… because if I’m successful, that won’t happen” he took a deep breath.

“Stupid. Stupid, stupid” Rosa just mumbled to his chest.

“My amortentia smells like apples, the potions lab, brooms and a certain Gryffindor’s perfume. Um… my parents named me after the Dragon constellation, it’s a Black family tradition and my Father wanted to be a dragon tamer in his youth. My middle name, Lucius as you know, is a Malfoy tradition; the middle name is the name of the father. Pure throughout generations and the name being a reminder of that and all that. My favorite colour is emerald. Not like Slytherin green, but like your eyes green” Rosa kept crying to his chest, but she did manage to listen and hang onto every single word he said. “And I’m sorry. For not showing up on Valentine’s” Rosa mumbled something that sounded dangerously alike to “dick move, you bastard”.

“I’m sorry, Rosa Dawn” he said again. Rosa huffed. “My promises stand. I will not leave you alone. Even when I stand you up, or don’t show up for whatever reason, I will not leave you alone” his promise hung in the air. “You forget that you’re the only one in my life too”

“Promises go both ways” Rosa mumbled.

“Promises go both ways” Draco agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading as always. I'm so excited to write the next chapter, though I am moving next week so I will try my hardest to find time to post on time. ALSO I'M DONE WITH SCHOOL, SUMMER HOLIDAYS EYYY!!
> 
> Let me know what you thought of this chapter, leave a comment/bookmark/kudos or just have a wonderful day!


	47. Sectumsempra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BEEN A MINUTE! 2 weeks I think. Apologies for that, I moved house and came home for the summer, whilst having some family stuff going on PLUS I really was hyping myself up for this chapter. Sectumsempra is one of my absolute favorite scenes in the whole Harry Potter series, thus I took a little pressure on myself when writing this. I think now it's where I want it to be. 
> 
> Also just wanted to mention that this fic just hit 200 kudos and +3000 hits which is like bloody awesome so thank you to everyone who's been reading this!! Love yall!

Weeks after Ron Weasley was poisoned, no one still knew who had done it. Since Rosa wasn’t spending her nights with Draco, Potter managed to shoot her a glare everytime their paths crossed in the Common Room. Rosa refused to let those looks intimidate her, though sometimes a speck of guilt managed to go through her whenever the scarhead was there together with the redhead in question.

Her and Draco were having a slump, successfully ignoring each other. They shared some study time in Draco’s quarters, but kept to themselves mostly. Rosa was still hung up on Valentine’s Day, but the trust had started to build up slowly; since then whenever they they made plans he showed up 5 minutes early. 

There was something wrong with him. It became more and more noticeable as the term went on. Rosa had to remind him to eat at least once a week just to keep him from looking like the dead-Draco that haunted her dreams. She knew that he kept himself busy with homework and whatever he had going on in the Room of Requirement. Draco wondered when she’d learn to stop asking; currently it looked like the answer to that was ‘never’.

Occlumency lessons was still going on, Snape had deemed her theory of ‘acting memories’ inconclusive. Draco had managed to show the memory to Snape without struggle, but it wasn’t enough to mask his feelings. They would have to work on it. It seemed like everything was something that they had to work on. Nothing just wanted to work like it was supposed to.

 

Once more Rosa was sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table, eating pasta for dinner. I was the beginning of March, and she had to wonder what would happen on her 17th birthday. Her thoughts were interrupted when she saw Draco, in between the tables, pale as a sheet.

Rosa followed his line of vision, noting that Katie Bell had come back and talking with Potter. Now, Ron Weasley’s poisoning aside, Rosa knew for a fact that Draco was responsible for the attack on the ex-Chaser. After a few moments of just staring at the Gryffindor girl, he did a hasty u-turn and walked straight out of the Hall.

Rosa turned back to her oatmeal. In her mind, she wondered if it was cruel not to follow him. It was his guilt, his mission, one that he refused to share. At the same time he was hurt, and somehow it felt like she was responsible to console him. She was ‘the girlfriend’ after all, though Rosa hated how distant that word sounded now.

She lo-- cared for Draco deeply. She wanted to sleep next to him, she wanted to be with him. But he was so far away, hiding somewhere she couldn’t find. Rosa knew why, but wanted to tear that wall down nevertheless. He was her everything. He took care of her, even today when their relationship was growing hard to manage. And he started sharing more stories, slowly but they had meaning. 

Rosa had learnt how Draco’s great grandfather had tamed a dragon just so that he could get one of its teeth himself; on a dare. The story was the reason why Lucius wanted in his youth to become a dragon tamer and why Draco was named the way he was. Draco told her about his summers in the Manor, how he had wanted to teach Dobby the house elf how to fly because it got so lonely sometimes. 

In turn Rosa had kept quiet. Loving the way this felt, their storytime sessions, the openness. Perhaps she was scared knowing that tomorrow Draco would go back to his distant self, not even giving her a curt nod as they walked past each other in the halls.

Rosa was just walking about after breakfast, unconsciously making her way to the Room of Requirement where she thought Draco might be moping. Even if they were in a rough patch, she would know when he was upset. She had come to the conclusion that they would have to talk, and she would have to forgive him for the Valentine’s ordeal. It had been long enough. It was time for her to fall asleep in his arms again.

She turned the corner to the seventh floor corridor when she heard a loud noise, like something wooden being broken by force, coming out of the girls’ lavatory. Her brows furrowed in confusion as more loud bangs were coming out of the toilets. Puking Pastilles weren’t that strong were they?

Maybe it was curiosity, maybe it was the Gryffindor in her wanting to help, Rosa walked over to the toilets and pushed the door open. The first thing she noticed was the water on the floor. The second thing was the blood. 

Her breath hitched slightly as she followed the flow of the water, right to its source. 

Rosa ceased to exist in that moment. All of her blood drained from her face.

Draco,  _ her Draco _ , was laying on his back sobbing in pain. His white shirt was stained crimson, Rosa couldn’t tell how many gashes had cut into him. Standing over him, his wand still in his hand stood Harry Potter. 

It had been three seconds since she had stepped into the room, and finally she felt as if her frozen state was freed. It took all of her willpower not to kill the scarhead who was just watching the blonde dying.

“GET HELP YOU BUMBLING IDIOT!” Rosa screeched, getting her own wand out. She let out a scream as she ran and dropped to her knees next to Draco. “No, no, no, no, no” Her eyes were obscured by an endless stream of tears; she had no idea how to even try and heal Draco’s wounds.

“ _E-Episkey!_ _Ana-- Anapneo!_ Fuck Draco, I don’t know what to do!” she cried, her spells doing absolutely nothing about his wounds. She looked behind her, noting that Potter had gone, had listened to her words. “ _EPISKEY! WORK YOU FUCKING-- EPISKEY!”_ She dragged Draco onto her lap, cradling him.

“R-Rosa Da-Dawn” his eyes were now half lidded, the colour of life leaving his skin.

“No, no, Draco, please don’t talk! You promised not to leave me, please Draco, just stay awake for me, please!” Rosa’s hands were at his face, cupping his cheeks gently, her body moving back and forth, completely helpless.

She watched as blood streamed out of his wounds, his breathing matching hers, erratic and terrified. Rosa tried going through the list of healing spells she knew, her mind completely blank other than the two she had already tried. 

In her muggle attempt, she moved Draco out of her lap and pressed her hands onto his wounds. She knew there were more than two, but she didn’t have another option. Draco groaned at her attempt to slow down the bleeding. “I know, I know it hurts, but you just-- please Draco” 

“It’s okay” Draco croaked, still sobbing. 

“No, please--”

“I-it’s o--” his voice died in the middle of his words.

“Draco look at me, stay awake, Draco!” Rosa could see he was fighting it, but slowly losing the battle. “ _ Episkey! Episkey! EPISKEY!”  _ she roared, hearing one of the mirrors on the wall bursting into pieces from the explosion of her magic. “Don’t you dare die-- I can’t do this without you” 

His eyelids closed dangerously, “No Draco! Look at me, stay with me please, I love you” those three words left her throat easily and captured his attention. “I love you and not in the just-friends way either. I love you. I love you, you can’t leave me Draco” Rosa could see a fleeting smirk on his face. “No. No. No, please” his eyes closed. “ _ Anapneo! Episkey!  _ Don’t you dare leave me Draco Malfoy! SOMEONE HELP! PLEASE! HELP! Draco I’m sorry, please stay with me, I love you” 

Rosa heard the door opening, her face turning hopefully to see the greasy haired Professor stomping in.

“Please, Prof--”   


“Out of my way” Rosa immediately moved her body, only to take Draco’s hand and squeeze it. She didn’t feel a heartbeat through it. Snape had his wand out, and Rosa watched as the blood on the floor, mixed in the water slowly made its way back to Draco. His shirt stayed red, but life appeared on his skin again. Rosa saw his chest moving steadily. 

“I must take him to the Hospital Wing” Snape excluded Rosa from that trip. 

Rosa’s hands shook, looking at Draco. “I’m losing control”

“Count to 60. The area will be clear then. Only then do you have clearance to burst out. Is that clear?”

“Is he-- Is he going to--”   


“He’ll survive” Draco’s limp body was already hovering in the air as the words left the potion’s professor’s mouth.   


Rosa started counting immediately when she heard the door close. Her body was shaking, in fear and in bloodthirst. She didn’t see anything but red, her robes, hands and face soaked in Draco’s blood, mixed with all the water spraying out of faucets to the floor. She was hyperventilating, just staring at the wall. 

_ Draco’s not dead. _

_ Draco’s not dead. _

_ Draco’s not dead. _

She repeated that like a mantra in her head, until she came to the number 59. She let out a deafening scream, all her memories of abuse of blood floating to the surface. She vaguely heard the mirrors and windows exploding around her, not feeling the sting as one of the shards sliced her cheek. She let her magic flow, destroying everything in its way as she cried. 

She screamed, let her control down completely, for ten minutes until her voice was hoarse and her throat aching. Her breathing was still hard and rough, but she had gained some control over it. Now she was breathing slowly, images of Draco bleeding on the floor swimming in her mind. 

_ Potter. _

Her mind spat out the name. The hatred in her mind exploded and this time she truly did want to kill the boy. He tried to kill Draco. That was enough a reason for the boy to end up dead in Rosa’s hands. 

Her mask on, her ears picked up the creaking of the door behind her. She looked like a mess, whoever walked in would see that much. 

The toilet was in shatters, all mirrors and windows broken, faucets spraying water all over the place, the wooden stalls in big pieces littered about. Rosa, in the middle, wet and covered in tears and blood.

“You broke all the windows on this floor” It was Professor Snape. How long had it been? “We must learn how to control--”   


“Is he alive?” Rosa asked, whispering.

“Yes” 

A relieved exhale left her throat, her heartbeat steadying. 

“Flashbacks?”   


“Too many” Rosa answered honestly. 

“Professor McGonagall is outside ready to escort you to the Gryffindor Common Room.

“I don’t need a chaperone”   


“Mis-- Rosa. You practically destroyed the whole of this floor. Even the paintings are scared of you right now. You need someone to make sure you won’t go into shock”   


“Why can’t you?”   


“I cannot go into the Gryffindor tower” 

Reluctantly, Rosa stood up and turned to face the teacher. Her face was neutral, but the spark in her eyes was gone. She looked like something was sucked out of her. “Can I see him?” 

“Not today. Tomorrow” Snape answered.

“I’m going to kill Potter” Rosa stated.

“No, you’re not”

“I am”

“Rosa” Snape’s hand came to hold her shoulder in support. “You’re not, and you know it” Another tear left Rosa’s eye. 

“I-- I want Draco” she said, pathetically. 

“Tomorrow” Snape promised. 

The gasp that left McGonagall’s throat did not go unnoticed when Rosa stepped out of the toilet. Making sure to keep her distance, they walked silently to the Common Room. The teacher muttered the password to the Fat Lady.

“Miss Dawn, will you be alright from this point on?” 

“Yes” Rosa whispered, sounding utterly exhausted. McGonagall nodded, and gestured for her to go. What Rosa needed now was a shower and sleep. Well, sleep wouldn’t come, but shower at least she could manage. 

The talking stopped immediately when she stepped through the alcove. It was to be expected, she did look a state. The Common Room was mainly empty, people still at dinner.  Her eyes moved to the fireplace, finding a guilty looking Potter being consoled by the other halfs of the Trio and Ginerva. The youngest Weasley nudged the raven haired boy who turned to look at Rosa. 

Slowly, Rosa walked over to him, making sure not to reach for her wand; a task that ended up being way more difficult than she expected. 

“Eye for an eye?” she asked with her hoarse voice sounding tired rather than at all intimidating.

“Dawn, I didn’t know what the spell would do--”   


“Yet you cast it” she cut him off. She felt her magic pricking her finger put kept it back, instead she tried to focus on the anger within her.

“Rosa, you should clean yourself up” Granger stood up, looking at her.

Rosa swallowed roughly. “If you ever, even look at him again I will kill you, Potter. The only reason I haven’t already is because I thought it would be too cruel after Sirius” a small growl left the boy’s mouth when she mentioned his godfather. Rosa hated the way she spoke but if she would keep herself from killing the Chosen One, she could at least be hurtful. It was her very intention to hurt him as deeply as she could, no matter how disgusting the words felt on her tongue. “If you want to hurt me go ahead and kill me. I don’t give a damn. Don’t go killing my friends”   


“He’s a Death Eater” Weasley accused, trying to make Potter feel a little better. 

Rosa looked at him lazily, a remnants of a glare in her eyes. “You don’t know that”   


“We’ll prove it. Then he had a good reason to… you know…” That sparked fury within her. He had the Mark, sure, but that alone wasn’t a good enough reason for him to die. He hadn't done anything! Rosa on the other hand.... 

Angrily, Rosa whipped her left hand’s sleeve up exposing the Mark to them. They gasped, eyes wide, staring at her. It was as if time slowed down for them, whilst it was going double speed for Rosa. A gnawing voice in the bad of her head was screaming at her, asking how could she expose herself so stupidly, show that ugly Mark to anyone else other than Draco. She did her best to ignore it.

“Kill me then. Go ahead. You have proof” an involuntary tear left her eye as all the pain flooded back in. “ _ KILL ME THEN! _ ” she shouted at them. No one moved. “COME ON POTTER! WHIP OUT YOUR WAND AND KILL ME” she roared, hearing a window break behind them. No one else seemed to notice, too frozen from the shock. 

“Remus will be heartbroken” Granger just stated, staring at the black brand on Rosa’s arm. Rosa felt a pang in her heart, but ignored it. She had taken it to keep these people safe, currently she found herself regretting that decision.

“Potter. Just know. My curse managed to do its job. Dr-- Malfoy will survive. And if you even try…--” Rosa shook her head. “You’ll end up saying hi to Sirius in a fucking heartbeat” 

Potter stood up in anger, Rosa didn’t even flinch. Granger grabbed Potter’s arm, holding him back. “Don’t” her eyes were fierce. “We’ll talk about this, don’t send any owls yet” she moved next to Rosa gesturing towards the girl’s dormitory. 

Confused, Rosa just followed the instructions walking up the stairs Granger at her feet. She went for her trunk to find a clean towel. 

“What do you need?” Granger asked waiting in the middle of their shared dorm. Rosa just stared at her, dumbfounded. “What do you need Rosa?” 

“Why do you care?” Rosa whispered, just staring. She had an ulterior motive. There was no way she’d just be kind. No way.

“Because I’m not stupid. Do you think I’d seriously believe that you just marched to You-Know-Who willingly and requested the Mark? Literally no one remembers what you said when you told us that He wanted to recruit you. He’s threatening you isn’t He?” Rosa didn’t answer, Granger nodded in understanding. “Is that why you and Malfoy are so close?” 

“He’s an old childhood friend”  _ who I happened to fall in love with.  _

“What do you need?”

Rosa had a big list in her head, but staring at the curly haired Gryffindor she was hesitant. Granger had betrayed her trust one too many times. “I… I want his blood off of me” 

“Do you need help?” the genuinity in Granger’s voice struck Rosa. 

“I can’t trust you, Granger” 

“I can’t trust you either, Rosa. But… you’re eyes look empty. It’s frightening” she said honestly. Rosa didn’t react to her words, not wanting to show how much they scared her. She moved to go into the shower. Granger went back down, presumably to have a talk with the rest of the Trio she was part of. 

Stripping down and stepping into the showers, Rosa decided that her feet were too tired and sat down. With a quick wave of her hand she let the water start flowing, hitting her. The now dried up blood started to turn into liquid, draining from her body. Rosa desperately rubbed her hands and arms trying to get rid of Draco’s blood.

The image of him came back to her, just dying on the floor, his heartbeat gone. In her gut she trusted Snape’s word that he was alive. Snape wouldn’t lie about that, would he? The thought was like a tumor, spreading in her mind and taking over. 

Standing up, Rosa looked over her body and quickly and roughly scrubbed all the bits that still had blood on them. For a good measure she also tried to scrub off her brand, only managing to make it red and irritated. 

She stepped out, put on a T-shirt and shorts and as quietly as possible made her way down to the Common Room.  Weasley and Granger were still talking somewhat awkwardly, only glancing her way when she sneaked into the alcove. Potter and Ginerva were somewhere, probably snogging. 

Rosa ran faster she had ever done, straight to the Hospital Wing. She didn’t care if she saw the shadow of Mrs. Norris, she’d fucking make it to him. She’d see him breathing. The doors to the ward were closed, and out of experience Rosa knew they’d be locked from the outside. She knocked. 

Couple minutes later, Madam Pomfrey opened the door,  _ Lumos  _ charm illuminating her way. One look at Rosa and the Matron’s expression turned into one of sympathy.

“Please, can I see him?” Rosa wiped away the tear that had dropped the her cheek.

“Oh dear, do you need a calming draught?”    


“Yes, please” Rosa said liking the idea. She was let in and she scanned through the beds. Madam Pomfrey sighed, and pointed at one of the beds where the curtains were drawn. Rosa ran, stepping inside the curtains and saw him breathing, sleeping, alive. 

She sat on the edge of the bed and just looked at him. There was no trace of blood on his skin or clothing; he was wearing the standard striped pyjamas when one is in the Wing. Rosa knew that Draco would complain about the ‘low quality’ of the fabric later. 

She took one of his hands onto hers, just wanting to feel his steady heartbeat against her hand. Madame Pomfrey emerged from behind the curtains.

“Professor Snape told me that it was you who discovered him. He will be alright, dear” she asked as she gave her a vial of calming draught. Rosa nodded and downed the potion. “You should go back to your Common Room, Miss Dawn. Curfew” 

Rosa turned to the witch, tears still in her eyes although the calming draught had left her feeling much better and less anxious. “Could you… maybe… just pretend that I’m not here?” 

“Turn a blind eye? Now, Miss Dawn--”   


“Please. You won’t give me a sleeping draught so I won’t sleep anyway” Rosa pleaded. 

The Matron thought for a while. “I do not like this Miss Dawn. I cannot help you  _ deliberately _ break rules” Rosa caught on.

“How about… I tell you that I’m going to go to my Common Room in five minutes. And you won’t check on Draco for the rest of the night?” 

“Five minutes, Miss Dawn” she said, and left. Rosa turned back to Draco, slightly proud of her sneaky ways. There was a chair that conjured itself next to Draco’s bed. Smiling, Rosa sat on it, still keeping her hand in Draco’s limp one. Her free hand went to stroke his hair, smooth as ever. 

“I love you” she whispered, meaning every word. “I’m so happy you’re alive, Draco. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you more, I really am” she cried silently, just looking at him. “I love you” she whispered to him again. “Get well soon, won’t you? We’ve been asses to each other, we have to work on this. I think I’ve been an ass to pretty much everyone but I can’t stand it when it’s you. I don’t want to be defined by my situation anymore, Draco. I just want to love you” She moved her hand from her hair, to bring it to his hand, holding it with both of them now.

“Mhmm, don’t stop that, Ro” the blonde pouted, still keeping his eyes closed, with his free hand he grabbed her wrist and slopped it back to his hair. 

“Draco? Do I have to get Pomfrey? Are you ok? Any pain? Do you need--”   


“I wanna sleep, you’re being loud” he mumbled, still not opening his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Draco” Rosa apologised, smiling. “Does anything hurt?”

“Only my heart”

Rosa’s eyebrows shot up. “What do you need? Please, do you need Pomfrey?”

“No…” 

“Draco?” she questioned, worriedly. 

“I want to kiss you so bad… I’d make you feel so good” Rosa concluded that he must’ve been a tad high on all of the pain potions the Matron had given him and laughed a little bit.

“I have a feeling you’ll regret this in the morning, Draco”

“You should call me Dray. Or babe. Or love. Because I’m your boyfriend and you looove me~” he mumbled happily, shifted slightly, squeezing her hand and trying to get a more comfortable position to  sleep in. “Hmm, I love you too, love. Soooo much” She couldn’t do anything but giggle, this surely was not the way she expected Draco to say those words to her for the first time. He was acting so out of character. “Can I sleep now, love? Do I need to stay with you? I won’t leave you ever. Never, ever, ever, because I love you so much”

“You can sleep, Dray” Rosa smiled, starting to stroke his hair again.    


“I’ll dream of you, love” he promised, before his pout disappeared and sleep took over his body once more. Suddenly Rosa didn’t care that her life would be shattered tomorrow, that her Death Eater status would be common knowledge. It didn’t matter, because right now, everything was perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh there it is by baby. I got the high-Draco idea mid-this week and just had to add it, and now I just want him to be high all the time. I'm hoping to get my uploads on time again (once a week).   
> Thank you for reading as always!!
> 
> Leave a comment/kudos/bookmark or just have a bloody awesome day! Thanks for the support!


	48. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ON TIME PEOPLE!  
> someone call the history books.  
> AND this one is 9 pages long AND a certain person I started to miss makes a little comeback.

Rosa barely blinked that night, making sure that Draco was breathing normally throughout the night. Only once during the 8 or so hours she sat by his side, did he let out a small whimper. Rosa had helped him adjust his position, silently fistbumping the air when he hadn’t woken up. 

When she heard the clock chiming 6 o’clock in the morning and Madam Pomfrey starting her morning checks, Rosa knew she would have to sneak out to get some breakfast for herself. 

She leaned over Draco. “I don’t know when I’ll be back… Don’t do anything dumb while I’m gone alright? I love you” she whispered to him, before straightening herself out and sneaking out from the curtains that provided them privacy for the night. 

“Miss Dawn?” Madam Pomfrey acted as if she was surprised that Rosa was there. The Gryffindor gave the Matron a curt nod, taking a couple of steps to leave the Wing. “5 points from Gryffindor. And Professor McGonagall wants to see you” Rosa groaned in annoyance, but nodded in signaling that she’d follow her Househeads instructions. “In Dumbledore’s office” 

“Shit” Rosa swore under her breath. 

 

She had never felt so intimidated by the golden gargoyle. She didn’t even need to say a password, she didn’t need to even stop moving. She took a deep breath before opening one of the double doors and stepping into the office. 

A big bloody gasp left her mouth when she was met with the eyes of literally every core member of the Order. Molly, Arthur, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Kingsley, The two elder Weasley kids, Fleur, Mad-Eye, Tonks. And Remus. They all looked at her with varying amounts of sadness and disgust. Remus was the only one sitting down, opposite to him an empty chair. Silently she sat on it.

“Rosa…” Remus started, sounding defeated already. “Give me your left arm”  

She knew it was coming, but coming from her Father was like ice poured down her neck. She closed her eyes, hanging her head low. “Rosa, please” Remus begged, already reading into Rosa’s reaction. 

Rosa took another shivering deep breath. Her hand was shaking, but she offered it to Remus, who took a hold of her arm. His hands were shaking too, as he fiddled with her long sleeve.

“Is this necessary?” he looked up at Dumbledore, pleading not to break the image he has of his daughter. It shocked Rosa, as if the fact that she killed Sirius wasn’t enough already for him to hate her. 

“Yes” Rosa answered the question for them. They already knew, there was no hiding it. Dumbledore nodded, a silent way of supporting both Remus and Rosa. 

“Remus” Rosa said his name like a prayer, still clinging to the hope of a family for some reason. Remus waited for her to continue. A tear left her eye, “I… I fucked up” With a shivering breath, Remus’ fingers started peeling back the sleeve, slowly revealing the irritated and black brand. 

“No, Rosa, no” Remus mumbled, disappointment not even beginning to explain the expression on his face. He went on to bury his face into his hands. Rosa quickly covered the Mark up, not wanting people to stare at it. “Who did this to you?” Remus asked, flabbergasted. 

The was a bile in her throat, filled with shame. No matter her reasons for taking the Mark, it was still such a disgusting thing to have etched onto one’s skin.

“Voldemort” she answered.

“When?” it occurred to Rosa that prior to her stepping into the room, there seemed to be an agreement that Remus was the one going through with each and every question. No one else had uttered a single word, they were more like passive onlookers. 

She cleared her throat, knowing that her answer would hurt. “Christmas” she answered honestly.

“Did you take it voluntarily?” Remus was trying his hardest to keep his neutral face on, but his red rimmed eyes were giving him away. 

“Define voluntarily”   


“You know what the word means, Rosa!” she flinched as he raised his voice, growing agitated. 

“I was… barely conscious. And I didn’t consent to it, but they… they assumed I would happily be a Death Eater because I showed up at the Ball” 

Remus took a deep breath. “Can you confirm that under Veritaserum?” Rosa knew that it made her look bad, but she was to blabber about Draco if she took the potion. It was an easy decision.

“No. I won’t take the potion. You’ll have to just… trust my word” she heard a scoff that sounded like it came from Mad-Eye.

“What happened at the Ball?” Remus continued the interrogation.

“They tested my ability” she looked up at Remus, who among with everyone else was expecting some elaboration. “They put me under five Cruciatus’. I… I passed out, and He Marked me”   

“Why did he stop at five?” Remus glared at Mad-Eye when he broke their agreement by butting in. “Why not kill you then and there? Would’ve made our lives a bit easier” he ignored the werewolf’s stare. Just like her Father, Rosa glared at the one eyed man with hatred. 

Without a warning, in a solid second, Mad-Eye was on the ground screaming in pain. His body was convulsing in ways it shouldn’t; his arm turning unnaturally to the opposite side of his joints, bones cracking painfully.

Rosa sat there, watching what she was doing. She hadn’t even given her magic permission to attack and she had no idea how to stop it. She felt like there was a voice within her screaming to kill the ex-Auror, and for some reason her magic was agreeing.

“Rosa, stop” Remus’ voice was the only thing her ears decided to pick up. “Rosa. Come back. Now” his tone was commanding, the pleading tone long gone. 

There was a jinx that hit her side, she felt it but it didn’t help the situation at all; a lot of people had their wands out but were scared of hitting her with anything stronger than a stinging jinx. Not that anything stronger would’ve worked either. 

She was screaming. Not sure if she was doing it out loud or not, but she knew somewhere she was screaming. The magic had taken control, like it had yesterday in the toilets. Only now it wanted to kill. It was as if someone was just using her as a vessel to do their bidding. It hit Rosa hard, that this was exactly what Voldemort wanted her to become.

The thought, the knowledge of that strook so much fear within her, that she retracted her magic. Moody had stopped his writhing and screaming, and just laid in a pool of his own sweat. Rosa hated the view. 

“Bucket” she managed to whisper. The item she requested was next to her in a flash, and in another, yesterday’s dinner was in it. She was on her knees on the floor, shaking, vomiting, crying from the pain that the magic had managed to edge through her. 

She felt Remus’ fingers taking her hair, pulling it back into a ponytail held together by his other hand. “Let it all out, Rosa” 

“No, stop-- you-- you hate me” she cried looking like she had yesterday only this time she wasn’t covered in Draco’s blood. She banished the image out of her head. 

“Miss Dawn” it was Dumbledore this time who butted in. “Whose side are you on?” 

“I don’t want a side!” she shouted, surprising many of the room’s occupants. Mad-Eye was now sitting down, being helped by Molly. Rosa noticed that some people still had their wands pointed at her.

“Miss Dawn, Voldemort has branded you. That means you have a side. But you can change that” 

Rosa glared at the Headmaster, feeling the bloodlust of her magic once more. She had to look away, the vein in her neck straining from the attempt to control herself. Thank god this didn’t happen with Potter yesterday; he’d be buried on the grounds by now if that had happened. 

“Why is it that you chose to go to that Ball, Miss Dawn?” Dumbledore asked. 

Rosa swallowed. She would have to keep Draco a secret. She couldn’t condemn him too. “I… You see…” she cleared her throat trying to come up with a logical excuse on the spot. 

“What one does for love…” Dumbledore stated, locking eyes with the young Gryffindor. 

Rosa looked around at the puzzled expressions that were directed towards her. “I-- I have no idea what you’re talking about”   
Rosa could see when a lightbulb went off in Remus’ head. “There’s a boy. That boy you talked of during Christmas” Remus thought out loud, putting the puzzle pieces together.

“No! Remus, no, that’s completely different!” she raised her volume, sounding a little desperate.

“Who is the boy then, Rosa?” Tonks asked, still looking calm despite everything that happened. 

Rosa showered through her mind, wondering and thinking, looking for an answer she could give. The most trustworthy Gryffindor. She swallowed. “Neville Longbottom” Eyebrows rose, all but Dumbledore’s. His eyes twinkled and Rosa knew that he didn’t believe her. “It has nothing to do with the Ball. We broke it off anyway”

“Why then?” Dumbledore pressed.

Remus shifted in his seat. “During Easter you said You-Know-Who was threatening some people…” he was on Rosa’s side, trying so desperately to make her look better. 

“It’s part of it”  _ like most of it.  _

“You know all of us, the Order members, are safe? He can’t touch us” 

Rosa dared to scoff. “Yet I almost just killed Moody” Rosa lifted her body up to sit back down on the chair again. “You don’t know what He’s capable of” 

“What is that exactly?” Mad-Eye asked, voice weak and ashy, as if he had been smoking muggle cigarettes for 50 years.

“If he wanted you dead, you would be” 

“And how do you think He’d do that?” 

She bowed her head in shame. “Me” 

That silenced the room.

“I thought you joined for our protection” 

Rosa kept her eyes on the floor. “What is your life, or mine, compared to my own Father’s?” she felt a tear hitting her cheek. It was brutal honesty. “Absolutely nothing” she answered her own question. 

“Rosa. Look at me” It was Remus, looking absolutely shattered. “I am not worth your sacrifice” 

“That’s where we disagree” the whisper echoed through the large office. “I’ll be his killing machine if He so wishes”   


“Why?!” to everyone’s surprise, it was Molly who let out the exclamation. 

“Because if I fail you are my punishment. There’s no running away or switching sides in this, nothing matters. You can take me to Azkaban if you want to” 

Dumbledore corrected his posture. “Are there any other students that He has recruited?”   


“No” Rosa knew that the Headmaster would see through her lie.

“Does He want to?”   


“Yes”

“Who?”

“You know the names, Professor” the answer seemed to satisfy him.

“Why are you lying for him, Rosa?” it seemed that only Rosa and Dumbledore understood the person behind the ‘him’, because ‘him’ sure as hell wasn’t Voldemort.

“You know why” 

“What one does for love” he repeated. Rosa nodded. No one else seemed to understand the meaning behind those words.

A silent moment passed.

“What happens now?” Rosa asked, worried.

The twinkle in Dumbledore’s eye disappeared. “Your Father asks you why you killed Sirius”

Another bucket of ice down Rosa’s neck. She shook her head, “Don’t ask me that” she requested. 

“Did He order you to?” Remus asked anyway. 

“No” she answered. “Don’t ask about it, please, Remus” 

“Was it an accident?”

“No” she kept the honesty. “Stop” 

“Did you--”   
Rosa stood up, done with all of this. She turned to Dumbledore. “Are you throwing me into Azkaban?” 

“No. We won’t be doing that today. There is someone within these walls that needs you” Rosa nodded, trying to ignore what he was insinuating. She moved towards the door, but before pushing it open, she turned to her Father. “A word, Remus?” with that she walked down the stairs that the golden Gargoyle had shown her.

She managed to get three steps forward to the hallway before Remus grabbed her arm and turned her around. Rosa couldn’t look at him. 

“Why did you kill Sirius, Rosa?” 

“Stop asking me!” Rosa cried, finding that her chest was constricting painfully. “I’m a fucking monster, how is that not enough for you?!” 

Suddenly, Remus’ arms were around her holding her close, as if his embrace could keep her safe from all of this shit. Rosa just sobbed, crying limply against him. 

“You really fucked up, Rosa. But there is no way you go killing someone without a good reason. Whether or not you tell me that or not… I’ll just have to believe that there is still good in you” he whispered to her. 

“You know I’ll just disappoint you again” 

“I don’t doubt that, sweetheart. That brand… I will never understand why you would condemn yourself like that”

Rosa pushed him off of her. “I… Tell me. Where would I be if I wasn’t your daughter?”   


“What?”   


“If I was a Slytherin, under the same conditions, got the Mark exactly because of… coercion… would I be here or would I be in Azkaban?” Remus’ eyebrows came together in slight confusion and he was unable to give her an answer. “Then why am I given so much leeway? I fucking killed  person, I almost killed Moody  _ in front of you all _ ! And still you want me on your side? I don’t understand… why-- you-- fucking hell! If I was someone like- like Malfoy you would’ve given me the Kiss by now! Why do they not deserve the same amount of protection? Having the Mark alone is illegal! What the fuck do you think there is left saving in me?!” Rosa took a much needed breath. “And you! Lying to me about leaving Tonks! I’m not your pawn! I’m not yours to make a fucking war strategy out of! I’m not your fucking weapon! I’m your fucking daughter, though I don’t even know if I am that anymore, I’m pretty fucking sure you’re disowning me--”   


“I’m not disowning you”   


“Then what?! What am I?! Why do you always show up only when it’s beneficial to you?! Only when I’m in the brink of fucking death just to make sure that you still ‘love me’ or whatever other bullshite you shove down my throat that I’m stupid enough to believe because I still want to be a part of a fucking family! You don’t do that for me, you do that so you don’t need to feel bad about yourself because you abandoned me as a child- abandoned me with that- that-- fuck-- or- or so that you can say that you at least tried and that I was the difficult one and you can live with that when I fucking drop dead because let’s be honest I’m not surviving through this bloody war!”  it felt like she was releasing months worth of thoughts, just letting them hang in the air, ranting them out. She hadn’t noticed the tears on her cheeks or the ugly sobs that left her throat. She focused on the feeling, the absolute pain and confusion and frustration that she kept nestled inside of her. 

“Rosa--”   


“I don’t want to die, Remus” she shook her head, again refusing to look at him deciding that her tantrum was done. “But what else is there for me?”  _ Draco. But I’d die for him happily. _

“I promised that I wouldn’t let that happen” Remus took a step towards her, taking her hand rather than hugging the shit out of her like he wanted. Baby steps. “We’ll keep you safe. You have the privilege of being my daughter and sure, that’s not fair to the others, but I don’t really care for the others, Rosa. You won’t die” 

Rosa scoffed sadly, not believing his words. “I trusted one Gryffindor before. Twice. She broke the trust twice. The Slytherin who I’m putting my trust on right now has disappointed me, but has never broken my trust. I can’t trust your word anymore, Remus” 

“You know, you called me ‘Dad’ during the Holidays. We had such perfect two weeks. What happened to that, Rosa?” 

“I wanted it to be perfect. I called you a good Father because if I was raised with you, you really would’ve been that. But I was not, was I? I… I knew what would happen when I came to yours during Christmas. I wanted it to be perfect because I knew that you would never look at me the same after that. And then you bastards had to welcome me to the family and I… I knew I had to go because the cost of not going was too grave” 

“I’m sorry--”   


“Don’t apologize when you don’t mean it, Remus” 

Remus squeezed her hand a little tighter, Rosa could feel his frustration. “Why do you think I don’t mean it, Rosa? You know that I’ve been a horrible Father to you and I hate it! I was scared and a coward, you know this. But not once have I doubted the love I have for you. Not even when you told me about Sirius. Because I know that Sirius… he knows why you did it and he’d say you did what you had to...--” Remus cut himself off, not able to finish the sentence.

“You don’t even believe the words you’re trying to convince yourself of”   


“I have to believe something, don’t I? I can’t believe that my daughter is a ruthless killer” 

Rosa let out a sigh. “Maybe you should” she wiggled her hand out of Remus’ hold.

“Don’t walk away from me, Rosa”    


“Remus… this--” she gestured between herself and him “--is never going to work the way you want to. I say you go and… marry Tonks and start a family, and do it better. I’m not… This is too confusing, I don’t even understand myself half the time and… I can’t let myself trust you again” 

Remus swallowed roughly but nodded. “I will not strike you on the battlefield. And neither will anyone on our side. We’ll keep you safe, no matter how much you hate it. We will not let you die, if you die before I do, Rosa, I will kill you in the afterlife, you won’t break my heart like that. We will keep an eye on you, and if there’s a reason to believe…-- we will withdraw you from school and lock you into a safehouse. We will not leave you, because you’re family, Rosa. I’m sorry but I have to wonder if the other side would do the same” 

“I have to wonder how many of those promises you all will break” she started taking steps back. 

“I love you. Please eat a little more. If they’re torturing you… you should eat more. You’re getting too thin again. You need the extra weight in a duel” 

Rosa turned her back to him there and walked to the nearest toilet to have a good cry until all her tears were spent. Until she was just exhausted.

 

Two hours passed, Rosa had gone to the kitchens for some breakfast. It was a Saturday, no need to come up with excuses as to why she wasn’t in classes. She sat on the table next to the countless of stoves and ovens, all the elves bustling and working like any other day. 

“Is missus alright? Dobby can make hot chocolate for Rosa Dawn!” 

“I’m alright, Dobby. Though… is there anything you could make that would be ideal for someone who has just lost a lot of blood? Or-- or was injured not too long ago?” 

“Dobby will find something for Miss Rosa’s injured friend!” Rosa managed a thankful smile.

Not five minutes later, Dobby gave Rosa a container of some kind of soup and a small container of unsalted cashews. With the goods in her hands, Rosa decided it was time to go back to Draco. Maybe he was awake, it was getting near to noon already.

 

He was awake, a book open in his hands, reading it with focus in his eyes. He didn’t seem too interested, he had the look that Rosa knew to be the ‘I’m bored but trying to focus on this stupid thing - Draco Malfoy edition’ on his face. 

“Knock, knock” she said with a gentle tone when she stepped through the curtains. There was an immediate smile on Draco’s lips, though it faded after a moment of looking at her. 

“Why are you upset?” he asked, grimacing a little as he sat up more. Rosa ignored the question and sat down on the hair she had spent the day in and shoved the containers of food into his hands. 

“Any pain?” 

“A little. Rosa, why were you crying?” he sounded almost disappointed that she hadn’t answered the question.

“It’s allergies. Eat, please”

“Bullshit, Ro--”   


“Did you sleep well?” her voice broke, this time the look in Rosa’s eyes was practically pitiful. There were tears ready to drop again, just wanting a domestic moment rather than thinking back to the angry morning she had had. She wanted to go back to those perfect moments they shared last night. 

Draco nodded, taking her hand, supporting her even though he was the one bound to a bloody hospital bed. “Yeah, Pomfrey had me sedated pretty good” 

Rosa kept quiet, only for Draco to take her hand and lacing their fingers. With his free hand, Draco put the food onto the night table, and moved to the side of his bed with another groan.    


“Draco--” he cut her off by patting the spot next to him. With an amused roll of her eyes she shimmied her way to his side. “You really should eat” Rosa said, looking at him with concern laced through her eyes. 

“I love you too” he whispered, letting the words hang in the air. He clearly didn’t remember saying those words yesterday. It was difficult to smile after everything that had happened in the morning, so she just leaned into him, trying to be careful not to hurt him. 

She sniffled, “You told me yesterday. You were a bit… out of it, but you told me” 

“Rosa Dawn” Rosa turned slightly to look at him properly. Before she could say anything in return, she felt Draco’s lips against hers. She gasped loudly before melting against him, returning the affection. They took it slow, lips against lips, gently moving against each other. Draco brought his hand to her cheek, wiping away tears that Rosa didn’t know were there. It was perfect. 

When they parted, Rosa leaned forward craving more of his touch. “I love you” she didn’t open her eyes, just lingered in her feelings. She received another small peck on her lips from him. “I thought we weren’t allowed to do that”

“I don’t care” he said, still caressing her cheek. “I don’t care if I die for this. I love you. We’ll make a bunch of fake memories and I’ll keep this safe. Cross my heart”

Finally Rosa opened her eyes. “The Order of the Phoenix knows that I have the Mark” she finally told him the news. “I… I was angry at Potter for doing this to you, saying that you were a Death Eater--”   


“Rosa. I am one”   


“But they don’t know that for sure! And it is no grounds to kill you and… I got angry and… told them that they didn’t have proof of you so now they have proof of me, so they should kill me instead” A tired sigh left Draco’s mouth. “I didn’t say it was a good idea! I was covered in your-- your blood and they were insinuating that you should’ve died--”

“Breathe. I’m okay. What happened today?”    


“I was called into Dumbledore’s office. I managed to almost kill Moody, have a really long talk with my Dad…”

“Did they offer you immunity?”    


“They want me to change sides--”   


“You should” Rosa had to shift slightly to really look at him; he sounded awfully unsarcastic and so did his expression. “I’m serious. It would keep you safer” 

“I won’t”

He let out a tired sigh. “I know, Rosa Dawn”

Rosa closed her eyes and let her head fa to his shoulder, letting the silence take over. Draco intertwined their fingers once more. “I love you”

“Love you too” they both closed their eyes, just relishing the moment of being able to express their love in each others arms. 

 

 

“Draco?” 

“Mmhm?”

“Would you cut my hair?”

In the next Charms class, Rosa walked in with her hair cut (jaggedly) at her chin. Draco was the only one regretting saying ‘yes’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> As always, please leave a comment/kudos/bookmark I JUST FOUND OUT that there's this thing called a subscription on AO3 and this fic has over 50 (?!!!) so you can do that too if you so wish. If not, thanks for reading anyways and have a greattt day!
> 
> ADDING IN A LITTLE NOTE HERE:  
> I’m having some shit going on in my personal life rn, so it’ll be about another 2 weeks before the next chapter comes out. I’m sorry and I hope you won’t think that I’m abandoning this story because i most definitely am not. So please be patient with me!


	49. Calm Before The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!   
> It's been exactly 2 months since my last upload, and I am really sorry! I'm currently recovering from bulimia so it's been a little difficult lately, thus the lack in uploading. BUT I'M BACK!
> 
> This chapter is mostly filler, but I did have fun writing again. AND with this chapter finally exceeds 300 pages!!! Hope you like it!

Rosa hated this. Hated this with a passion. She’d take a beating from her Mother and be sent to St. Mungo’s rather than this. 

It had been a month since Potter had attacked Draco. Draco got out of the Hospital Wing two and a half weeks ago and since then Rosa had kept a watchful eye on him. She didn’t care if it seemed like she was being clingy, and sure she wasn’t able to stay by his side in public, but for her own mental health she had to. 

Every day when she’d close her eyes to sleep, her mind would fill up with the images of Draco on the toilet floor, bleeding out. Only in those images, Professor Snape never showed up and he died in her arms. It was the same scene, every single night. Draco hadn’t minded when Rosa had demanded to sleep next to him each night, hoping that it would ease her; feeling his heartbeat as she slept. It didn’t. 

Instead of waking up with a scream as it was usual for her nightmares, her own body just forced her eyes open, often just to let the tears fall properly. Draco had no idea, he could have a good night’s sleep whilst Rosa made sure that his heart was definitely beating normally after her nightmare. 

This morning though, although it was more like night since it was 2 am, she was done. She wiggled out of Draco’s hold, desperately trying not to wake him up. He didn’t need to know about the nightmares, it isn’t like he could do anything about them. Rosa, on the other hand, knew someone who could. 

But she hated the idea, but the tears didn’t go away, the images didn’t stop flashing behind her eyes. So, she knocked. 

There was no answer.

She knocked harder. 

Professor Snape opened the door, looking absolutely furious. Not many people knew where his personal quarters were, Rosa and Draco being one of the few. He seemed to have quickly put on his teaching robes over whatever pyjamas he would be wearing underneath. 

“Please. Just three drops. Please” she begged. Snape sighed, frustrated, and let her into his quarters. Rosa sat comfortably on his small dining table, waiting for him to speak. 

“Miss Dawn--”   


“I can’t keep on watching him die” she whispered sadly. 

“You are addicted--”

“This is different. And it’s not like last time the addiction did anything bad, what’s wrong with me just wanting to sleep?” 

“I fail to see the difference between today and last time. You barged into an Order meeting, this time you barge into my personal quarters at god knows what time--”   


“Because before it was me getting hurt. I would dream about Mum beating me over and over again, her killing someone in front of me. I still get that. But… seeing Draco die… over and over and over, I-- I can’t. I’m seeing the man I love--”   


“You know nothing about love, Miss Dawn”   


Rosa took a moment, her shoulders deflating. “How could I? My Mother never loved me, my Dad… I don’t understand him at all… He practically ‘loves’ me when it’s convenient... I might not know what love is, but what I’m feeling… it feels like what I always thought love to be” Snape nodded in odd agreement. “The point is that I can’t keep on watching him die everytime I close my eyes” 

“And what if I refuse?”   


“Brewing Sleepless Dream is not that difficult, Professor” Rosa said with a defeated smile on her face. “What if I promised to ask for it only today? No more. Just today?” 

“What insurance do I have of you not running here tomorrow night?”   


“You trust me?” 

“I never trust an addict, Miss Dawn”   


Rosa slept well for the rest of the night. 

+++

“What’s your number?” Rosa asked out of the blue.

“Number?” Draco asked, looking up from his Herbology homework. 

Rosa scoffed. “You know, your  _ number.  _ Mine is obviously zero… You’re the kind of guy who would keep count.  Draco placed his quill down completely looking bewildered, having no idea what his girlfriend was talking about. 

“The amount of girls you’ve…  _ you know _ … done it with” 

Right then and there Draco choked on air. “Why in the name of Merlin’s saggy balls would you want to know?” Rosa shrugged.

“I just… do. I’ve had two consensual kisses, with you and… Nott--” Draco let out a small growl, “-- and I mean… we’ve been… snogging some... I just wondered… what you’re expecting from it… when we…  _ consummate _ ”   


“Sex. It’s called sex, please, just call it sex” Rosa could see the tops of his cheeks get a little coloured. “And I’m not expecting anything. If you let me touch you, fine. We’re not ready for sex yet”   


“Oh…” Rosa looked down. “So what’s your number?” 

“12” he answered, scowling. “I didn’t have an emotional connection with any of them”   


“Astoria?”    


“We didn’t sleep together” 

“Pansy?”   


He scoffed. “Please”   


“Okay… so with us… are you… waiting for a reason?”   


“When we’re ready, we’ll do it. Simple as that. I don’t think we are”

“But… you said you would… touch…?” Rosa’s eyes went up to him, curious. Draco stood up from the floor, and sat down next to Rosa on the couch. 

“Straddle me?” the small request went straight to Rosa stomach, making her feel butterflies all over. Slowly and with a reddened face, Rosa did. 

She shot him a questioning glance, as if asking if she was doing it right. Draco took hold of her thighs, adjusting them slightly with a ridiculous smirk on his face.

“Comfy?” he asked, not moving his hands away from her legs. Rosa just nodded, swallowing.

“I’m nervous” she blurted out. 

Draco leaned in to press a sweet kiss to the corner of her mouth. “We won’t be having sex today, Rosa. Just stop me, guide my hands where you want them to be and tell me to stop if you don’t like something” 

Rosa nodded a let him see a small smile. He leaned in, bringing their lips gently together. They linger in the softness, Draco being the first one to break out from it laughing at Rosa’s pouting face. 

“We’ve done more than that before”

Taking that as a dare, Draco brought them together again, only this time harder. He was gentle and tough at the same time, whilst keeping his hands on her legs. Slowly, he swiped his tongue on her lip, being a bloody gentleman. His hand came to her neck, caressing her. A small moan left Rosa’s lips, her finding some of her Gryffindor courage and leading his hand to the side of her chest. Draco parted their lips for a moment.

“It’s okay, I barely feel it anyway” Rosa whispered slightly breathless. Draco touched her gently, even though he was literally groping her. Their lips came together once more, hungrier and a bit needier than before. Draco’s left hand wonders under her shirt on her back. He felt the bumps of scars underneath his fingers. 

Rosa grinded down on him, feeling something underneath. 

“Stop” Draco whispered, but didn’t move away. Rosa froze, opening her eyes. Their foreheads come together, only then Rosa noticing where Draco’s hand was, she didn’t say anything. She moved off of his lap, sitting back on the couch, just staring forward. Draco laced their fingers together.

“I love you” he whispered to her ear, not failing to get a blushed smile out of her. She bit her lips together. “Go on, say it back, love” 

Love.

The term of endearment was one that he hadn’t used before and made Rosa feel all sorts of tingly. “Love you too, Draco” she received a soft kiss on her cheek before he shifted back to the floor.

“Is this how it works?” Rosa said out of the blue, bringing her hand to her mouth cursing herself for her lack of filter sometimes. She was always so guarded around others but with him she seemed to be a bloody open book.

“What do you mean?” Draco asked.

“I mean.. Um… we snog and touch and then just… go back?” Rosa’s thoughts were filled with a ridiculous amount of embarrassment and feeling like an idiot in front of him. Damn him for making her feel like a bloody damsel. 

Draco gave her a smirk. “And what would you want instead?” 

“I don’t know… like… cuddling?” her face was completely red, refusing to even look at him. She felt like the definition of a blushing virgin. 

Draco didn’t seem to mind, forgetting his homework instantly. Quickly his hands were around her, holding her. “If you want to be held, just tell me” 

“Mum never hugged me” 

“I’ll hold you anytime you want, love”

 

That night Draco didn’t sleep what they had dubbed as  _ their  _ quarters, thus sneaking out was much easier than last night. Once more she knocked on the door to Snape quarters only this time at a little more bearable hour. 

The door swooped open just like the night before, Snape scowled a look of disappointment on his face.

“I’m not here for that” Rosa said immediately, not wanting his disappointed glare to look at her any longer than necessary. “I need some ingredients” she explained herself before adding a hasty, 

“Please” 

“And what exactly do you need, Miss Dawn?” 

“Boomslang skin, a sliver of unicorn horn and a good handful of powdered root of asphodel” she listed from the top of her head. 

Snape arched one black eyebrow, “And what exactly do you need a g--?”

“None of your business” Rosa said, before again reminding herself that she needed something from him, “But seriously, could I?” 

“Should I be thankful that you didn’t go stealing?” he spat out, feeling disrespected.

“Well, I didn’t, did I? I could go to Slughorn but he’s… he doesn’t really like me” Snape let out an offended scoff that somehow made Rosa feel a little better. 

“I am not your puppy dog to boss around, Miss Dawn” he warned.

“I know, Professor” 

Snape sighed, shaking his head, “Why on Earth do I stand you?” he seemed to ask the universe.

“Because I’m a potions prodigy?” Rosa supplied for him. 

“In your dreams, child. An easy  _ Alohomora  _ will open the storage, you know where it is” Snape said with a roll of his eyes. “No more nightly visits from you, Miss Dawn”   


“Yes, sir” Rosa said with a wide smile, she was half turned before a question came to her, “Sir?” 

The Professor sighed, just expecting her to explain herself once more, “How’s Draco’s Occlumency?” She had been thinking about it in the past weeks; Draco seemed to be wanting to snog her senseless constantly when before the attack he refused it outright. 

“He’s blank” 

“Sir?” 

“If a Legilimens attacks him, he will be completely blank. It’s a sort of void, blackness, nothing”

Rosa let herself smile, “That’s good--”   


“Not in the slightest. How do you think the Dark Lord will react when he can’t read where Draco’s loyalties lie?”    


“Shit”   


“Indeed” Snape said, not bothering to scold the teenager for her language.

Rosa sighed, “Why the change? The attack?”   


“I believe it must be because his subconscious wants to protect his mate”

“Mate? Me?” 

Snape simply nodded in agreement. “He told you that he loved you, vice versa?” 

“Yes”   


“That is the simple answer for the change”

+++

“Draco?” Rosa called him, wearing his Quidditch jersey and a pair of loose shorts that stopped at midthigh. Draco was on the bed, reading, before he choked on air. Rosa bit her lower lip, suddenly feeling quite shy, even though her legs were free of any scarring. 

“Hi” she just said.

“Rosa Dawn” his voice was suddenly low and filled what Rosa could only describe as want. 

“Hi” Rosa said again. “I thought… um… well… your jersey is comfy” she just muttered.

“It’s Slytherin green” he just stated, dumbfounded.

“It’s yours…” she turned slightly, showing the silver MALFOY lettering in the back. 

“Come here” Draco’s voice was now suddenly demanding, seeing his surname within an article of clothing that Rosa was wearing. It made her feel his and his alone. 

Rosa smiled, blushing. She straddled him, this time finding the correct way thus Draco didn’t need to adjust her. Their lips connected, no gentleness lost between them. The kisses were hungry and demanding. 

“Draco…” the whine left Rosa’s throat, though she didn’t know what she was asking for. Her own hands were roaming his chest to his hair, his arms and back to his hair. His fucking hair. 

Her stomach was in knots, and her brain mush. All she could think about was how she wanted more of him, more of his lips on her, more of his hands, more, more, more.

Draco’s hand slipped under her shirt, feeling her back, feeling her sides. 

He froze. A whine left Rosa’s mouth, she leaned for more, only for Draco to lean away from her. Rosa opened her eyes looking at him, confused. 

“What is this, Rosa Dawn?” he asked, pressing her naked back to let her know what he meant. 

“I took a potion. I-- I know why you stopped yesterday, I know they’re not pretty, but I can… you can touch me now. I’ll be beautiful to you--”   


“No” Draco looked at her like she was insane.

“W-what?” Draco moved his hands, bringing them lazily around her. “Draco?” 

“You’re so dense sometimes, Rosa Dawn” Draco shook his head. “I don’t care about your scars--”   


“They’re ugly and disgusting--”   


“You are beautiful” he stared at her eyes, trying to get the message through. “I won’t touch you if you take a glamour potion” 

“B-but you stopped yesterday when you touched--”   


“Rosa I stopped because I didn’t want to come in my pants like a thirteen year old. And… I’m not ready. I don’t think you are either” 

“Oh” Rosa just said, “So… the scars…”   


“I love you, Rosa Dawn. All of you… speaking of which…  _ Accio _ ” a small box wrapped in Gryffindor colours came to his hand. “I’m not going to sing. But happy birthday, my love” 

“The.. the scars?” Rosa’s thoughts we’re now all over. 

Draco leaned in to give her a small peck to the corner of her mouth. “Don’t think about your scars. Think about the cake we’re about to eat”   


“You made cake?” Rosa giggled.

Draco snorted, “I asked the elves for a cake, Rosa Dawn. Now open your present” 

Rosa suddenly went quiet, as if a realization hit her.

“Dad didn’t send me anything” she sounded almost sad. “He always does…” Rosa shook his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts that were filling up her head. Not now. Not now that everything was perfect. 

Rosa opened the wrapper, to reveal a posh looking jewelry box. Opening it she found… well… she wasn’t really sure what it was. She looked up at Draco.

“I learnt something from Granger” that statement confused Rosa further. “It’s a hairclip” 

“Oh! Oh, I see it now” on a first glance the piece of jewelry looked like an expensive silver stick with some white cherry blossom flowers. 

“It goes with the silver jewelry your Father gave you… But when I think about you it’ll feel grow warm” Rosa smiled like a schoolgirl.

“Put it on me?” she requested. Draco took the pin, moving some of Rosa’s now shorter bangs to the side, pinning them. 

“See? Beautiful, no matter if your face was filled with scars” Rosa felt a warm tingle against her scalp, the clip growing warm. “You need to promise something,” Rosa’s smile faltered slightly, “If you ever feel it go ice cold, promise me you’ll run straight to the Order, get safe, run or apparate or just… get away from Him”

“When it goes cold… does it mean… that--”

“I’m dead” he provided for her. 

“Does the charm go both ways?” Rosa asked, trying to get rid of the image of Draco bleeding in Myrtle’s bathroom. 

“My watch has the same charms on it” Draco’s face looked like he was trying to get rid of similar images. 

“Then that promise of running away goes both ways” Rosa’s tone suggested that it was not a request. 

To her slight surprise, Draco nodded, “Cross my heart, Rosa Dawn” she planted a kiss on to the corner of his mouth.

“Thank you, love” 

“Please, please, only ever call me that from now on” Draco laughed. 

“Love” Rosa said again, mirroring his smile.    


When they were alone, they were different people. Inside their quarters walls they could just be like this, safe in each others arms. Kindness and gentleness were words in their vocabulary whilst outside they had to put their masks on. It was easier for Rosa; she had no friends, no one who would actually care about the reality of her situation. Draco tried to keep to himself, but his cronies together with Pansy and Blaise would sometimes probe into his business. 

The ‘business’ that Rosa still knew nothing about. She had chosen to put all that into the back of her mind, Draco would not tell her anything either way. 

She wished she would have, because two weeks after her favorite birthday everything crumbled down and asking help to sleep from Snape didn’t seem like a proper thing to hate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter will be around quicker than this one! I have been thinking about that chapter since I started writing this whole thing!
> 
> Leave a comment/kudos/bookmark or just lovely day!


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